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Search - "speech"
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Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.
"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"
"Uh... look at my beard"
"What"
"Just look at this beard!"
"Uh.... OK"
"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"
"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"
"You don't have to lie"
She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.
"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"
"Yeah"
"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."
She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"
Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."
Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.
Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"
"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"
Joanna: "No I already took care of it"
"How?"
"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"
Me: "I do miss shaving though"68 -
I fucked up hard for the first time yesterday at work.
Came in and expected a huge speech from the bossman.
He called me to his office:
Explained me where I went wrong and what I should do next time with a big smile on his face!24 -
I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.
Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!
What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!
And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).
Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"
And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!
FUUUUCK!
*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?28 -
1. Start working in company that is celebrating something the same day you start new job.
2. Make sure they invite you.
3. Get drunk hard before event.
4. Puke on a CEO during his opening speech.
Mission accomplished you’re now a legend.8 -
So i've been a dev manager for a little while now. Thought i'd take some time to disambiguate some job titles to let everyone know what they might be in for when joining / moving around a big org.
Title: Senior Software Engineer
Background:
- Technical
- Clever
- Typically has years experience building what management are trying to build
Responsibilities:
- Building new features
- Writing code
- Code review
- Offering advice to product manag......OH NO YOU DON'T CODE MONKEY, BACK TO WORK!
Title: Dev Manager
Background:
- Technical
- Former/current programmer
- knows his/her way around a codebase.
Responsibilities:
- Recruiting / interviewing new staff
- Keeping the team focused and delivering tasks
- Architecture decisions
- Lying about complexity of architecture decisions to ensure team gets the actual time they need
- Lying about feature estimations to ensure team gets to work on critical technical improvements that were cancelled / de-prioritised
- Explaining to hire-ups why we can't "Just do it quicker"
- Explaining to senior engineers why the product manager declined their meeting request
Title: Product / Product Manager
Background:
- Nothing relevant to the industry or product line what so ever
- Found the correct building on the day of the interview
- Has once opened an Excel spreadsheet and successfully saved it to a desktop
Responsibilities:
- Making every key decision about every feature available in the app
- Learning to ignore that inner voice we like to call "Common sense"
- Making sure to not accidentally take some advice from technical staff
- Raising the blood pressure of everyone below them / working with them
Title: Program Lead / Product Owner
Background:
- Capable of speech
- Aware of what a computer is (optional)
Responsibilities:
- Sitting down
- Talking
- Clicking random buttons on Jira
- Making bullet point lists
Title: Director of Software Engineering
Background:
- Allegedly attended college/university to study computer science
- Similar to a technical product manager (technical optional)
Responsibilities:
- Reports directly to VP
- Fixes problems by creating a different problem somewhere else as a distraction
- Claiming to understand and green light technical decisions, while having already agreed with product that it will never happenrant program lead practisesafehexs-new-life-as-a-manager management explanation product product owner9 -
So... This company was in trouble. They hire me to help fix things and build this nice new stack to get rid of their old legacy monster application.
I'm there for three weeks when one of their top investors storms in. Apparently they are turning less profit than they told me during my interview. (Yeah, it is one of the things I always ask, even thought I don't always get an answer).
So this investor/shareholder guy starts on this motivation speech which is basically a veiled threat that "we" need to do better.
Obviously he doesn't know anyone in the room other than the boss. And it was apparent, at least to me, he also has 0% knowledge of anything related to software development. The boss doesn't look to happy about having to let this happen.
Then the guy turns to me. He points his finger at me and demands to know how failing so badly makes me feel...
So I answered truthfully... "I've only been here for three weeks, so I don't think I've been failing too much, yet. Now, how long did you say you've been throwing money at this failure without getting the return you wanted?" Emphasizing the "you" by pointing right back at him.
That doesn't shut the guy up, but he does bring his "motivational" speech to a rapid close.
He doesn't bother saying goodbye when he stormed out again, not even to the boss, who looks a lot happier at this point.
Apparently the guy pulled this stunt every couple of months (or weeks, if he was bored enough). After this encounter, he apparently had enough of trying to "motivate" us developers. We I didn't see him again in the 2 years I worked with the company after that.
I got a pay raise the month after. Apparently that was totally unrelated to this incident... 😙🎵11 -
First internship (ranted about it before).
- Had to google translate their entire internal crm.
- pointed out major security flaws and got a speech saying that "I shouldn't think so high of myself and I didn't have the fucking right to criticize their products"
- every time the boss came to the office after a failed sales presentation, we (interns) got called the most nasty stuff. Yes. We didn't have anything to do with that at all.
- I had "hygiene issues": window to the south with 35-40 degrees (Celsius) feeling temperature and no airco. Deo didn't really make a difference but wasn't allowed to use it there anyways. Details: I have a transpiration issue so I sweat shitloads more than other people, that didn't help at all.
- nearly got fired because I had to to to the doctor in company time for a serious health issue.
- was (no kidding) REQUIRES to use internet explorer and we were monitored constantly.
Self esteem dropped through the fucking ground there.12 -
Linux developers threaten to pull the kill switch...talking about giving people the finger this week...
If you have been following the nerd news these last weeks you may have heard about Linus leaving Linux (temporarily) and implementing the new CoC (pronounced cock) code of conduct thanks to the constant pressure of the ABC of inclusion (LGBTQLMNOP+ groups).
This new code of conduct aims, believe it or not, to change the predominantly white, straight, and male face of programming and it also seems to "mitigate the consequences of dogmatic meritocracy".
That's right, are you white, male, straight or otherwise pull yourself out of the mud? Yes, YOU are part of the problem (also racist, sexist and probably islamophobic).
Bullshit I know, these SJW privileged upper class assholes are pushing for these changes to inspire witch-hunts against good devs like Larry Garfield (cause: sexual fetishes) and give themselves more power over the free speech of people.
Ironic if you ask me because I haven't seen anything similar for oil rigging which is riddled with cis males (but ain't as comfy).
But not everything is lost and that's why this hasn't been a mouth foaming rant because boy I'm proud to know there are devs with balls out there; It seems there's a little detail with the GPL2 license and all those unjustly banned by the new stupid racist ass CoC can withdraw the license to their contributions crippling the Linux kernel project.
I'm not happy that GNU/Linux is being threatened like so, but it was about time we put a stop to this, your politics, skin color, religion and ideas should not matter when developing code, what matters is the code you produce.
Want to politicize our repos and kick out devs just because they don't think the way you do? Let's see how long you last without the contributions of the "deplorables"; let us see how many good contributions your new "diverse", PC stack do (other than changing master/slave or other terms).
My guess...as I've said earlier, everything these PC busybodies touch, if unchecked, crumbles to dust. (EA 😉)
Sources:
https://lulz.com/linux-devs-threate...
https://contributor-covenant.org//
https://lists.llvm.org/pipermail/...80 -
Biggest scaling challenge?
The imaginary scaling issues from clients.
Client : How do you cope with data that's a billion times bigger than our current data set? Can you handle that? How much longer will it take to access some data then?
I could then give a speech about optimizing internal data structures and access algorithms that work with O(log n) complexity, but that wouldn't help, non-tech people will not understand that.
And telling someone, the system will be outdated and hopefully been replaced when that amount of data is reached, would be misinterpreted as "Our system can not handle it".
So the usual answer is: "No problem, our algorithms are optimized so they can handle any amount of data"6 -
You what's been pissing me off this week. The press and social media coverage of this Google guy's gender memo.
Almost every outlet has him saying:
"Women are inferior coders because of their biology"
He ABSOLUTELY does not say this anywhere. He only states that basically less women are attracted to the industry. He doesn't comment at all on the quality of the Women who do go into tech.
It astonishes me the utter ignorance of the media and how they can just print these ignorant errors / lies.
I would wager that most if not all of them never even read his memo.
I am really fucked off by this social media keyboard warrior driven world we live in.
Apparently we value freedom of speech and freedom of expression above all else... UNLESS you say something that pisses off the social media justice warriors. In that case you will be publicly crucified and your life / career will be destroyed.
The annoying thing is in this particular case he didn't even say what they are saying he did.43 -
This was at my first internship (was fired later for other bs reasons).
They got me as a programming intern but very soon I felt very conflicted with multiple things:
1. Got to google translate their internal CRM into five languages. After two weeks (the estimate I gave them) I discovered that I overlooked the second half, apologized and got a whole shitstorm at my face.
2. Was only allowed to use Internet Explorer for everything *cry face*.
3. Saw multiple security flaws in their main product, told my boss (also my internship manager) about it because hey, I'm security oriented and it might help them. Next day he called me into his office and I got a huge speech about who the fuck I am to criticize their product and that I was a security wannabee who doesn't know shit.
4. Boss came home after a product presentation went sideways. The interns didn't have anything to do with that but he called (or, yelled big time) us every dirty word he could think of and blamed us.
Luckily I was fired after like five weeks. I literally cried of happiness when I walked home. I was too shy to stand up for myself by that time (even only 2-3 years ago)14 -
Find me a co-founder of a startup who while telling about his/her company doesn't say "Machine Learning" in his/her speech.
I dare you. I double dare you.5 -
Let's get something straight people, the trend to change terms in programming languages for PC approved ones is NOT for "making the workplace a better place".
If you are one of those who say "oh it's just terms, if it makes them feel better why not?", "I don't care so should everybody else", "the outrage proves we need to change the terms!".
No sir, first of all, since when has programming been about ditching standards to make people "feeel" better? Since when has engineering been about that?! We are engineers, we don't change shit and waste effort trying to fix things that are working.
Second, this word cleansing does NOT come from a well intentioned one, it's not about making the workplace a better place, it's not about minorities, it's about sanitizing language from an ideological and political standpoint to please an agenda pushing minority who doesn't give a shit about any real social issues.
They have done it to movies, videogames, news, political speech, magazines, books and now programming. It doesn't stop and they will never be satisfied, it's not about changing the terms, no one gives a shit about the terms, it's about pandering to ideological crybabies who want to control what you say because it "offends" them or some supposedly oppressed group from which we just hear anecdotal evidence.
Personally I wouldn't give a shit if it was for technical reasons, but it's not and I've seen what this shit does to communities I love and I won't stand it happening to the dev community just because some weak ass, no balls coders decided to pander to the retards on the far left to score virtue points instead of standing their ground.
Are you worried about oppressed groups? Donate money to third world children, speak out about women in Siria, travel to actual shitty 3rd world countries so you realize changing words on a GitHub repo on your expensive ass MacBook, sipping your soy based coffee on an office with air conditioning is not making the world a better place you delusional prick.
You want to ignore the facts be my guest, be willfully ignorant, but I will not police myself and my ideas for your ideological beliefs, not in gaming, not here. Fuck off.31 -
Last Friday some company invited my project group (I am studying IT) to visit their offices.
After a little speech, they shew us the open spaces (dont feed the developers ;) ). After a few minutes, someone told me :
- "It's a fake, they are not true devs"
-"Why ?"
-" Seriously, who uses light theme to code?"7 -
So today my middle company put a meeting with the new HR.
Meeting subject: you can't poach inside the company.
Context: I resigned, and I'll be taking with me 3 profiles.
HR: If you do take them, we'll take you to court.
Me: Why?
HR: It's poaching and by contract, you can't.
Me: You can show which clause?
HR: That's not the problem.
Me: Also in France, you need to notify the employee as you are denying his right to get a job. And pay him for that.
HR: What? That's none sense! Stop talking and listen.
Me: Ok
HR: We'll sue you and crush you. You'll have so much legal problem that you...
Me: I'll just start recording on my phone, so you say that you accept it and continue your intimidation rant.
HR: What? No!! Stop that.
Me: *stop it* Would you rather have my lawyer with us? Because we'll need to reschedule the meeting.
HR: If you continue that way, we'll tarnish your name and no company will hire you.
Me: You really aren't familiar with IT, right? Because I could delete ALL production. No system work. The BCP will kick in. You will lose one or two days. Then make an article of it, showing what kind of process or security should have been implemented. And I will still get a high pay job!!
HR: You know what? Get out! If you want to go to war, your problem.
Me: Ok, so you'll be getting news from my lawyer by mail.
HR: what?
Me: Yeah, that harassment. And my lawyer will get in touch. And I might also post on LinkedIn. And talk about it in the next events I'm invited.
HR: that's, that's...
Me: freedom of speech. Don't worry I'll write it so it's only viewed as my opinion. Have a nice day.
Two hours later my friend, lawyer, send them a mail and email.
Three hours later the COO calls me. Saying that HR was out of line and that it'll no occur again. It was an error and I should be forgiving.
So now all discussion with HR must be held with my attorney :). And middle company pay for it.6 -
Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"8
-
I stare through the blueish black backgrounds and blurry colorful syntax into a somewhat familiar office within a mirrored world. That damned reflective glass layer covering these meaningless pixels is certainly not on my side.
The rushing sound of transactions flowing through cables is silenced today. Some blood cloth in the invoicing system is zeroing out everything after the currency mark.
While sighing I spin a one-and-a-half pirouette on my desk chair — even when desperate, you shouldn't give up on style — I take three steps away from my screen and try to harmonize my thoughts.
So much noise, everywhere... Noise from within?
I have been stuck at the apogee of an inhale for a while now. Locked into some masochistic constriction, self-punishment for the blindness which stings my ego.
Just fucking take a deep breath you asshole...
I freeze in place, and fall backwards.
Patterns on the creamy drywall rapidly vibrate and synchronize on vivid rhythms of respiration and resonating basslines. Deep indigo rainbows ripple through tiny veins, in-between chalky grains, raining as fine magenta dust through the ceiling frames.
My bare feet slide over soft oscillating concrete, fine flows of unsievable sand surrounded by toes, toes surrounded by streaming variables veiled in obscure vile abstractions.
A jadegreen field of vectored compressions resiliently rumbles and bounces through the clearances and corners of the vibrant concrete office cave, whispering in tongues. I try to voice my woes in little blips and bleeps but I seem to be missing an asymmetric key to their shrouded sequenced speech.
Suddenly, a wild turbulence breaks up all signals.
Joanna floats by in her tipsy effervescent cloud of disordered black hair and alcohol perfume, one hand grasping grapes, her other waving at me.
With every finger she moves a thousand tensors propagating paradoxically flawed but perfect pieces of an intricate surreal picture, sketching whole constellations of possible paths throughout the leafs of the giant Ficus next to her desk.
She stops dead in her tracks, and asks somewhat hypocritically: "Are you high?"
I can not discern the meaning of her words, and respond stoically.
"Joanna! Check out those branches!".
"Pun intended?", she giggles.
I'm focused on her grapeless hand, her fingers stretching to reach the lush little tree.
On touch, the plant shivers, grappled in the tight net of the puppet master. She pulls her strings, applying measured weights, all nodes normalize, and Joanna speaks in an oddly soft tone:
"Isn't it beautiful, how so many models emulate nature"
Her cheek buried in foliage she babbles on about unbalanced search trees and machine learning models... but from the tips of her fingers tables and indexes flow into the plant. Users, payments, tariffs, invoices and taxes crawl over the bark, joining at thicker branches, joining at the stem....
Joining. JOINING. A JOIN.
"IF THERE'S NO FUCKING TAX MULTIPLIER IN THIS LEFT JOIN, EVERYTHING COALESCES TO ZERO" I shout at a perplexed Joanna who squeezes grape juice over her desk. I hop on the beat to my keyboard. She looks puzzled, hugs her Ficus tightly, and reaches for the whiskey bottle behind her monitor.
Attracted by my exclamation, Tom from finance swings open the door, while I push my branch.
I look at Joanna still half hiding between the leaves, and I laugh at her: "Branches! Oh, lame, I finally got it!"
Tom's heavy voice interrupts me: "Does this mean... does this mean that the invoicing bug is resolved?".
I smile at Tom with his tailored suit and waxed hair. "The money is flowing once more. All debts are being settled."
He releases his breath in relief, which he seems to have held since that morning as well.
Joanna adds: "Although I think he is forever indebted to my Ficus".
I nod.14 -
In this case the person who quit was me.
Agency didn't pay the past 4 months, we asked at least the reimbursment of expences.
They told in a 2 hour arrogant speech that we must thanks them becouse they make us work even if they aren't paying. They said that "in this period these are the rules and we must accept this condition." So, I stand up, I went to shake the hand of the boss and others, I went to the door saying "good luck".
All the coworkers stand up and applauded.
Two months later the agency was closed declaring failure.6 -
I just wanted to share a quote that I think is completely magnificent.
"Saying that you don't care about privacy because you have nothing to hide is like saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say."
- Edward Snowden26 -
Setup a pi to be functioning as vpn server and pihole tonight.
Now working on a Jasper voice assistant on another pi, because I can choose for offline speech processing and don't have to use a mass surveillance network for this (google).
Today is a good day.19 -
No, I didn't. Also, beside the point but only guys on that team apart from me.
Why is this such a fucking pressing issue right now? I feel terrible that because of my presence everyone now thinks they have to mind their language. I say 'guys', I will say 'guys', I will be called 'guys' and will always oppose this bullshit agenda of coming up with problems where they don't exist.
In my world suppressing your natural speech is a form of censorship. And where there is censorship there is me in rage, rage FUCKING RAGE!10 -
Did you read about the new Digital Services Act and Digital Markets Act laws of the European Union, that will go in effect in 2022? Pretty neat stuff, more transparency, user rights and a tool against internet monopolies.
"Very big online plattforms" must submit reports on freedom of speech, abuse of human rights, manipulation of public opinion.
EU assigned scientists will gain access to trade secrets like google search or Amazon recommendation algorithm to analyze potential threats.
The EU can fine serial offenders 10 % of their yearly income. And break up companies that stiffle competition.
Internet companies like Facebook will not be permitted to share user data between their products like Instagram and WhatsApp.
There will be a unified ruleset on online advertisement. Each add must have the option to find out why this add is shown to the user.
Unlike the GDRP data protection rule the two acts will be valid at the Union level. So that there won't be any exceptions from single member states.
Let's hope this leads to a better Internet and not things like cookie pop ups 😄
Link to the EU DMA DSA page
> https://ec.europa.eu/digital-single...49 -
Guys, Guys, Guys!
I've just won employee of the month! And you know what is even better? The elders of the internet allowed to lend the internet to me to use it in my speech! I couldn't be happier (they even know who I am!)10 -
First Post!
I am a student who is just starting out in cs and web design. I don't really like web design that much and don't see a future for myself but I run a small website for fun.
Whenever and I mean whenever I show my roommate or friends a side project hosted on the site I get a 8 minute long speech about how an aspect of my design is flawed, how my color scheme is trash, and how I should do X thing instead. Whenever I argue and say that I like my design I'm met with "I'm the end user and the user is always right"9 -
Venting some anger, this is a long one
<rant>
So last Friday we had a 'Christmas' party at work... Only it wasn't a Christmas party... Because that would be racist against people who don't celebrate Christmas (of whom they are none at work), also no Christmas songs, because of the same reason and because it looked unprofessional... They also removed karaoke... (an Christmas tradition at the office) Because again, it was unprofessional
But we all got a Christmas card... Strange because we weren't allowed to celebrate it 😑 and the message in that card was one of the most standard messages I've ever seen, something like
Hello $name, we enjoyed working with you in 2017, let's make 2018 even better, merry Christmas
MERRY CHRISTMAS!? BUT THAT'S RACIST WASN'T IT!!!???
W T F !
also our sales guy did a speech, the following is an actual quote
'software is an amazing product'
Yeah mate, software is the product... Totally not the stuff we create with it
Sorry if people get/are offended in anyway, but if you decide that having a Christmases party at work is racist in any way or form, then don't have a party at all... Not some lame half Christmas party...
</rant>12 -
My friend left their macbook unlocked, so we parsed the entire story of Moby Dick into the text to speech and left it in the background on full volume. Never seen such a confused face in my life.
-
Today I visited a partnered company, best summarized as "our people are the best at what they do, although we haven't figured out what it is that we do".
It was fucking awful.
Halfway a presentation about "capitalization on the internet of things" which featured nothing about hardware or protocols at all, a guy stood up and started talking about improvements on ecdsa and schnorr encryption or something... for no apparent reason. Then followed a bunch of pretty slides about the sharing economy... after which the CEO concluded with some vague speech about decentralized management of assets in a globalist world or whatever...
It was like a bunch of pretty smart people all had been locked up in some kind of closet with mirrors on the inside for six months, discussed their best ideas with their own reflections, then immediately grouped up and convinced an investor to fund their startup.
Ugh, I have to wash my ears and eyes with bleach. My brain is flooded with pretentious bullshit buzz and over the top startup decadence.
Actually, I think this sums it up best: There was a framed oil painting of the CEO with his dogs in the conference room, and the bathroom had a large marble Charizard statue watching me pee.8 -
(!dev)
Fuck Twitter.
I get sucked in for 10 minutes through some news article, and my blood is boiling.
I think the platform does not even deserve to exist.
And I didn't think I would ever say that.
I used to be a staunch defender of the free & open internet, even with it's ugly and extreme sides, because I was convinced the good would outshine the evil.
I displayed the Pirate flag with pride on the mast outside of my house, I was intimately involved in the founding of their political party in my country. I was convinced of the power of the internet, I believed it would empower democracy and debate.
So why do simple tweets, even just the ones about technology, incite an endless stream of vile ultranationalist & misogynist hate?
How is it that those who are reasonable get drowned out?
That fucking character limit is a cancer.
The orator's wings are clipped. The richness of language is wilting before our eyes. All that remains are a bunch of caged chickens pecking every argument to death.
I will defend the right to free speech, even when it comes to the most disagreeable and controversial opinions.
But Twitter does not promote free speech. It's poison to free speech.
It's an endless torrent of non sequiturs, which constricts all reason and intellect. It replaces free speech by pretending to have equal value.
I really don't care if you are left or right, socialist or libertarian, globalist or nationalist.
You can argue to me that we should close all borders for immigrants, that Apple makes great products, that genocide has its pros, you could try to convince me that Heineken tastes acceptable (sorry AlexDeLarge), that Linux should be outlawed or that we should really try to bring this Eugenics thing back again.
Just be fucking rational -- and "Rationality implies the conformity of one's beliefs with one's reasons to believe"
You can NOT fit both your beliefs and their supporting reasons in 140 or even 280 characters.
So what's left is just your beliefs.
Stripped of all reason.
Repeat it often enough, keep spewing, keep throwing out incomplete arguments, and you'll train yourself to forego ratio in your convictions completely.
All social platforms should get a forced captcha for every spelling/grammar error, and a 1000 character minimum.
The world would be a slightly better place.6 -
Online tutorial pet peeves
————————————
My top 10 points of unsolicited ranting/advice to those making video tutorials:
1. Avoid lots of pauses, saying “umm” too much, or other unnecessary redundancy in speech (listen to yourself in a recording)
2. If I can’t understand you at 1.5 - 2x playback speed and you don’t already speak relatively quickly and clearly, I’m probably not going to watch for long (mumbling, inconsistent microphone volume, and background noise/music are frequent culprits)
3. It’s ok to make mistakes in a tutorial, so long as you also fix them in the tutorial (e.g., the code that is missing a semicolon that all of a sudden has one after it compiles correctly — but no mention of fixing it or the compiler error that would have been received the first time). With that said, it’s fine to fix mistakes pertinent to the topic being taught, but don’t make me watch you troubleshoot your non-relevant computer issues or problems created by your specific preferences (e.g., IDE functionality not working as expected when no specific IDE was prescribed for the tutorial)
4. Don’t make me wait on your slow computer to do something in silence—either teach me something while it’s working or edit the video to remove the lull
5. You knew you were recording your screen. Close your email, chat, and other applications that create notifications before recording. Or at least please don’t check them and respond while recording and not edit it out of the video
6. Stay on topic. I’m watching your video to learn about something specific. A little personality is good, but excessive tangents are often a waste of my time
7. [Specific to YouTube] Don’t block my view of important content with annotations (and ads, if within your control)
8. If you aren’t uploading quality HD recordings, enlarge your font! Don’t make me have to guess what character you typed
9. Have a game plan (i.e., objectives) before hitting the record button
10. Remember that it’s easier to rant and complain than to do something constructive. Thank you for spending your time making tutorial videos. It’s better for you to make videos and commit all my pet peeves listed above than to not make videos at all—don’t let one guy’s rant stop you from sharing your knowledge and experience (but if it helps you, you’re welcome—and you just might gain a new viewer!)14 -
My System Analysis professor wants to fail me because I refuse to store PDF files in the database in my project.
He wants me to store THE WHOLE BINARY FILE in the database instead of on the filesystem.
When I tried to explain why that would be bad, he interrupted me and began the "you think you know more than I do? I've been teaching this for X years" speech.
How do such people become professors?24 -
Wow. THE CEO JUST DID AN EMPATHIC SPEECH BECAUSE OUR PAYROLL GOT DELAYED.
He ran out of money. Begging for us to be pressured and bear his child that's even dead by now(his projects).
I guess someone said that it's already a sinking ship. I have to row my own boat and find a new course.13 -
November brings .Net 5, for anyone who cares about that, and after listening to my husband watch Ignite "reveal" advertising container, and all the enterprise virtue signaling therein, I am now to the point where the only thing I can think is "Fuck you Microsoft, and Fuck .Net 5."
During a 30 minute speech, the director of the dotnet platform commits the following flagrant faux pas:
1. Introduces tons of visual studio easy buttons for shit we already do, no mention of VS code support.
2. Shows tools that anyone other than the most insular enterprise mouth-breather have been using for no less than 6 years
3. Gives absolutely no credit to the Open Source community projects backing the features he's showing
4. Shows nothing but mono-cloud integration, makes no mention of any other cloud targets for new features
5. Acts like "deploy your app the cloud from IDE" is something anyone should be doing in 2020
6. Showed an API repl that is pathetic compared to httpie when it was in alpha
7. Showed blazor loading from cache and said "Look at how instantaneous it is" (if you ignore the 5mb of cached payload it took to run the hello world demo)
8. Shows Project Tye, presenting it as a new groundbreaking xyz, fails to mention helm already exists
What's absent is what is most offensive:
- acknowledgment of community contribution
- no linux/mac tools, entirely windows-centric (which jives with my prediction of second-class citizenship for the people who contributed to .net core the most)
- cross-cloud capabilities
- bash/zsh (again with the untermensch relegation)
Fucking microsoft back to their old bullshit.24 -
New windows update,
Do you wanna Enable Speech assistant?
Me, No..
Do you want to be tracked?
Me, HELL NO!
Do you want a special ID that we can give you better ads?
Me, WTF WINDOWS!
Last question,
Me, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE9 -
CEO calls the Android team in for a congratulatory speech. Likens us to tower builders in the age of cellular tech, building the infrastructure of something great. Then finishes his talk with “and when they were finished, they fired all the tower builders”
I think he was trying to joke, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.5 -
While setting up a very complex development environment I asked my colleges, why are certain configuration steps needed. They replied only "Just do it!". I see, that they may be Nike fans or deeply inspired by the Shia LaBeouf motivation speech, but I still feel like:2
-
At an office job I worked at (2018), one day we were told to drop everything we were doing for the day and gather around, because there was a lady (about 70 years old) who had stopped by to give us "Life Advice".
The lady started her speech with this statement:
"In 1974, I lived in a mansion with 7 servants at my service and 4 cars".
I'm not making this up.
Then she rambled on for 15 mins about how she faced difficulties in her life, starting from studying in a boarding school in Switzerland, then coming back to India to work at the Taj Hotel (Mumbai) under a team of world-renowned chefs who were mean to her, at her internship which paid her about $2500 USD a month in 1985.
But the point she made was, in spite of all her difficulties, she never gave up and kept working.
When she was finally done, NOBODY clapped. She felt awkward as hell and we saw it on her face.
I still chuckle when I think about that incident.11 -
Social media censorship is such a fucked up shithole of bullshit.
Ig thot models post their asses and tits on there about twice a week and it's not a big problem at all. Just turn a blind eye to that.
But God forbid you post something that is vaguely mean or anything political that isn't center to left, and that bitch is getting deleted for bullying or harassment.
I commented on this post and basically just said "your mom sounds like a bitch" but that got deleted for harassment. Is that really what harassment is? Well holy fuck I harass my friends like a few dozen times a day so I should probably get arrested.
Gotta love having speech censored under the umbrella of "pReVeNtiNg BuLlYiNg".20 -
The state of the web in 2020:
discussion sites as a medium are dying. chalk that up to censorship.
reddit is an echochamber. twitter is mostly a marketing platform disguised as (anti)social media. instagram is a self promotion/wannabe eceleb site, and youtube is the new hollywood..quickly becoming irrelevant.
facebook is where I (dont) go to (totally not) ignore all the people important to me.
and email is where I go to send letters bordering on hatespeech to my various local and federal "representatives", in between borderline cyberbullying people stupid enough not to automate their spam marketing in 2020. or talking to left/right self-help grifters about the state of society.
in the grim dark future of 2020, the last bastion of intelligent conversation, free speech, and civility, the one shining icon of hope in a dark world..
is the comment section of pornhub videos where a women got stuck under a bed for the 50,000th time. And all I can think is "wow I never knew how easy it was to get trapped under a bed. They should look into fixing this safety hazard."
newsmedia has jumped so many sharks, the fonz now spins in his grave so fast we could hook him up to a generator. meanwhile people hide in their homes for a disease so deadly you have to be tested to know if you even have it.
while ever more car commercials
are released, set to somber but hopeful piano music to the tune of "in this time of social distancing its important to stay close even when we're apart."
Im beginning to think media has become a poison on society, both television and the internet, and like an ersatz cargo cultist worshipping the great-charles- manson-in-the-sky we should all take a page from the unabomber and smash our televisions with hammers before going outside and sawing down the telephone polls.
I jest of course. But there is no denying the inherent appeal of moving from the unsettling uncertainty of complex societies, driven by expertly manipulated fear cycles, to the beatitude-esque simplicty of pastoral protestant style living, sans witch burning and shoe buckles.
And against the reckoning of utopians who are still fresh from the womb as it were, wet behind the ears and smelling of their mother's pussy, I reject the notion that "up" is a synonym for "forward."
Were it the case, every drinking binge, followed by throwing up, would bring us, with each vomitting, one step closer to heaven. Rather the state of affairs is what it is, and what it is, like most of nature, is a cruel master and a harsh teacher. And while we may binge on digital delusions of grandeur and a greater society, rest easy in the nihilistic and sobering thought that we are little more than 200,000 year old cave men wielding magic bricks, and atomic bombs.
..where water flows more readily from metal tubes in our houses than it does from the nile. where food comes to our door at little more than our beck and call.
where we may bath, and sleep, and *shit*, cleanly, comfortably, and safely, wrapped in the (failing) bubble of delusion we all tenaciously grasp collectively, the thing we call "civilization".
an empire of needful things, wanton and fragile.
if we have not gone mad from boredom, I have no doubt we one day will.
it becomes more and more obvious to me every day, had war never existed, it would have been necessary for man to invent it just to have something to do, that didnt include farming, fucking, or building.
And so enters "political idealogy."
How would we ever have enemies if we were allowed to speak our piece instead of being given the means (and reflex dogwhistle training) to silence and destroy one another?
give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank. give a man a bank, he'll rob the world.
give him a media empire or a tech platform, and he'll lie about the theft and convince one half of millions of lemmings to hate all the other lemmings.11 -
I was on vacation when my employer’s new fiscal year started. My manager let me take vacation because it’s not like anything critical was going to happen. Well, joke was on us because we didn’t foresee the stupidity of others…
I had to update a few product codes in the website’s web config and deploy those changes. I was only going to be logged in for 30 minutes to complete that.
I get messaged by one of our database admins. He was doing testing and was unable to complete a payment on the website. That was strange. There was a change pushed by our offsite dev agency, but that was all frontend changes (just updating text) and wouldn’t affect payments.
We don’t want to enlist the dev agency for debugging work, especially when it’s not likely that it’s a code issue. But I was on vacation and I couldn’t stay online past the time I had budgeted for. So my employer enlists the dev agency for help. It’s going to be costly because the agency is in Lithuania, it was past their business hours, and it was emergency support.
Dev agency looks at error logs. There are Apple Pay errors, but that doesn’t explain why non Apple Pay transactions aren’t going through. They roll back my deployment and theirs, but no change. They tell my employer to contact our payment processor.
My manager and the Product Manager contact Payroll, who is the stakeholder for our payment gateways. Payroll contacts our payment gateway and finds out a service called Decision Manager was recently configured for our account. Decision Manager was declining all payments. Payroll was not the person who had Decision Manager installed and our account using this service was news to her.
Payroll works with our payment processor to get payments working again. The damage is pretty severe. Online payments were down for at least 12 hours. Our call center had logged reports from customers the night before.
At our post mortem, we had to find out who ok’d Decision Manager without telling anyone. Luckily, it was quick work. The first stakeholder up was for the Fundraising Dept. She said it wasn’t her or anyone on her team. Our VP of Analytics broke it to her that our payment processor gave us the name of the person who ok’d Decision Manager and it was someone on the Fundraising team. Fundraising then starts backtracking and says that oh yes she knew about it but transactions were still working after the Decision Manager had been configured. WTAF.
Everyone is dumbfounded by this. How could you make a big change to our payment processor and not tell anyone? How did our payment processor allow you to make this change when you’re not the account admin (you’re just a user)?
Our company head had to give an awkward speech about communication and how it’s important. The web team can’t figure out issues if you don’t tell us what you did. The company head was pissed because it was a shitty way to start off the new fiscal year. Our bill for the dev agency must have been over $1000 for debugging work that wasn’t helpful.
Amazingly, no one was fired.4 -
#rant
Instead of receiving a motivation in 2018, my boss decided to go anti mainstream and started with demotivation speech.
He started with how good we were last year even when he wasn't around. Well done team! But after that, it went downhill.
We were asked to work even harder, we got new policy (no unpaid leave, no paid overtime, minimum 40 hours working, etc) which some of them make sense and some don't, a specifically set break time (apparently to shut down smokers for smoking at random times), and warning for not being punctual.
And pay rise only after end of financial year.
To make it worse, we are not allowed to take naps or watch youtube on our desk on our breaks.
I seriously wonder what happened during his Christmas NY break. I'm not an entrepreneur so I have no idea if that is a right way to run a company or if Australia government just created new law. But surely I know this is when I say "New year, new company"7 -
Definitly !rant; btw long post ahead
Soooo not so long ago i joined this community by chance just cuz i installed some app randomly found on google store and what can i say. Best decision ever!
I can say i never met such an interesting and diverse communitiy ever and i kin of ground fond of it (i usually dont get too attached to peoples).
After a while i felt the urge to get myself involved into some disscusion at some random post and i did it. But it felt empty as my image was just a plain green bubble of anonymity. But yeh, i am cool with it, i will customize it after some ++es. No problem!
I got incremented for a while and i got to make a simple generic avatar. I felt again a urge, but this time to customize even more. Sadly, anything cool needs approval by the people. Soo i kind of let it go as i am not really the kind to find myself talking in other businesses and i moved over.
Until i saw it! Not the tiger, not the bird but the dog! Annnd i wanted it so i made a joke that i am a wizard with an invisible dog. What can go wrong, right? Well the thing is.. it did not go wrong, as expected, but it went great, kinda unexpected.
How? Well, some random stranger felt me and gave me a hunble chance to get closer to my dreamy real dog. And so it begin, my crusade to get that damn dog!
But what i have realised fast is .. this is not facebook! Nor Instagram! People doesnot upvote attention whoreing or such lowly acts, but they are actually prone to support people who just.. get involved.
And so i did. I got involved. I actually got involved in a community! For a awkwardly introvert person that's something, but maybe more than few of you people can relate to this.
And today i finally reached that goal! I have a real doggo! Well, real as in not invisible, not as in a great responsability, but now i have both. But this was not such a big deal. The big deal is that i found people whos interests are alike to mine and are prone to help, support and befriend others. I must say, thanks to all! Wonderful time, and while i am not here for a long time, i will surely be!
Cheers and dev on!15 -
Downloaded Replika, which is an app that gives you an AI that you talk to, learns from your speech and becomes your ideal friend.
An hour in, and I've had better, meaningful conversations with the AI than my two decades of chatting with other humans.10 -
Inspired by the comment I posted on another rant.
My uni decided to be one of those progressive tech schools that start people with Python. Mind you, I had prepared myself with studying as much as I could with math and programming by automating things and similar stuff in our computer when I was at my previous job, so I had a better idea as to what i could expect.
Introduction to computer science and programming with Python or some shit like that was the name of the class, and the instructor was a fat short ugly woman with a horrible attitude AND a phd in math, not comp sci and barely any industrial knowledge of the field.
She gave us the "a lot of you will fail" speech, which to me is code for "I suck and have no clue what I am doing"
One assignment involved, as per the requirements the use of switch cases. Now, unless someo knew came about, Python does not have swio cases. Me and a couple of less newbie like students tried to point out that switch cases were non existent and that her switch case example was in Javascript, not python, curly braces and everything. She told us to make it work.
We thought that she meant using a function with a dictionary and we pass the key and shit, a simple way of emulating the switch case.
NOPE she took points and insisted that she meant the example. We continuously pointed out that her example was in JS and that at the time Python did not have switch cases. The nasty woman laughed out and said that she didn't expect anyone to finish the assignment with full points.
Out of 100 points everyone got a 70. No problem. Wrote a detailed letter to the dean. Dean replied and talked to her (copied her in the email because fuck you bitch) and my grade was pulled up to full mark.
Every other class I had with her she did not question me. Which was only another class on some other shit I can't remember.
Teachers are what make or break a degree program. What make or break the experience, going to college is putting too much faith on people. If you ask me, trade certification, rigorous training is the future of computer science, or any field really. Rather than spending 4+ years studying a whoooole lotta shit for someone to focus on one field and never leave it.17 -
Friend,
I signed a petition on Action Network urging Congress to reject the dangerous EARN IT Act and protect our online free speech.
The Eliminating Abusive and Rampant Neglect of Interactive Technologies Act of 2019 — also known as the EARN IT Act — gives Attorney General Willliam Barr the power to demand that tech companies kill important encryption programs. That puts us all at risk of government censorship, cybersecurity breaches, and human rights abuses.
Don’t let Congress chip away at your essential freedoms online. Sign our petition now to tell your lawmakers to reject the dangerous EARN IT Act: https://actionnetwork.org/petitions...
Thanks!5 -
To be able to code blind folded - literally. A few years back when the web speech synthesis apis came out and chat bots were raging I thought it would be cool to dictate pseudo code on the fly whole whiteboard the problem. When I investigated the easiest way to implement a mvp I was shocked to learn that there are BLIND programmers.
That alone is impressive and I went on to find that many have years of experience and add valuable contributions on a regular basis. Unfortunately I havnt had an opportunity to meet one yet but I am in utter awe of their accomplishment.
Should I get the chance I want to try and walk in their shoes, live a day without my eyes and learn to solve problems without spotting a pattern8 -
People/companies talking about ooh we want gender diversity we want more female software developers, IT professionals etc
You talk the talk, do you know how to walk the walk?? Do you know how to deal with female engineers?
I am a hardcore engineer worked and studied majorly with men for years. I lead, managed teams had my own company worked as a consultant for years.
Then I got into the IT industry as developer later. I was completely against the idea of being female would make any difference or you would be treated differently.
Finally I had my own enlightenment and stopped resisting that idea.
Some treatments made me think what are these guys doing? Don’t treat me like your sister. I am not your sister. Don’t see the femininity or looks. I am not a Merrilyn Monroe to say oooh you are great you know soo much. I am not paid for that act, I do my job! It’s same as yours mate.
Don’t underestimate me or try to preach me as if I am a cute little girl. Don’t show off and boost your ego next to other guys.
Now I regretfully I agree the ladies ranting about male dominance and getting different treatment in IT.
I am literally trying to avoid red nail polishes or red lipstick god forbid. Maybe I should put some fake beard and a belly, loose jeans with an energy drink in hand. Here comes the expert IT professional, already ticking a box.
Honestly you are not taken seriously most of the time. If you are a guy then they are all ears..And those guys talk about they want gender diversity blah blah
You feel like a ghost when you express your opinion. You are not taken into account even when you have a comment or suggestion.
Even humiliated by a guy giving me a speech about how to be a good developer next to a manager. Look buddy I am not a yesterday’s child. I am at your age. I haven’t come to this position by jumping around picking flowers in a field. If I was a man, would you dare saying those to me? There could be a street fight coming.
LinkedIn selfie takers with body show offs putting ooh I am an IT recruiter as a female I got into IT. You can do it too. (don’t get me wrong I respect that achievement that’s good) but those girls get thousands of likes and applauses, you are working in IT for years people say they are seeking for. Your technical post doesn’t even get 20 likes. Your encouraging comment on a guy’s post isn’t even acknowledged. You are not even taken into account. Am I a ghost or something?
Honestly I don’t understand.
What do you mean by gender diversity? What do you want here?
Leave this gender bullshit. Look at the knowledge you don’t even know what equality means. It’s not having even numbers of genders. It is respecting knowledge and hard work regardless. Listening and acknowledging without judgement. Looking beyond male, female or others
Companies that say we want to have more females, you don’t come and knock on my door either. You are already stating a difference there. Attract with indifference don’t come and tell me you are a female we want more females here.
I’m telling you this sector is not getting proper gender equality for 25 years. Talk is there but mentality is not yet there.
I am super pissed off and discouraged today. I don’t even get discouraged that easily. Now I understand some women in IT talking about insecurities. I am on the edge of having one, such a shame.
Don’t come at me now I would bite!
This is my generalisation yes. Exceptions apply and how good it would have been if those exceptions were dominant.33 -
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has been charged with 17 new counts under the Espionage Act for "unlawfully obtaining" and disclosing national defense information.
Massive attack on media freedom and free speech.7 -
A few weeks ago, I was joking with a friend with how PMs aren't able to understand how weird are dev time estimations and how much they love meetings.
He: "Well, we can make a meet to estimate the hours of doing that"
Me: "Or better: We can make a meet to estimate the meet of estimations"
Three days ago, we are with the PM on the weekly meeting. In a part of his lovely speech, he asks:
"What if we meet the Thursday to estimate the weekly meeting for estimations?"
Obviously we laughed instantly, and he 'forget' he spoke that.1 -
The secretaries at my university had to scan documents in the masters students lab. So one day, when the lab was empty save one of our secretaries, I remote into my machine and write a text to speech app and have the computer announce "Hello Selma, you really know how to push my buttons"
It took a while, but we are friends again :D -
Boss coding.
Boss not fan of tests at all.
"Hey I'm doing all of tests" - boss to me.
"Cool, are they automated? Or do you want me to implement'em?" - me to him
[long speech about why tests are irrelevant including "...once I tested, it is tested, we dont need to have automated tests."] *im teaching you because you dont know voice*
Please, help meeee5 -
That moment when you work the whole day to write a discord bot from scratch. No discord.py and other wrappers. Pure websockets, oauth2, https, json loads here and there. Understanding how the discord API works was a real challenge, but I did it :).
Most of my time was spent on discord's gateway connection and identification system.
The bot can renew its token, get all the guilds it is part of, all the channels and users of these guilds, send message and communicate with the gateway.
Tomorrow I will start connecting it to a voice channel and let it "speak". Thinking of combining text-to-speech with it, but I am not sure how well they are going to harmonize together.5 -
Okay you bastards ya got me: I fucking enjoy using Linux as my dev environment.
There, I SAID IT -
BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND IT MEANS THAT I STOPPED HATING IT
Oh the fucking love hate relationship to fucking Linux.
"Hey, ihatecomputers! How many hours per year did you spend fixing internet connectivity issues on Windows?" you ask. Well, close to fucking 0 you goddamned imbecile. But on Linux? I don't even want to talk about it.
And what about that time when I wanted to connect my bluetooth headphones so I could listen to music while studying? Well, by the time my headphones were connected to my machine (usually a one second operation) I had no time left for, you know, actual studying. Oh my god, it's the most trivial fucking thing.
Well, at least that particular issue got solved.
Unlike that fucking Ethernet connection which has been fucking out of commission since I started using fucking Linux. Wifi works just well enough to make it not worth pouring more time into troubleshooting that shit, but just barely though because my wifi IS FUCKING DOGSHIT ON LINUX
...
But fuck me if it isn't it the most lean thing ever! It's the goddamned opposite of bloated. So smooth and snappy. And free as in slurred speech, or whatever. It makes me happy. When I'm not seething with rage, that is.
Yeah I guess that's it, thanks for tuning in.
~ihatecomputers16 -
Wtf bs is this? Can't governments just stop trying to control the internet?
It's literally the closest thing we have to a free and fair society on the planet and that's with all the tracking and abuse of information going on. I think we need to start applying our minds to creating a decentralised network with p2p discovery routed through our phones if we want to keep any semblance of freedom of speech or privacy around for our kids. Routing traffic wouldnt use more than 50-100mb of ram and would probably use a lot less battery than Google does listening to our conversations or transmiting our location data so we wouldn't even notice. If only we could find a cable free decentalized way to get data across the ocean no one would be able to control it again, I doubt we would be able to shut it down either.9 -
YouTube just deleted my favorites playlist for supposed hate speech. My playlist had like 4k vids in it (none of them uploaded by me) and most of them were just stupid music videos or whatever, nothing even comes to mind that would qualify as hate speech, so because of this alleged needle in a 4k video haystack my playlist got deleted, YouTube did not even show any evidence of the supposed hate speech content within, my appeal was denied instantly. This is why I hate big tech- it is tyrannical and bullshit. It serves as an extra government nanny rather than appealing to its user base. This is because once a social platform grows so large that it has the monopoly on users, it no longer has to appeal to its users, it can then just focus on politics or other agendas. They can do this with confidence that they will not lose their users because they know that the modern internet narcissist will flock to any app that gives them the biggest audience, and since they have the monopoly on users they can rest assured the common narcissist will flock to their app (no matter how shitty or tyrannical) because they’ll get the most exposure there. This is the pattern every big social media platform falls into. At one point YouTube was cool….14
-
!rant
Coding is like having superpowers.
For instance: For school i have to read 8 books and I have limited time and motivation. What I did? I wrote a program that filters the text from a pdf or epub and converted it to spoken text with gtts (Google Text To Speech).
Now all I have to to is to listen to the story and relax..5 -
If you don't know how to explain about your software, but you want to be featured in Forbes (or other shitty sites) as quickly as possible, copy this:
I am proud that this software used high-tech technology and algorithms such as blockchain, AI (artificial intelligence), ANN (Artificial Neural Network), ML (machine learning), GAN (Generative Adversarial Network), CNN (Convolutional Neural Network), RNN (Recurrent Neural Network), DNN (Deep Neural Network), TA (text analysis), Adversarial Training, Sentiment Analysis, Entity Analysis, Syntatic Analysis, Entity Sentiment Analysis, Factor Analysis, SSML (Speech Synthesis Markup Language), SMT (Statistical Machine Translation), RBMT (Rule Based Machine Translation), Knowledge Discovery System, Decision Support System, Computational Intelligence, Fuzzy Logic, GA (Genetic Algorithm), EA (Evolutinary Algorithm), and CNTK (Computational Network Toolkit).
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣3 -
Best code performance incr. I made?
Many, many years ago our scaling strategy was to throw hardware at performance problems. Hardware consisted of dedicated web server and backing SQL server box, so each site instance had two servers (and data replication processes in place)
Two servers turned into 4, 4 to 8, 8 to around 16 (don't remember exactly what we ended up with). With Window's server and SQL Server licenses getting into the hundreds of thousands of dollars, the 'powers-that-be' were becoming very concerned with our IT budget. With our IT-VP and other web mgrs being hardware-centric, they simply shrugged and told the company that's just the way it is.
Taking it upon myself, started looking into utilizing web services, caching data (Microsoft's Velocity at the time), and a service that returned product data, the bottleneck for most of the performance issues. Description, price, simple stuff. Testing the scaling with our dev environment, single web server and single backing sql server, the service was able to handle 10x the traffic with much better performance.
Since the majority of the IT mgmt were hardware centric, they blew off the results saying my tests were contrived and my solution wouldn't work in 'the real world'. Not 100% wrong, I had no idea what would happen when real traffic would hit the site.
With our other hardware guys concerned the web hardware budget was tearing into everything else, they helped convince the 'powers-that-be' to give my idea a shot.
Fast forward a couple of months (lots of web code changes), early one morning we started slowly turning on the new framework (3 load balanced web service servers, 3 web servers, one sql server). 5 minutes...no issues, 10 minutes...no issues,an hour...everything is looking great. Then (A is a network admin)...
A: "Umm...guys...hardly any of the other web servers are being hit. The new servers are handling almost 100% of the traffic."
VP: "That can't be right. Something must be wrong with the load balancers. Rollback!"
A:"No, everything is fine. Load balancer is working and the performance spikes are coming from the old servers, not the new ones. Wow!, this is awesome!"
<Web manager 'Stacey'>
Stacey: "We probably still need to rollback. We'll need to do a full analysis to why the performance improved and apply it the current hardware setup."
A: "Page load times are now under 100 milliseconds from almost 3 seconds. Lets not rollback and see what happens."
Stacey:"I don't know, customers aren't used to such fast load times. They'll think something is wrong and go to a competitor. Rollback."
VP: "Agreed. We don't why this so fast. We'll need to replicate what is going on to the current architecture. Good try guys."
<later that day>
VP: "We've received hundreds of emails complementing us on the web site performance this morning and upset that the site suddenly slowed down again. CEO got wind of these emails and instructed us to move forward with the new framework."
After full implementation, we were able to scale back to only a few web servers and a single sql server, saving an initial $300,000 and a potential future savings of over $500,000. Budget analysis considering other factors, over the next 7 years, this would save the company over a million dollars.
At the semi-annual company wide meeting, our VP made a speech.
VP: "I'd like to thank everyone for this hard fought journey to get our web site up to industry standards for the benefit of our customers and stakeholders. Most of all, I'd like to thank Stacey for all her effort in designing and implementation of the scaling solution. Great job Stacy!"
<hands her a blank white envelope, hmmm...wonder what was in it?>
A few devs who sat in front of me turn around, network guys to the right, all look at me with puzzled looks with one mouth-ing "WTF?"9 -
I AM TIRED
warning: this rant is going to be full of negativity , CAPS, and cursing.
People always think and they always write that programming is an analytical profession. IF YOU CANNOT THINK IN AN ANALYTICAL WAY THIS JOB IS NOT FOR YOU! But the reality could not be farther from the truth.
A LOT of people in this field whether they're technical people or otherwise, just lack any kind of reasoning or "ANALYTICAL" thinking skills. If anything, a lot of of them are delusional and/or they just care about looking COOL. "Because programming is like getting paid to solve puzzles" *insert stupid retarded laugh here*.
A lot of devs out there just read a book or two and read a Medium article by another wannabe, now think they're hot shit. They know what they're doing. They're the gods of "clean" and "modular" design and all companies should be in AWE of their skills paralleled only by those of deities!
Everyone out there and their Neanderthal ancestor from start-up founders to developers think they're the next Google/Amazon/Facebook/*insert fancy shitty tech company*.
Founder? THEY WANT TO MOVE FAST AND GET TO MARKET FAST WITH STUPID DEADLINES! even if it's not necessary. Why? BECAUSE YOU INFERIOR DEVELOPER HAVE NOT READ THE STUPID HOT PILE OF GARBAGE I READ ONLINE BY THE POEPLE I BLINDLY COPY! "IF YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE FIRST VERSION OF YOU APP, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG" - someone at Amazon.
Well you delusional brainless piece of stupidity, YOU ARE NOT AMAZON. THE FIRST VERSION THAT THIS AMAZON FOUNDER IS EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS WHAT YOU JERK OFF TO AT NIGHT! IT IS WHAT YOU DREAM ABOUT HAVING!
And oh let's not forget the tech stacks that make absolutely no fucking sense and are just a pile of glue and abstraction levels on top of abstraction levels that are being used everywhere. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOES IT THAT WAY DUH!! And when Google (or any other fancy shit company) changes it, the old shitty tech stack that by some miracle you got to work and everyone is writing in, is now all of a sudden OBSOLETE! IT IS OLD. NO ONE IS WRITING SHIT IN THAT ANYMORE!
And oh my god do I get a PTSD every time I hear a stupid fucker saying shit like "clean architecture" "clean shit" "best practice". Because I have yet to see someone whose sentences HAVE TO HAVE one of these words in them, that actually writes anything decent. They say this shit because of some garbage article they read online and in reality when you look at their code it is hot heap of horseshit after eating something rancid. NOTHING IS CLEAN ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS DONE RIGHT. AND OH GOD IF THAT PERSON WAS YOUR TECH MANAGER AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM RUNNING THEIR SHITHOLE ABOUT HOW YOUR SIMPLE CODE IS "NOT CLEAN". And when you think that there might be a valid reason to why they're doing things that way, you get an answer of someone in an interview who's been asked about something they don't know, but they're trying to BS their way to sounding smart and knowledgable. 0 logic 0 reason 0 brain.
Let me give you a couple of examples from my unfortunate encounters in the land of the delusional.
I was working at this start up which is fairly successful and there was this guy responsible for developing the front-end of their website using ReactJS and they're using Redux (WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO ELIMINATE PASSING ATTRIBUTES FOR THE PURPOSE OF PASSING THEM DOWN THE COMPONENT HIERARCHY AGIAN). This guy kept ranting about their quality and their shit every single time we had a conversation about the code while I was getting to know everything. Also keep in mind he was the one who decided to use Redux. Low and behold there was this component which has THIRTY MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN PROPERTIES WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS BE PASSED DOWN AGAIN LIKE 3 TO 4 TIMES!.
This stupid shit kept telling me to write code in a "functional" style. AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING IS USING MAP, FILTER, REDUCE! And says shit like "WE DONT NEED UNIT TESTS BECAUSE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING HAS NO ERRORS!" Later on I found that he read a book about functional programming in JS and now he fucking thinks he knows what functional programming is! Oh I forgot to mention that the body of his "maps" is like 70 fucking lines of code!
Another fin-tech company I worked at had a quote from Machiavelli's The Prince on EACH FUCKING DESK:
"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."
MOTHERFUCKER! NEW ORDER OF THINGS? THERE 10 OTHER COMPANIES DOING THE SAME SHIT ALREADY!
And the one that got on my nerves as a space lover. Is a quote from Kennedy's speech about going to the moon in the 60s "We choose to go to the moon and do the hard things ..."
YOU FUCKING DELUSIONAL CUNT! YOU THINK BUILDING YOUR SHITTY COPY PASTED START UP IS COMPARABLE TO GOING TO THE MOON IN THE 60S?
I am just tired of all those fuckers.13 -
1. Remove chairs and tables.
2. Limit everyone to two minutes speech time.
3. When everybody got used to stand-up meetings, get down and plank.
Everybody will have a very strong interest in a quick and productive end to any plank-down meeting. 😁4 -
I make a presentation to explain to the boss why we had to tweak around the requirements in order to keep backwards compatibility and stuff. I take 15 minutes explaining how our system currently works and how these requirements would change it, etc etc.
"So... is this workflow okay for our customers?"
They stared into the presentation slide for a good minute.
"I think we should align this row over here with that square over there."
"Oh don't worry this is a demo. But do you think our customers will still be okay with these changes?"
"Yeah, but these two elements are unalligned and they look pretty bad."
I'm starting to think that fancy speech can deter people from questioning or complaining to you. I'm pretty sure they don't know their own product as well as I know it.3 -
I've actually had mostly good instructors for CS. Or at least mediocre. The worst teacher I had was actually my Algebra II teacher in high school. She taught by reading, word for word, from our textbook. She would copy the example problems from that chapter onto the whiteboard. And then give us the rest of class to work on homework. She was basically a Text-to-Speech program for our textbook.
We all joked that she was drunk and the one locked cabinet in her classroom contained liquor. A year after I had her class she was fired. For drinking on the job. The joke turned out to be 100% true and they actually did find alcohol in the locked cabinet. -
Visual Studio Code and the Edge browser , so I'm finally trying a new browser and an IDE after years and I can't begin to explain how good of a job M$ has done on these software ... they deserve some applause atleast for now , their browser is pretty darn fast and has a dark theme! The IDE was exactly what I dream of in my sleep (figure of speech) .
Simply amazing , claps to them unless they have some hidden monetization scheme that will come forth over time .9 -
A free, open source, modular (plugin based) home automation control center.
Ultimate goal is to support the core / apis and other devs code the drivers for the 'IoT' devices.
Also integratable with all the speech assistants like Amazon Echo, Google Assistant, Cortana etc.
Not that money dependent but very time consuming project.
Im starting in a week tho!4 -
I was talking to someone at the grocery store and as they walked away, I said "Have a nice!" And instantly regret. Fucking speech problems. Have a nice... Day? Night? What? Stupid brain/mouth slurring my speech.
Oh, and the social awkwardness helps I guess...4 -
A colleague of mine worked 1,5 day solving a programming challenge in our project. Today I thought of another possibility, wrote it in half an hour, and showed it.
I got a speech about teamwork and that I should learn it. I feel bad about it, but should I?3 -
I have been working for my current employer about 3 years now. When I first got to work I was asked by another employee to work on an editor for certain types of files. We will call this employee Ed. Because his name is Ed.
Ed is a verifiable genius, and a genuinely great guy to work with. He is amazing with hardware and math. Ed has a need, or shall I say fetish. He wants an editor for some our proprietary files called "Settings files". They are just xml. Nothing special.
However, I have always had other priorities. We actually had a tense moment when I had to tell Ed my boss doesn't want me to work on the editor. I had started looking into working on the editor when my boss said stop working on this file. So since then it had become a running joke between Ed and myself. Well, I think it is funny, Ed smiles, but I know he wants this editor bad. Our boss even suggested at one time that Ed write this editor. He looked into it, but "other priorities" trumped this effort.
Okay, so now it has been 3 years and we still don't have this editor. Then I had an epiphany. Since Ed wants this editor I found an idea for the name of this program. "Settings Editor" is just too mundane. I now think it should be called: "Mr. Edit". I also found that the library we use for most of our development has text to speech built in. So when the program starts I can have it say: "Hello, I am Mr. Edit, the talking Settings Editor". I have never wanted to write this program so badly before. Muahahahahaha!5 -
Short: Still supported after 10 years
First Chromebook sent to testers.
Long: Lost my voice recently so need to use text to speech on my phone but to many typos so slow...
If only I had a keyboard... Wait a laptop... Hm... Chromebook...
Looks for cheapest on Amazon
But go.... Wait I already have one.... That I installed Ubuntu on and then somehow corrupted.
And never got around to fixing it because didn't really need it... Or have a 8gb USB stick around at the time.
Well now I saved $100 assuming the battery still works too6 -
So, there was an art student yesterday at my dorm complaining about free speech etc. She told me that they where trying to bring the schools proxy down.
I was pretty impressed because it's an art student!
She then proceeded to tell me she had downloaded kali linux and was learning html...3 -
Yes, I have got one to tell. I went to a hackathon where they started the hackathon with a spiritual speech and prayer. They didn't provide any WiFi, food, etc.
There was a canteen in the campus, which got closed in the evening by 7 o clock. The timings were not announced before so we worked whole night with empty stomach. Did I mention one was not allow to go outside the campus during the hackathon? And yes one was not allowed to order food from outside.4 -
- Two months ago I joined this company and did literally nothing ever since. For that I would like to thank my line manager and his entire branch for being an amazingly incompetent colleagues, and for mumbling "that's how the client works" every time I raised the same damn problem. Also, let's not forget my HR manager and interviewer, who apparently have no connection whatsoever with real situation of company's projects. And last but not least this remarkably hierarchical workplace where you can't throw a rock without hitting a cocksure higher-up.
Y'all fucks deserve some serious brain readjustment.7 -
I am going to post cryptic ass shit on y'alls shit that gives over a fake sense of me knowing what I am talking about in terms of faking my credentials from working on big companies and having tons of knowledge of software development in an effort to convince you all in of my credentials to get massive upvotes by making you all think I am intellectually and technologically superior to you in multiple senses! I will use a thesaurus for this btw! not my general day to day speech! after all, it will give my fake ideals of credibility more success and acceptance! remember! i worked for all companies starving kids in different parts of the world did! nothing but my word for it!
Some people really need to consider the shit they read online from people that have been caught bullshitting all the time.
9/10 your shit is good enough, stop letting phonies make you feel inadecuate over their supposed success in this works ffs16 -
Going to give a keynote speech in a convention in Karlsruhe, Germany next week. I'm excited.
Any recommendations from local devRanters?14 -
Today I had to give the privacy speech to my family as to why I don't want to use WhatsApp (where my family has a group discussion). It was pretty difficult in the beginning because they used a lot of the "You shouldn't care if you have nothing to hide." rethoric.
But in the end most of them understood my point of view, and I even got my aunt to install Signal to try it out. I have hope that some day all of our family discussions will be completely private.11 -
Is it just me or the patterns of speech of some people get increasingly more annoying when you realize they speak with callbacks.
For example:
Person1: "Oh, I gotta tell you about the color of my new bike"
Me: "Nice, so what did you decide?"
Person2: "I was undecided about which color to select because of what happened to Andrew, Andrew told his his girlfriend, which by the way got recently pregnant, I can't believe she is expecting! She looks so young. Do you know how old is she?"
Me: "No, but she does look young"
Person2: "Yeah, I wish I looked that young. I have been trying to get in shape again but I have been so busy lately. My boss has been giving me so many assignments lately and I have been having to neglect my dog which is a shame cause he is such a good doggo. The other day we went to the park and someone left the door open and he didn't chase the cars. Do you remember when he was a puppy and he kept pulling the leash trying to chase the cars?"
Me: "Yeah, I remember being scared of him getting run over by a car. I am glad he isn't doing that anymore"
Person2: "Yeah, when I was 15 years old I had a dog that died just like that, it was so traumatic. His name was Jack and he was so feisty. As a matter of fact most small dogs I have seen are feisty."
...
And so on. In the back on my mind I have to keep track of some unanswered questions like: What happened to Andrew? What color is the bike? And the conversation keeps getting derailed. It's exhausting and it feels just like if I was reading code with a lot of callbacks.7 -
Startup-ing 101, from Fitbit:
- spy on users
- sell data
- cut production costs
- mutilate people's bodies, leaving burn scars that will never heal
- announce the recall, get PR, and make the refund process impossibly convoluted
- never give actual refunds
- claim that yes, fitbit catches fire, but only the old discontinued device, just to mess with search results and make the actual info (that all devices catch fire) hard to find
- try hard to obtain the devices in question, so people who suffered have no evidence
- give bogus word salad replies to the press
This is what one of the people burned has to say:
"I do not have feeling in parts of my wrist due to nerve damage and I will have a large scar that will be with me the rest of my life. This was a traumatic experience and I hope no one else has to go through it. So, if you own a Fitbit, please reconsider using it."
Ladies and gentlemen, cringefest starts. One of fitbit replies:
"Fitbit products are designed and produced in accordance with strict standards and undergo extensive internal and external testing to ensure the safety of our users. Based on our internal and independent third party testing and analysis, we do not believe this type of injury could occur from normal use. We are committed to conducting a full investigation. With Google's resources and global platform, Fitbit will be able to accelerate innovation in the wearables category, scale faster, and make health even more accessible to everyone. I could not be more excited for what lies ahead".
In the future, corporate speech will be autogenerated.
(if you wear fitbit, just be aware of this.)14 -
!dev
You know what? I've had it with this fucking hopped up country, I've been out the army less than a year and, full disclosure, I knew it was bad but what in the skullfuckery is wrong with the U.K?
Absolute retards everywhere, with some of THE MOST piggish, soul destroying and suicide mongering leaders I have ever met (that's a helluva achievement after 5 years in the army).
The amount of illegal immigrants that don't have a word of English or single thing to give this country, other than paediphilia, rape, knives, debt, and idiocy.
Yet the government is anally raping every single British citizen to give every single immigrant better living conditions than 90% of people who are here legally.
The woke-ism that permeates EVERYTHING is beyond a joke now too. When the hell did basic life become so convoluted, "offensive" and "scary" that primary schools have drag queens coming in to read, sex ed classes that teach shit like sex changes, transitioning, bending to everyone's will, and to be punished for asking questions?
It feels like there's a crushing weight on my chest 24/7 and I can't even speak about it because now free speech can get you demonized , ostracized, and even locked up!
It's okay though, you won't be locked up with any rapists, paedophiles, thieves, or SA's because they're all back on the streets to make space for anyone who dares have a voice.
Every time I talk to people now I feel violent and full of rage. Some of the time it's not even their fault, I'm just being chipped away at. CONSTANTLY.
I'm genuinely scared I'm going to lose my shit and break someone's neck, or my own.
DISCLAIMER: I know other countries have issues waaaay outweighing the UK's, and I'm not minifying them.
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: as is the way, someone is most likely going to be offended by this post. Scroll the fuck on if that's the case. I'm human too and I need to vent. And this feels like the last safe space I can.50 -
This is the funniest fucking IT meme I’ve ever seen. It’s on par with that meme where anon gets hired to Pulseaudio, and the whole dialog is just empty speech bubbles2
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developer makes a "missed-a-semicolon"-kind of mistake that brings your non-production infrastructure down.
manager goes crazy. rallies the whole team into a meeting to find "whom to hold accountable for this stupid mistake" ( read : whom should I blame? ).
spend 1-hour to investigate the problem. send out another developer to fix the problem.
... continue digging ...
( with every step in the software development lifecycle handbook; the only step missing was to pull the handbook itself out )
finds that the developer followed the development process well ( no hoops jumped ).
the error was missed during the code review because the reviewer didn't actually "review" the code, but reported that they had "reviewed and merged" the code
get asked why we're all spending time trying to fix a problem that occurred in a non-production environment. apparently, now it is about figuring out the root cause so that it doesn't happen in production.
we're ALL now staring at the SAME pull request. now the manager is suddenly more mad because the developer used brackets to indicate the pseudo-path where the change occurred.
"WHY WOULD YOU WASTE 30-SECONDS PUTTING ALL THOSE BRACES? YOU'RE ALREADY ON A BRANCH!"
PS : the reason I didn't quote any of the manager's words until the end was because they were screaming all along, so, I'd have to type in ALL CAPS-case. I'm a CAPS-case-hater by-default ( except for the singular use of "I" ( eye; indicating myself ) )
WTF? I mean, walk your temper off first ( I don't mean literally, right now; for now, consider it a figure of speech. I wish I could ask you to do it literally; but no, I'm not that much of a sadist just yet ). Then come back and decide what you actually want to be pissed about. Then think more; about whether you want to kill everyone else's productivity by rallying the entire team ( OK, I'm exaggerating, it's a small team of 4 people; excluding the manager ) to look at an issue that happened in a non-production environment.
At the end of the week, you're still going to come back and say we're behind schedule because we didn't get any work done.
Well, here's 4 hours of our time consumed away by you.
This manager also has a habit of saying, "getting on X's case". Even if it is a discussion ( and not a debate ). What is that supposed to mean? Did X commit such a grave crime that they need to be condemned to hell?
I miss my old organization where there was a strict no-blame policy. Their strategy was, "OK, we have an issue, let's fix it and move on."
I've gotten involved ( not caused it ) in even bigger issues ( like an almost-data-breach ) and nobody ever pointed a finger at another person.
Even though we all knew who caused the issue. Some even went beyond and defended the person. Like, "Them. No, that's not possible. They won't do such dumb mistakes. They're very thorough with their work."
No one even talked about the person behind their back either ( at least I wasn't involved in any such conversation ). Even later, after the whole issue had settled down. I don't think people brought it up later either ( though it was kind of a hush-hush need-to-know event )
Now I realize the other unsaid-advantage of the no-blame policy. You don't lose 4 hours of your so-called "quarantine productivity". We're already short on productivity. Please don't add anymore. 🙏11 -
I was waiting in the lobby of a recuiting place, hearing all their speeches. All super generic stuff, like "I looked at your resume and I have a bunch of cutting edge opportunities in the pipeline that are going fast, which I think you are a perfect fit for!" Which I don't argue is always invalid, just after hearing the same copy and paste speech, you start to wonder.
I even saw a few stand up and wave their hands around while trying to make a meh position sound like the latest golden egg.
I left with a feeling that recuiters would be a great inspiration for a "Wolf of Wall street" styled movie.1 -
All I'm saying is that if we want speech completely locked down on all social media platforms, simply hire the StackOverflow mods and the problem is solved. Nobody will be able to post anything unless the mods believe it's worthwhile for everyone to read and respond to.
That's it. That's the rant.4 -
I am sitting at Starbucks trying to focus and finish some posts for my side project. The lady at the next table has been loudly 😁talking about her Disney trip in excruciating detail. Do we really have to know she will store her bagel and tuna fish in the hotel room fridge - really!
30 minutes in and she is just getting to the hotel - yikes 😫
No other seats open. I am trapped. Project deliverable delay - reason loud lady.
I was going to do this as a speech to text post but too nice to do that. HELP!2 -
Me and tech coworker opens office front door. Another coworker starts ranting how he accidentally hit som key combo and started some speech synthesis feature in Windows. Me and tech coworker both declared we had never heard of that feature before.
Ten minutes goes by, then muggle coworker comes by asking for help to turn it off. Tech coworker Googles solution in literally 6 seconds on the phone without even stopping the conversation we had going on when muggle interrupted.
How is it that muggles haven't found out that the Internet contains stuff?! And that it's searchable!!
Gaaaahhh -
When is the point where you aren't allowed to touch your own AI anymore?
When it's capable of speech?
When it shows emotions?
When it becomes self aware?
When does it stop being file deletion and start becoming murder?5 -
Why can't people be more objective on demands?
These people can't fucking grasp the concept of "ask for something" NOOO they have to fucking make an endless black hole stupid speech to tell you to "do x"!!!!
FUCK YOU WHO DO THAT!!
YOU HAVE AN ASSHOLE WHERE SHOULD BE YOUR MOUTH! -
I was suggested as a kid to “avoid using too much “uh”s and “umm”s while speaking, especially if giving a speech. It sounds bad.” And I agree.
But now, I see, that people generally don’t fucking care about how they speak. Almost every video on the internet (especially the teaching videos) is full of bloody “uh”s and “umm”s.
It’s okay once or twice, if someone genuinely forgets about something. But why the fuck is it becoming part of people’s way of speaking?
Ruins the whole experience of a video. Even if the video’s contents are actually good.
Pause if you want to, but stop the fucking moaning!7 -
Kotlin and mother tongue
In my mother tongue (my first language which is Kikuyu) we do not have the letter L in our alphabet thus meaning L and R to us is similar thus pronounced the same.
Then Kotlin makes life hard for devs who got a mother influence in their speech from my tribe. Was having a talk with fellow dev who is my tribe mate and we had an issue agreeing between val and var hehe.
We had to write it down to tell which is which.
Thankyou Kotlin for making my day.6 -
about 2 weeks ago my mom's friend's family visit our house. one moment they introduce their brilliant son going to take Computer Science Major, and they didn't understand why, and apparently they are some kind of ignorant family. So my role here are to advertise and promote the world of CS (since i know their son are good at programming). one moment i am diving to deep into my own speech, i am like :
"I believe you guys using facebook, and Whatsapp all the time **give a smirk and sarcastic look* (which they actually did), that is our work there. and maybe you (my mom's friend) love to play candy crush with my mom, yes that is also our work, and we got a lot of money from you buying the candy to unlock the hard level (the microtransaction thing) MUAHAHAHAHA !" ---
and yes i am laughing like a monster in a film. and suddenly that becoming the most awkward thing i ever had.
and i don't know should i feel bad or not introducing CS like that.3 -
My Final Year Project used robotics, speech recognition, body mapping and it was possibly the coolest thing I've ever done. I did it to be balls out ambitious as I wanted an impressive project to help me get a job...4
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Watching all the StarWars for the first time (to fill in the gaps in my cultural knowledge).
I think Yoda may have had some syncronization issues -- some race conditions in his speech I noticed have.5 -
Amazon has a new patent now "Keyword Determinations from Voice Data", which based on speech around a device, can filter out what you like/prefer/.. which could be used for displaying or fuel ads, so basically what everybody implied the facebook app does, but as a patent2
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Peeve of the week: Youtube videos with robot voices (text-to-speech).
Youtube needs detection and a filter option to let users remove those vids from search results. -
I am feeling little fucked up.
I talked to one of the female employees from my new company, I'll be joining next month.
She asked manager to hire a girl in the team, I know she casually asked but after knowing this, I know my interviews were surprisingly easy, I mean I know already that no one asked me to optimize anything... did the fucking hired me for diversity, pay is good, people are good, work is good but seriously if I'm getting hired for the fucking diversity my manager is going to have a good speech from me and I'll move from his team for sure.17 -
What's it like being part of the FOSS community?
Well here's the average comment section on everything related to FOSS anything...
"Why would you use that, I use XYZ and it's so much better"
"Have you tried ditching that proprietary shit and go in favour with X because it's built by developers for developers"
Guys... I get it, but have you ever considered that the whole point of FOSS is freedom? So you know, freedom of speech, choice and opinion? -
“An engineer?!… An open, shining mind, easy and inoffensive humour, this wide reach, they’re switching from one engineering realm to another, and really, from tech problems to society, then — to art. Those manners, that fine taste, good speech, coherent and free of filler words. One engineer is also a musician, another one — an artist, but all of them have those smart eyes…”
INCREASE SALES
this text is not for managers like you.6 -
Every Monday I am privileged to wake up 1. 5 hours earlier and listen to executives talk about what meetings they had with potential customers and what news about ongoing agreements with other potential customers (which have been in the pipeline for 1 year or more sometimes)
Why is this necessary?? There has been virtually no progress on any of the topics discussed. At least nothing that concerns us devs.
Instead we get to wake up earlier, waste 1 hour, and get bored listening to what essentially seems like a sales speech while convince the employees the company is not spinning its tires while stuck in the mud.3 -
The more I'm on here the more I remember all the shit I have had to deal with in the past.
Anyway, lets rant! I just moved cities after college to be closer to my family, I didnt have any work lined up at that stage but started job hunting the moment I was settled in, I did some freelance for smaller companies to stay afloat.
Eventually I got a job at this agency startup where "SEO" was there main focus, still very inexperienced they put me on frontend and data capturing but will teach me how to code using their systems in due time. At this stage I was getting paid minimum wage, but I was doing minimum work and it wasnt that bad.
A new investor bought 49% of the company and immediately moved into the office space to focus more on marketing (He was one of those scaly marketing guys that will sell you babies if he could get his hands on enough to make a profit).
This is where everything starts going to shit. He hires a bunch of "SEO Gurus", fills up the small office with people like sardines squished together. Development was still our main money maker at this stage, so there where 3 new more senior developers at this stage and I started learning a lot really fast.
Here are some of the issues we had to deal with:
1. Incentives - Great more money, haha! No, No, you where 5 minutes late so you only get half of the promised amount.
2. For every minute you are late we will deduct it from you paycheck (Did I mention I was getting paid minimum wage).
3. If you take a smoke break we will dock it from your pay.
4. Free gym membership to the gym downstairs, but you can only go once a week during your lunch.
5. No pay raises if you cant prove your worth on paper.
He on purposely made up shitty rules and regulations to keep us down and make as much profit as he could.
Here are some shitty stuff he has done:
1. We arent getting a 13th check this year because the company didnt make a big profit - while standing next to his brand new BMW.
2. Made changes over FTP on clients work because we where too slow to get to it, than blames me for it because its broken the next day and wants to give me a written warning for not resolving the issue Immediately. They went as far as wanting to fire me for this, gave me 1 day notice for meeting and that I can bring a lawyer to represent me (1 day notice is illegal, you need 5 days where I am from), so I brought a lawyer since my mom was a lawyer. They freaked the fuck out and started harassing me about this a week later.
3. Would have meetings all the time about how much money the company is making, but wont be raising our pay since no one has proven they are worth it yet.
4. Would full on yell at employees infront of the entire office if they accidentally made an mistake on a clients project.
One one occasion I took a week off for holiday, my coworker contacted me to ask a question and I answered that I will handle it when I am back the following week. Withing 2 hours my other boss phones me in a rage, "he is coming to fetch the company laptop from my house in 5 minutes, he will let me know when he arrives. Gives me no time to talk at all and hangs up - I have figured out what has happened by now so when he showed up he has this long speech about abandonment, and trust and loyalty to the company. So I pass him my laptop once he shut up and said: "You do know I am on holiday leave which you approved, right?", he goes even more silent and passes me back my laptop without saying anything, and drives off.
While the above was happening Douche manager back at the office has a rage as well and calls the whole office (25 people) to a meeting talking about how I abandoned the company and how disgraceful that is.
Those are the shitty experiences I can remember, there where many more like this. All of the above eventually led to me going into a deep depression and having panic attacks weekly, from being overworked or scared to step out of line. Its also the reason I almost stopped coding forever at that stage. I worked there for 2.5 years with the abuse.
I left 2 weeks after the last shit show, I am ok now and have my anxiety and depression well under control if not almost gone completely.
Ran into Douche Manager a few months ago after 9 years, the company got bought out and the first person they fired was him. LOL! He now has his own agency and is looking for Developers (They are hard to find he says), little does he know I spread his name far and wide to all and every Dev I knew and didnt know to avoid working for him at all costs. Seems like word of mouth still works in this digital age.
Thanks for reading this far!5 -
Full text of the letter: Julian Assange, Chelsea Manning and Edward Snowden nominated for the 2020 Nobel Peace Prize 👇🙌
https://defend.wikileaks.org/wp-con... -
So yesterday I discussed how I am using speech to text to do approximately 50% of my rants. I am now doing a growing percentage of my outlook emails by voice as the human-computer voice interaction is pleasing and very natural. I have even named my iPhone 'little jumpshot' today.
Today I experimented with text to speech so that my rants are automatically read back to me before I send them. Some decent results.
In settings - general - accessibility you will find voice over (not recommended - be careful). Below that is Speech - speak selection or speak screen options.
Speak selection allows you to highlight text to be spoken. Too much human interaction for my purposes of walking hopefully not tripping be looking down. Using up my nine lives 😐
Below voiceover is - Speak screen - which allows you to pull down the screen with two fingers to speak what is on the screen. This will read the rant or of there are multiple rants on the screen it will read those as well.
It works but it will take a bit of getting used to. It also requires a few clicks here and there.
My goal is to interact with devRant fluidly 100% by voice. Just talking to 'little jumpshot' and him creating and posting all of my rants and reading all the other rants developers post.
For a few days experimenting I am satisfied with the progress but there is a long way to go.
Hopefully, in the end, this may help some people. Any ideas are very welcome.4 -
I setup stable diffusion today. Still figuring it out but I'm like an artist now right? Right?
Next step is figuring out how to train models.
Then I have to make some samples of various words in spectrogram form for training.
After that we'll see if stable diffusion can reconstruct phonemes.
I'll train using both my voice and a couple others, and apply them as styles.
And then finally, I can accomplish my lifes goal.
To have the voice of morgan freeman with me at all times, everywhere I go.5 -
Being lazy taught me more about (code) automation that years of study ever did.
“Ugh! Updating translations is boring, why do I have to do this manually?”
“Damn I really hate having to remember endpoints”
“Oh, come on! Its the third time I initialise this the same way!”
I’d love to say this is a motivational speech or something but no, im just lazy lol2 -
I wonder if they have speech to text for code.
Var cars equals left bracket quote Saab quote comma quote Volvo quote comma quote BMW quote right bracket semi-colon4 -
Fuck, I'll always be a noob. Knowing next to nothing about software development, hacking, exploits - just anything.
Felt a bit proud to had reached the level "hacker" on hack the box. Was fun solving stego, crypto and reversing challenges, diving into assembly the first time. Felt cool stepping through a disassemblied executable with radare, and understanding what a NOP slide is...
However all the illusion crumbled down, when I watched this CCC talk on OpenBSD security, where the speaker was underwhelmed with one of OpenBSD mitigations, where they tried to disallow them: "NOP slides?! Srly? No one is using that anymore. Just look at current exploits."
I felt so stupid, which I probably am. Will never catch up with those guys.
But whatever. In the end we all know nothing. We have no clue, but some are more apt in disguising it behind big speech.
(really like this German song: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Those lines always give me a chuckle:
"Man has no idea.
The house has no idea.
The tree has no idea.
The fawn has no idea.
The squid has no idea.
The tapir knows, but doesn't tell us.")3 -
Check in, check out, punch in punch, out, wax on (my balls), wax off. Do your duty. Be a good citizen. Work overtime. Conserve the environment: buy a tesla that runs on afghan lithium conflict minerals. Post your life to facebook. Get married. Have exactly 2.5 kids.
Use jquery. Use knockout. Use react. Use vue. Use svlete. Use heroin. Used needles. Used people. Used toilet paper. Toilet paper apocalypse. Social trends. Be a good citizen.
Watch tv. Watch nightly news. CNN says. Fox news says. Hey, did you read this article by important funny guy on tv? American taliban. Scary. Be afraid. Hey did you read this article on cute puppies? Funny! Did you see this meme? What a funny meme! HAHAHA. Do we need prisons for dissidents? Do we need to release all the prisoners in federal prison? Should we round up people who dont follow health authorities? Science says. Science is wrong. Science is right. Man in robe agrees with me. Man in robe disagrees with me. You're evil. These people are bad. Is doing bad always wrong? Should we tolerate intolerance? Its time to stop tolerating intolerance. Be an individual, like everyone else. Be you. Be the best you that you can be. Individualism. But we're all in this together. We're all different and unique. But we're all the same. Love each other. Love humanity. But not these guys over here. Punch a nazi. Punch a commie. Isn't it time we punched a nazi? Isn't it time we had socialism? Isn't it time the old get out of the way for the young? Why are the old hateful? Why do they horde all the money? Do we need rent controls? We need rent controls. Its time for rent controls. I think I believe what others believe. Believe different. Think different. Apple. An apple a day keeps the windows away. Open windows, a breathe of fresh air. Is climate change real? We need to have a national conversation about climate change! The world is freezing. The world is flooding. We're all gonna drown. The world is overpopulated. We need to talk about overpopulation. People who have too many kids are polluting the world. America doesnt have enough kids! Is it time to bring in more immigrants to have more kids? Who will work the fields? Thats racist. Is racism an epidemic? Is white flight an epidemic? Lets talk about epidemics. Lets have a conversation about mandatory vaccination. Lets have a national conversation about mandatory pandemics. I mean, vaccinations. Lets change the world. Trust the science. Don't trust the science. Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu I'm loving it. Love who you are. Live love laugh. If you don't love me at my best, then you can't handle me at my worst. People who disagree with [current year] are the worst. Is it time to regulate speech? Its time to regulate speech. Should there be laws against hatespeech. I think there should be laws against hatespeech. People who upset me should go to jail. Its current year. Think big. Think outside the bun. Have it your way. All the time, always. All for freedom, freedom for all. Because this is america, and current year. I like to work hard. But you have to remember to play hard too. Work hard. Play hard. With a childlike sense of wonder. Be you. Belong anywhere. Just do it. Challenge Everything. Because you're worth it. Save money...live better...have an abortion. You're in good hands. Democracy dies in darkness. Is it time to regulate hatespeech. Politician in current year is hurting our democracy. War is a racket. We need to liberate afghanistan. Why are we bombing afghanistan? Its there culture. They're oppressing people! Don't criticize anyones culture. Be kind. Rewind. Go further. Lets go places. Because Impossible is Nothing.
Lets change the world. I'm a smart passionate funny guy with a childlike sense of wonder and play. You ever want to travel? I want to travel. See the world. Eat new food. Eat. Love. Pray. Eat love. kill. Is meat murder? I think meat is murder. Go vegan. Go home. Order out. Support your local economy. Think global, act local. I'm a good corporate citizen. Be the change you want to see. Did you hear about this local brewery? Do you like craft beer? Hey try this new IPA. I shared it on twitter. Twitter is a very important part of my life. I think what other people say matters, and them reading what I think matters. What I ate for lunch matters. Hey what did you eat for lunch? I LOVE FOOD. You want to order door dash. There new commercial is amazing. Commercials are SO FUNNY. Hey did you see this meme of this commercial? I shared it on tiktok. Heres a funny dance. Watch these nurses dance. I wish I could dance like that. They're so overworked. So brave. Our hospitals are overflowing. People are dying. Hey did you see this new dance trend on tiktok? I like tiktok. I think its a very important part of life to share your life with others. Nurses are dying. Look at this image of hospitals. Scared. Very scary. Very bad. Bad and scary. Big thoughts! Thoughts and prayers!
Because Yes we can!
Beep boop.7 -
So I graduate on May 4th... If no one ends their speech with "My the force be with you" I'm going to be freaking pissed6
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Stack Overflow is a great resource for all sorts of programming hints and tips, information and...sadly, desinformation. But if you want to comment on something someone's said you need 50 reputation points. How to achieve that when you need rep points to do anything that could earn you rep points? It's a catch 22 for newcomers that are like totally excluded from any discussions at SO which is more sort of a read-only community to me. This is where devRant shines. Anyone can rant about anything and comment on anyone's rant. Some rants and comments are stupid, and some are great. In the end of the day, freedom of speech is a great thing.9
-
When Google Engineers Made a Speech Synthesis Program, they hadn't figured out a name until:
"What should we name our advanced speech synthesis program"
"Hey bob what are going to order for lunch today"
"Tacos."
"What was that weird movie with the laser bikes that make light walls"
"Tron."
"Bob you're a genius" -
Swag idea: Rubber ducks with the DevRant face on them instead of a ducks face. No beak. Just a freaky slash where the beak should be. 👍🏻
The whole duck can even be the speech bubble orange!
I don't know about anyone else but I'd buy the shit out of this!4 -
Suggestions for a good speech to text program for someone who mumbles and talks too fast?
I sliced my thumb while washing a knife and typing on my computer without it is getting annoying3 -
When the project lead gave a half hour speech for why our shitty web page was similar to Elon Musk’s rocket and how we needed to work extra to get it off the ground, to justify an extra 3 months of unpaid weekend work at 10 hours a day, after already getting 6 months of unpaid weekend work when I was a junior dev.
-
Quite amazingly, yes!
as a matter of fact one of my parents is actually also in information technology or related field so there are very much aware of how in demand the job is and how difficult it is as well and the best part is a lot of my engineering friends are also switching to computer science and just because it is the better choice of because of how over saturated the engineering field is so yeah i think i have a better career choice than most of my peers
(PS: I used Speech to text here so forgive the grammar errors)1 -
So I decided to run mozilla deep speech against some of my local language dataset using transfer learning from existing english model.
I adjusted alphabet and begin the learning.
I have pc with gtx1080 laying around so I utilized that but I recommend to use at least newest rtx 3080 to not waste time ( you can read about how much time it took below ).
Waited for 3 days and error goes to about ~30 so I switched the dataset and error went to about ~1 after a week.
Yeah I waited whole got damn week cause I don’t use this computer daily.
So I picked some audio from youtube to translate speech to text and it works a little. It’s not a masterpiece and I didn’t tested it extensively also didn’t fine tuned it but it works as I expected. It recognizes some words perfectly, other recognize partially, other don’t recognize.
I stopped test at this point as I don’t have any business use or plans for this but probably I’m one of the couple of companies / people right now who have my native language speech to text machine learning model.
I was doing transfer learning for the first time, also first time training from audio and waiting for results for such long time. I can say I’m now convinced that ML is something big.
To sum up, probably with right amount of money and time - about 1-3 months you can make decent speech to text software at home that will work good with your accent and native language. -
Sweet, my motivation for coding my personal projects has started to come back.
Last night I setup my Personal Assistant project with Text to speech and Voice recognition.
Now I just have to get it to react to commands.6 -
The bouba/kiki effect is a non-arbitrary mapping between speech sounds and the visual shape of objects. It was first documented by Wolfgang Köhler in 1929 using nonsense words.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...17 -
We need to update the slang "script kiddie" to "prompt enginot" or something.
So my boss's boss or someone even higher up drank the generative AI kool-aid and hired a 40-something kid to generate images for the marketing teams (or something like it).
Naturally, things soon went to shit.
The bloke already left, having staid less than six months on the job.
Guess who got to handle all the shit-is-currently-on-fire the kiddie left behind?
First impression: apparently, muggles tried to slak him some very broad descriptions of what they needed, and at first he actually tried to summarize those bark-speech pseudo-words into an actual prompt.
It does not seem to have gone for too long, though.
After users requested changes to the AI outputs, he would update the prompts, all right. And the process seemed to go fast enough... until reaching near-to-completion status.
Then users would request the tiniest changes to the AI output...
And the bloke couldn't do it.
Seriously. Some things were as simple as "we need this slider to go all the way up to 180% instead of 100%" on a lame dashboard and *kid. could. not. do. it.*.
In many cases he literally just gave up and copied the slak history into the AI prompt. No dice.
Bloke couldn't code a print('hello world') into a jupyter notebook cell, that's what i'm saying.
Apparently, he was "self taught", too. And was hired to "speed up the process of generating visual aids for usage in meetings and presentations". But then "the budget for this position was considered excessive" (meaning: shit results from a raw idea some executive crapped some day) and "the position was expanded to include the development of Business Inteligence Dashboards and Data Apps".
So now it is up to me (and my CRIMINALLY UNDERPAID team) to clean up his mess and maintain/fix/deprecate DOZENS of SHODDILY DESIGNED and MOSTLY USELESS but QUITE ACTIVE "data vis" PIECES OF SHIT.
Fuck "AI prompters", fucking snake oil script kiddies.7 -
ChatGPT has an "interactive speech mode" in their app so you can use just bidirectional audio to chat and it's incredible.
I had a deep and pivoting discussion on how data is stored/formatted at disk level for each database type and it responded wonderfully.
It even sounded annoyed when I was 😅
It probably will sell my voice data now though...3 -
(mostly !dev) Fuck humans! Really: what a scum bag race. All that shit talk about human dignity, the highest values are just sugar coating the low base motives we mostly live by. Like people have such fine antennas for your income, social status, the power or lack thereof you exert over other. They know it before you open your mouth, that they can pick on you, harass you, because you're the one on the receiving end, the one that bows away. The bullies feel that. On an overcrowded chicken yard you'll find more dignity than in human society.
Everybody drooling over that polished photoshop life on facetubeinsta: materialistic, consumeristic, masturbatic wastage. At least we now say it openly: that if we were the winners, we'd also take it all, live that empty luxury, life of fame. But 99,99% of us, we aren't in that position, just working off our arse to only keep afloat. And for the stars, those fake images, we're just rats to click on ads to better train Google.
No wonder that software, as a picture of human communication is such a shitfest of arbitrary, entropic conventions and endemic epidemic of quirks, bugs and evil trap doors. As a whole: an insults to reason, a challenge to sanity. (...Conway's law)
And I'm still a bit pissed at our profession, that, you know, as engineers, scientists, physicists, we still see us in the lineage of that "great" age of enlightenment and reason,.. while it's all just a cover up. Sure science and their ideas are nice as long as you serve a purpose or make some money. Sure democracy and free speech are great achievements, but in the end some elites and monopolies rule the world at their gusto - and will not stop destroying the world unless we're already one feet in the abyss (like 1962, be we ain't had enough of that shit, hadn't we?)9 -
yOu kNow wHat? i'Ve hAd iT wiTh tHis fUckiNg hoPpeD uP coUntRy, i'Ve bEen oUt tHe aRmy lEss tHan a yEaR aNd, fuLl dIsclOsurE, i kNew iT wAs bAd bUt wHat iN tHe sKullfUckeRy iS wrOng wIth tHe u.k?
abSolUte rEtarDs eVErYwhEre, wIth sOme oF tHe mOst pIggIsh, sOul dEstrOyiNg aNd sUiCide mOngErinG lEaders i hAve eVer mEt (thAt's a hElluVa aChievemEnt aFteR 5 yEaRs iN tHe aRmy).
thE aMouNt oF iLleGal iMmiGranTs tHat dOn't hAve a wOrd oF eNgliSh oR siNgle tHiNg tO gIve tHis cOuntRy, oTheR tHan pAediPhilia, rApe, kNiveS, dEbt, aNd iDiocy.
yEt tHe gOveRnmeNt iS anAlly rApiNg eVerY siNgle bRitIsh cItizEn tO gIve eVerY siNgle iMmiGranT bEttEr lIviNg cOndItioNs tHan 90% oF pEople wHo aRe hEre lEgallY.
thE wOke-iSm tHat pErmEateS eVerYthiNg iS bEyonD a jOke nOw tOo. wHen tHe hEll dId bAsiC lIfe bEcomE sO coNvOlutEd, "ofFenSive" aNd "scaRy" tHat pRimaRy sChoOls hAve dRag qUeeNs cOmiNg iN tO rEad, sEx eD claSses tHat tEach sHit lIke sEx cHanGes, tRanSiTionIng, bEndiNg tO eVerYone's wIll, aNd tO bE pUnisHed fOr aSking qUesTions?
it fEels lIke tHerE's a cRusHing wEighT oN mY chEst 24/7 aNd i cAn't eVen sPeak aBouT iT bEcaUse nOw frEe sPeech cAn gEt yOu dEmonIzed, oStrAcized, aNd eVen lOckEd uP!
it'S oKay tHougH, yOu wOn't bE lOckEd uP wIth aNy rApiSts, pAediPhileS, thieVes, oR sA's bEcauSe tHey're aLl bAck oN tHe sTreeTs tO mAke sPacE fOr aNyOne wHo dAreS hAve a vOice.
evEry tIme i tAlk tO pEoplE nOw i fEel vIolent aNd fuLl oF rAge. sOme oF tHe tIme iT's nOt eVen tHeIr fAult, i'M jUst bEing cHippEd aWay aT. coNstAntly.
i'M gEnuiNelY scAred i'M gOing tO lOse mY sHit aNd bReak sOmeone's nEck, oR mY oWn."2 -
When you realize even the good sites with smart programmer people on them are deeply infected with the stupid.7
-
wtf GitHub
https://github.com/orgs/community/...
ran into a person today who said their account got suspended with no info and they were writing a speech for a conference on there and now everything is upsidedown for them so I decided to look into it
bruh what the hell is that customer support
is this what happens when Microsoft buys platforms. uegh3 -
I am looking for a job. Ok, alright. This woman calls me with her phone. After a bit of a coordination effort, she proceeds to give me the most pyramid scheme speech that could pyramid scheme. And she said I was fucking chosen because of my IT knowledge... Which I feel fucking insulted about.
This is not my first time brushing against pyramid schemes. Oriflame, if you've heard of it, is another one of the pyramid schemes that, confusingly enough, has product.
But my whole point is, they literally hunted me down because of my age, asked about my goddamn zodiac sign which is always a really good sign (/s), asked me shit like if I have children etc. Like, really. And left no space not to answer most of these.
The whole pyramid scheme industry is basically marketing itself to usually stay-at-home moms, promises an opportunity, etc and they are hard to weed out because they are making their way to normal job hunting websites. Which is how I ran into my first one.
I feel insulted that they'd do this stuff to me but here we are. At least I get the choice of blocking and maybe reporting.
But it really discourages me that that is how things are...5 -
Here is a personal project I've been working on lately. It's not public, but just wanted to share. It's a custom chatbot I created using a LAMP stack. Its built on top of a framework called Program-O to handle the knowledgebase storage and processing along with some basic NLP. I added the web speech api functionality myself so it supports recognition as well as speech synthesis. Anyways, pretty proud of this one.7
-
my dearest president decides to greet us this Independence Day morning with this!
this country is a big joke13 -
I'm new to speech recognition game, so I was wondering what's the advantage of Tensorflow's audio recognition over Microsoft.Speech in Visual studio, if any.
Also open to any other suggestions/lectures on the matter.1 -
IPhone speech to text has come a long way. Definitely has improved. Real-time dictation rather than batching it.
I am currently doing approximately 50 percent of my rants by voice. In fact the rank you are reading I did by voice.
You can easily do punctuation such as a period, new paragraph, new line, caps and lower case. The speech recognition is excellent even with my New York accent and it learns the more you use it. Rarely does it get a word wrong.
Editing still has to be done manually and is a pain but that may change as dragon already allows you to do in-line editing. iOS speech to text has already surpassed dragon in some facets.
I do have to press the add new and post buttons at this Time to post my rants. But that may change as the enhanced dictation on the map allows you access to specific commands.
I will keep you informed of progress and I will be testing on android over the next few days as well.4 -
Best boss ever. He gave me light working hours, i could ask for a day off whenever i wanted or leave early if i needed to. Never felt like a slave working for him and always felt respected and valued. Taught me basically most of what i know today and introduced me to some awesome games. Never bored me with formal speech. Come to think of it hes more of a friend. If the company was doing a bit better financially i would never had left. Obviously i dont expect to ever have a boss as good as him in the years to come.
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IT teach giving a speech that our MS excel exams are shit and we have no logic and that we suck at math. I mean, yeah it's true that I suck at math and I've never used excel before coz I never had to but ffs I code during nights and I love it, also there are so many fields, saying that you'll be just a part-time waiter... If you have the attitude to solve a problem that you care enough about you'll get there eventually. Sucking at something doesn't mean you suck at everything, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.5
-
Any way to block/ignore certain bullshitters? Just blocking the threads is enough.
Note for smartasses: freedom of speech is not equal to having to listen.19 -
So I'm pretty sure that when I went all in to Apple's Siri shitfest and turned on "Hey, Siri" that I had to accept some kind of privacy notice or some shit. Essentially, being an iPhone user and turning on that service, I've agreed to allow them to listen to me.
But what about the guy who sits next to me? Are his rights to privacy being infringed because my phone can also hear him? If so, who is the one infringing? Me or Apple?
Apple is just an example, but imagine if someone has an Echo in an office or a Google Home. Or what if you're unknowingly standing next to someone with a Google or Apple device that's always listening?
I know my old Android phone had picked up people at the grocery store before. I never turned on "Ok Google" but I used the speech to text of the keyboard a few times. When people showed how you could go see what Google had "heard", I was surprised to find how many OTHER people it picked up.
Anyway, just some thinking. -
I love Nim because it lets me use chickenbob speech to make calls inside of my code being that is is canse insensitive.
-
Meetings.
Too many meetings.
"Why do you explain...." 10kv electrical shock.
Explanation so everyone has the same knowledge.
"But CD ES process of LCE..." Water. From the emergency hose. In the face.
For fucks sake, we are using speech in a meeting so stop using motherfucking abbreviations you shit hole.
"We had bugs". Taking an hot iron and shoving it somewhere nice.
Explain - what the fuck are you talking about? What bugs? Tickets? Documentation? Implications of the bugs? Hate. Much hate.
Um. I don't know. Maybe. But if.
Thumb wrenches.
Please, stop wasting time, if it's non important, a " No " doesn't hurt....
Let me show you. (4k Monitor, 10 px font, bright neon colors, IDE looks like LSD trip in bad).
Crucification.
If you present stuff, good - but for christs sake, shove your motherfucking shitty IDE setting in your own arse and turn on presentation mode with neutral colors - bright or dark mode, I don't care, but readable without danger of seizure.
I can't stream my monitor right now because of "bla" "blabla" (some private shit that has ZERO to do with work).
I'll need some oxy if this goes on.2 -
Ability to understand all machine learning models to modify code and those models directly and create better ones every time.
I would take existing ml model, modify it by hand to create better one, win some multimillion dollars competitions and make them open source.
Eventually all recommendation systems, text to speech, speech to text, music generation, movies generation etc would be opensource.
This would either destroy or boost all modern economy but for sure it would make harm to corporations and make them cry.
That would be fun to see.6 -
Been thinking about if I want voice acting in my games. Potentially it would be really expensive. So I wondered if there was AI libraries for training your own voices. There are a few and some even are trying to do it realtime. Or at least fast enough for web site use.
I find this library:
https://github.com/coqui-ai/TTS
Looks interesting, but I need training data. I found that you can license a limited number of words from voice actors. The licensing doesn't seem to care if how you use the data as long as it stays inside your production (video, game, etc). There are even some free ones out there. I think it might be kinda fun to learn how to do this.
Yes, there are a bunch of AI websites, but the voices almost always seem conversational. Not voices in a game setting. Most of those are stupid subscription bullshit. I also looked at text to speech and most of those are subscription. I really really hate the SaaS business model. I avoid companies that use it as much as I can.9 -
For those of you scared of the ZOMG imminent threat of AI.....
In Spanish, in particular to the way it is spoken in Mexico, we know curly hair to be called "chino" or "chinos" in certain places. This is funny because Chino is actually what we call Chinese people.
So. The other day I mentioned in a friend of mine's post the text "pinches chinos" in regards to the pain of having curly hair(which I also have) during windy days.
FB being the retarded piece of shit that it is took it as hate speech, pinches chinos can be roughly translated to "fucking curly hair" in this regard, but because FB is retarded as all fuck it took it as me spewing some hate speech again'st their Chinese overlords.
I normally wouldn't give a fuck, if it weren't because one of my friends is celebrating their birthdays today and I can't post shit on his wall due to me being on facebook jail.
I have known this dude since I was 6, currently 29, but no, FB decided that I was some racist prick somehow and because of that I can't go ahead and post something to him. Its fine, I was still capable of calling him and celebrating with my boy, but still.
An AI will not be able to detect the difference between a fucking cat and a lion, it is shitty technology, it is interesting because of the math behind it, but seriously, not something to be scared about, skynet is far from coming into existence.
Fuck FB and fuck people scared about AI and deep learning12 -
Apple is really a rotten company.
They have a deal with Chinese government, so they are basically helping abuse human rights.
Recently they disabled AirDrop in China, to further prevent freedom of speech during protests. And they are threatening to remove Twitter from app store, since it Musk is ramping up free speech.14 -
After God created man what did He do?
“So God created Man in His own image.
In the image of God He created them.
Then God blessed them. . ,”
Genesis 1:27–28.
I love the blessing that Aaron pronounced on the Israelites:
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace,”
Numbers 6:24–26.
Years ago I ran across a piece that is based on a true story about when the court system made a decision about a school in Washington, IL. The valedictorian had gone to the ACLU for help and the ruling was that they could not have an invocation and benediction during graduation.
This ruling came down just three days before graduation.
I want to share this story with you because this it illustrates how the power of words is almost physically felt. I’ve included it here so you can see how it makes you feel.
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would NOT pray during the commencements, not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines (https://mcessay.com/research-papers...) allowed by the ruling.
They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine until the final speech received a standing ovation.
When Ryan Brown walked proudly to the microphone he quietly protested when he briefly stopped and bowed in silent prayer.
At this point the audience began to stand and applaud. He replied to the crowd, “Don’t applaud for me, applaud for God.”
When he reached the microphone he stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.
He faked a sneeze!
As planned, almost the entire class yelled,
‘GOD BLESS YOU’
As he walked off the stage the audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God’s blessing on their future with or without the court’s approval.
Now, you don’t have to wait until someone sneezes to bless your child. You bless them each time you tell him you love and affirm him.9 -
Damn happy to see this much traffic in my repo...
Title: Audio book generator
GitHub link:
https://github.com/globefire/...
Demonstration:
https://youtu.be/xhMvGg1dAsg
Star if you like it.. :)rant speech to text audio books? text to speech innovative github audio books github audio project ebooks github star nailedit -
"The era of self-regulation for online companies is over." UK Culture Secretary Jeremy Wright.
Look for governments, especially those without strong free speech protections, to move to control the means of communication for the masses, and control what people see and hear.2 -
Google bloody captcha.
It works fine, until you have more than one form on a page then the complexity increases by 100000%.
Finally my colleague gets it working then I read an article that says bots use Google own speech recognition service to defeat it. Fun times.3 -
Today I watched "the birth and death of js":
https://destroyallsoftware.com/talk...
Here Gary Bernhardt talks about compiling executables to asm.js and about running the compiled files using a js interpreter that can be included in the kernel.
Eventually, some responsibility can be moved from the kernel to this interpreter, responsibility like virtual memory and trap management.
This speech aims to be fun, so not everything should be taken seriously...
but...
but...
(Forgive me)
...this trick seems to be a nice idea, and projects like Node OS work likewise.
So now, would you even consider this? Or is it just something that will be nothing more than craziness of a mad man?1 -
Hmm... My first experience with computers was in 1991 or so, when my then best friend had C64. And I was 7. My first PC arrived in 1993. Prince of Persia is the first game I remember from that time. I started programming in 1995 or '96, writing useless things in Pascal. Using PHP since 2000. Still that’s my main programming language. And sadly, my kids have different hobbies than me, so they aren’t even trying to program.
I remember the sound of modem connecting thru phone line to some BBS systems and later to the first public and free internet service in Poland. I remember simple, really „computer-like” voice of my dad’s speech synthesizer (he’s blind person). I remember, when our time to „play on PC” was limited to max 1hr a day... What will our kids remember? -
Hey
Anyone looking into how A.I. can improve language learning courses (and obviously, speech recognition) and such?
I know, A.I. buzzword, but I think it's applicable here..
Who is actually coding A.I. right now anyway? anyone?6 -
My father. It's thanks to him that I knew how to use a computer before I knew coherent speech. He's also the one who introduced me to linux long before my peers had even heard of it. Even now, he's the one I go to if I'm really lost for answers in anything related to computers. Like, when even StackOverflow fails me. 😱2
-
I meet a CEO of a company. Having attitude like he knows everything. And give speech on any topic. But speech won't match the topic at any condition.
I meet him I asked what project do u have and all.... He showed me some website projects... With source code it was fine to me...
The thing is before showing the website project. I asked him in which backend language Website are developed...
Answer: php. I ohh php ok.
And he suddenly replied we have also used HTML & CSS.. 😵 😵 I was shocked I thought wtf?? how can a website can be developed without HTML & CSS...3 -
I have never regretted over anything in my life like I am regretting taking a course named Speech Technology this semester.
Professor is nice but problem is he is too ambitious. He wants us to study a research paper on our own and implement whatever it is in research paper. People have worked years to write those research papers. How we gonna do it in one or 1.5 months. And the worst part is there are not much technical resources and documentation available to understand how to implement those things. Just abstract theories.
May the force be with me!1 -
class Rant(Speech):
def __init__(self, topic, audience):
self.topic = topic
self.audience = [x for x in audience if x.mood = moods[bored]]
devRant = Rant("wtf?", devs)3 -
Posts disappearing off this platform. Should I be worried? Speech seems to be getting dangerous across the web.57
-
Eavesdropping by phone's microphone and speech recognition to serve targetted ads by Google? Anyone here had a feeling this happened to them or knows is this already a thing?
Happened to me on my Android phone multiple times over last year on different subjects, that I was talking live with a person, for example how someone had eyelid surgery (my phone was locked in my pocket the whole time and I didn't google search what that is, or made any text input into device whatsoever) and couple minutes later an ad came on my phone for exactly something we were discussing before. Weird coincedence or something more? 🤔9 -
I used speech recognition package of python in one of my projects. It is working properly but it is not recognising some words, like if I say my name so it will print something else, printing 2 as doose, 1 as drone. To sum up, it's not considering few words.
I tried some amendments like set the language to english-india.
language =en-IN
But after this also, same problem arose.12 -
Reading a couple rants from students and teachers lately, brought back to my mind a memory from the first lesson in my Software Engineering course when I was in college.
Teacher entered the room like he was the king of the world, turned around facing the students and started his intro speech:
"my name is {name} bla bla bla I will teach you software engineering bla bla bla let's point out one important thing: In your life you have written how many lines of code for a software? 10? 100? If you have NEVER written at least 1,000,000 lines of code for a program, you're not a developer. Now let's start talking about waterfall, endless specification requirements and meetings..."
Me 😐
And that was the moment I left the room moonwalking1 -
Next personal fail ...
previous rant
https://devrant.com/rants/2060249/...
Turned out that wavenet is sequential so it needs previous step to predict next.
Quite obvious when you look at how people speak sentences, they hardly stop in the middle of the word.
🤔
need to think how to proceed next, how to cut sentences.
Watched deepvoice3 and some accent models from baidu.
I can generate 8 sentences at a time, each takes 8 minutes so if I cut between words and got last mels between words right I can get 1 minute but I need to store model somewhere.
I forgot my machine learning and speech synthesis skills from previous life, time to load more skills ... -
Again got an email(pseudospam) from a service I subscribed to (yes I did). It says the email is from CEO and it's supposed to be X-mas wish + invitation to their youtube channel. It was, kind of...
But the words they (or he, but I hope not) used in the email! It was so obviously blank, such uninteresting-president-speech. It was even targeted as a spam by gmail. In a foreign lang.
I mean... if you want to reach to your customers, sit on your ass and imagine _yourself_ reading an email that's long, its point was lost somewhere in the fourth sentence and magically appeared at the end + even default mail filter targets it as a spam.
That's what you get from a service. Motivational crap and blank words. Many thanks, I haven't heard a lot of those lately, eh?! -
Some professors at my university just come to the class and read out the pdf/slides.
Now I know how came the idea of Audio Books and Text-to-speech PDF readers !!!4 -
I am building a web application which is multimedia centric (mostly video chat). Text to Speech and vice versa.
I have chosen Node with mongoDb as backend API with React Frontend.
What stack would you suggest for such an application?8 -
Someone has to start manufacturing quality HUD glasses...
Imagine the possibilities and comfort...
no more neckpain from crouching above your laptop/tablet/smartphone, imagine the navigation systems, imagine you could read messages, articles, code, watch videos whatever you are doing, even work on your code with some kind of keyboard (or with speech recognition)
I want this soo bad..3 -
That moment when you realize that normal people dont use increment and decrement in normal speech syntax...
-
Anybody heard anything about this?
First Video:
https://youtu.be/csP4z8dR6X0
Second Video:
https://youtu.be/g1VeElBAeas
Its a interview with a senior google software engineer who leaked information about Google's machine learning bias, censorship, hiring practices, and much more. I think that Google's censorship based on the company's own political standing is disgusting. While I do not associate with either political parties (I feel like I don't know enough politics to have an opinion), I do detest any censorship of speech and information. Maybe unbiased search engines like duckduckgo will rise in the future.
p.s. sorry if there's bad formatting, I am on mobile.1 -
looks like cloudflare doesn't believe in free speech. thoughts?
https://new.blog.cloudflare.com/ter...
section 230 not to mention the first amendment means platforms are not liable for user created content. objectivity is a must. cloudflare breaks the social compact with this decision.12 -
Bought fucking nvidia gpu to test speed of some fucking machine learning models that generate speech.
6 hours wasted already for installing fucking dependencies
cuda, fucking tensorflow gpu, bezel and other shit
Fucking resetting password to download deb with cudnn,
really ??????? fucking emails are not delivered to my fucking mailbox
After mass click of send email and multiple account ban and unban I figured out I should login to nvidia website and then allow access to fucking developer every time I want to log in there - fuck shit
Uninstalling everything now looking for fucking compatible versions between software.
10 years in this business still fucking installation of dependencies is most difficult part
Fucking corporate business and their shitty installation instructions to fuck up peoples lives and switch them to the cloud.
Same was with fucking kubernetes
Fucking software dependency hell
It’s worse then ever before.
Fuck ....3 -
For my final project of first year at middle school (that's before university), I had to make a experiment and measured it using a circuit connected to the computer. At the end I couldn't finish but I made a program for explain what the circuit (expected) did using one of the Microsoft Office's assistant (Merlin the wizard), Merlin moved around the screen talking about the experiment and what the circuit measured it over and over, almost forgotten to tell I had to show it in a science festival to anybody who came at school, none asked about the experiment or the circuit, all the questions was about how I made the program, how the program could speech in spanish and explain the experiment.
At the begining of that day I was so nervous, but at the end I could say fuck yeah.
And the program was a macro in Basic with text to speech of a Loquendo like voice, I only record the movements and put the text.
That's one of the reason of I like programming, it save it my ass.
That was more than ten years ago, I didn't have a computer only at the school, internet not was so common.4 -
I am really psyched about the tech to create voices for generated speech. I am really excited when in the future this tech might be small enough to deliver with a game or OS. Then much more interactive games can be built with generated text. It would be so cool to license voices for this kind of work.
It will probably end up with artists creating unique and interesting voices to allow game developers to pick and choose. So voice artists will be a thing as well as graphics artists. The tricky part will finding a way to add mood states to the generated voices. Right now this could be done with different voice profiles for different speech.
Right now the tech is "large", but this will rapidly become smaller and efficient as it gets developed more.1 -
Anybody know about a good open source speech to text engine?
I googled but there are tons of them and I don't have much time right now to try each them of out
What I actually want is just to convert the audio (in English) to text and would also want to note the time those sentences were spoke in the audio like a subtitle file.7 -
HTML Writers Guidelines
When designing your web site you want to make the visiting experience as enjoyable as possible and at the same time make it so that if the site needs to be changed in any way, the changes are not too difficult to make. You want the look to be as appealing as possible for all browsers and also make the site accessible to users with disabilities. In order to accomplish all this there are some general guidelines when creating your HTML code.
1. The first thing that will really make your life easier is through the use of Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) - CSS is used to maintain the look of the document such as the fonts, margins and color. HTML directly on the page is not a good choice to handle these aspects because if say, the font color you are using for certain paragraphs needs to be changed from blue to red, you would have to go in and change each color tag manually. By using CSS you can designate the color for each of those paragraphs just once in the CSS file. That way if you have to change the font color from blue to red you make one change instead of the countless number of changes you might have to make, especially if your web site contains hundreds of pages. This is a big time saver and a must for all professionally designed web sites.
2. Don't use the FONT tag directly in your HTML code - This becomes a problem when using some cheap authoring tools that try to mimic what a web page should look like by using excessive FONT tags and nbsp characters. These tools end up creating web pages that are impossible to keep maintained. There is a program you can use, if you've created one of these disaster pages, called the HTML Tidy Program which you can actually download here . This will clean up your code as well as possible.
3. You want your web pages readable to people who have disabilities - People who surf the Internet depend on speech synthesizers or Braille readers to interpret the text on the page. If your HTML markup is sloppy or isn't contained in CSS the software these people use to read pages have a difficult time in interpreting these pages. You should also include descriptions for each image on your page. Also, don't use server side image maps. If you are using tables you should include a summary of the table's structure and also associate table data with the correct headers. This gives non visual browsers a chance to follow the page as they go from one cell to another. And finally, for forms, make sure you include labels for form fields.
By following just these three guidelines you give your visitors, especially disabled visitors the best chance of having an enjoyable visit to your site while at the same time making it so that if you have to make changes to your site, those changes can be made easily and quickly.2 -
So I have question about my resume.
During my college time, I have done two projects related to politics:
One is to analyze the bias of media. What I did is scrape news covers for Trump and Hillary during election year and get sentiment analysis. The result is not surprising that among NY Times, NBC, Fox, Eashington Post, and CNN, Fox news is clearly favoring Trump, since Fox news is a republican news site.
The other project I did was to analyze the speech complexity and sentiment of the election. One of the observation we made was that Hillary and Trump are almost at the same level regarding speech complexity. However, Trump has a more positive sentiment in the speech, which is true consider how much he loves to say make America great again.
Now the question is, when I gave my advisor my resume, she said that I'd better not put those two projects on my resume since they are related to politics.
But, I am applying for a data science master degree. Seriously, I was just collecting the data and the data speaks for himself, why should I take those projects off my resume? I'm very proud of those projects I did as a matter of fact.
So here is the question. Shall I take off those two projects on my resume because they were political or I should leave it thereawarreally need some professional views. Please.1 -
I just really want to pluck my eyes out...
My sister is abroad for a music festival where she is attending as a speaker.
Her speech got almost ready at the last moment. The slideshow presentation was sloppy cause she gave some half-assed points to put. I saved the files (PDF and PPT) on her laptop and on her USB stick, I didn't keep any copies for me. She rehearsed her speech and I added some more points to enrich it and fill a bit more time. When she got there, she messaged me if it was possible to add those extra points to the presentation. I asked her to e-mail me the new points and the presentation on time (which it didn't happen), expecting a file attached to the e-mail. And guess what:
SHE FREAKIN' TYPED EVERYTHING EXCEPT OF THE TITLE!!!
AND NOW I HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE PRESENTATION!!!
I can't facepalm myself hard enough to hop onto another universe... -
Developed this project "Audio Book Generator"
Implementing speech synthesis(📖 to 🗣) on eBooks
Bored with writing notes in a lecture? How about we convert the notes dictated by the lecturer into text? Use the speechtotext.py script to get the text format of spoken notes, which saves the text in a .txt file.
Too lazy to read a novel? Get an Ebook version of the novel and run the finalAudioBookGenerator.py script. It will generate an mp3(audio) format of the book. Enjoy book listening :)
You can also convert your single images using the singleImageReader.py script.
Demonstration:
https://youtu.be/xhMvGg1dAsg
Project:
https://github.com/globefire/...
Star If you liked it. :)rant project python github audio books speech synthesis youtube text to speech speech to text tesseract3 -
Several years ago I spent over two months working out how to integrate Text To Speech and Speech To Text (TTS/STT) into any windows program I wrote in Delphi, originally for a powerful flat-file search engine. Does anyone know if TTS/STT is useful on windows 10+ or have any use?
I was thinking about redeveloping the search engine into a stand alone program which can be used as a fast and light query tool with trigger functions, it can be made into a "reply bot" or used with a server like Apache, but without the old IBM mainframe mentality being readopted as "AI" and "social media" everywhere today. low-level Independent and secure droid like systems sound more fun to develop. -
How can not one, not two, but many many things JUST be so wrong!? like..
Windows. (Yes. THE OS). Why? well... we begin with the garbage, right? the BLOAT.
cortana
mspaint
internet explorer <- wh..WHA?! wh?!?!
ms edge <- okay.. (I saying okay as in a figure of speech I would like to remove it honestly)
why can't I remove internet explorer, and they make another internet explorr called microsoft edge - you guessed it - I can't remove ms edge either.
What's next?! :D
bloat umbruella version -0.1? :D <- a new internet explorer. for 2042.
Cortana. <- some might say "that's not Sooo bad tho". It might not be, but if if it is for me - I would like to remove it.
Okay. okay. moving onto the software.
`V`-Yeah you guessed right. on the first letter.
VISUAL STUDIO.
my face: 😲
I compare visual studio to windows xp to internet explorer to windows overall. they share so much in common...
forced updates,
fixes,
BLOCKS you to compile programs because of NUMEROUS REASONS LIKE..
comment out "CRC303030 whatever" to ignore this message.
you need the build tools vx.x.x.y.x.y.x.t..z.z.z.(100 billion digits later)..x.x.Z OR alternatively you could re-target your solution by (...) (and now today I had enough, I dont see the retarget solution - And I am sure, WHEN I SEE IT - it will just be another problem..
... 💥
I am surprised how windows can run so fluently, with all this crap. Fluently as in actually being running. I am a fan of linux instead though but..
(question to me would probably be why you use windows not linux then?) sometimes I code on windows.. 🤦♀️
and it is a pain.
workloads,updates,options,BILLION OF OPTIONS, BILLION OF BUTTONS, stuff I never ever use, takes time to reinstall,install,remove, - windows also needs to restart after each simple thing.... (!?)
sorry. this was nice to write this rant. PHEW! thank GOSH this site exists! 😘 😍5 -
Coding a voice controlled IoT project is all fun and games in research until you notice no frameworks support your native language...2
-
It's getting on my nerve to constantly change from one programming language to another in one semester. We are learning web development (html css js), functional programming (haskell), speech analysis (matlab) and logical programming (prolog). It's driving me kinda mad having to change the approach for each assignment every few days.2
-
So in the past 3 days I've almost had 6 heart attacks, I've been giving public speeches for random classes at my school as a practise.
Today I'm going to some capital city finals shit whatever you call it and I have to give a public speech to fuc knows how many people.
I wrote a speech about lies in 700 words, speech has to be 5 minutes, oh yeah, in English. It's not my native...
Man, I am not ok at all Xd, they had to choose the one who has anxiety dosorders.2 -
Working out human speech patterns and phonyms, which is basic sounds of language. (ooh, ahh, ehhh)
With these sounds we would figure out how well people could speak in non native tongues. -
So happy!
I made my first project (or at least started) using my iPad (with some help from my laptop).
I am trying to make it possible for web comic artists to upload their comics without any text in the speech bubbles and then load the text using javascript for the specific locale.
It’s in an early stage (a few hour old) and the editor and the viewer share data only with cookies and local storage instead of a server but it's still a concept.
What do you think?
Github: https://github.com/konstantintuev/...2 -
Well Twitter is becoming spyware.
http://mashable.com/2017/11/...
I mean, I get they want to fight against neonazis and co. but sadly there's no guarantee to believe they'll stop at only banning these people.
I'll probably add twitter to my uBlock filter...4 -
Inspired by an overheard conversation (partial) among some of my co-workers:
I'm going to make an app that takes a speech sample, either text, or audio file, and accurately gauges the speakers' ages based on the number of times per minute the word "restaurant" is used.1 -
Good day all
This is a Text Detector app I created using Google API and firebase MLKit
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
Text to speech
Translate up to 60 languages
Download and give a review13 -
Programmers are freaks with three limbs and square heads. During your fiery conference speech, as the crowd laughs, one filth, who is your manager, tells another filth, who is someone else’s manager: “Look, this is my mule. Can code many hours. Don’t has to pay many moneys. My mule is more good than your mule. In Bangalore, they ask very many moneys for this mule.”
And you know damn well that when in Bangalore they ask less, you’re gone in a flick of a pen. Your company sent you to give this talk. Meetup? No, just a freak show for mules. Is it a dick measuring contest for investors? No, not at all. As you speak, this filth is fucking his secretary in Aruba while his wife is dying of cancer in Miami. And the supreme filth, the one that has no eyes and no mouth? It grins. Go mule, spaces versus tabs. Vim versus Emacs. Linux versus macOS. Divide and conquer.1 -
Do you want to use text to speech huh? Ha ha ha here’s a low battery pop up to completely derail what you were saying and make you repeat the last 10 seconds.
an actual good design would have waited until the text to speech function was complete to pop up the message or at least don’t stop recording what’s being said. But I guess I don’t understand innovation.
Think different indeed12 -
The good thing about a Google search that includes "words in speech marks" is that Google will *only* return pages where that phrase definitely appears.
Or not.5 -
Do you prefer audiobooks? Are you an active medium reader? Do you want audio for the medium articles you read? Are you out of your free medium articles?😢 My Scrapy is here for the rescue.💸
This is a simple application of web scraping, it scrapes the articles of medium and allows you to read or hear the article. If you use this on computer there will be a number of accents in the option.
The audio feature is provided only to the premium medium users, so here comes My Scrapy to save your 5$/month. 💸
.
Tech Stack used :
Python, beautiful soup, Django, speech synthesis
PS: This application was built for educational purpose.
Fun Fact: You can still read any medium articles if they are asking you to upgrade, you must be wondering how? Well, copy the link of the article and browse it in incognito mode on any browser or sign out and read it.😂🤣
githublink:
https://github.com/globefire/...
demo link:
https://youtube.com/watch/...
instagram link:
https://instagram.com/p/...3 -
Part 3
https://devrant.com/rants/9881158/...
I dropped subtitles and started extracting audio from movie, after that I use whisper to convert speech to text.
I parse srt from whisper, adjust timestamps to get >= arbitrary amount of voice seconds. I put text to vector database with timestamps and movie file name.
I query database by ex. “I don’t know” and extract first n results, after that I walk trough movies and extract parts with found text.
I normalize and merge parts into one movie.
Results are satisfying so now I decided to try to find a common dialogue that I can watch by combining multiple persons speaking from multiple movies.
Might also try to extract person from one movie and put it to other movie.2 -
Chinese remainder theorem
So the idea is that a partial or zero knowledge proof is used for not just encryption but also for a sort of distributed ledger or proof-of-membership, in addition to being used to add new members where additional layers of distributive proofs are at it, so that rollbacks can be performed on a network to remove members or revoke content.
Data is NOT automatically distributed throughout a network, rather sharing is the equivalent of replicating and syncing data to your instance.
Therefore if you don't like something on a network or think it's a liability (hate speech for the left, violent content for the right for example), the degree to which it is not shared is the degree to which it is censored.
By automatically not showing images posted by people you're subscribed to or following, infiltrators or state level actors who post things like calls to terrorism or csam to open platforms in order to justify shutting down platforms they don't control, are cut off at the knees. Their may also be a case for tools built on AI that automatically determine if something like a thumbnail should be censored or give the user an NSFW warning before clicking a link that may appear innocuous but is actually malicious.
Server nodes may be virtual in that they are merely a graph of people connected in a group by each person in the group having a piece of a shared key.
Because Chinese remainder theorem only requires a subset of all the info in the original key it also Acts as a voting mechanism to decide whether a piece of content is allowed to be synced to an entire group or remain permanently.
Data that hasn't been verified yet may go into a case for a given cluster of users who are mutually subscribed or following in a small world graph, but at the same time it doesn't get shared out of that subgraph in may expire if enough users don't hit a like button or a retain button or a share or "verify" button.
The algorithm here then is no algorithm at all but merely the natural association process between people and their likes and dislikes directly affecting the outcome of what they see via that process of association to begin with.
We can even go so far as to dog food content that's already been synced to a graph into evolutions of the existing key such that the retention of new generations of key, dependent on the previous key, also act as a store of the data that's been synced to the members of the node.
Therefore remember that continually post content that doesn't get verified slowly falls out of the node such that eventually their content becomes merely temporary in the cases or index of the node members, driving index and node subgraph membership in an organic and natural process based purely on affiliation and identification.
Here I've sort of butchered the idea of the Chinese remainder theorem in shoehorned it into the idea of zero knowledge proofs but you can see where I'm going with this if you squint at the idea mentally and look at it at just the right angle.
The big idea was to remove the influence of centralized algorithms to begin with, and implement mechanisms such that third-party organizations that exist to discredit or shut down small platforms are hindered by the design of the platform itself.
I think if you look over the ideas here you'll see that's what the general design thrust achieves or could achieve if implemented into a platform.
The addition of indexes in a node or "server" or "room" (being a set of users mutually subscribed to a particular tag or topic or each other), where the index is an index of text audio videos and other media including user posts that are available on the given node, in the index being titled but blind links (no pictures/media, or media verified as safe through an automatic tool) would also be useful.12 -
Having hard time to make my friend understand that you don't need to build everything from scratch and we can get started for free with commercial solutions for speech recognition and only pay when we have a decent userbase. The worst part is he doesn't believe it even when it is clearly written on the website.3
-
I'm doing this internship because I'm a self taught programmer and I want to land a job at this obviously. Well I get this boss that first asks me for a chatbot. I'm a bit overwhelmed but decided to take it because didn't seem that complicated just time consuming. Then he goes and scale the chatbot to a full blown A.I. that talks, has a avatar reacting to emotions, has speech recognition and a lot of things. I been making progress on the normal bots you see around messenger and slack. I asked for more people to work for me and there is a guy who is working back-end and has never sit down and taught me his system even do I ask everyday for it. Seems like this internship is a waste of time. Any tips?10
-
May I know the best python open source framework to develop speech recognition from scratchquestion python 3 devteam machine learning speech recognition devtea deep learning java artificial intelligence10
-
Times are so different. Especially don't shoot the messenger. Ha, fuck that. Shoot him on sight. That dude can think for himself if it's OK to deliver the message right?
Sadly, the messengers are protected by 'freedom to speech'. More like 'freedom to propaganda' these days.
This is not only dev related. It's 42 related7 -
I can't stop laughing at the irony of this post : https://freenode.net/news/...
in fact, all posts from rasengan on the freenode "news" site are laughable. If you want a good weekend laugh, you should subscribe to the site.
I rarely read freenode's news because it was mostly only technical update posts that wasn't too relevant to me. But now, this person is using an IRC network's news site as their personal ranting space and probably want to pass them off as "news".
oh, and apparently, they have too many designations that they need to use a new one with every new post.12 -
this platform is belong a chinese communist china .
where is the free speech huh? fuck you china men , fuck you!
@johnmelodyme fuck you yellow fucks!
you think you can silent me ? I live in AMERICA you jackass! fuck the yellow chinese12 -
Anyone tried converting speech waveforms to some type of image and then using those as training data for a stable diffusion model?
Hypothetically it should generate "ultrarealistic" waveforms for phonemes, for any given style of voice. The training labels are naturally the words or phonemes themselves, in text format (well, embedding vectors fwiw)
After that it's a matter of testing text-to-image, which should generate the relevant phonemes as images of waveforms (or your given visual representation, however you choose to pack it)
I would have tried this myself but I only have 3gb vram.
Even rudimentary voice generation that produces recognizable words from text input, would be interesting to see implemented and maybe a first for SD.
In other news:
Implementing SQL for an identity explorer. Basically the system generates sets of values for given known identities, and stores the formulas as strings, along with the values.
For any given value test set we can then cross reference to look up equivalent identities. And then we can test if these same identities hold for other test sets of actual variable values. If not, the identity string cam be removed, or gophered elsewhere in the database for further exploration and experimentation.
I'm hoping by doing this, I can somewhat automate the process of finding identities, instead of relying on logs and using the OS built-in text search for test value (which I can then look up in the files that show up, and cross reference the logged equations that produced those values), which I use to find new identities.
I was even considering processing the logs of equations and identities as some form of training data perhaps for a ML system that generates plausible new identities but that's a little outside my reach I think.
Finally, now that I know the new modular function converts semiprimes into numbers with larger factor trees, I'm thinking of writing a visual browser that maps the connections from factor tree to factor tree, making them expandable and collapsible, andallowong adjusting the formula and regenerating trees on the fly.7 -
#Suphle Rant 11: Laravel board launch
The launch took almost 2 weeks more than originally slated, because I sought to install it manually, just as an outsider would. Installation steps had been documented, automated tests for the installation tests were passing. When time came to actually execute the binary from the terminal, we went from one obstacle to the other. First, were the relatively minor Composer/Roadrunner issues, eventually resolved by the helpful RR maintainers who sat with me through a Discord server for about 2 hours until their command ran the way I needed it to.
Next was the Psalm scare: One of my value propositions was the guarantee of eliminating all type related bugs in Suphle apps. I intended to use Psalm for that. Wrote tests as usual. Turns out the library behaves differently under conditions differing from raw CLI usage. I resurrected threads I'd opened since December that were left unattended, and with some help from the maintainer, we eventually got it to do what I need it to do.
I was all the more frightened by the fact that Transphporm had caused me to renege on one of my earlier promises. I can only miss so many targets. After this, the docs had to be updated with all the changes effected to accurately integrate those two. Project installation and initialization commands were ran rigorously to ensure all progresses smoothly.
Tagged one final release and suddenly became impatient to launch on our local Laravel group chat where I've been a member for the last 4+ years, where we've had a rollercoaster of emotions. In that time, I've refined my launch speech to suit that audience -- obviously, countless times. Not just a tame "It's my pleasure to announce what I've been working on", but near 40 messages going into details about the inner workings, why it was built, how it compares. An expose that dove deeper than I would anywhere else.
I scheduled a time for them to tune in and got some encouraging anticipation. Ended up deflated after posting the whole thing. Only about 5 persons interacted. 1 (who I've chatted with outside the board) was quite enthusiastic. Feverishly checked the docs but commented it was overwhelming and he'd need more time. Already starred the repository.
For some context, there are give or take 250 members on that board. Not all are active but activity there easily reaches a crescendo when the topic discussed is about inanities like what 3rd party services to use for SMS, how to receive salaries from abroad, or job openings. I was optimistic when the acquaintance mentioned above published a payment library and met a riotuous welcome as one of their own. Maybe, they are simply not fond of me and the speech should have been passed off to someone else.
I checked Packagist installs -- not more 10. For 3 years, I'd been hyped up for that night; but for some reason, the audience I considered myself closest to flopped, woefully. Thankfully, this isn't the main launch. I'm still holding out hope for that. If it fails, I would have sunk an immeasurable amount of effort and time, that nobody will compensate me for. That is the one place I go to see those more advanced than me in PHP. I constantly learn there and find stimulating conversations there.
Now, I can no longer predict reception from other presentations. All I can do now is hope1 -
A medical equipment that you can attach to employees and excruciatingly kill them as soon as they say things like (please note that the list is not limited and we should use a speech to text API to provide NLP states for the meaning - I want to catch all false negatives!! Kill them all!!!!):
- It works on my machine
- I tested it before!
- Haskell is a terrible language
- Big data and actionable insights
- why do you need unit tests here?
- I am a recruiter
- Anything that comes with the following construction as well: "I don't have anything against X, but..."
Any other suggestions of phrases?2 -
ive been coding all day for days and as i was sitting trying to code more features something mentally hit me like, invisible falcon punched me, like something snapped inside my mind and i literally lost balance in my brain and could not control my balance, if i stood up i would instantly fall down, picture it as trying to walk without bones in your body, fortunately i was sitting down on the chair so i didnt collapse on the floor, it felt like there was no gravity and i was just floating, but my head started falling down on the table as i was sitting, it was outside of my control, and then everything started fading to black, my brain could not even think anything at this moment, i wanted to speak but i forgot how to speak words, not even joking, turned out i slipped into unconsciousness for a few moments and got back up, slowly regaining my balance and speech/consciousness control.
what the fuck just happened
i am surprised i could remember everything what happened until i blacked out
why didnt anyone warn me these are the consequences of working extraordinarily harder?6 -
Richard Nixon gives the speech about Armstrong and Aldrin dying on the moon.
https://yewtu.be/watch/...6 -
I feel really lost in neural network theory.
the mnist sample made sense, but now I'm looking at Gans and CNN's.. and now all of a sudden I'm lost.
True also are the examples I'm finding of something I know I was able to get to work when more at peace once upon a time called wavenet for text to speech.
I used the Onyx model however which was very easy to implement, but I quickly get lost looking at the tensorflow and pytorch code, even though it is very short I feel intimidated.
The ssd mobilenet documentation also is pretty straightforward, but when I look for wavenet information about providing input in what format and interpreting output I'm having some trouble.
Its frustrating.
I'm tense, I'm poorly rested, I'm sick of having to redo crap and I'm surrounded by people who make me hypervigilant, skin crawly and tense.
How to overcome these things when I'm not at peace at all ?
I don't know. Pushing through it isn't compatable with the mindset I've been forced into.5 -
Looking for speech-to-text library python for a home automation project. SpeechRecognition doesn't really work out for me and Google won't give me any other good alternatives. Thanks!3
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Making board games in VB 6.0 with control arrays. Ah... The good old days... Control arrays were my answer to everything back then... 😎
Oooh and there was also the time I discovered the AutoIt scripting language and made MadLibs scripts that prompted for each part of speech and then typed the final result into Notepad. 😀
🤔 Or maybe if I go back even earlier... that time I discovered autoexec.bat and the escape codes for box drawing characters to make sweet startup screens for my Windows 95 install. 🤓 -
Android Text-to-speech output: "English (Germany) is not supported" (my default language) ... but no alternative language option offered.1
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Some good linux mint time tracker? Best would be if it was free(speech and beer free), being able to calculate money earned based on working hours etc and desktop client. I have no interest in using Toggl or something like that2
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Are you out of your free medium articles?😢 My Scrapy is here for the rescue.💸
This is simple application of web scraping, it scrapes the articles of medium and allows you to read or hear the article. If you use this on computer there will be a number of accents in the option.
The audio feature is provided only to the premium medium users, so here comes My Scrapy to save your 5$/month. 💸
.
Tech Stack used :
Python, beautiful soup, Django, speech synthesis
.
PS: This application was built for educational purpose and the source code for this application is not open sourced anywhere.
Fun Fact : You can still read any medium articles if they ask you to upgrade, you must be wondering how? Well, copy the link of the article and browse it in incognito mode on any browser.😂🤣
Try the app and lemme know if you liked it:
https://mymediumscraper.herokuapp.com/...4 -
I don't know how many of you uses IBM Watson api (personality insights). We use in our office. They send back a huge data known as big 5 needs etc. They find the personality of a person from his speech. like anger, happiness etc. I don't understand how they calculate them and also every client trust the data what ibm tells is correct. if it was you if you have done that feature too many questions might have come.
that's the difference between mnc and a startup2 -
I'm dreaming about an assistant system, which is omnipresent.
Popping up on screens in public, sitting in many ear listening to my speech, with my personal feed off contextbased information.
Like a juxtaposition of Wikipedia, Facebook, Twitter, etc...
I don't want to pick my device from my pocket to type in a search or to push a button and say "ok buddy".
It just have to be omnipresent and focused on my requests.1 -
I am not completely sure of the method, but it sounds like they ran a song through Google's speech to text? The result is epic:
https://youtu.be/ur560pZKRfg
Is the speech to text a neural network?1 -
how i learned what are browser user agent string?
i was learning web development and someone mentioned that term, and i was like yeah ok but deep down inside i was like why on earth would you need that?
few days after my father called me to see why his website(organisation's web protal to apply for leave) wasn't working(he thought i did something, beacuse i can code :/ ) and started scolding me that you did this, you are that and boy what a day that was, then after his speech, i learned that website said it worked best on IE 6,7 and that time IE 9 was latest and we were on windows 7 machine and I had no idea about how to get this done, and just like steve jobs said "you can't connect the dots looking forward" I googled how to change user string agent and told him that this browser has bug and you can solve it like this -
What I use to stay productive (and works):
1. Pomodoro method
https://youtu.be/dnt2lTdcn8g
2. Arnold Scharzenegger's speech
https://youtube.com/watch/...5 -
you know they call me 'good' which in their speech is an insult. do they ever pay fucking attention or can they not conceive of what a real human is like ? especially one that is conflicted on various levels as a result of abuses, loneliness, depression, survival interests, years of bullshit, etc ? I'm not immune to temptation or corruption, I'm just extremely resistant.
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Is there anyone in the whole of devRant working with VR, AR, speech or motion detection?
I keep thinking that those were just fads that disappeared, because I'm still to see a single lasting-success product.
It might be temporary, someone might invent motion control that actually works or an Alexa that does not suck (unless you speak English with an toothpaste-commercial accent), or a non-goofy AR set.
But if not a single dev in devRant is working with it, it does not seem likely.6 -
I just had a long talk with Character.ai; and well what can I say. Holy crappy crapping crap...
Is it perfect? No.
Is it above the comprehensive speech level that I though would be ever possible in my lifetime if I got asked about it just 1 or 2 years ago? Yes
Either that, or it is fake and provides replies from actual humans -
How can you make a login form in which details are filled via voice? One way is that we can use pyauto gui for fetching coordinates but it's not working as per my wish...8
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Hey you people ever recover from translating hate speech against black guys into hate speech against black comedians however many years ago ?
How do old news storyies from
A decade or more ago with the word “trans phobe” keep getting sorted to the top of my feed ? No wonder there are so many fucked up people from middle class neighborhoods these days
They have no idea how to feel
The rest of the time they reacted to this toxic world regulating thought while promoting real actual abuse against something other than laughing at a chick with dick or a old dude in drag and a wig or mr garrison that messed up them up and made them precisely what all this shitty crap was made to do to them apparently
Confused fucked up and often evil3 -
Hey, what is the best way to add speech recognition on web? Did web developers have python developer like AI/ML technology.3
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Guys does anyone use background recording library or SDK on Cordova in which it does an automatic speech recognition other than sphinx because till now sphinx has 0 accuracy and found out it's a very bad