A typical bouba coder:
- thinks a kilobyte contains 1024 bytes
- thinks Object.assign clones an object
- codes in react.js, thinks he knows reactive programming
- “amd is better for games, intel is better for work”
- thinks that the main advantage of ssh is that you don’t need to enter your password manually
- watches porn in incognito mode
- “crapple”
- “uhm, is it immutable?”
- thinks “persistent” means saved to local storage
- thinks designer is an inferior job because “they only draw shapes”
- thinks good accessibility is when the tab key works
- “All non-mechanical keyboards are trash”
- “C is outdated and nobody uses it anymore”
- “Zuck quit uni and now he’s a billionaire, everybody should quit”
- thinks “pointer” is a shape of the cursor

Goodbye bouba rudiment

Today is a “check your private banking” day.

Call your concierge and ask them to order a prostitute for you.

If your concierge refuses, your bank is a bouba and you should change it.

Noname Russian $17 wireless charger somehow makes less high pitched coil noise than my fancy nomad charger.

Yes it’s ugly. Yes the led is blasting and yes I painted over the led with a black nail polish.

I disassembled the nomad charger and located the coils that were making noise. I’m going to either fill them with epoxy (a common technique used by gpu enthusiasts to get rid of coil noise) or replace them completely.

TL;DR:
nomad — bouba
noname russian charger — kiki

If you’re a Russian ux engineer who is present in a Russian ux community and you fucking make your form validate on change event and that leads to the situation when a user starts entering their email and your bouba form immediately throws WRONG EMAIL errors, we don’t call you a bouba.

We call you a ебанок (ebanok) — a small, stupid and miserable creature that you can only feel hatred mixed with disgust towards.

This shit is acceptable if you’re an intern making their first shy steps creating their own personal project, but if you push this to production, you’re a ebanok. If you don’t know how to do ux, just use server-side validation or display errors with alerts on submit.

You fucking ebanok.

Boubas: adjusting their sleep schedule by forcing themselves to go to bed early. Result: bouba turns all over the bed for three hours straight trying to find a comfortable position, sweats, stands up to adjust windows and AC, now it’s too cold... ends up actually falling asleep later than usual, wakes up fucked, as always.

Boubas who think they’re kikis: take melatonin pills. Result: bouba can’t sleep without their bouba pills.

Me (the kiki): wear blue light blocking glasses from five o’clock on. No blue light = no melatonin burned, go to bed at 11pm, sleep like a teen girl after a rough teen sex with her teen boyfriend.

Yes I sometimes wake up at 3am but that’s because my brain is too kiki to sleep. I feel refreshed, TOO refreshed in fact.

@bouba we need to talk

My code is straight up kiki
Your code is always bouba

I’m proud to announce my collaboration with IZIPIZI France and Carl Zeiss. Enter the Antibouba Glasses!

Any successful public persona knows how important mental hygiene is. Our product is aimed at public personas who are either mentally special or not yet used to haters.

Antibouba glasses work like this:
1. You put them on,
2. You can’t see boubas and anything they broadcast.

Works like a charm with any medium including real life. Also blocks bouba-insinuations of non-bouba people.

Comfortable lightweight frame, highest grade oleophobic coating, also blocks 60% of blue light.

Dm me to make an appointment. Provide your kiki certificate to be included to the shortlist. My telegram is in my bio.

I always sort by new.

If you have a steady job for a long time already but still sort by price ascending, you’re a bouba. No exceptions.

Could someone explain to this old fart what the kiki and bouba thing I keep seeing around the place is all about? Is it something to do with Köhler's work, or just something the urban dictionary hasn't yet catalogued?

It's CSS quick maffs time! Consider the following code:

<div class='container flex'>
<nav class='menu flex'>
<a href='#'>Menu item 1</a>
(arbitrary amount of links)
</nav>
<button type='button'>Sign in</button>
</div>

You want the layout to look like a horizontally scrolling, single line menu with a Sign in button to the right. Both container and menu are flex containers. So, here's the code for the menu:

.menu {
overflow: auto;
}

The problem is, as there is no flex-wrap, menu will not be wrapped, and it will occupy all the space it's needed to accommodate all the elements, breaking its container. Pesky horizontal scroll appears on the whole body.

Boubas will set menu's width to some fixed value like 800px, and this is a bouba approach because bye-bye responsiveness.

Here's what you should do:

.menu {
overflow: auto;
min-width: 0;
}

.menu * {
flex-shrink: 0;
}

This way, menu will occupy exactly the width of an empty div. In flexbox, its width will be equal to all free space that is not occupied by the Sign in button. Setting flex-shrink is needed for items to preserve their original width. We don't care about making those items narrower on narrower screens, because we now have infinite amount of horizontal real estate. Pure, inherent responsiveness achieved without filthy media queries, yay!

The menu will scroll horizontally just like you wanted.

aight bye

I hereby declare Apple entered the bouba of the year shortlist.

No 120hz? Seriously? Not even 90? Not even for pro max model?

Series 6 Hermès looks good though. If a new MacBook will also be good, it’ll be good-bad-good so no bouba. But if they fucking forget about 12” again — fucking behold.

In this game I'm kiki Alto Clef
You're as always a bouba class D

You, a bouba: playstation 5
Me, an intellectual: 𝒸𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑜𝒹𝑒 𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝓊𝒷𝑒 𝒶𝓂𝓊𝓈𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝒾𝒸𝑒

If your regular running cadence is less than 200, you’re a bouba.