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My last internship (it was awesome). A programmer developed a vacation/free day request application for internal use.
Asked if I could test it for security.
The dev working on it thought that was a very good idea as he wasn't much into security and explained how the authentication process worked.
I immediately noticed a flaw just from his explanation. He said it was secure anyways (with an explanation but his way of thinking was wrong in this case). Asked if I was allowed to show him. He said he was intrigued by this so gave me a yes right away.
For the record, user levels were normal user, general admin and super admin (he was the only super admin).
Wrote a quick thingy server side (one of my own servers/domains) for testing purposes.
Then I started.
Went from normal user to super admin (his account) through a combination of XSS and Session Hijacking within 15 seconds.
Explained him where he went wrong and he wrote a patch under my guidance 😃.
That felt so fucking awesome.5 -
I was showing my girlfriend how merge sort works... Halfway through my visual explanation, she took the pen from me and finished the algorithm.
I think I have chosen wisely :')9 -
!rant
This is one of the best explanation I have ever seen for the difference between SIGTERM and SIGKILL.
Picture credit : www.itsfoss.com
8 -
So i've been a dev manager for a little while now. Thought i'd take some time to disambiguate some job titles to let everyone know what they might be in for when joining / moving around a big org.
Title: Senior Software Engineer
Background:
- Technical
- Clever
- Typically has years experience building what management are trying to build
Responsibilities:
- Building new features
- Writing code
- Code review
- Offering advice to product manag......OH NO YOU DON'T CODE MONKEY, BACK TO WORK!
Title: Dev Manager
Background:
- Technical
- Former/current programmer
- knows his/her way around a codebase.
Responsibilities:
- Recruiting / interviewing new staff
- Keeping the team focused and delivering tasks
- Architecture decisions
- Lying about complexity of architecture decisions to ensure team gets the actual time they need
- Lying about feature estimations to ensure team gets to work on critical technical improvements that were cancelled / de-prioritised
- Explaining to hire-ups why we can't "Just do it quicker"
- Explaining to senior engineers why the product manager declined their meeting request
Title: Product / Product Manager
Background:
- Nothing relevant to the industry or product line what so ever
- Found the correct building on the day of the interview
- Has once opened an Excel spreadsheet and successfully saved it to a desktop
Responsibilities:
- Making every key decision about every feature available in the app
- Learning to ignore that inner voice we like to call "Common sense"
- Making sure to not accidentally take some advice from technical staff
- Raising the blood pressure of everyone below them / working with them
Title: Program Lead / Product Owner
Background:
- Capable of speech
- Aware of what a computer is (optional)
Responsibilities:
- Sitting down
- Talking
- Clicking random buttons on Jira
- Making bullet point lists
Title: Director of Software Engineering
Background:
- Allegedly attended college/university to study computer science
- Similar to a technical product manager (technical optional)
Responsibilities:
- Reports directly to VP
- Fixes problems by creating a different problem somewhere else as a distraction
- Claiming to understand and green light technical decisions, while having already agreed with product that it will never happen9 -
##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !
Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*
Client : no, this is not the right way
Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..
Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..
Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways13 -
Notice :
We strongly advise people to use Windows as their primary operating system as it provides a totally free and a great tool or a utility known as Backdoors.
Here's a simple explanation of a backdoor for the people who don't know what a great tool it is :
Just as most of the citizens have a secondary door to their home through the yard, similarly a backdoor is a secondary access to your Computer which you (not us) can use it in cases of emergencies when you forget the passwords.
Please cooperate
Have a great day :)29 -
I really love it when people just downvote your question on stackoverflow without any explanation, it helps a lot to fix my problem thx 👌8
-
>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted
10/10, would answer again5 -
My first ever programming lesson was pretty awkward. I had zero knowledge of any coding so even the basics were new. Everytime the teacher said "string" I was kinda cringing and feeling awkward, but nobody else seemed bothered. I was laughing inside like the teenager I was, looking around for someone to share a giggle with. But nothing.
The explanation:
The word "string" in dutch means thong. Me not knowing any other uses for this word was a little flustered 😬.4 -
Dev manager: Can you fix this issue?
Me: Yeah, but i cant reproduce it using the explanation given in the ticket. Can i get a step by step guide and a confirmation that the issue is reproducible.
Dev manager: you're the lead dev, you figure it out.
askdjasfkjksadjkasd!!
Do you want me to spend an hour not developing things trying to guess? because that is how you make me spend an hour not developing things6 -
The Micromanagement God. The guy would come to the office 64 times a day, go behind my desk, stare at the monitors for a while and ask what am I working on.
He would sometimes ask for explanation of how something works because he never saw it before and then give me advice on how to use that thing he never saw before.2 -
My friend got laid off today. He was told to not come to office from tomorrow. No explanation given even after a good performance review.
Why companies are so bad at treating employees like people.6 -
I was interviewing a candidate for a senior UI dev position and I began to ask him stuff about closures, contexts, design patterns and others.
At some point, after failing to respond to most of the questions, the candidate looked at me and said something like: ‘I am amazed. You didn’t have a lot of toys when you were a kid. The PC was your only toy when you were a kid, right??’.
I looked at my junior colleague that was shadowing the interview and we couldn’t believe what the guy was asking. He was extremely serious and he was looking for a way to find an explanation for his failure.11 -
My code broke for no reason.
I added a log statement to see why.
*tests code*
It worked....
What the 何?!5 -
Why the hell can't PMs understand "it's complicated" without asking for an explanation? EVERY time any dev has said that and they ask why, guess what follows?
Technical jargon they don't get.
Do they think we're lazy and trying to wiggle out of work? Do they not trust us? Do they think explaining it to them will somehow provide some insight that will make it less complicated?
Argh10 -
How I explain what I do as job to non-techies (back-ender):
You won't ever see what I make on a screen but what you see on a screen, you see thanks to what I make.6 -
A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill
Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!
Feeds text related to database security....
Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter3 -
Don't you just love cracking dev jokes and have that one special flower start with their:
"well, technically..."
followed by an explanation showing how much expertise in the field they've gathered over the years to be able to point out your joke is not 100% accurate.
Imagine them at a party.
- Knock knock
- Well, technically you wouldn't ASK who's there, statistically people would look first, but nice try13 -
Customer: “How many concurrent users can use this app?”
Me: “web tech is stateless. (Insert explanation) So concurrency is meaningless.”
Customer: “yeah but how many concurrent users?”
Me: “infinite as long as they aren’t interacting with the server.”
Customer: “but how many?”
Me: “400”9 -
My web hosting company, DigitalOcean, sent me a sticker via mail out of the blue.
No explanation, no letter, just the sticker. I just found this to be super awesome.
7 -
I am sure this has happened to all of us in some extent with some variations.
Colleague not writing comments on code.
Ask him something like "How am I suppose understand that piece of garbage you have written when there is no comments or documentation?"
This keeps happening for a long time. Some time after, I write a kernel module using idiomatic C and ASM blocks for optimizations (for some RTOS) and purposely not write neither documentation nor comments.
When he asked for an explanation, I answered to everything he questioned as general as I could for "that trivial piece of code".
After that he always documents his code!
Win! 🏆4 -
I need to explain to a client how pc work. I use this image. Now every time my client explain what a pc is start talking with "it worked like a WC"... What I have done?
7 -
Once the system "lost" a user_id var that says who started a batch, but it was a mandatory field that was filled at the beginning of the process.
I tried to find the reason, failed, called a senior for help, he also failed to find the reason.
After a couple of hours I looked to him, he looked back and I said,
"Let's call it a solar flare bit flip?"
"It's the only logical explanation"
So it became a bit flip issue to the PM, we had a good laugh, we send as "system instability" to the client.
The bug never happened again, no one ever found the true reason, maybe it was really a bit flip 🤔1 -
Got my first response from a company i applied to a few days ago--it was a no without much explanation as to why, but at least they actually responded.3
-
Dad?.. what is a super hero?
- it's an hero amongst heroes. oftentimes ordinary heroes inherit traits from super.
It's basic inheritance, son. -
Right before lunch.
Manager: What are you working on?
Me: Explanation.
Right after lunch.
Manager: What are you working on?
..............3 -
I realized some time ago that when people ask you to do something and it is too generic, if you keep pushing for an explanation they end up getting angry at you as if you are the stupid one.
So funny, I'm always doing it on meetings now and laughing inside :)2 -
My Professor today, explaining data distribution in distributed systems:
"Imagine distributing Username data in subsets, such as A-C, D-F, G-I, J-L etc... And we have a lot of users with A .... *long pause* A bunch of assholes basically .."1 -
Fuck big tech companies. Fuck their surveillance capitalism. Fuck their monopolies and anti-competitive bullshit. Fuck their tax dodging. Fuck their fighting against the right to repair. Fuck their worship of revenue above all else. Fuck their 30% cut on everything. Fuck their world-destroying revenue models built on heartless AI and zero customer service. Fuck their automated banning systems with zero explanation as to why the fuck they've banned you, with zero fucking recourse. Fuck their amoral psychopathic CEOs and their fucking space rockets. Fuck all this shit. When I'm done with this IT project I'm fucking done with tech.
Okay I'm done now.14 -
So my boss is staring a new security oriented product and he asked one of my colleagues to prepare a presentation about the possible attacks on the product.
During the presentation there was a section on DoS attacks. The boss didn't know what DoS was and after a brief explanation, he interrupted the presentation and said DDoS is not a threat because there is no data stolen. This is a webapp.6 -
Why are clients so ignorant and stupid?!
Send them the software with specific instructions WHERE to install it. Location is important as it is a plugin for AutoCAD.
First mail with complains about the plugin doesn't work. Find out (in the mail they sent internal) that they installed the plugin somewhere else than I instructed them.
Sent an email back with (again) an explanation why it doesn't work and where to install the plugin.
Email from client: So I put the plugin here [incomplete and invalid location] and create the last folder myself...
FOR FUCK SAKE SRUPID ASS IGNORANT DOWN SYNDROM (sorry folks) MOFO CLIENT!!!!
I SENT YOU UP TO 3 TIMES WHERE TO PUT THE GODDAMNED PLUGIN!7 -
The CI just errored out with no explanation.
Like nothing...
Just code 127 on bash...
I think the CI hates me
5 -
dammit. I fucking hate it when I get stuck because of low level computing concepts and there is no explanation on Google.
like.. I understand the difference between an int and a float, but no one ever explains how you convert 32bit signed vectors to floats. or how bgra and rgba differ. or how to composite two images on a GPU. etc. the internet is great and all, but fuck, sometimes it seems as everyone is just as dumb as I am.4 -
analysing a database problem and writing a 4-line fix: 5 minutes.
preparing a foolproof manual for the manager on how to apply the fix: 15 minutes
writing a manager-level explanation what the fix does: 30 minutes.
explaining it to the manager: 30 minutes.
writing a _detailled_ explanation why we need the fix: 60 minutes.
explaining it to the manager again: 30 minutes.
figuring out why our progress is slow:
_priceless_6 -
*during project development, we use a library as core of tye app*
Manager: We need to add feature X.
Me: The library developer announced that this feature is not supported.
Manager: why is that?
Me: *giving some tech explanation*
Manager: ok, but still we need it urgently, we told the client we already have it.
Just a simple day on my work9 -
One of my theoretical CS teachers always complains and makes it sound like everything around him is an annoyance to his existence
- being late or in a bad mood? His pregnant wife is very tiring (good ol' haha women are hormonal much?)
- having to create and correct exercises for us (students) is a nuisance because it's so much work and we're not supposed to be spoon-fed (which makes the whole learning experience very demotivating)
- every explanation start is continued by at least 3 changes in the explanation itself, which makes everything super-confusing
- all his helpers are incompetent and not rising up to his expectations
Someone needs some self-reflection2 -
"The client has reported {some problem}. Do we know what has caused it?"
Dev: "{explanation} is the cause"
"Ok, was that caused by a recent change?"
Dev: "No, the system has been like that since the start"
"Ok, but who did it? Was it some recent work?"
Dev: "The system has been like that since the start"
Constant fucking blame and finger pointing.
Fuck off. -
when client sits through a 2h explanation/tutorial for his new CMS and doesn't take any notes.
2 days later, ask where to go to add a product.5 -
Today a potential client contacted me after seeing my works and said they were really interested in having me work on their project. Then, they demanded that I scheduled a call with them, using their calendar app. I did, just to them cancel it a few hours later. Without any explanation.
Deal with people is so discouraging sometimes.2 -
These moronic idiots wrote a scientific paper, and did not bother explaining the acronym they've used. 😐
https://sciencedirect.com/science/...
How am I supposed to know which fuckin CART it means? Huh? Who the fuck told you that was acceptable? Also fig 3 can get fucked too.
Your approach seemed interesting for all of two whole fuckin seconds before you fucked it with your unscientific explanation of your results in SIXTEEN FUCKING DIGITS after zero. Fuck you and fuck this and fuck that. Am I clear?
... The straw that broke the camel's back. 😑14 -
So I was reviewing my old code. Refactoring and improving the documentation.
This is a production app that is being used 24/7/365.
I see myself using "bar = foo" and there's even an explanation of what it does.
Apparently I resolved a relatively difficult Date object issue and had to use temporary variables.
Didn't know how to call them and ended up with these jewels.3 -
Just used my first "It's not a bug, it's a feature" explanation 😂. However, the irritating part is, I had to explain it to another person from IT industry (I mean testers) who is from another company.
And it's really a feature and not a bloody bug. Stop reporting it on the bugs list 😥3 -
Me vs Facebook support
Me: I'm having trouble with xyz even though I followed your instructions. You have problems with the Arabic language*insert very detailed and professional explanation here with links*
FB Support: please follow the instructions here *insert link*
Me: I already followed those, that's why I'm asking for your help. Please provide detailed instructions.
FB Support: We can't help you, we don't provide detailed instructions, please follow instructions provided in said links.
Why the fuck are you called support then huh? I can read the damn documentation.. Hell I get paid for reading the motherfucking documentation!!3 -
Dumbest experience.
Talked to recruiter, they praised I know ruby, said I needed to do a code test in ruby.
I was given 1 hour to complete 5, exercises in a codefight like thing.
1 exercise had C as the only lang option.
2 more had C and Python.
The last two has ruby too, they were permutation exercises that never completed within the time restriction (that was probably on me, but they did complete on my local ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
I told them about all this, I failed, no second chances, no explanation, no nothing.2 -
So I was talking to a Boomer about my job and why it's not "so easy, all you need is a laptop". And we were talking about specifically how the company makes a ton of money from my work, I've seen the contract, I get like less than 5% of what I make for the company.
After explaining a couple of things like this. They go back to then "why don't just buy a laptop then?"
Like, mother fucker! Did you just ignore my entire explanation just because don't understand it?44 -
When i'm stuck on a problem for hours, as soon as someone asks me what the problem is the solution hits me like a brick wall mid explanation.6
-
Installing Unreal plugins from github be like:
clone, try to build
unreal: nah
me: can you tell me why?
unreal: nah
me: please?
unreal: nah
...
me: With the powers of MS VS I command you, tell me why the fuck you aren't building!?!
unreal: yeah I need that dependency in this plugin fo rmotion tracking
me: we don't do motion tracking *comment it out*
unreal: there I build it.
... I feel like I was a Karen, went to talk to the manager (VS) who gave me a proper explanation to why the employee had to behave this way.2 -
anytime any solution is "just execute this on commandline", without so much as a hint of explanation what said "this" does2
-
Found a code comment that states, "//Don't remove. In for a reason." with no further explanation. Um, shouldn't all the code in this project be in for a reason?4
-
When project managers copy and paste clients' vague requests word for word with no further explanation
2 -
fren: do you have a date this valentines?
me: nah fam
fren: what u doin rn
me: [Insert technical explanation of Kubernetes here]
fren: [goes offline]2 -
Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site4
-
My little pleasure of today.
I asked a question on Stack Overflow.
It was closed with reason: "off-topic" "tip-of-the-iceberg" question.
I followed the link to the explanation of why it was closed.
There was a discussion in metaSO, about closing or not those kind of questions.
It seems somebody "won" the discussion arguing that was the right thing to do....
I DOWNVOTED HIM.
now I feel much better.3 -
Once upon a time we were normal remote professionals and our sprint meetings were characteristically professional, no more, no less.
Until.
one of our juniors, a Southern sports-bro type, suddenly started saying "SIR" to the scrum master in literally every sentence.
"Good morning sir". "Yes sir." "Thank you sir." "I can do that sir."
SOMEHOW this plague caught on to half of the male members of our team like we're in the military or something. We have ONE veteran and ZERO Indians and I can't think of a logical explanation for why we're suddenly sir-ing each other and people who aren't even high level executives.9 -
Concerning my last rant, some explanation:
In short:
Skype and security agencies spy on all the people.
More context:
To the extent, that Skype employees suffer mentally from excessive porn.
That's what large amounts of users did on this platform the last two decades.
So the affected had to bring their case to national, maybe even super national courts.
Which gave in to their claim.
Thus bringing the employees into another salary category, so, compensating the damage done.
What sounds like a unions topic reveals large scale mass surveillance of everybody without exception.
And describes some effort in machine led (picture) recognition.2 -
Here's two tips for doing better posts that a lot of people seem to need:
1) Use smaller paragraphs instead of a giant one.
Be nice to readers and avoid posting single giant walls of text.
2) If you post something short and the first comment is "why?", then you're just annoying readers. Whenever you do a statement like "I'm having a shitty day" or "X technology is garbage" please include enough explanation or context that motivated the post, don't make users chase you for explanations.16 -
I don't know if anyone else here uses kik but there's something that's been bugging me for a while
Occasionally (frequently) bots start a conversation with you (the typical "come visit my porn website etc etc), right? Now, this has happened to me at least 20 times now, and EVERY single time, the bot's profile picture has loads of translucent yellow stars edited in, and I have no idea why
I can't think of a possible explanation for this, and I've put a lot of thought into it
Attached is a cropped version of what I mean
19 -
me: *goes to stack overflow to get some points*
*searches for questions I only know*
*scrolls down to find unanswered questions*
*keeps scrolling*
*finds a question I can answer*
*types in my answer*
*finds out that someone has answered
the question with better explanation*
*decides not to submit my answer*
*looks for other questions to answer*
*keeps scrolling*
*scrolls some more*
*scrolls for the last time*
*realizes I'm Jon Snow*
*exits stack overflow*3 -
So we were having our Computer Science lab just this morning and this girl wasn’t able to get the right output for a JAVA program.
Actual answer: 5.71
Her answer: 6.34
Her explanation: “Maybe I’m not getting the output because I am on a different system, try this on your computer, please?”
My reaction :
6 -
My fav interview was at my previous job. It was a junior position. The lead was a very friendly and wise guy. He kept pushing me (positively) with subtle hint until I get a code right. After completing each problem he give me elaborate explanation about the meaning of the problem and how to approach it from other angles. It felt like I'm in front of buddha who is making me realize the inner working of the world. Didn’t get 50% of the questions right, still he recruited me because "You were very curious and you were having fun solving problems". Best one and half years of my career.4
-
Love it when testers loose there shit and take loads of screenshots, arrows everywhere, the lot...
But no explanation of what they are actually trying to show.
😂 -
Me: hey mr backend guy, front end guy here, having some trouble with $thing, here's a detailed explanation of my issue, could you let me know if $thing is still active?
Him: hi
Me: ... hi, so about that issue I'm running into...
<crickets time="1hr"/>
Him: ok........checking ....
<crickets time="2hr"/>
Him: (offline)
SSSSSSOOOOO guess I'm figuring this one out myself -
git commit messages
at work:
Only related changes on commit
"Detailed explanation of changes
- This bug
- That bug"
personal project:
1732 changed files
"Changes"3 -
Honestly? I was always good at maths and creativity. And so, programming was natural to me. I was always good at it with minimum effort. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
... Algorithms were a whole other story tho. I'm still not confident 'bout any algos I program from scratch. But hey, if it works, it works. (that became my motto about algos, kinda)
Forgot one thing tho: looking at relevant code to whatever I'm doing, be it in a tutorial or stackoverflow. I don't need the text or tutorial or explanation, I need to see code examples.2 -
Email (not a ticket) comes in this morning: "You need to make X change to y thing, yesterday!!" with of course the obligatory million + 1 Cc's including unrelated directors across multiple sites.
Me as my helpful self: I expected this request, I'll get it sorted asap
Director 1: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
Manager: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
Submitter: *calls*
Me: ignore
Director 2: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
..............
As a bonus rant, after implementing the change, manager calls and criticises my technical explanation to the submitter who I know is fully capable of understanding the way it was explained 😂
Happy Thursday!3 -
If there is 2 books you should read before trying to tackle TAOCP... this might be on it.. as well as the Concrete Mathematics book.
Anyway. This book covers not just the fundamentals of modern algorithms and data structures but it also makes the leap to understanding multithreading and algorithms using multithreading.
Some argue the certain concepts in this book are presented without explanation of how they work, but I guess that should be something the reader try’s to figure out from another book or constructive thinking critically. Keeps the reader on their toes for understanding.
This is also the reason many people suggest the sedgewick algorithm books, of which will be posted another day.
16 -
I don't judge whoever wrote this line in one of the projects I've been working on
return 0.ToString()
Like, really, there has to be a LOGICAL, and REASONABLE explanation behind it, right?... RIGHT?!4 -
One of my colleagues tried upgrading his Windows 7 laptop to Windows 10... he had multiple issues getting the installer to run but got past it after a couple of hours troubleshooting.
He left for lunch when it got to 81% installed, and got back an hour later to find "Something Happened" proudly displaying on-screen.
He clicked 'okay' and it just started rolling back to Windows 7 with no explanation as to what happened, or even any error codes!
Thanks Windows!
As helpful as always!5 -
How to explain “What is a Python environment?” to some PhD candidates that don’t have experience in programming?
I will teach Python this semester and I am trying to come up the right explanation.21 -
UE4 to UE5 migration is not going smoothly. Particularly, UE5 likes to break physics. So now I have to deal with jittery objects that sometimes shoot themselves across the room.
... The reasonable explanation is that the env is haunted. 👀👻16 -
There's an app in my phone that shows local train timings and stuff. One thing that fucks my mind up is, even if my WiFi is turned off, it can still detect where I'm at and if I'm at train station, it pops up a notification that this station has free/public WiFi and I can use it.
HOW THE FUCK YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT FREE WI-FI IF MY PHONE'S WI-FI IS TURNED OFF.5 -
I was talking to my non-tech gf about how a colleague of mine didn't understand priority queue and show led her an example, during explanation fucked up the example and duplicated priorities of 2 values but they came up in the unexpected order. She wanted to find the logic in it and blamed the computer for being dumb, but it has been ~45 minutes, she has Wikipedia about binary trees & linked list open as well as simple graphs visualising both + armed with pen and paper trying to understand how it all all works..
Achievement Earned?
P.S I am either creating a monstrosity (Frankenstein style) or recruiting a fresh mind to our ranks, either way I am proud af 😢😊😍8 -
Wow what an eloquent detailed explanation. Thank you for clarifying what the problem is. Now i know exactly what i have to do. You F U C K I N G TRASH LOWEST PILE OD GARBAGE OF HUMAN WASTE CORPORATION HOW ARE YOU NOT FUCKINGGGGGGGG BANKRUPT YOU FUCKING CANCEROUS SHITHOLE FUCKING ASSLICKERS FKKKKKINGGGGG GAYPAL FUCKKKKK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I HOPE YOUR FAMILIES DIE IN CAR CRASHES WHOEVER IS RUNNING GAYPAL
MY FUCKING MONEY IS STUCK IN THIS FUCKING PILE OF TRASH HOLE CALLED GAYPAL AND I CANT FUCKING GET IT OUT. ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL GAYPAL BLOCKS MY ACCOUNT FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND STEALS MY MONEY, LEGALLY????!!!!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN
24 -
I am not good with kids. I know I know. Last week or so, my managers kid thought it would be a good idea to hijack my meeting. I was sharing my screen and on full blown explanation mode, only to realise after my explanation, it was the kid who was looking at my face and not the boss man.
God I panicked. I was like 'Who the hell are you?'
--------*INSERT AWKWARD SILENCE HERE *---------2 -
"I don't like it. Fix it."
No more explanation available. Plenty of constructive criticism to work on there then... -
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)
9 -
Repository maintainers that close the issues without much explanation or a good solution just to lower the number of open issues...(┛ಸ_ಸ)┛彡┻━┻4
-
> be me
> post reasonable question on SO
> get downvoted the next minute without explanation
> come to see that downvote has been removed
> yay.exe
> come to see someone explained that why is that question wrong
> totally unrelated comment
> gets downvoted again
> https://stackoverflow.com/questions...9 -
really fucking hate those PM types who will hear a smart sounding term or buzzword used by a developer, and then proceed to overuse it (mostly incorrectly) in every fucking conversation as if it's le mot du jour.
or better yet, when the fucking parrot proceeds to drive a meeting with PO's by regurgitating verbatim your explanation you gave to him 2 hours before as if he knows that the fuck he's talking about. oh but when someone asks a question for clarification - "hey dev, you wanna take this one?"
hey PM, you wanna lick my balls?3 -
This one is more for the (surprisingly many) german folks here.
Explanation: Nobody would translate children to "Kinder" in the context of nodes in software.
The translation would be correct in the context of an ordinary family, but in software the translation of e.g. "Reply(s)" would be far more appropriate.
14 -
Our stand up takes an hour everyday.
Explanation: everyday the same two guys pretty much hijack stand up by talking about tickets that ONLY involve them and has no relevance or dependency to the 8 other guys standing idle. Eventually I suggest they take the conversation offline because the rest of us aren't required. Scrum master gets offended and looks at it me like I've just spat in his face.
Productivity out the window or am I at fault?6 -
Is it just me or do other people think those tutorials you run across on YouTube where it is just a screen recording and background music are super annoying. I would like at least a little explanation other than you typing in notepad.2
-
Stereotypical Indonesian CS Lecturers :
"This is the code *showing slides containing a Java code*, write it on your IDE and run it"
*waiting for explanation*
"Good, blablabla *doesn't explain a single line of code, and keep reading the slides* understand?"
Fucking cunt! I fuckinf mad because not everybody as lucky as me being a self-thought dev, or atleast you can't expect everybody as smart as you!5 -
It's like a stab into your fucken heart when your coding competition entry gets rated "you did everything perfect! :) But it's not enough for the top 3. :(" with multiple minus points across different requirements bUT NO GOSH DARN EXPLANATION WHAT I DID WRONG. I PARTICIPATED TO TEST MYSELF AND LEARN SOMETHING, NOT GET PUNCHED IN THE FUCKEN FACE FOR NO REASON FFS MAN.
-
Here’s how my Friday night is going:
def signin
if should_not_sign_user_in?(stuff)
return redirect_to :nope
end
# signin logic
end
The guard says I shouldn’t sign the user in. It logs the details of why. I read the logs; they’re all correct. It logs the return value, which is false, and the user gets signed in anyway.
Wat.
There’s a return and a redirect there!
This is only happening on the QA server, too, so something fishy is going on.5 -
If you don't know what clearing cache does to the state of the fatherfucking app then why do you fucking clear it? It fucking breaks the flow. Your maggot-infested ass is then coming up with his own explanation why you cleared the fucking cache. If you don't even have a cunt of an idea why we use the app's local storage, why do you fucking do it? You neanderthal rotten piece of sun-baked shit.
Hey, the app was taking to much time to send the request, so I cleared the app data. Now I have to login again and start over. Maybe check your fucking internet connection?
Fuck you. Fuck your cunt of a face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCKING FUCK YOU.3 -
Once i worked on an application which has very long form and submit to a soap endpoint (post). I felt my life was so pointless when testing after i made changes. So I automated the testing by generating post request so i can just run it.
I filled the user name with Brandon Boyd, Alan Turing or Ryan Gosling. And it increments like Boyd1, Boyd2.
Once my colleague found a bug, the data never get saved but all the boyds persists. He knew it was me, who uses that kind of name
My barbaric manager (was involved) kind of pointed his finger at me. I sweat a bit though i couldn't find logical explanation why Boyds stay. but turned out someone changed the sqlscript. -
!rant (all ranters should read)
Today I was at university, doing some C low-level stuff. Then I looked my Professor.
Holy fucking shit, this man (and obviously the others) learned programming without google, stackoverflow, youtube and online doc/forum/examples/explanation.
I also believe that some of them could not compile and run at home their software.
MASSIVE RESPECT FOR YOU ALL !1 -
Today I answered 3 not trivial SO questions spending about 30 minutes at each of them, caring about formatting, explanation, sources, documentation, links and tests, and also paying attention at catching questions immediately after they were posted and without other answers by faster users.
End of the day: 0 points1 -
Father of a monkey-whoring, succulent dick ass fuck, ever heard of minding your own business? I don't care if you are the FUCKING CFO or whatever the fuck you are, don't fuck with the fucking code. Don't try to come up with your own cum-gargling explanation if an HTTP request results in a FUCKING 503.
You goat-fucking piece of cunt-shit of a fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!4 -
Send the dev a request for a design before they do a delicate process. They send back some mess done in MSPaint and a ton of select statements, with no context or explanation.
Send back an example of what they need to work through. Get back a response saying that the previous spec was just a draft, and once they complete development they’ll complete the design.
Why would I want a design once it was too late? What would be the point? -
I've written an insertion sort algorithm in my own esoteric programming language!
I also like to call it 'San Francisco sort'.
Explanation: https://github.com/iamgio/pikt/...
8 -
Several years ago, I heard from a friend who was doing assignments for students on the side. Quite a hustle. His story began when he wanted to figure out why can't these students be able to draw their own database tables, relationships, UML, etc. That's what school has to be teaching them and then he was told that they were learning through MS Access. He goes and tell me that even though this is a lame way of teaching database design, its definitely easier to explain through hands-on and less typing mistakes, as according to the lecturer he met. Making the explanation more visually appealing and helpful for understanding.
OK I get it, but somehow that taught them the wrong way of database design from the beginning. I'd prefer getting them to start writing SQL commands from day 1 and play em at some DB VM. Keep em as real as it gets.
Now I have my own students asking for help in their assignment and also asked for tutoring lessons in web development. So I gave them the crash course in HTML, CSS and Javascript. I've asked them if they've used anything of what I taught them in school. They go and tell me that they've been taught web development through Wordpress. Oh WTF!? I havn't talked to their lecturer yet but it better be a really good explanation to teach these youngsters in a flawed and bloated PHP CMS framework for "web development".2 -
So a little bit explanation to my last fuck rant
I was trying to make a cuda code faster, specifically eigen value decomposition for 12 by 12 matrices. For a week a made a fast and accurate version and a faster but less accurate version, both are faster than cuda. Then I was thinking about how to make the faster version more accurate.
Then we had this idea of using power iterations. And honestly I hoped it won’t work. But then, fuck me it worked, which means I had more work to do.
But hey, at least now I’m way faster than cuda on this18 -
Apart from linux, it has to be vue.js, quasar and express.js
Vue.js had made my development extremely easy, faster and managable
Quasar brought great Styling and various other powerful features to vuejs. Thus helping save even more time
And express.js don't need any explanation. Better code organization and easy to get started. -
I see a lot of talk about complex numbers, and yet
for all they are worth, I have not once been
able to find an explaination on how to calculate
them by hand, namely the real component.
For example
(-5)**0.5
(1.3691967456605067e-16+2.23606797749979j)
2.23606 is obviously just the square root of 5, but where the hell did 1.369 come from?
Apparently no one fucking knows, and no site I've found gives a simple explanation for someone new to math in general.
"use a calculator", "hit a button",
How about no.9 -
dear fucking client, why are you giving me only the "???" as an answer to my well written documentation and explanation about the latest bugfixing.
WHY? What could I possibly get out of this shitty answer? #fml4 -
Best explanation of callback from Stackoverflow:
Guy 1 to Guy 2: Hey dude I wanna do something when a user clicks in there, call me back when that's happens alright?
Guy 2 calls back Guy 1 when a user clicks here -
You shitty brat, if my HR staff didn't call you, they didn't call you. Still don't understand? Ok, simpler explanation. Because THEY DO NOT WANT YOU.
Just because we know each other doesn't mean you will get hired at my work. And you are not even a developer, you are a freaking sales man. Why the heck do you keep asking me about it?1 -
Tried to write a short article about Javascript IIFE modules, ended up explaining about function block scoping all the way to closures before I eventually get to the IIFE module explanation itself...
I'm really bad at this 😓1 -
My thesis supervisors gave me a set of templates and guidelines for the whole thing and argh.
they constantly assume that I've no fucking idea about academic writing despite the very good graded talks and texts I handed in in the past - granted, they probably often deal with inexperienced students.
but what they've given me.. a) the thesis template does not work, they fucked up some latex packages and b) there's a almost passive aggressive 3 page explanation on academic writing and how wo work with sources and references and they forgot the fucking references lol. There are none included and the references all go like [?].15 -
Eu article 13/17/...
Can anyone post a link to summarized explanation what these are? I'm on mobile so long texts won't do
tia40 -
Okay so I've written a string reverser in my own esoteric programming language.
Explanation: https://github.com/iAmGio/pikt/...
5 -
Developing a web portal to handle college placements.
During the showcasing of the project ,this senior lecturer comes up to us and just when we started the explanation,he stops in mid sentence and asks "where is the artificial intelligence". When the entire portal was built to automate the process,he wanted some AI.
We were dumbstruck. The stupid expectations of senior faculty never cease to amaze me.
3 -
So today our IT admin was walking around with a T-shirt of a local recycling company. On said shirt he had a nametag and several Microsoft product badges.
His explanation for this was, that he is here for recycling Microsoft products as he is updating everything to Office365.3 -
You know when people here complain about idiots in stackoverflow downvoting without providing explanation?
Yet the same is being done here.
I made a post here about a recent porn game, and such game is relevant because it's top 3 in earnings in patreon.
if you don't think top 3 patreon making 50k a month is interesting for a post, then you're a prejudiced moron.
What rule am I breaking? I didn't post any pornographic image. I didn't even share a link to the game.
Do people here have a fucking problem with sex?
Is sex, the very cause of our existenxe in first place, so problematic that we need to downvote it?4 -
Be honest.....have you ever given a completely bullshit technical explanation to a customer or your boss to cover the fact you or somebody else has screwed up?3
-
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
> Make a small PR
- Added missing license text
- Cleaned up the tiny README
> Wait
> @ the author, they don't have
any other way of contacting them
> Wait more, month+
> Denied, no explanation
> Be pissed, head over to devrant12 -
So i’m making my first Angular app here. I commited the first code setup and shot in the PR. I got 40+ comments so i’ve been fixing them all day yesterday.
A part of the comments i don’t understand yet so i ask if the colleage can watch with me and explain ehat how and why.
What does this nitpicker motherfucker do? Add more fucking comments to the PR and totally ignores my requests for explanation. Fucking anti social dick.4 -
Am I the only one that likes to see the code before the explanation when trying to learn something??7
-
Official documentation > StackOverflow.
StackOverflow sometimes has well-grounded and elaborate explanations on a question by well-meaning and knowledgeable developers, but oftentimes the answers also contain outdated or 'dirty' solutions and so it's always to be taken with a grain of salt.
However, in cases like the official Spring documentation, the IETF RFC's and the MDN, those provide a correct explanation to the problem, even if it requires some reading around. When it comes to serious and correct work, I favor these over the bro-zone that is StackOverflow.6 -
Trying to make an Intellij plugin and coming across and error I don't understand. I google the error(s), find ONE result in English that describes EXACTLY what my issue is, and the answer on StackOverflow just directs me to the documentation with a brief explanation copied directly from someplace, WHICH I WAS USING AND AM STILL HAVING THE ERROR! And it's accepted, too!1
-
Yesterday, I received an email from the boot-camp that my contract was terminated because of HARASSMENT. They kicked me out from Slack and Github. They're treating me like a sh*t! I haven't done anything bad against them. In fact, they treated me poorly and unjustly. They didn't have an explanation about the HARASSMENT that I've done. Where is the justice about this?
25 -
!rant but a question
Anyone has a dumb/plain explanation of these?
I was like WTF is that when I discovered those options.. I googled and it's connected to arabic language.. but I cannot find any explanations what each of those options do..
So if anyone know and has the time and patience to clarify, please do! Thanks in advance!
3 -
Not something I would usually do but just want to give GarryExplains a shout out to any dev's wanting to learn some theory of a variety of topics, mostly want to shout out the bellow video, not because of the actually programming behind it but just what I think is a bloody great explanation of how CPU instruction sets actually behave and function...
https://youtube.com/watch/...2 -
ATTN: ALL DEVZ
I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!
Wishful thinking.... 🤔4 -
I have a web app that is currently running on a production server with no issues, but at the same time, it isn't working on my machine which I used to write, test, and deploy the app. The thing is, I haven't touched the code for a full month.
Now, I know this has to be logical and that there must be an reasonable explanation for all of this that I do not know yet.
However, and out of frustration, my mind wants to believe that there's some sorcery involved here or that a cosmic ray has actually penetrated the machine and messed its registers.
Damn the cosmic ray!3 -
So, yeah it's been a month in the industry for me now. Rant time - I got mind fucked when I saw my teammate making a drop-down list which was editable, when I confronted him and explained him the disadvantages of that. His explanation is that user will not take advantage of that as the feature is for our internal use. But on a positive note he fixed it.2
-
Rejection 4 / 1000 of my 1000 job applications TikTok journey
Another reply with apsolutely no constructive feedback for me. No explanation why they decided not to choose me. Just fuck you we'll go for the next one. No. Fuck YOU
7 -
Now I didn't do this myself, but I've heard from a senior developer that you can modify C's if statement to require an ADDITIONAL 99% chance, making the code fail 1% of the time with no explanation.2
-
I already forgot what are the different sorting algorithms I learned last week. I already forgot sin, cos, tan, log, and some Math concepts in school. How not to forget these things easily? I could recall them once I see a sample and a brief explanation.4
-
Updated my Azure aide project to ASP .NET Core 2.0.
Works perfectly in develop in Debug and Release.
Deploy to Azure.
502.5
No error logs, no feedback, no explanation.
K den.1 -
I'm so f*cking tired to have a lot of work rejected just because "I don't like it", because "today I like this thing, but tomorrow maybe"...
1. You are NOT even a designer
2. You have NOT a f*cking plan on what we are going to do in the next weeks
3. You are crazy AF because you pretend to have always what you ask without any kind of explanation, changes included..
YOU ARE NOT A LEADER.
YOU ARE JUST A bOSS.4 -
I am studying an online data science course in python offered by Microsoft.
The instructor uses Surface book and also has a Mac book on his desk for backup because windows.
He uses chrome all the time for his explanation to run jupyter.
The point is even they know their tech is shit but still "Windows has set your default browser to edge" - this happens
¯\_(ツ)_/⁻3 -
As an -absolute beginner-, don't try to prove yourself by doing everything on your own after only a short explanation.
Rather ask as many questions as you need to finish it. One questions more now, saves 20 headaches later. -
Which fucking cunt keeps thinking putting redo on ctrl+shift+z or some other retarded shortcut is a good idea
Lost a whole paragraph of technical explanation because I didn't realize and then couldn't redo my panic undo 😠11 -
Quick tip:
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.
God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK
Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.
tl;dr gone off topic -
Mixing PHP and HTML code with a bunch of if-elses, creating a docker-compose script thats uses the remote database password (and its committed) and set API calls to IP fucking addresses with no explanation. Just make POST requests to undocumented APIs.
How the fuck are these people allowed to code?????3 -
Me: I need some time to understand this app(taking over it from another developer without explanation)
Boss: I need to bill the client, please finish all the pending features.
Me: :/1 -
"The reddit" or forty two function
ary[41] == ary.forty_two
Explanation https://quora.com/Why-is-Array-fort... -
!dev
Every day that goes by, I learn something about myself.
In my mind I have an explanation of who I am, which I usually think is fixed.
Presumed flaws, presumed virtues presumed traits.
All forming an alibi of my presumed self.
You know, a good person who is a bit of an asshole, an advocate for the underdog but who rarely does anything brave.
And also, a 100% straight guy.
But then you go to the movies to see Aladdin, and an hour into the movie for like 30 seconds Will Smith shows up like a trap, wearing make up and shit and you think to yourself "I could totally fuck this dude on his fucking face".
What a curve ball.1 -
This is my first blog article about the history and how JavaScript works
https://dev.to/thegamefreak720/...1 -
Best Explanation I found of every(), filter(), map(), some() and foreach() methods in Javascript
(at least for me as a non-js dev)
could help someone there
https://coderwall.com/p/_ggh2w/...2 -
Installed centos 7, docker, standalone kubernetes on dev machine in 20 minutes.
Spend 8 hours starting fucking dashboard service, still no fucking luck, no fucking logs, nothing.
Fucking pending states without fucking explanation.
All the fucking pods are running fine except one fucking dashboard. I want to see the fucking dashboard.
Fucking shit fuck.
Probably as always if I clean the machine and reinstall everything it would start normally, without fucking problem.
Debugging fucking containers is so much pain in the ass, fuck.
I think it’s enough for today.2 -
Why does nobody talk about security, even as basal on user accounts?
Its rare when i find a a framework/tool/talk/library/spec where the docs give an explanation, and more important an example of doing it the right way, and i mean without going into the history of ancient Greece and their scytale stick11 -
Sites requiring a maximum password length, does it mean they store the passwords in clear text?
Or what would be a plausible explanation for this stupid requirement?5 -
That one colleague coming up with questions unrelated to his teams field, not grasping your explanation, then answering bitchy because he doesn't understand and finally sends you a new (totally moronic) jira ticket after you stop responding to him, totally killing your last bits of motivation and concentration for that day.
fuck you. -
To all who were influenced by the React license thing, watch this:
https://youtu.be/hnHsZQ1JDII
It's a really good explanation of the situation and how software patents and licenses work
PS. FunFunFunction does really cool videos about JS and functional programming so also check out his other stuff if you're into that kind of thing2 -
Couldn't find any satisfactory explanation online, so here is a question. Discussions idea etc are welcome.
How is the colour fill tool implemented in paint or other software?
I remember it running superfast on old 98 machines. Got me curious to think how they achieved it.
(correct me if I am wrong, recursion won't be a good idea for large images.)4 -
I screen candidates for this freelancing company part time and i meet all kinds of people. I asked a self proclaimed senior engineer the difference between a get and a post request and he told me with the utmost confidence. “they are both the same”. That’s it. No other explanation was offered.
We were both just stared through the screen awkwardly.11 -
Universal rule of opening tickets
Me: *opens ticket on basically ANY ticketing system EVER* (could be internal, from the customer, some random bug online, anything...).
Me: writes detailed explanation of issue, because I know working on tickets is hard. Of course I include that I tried steps A, B, C, and that I haven't been able to do D because of reasons.
Ticket derp: Comments...
"Hey, have you already tried A, B, C? Also you should totally do D first."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I TAKE TIME OUT OF MY FUCKING DAY TO WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN AND EVEN FORMAT IT NICELY, JUST TO MAKE YOUR MISERABLE LIFE EASIER, AND YOU DON'T EVEN READ IT YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE BALLSACK!? FUCK OFF!1 -
FML!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THE COMBINATION OF XAMARIN FORMS AND MY COWORKERS.
Explanation:
I had to refactor all of our views because my coworkers did anything in the code-behind file from the views but the code should be in the viewmodels.
I had an "Unhandlex Exception" without any stacktrace or error message for a hour. What was the error? In the xaml file of the view was still an OnClicked-handler of a button but i removed the method from the view-code-behind-file.
FML1 -
Meet the rubber duck I use for debugging.
He calls himself Pudge. And every time I make a mistake in my explanation, he butchers me ☺️.
1 -
"This site uses cookies" is the most useless thing ever... Who fucking cares if it does. What is next? We should put explanation how DNS server or apache works?7
-
Sr Engineers that want other to just do what they say with no context or explanation
You are probably right but just explain why!3 -
Don’t you just love a senior devs that starts screaming at you if you ask a for an explanation more than once? Aaaaaaaaand there’s no documentation 😐
-
I'm writing a couple of tutorials on web development, nothing really professional, just my perspective on explaining things from scratch.
It's funny how quickly things get hard to explain.
You try to explain web frameworks and you have to differentiate between client side and server side frameworks.
But some people don't know what client or server means.
So you try to explain what the client-server model is.
But then the word model is not clear to some people, it's like a jargon word in software, so you have to give some kind of explanation for the word.
And so on.
This complexity and layering of terms is normal on every science, but I feel terms deserve proper explanation and disambiguation, which isn't usually done.
So far I don't feel a lot of things are as complex as they are considered in an atomical sense, they are complex in the sense of requiring understanding of layers that are very simple in themselves.
It is quite a challenge to be the least obscure, to give explanations with the least number of possible interpretations.6 -
I'm actually looking for a new job.
A friend of mine: "I heard that company X is looking for informaticians."
Me: "And what is the job exactly? Do you know which languages/technologies they are asking for?"
Friend: "Fixing computers/printers problems and form employer on how to use product Y"
Me: "No way."
Friend: "Why?"
Me: "..." (Long explanation on the difference between developer and technical support)
I should have understood when she said "informatician" instead of "developer"..1 -
how many times did anyone come across a bug that you mentally try and regurgitate over and over to find an explanation for but just ended up saying : fuck it! ?
-
---- Startup RantLife ----
In this episode, we introduce Brian, this guy is skilled and tries to provide an answer or explanation for everything (even if it's not work related).
By now you may guess this is the one that I know everything and you should listen to me type.
The problem with Brian that he wants only his solution to things and to be written exactly as he sees it and arguing with him is a waste of time.
How do you guys deal with developers like Brian?3 -
I've honestly never understood the reason behind the hate PHP gets.
Almost everyone says they hate it, but I am yet to see a proper explanation for it.15 -
I remember being a TA for an intermediate java class. I tried helping as many people as I could, but some of them were doomed. Their code looked like it was written by Satan himself. I would try explaining why their code was bad, but it was like speaking another language (no pun intended). It was also the first class where people needed to use git... I don't need any more explanation there.3
-
Fuck companies that want you to build new systems that are a superset of what they already have when they can't even tell you what they have now. Fuck you with your bullshit, nonsensical, self-contradicting, third-assed diagrams--some half-UML, half-clip-art, half-pie-chart drivel. If you're the CTO of a company and you want me to think long and hard about rebuilding your distributed systems, you can think long and hard about expressing what you already have. And NO: a verbal explanation pow-pow WebEx over your DSL connection with your protege that mumbles worse than an Atlantan rapper doesn't count as fucking "knowledge transfer" of your fucking architecture, FOR FUCKS SAKE.
-
Just had my first lesson of the course Web Development. We got an explanation of what html, css, js and php are. Nothing bad ever happened from repeating what you already know, so yeah..
But then came the horror: We need to make a website in FUCKING WORDPRESS!! I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD A FUCKING WEBSITE WITHOUT A FUCKING SHIT CMS!!
So I showed the teacher my personal website and asked if I could use and/or extend that. They loved it, but I still need to build a website using fucking wordpress!! Not even using php! No, we need to build it with the UI of wordpress.
I know that's not even hard. It's just.. WORDPRESS!!
I guess I'll just have to live with it :/2 -
Why the fuck is midnight 00:00 and midday 12:00? Every other hour is the same for Am and Pm in 12 hour time. I can’t find any explanation other than all of humanity being unable to count.
All date/time libraries must encounter this bullshit. There are so many similar levels of bullshit with everything related to time handling. Time zones, stamp formats, minimum intervals overflows are all so fucked.14 -
You know what really rustles my jimmies, the fact that a lot of people (especially older people) disregard your profession or refuse to talk about because "i dont understand dem computers" so they generally have no idea what you're actually doing and you cannot give an explanation.
Ffs, I don't really understand chemistry but I would still like to know what you do at work/school and maybe even learn sonething. There is no fucking reason for why this also shouldnt apply for IT.5 -
I backed this Kickstarter project for a programmable E-ink display called "Displio". The documentation is about 40 lines and is basically just a list of globals without any explanation followed by a link to MomentJS docs. worst of all you have to modify the page with an inspector to see it all.
-
Is anyone here up for a long convoluted explanation of how exactly I predicted the last major btc peak/trough within just a couple hundred dollars?
There's actually a pretty precise reason it did what it did. Basically when china started tightening the screws, userbase fell along with price.
And when the price of an asset falls *with* userbase or ownership numbers, there is a delay in reevaluation, and therefore "current" market value doesn't accurately reflect true value.
I can show the math but again its convoluted. Has to do with userbase versus market cap.
Not a financial advisor fyi and I could be wrong.3 -
My stupid Messages app won't send urls with a .xyz on the end. No error, no explanation. It just won't send. What the fuck?1
-
So, PM who has arranged 1.30 hours of meeting to ask us about 'the agenda' requested by client, decided to send 'another agenda' asking explanation what client exactly wants, which clearly wasn't the agenda of this meeting.2
-
So I have to mimic some codes that I was not given any explanation because it's from a team that is, like, the only one that does not like the others and we have to work with them.
All the teams do codes with similar coding rules
and then there is this team. Weirdly enough, they are the most strict on their rules. -
We had a course on GUI and Databases as part of my bachelor's degree. It was a basic introductory course (I am a mechanical engineer) where we were expected to design some tables and build a simple front end in VB6.
But the instructor was so bad that he hardly taught any VB code at all. And as far as theory on databases was concerned, about 80 percent of the lectures involved some generic introductory statements followed by an explanation of the terms DDL, DML and DCL. I do not remember him writing even a single SQL query to explain to us how it's done. -
Sometimes I wonder if other developers in my team are paid by lines of codes they produce, because I cannot find explanation for shit they write
-
Can someone explain Scrum to me, like everything, what it is, why it's used, why it's effective, cases where it isn't effective, what the roles are etc, I've tried to understand it online but to no avail (need a childish explanation I guess)14
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I have been asked to submit an explanation since i didnt complete the work on friday as well as not using saturday to complete it .
I only got into this particular project after the working hours which was 6 pm and worked until 9 pm on friday. Extra 3 hours was for the some apis for pdf generation and mail. ( i do front and back according to situation).
I was too tired from multitasking all weekdays..
(no overtime pay. I work like atleast 9-10hrs regulary without including lunch )
.The remaining work is frontend arrangements. Yeah forgot one things. 2 months salary pending.
I need some judgements12 -
Vue, a classy piece of shit. I need to write my tests. But half of the vue-test-utils is either broken or has literally 1.5 lines of explanation. How do you expect me to create a functioning test if the tests in your testing framework are broken1
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https://youtu.be/JWD1Fpdd4Pc
Pretty good explanation of why emacs is great. I was an evangelical vim user until I came to realise these points.
TL;DR main point:
The editor is second to the powerful and extensible underlying runtime, that makes extensions far easier to make and thus provides a better ecosystem. Although neovim is making strides to fix this5 -
Anyone have links to an in depth explanation on how SSMS connects to a server?
For some reason [RemoteServer]\[InstanceA] is connecting to localhost\[InstanceB] for me and I have no idea why.1 -
Have this problem which already took me well over a day to figure out.
Thinking: "I might try SO, maybe I'll get an answer there.".
*Posts question with nice explanation and code example.*
Literally 5 mins later: question is marked as duplicate of a super generic question, which does not answer mine.1 -
How do I know if there's a module for the problem I'm trying to solve? How do I know if there's a better module that solves the problem in a better way than the module I'm using? After I found the module, how can I use it if npmjs website contains just a skinny example and no explanation? Should I attend an advanced course for each module in repository?
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Those days, I have a lot of companies reaching me directly on my professional mail to sell to me their shit. Should I randomly visit one to ask for an explanation in person?2
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I come to check in to the office during my vacation to see how the project is going. I find a colleague from a vendor explaining it all to business and pushing over CSS changes to the next release. Current release is MVP1 and is set to release 3 months for now. *facepalm*2
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https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US...
When I see a js project or other with instructions to "start by creating a manifest.json" I as a beginner expect this level of explanation about the available manifest options. What each line is for, why you would use it, and if it is optional or not.
Otherwise it's just another cryptic and useless file occupying space in the symbol table that exists in my head, floating there without reason, description or purpose..kind of like a js lib without adequate documentation on its manifest.json.
One more arbitrary thing I have to remember, (and thus will forget) each time I have to use that library.1 -
I was in a meeting the other day which started with a introducing of the members and a basic explanation about scrum.
The meeting ended with the note form the client that the project was absolutely not allowed to cost more then X.
After the meeting a coworker asked who explained scrum to the client. And it was explained twice by two different people. -
Why isn't anyone asking where Google's recaptcha images are coming from?
Yesterday, the challenge i got was clearly obvious, it was a car shaded by a tree shown from side view and it looks like someone unknowingly holding his/her device pointing to it (bloatware i suspect). And today i am told to pick "stairs". Yes! from someones fucking home! No sugar-coated explanation is justifiable enough for this sort of fuckery!
10 -
Salesforce translation import tool is absolutely useless regarding error messages, when something is wrong with the file. Even if you try to replicate an already correct file, salesforce just tells you that something went wrong and which file formats are accepted ... even when using said format. No hints, no further explanation ... I need more details, WHAT IS WRONG?😠2
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Who from fucking IBM thought that implementing hundreds of Constants for MQ WebSphere was a fucking Good idea, when half of them can't even be used with pcf. Even when they would be usable their Documentation is like horse shit you can't find anything in there without spending half of the day looking for an explanation.
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Oh god no anything but this
(Seriously now, the reason is a bit complicated because Swift is different but focus on the meme, if you want an explanation I will give it to you in the comments lol)
3 -
It’s hard keeping your girlfriend satisfied when you’re being pressured to code with less to no bugs. I mean, doesn’t she understand that computers are stunningly stupid, and you have to explain to them every last tiny step that you want them to do, and your explanation can't have any mistakes in it. And why this is the fundamental cause of buggy and insecure software😣4
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Implement a rest API for elasticsearch.
Follow the client's index's mapping.
Generate json document from Java pojos, given by the client.
Jsons don't match the schema mapping, one (at least) field, for geographic coordinates, is in another format.
Ask the client for explanation.
Client response, after 6 hours:
"We build it in this shape so you have to convert them to another format before posting into ES".
What the hell is wrong with you?!1 -
Actually got my testing program done today! I got some help and the person told me what was happening and how the function worked and helped me understand everything and what to do to not reproduce the same error and it was such an enjoyable talk/explanation. It makes me feel so much better when I actually learn what I’m doing wrong.2
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I could probably continue on long enough to reach the character limit, but then... you know... "tl;dr".
So here's just the first three that came to mind.
1. Never get too attached to your code. Sooner or later, by intention or tragedy, it will be gone. Instead, hold value in the lessons you learned when writing it.
2. Always be experimenting. Don't be afraid to try new languages, frameworks, technologies, etc. However, when it comes to projects intended to eventually reach production, stick with what you already know.
3. Ask questions whenever you have them. The explanation of your ignorance can sometimes alone be enough to shed light on some related technical paradigm.1 -
When you explain a project as "a" to this special someone working in your team, you ask them to repeat and they answer "b", then to top it all of they are then going around office telling everyone else "c". So it ends up in spending precious time explaining it for everyone agin... And no it was nothing wrong with the explanation.
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Why do companies waste serious cash in office parties? I'm talking about those hundred-thousand-dollar extravaganzas that major tech companies seem to be addicted to.
Poll after poll finds that most employees would rather have the cash, so "kissing the collective asses of tech staff so that they won't leave" is not an explanation that holds up.
The "Roman Triumph" explanation also does not make any sense. If rich assholes want to flex their immeasurable riches, why would they invite mere mortals that do not put a lot of effort in being famous or pretty? Couldn't they invite the entire Victoria's Secret catalogue of models and the NE Patriots? Surely it would make for much more impressive photos of decadence.
The "Michael Scott" explanation also falls short. Companies spend serious cash on consultants and professional party planners, that are sure to know a lot of people. Money can and often does buy personality, so no rich asshole is ever a party dud.
Why else do they force most of their own staff into what they perceive as a "do not relax or you may get fired" loud and poorly lit meeting that takes hours to dress up for? What am I missing?5 -
When you ask the project owner for a workflow explanation and his reply is "I don't know how it should work yet, just do whatever you get first", you know it's time to ditch the bastard along with his project.
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Only dev in the company, couple of on going wordpress projects, just left without notice period. Im going to hell arnt I.
Explanation: I had not yet signed any contracts because the boss “trusted me” i just completed 3 months (standard probation period in other companies) but just got a job offer with triple the salary but recruiters seemed in a rush and i figured i might lose my shot if i told them to wait. Keep in mind in my country that kind of salary is impossible to get for a 21 yr old dev.1 -
When documenting some stuff in Eclipse and you separate the parameters from the actual explanation with a - and hit ctrl+shift+f (refactoring) so the - goes to the next line along with the explanation... good thing I only documented 2 methods so far LoL they have like half a dozen parameters though o-o
I wanna thank the comment I just deleted for making me realize this LoL better now than when the whole interface is commented good jesus -
Hey, i am an idiot when it comes to web development and i wanted to kindly ask a question.
I am developing a blazor wasm webapp and i want to give the user some kind of onboarding process. the kind where some parts of the ui are highlighted with explanation on what which button does or area of ui is for.
how do you call something like that? I just need something to google for.
Thank you for your invaluable time and again sorry for my stupidy3 -
Is it me only having to deal with horrible meeting product?
Arch Linux as my base OS, justifies my all-time updated system, NPAPI being deprecated in Firefox, Chrome and have to use Cisco WebEx every Saturdays and Sundays.
Just hate having to return to Windows to make WebEx chrome extension work for the meeting to be possible, and then a CentOS VM running for all the demonstration, explanation and teaching...
Although, IcedTea in Linux makes it possible but oh well it WebEx is still a horrible headache.1 -
Any c++ devs here,im looking for an explanation on how to distribute c++ packages with dependant libraries.what methods are there to make sure that every person who receives your application can use it without installing any libraries or dependancies.im currently developing on linux.2
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Hope you don’t hate me, but I have a confession to make. When I’m on mobile, I like safari better than chrome. No explanation, I just do.5
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Apparently some manager in the company found out that we produce less bugs if there are more meetings (there is literally no time to write actual code). At least that is the only explanation which comes to my mind WHY I HAVE TO SIT IN THESE SHITTY DISCUSSIONS THE WHOLE DAY TO DISCUSS THE SAME ISSUES AGAIN AND AGAIN.
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Looking for WebSockets... when this explanation appears
...or just Forever Frame in IE because... because it is IE
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I swear it is easier to do a full-stack application all by yourself rather than make a front-end and a back-end newbie work alongside you in a way that justifies the pay being given to them by the project manager(for a freelance project).
Not that they are bad or anything, but it takes more effort to offload work to them with enough explanation to convey the expectations properly while accounting for the learning they are yet to do.1 -
I just fucking realized that ember was modifying the native prototypes fuuuuuck.
I loathe ember!! The stupid fat hamster logo looks horrible. The documentation is like, "this does that, and that does that", but they have no good examples or explanation of how it all fits together!! -
"Debugging is similar to being a detective in a murder mystery when you are also the killer and are unsure of whether you are resolving the case or hiding your traces!!".
But seriously, why does debugging have to be so challenging at times? It appears as though the code is attempting to trick us in some way. And let's not even talk about those mysterious error messages that have no meaning at all. Is a bit more explanation necessary, code? Give us a break, please!2 -
The best explanation why we need Static Import Libraries to load a dll and wtf they contain
https://cnblogs.com/adylee/p/...
and many interesting stuff about PE file format3 -
There are so many things I don't understand the point of in technology
Like microservices
There are other things I just have difficulty comprehending like natural language models
Let's focus on that one.
From the explanation I saw it takes presence of words in typical language
So what the input neurons representing every word in the English dictionary?
The message gets changed to this and the output neurons are the existence of these words likely as a response to the input and BAM chatgpt converts output weighta somehow to full sentences and paragraphs?
I feel I'm missing some important point
Is there well documented code anywhere?19 -
Learning a piece of software from an external supplier. The manual is thick like the bible. The examples fail without explanation. Trying to contact support just leads you down an endless trail of support articles. Damn right I get frustrated and bored. Can you blaim me for rather hanging around on devRant than desperately trying to work around problems in someone else's system/documentation? Yeah, I have to pull my shit together, but they have to pull theirs first.
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Unable to give detailed explanation of how my code works. Like why do I need to explain as long it works 😏4
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Rustfmt doesn't support inline function calls with a block last argument unless the last argument is an array literal or lambda. Dedicated support for arrays is obviously intended for XML-like trees where a factory takes a number of arguments and then a list of children, and the use cases for block last lambda argument don't need explanation, but what I don't get is how did no one catch on that this is a useful pattern that should perhaps be generalized? Why can't I produce the same behaviour for a function call in the last position.3
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for christ sake.. I ended up receiving all problems at a startup, I am alone every lvl of support from software exceptions to plc. Even for machines I have never received any training or explanation. How can a company afford mass holydays and rely for all level support on a single person who is still under training? I cant dug deeper in any issue because then I got overfilled with questions. I really want this week to end...1
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I had %1 of charge before going to sleep last night. My phone was turned off and not charging all night (~10 hours). I woke up and I turned on my phone as usual.
And I have %19 of charge. How is this possible? Does anyone have an explanation?
(This is probably my second time facing this.)
(P.S: Nights are cold here)
5 -
Been making minor refactors to code base. Ran into something that resembles and behaves like a brainfart. Accepts arguments, uses them to query DB then completely disregards result and builds own result yielding dubious output.
Dumb as I am, went to investigate the story behind it. Maybe some weird business rules involved.
Git gave commit. 100+ files changed. Nice one.
Went to original story and there it was, clearly stated, like a true moronic decision: "Squash all feature commits to a single commit". No specs, no description, no explanation... Nothing.
Well... FUCK YOU TO!2 -
Trying to figure out what the API your company has been using does with 2 pages of documentation sucks! The explanation given to me was also pretty stupid: "So... you click here and then... uhm... this link, and uhm..."
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For me it's definitely teaching. Whether I teach coding or any mathematical or even theoretical subjects. I find that when you teach someone you learn how to communicate better and transfer knowledge effectively. Communication is key in client relationships.
Secondly when you teach someone a concept you think you understand you tend to find flaws in the way you understand that subject matter by forcing you to hear your explanation out loud. This in turn will make you delve deeper into that subject matter and make you understand it better, rearranging your own perceptions and correcting those flaws. -
6 hours to listen explanations about my school after they teased us with the explanation of what's the "pool" (it's where students work for almost 14h by day on exercises during a month to make everybody have the same level)... I can't wait to start the pool! I don't want to listen anymore!
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Does anyone have an explanation why WhatsApp exists? I mean Facebook has messenger so why do they have WhatsApp?9
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I need a method where I can communicate between an unmanaged c++ application and a c# one. I've never done this before or worked with c# before and can't find an explanation I can understand. I'm still a student so bare with my limited knowledge 😅1
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AWS or Digital Ocean?
What will be the best choice in case of costing as well as managing by single developer? 😅
I'm having difficulty to choose one for a long-lasting project of mine. Kindly, your suggestion with explanation will be helpful to me.
Technology: Spring Framework
Thank you.7 -
So for one of my uni courses we're writing arm assembly. That's pretty cool. What's not cool is the shit textbook written by the instructor, the asshat elitists on every single fucking help thread, and the fucking garbage documentation.
But hey, maybe I'm doing something wrong. I mean, after all, you should need to spend 5+ hours to discover where the fuck you should place a label for a god damn binary constant. Oh, and once you've finally got code that'll link, good fuckin luck getting it to load the address of that constant in a register.
At least I have a good explanation on why those guys on the forums are such fucking dicks: Stockholm Syndrome. -
when you get a random DM from somebody on their first day on another team and they ask you about onboarding stuff
i'm not sure why me as i'm on another team and not even 2 months here
i guess i updated some documentation but there was no explanation for why me and at the end of a hard day of work im too done to bother asking why me1 -
What are resources if you have to quickly gain overview on a subject? i.e: Need overview of the use of "primary key" in SQL, without passing through explanation in a book.5
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We can’t use google sheets, cause of security risks.
(Okay...)
Not even for our showcase content.
Which is public.
The showcase content which goal of the company is to have seen by as many ppl as possible.
Cause security issues which may lead to the possibility of people seeing it.
Seeing the content we want them to see.
Roses are red
My dog ate my led
I may be going crazy
It would be so easy
If they used their head
Or at least fucking read
Edit: if any security expert can give me a valid explanation better than: “it’s the protocol” I am willing to accept I am wrong, but then the point is that they (colleagues) are dicks for not explaining5 -
The constant re-explanation of how stuff should be done, whether it's business logic or even in simple programming itself. When it comes to developers, I find myself repeating myself a lot simply because they can't be bothered to understand what business rules are needed as all they want to do is just code a solution and get it over and done with.
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The VCS I love is Git with GitLab.
The way client code reviews is via email pointing outline number for explanation and expects to send the zip file of the entire project via Google Drive.
why the fuck git exists?? -
What is a good way of enforcing rules (particularly following release procedures, cut off dates) for a team?
Other than the rules need to be well defined and written down, I'm thinking there needs to be a consequence for violations....
Like must provide a valid explanation or buy the boss/team/whoever has to do extra work because of the violation a drink.
But not sure what's a good one, does it work out is this too Draconian?9 -
What the Fun Javascript Part 2
With reference to my old rant : https://devrant.com/rants/1445754/...
An explanation to this...
In JS whenever it sees '==' it has a set of rules that it follows before comparing quantities...
One such rule is...
When we compare a number with a boolean using '==' it first converts boolean into number then compares the two quantities...
So in this case..
When we convert true to number we get 1 and when we compare 1 and 2 they are obviously unequal hence we get false...
1 -
Looking to get a good understanding of the fundamental ideology and math behind neural networks and support vector machines. I am well versed with math so I can deal with heavier stuff if needed, I would like to see formulas but an explanation to their conception would be nice. Does anyone have any resources like this? Practical hands on practice exercises would be a plus2
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'CTO': We need this application to be desktop, client-server and self-installable(like a multiplayer game. Counter-Strike for example. Only here we are talking about a business application)
Me: (20 min explanation of the complications and limitations of the architecture).
'CTO': Don't worry. We're gonna explain all that on the user manual.
****Later****
'CTO': I got an idea. What if we deploy the client separately. It will be a dumb client. It will contain just views. That way you don't have to code an API.
The guy was thinking that a dumb client is like a remote desktop window where all is happening on the other side.🤦2 -
Okay, can anyone explain to me why this is the third time in a row that I have to re-disable "fast startup" after a windows-update?
I know, some of you might think that windows sucks, and I agree, to some extent, but I still want to be able to play my games there.
So, is there any rational explanation for the fact that windows seems to suffer from some kind of amnesia when it comes to settings? I don't believe it was either bad intent or complete incompetence from the developers...
Is it a certain design decision? Or is is that hard to implement "persistent" settings storage?3 -
Javascript is my main tool at work right now, Typescript to be precise. It never ceases to amaze me, I guess as most of you.
What I've encountered recently still doesn't make sense to me but it seemingly works:
function a(){
someString && someFunction()
// other stuff ...
}
someString can be a string or undefined, someFunction can be a function or undefined.
How is that valid Javascript, without an assignment? Haven't found any explanation yet.22 -
A single fucking NuGet package is missing in release mode. That’s the only goddamn explanation I have and it makes no sense. Why the FUCK does ACR.UserDialogs only get compiled in Debug mode?!
God I fucking HATE UWP.1 -
One day the full stack developer knows to explain angular in great detail really clearing things up for me. Lately he has a go f* attitude. Basically refusing any explanation at all. Not that he owes me, but he is the chosen one. The one with actual angular experience. And the only one.
Other teammember isnt doing or caring shit at all but is screaming about senior skills any way.
I need to get out.
But there are no jobs :( feel like ive seen it all and seriously thinking about a career change. Maybe start my own business. Who knows. -
While the sidenote of explanation regarding the business process being added up front without much useful detail is all nice etc
Expecting some overblown explanation about fixing a mistake from a middle aged man as to motivation is just stupid
What else is stupid is directing a person to the same things when you people are supposedly supposed to spare us that
What else is stupid is people processing literally 10s of 1000s of man hours of the PRECISE same work over and over again letting themselves be psychologically programmed and handicapped
And what is really dumb is when vital data that can make a large difference in a payment getting processed or a claim being accepted or rejected is just allowed to pass through entirely on the premise that it allows a broken ass system to bite some in the ass and give a break to someone else instead of FIXING THE FUCKING SYSTEM1 -
I'd like to follow along with some react tutorials, but pretty much all I'm finding are ones that either just have blocks of code (with little to no explanation) to copy/paste or just a link to github.
Do any of you know of any good, well explained tutorials I can follow along to that actually explain what they're doing (and actually end with a sample project, so not just theory).2 -
I think something people have to realize is most people have brain farts or moments of disconnect or where the brain parts that are thinking are not connecting with the language centers very well for explanation1
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Firebase local emulator decides to just break for no reason. All of a sudden all requests are unauthorized (even though I haven't changed anything in the authentication process of my app).
W H Y
Yay, I just need to debug for 5 hours and then the thing is going to fix itself without any explanation.
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