20
kenpidev
111d

I AM TIRED

warning: this rant is going to be full of negativity , CAPS, and cursing.

People always think and they always write that programming is an analytical profession. IF YOU CANNOT THINK IN AN ANALYTICAL WAY THIS JOB IS NOT FOR YOU! But the reality could not be farther from the truth.

A LOT of people in this field whether they're technical people or otherwise, just lack any kind of reasoning or "ANALYTICAL" thinking skills. If anything, a lot of of them are delusional and/or they just care about looking COOL. "Because programming is like getting paid to solve puzzles" *insert stupid retarded laugh here*.

A lot of devs out there just read a book or two and read a Medium article by another wannabe, now think they're hot shit. They know what they're doing. They're the gods of "clean" and "modular" design and all companies should be in AWE of their skills paralleled only by those of deities!

Everyone out there and their Neanderthal ancestor from start-up founders to developers think they're the next Google/Amazon/Facebook/*insert fancy shitty tech company*.

Founder? THEY WANT TO MOVE FAST AND GET TO MARKET FAST WITH STUPID DEADLINES! even if it's not necessary. Why? BECAUSE YOU INFERIOR DEVELOPER HAVE NOT READ THE STUPID HOT PILE OF GARBAGE I READ ONLINE BY THE POEPLE I BLINDLY COPY! "IF YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE FIRST VERSION OF YOU APP, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG" - someone at Amazon.

Well you delusional brainless piece of stupidity, YOU ARE NOT AMAZON. THE FIRST VERSION THAT THIS AMAZON FOUNDER IS EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS WHAT YOU JERK OFF TO AT NIGHT! IT IS WHAT YOU DREAM ABOUT HAVING!

And oh let's not forget the tech stacks that make absolutely no fucking sense and are just a pile of glue and abstraction levels on top of abstraction levels that are being used everywhere. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOES IT THAT WAY DUH!! And when Google (or any other fancy shit company) changes it, the old shitty tech stack that by some miracle you got to work and everyone is writing in, is now all of a sudden OBSOLETE! IT IS OLD. NO ONE IS WRITING SHIT IN THAT ANYMORE!

And oh my god do I get a PTSD every time I hear a stupid fucker saying shit like "clean architecture" "clean shit" "best practice". Because I have yet to see someone whose sentences HAVE TO HAVE one of these words in them, that actually writes anything decent. They say this shit because of some garbage article they read online and in reality when you look at their code it is hot heap of horseshit after eating something rancid. NOTHING IS CLEAN ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS DONE RIGHT. AND OH GOD IF THAT PERSON WAS YOUR TECH MANAGER AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM RUNNING THEIR SHITHOLE ABOUT HOW YOUR SIMPLE CODE IS "NOT CLEAN". And when you think that there might be a valid reason to why they're doing things that way, you get an answer of someone in an interview who's been asked about something they don't know, but they're trying to BS their way to sounding smart and knowledgable. 0 logic 0 reason 0 brain.

Let me give you a couple of examples from my unfortunate encounters in the land of the delusional.

I was working at this start up which is fairly successful and there was this guy responsible for developing the front-end of their website using ReactJS and they're using Redux (WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO ELIMINATE PASSING ATTRIBUTES FOR THE PURPOSE OF PASSING THEM DOWN THE COMPONENT HIERARCHY AGIAN). This guy kept ranting about their quality and their shit every single time we had a conversation about the code while I was getting to know everything. Also keep in mind he was the one who decided to use Redux. Low and behold there was this component which has THIRTY MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN PROPERTIES WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS BE PASSED DOWN AGAIN LIKE 3 TO 4 TIMES!.

This stupid shit kept telling me to write code in a "functional" style. AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING IS USING MAP, FILTER, REDUCE! And says shit like "WE DONT NEED UNIT TESTS BECAUSE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING HAS NO ERRORS!" Later on I found that he read a book about functional programming in JS and now he fucking thinks he knows what functional programming is! Oh I forgot to mention that the body of his "maps" is like 70 fucking lines of code!

Another fin-tech company I worked at had a quote from Machiavelli's The Prince on EACH FUCKING DESK:

"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."

MOTHERFUCKER! NEW ORDER OF THINGS? THERE 10 OTHER COMPANIES DOING THE SAME SHIT ALREADY!

And the one that got on my nerves as a space lover. Is a quote from Kennedy's speech about going to the moon in the 60s "We choose to go to the moon and do the hard things ..."

YOU FUCKING DELUSIONAL CUNT! YOU THINK BUILDING YOUR SHITTY COPY PASTED START UP IS COMPARABLE TO GOING TO THE MOON IN THE 60S?

I am just tired of all those fuckers.

Comments
  • 3
    One last thing. I really hope I can find another job with similar or close pay that has nothing to do with development, so I can actually work on developing and writing code that I actually find interesting in my own time. And not listen to some delusional fucks about their stupid opinions they read online without taking a single minute to think about. Or learning the new hot shit unnecessarily because it's the new hot shit even though what we were doing was achieving all our goals with no problems.
  • 1
    Spongey boy, I'm finally going crazy. Agagagagagaga!

    For fucks sake, fuck them.
  • 7
    THANK ALL THE FUCKS FOR THIS WEBSITE. I JUST FOUND IT YESTERDAY AND I CAN'T FUCKING TELL YOU HOW FUCKING HAPPY I AM. IT IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN JUST GO! AND NO OVERLY POSITIVE RETARD WILL TELL YOU ABOUT HOW NEGATIVE IT IS. THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART <3
  • 1
  • 4
    And don't forget importing a library to make your code "clean" by replacing a single 15-line function.

    The only drawback is that now you can only setup the repo in a specific docker container and upgrading dependencies is basically impossible without rebuilding the whole thing from scratch.
  • 1
    @deadlyRants Oh god yes. I am currently experiencing this. It's just not that this library replaces 15 lines of code. It replaces the entire way you should be using the official SDK.
  • 4
    i feel you bro. am about to go out for workout so didn't read it full, but yeah the dev superiority and bro culture needs to be changed. I don't give 2 shits to people who keep on boasting about reading architecture or system design or those motivational rich dad poor dad books.

    I spent my weekend watching 2 marvel movies , some porn and a lot of youtube/insta reels. what about it?

    It all comes with experience. if one is a small company , then instead of blindly following some architecture "recommended" by google, they should instant create an architecture that works for them.

    In my previous company there were major ui changes every few weeks, so we had such an amazing seperation of ui layer from the data layer that we created a whole swapping system of UI. if any google employ would have seen it, he would have cried his eyes out screaming MVVM, and i would say fuck him. it worked for us.
  • 4
    reading the rant and imagining this guy (^_^)

    https://youtu.be/PivpCKEiQOQ
  • 0
    @darkwind Basically.
  • 1
    so much read
  • 3
    Dude the "we aim for the moon" kinda attitude with copy pasted snippets from stack overflow hit waaay too close to home. I feel ya. Get a ++
  • 3
    The examples scare me. Specially “we do not need unit tests as functional programming has no errors”.

    Gimme a list of all the things he touched. I think I should think about shorting them.
  • 0
    In my experience a lot of people with incredibly limited vision get incredibly upset if you don't blindly copy and paste every time you want to do anything.
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