Me: *programming*

Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*

Me: *programming*

Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."

Me: "What, that's stupid."

Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"

Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."

Me: *programming*

Team: *doing absolutly nothing*

Me: "I fixed it!"

Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"

Me: "You didn't ask..."

And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.

When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.

Modern web development is fucked. Just absolutely, totally screwed up.

I want to create a simple to do list web app. Look for a tutorial: "OK guys, this is really easy, it just takes five minutes."

First step, install these:
- Git
- NPM
- NodeJS
- Express
- MongoDB
- Docker
- React

Second step, npm install about one million modules. Don't question what they do or why they're there.

Before you know it, six hours have passed and you've got a code base of 3GB and you haven't even _started_ on your app.

FUCK that shit! I can create this web app with Internet Explorer and Notepad.

Morning conversation with wife.

As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter

She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.

Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.

She: that not funny, why do you always do that.

Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.

A little later.....

She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)

I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)

ON MONDAY

TL: Why the hell you require a month to integrate this engine?

Me: It will take that much time, can't help it.

TL: it can be done within a week.

Me: Then you do it.

TL: Ok I will show how it's done in a week.

ON FRIDAY

Me: What's the status on that integration?

TL: Oh yeah about that, you have to carry it ahead, I have some monitoring to do.

Me: Ok, give me the repository access, I will carry it ahead.

ME OPENS REPOSITORY.

There's only a new controller file with nothing it.

Client: "This has been broken for weeks! Why is it still broken!?!?"

Me: "Did you tell anyone it was broken?"

Client: "Well...um...no..."

I may be good at my job, but I have not been able to (nor do I want to) develop mind-reading abilities. Now please fuck off (so that I can go fix it).

My employer tried to install my app in his IPhone X and he scold me why the apk not supported. I explain to him that apk is for Android. He yelled :” don’t give me shit , you don’t have a degree on this so shut up, I do have, apk are universal because it is coded in Java

First Helpdesk call of the day:

"My PC has been stuck on the same thing for an hour now. Its completely crashed."
"Does pressing ctrl alt delete do anything?"
"Where's that button?"
"Its 3 buttons - ctrl in the bottom left, alt beside the spacebar and delete over near the arrow keys. Press them all at the same time. Does it do anything?"
"No"
"Okay then, you need to manually power off the laptop then."
"How do i do that?"
"Hold down the power button"
"Where's that?"
"....on your laptop?! It's how you turn it on in the mornings?"
*60 seconds go by* "oh i see it. Ok i pressed it! Its Flashing blue now."
"Oh, no, just hold it down until everything goes black."
"The power button?"
"Yes."
"But that would turn off the entire PC?"
"Yes."
"Why do i have to do that?"

God help me if this is how my day is going to be 😢

Sometime I’m developing in Rust and I do something wrong.

Then I look at the terminal and it says...

“You did X, did you mean to do Y”

Then I do it and it works perfectly, and I’m like...

Why do I even have a job if the compiler is this good?

Mom: You should do stuff with blockchain.

Me: Why, I don't believe in blockchain on the long run.

Mom: You should start believing in blockchain and you should start using it for all your stuff.

Me: Mom, i really appreciate that you are trying to help, but why are you saying this? My projects have zero to do with blockchain.

Mom: Blockchain is the future, because the media said so.

Me:...

Dev: Hey, do we have a Google cloud machine running?
Me: No we have AWS remember?

Dev: Okay..
Me: Why do you want a gCloud?

Dev: I had this large stack of files and want to put them somewhere, off of my laptop. I just feel comfortable using Google than AWS.
Me: Umm.. there is Dropbox for that sort of stuff. Not high performance servers running our services.

Dev: ...
Dev: (After a moment) Yeah, why didn't I think of that? :/

Me: Seriously???

I think he forgot to have breakfast today.

Co-worker: Hey man, what's up with your code?

Me: What do you mean bro?

Co-worker: It's generic man...

Me: Isn't it supposed to be like that?

Co-worker: Yeah...

Me: ... so what's this about?

Co-worker: hmmm... Mine is kinda specific, do you mind changing it so that it can work well with mine??

Me: That's why I made it generic though

Co-worker: yeah I see that and I dnt want mine to be and we have a deadline tomorrow. I already pushed mine to develop so, happy fun-time while modifying your code to accommodate mine...

Me: *fuuxuuuuuuuuuuuux*

So Last year December my cousin see's me making a basic 3D game in Unity and says he wants to do programming.

Me: No, you don't want that. Become a doctor like your parents want you two.
Him: I'll do it.
Me: Ok. If you want to suffer, i'll teach you some basic C#

Me: *Shows him basic C# code in visual studio*
Him: *Not paying attention* Cool. When can i make games?
Me: That's not how this works. Where do you intend to study?
Him: M.I.T!
Me: You better get your ass infront of that fucken computer, google and youtube the shit out of you, matter of fact i'll get you a shit bucket so you don't have to get up.
Him: I don't have to go so hard now, i'm only 16.
Me: *Facepalm* That's why you have to do this now.

...7 months later...
(Yesterday)
Me: Show me how you make a basic calculator application.
Him: I don't know how to do that, you didn't show me.
Me: *laughing*
Him: Whats so funny?
Me: You're screwed *still laughing*

Don't get me wrong. He's a smart kid. Just needs to fucken do something if he wants his goal.

Real Story:

Manager: You have to add an extra section in the app to show more details.

Me: We are already showing so many unnecessary details. These changes are not required.

Manager: No !! You have to do it.

Me : Ok !!! So why can't we show it in the section where we are showing the other details. Why make a separate section for it.

Manager : No !! It won't be clearly visible to the user. Just do it.

So I added another section to show useless information that we are already showing it f**king everywhere else in the app.

So I released a new apk next day with the added features.

In meeting, our CTO goes through the app and ask manager....

" Why we have added an extra section for showing same details that we are showing everywhere else ???

Who approved this ?? This is nonsense !!! "

Here comes the fun part.

Manager : I don't know. I didn't ask for it. These changes were not there earlier.

And ask me.

"Who told you to make these changes ? "

I am like... F***k man you a***ole told me to do it even when i told you it will be nonsense.

Why

Do

LinkedIn motivational

Posts

Look

Like this?

Why are you

guys making me

fucking

unfollow you?

So I have 600 LinkedIn contacts.

Most are recruiters.

So my feed is flooded with recruitement rants.

And success stories like this:

How they hired the guy who had

A 10 year gap in his employment.

Because they had to take care.

Of their sick pet hamster.

Hiring him was one of their best decisions.

He was a stellar employee.

Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"

Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"

Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"

Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."

I am so done with that kind of client.

1. Do you know why my computer is so slow?
2. What cellphone do you recommend me to buy? (They always end up buying the cheapest)
3. What do you do at work? (Answer: "I create applications". Anything more complex than that is not going to be understood or they will loose interest)
4. Something is wrong with the: [TV, Cellphone, microwave, etc.]. Could you please take a look? (Believe or not, if something works with electricoty, my family thinks I can fix it).
5. Is it true that if I send this WhatsApp message to all my contacts I will have more options?
6. I need to build an application that (pretty much The Matrix), how much time do you need and how much would cost? Don't you dare to give me wrong numbers. (We have to see the future)
7. (Continuing the previous point, a non-technical client) I don't think that would take so much time/money. (Every time)
8. I want to use the latest Front-End frameworks. I want to see all those beautiful animations in my page and that it runs smoothly... I also need that it runs in IE 5.
9. So, you have been working in the back end? If you don't have a screen to show to the client is like you didn't do anything in this sprint.
10. Why haven't you built and million dollar application? Everybody is doing that right now....

Yep, those are only a few downsides of our profession if we count family, friends and even co-workers. But I can't imagine myself doing anything else.

Dev: Why do you have an identical if statement right below this one?

Manager: Because I want the code to double check, obviously.

Dev: …

The level of fucking backflips I have to do to get these morons to learn git and not share code via fucking emails, Jesus Christ, you'd think I asked them to switch religions. Why the fuck does this profession not require a fucking license in this godforsaken country.

Uncle- What do you do?

Me- I'm a software engineer

Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.

Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice

Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea

Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell

Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it

Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle

Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it

Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.

Saying that Sharepoint was coded by a bunch of trained monkeys would be an understatement and an insult to monkeys. Why is it such a bloody mess? 😡

soooo Texas froze before Hell, thought it was never going to happen but it did 🥴

Had a meeting scheduled for today, but since my employees (crucial for the meeting) do not have power I had to reschedule.

VP: I saw that you cancelled the meeting
Me: yes I did sir, my people do not have power at their homes so I decided that we can postpone it for later.

VP: Understandable, I just wanted to see if you guys were ok.

Me: yes sir, we are thank you and yourself?

The rest of the conv was standard pleasantries.

Why can't it be like this for all devs around the world?

Winter break is next week and I don't know what to do...

I have an exciting programming project I want to work on!

Buuuut, I also have this 1,500 page book I want to read!

Buuuuuuut, my manuscript still needs some work! I want to work on it as well.

If I do all three, I won't get to finish anything, so only one task during break.

Three of my favorite things... Why must choices be so difficult?

Also, the picture is the 1K page book I bought. :) It's beautiful!

FUCK THIS GOD DAMN ESSAY I DON'T WANT TO WRITE 2500 FUCKING WORDS ABOUT SHITTY SCRUM OR SOME OTHER BULLSHIT. WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT THIS SHIT WHEN I SHOULD BE CODING. FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS!!

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????

JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!

FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!

Unexperienced digital immigrant: "Let's make a website, can you do this?"
Me: "Yeah."
"But you gotta use wordpress. We want to be able to change the content easily. Also we want to have that website done fast."
"Meh, ok."

one day later

"Are you done yet?"
Me: "No, I got to find a good way for the lightbox I'm still implementing to fetch data from posts blabla"
"Why are you not done yet? Just take a plugin, even I can do that. Wordpress is so easy, it's just 1, 2, 3 and done."

Yeah I have an idea. Why don't you just make the website yourself.

So this guy rated my app 1 star saying that "application is pretty good. I can do almost all of my task using this app. It would be better if you have added this* features."

*The features he mentions is nothing but the substraction of 2 variables.

Why some of the app users behave like this? This is the biggest turn off to motivate me to keep developing if your application is free of cost.

Why can't we delete those review from stores?

Can i just plug a usb with the information into my brain? Why do i have to download this incrementally? This takes too long!

potential new client, immediately says:

"we have to get this website to number 1 on google as fast as possible!!!!!"

god why is it always the same

i'm tempted to ask, "great, no problem, do you have thousands to spend?"

i already know what the answer is

🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡

I hate this fucking front-end stuff so hard..

How DA FUCK is it possible that I set up the whole backend including DB connection, base controllers, models, base validation and stuff in an hour but don't get this fucking fucking retarded JS framework piece of shit to display a test string after ONE FUCKING HOUR!!!

Why do we need this shit anyway? Why does everything have to be shiny with some fucking animations???

It's about the information, isn't it? Then WHY DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY???

I gonna travel back in fucking time to the early 80's!

Stupid front-end shit..

I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:

Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?

It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.

If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?

While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?

I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?

If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!

Today 🙄
This dev goes "I connect using plain FTP over a VPN to update why can't you!?"

Because it's unsecure you fucking idiot.

His FTP server can't even do secure connections. Some how.

Guess I have a new site to take over 😏

Dear self,

If you start a statement with “I think”, you do not have to also edit statement to add “in my opinion”. This is redundant and silly.

Sincerely,
Why are you so freaking timid?

I get pissed when somebody takes me out of my coding mindset for something minor. A deep bubble of abstract thought gets popped so that I can be told that we'll be eating dinner in an hour. I then have to start my thought processes from scratch.
This is why I can't get any work done during the daytime, and why I do all my coding at night.
This comic depicts this issue perfectly.

I hate it when I try and have a discussion with another dev and the conversation devolves into something akin to:

Me: I'm doing a thing in y language! How do I do z using y language?

Dev: WHY ARE YOU USING Y LANGUAGE?! Y LANGUAGE SUCKS AND IF YOU USE IT YOU'RE STUPID. ALL REAL DEVS USE X LANGUAGE.

I just wanted to know how to do something. Maybe I don't want to do it in another language. Maybe I have to use this language for work/study. Maybe I've just been given legacy spaghetti code and can't change the system easily.

Why do people feel the need to do this? And if they want to flame a language why can't they do it constructively?

Dev: If you are trying to do a thing in y language, why don't you try using x language? It offers an easier way for you to complete the task that you want, and it has other amazing features too!

Then you could actually respond with the appropriate response which would be thanks but no thanks because of this reason or thanks i'll check it out.

No need to be so elitist all the time.

Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.

Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.

The year was 2021 and we have to implement X
Alice, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous company. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale
Alice: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Alice: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...

Then 2022 came, Alice was promoted thanks to the incredible leadership to deliver X, I joined a different project, a part of this project is to implement Y, similar to X.
Bob, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous project. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale, you can ask Alice if you want.
Bob: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Bob: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...

It's 2023 now, Bob got promoted thanks to the awesome leadership to roll out Y, I joined another project, which requires us to develop Z, similar to X and Y.
Chris, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: ah shit here we go again...

Why the fuck do people care about age so much?
Unlike other activities, you can be 15 years old and be as good as a senior dev, so why the fuck do you need to degrade me because you found out my age?
I still deliver the promised work, so what the fuck?

As for kids who try to get recognition because they're young and program, well, fuck you too!

Programming isn't about age or maturity, since in this age of tech, anyone can pick up a computer and an internet connection and learn, so why do you feel that younger individuals have less capabilities?

I just had to get that out of me since it pisses me off a fuck load.

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

Part of an honest interview :

- What is your biggest weakness?
+ Triceps femoris muscles

- Why do you want this job?
+ Earning money to buy food so that I don't die of hunger.

- How do you handle pressure?
+ By shouting the word fuck

- What are your goals?
+ Have a cheek in bed every night.

- We will be in touch.
+ you never call, do you?

Is it normal for a dad to jump into his son's decisions?
Recently he accepted a job offer that was directed to me. I got mad and asked why on earth he would do that.
He provocatively answered "Who are you to make this decision? I'm allowed to decide over you! Don't be so disrespectful towards your dad!".
If he was not my dad, I would have beaten the shit out of him.
PS: I'm still in college that's why I can't leave atm.

Why does Google not have a dark mode for their freaking home page? I have dark mode on everything on my computer then I go to look something up on Google and get blinded. If they can do it for YouTube why don't they get it together on their nearly blank, bright white search page. You're better than this Google. And while I'm on that topic same to you stackoverflow. When I'm copying someone else's code at least let me do it in dark mode.

God fucking dammit.

I got assigned to a WordPress project...

I AM NOT A WORDPRESS DEVELOPER!!!

Why do I have to deal with this giant pile of stinking shit?
I'm a php developer, I make applications, I don't write fucking wordpress plugins...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST, WHY DID WORDPRESS BECOME SUCCESSFUL WHY CAN'T I JUST DEV IN PIECE.

Dear wordpress developers,

Please suffocate on a big fat old cock.

Regards.

Now seriously, WHAT THE FUCK???
Every single time I have to work with people from a particular country [you have one guess. Yepp, that's the one], I see A-FUCKING-LOOOOOOT of manual work?!?

"can you reboot the server?"
-"sure, let me help you, sir" <20 minutes later> "done"

"can you unlock my account?"
-"yes, just a moment sir" <20 minutes later> "please check now"

"can you restart this environment w/ 200 instances?"
-"yes sir, let me check" <6 hours later> "please check now"
"you've missed 18 containers"
-"oh okay sir, will restart them now" <2hours later> "please check now"
[I am already OoO]

why is it that every time I have to work with you guys I am the one who is automating shit. How come you never think of/do any automata? You are fucking technitians, you should know how. WHY DO YOU ENJOY CLICKING ALL-DAY-LONG????

I'm serious. Why??? I'm struggling to understand...

I was today years old when I discovered the CSS property column-count.

Do you have any fucking idea how many times I’ve used CSS grid or flex box or BOTH when all I wanted was to make a layout with a set number of columns?

Why the fuck didn’t I know about this thing?

Did you know about this thing?

After spending a whole day "user proofing" a new module I realized something: why do I even bother with all the additional work?

Why you might ask?
A little anecdote...

At least twice a month I get a call that someone deleted - by accident- a patient in their practice management software.
Fun thing is, it's hidden behind multiple tabs and buttons - and you literally have to type in "yes, I want to delete this patient".

Asking how this could happen - by accident - yields a "I didn't know this would delete the patient".

And I really wish I was joking...but it happened just last week..again :-D

TLDR; I am a piece of shit who writes no documentation or no information whatsoever when I am doing something.

Created a custom version of Windows for our company couple of months ago. Before leaving, I am supposed to pass this valuable information to another new developer.

Obviously, since it has been a long time I have worked on that, I have forgotten a lot of core principles. The process is also automated in Jenkins so never really had to touch it again.

Now that I am about to explain the process to the new recruit, I realised that I have written nothing about that process. No documentation, no information. The only thing I have is a bunch of scripts automating everything for me. WHY WHY do I do this to myself :(

As a Java guy starting to learn about JavaScript I have one question.

WHY ARE THERE 20,000 VERSIONS OF JAVASCRIPT???! WHAT MAD GOD APPROVED OF THIS AND HOW DO WE KILL HIM?

...I don't actually think it's that bad of a language though. :^)

I saw a post about headphones that reminded me.

Last week I was trying to find out why my code wasn't working. At about an hr in my wife asks me "honey, why do you have headphones on but they aren't plugged into anything?"

I looked at her partially spaced and thought to myself "I have headphones on?!?!"

Lol I tend to do this a lot.

>On a call with Manager
>he's showing off some code
>oh cool he's finally assigning me some real work

PM: So yeah, just wanted to have you on a call to show you how easy it was to fix this.

Me: ... Oh... OK.

PM: yeah so this was completely broken. The last guy that was working on this didn't do a great job. Like seriously, what is this? Amateur hour? Hahaha

Me:... Haha... Yeah, right... 🫠

PM: anyways I figured I would go ahead and do this because it would take me 10 minutes to figure out. It would probably would have taken you 3 hours or something to figure out.

Me: ok... <why tf am on this call other than for you to shit on my skills?>

PM: anyways just wanted to walk you through what I did and show you how easy it was to fix.

Me: ok.

What the F**K? Why Marketing department always think they know better than IT Department? They always tell us "What so difficult to do this thing? You guys must have templates and change a few things!"

Let me give you some insight here, that this guy is the guy who buy website templates from programmers, change things and upload the site to Bluehost or Wordpress, That's all he do.

Our Software Archictect, colleagues and I personally went from "What the f***?" to "Are you f**king Kidding Me? "

Sometimes I just want to tell him this "Hey you mother f**ker, based on your f**king statement , why would you need programmers then? You guys can just buy the templates and change things".....

F**k you Marketing Department!

Am I really unlucky, or are juniors these days all lazy af and such pampered babies that need hand holding all the time?
So back when I was a junior, when I wanted to learn something new, I would ask for some pointers from my seniors, could be an article, a video or even a book. From there I would look up further knowledge, play with the idea in my machine. If I couldn't understand something, or if I needed a better explanation of something, I would go back to my senior, but it was really rare.
Then comes this modern day, I'm the senior now and I'm in charge of mentoring a bunch of kids, who would treat me like their personal chatgpt. "Hey Junior #0, this is something you may want to read to help your next ticket, let me know if you have difficulty". Next day junior #0 would come back and say "I don't understand, the article mentioned X but I don't know how to do X. Can you show me how to do X?". Bro, no one knows how to do X after being born, just google "how to do X" and it gives you the fucking answer. Why the fuck do you have to circle back to me because of this. Junior #1 would refuse to read any articles longer than 250 words, and require constant 1-1 meetings to give him personal lectures. Dude this is not a class room, grow the fuck up! Junior #3 would write the messiest code possible despite my efforts to introduce tons of resources, then complain "why I'm still junior, how do I grow". Bro maybe if you learned half of what I sent you, you would have gotten promote by now. Fucking lazy kids these days!
Oh I can't fire these juniors. Top management was very clear that "we don't have budget to hire other devs for you, it's your responsibility to train them better".

Please disregard. I just need to vent.

Being a manager is so fucking shit. This is not even about devs or tech specific only. Never become a manager.
Why? Because it’s about handling people and all the dumb shit they do. It’s all about knowing what people suck at and preventing that weakness from leaking into other areas. The amount of fucked up people on this earth means that you have to work with at least some of them, and that means putting up with their stupid ass list of super special requirements, that if they do not fulfill, will make them a shit worker. It’s not even an issue of technical skills.

You have the guys that are often late, because “they have depression”, but will complain that “companies don’t treat employees like adults”. Being on time for work is apparently very difficult. Which doesn’t generally matter in general for dev work, but it ends up affecting other things.

You have the completely socially inept idiots that make half the team hate them and try to avoid working with them, increasing problems and work for other people. Just because they’re socially stupid, have low or no empathy, or are incapable of not being insufferable to others.

You have the people that are so bad at estimating that they keep making up numbers instead of waiting to think for a few minutes and say “ not sure, I need to research and estimate that”.

You have the surprise absentee for dumb as fuck reasons like “my phone died lol sorry”. They never do anything to actually improve, it is just “sorry guys! Btw I will do jackshit about this”.

Or the ones whining about virtually everything, all the time. Wtf why do I have to be on scrum at 12 tomorrow?! Wtf why do I have to record the result of that customer call? Wtf why should I talk with XYZ?

And if you leave them alone, everything burns. They actually need someone to tell them “hey mate you need to improve that, shall we plan something to do so?”. I think managers are useless and unneeded when you have adults working, but it seems like most of the population is composed of children. It’s basically another form of daycare.

And you have to prepare shit around all of these constraints.

Then you have the one guy that reads the requirements, has common sense, and is inoffensive and can work like a normal adult human that needs no baby sitting. A ray of light on this shitshow.

I just want to go back to pure dev.

Coworker: hey can you do this?

Me: sure *couple hours later* it's done.

Coworker several hours later: that thing you did completely changed. Can you update it?

*checks the platform we use so non devs can create web pages* All of my code was erased and I have to restart and add even more functionality. Why the actual fuck would you hire web developers if you're just going to have other employees use a poorly built tool to build pages. Every fucking time something breaks in the shitty fucking app, I have to fix it. Or if it doesn't do some crazy functionality, I have to hack code in there to do it in the ugliest way. Fuck tools like this. Fuck companies who make money off of these tools/use these tools. And fuck the developers who make these shitty tools that give real web developers so much frustration.

Do you know what's better than getting work done. HAVING ANOTHER F****ING MEETING ABOUT WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!

I COULD'VE HAD MOST OF THIS SHIT DONE BY NOW BUT I HAVE TO SPEND 1/2 OF EVERY DAY JUST EXPLAINING WHAT THE F***K I'M DOING, WHAT THE F**K EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND THEN EXPLAINING WHY IT HASN"T BEEN F***ING DONE!

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS LEAVING WHY YOU CAN'T RETAIN ANYONE? YOU HIRED THEM AS FREAKING ENGINEERS PROMISING THEM THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THINGS AND THEY SPEND ALL DAY IN F***ING MEETINGS WASTING THEIR IQ AND WISHING FOR DEATH!

GGAAAHHHHH! BY THE EMPEROR PLEASE COMMISSAR END ME!

I don't understand why so many devs complain about not having money or complain about the company that they work for. We literally have the skills to do whatever the fuck we want in today's world. Literally everything is structured around what we do. If you hate your life so much, do something about it. Granted, I understand if you live somewhere that doesn't allow you to control your own destiny but I'm pretty sure that the majority of the people on this app has the ability to do so. The rewards are endless if you decide to think outside the box just a little bit. Sorry, this has just been on my mind for a while and decided to rant about it here since that's what this app is for.

Having a co-worker who I consistently must support with using the basic funionaity of our software, getting me dragged in to a senior management meeting to tell me and my boss that I am too incompetent to do my job. All because something out of my control was taking longer than they would have liked.

This same co-worker deleted a folder on a server full of live data because they "wanted to see what it would do" then wondered why I revoked their Admin rights to that folder.

I want to scream at them every day.

Performance Review: You’ve slowed down.

My head: I never get to code cause all we do is meetings. Like no shit I have slowed down. Why the fuck do we have 3 days just full of meetings that I don’t even contribute to ?! I’m not gonna do overtime for this shit

Me (actually): Ah, shucks! Guess we can work on that huh?

Hey guys!
Been away for some time. Didn't have anything to tell tbh - until today.

As you may remember I started a new apprenticeship at big (and super cool) company. We develop software for various platforms.
I'm currently working on a plugin displaying some weatherdata. This plugin is supposed to be in 2 of our products. One is pretty nice but a pain in the ass to compile. The second one is a pure WTF. It's a web app with approximately half the functionality but 5x loading time (without demo data!) of the other product.
Well, today I learned why we have this loading time. They use I don't know how much different js frameworks and libraries for every single simple task. "It's easy and Facebook does it too. Besides that why are there frameworks if you could do it native?" HMMM LET ME GUESS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE FUCKING LAZY!?
Why do you need MULTIPLE frameworks for a simple web display!?

When you haven't touched a project in a month and you decide you need to get back into it.

I have pages of dated notes, pseudo-code and function in the still need written. I have about 75% of the actual code up and functional, but I have no idea what I was working on when other things got in the way. I've been staring at this mess that I swear was once organized and made total sense and I'm completely lost.

Why do our brains do this!!

WHY THE FUCK! WHY THE FUCKING FUCK! DO I HAVE TO WAIT 3 FUCKING DAYS TO GET A FUCKING VIDEO RENDERED! i didnt buy a new fucking 2080TI for this! WHY THE FUCK DOES THE CPU RENDER THE FUCKING VIDEO!
I mean, we can do fucking REAL TIME RAY-TRACING! And yet, no fucking idiot came to the Idea, "hmm we could let the GPU its intended purpose and dont use the CPU that much." I MEAN, IT HAPPENED, BUT FUCK IT! FUCK ALL OF THIS! FUCKING 74 HOURS!! FOR AN HOUR CLIP!
(Its 4K tho)
Fuck.

And so net neutrality dies in the US... Mofo Ajit Pai why you do this to us? Literally 80 percent of people are against this repeal. So what the heck does he do? Repeal em of course. Hope he burns in hell forever. By that I mean I hope he has to have really slow internet forever. Now that would be justice.

Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Lead: Yes.
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
Me: Okay.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?

Commas.
I fix one display, and another breaks.

Now I’m getting “$$1002.99” and can’t figure out why. Where is this popup coming from? Where does the encrypted URL point to? What does this ajax call do? Where does the amount go? When does it change? Why is it a string now? Where does the total get defined? How far down the rabbit hole do I need to go?

Short short version:

I found something to try fixing. I made some changes, forced a crash to inspect, and… Joy! My log stopped updating. How long have I been debugging on stale data?

Skipping a long debugging session…

I discover a suspect instance var in a suspect method, and… i have no freaking clue where it’s being defined. It’s used in the class, but never defined in it. Oh, and the name is pretty generic, so searching for it is even more fun.

Just.
Qxfrfjkalstf.

WHO WRITES THIS CRAP?!
AND WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THEM “LEGENDS”? Like, really. That’s the word they use. “Legends.” I still can’t believe it.

goddammit Microsoft, why do I have to remove your fkking internet explorer icon and store icon after every update! noo I don't want it in my bar. gtfo! leave my settings as they were! How hard can it be? Think: does this fuck up someone s personal settings? if yes , DON'T DO IT.

Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."

Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."

I need to stop doing this,
"Fk I have this, this, and this due tomorrow. Well time to implement this cool new thing I found yesterday in my personal project. *2am* okay if I sleep for 4.3 hours and then..."

Why don't I just do required stuff first so I don't have to stress?!

Sigh. This again.

We have Windows users complaining all the time about having their settings reset for each update. Then again, I don't remember default applications on Linux not breaking as soon as you are looking the other way. Why do I have to clarify that I don't want to open text files in LTSpice, or that nobody should ever want to launch first Wine, then Chromium for every PDF file?

Frack! I just found out I have to video record a friend's wedding. Why? Apparently because I'm a developer I suddenly know all things electronic and interacting with humans must be something I enjoy. I do not. Darn my wife and her persuasive sexual superpowers.
Me: "But...but...they are your friends, not mine."
Wife: "If you do this, someone else might have a good wedding night"
Me: *sigh* "What time do I need to be there?"

The family doesn't have much money and can't afford a professional videographer, so I understand (been there), but I'm probably going to have to smile, be nice and..ugh...socialize.

I contributed to my first open source project on GitHub. It is so much better and fun to do. Why have I not been doing this since 🤔😊😁

So there is this one person who keeps asking for help from everybody and expects them to do their code .... And surprisingly they do....

I was done with that shit when I was expected to code for the person .... So I did do it with a comment saying "I have no idea why I get paid" 😂😂😂

I'm waiting for the reviewer to notice this now 😂😂😂

Why is it that every single employer in this field expects you to live and breathe tech and have it as your only source of enjoyment? Can't it just be a job that I show up and do every day and then spend my free time with whatever the hell I want? This morning's job interview:
Hiring manager: so what do you like doing in your free time?
Me: talks about actual hobbies, trying to be personable, making a few jokes, etc
HM: soooo.. nothing tech related then?

I can't imagine any other job expecting this amount of devotion. "So you want to be an accountant but you don't do it after hours for fun!?" Why is this normal?

**Sorry for ranting, job search is getting increasingly frustrating.

I've been fucking around with arch since 9pm and now it's 2am...I have class tomorrow...why did I do this to myself? oh that's right because it looks beautiful.

In-app browsers in mobile apps are so fucking pointless. People have default browsers for a reason. Why the fuck would I want to open external links in your shitty in-app browser?

- Deep-linking wouldn’t work.
- Users might not be authenticated to view the external links so they’ll need to sign the fuck in again - through your app.

Why the fuck do people do this shit?

Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!

"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?

"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!

Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!

I'm having an existential crisis with this client.

We are spending millions of $s every year to make sure the product's performance is perfect. We are testing various scenarios, fine-tuning PLABs: the environment, application, middleware, infra,... And then we provide our recommendations to the client: "To handle load of XX parallel users focusing on YY, yy and Zy APIs, use <THIS> configuration".

And what the client does?
- take our recommendations and measure the wind speed outside
- if speed is <20m/s and milk hasn't gone bad yet, add 2x more instances of API X
- otherwise add 3xX, 1xY and give more CPUs to Z
- split the setup in half and deploy in 2 completely separate load-balanced prod environments.
- <do other "tweaking">

- bomb our team with questions "why do we have slow RTs?", "why did the env crash?", "why do we have all those errors?", "why has this been overlooked in PLABs?!?"

If you're improvising despite our recommendations, wtf are we doing here???

One day I will crack. Hopefully, not sometime soon.

Don't you just hate when your boss goes like:
"Why isn't this feature working?"

SHIT FUCK, IF I KNEW THE REASON, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT SHIT, INNIT?

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?

"Well you should have tested better"

IT TOOK A MONTH FOR 1 USER TO SEE THAT BUG, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE THAT BUG IN THE FEW HOURS OF TESTING I CAN ACTUALLY DO FOR THIS PROJECT?

"There also are other 15 project to get done"

FUCK THIS SHIT

Why the fuck did Oracle change their policies on the official JDK and made the website nigh impossible to use?!

It was shit from the 90s before, and now its still shit just modern.

Why do I have to register do get the JDK, you know Im going to use the fucking 10min mail. I just wanted to setup a freaking build server and I had to go over your retarded website that for some reason *refreshes* and erases the username field everytime I put in the wrong password. Why?

Why is oracle just outright bad at making websites?! Its always a maze to navigate and now it also takes seconds to even load...

This shit is why everyone uses openJDK and adopt. 3 billion devices running java?! Not with your jre/jdk they are not, because It's a pain to get... Don't me even get started on the mess it does on windows server. Why wasn't my JAVA_HOME set automatically?! I lost almost 2 hours because I trusted your piece of shit software to so the one job it has, even reinstalled it completely...

Get your shit together Oracle, this was unacceptable 10 years ago, let alone now

Boss: "do you have a minute?"
Me: "sure"
Boss: "I have this problem, can you just stop doing whatever you are doing and fix it for me?"
Me internally: *no I don't, what I'm doing right now is fixing another one of your problems for which you've interrupted other work already"
Me: "Yeah sure, gimme some time"

Can't afford to fail my internship and I don't want a shitty work environment which I why I don't speak my mind...
But man this is tiring...

Why the fuck did you guys change my vps to read only file system.

WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH TIME.

What do you expect to tell my clients?

I should look into if I have legal rights to migrate everything to a more stable provider.

Sick and tired of having issues because other people fck up. It's a shame I have been using this provider for 5 years without any problems. And now servers left and right start having problems.

A Bad and Sad Day

Hello Monday,

Client : on weekend site went down for 7 hours? Why ?
Me : Let me check the logs
Client : bla bla bla
boss : check ur code bla bla bla
Reason : Some PHP service stopped on server

Client2 : I have purchased this software and you have to made minor changes
Me : Payment Integrations are not working?
Client : Whataa nonsense is this.. you are supposed to do this
Me : We are supposed to do minor changes. They do not have proper payment integrations. If you want we have to write complete code
Client : bla bla.. I gave you working software

:( Why don't you just fuck off .. liars

WHY Atom, when I explicitly select a suggestion do you NOT ACTUALLY AUTOCOMPLETE THE SUGGESTION ?

I have configured so many fucking settings to try to avoid this why is it that I have to explicitly select my option 3 and 4 times before you ACTUALLY auto fill it.

I use you specifically FOR the auto complete function and you FUCK ME OVER ON IT.

I can just not seem to find a text editor or IDE that doesn't annoy the shit out of me one way or the other

teacher assigned me a task for a school project that i dont want do.

i thought "F*uck why i have to waste my time on this shit!?!"

luckily I just discovered that it just required 2 lines of C++ and 10 lines of js.😊

Back when I was in high school I created something like a simple version of MS Paint using Turbo C where the only graphics library function I used was putPixel().

I was so excited and showed it to my mom and what she said was : "Don't you have MS Paint for this, why do you bother creating a new one? Do something productive with your life."

WTF is this shit? Multiply by 0 * Math.pow(2,0) upto Math.pow(2, 10).

Like why the fuck would you write that and not write a comment as to why that logic and explain everything else. Fucking fuck.

Turns out this logic is supposed to mimic the back end logic of breaking the flag value into binary and then set other flags depending on each bit. But why would you do that? I was starting to doubt if 0*n = 0.

This piece of code is inefficient, trying to be smartass, doesn't explain shit and doesn't have the only comment that mattered.

What's with all this micro-certification nonsense that seems to plague the industry? Does anyone actually give a shit that I may have passed some vendor's five day bootcamp?

Apparently I can now have a trophy (virtual, of course) if I complete X online MS courses.

Some of these courses seem to focus on stuff that has no use in day-to-day work.

And I have to actually pay because I learned your product and then pay to maintain the cert in some cases. WTF?!

I can see why the vendors do it---I like free money too---but why have we even let this become a thing.

It's like collecting baseball cards.

I despair of what our industry has become...I really do.

Hello fellow people,

though I'm normally just a lurker, I want to take some time to make some new years resolutions I probably won't follow after a few days, but I do have some small goals I hopefully can achieve.

1. Hopefully not regretting to post this. I get kind of anxious when I think about someone I know could see this. I'm fairly new to this site, so I really don't know what's going to face me.

2. Getting my mental health on the right track.
I could do so much more if I wouldn't be as... occupied with uncomfortable thoughts as of right now, such as feeling as if I am not able to do what I want to do because I'll never achieve anything so why even trying... I want to change that, because I'd be more able to do things I want to do; to have more energy for uni because that's what I originally wanted to do. study computer science because it was and probably is still fun to me. finding the motivation I've had a few months ago.

3. With that follows... trying new things; starting a project and hopefully finishing it.

I don't know. I normally don't do these kind of new years resolution things, but I took this small opportunity, even if it is just for me, to write it down.
Here's to... another chaotic year, as always. But better chaos. I don't know... why am I doing this? This page wasn't meant for this or was it? I'm confused now. I'm sorry if this bothered anyone ^^'

I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.

I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.

Simple there are four other developers on my team. Yet, I do all of the work.

I'm picky about spesific tasks, so I would rather do THOSE by myself, by we have a Trello board where I've marked the tasks I want to do myself, and everything else is open for grabs.

Some tasks I will asign others (one developer specifically) and days will pass and no code gets touched. So I end up having to take it over. :|

Like, guys, I get it. You have other things to do. But could you atleast *try* and help me without me having to ask? If not, then why did you even sign up? I want to get this out the door so our project doesn't go under and we can make some money. I have other things I would like to do as well, you know. Like take a day off, or spend time with my girlfriend.

TL;DR: Why does that online shop NOT support paypal?

I'm a LITTLE pissed.

I wanted to buy some stuff online (since my gf birthday comes closer and I have no city, no car nearby to go shopping) - and this website doesn't support paypal. You know why? Because they had to high fees.

Why on earth don't they do it like any other online shop?! - the user can pay with paypal for a little more % or €.

I don't have an actual credit card but the thing you can get <18yo. Paypal works with it but I can't use any other payment option.

Why do websites have to make their html so fucking hard and complicated to read with something like beautifulsoup. Like I just want to scrape your data. Fuck your embedded iframes and div lists. Why must you do this I JUST WANT YOUR DATA

I have a server. I want to filter connections to that server so only people on my work network can access the server. A quick search yielded my public IP address.

"Is this static?" I asked IT. "Do we have static IP address?"

"What do you mean? What do you need that for? You better know EXACTLY what you are doing before we release that information to you!!!! This needs to go to my manager. My manager is demanding to know why you want that information - we are having Network Engineering look into this request, someone will be in touch to find out more."

I have now been waiting for 3 hours. I think I will just go ahead and assume my IP is not going to change...

What the fuck is up with this fucking tour bus company called Akdeniz?
These fucking retards want me to login to instagram etc. to get wifi access. Like wtf. Is not my 30 TL not enough?
Are you really going to save my login data for a few TL? Why would you dipshit people want me to login with my social media account (besides of that I do not even have an Instagram account. Miss me with that gay shit.)
I do not have a fucking fuckbook and a twittermyass.
I hope y'all fucking die by sucking my long ass dick, incompetent braindeads!

This might seem like a dumb rant to have but I just started a new job, and I asked my boss about the Work From Home policy and basically, there is no work from home, at all. I'm bummed out because I got into a really good WFH rhythm at my last job and now I have to go into the office every day, even though I am stationed in a different city than the main company office anyway. I'm already remote! Why do I have to pay to come into work remotely anyway!? Argh.

So I'm in start up type situation with 9 employees. However this isn't a fucking standard business environment it's the military. Now I have to do all the dev myself, which is no problem the issue is my bosses do not understand technology at all. I mean they can send an email and know their way around excel, that's it. So when trying to explain to them why our Twitter or Facebook bot can't do XYZ it's like banging my head against a wall.

Over the last year, I’ve only started learning computer science at uni, never done it before.

I’ve done units in:
- Alg. and programming fundamentals in python
- Intro to comp sci
- alg. and data structures
- theory of computation

Guess the point of this is, “why do people code, what aspirations do you all have?”
Cause rn, I’m all about “I have no idea what I’m doing, coding just seemed cool and I wanted to try it out.” Don’t know where to go

Someone inspire me???
Here is a legit reason for you to brag about what you do and what you’re going to do 😉

Today's rant will be brought to you by the letters A, W, and S.

I stayed up all night, ALL NIGHT, and finished this cool new feature, which is an integration between two technologies that tmk has not been done before. In short, I invented a thing last night.

Then at 5 fucking 30 this morning my EC2 fucking died. No SSH, no HTTPS... nothing... can't get into it to see what's up.

Put in a support request to AWS and finally went to bed. Wake up this morning to still nothing.

Can't wait for AWS support, try stopping and starting my instance... nevermind I'll have to re-setup SSH, and VS Code, and Workbench.. (which why the fuck can't I keep an IP through a reboot in the first fucking place!)

But nevermind that I was willing to do all that... this piece of shit won't start up any fucking way.

Fuck.

Now I have to rebuild this fucking EC2... and I could try to snapshot it... but that would probably fuck up too, so I'm just going to do it by fucking hand like I do everything else.

Fuck AWS.

I have now turned the name board in my cubicle to hide my name.

Why you ask? Not because I don't like my name, or dislike my name board (there's this little design on it which is just delightful).

It is to make it a bit more difficult for new morons who don't know who I am or where I sit. Can't do much more than that because I have a desktop.

Why most of the Indian developers code so bad? I face it very often, with my colleagues, with the freelancers we hire, even with our clients.

I am an Indian, and I feel so much disgusted (& sad as well) when a client tell us that they have a dedicated team to rework on the code which they outsource from India. If you visit a freelancing website you will see that the Indian developers have the least price, and they bid on literally anything even without understanding what they need to do. And finally when they get a job, they complete it, but with a fully f*cked up code and the worst architecture possible.

I have a lot of friends working in IT, and I personally know that they do not have any passion about programming. They just work for money, nothing else. I don't understand, why? My 7 years of IT career is probably not long enough to find a suitable answer for this 'why'.

It hurts if you see this on Google Analytics for a Windows 10 UWP app!!
Google, I know you hate MS. Why do you have to show it on me??!!😢😢

I want to rant.

Can we just have a "CUT THE BULLSHIT" mode in racing games for people with jobs? Like fuck this shit, just give me all the Lamborghinis, McLarens and Bentleys and let me play the game god damn it.

I barely get time to play this game, now why the fuck do I have think about putting in extra effort to get rewards. And I'm the one paying you in the first place.

I just paid you 60 bucks for the game now why do I have to grind out the game with shitty ass cars to get a decent car where the game actually starts to be fun.

What is it with people just blindly fucking copy pasting from a different project, seeing it work and then submitting it for review.

You copy 2 lines, one of which fixes the thing, WHY KEEP THE OTHER USELESS IRRELEVANT PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT IN THE FUCKING CODE WHY BOTHER WITH KEEPING IT IN IT'S MORE TECH DEBT BECAUSE NOBODY WILL KNOW WHY IT'S THERE

WHY DO I CONTINOUSLY HAVE TO POINT THIS OUT IT'S SO FICKONG TIRING TO CONSTANTLY HAVE TO BE THE ANNOYING REVIEWER WITH +20 COMMENTS ON SMALL PRS IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING 'THAT GUY'

In my language it's called being 'slordig'. Whenever I submit sometning for review I always go over the diff to see is I missed anything that is no longer required and remove it WHY DONT THEY DO THAT TOO

And then their PR stays open for 2 weeks like they forgot about it and during standup they say 'its in review' like I havent already looked at your piece of shit code

FUCK

Why do people think it is weird to have job (programming) also be your hobby?!?

I get annoyed with this kind of people, if I like what I do, and have spent infinite amount of hours enjoying while learning, I think it is normal to have job as your hobby. Or even better phrasing, it is normal to have hobby as your job!!!

anyone ever had a relative download a virus and when confronted about it they say no? even though you specifically told them not to open weird looking emails.

well, pops apparently did NOT open a ransomware email 😂 Baby, bye, bye, bye... to all the files

Hey so this may be a harsh one. Me and my friend are computer science and game development students and he's now in Programming 2 and he's not understanding day 1 concepts (i.e. "you dont have to redefine a variable every time you use it", "That's a string why are you setting it to 0?", "the program needs to take in user string input how would you do that?", etc.) and at this point I don't know how to help him actually understand and retain information. What do I do?

I am so much stunned i cannot form a sentence on what to say. Lost 3 days trying to fix a bug on why socket.io was connecting to backend TWICE per user. I cannot fucking comprehend this. Backend works fine because via postman it doesnt connect twice. Everything works fine. 72 fucking hours waste d of my life just to find out i had to change

<React.StrictMode>
<App />
</React.StrictMode>

Into

<App />

When i tell you my jaw fucking dropped it fucking did. And it does not drop often or that easily for me. What the FUCK is react strict mode???? FUCK react. I fucking hate this piece of garbage framework. I even like nextjs better. React💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩motberfucker WHY is strict mode fucking my code what use does it have who gives a shit why does it have anything to do with websocket connection FUCK react 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩 how does this piece of camel turd have anything to do with duplicate connection 💩💩💩💩MFKKCER this garbage doesnt exist in my beautiful angular or nextjs PLS why this cancer has to be so headaching i knew I'll get FUCKED if i dont go over a detailed course learning react from scratch. Now im suffering. Learning this garbage the hard way FUCK off

Why isn't this ready for testing yet?

Could it be that despite multiple meetings emails and face to face conversations none of you have provided me with what I actually need?

Yes I can create you new email and SMS campaigns. But I need two little things first.
1 The template text.
2 The sign off forms from compliance

Without them I can't do shit. So stop chasing me on where we're at because I've been chasing you on this for two weeks.

This shit here is why I'm the grumpy It guy.

Why the hell is JS so terrible, and why do so many people resort to using is as a back end. So many packages, so many outdated dependencies. My coworkers and friends have heard me rant about my constant frustration with this terrible setup.

I understand the need for dynamic html but why have we bastardized this language to the extent we have.

Keep your projects up to date, it saves people a lot of trouble in the future.

Introduction:
Privileged in this context means logged in and have a administrator-confirmed access.

Customer calls us: Why do I see prices in my shop? I should have been privileged first to see them. Looks to me that you did not make prices only get displayed when I am privileged.

Salesman: Sure we did this. May I asked whether you are logged in right now?

Customer: Of course. I am testing the process of placing an order with my test customer account.

*crickets*

Customer: I am so sorry for calling. You are right.

Mother fucking candy crush cunts fucking Microsoft FUCK OFF REPEATEDLY REINSTALLING THIS FUCKING SHIT!!! THREE FUCKING TIMES TODAY I HAVE 'UNINSTALLED' THEM. Yet somehow, they keep FUCKING COMING BACK. not updating, haven't even clicked ok to install them, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CONTROL MY PC MØRE THAN I DO! FUCK OFF!

Security! I wish clients would listen to me regarding security...

The client has started to ask me to give them access to all the logins I have for the email, domain, server etc.
I created them a new account and gave them admin access.

Now they’re asking for password for all the email accounts (I don’t even store them). So I asked why, she wanted to have them in case some of the employees forgot their password.

I explained to her, deeply and many times, WHY THIS IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA. I also discovered she’s keeping it in a document, clear text.

Why do they pay me for support, when they want to have access to everything...

I’m wondering if they’re planning to find someone else to do their support, or do it themselves.

I didn’t even think 25€ pr month is that expensive for support

!Dev

Sitting in a bus on 19 hour ride with my class to England a few things to rant about came to my mind:

Why the fuck do you have to blast shitty german rap music out of your fucking JBL boxes and why do you have to turn up the volume so much that I can still hear it although I am wearing headphones, listening to music and sitting 5 fucking rows in front of you.

Also why the fuck do clocks in buses never display the right time? How hard can it be to make the clock display the right fucking time?

Another thing: why does this bus which is especially made for long rides not have a fucking trash can?! Seriously wtf?

Rants aside I am really looking forward to staying in England for a week although I won't have a computer for the next week :(

Another thing: why the fuck is the coffee you get at pull-ins so fucking disgusting ?
Like srsly, it is made by a machine and still tastes like thrown-up.

And why the fuck does everyone look weirdly at you when you buy a can of red bull but everything is fine when someone my age drinks 3+ liters of beer and then throws up? What the fuck? People look at me weirdly when I tell them that I don't drink any alcohol, heck I am actually not even allowed to do so because I am 15 and not 16 (beer is allowed in Germany if you are 16+ but nobody really cares about that). Heck where I am from they even encourage you to drink beer? What the fuck??!!

Anyway looking forward to England and also sorry about the long non-dev related rant. Just had to rant about some people and society.

P.S. do you know any (preferably free) Android apps / games where you have to code or just solve problems with logic?

So I'm taking embedded systems subject in my masters course. They have mixed this subject's content with electrical engineering and I'm a computer science graduate. Everything was perfect until I reached to GPIO board.
Wtf is this shit?
Why it has so many holes and what are they for?
What I'm supposed to do with it?
What is ground? Transistor?
Why I'm connecting to two pins only instead of the 4 pins of a button?

Thanks to pi4j i think i will pass the subject!

You know, I really like my Redmi 4x. It's a nice and inexpensive phone and perfect for me. Now I wanted to get the most out of my phone by rooting it, which was going to be easy.

I thought. And lord almighty was I wrong.

First of all, to even get to root it you have to unlock the bootloader. To do that you have to use a tool that they've made. Good! An official way to do so would surely be good, I thought. But to actually use the tool you have to be logged in to their service on both the tool and your phone. Then, and get this, you have to submit a written application as to why you would want to unluck the bootloader.

Ohh but it didn't stop there. I did so and months passed without me getting any info from them what so ever. When trying the tool it would just tell me that they hadn't reviewed my application.

Today I tried again, and something new happened. It told me that I hadn't synced my accounts. Which I promptly did because it's progress.

I tried for what should be the final time, aaaand I get this. This according to the forums means I have to wait 72 hours to be able to do it.

But it's progress, right?

Uuugggghhhh

CSS gradients are so ugly 🤮
I makes the website look like from 2003...
(When used incorrectly)

Why are people doing this?
Poor websites...

When I see sth like this I have the urge to write the creator an email and ask for improving the site...
Do other Web Designers have similar problems? Help...

FML. Wednesday evening i started working on a personal project that i wished to complete till Thursday night

Thursday ,5th july, my birthday (fuck it). Went mad on project , 11:40 of night , it was still incomplete.

Fuckit fuckit fuckit, i have to do it , i have to do it. But here comes another idea that seems implementable 😑

6th july ,9:30 am of morning and then its complete ( not 100% market product levl complete, but , yeah i did all that i felt i can do)

My body temperature :103 -_-
I AM FUCKIN ILL NOW AND WHY DO I HAVE TO ALWAYS DO THIS NIGHT CODING !!!!
fucking excitements -_-
Don't you guys ever go through this phase? When you are so excited about a project you can't seem to think beyond that? And end up hurting your body?

I do wish that we could have a dev dating site. Why? Cause I cannot give my girlfriend enough time and then she gets moody and then this leads to breakup.

Now I have to freaking choose between her or code this is bad, bad.

If we devs get dev gf she knows how things work and things would work out

Me: does literally anything
Npm: breaks

Why NPM? Why must you do it? This is the third time this week on a third system. I just wanted to update so my packages would work. But nooooooo. Oh you wanna update? It'd be a real shame if I, I don't know, didn't update properly whatsoever and all of a sudden couldn't find any internal modules I need to run.

"Just use npm i npm@latest"

Yeah I would except for the whole I can't use NPM at all thing. even npm -v breaks. Can't find internal module. So I literally have to wipe eveey trace of npm/node and do a clean install.

It's so frustrating! I can't do any work because I spend all my damn time fuckin around with NPM.

Tired of dealing with shitcode, that's all I always inherit. Maybe I picked the wrong career? or maybe I shouldn't have even read about things like SOLID or picked up Clean Code.

Then again if I hadn't, I wouldn't be where I am. But I'm unhappy. Why do I always get these projects where the poeple who wrote them (and dissappeared) clearly had no proefficiency on the used tech stack.

Am I ever gonna be part of a project with an actual lead/architect, who strives for the code not to rot?

Maybe I'm just being a little bitch whinning over this?

Halp!! the more I code, the more I hate it. It wasn't like this when I was the architect. But I didn't make as much money as I do now...

What do I do

*Nervous student comes in for the first interview I am conducting as a developer*

Me (as an interviewer): What is best approach to search data?

Student: It will take linear time but if data is sorted, we can do it in logarithmic time.

Me: [Smiles] Take a hint Hash Map?

Student: Yes, with it, we can do it in constant time.

Me: Okay, Bloom Filter anytime?

Student: *sweating* noooo...

Me: Okay. I am a developer so I know this.

Student: *about to cry*

Me: No problem but why will you search data when there is no problem? Don't you have better work.

Student: *confused* yup

Me: *laughs but immediately controls* Take it lightly. You know what you need to do this job. You are HIRED. :)

As a rookie programming, I wrote really bad code and didn't understand why. Now, I've improved to where I know bad code, but I continue writing studios horrible solutions. And in the end up refactoring much until I don't have energy to look at my code anymore. This although knowing what I should/shouldn't do. Shame!

Things I didn't say to this project advisor, which I wish I could have:
1. Tales of your incompetence do not interest me.
2. You cannot just say something is bad and have absolutely zero direction of how it could be improved. You cannot criticize and then in response to "how do you want it changed?" say "idk".
3. You're incompetent, and I have zero clue as to whose ass have you kissed to get to where you are.
4. I hope you suffer, more than you make people who work with you suffer.
5. Now I know why the other guy resigned.
6. I'm glad that this project is over by the end of this week. I'm just afraid that you may drag it out for longer, so my fears don't let me enjoy the idea of not seeing you ever again.

Meeting at 'Derp & Co', the topic was what data model should send the back-end to frontend & app via API calls:

- Coworker: 'we should send the data structured like this for reasons'.
- Me: 'Yeah, this nested object.object.object should do the trick for the front end, but this will be a pain in the ass to convert to POJOs. Why not use something like idk better structure?'

<Mad/intrigued faces>

- CoworkerS: 'Why you need to use POJOs?'
- Me: <More Mad> 'cause I work with java in android... and we have/need/like objects?

<Captain Obvious left the room>

- CoworkerS: 'Oh yeah, well... we can do it the way you say'.

Why you need Objects... what is the next?
- Git? For what? Did not have the usb key from day one?

Being lazy taught me more about (code) automation that years of study ever did.

“Ugh! Updating translations is boring, why do I have to do this manually?”

“Damn I really hate having to remember endpoints”

“Oh, come on! Its the third time I initialise this the same way!”

I’d love to say this is a motivational speech or something but no, im just lazy lol

Java, or: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome the programming language.

Took some leave recently to interview for a new job. Back to work to find that I have nothing to do. Asked for more work and got nothing. This place just gives me constant reminders of why I'm looking elsewhere

Just graduated, first real internship.
So basically I'm the only one who do what I'm supposed to do, nobody can help me because they are on project that are totally different. Even my superior who hired me don't know what my predecessor exactly did, he just gave me his gitlab and said "continue... Whatever this shit was".
So I'm alone and the code of my "predecessor" doesn't work obviously because the half of the files are missing, the code has no explanation and he's not joignable. I have to build an algorithm of deep learning from scratch and to do a presentation in one month to explain to everyone why I'm not useless.
Is it really like this everywhere?? Is it the reason why DevRant was created??
I read the quotes when I was in school like "oh no c'mon that really never happened". Foolish boy I was..

But there's nice coffee

Human-robot studies suck.

Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?

Algorithms teacher: I don't know how to work this thing. (computer) ... Students constantly have to go up front and help him do basic computer stuff. Even worse, he types with two fingers! Why education system must you suck so bad???

Cellphone sizes keep on increasing. The only phone under 5 inches that are worth buying are all iPhones.

I've been using Android phones since HTC dream. Looks like I'll have no choice but to switch to iPhone this or next year.

What phone do you use? Do you like big phones? Why?

I have small hands :(

So I have an ancient PC at home that has been refusing to boot for the past 3 days. It somehow magically worked this morning and THE POWER WENT OUT FOR 1 MILLISECOND WHILE I WAS WORKING AND IT'S NOT WORKING ANYMORE GODDAMMIT FLUCTUATIONS WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

Why!!!
Why must some devs make life complicated!!!!!!

So, here I am enjoying my day (well enjoying the meetings that are taking me away from working) when I get a bug report that script X isn't sending out emails anymore.

Ok that's weird, this as far as I know uses the same email class as every other email being sent out from this project, and they all work.

Let's go have a quick dig...

function sendEmail(){
/*do a bunch of stuff*/
}
Is being used, well that's odd, it should be $emailService->send()
But what ever, it's probably an old wrapper for legacy sake since this script was written years ago. But nope, I almost cried, it's a wrapper for mail() isolated into this script.

Like for fucks sake, why in the hell would this be used when there's an entire fucking class that's tried and tested and only looses 1 email every few months, coz shit happens.

Errrrr.... sometimes i really wonder why people can't just do what they need to do the first time round.

Dear all mobile games that block background audio,

Fuck you.

Sometimes I just wanna turn my brain off, play a stupid mobile game and listen to some music

But I can’t FUCKING DO THAT IF YOU BLOCK BACKGROUND AUDIO!!!

WHY?!? WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD YOU HAVE FOR THIS!!!

Sincerely, an annoyed and stressed student

I just cant Wrap my head around matrices and linear Algebra.

I am currently doing a uni course about this and need to implement some eigenvalue solvers. I somehow manage to implement the stuff with the help of pseudocode and the internet but I have nö idea conceptually what all these things like norms, eigenvalues, conditioning etc are supposed to tell me and why.
How do people handle this so naturally?

Dev: Hey this library you are mandating the use of doesn’t do one of the things you assumed it does

Non-Tech Manager: Well I think it does because I looked at it and that’s what it seemed like and the only reason you can’t figure it out is you are a bad developer and have attitude issues that’s why you are failing. You need to look on the bright side of things more often. This library has over 100k downloads which means it must do what people want it to. I think the problem is you. We can’t spend anymore time on this we have to just fix it and move on.

My image of dream career through different times of my life:
- frontend specs prodigy, css enlightenment, a member of w3c or a similar committee
- indie hacker and entrepreneur, leader of a startup community
- architecture prodigy, expert in scalability
- transsexual evangelist, popular article writer and a rockstar
- hardware engineer: Linux, C, chip and dale’s Gadget-like girlfriends, xkcd, latex, assembly, buying a radio station and a telescope
- scientist like NickyBones, papers, data, more data
- art expert

Though achieving one of this would take the entire life, I had a chance to grasp all of this. WHY does they feel so incompatible? Why do I have to choose?

Why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel like I haven’t achieved anything even though I objectively achieved what I dreamed of like five years ago?

Is it true that it’s in my nature to always seek an environment to feel like a junior in? Is feeling like a junior only pleasant to me because it reminds me of old times when I wasn’t actually this mentally ill and was still happy?

Why do I feel like that arduino and C shit is the equivalent of a red corvette?

How the fuck did my company decide a single toilet stall is enough? Are they really this cheap? Why must I go to the bathroom three times before I can actually use it? Why do they think one is enough for 100 male employees? In their defence, they do have urinals, but I'm not comfortable using them.

So many questions and I STILL NEED TO GO!

Why React is soo complicated? Seriously why do we always need to use some stupid shit like this

const [state, setState] = useState();

what the fuck is this? Who designed it that way, why it should always look like shit for no reason? Why its API feels like spaghetti? When i am comparing other front-end frameworks they feel like heaven in their structure.

AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME HAVING A QUOTE ON A PARAGRAPH ELEMENT, WHY DO I HAVE TO USE FUCKING HTMLENTITES FROM 2000?

FUCK&apos;ERE

I have a course at my university about personal data and it feels more than a law course than a computer science one. I asked the teacher why do we have to be taught that subject and how would we be able to use what we learn in real life and she got triggered, telling me that with just by coding I won’t achieve anything and i have to learn more topics and if I didn’t want to be taught this subject why did i choose the university.
I just made a question you fuckin butthurt, chill the fuck out.

Why the hell are senior engineers coming to me me to debug and figure out issues? I don't even own this code..why should I care? Does your brain stop working as soon as you see the stack trace leave the code you have written? You are getting paid more than I do so go figure it out yourself. Why are you asshats even getting paid more than me? How did you even get there if you can't debug? Again why am i getting paid less than these asshats

I have an issue with my Laravel routing. Can you help me out, @bittersweet?

I have a custom "/home" route called "/admin" and I set the protected property in the LoginController:

$redirectTo = "/admin";

And it works fine, if I log in from guest. But when I navigate to "/login" as auth-user it still redirects me to "/home".

What the fuck is this? What do I have to change to make this work? Who has to be fucked? Is it possible to solve this without sacrificing a virgin at bloodmoon? And why are Platypus so fucking ugly?

Why do corporate douchebags keep hiring fucking cheap ass local hardware companies? What is this mysterious fucking attraction they have towards shitty IT?

My fucking phone literally has more RAM than my work laptop. I want to go home earlier just so I can get some actual work done on my non retarded personal laptop.

So I have this PO who is able to understand technicalities. He is also able to use postman and has access to our code - don't ask why. He is trying stuff out with our apis, looking through code to understand parts of the software, etc.
So there are two sides of having a PO who is able to understand us devs on a certain level:
On the one hand you can explain why story x is taking longer than expected. You can even discuss in a proper way, which is nice. On the other hand is he a bit over the top: when we plan stories he already analysed everything, put code into the story and is telling us how to solve an issue or implement a story.
The sad part is that none of my colleagues seem to be bothered by the fact that he is doing my work.
And recently i even heard a sentence like: "I do not understand why this story should have 3Sp. Would be way lower when I do it". Well.. then do it yourself freaking idiot.
That goes so far that he tells other teams how to fix their code when there is an issue, because he has access to the code and can (unfortunately) read it..

Very unpleasant. :/ So: do you guys have/had the same issues? Am I overreacting?

I just woke up after 2 hours sleeping. I feel like I have been in a car wreck. JESUS CHRIST THIS IS WHY I DON'T SLEEP WHEN IT'S STILL DAY.. Now I have to wait some time to clear my head to do some coding..

receive multi year old confused bug/feature request from a former CEO

why

are there not other people who can immediately answer the questions instead of playing broken telephone when it arrives to me, to go find them

do you not have better things to do with your time and other directional priorities for the company or should i really muck around this low priority thing?

i guess i just lack the CEO M I N D S E T, also the compensation package

Well, I am not sure whether this is supposed to be about worst experience as a reviewER or a reviewEE so I'ma do both. First as a reviewer.

So, on my first project in this company, I introduced automated build scripting (read: suggested, was "volunteered" to do it, then had to bust my ads to get it done). Prior to this, our process was run the thing in Visual Studio a bunch of times (don't ask) and package the resulting files. Well, new requirements made this not sustainable.

So after many many meetings in which I assured my co-workers that the script wouldn't cock up and go sideways and format our server (HOW???) and showed them how to work it AND added all the features they requested. I finally send the script out for code review. Oh the joy. Questions like: "why did you implement this?" Came from the guy who told me to implement it. "Can you change the formatting?" I checked and no. "Why isn't this to the code standard?" Because the code standard doesn't include scripting languages.

And here is the piece that takes the whole piss soaked shitsicle pie "I don't understand why we're doing this in the first place. We have a build process already, why do we need a new one?" FUCKING REALLY?!?!? YOU WERE IN THE GODS DAMNED MEETING WHERE WE DECIDED TO DO THIS!!! SET OUT THE REQUIREMENTS!!! LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THIS SCRIPT YOU WERE THERE AND YOU'RE ASKING WHY WE'RE DOING IT NOW!?!?! Fucking hell. I forced it through anyway because I had the higher ups all signed off on it, but seriously. Just because we're doing something new that slightly inconveniences you, doesn't mean it doesn't need to be done. Stop being afraid of change.

Side note: these people actually would regularly hold up process and product improvement because change is scary.

So..there is 2 of us working on a Wordpress site, my job is front-end and make it look nice, the other persons job is to do some backend development(dont ask me what and why, I have no idea). Basically, I was waiting for the other person to finish his part so I can do front end development. I was expecting it to be just a theme, and then I fix it, add new stuff, etc etc, like usually..but the horror I saw, THE FUCKING "BACKEND" PERSON HAS ACTUALLY MADE A FUCKING THEME EVEN THOUGH IT IS MY FUCKING JOB. Now dont get me wrong, I wouldnt mind if I did almost zero work and got paid, but..THE FUCKING THEME WAS UGLY AS A TWO HEADED DICK SMOKING A FUCKING CIGARETTE. There was STRONG RED FUCKING EVERYWHERE, padding between posts was basically -20px. Well ok, I could have just started making a new theme, but there was already some stuff in this one we needed so I went it it and tried to make it look nice. And trust me, it is great now, great colors, fonts, shadows, button animations, everything, even looks great on mobile.

I started making some changes to the header, and I noticed that post title changes also..hmm wonder why..So I inspect element and what do I see, TAG OF THE FUCKING POST TITLE IS <HEADER>???? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, IF YOU TRIED TO DO SOME FRONT END, AND YOU SAY YOU KNOW SOME, WHY DO FUCKING FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT???????? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO MY JOB IF YOU SUCK AT IT??? DONT DO MY FUCKING JOB, I SUCK AT "BACKEND" AND I DONT FUCKING DEAL WITH DATABASES OR TRY TO MAKE THEM FOR YOU!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHH FUCK

You can't have order without a little bit of PUBLIC DISORDER.

Now, is disorder this order or is this order disorder? Now why do you have to save the world heavy on disorder.

I think I'm somewhere between the sacred silence, and sleep.

Me searching for some landing page templates and now I wonder, why the f*ck are the majority of them written React/NextJS??? It is a simple HTML Page, why do you guys have to overload this sh*t with a full-blown JS Framework??

"when you are filtering by [field] actually don't filter and display the stuff in the list, just make it impossible for the user to purchase at checkout."

... Why do we even have filters then? :/

I get some marketing guy believes making the user do the whole process helps sales, but...
1) In reality this just makes users not use your website and go on a competitor's
2) this is doable if you have 2-3 entries, not on 100+ entries, duh!

I was trying to watch an instructional YouTube Python video (on my Android phone) while it was dark in my bedroom, and then I remembered that Youtube for Android doesn't have a damn dark mode... NOOOOOOOO!!! :( :(
Why did you do this to us Google!

I just want to thank Windows 10. Because of 3 updates in a week I got to do almost no work, spend 4hrs understanding why I was in a recovery mode loop, and make me lose a days worth of work by hiding the only folder I stupidly left on my C drive post update.
Without this I’d actually have to do work to get paid, and that’s just gross.

Okay soooo.... I have this laptop that I use a little less often but is bugging me about. So WINDOWS just decides to RAMP UP THE HARD DRIVE TO ALL HELL WHENEVER I NEED TO USE IT.

I have a few options:
- Replace the 1TB 5400RPM with a 120GB SSD and do Linux
- Replace the 1TB with the 120GB and do a fresh install of Windows
- Replace Windows with Linux, keeping the 1TB
- or reinstall Windows

Which do you suggest and why?

Spotify you little shithead how often do I have to reset the random mode for you to finally play stuff at random and not loop the same 20 songs? WTF? you literraly have like 1k of them in this list and you loop 20! HOW AND WHY <.< i even pay for you. Get it together.

Anyone else feeling murderous mood today for no reason? I'm not even at work yet...

My left cortex: You have a paper to write @poster983. Put devrant down.

My right cortex: NO! Enjoy yourself. You have a study hall tomorrow. Do it then.

My left cortex: Remember, you already said that about history. Best to do it now!

*mouth makes farting noise*

My Right cortex: COME ON! IT'S HUCKLEBERRY FINN. JUST USE SPARK NOTES! DO IT L A T E R!

My left cortex: fuck you right.

My right cortex: right back at you.

*Snapchat buzzes*
My full brain: OK HALT THE DEVRANTS! THE BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING!

(Notice the recursion here?). This is why I can't ever write papers.
Same thing applies to when I'm programing. I end up spending 2 hours on something that only should have taken me 1.

My left cortex: Stop Ranting!

Help me.
💩

I've now spent 6 hours trying to find a way to do something similar, as you can do in Neo4j, where you find relations up to depth 5, in PostgreSQL.
The issue is, I have to tables. One with persons, another one with relations (incoming ID and outgoing ID) to have a many to many relationship.

I'm at the point where I just don't care getting it to work. In Neo4j it's a fucking one liner, so why the fuck am I getting assigned to do this in PostgreSQL?
To prove a point? Well fuck you, I'm done with this shit.

I fucking hate asp.net web forms. Today we implemented listboxes, so we expected them to just be a wrapper for HTML listboxes. NOPE! They are simply selects. Why they decided to hijack the name and do this, I don't know. That does explain why they don't have multiple columns like true listboxes.

So glad that for the next project, which we should start by the end of May, we'll be moving to MVC and .Net core. This shit is so stupid!

The assholes in my class (or just my classmates) keep asking me:"Yo, man, do you hack to websites and stuff?" And I always say " No, I don't really know how" and they keep saying " why won't you learn how to do this, shouldn't be that hard" and it's getting really hard to explain to them that I have no desire to ruin someones day, I just want to help people and make others happier. Any ideas for new answers for these questions?
Or, if you like, any good websec books?

Time for me to feel stupid. I have been reading here for a week, and only saw a way to do a -1 on a post or a comment. Turns out that Chrome is NOT showing me the +1 about the current ranking. I had to switch to Microsoft Edge to see it. I thought that I had to hit a certain plus level before I could plus others. ARGH!! So many posts that I have to find again. Why, Chrome, did you do this to me??

Part of the problem, So many dev's here know the real problem with OS's governments and 3ed party apps happly spying on you and making there EULA to so called make it right for them to do it.

I want to know why so many dev's are portending this is not happen or why they not caring, you become part of the problem if your willing to work with the problem and there rules and guide lines.

WE dictate the future of tech not one company or another the people that create the software are the ones can make a difference, the users need to be educated and the dev need to take action now.

I loved this site at first but now I hate it I really do as so many posts are just blind or follow evil companies/software so on this is not how it should be, I wont accept this bull shit anymore and I not going to say quite to show the mass I going to follow them.

Step up and do something about it or stop calling yourself's dev's your part of the problem, you have the a gift and know how to help everyone do it and prove your worth.

I am really sorry I know some here do research and try and help but I rarely seeing it at the moment, things need to change, its not going to be easy but only the dev's can change this and soon, soon all OS's/software companies will get the feeling governments are on there side and governments what this so they have a back door in to WHO you are. FK the or if you have nothing to hide, EVERYONE has something to hide, compaines have already used Facebook Data to fire people working for them as they feel they shouldn't have to have someone working for them who likes or does XYZ,

Open your eyes people, small time dev's are not really included in this but big time dev's that do know how to work around these problems should be working on this to stop these problems, hardware venders are also a big problem but that's not something we can do anything about yet.

I know this rant will go on death ears to some, others will think I am over the top nut but if you really want to make a differences let's here it, lets get this world back on track, its not going to be easy but it we can do it.

Why does this happen....
I go , hey I just finished this project (app for example since they the worst culprit)

Why ... Are the next words out of the other persons mouth is, oh I had an idea for an app ....

Why do they then proceed to tell you an app that exists , or an app that's ridiculous like

You know calenders ... Yeah I do... What about a calendar that syncs to your friends one when you want to do an event .... You mean Facebook events... Yeah but for calenders 🤔😥😒

Why does the general population think one.... It's easy to build and costs nothing and two that without research they have the best idea on earth.

Just "finished" a side project (I know right, unprecedented) to be graced immediately afterward with another approach to vastly improve one of its features. Well shit, now I HAVE to implement it otherwise it'll just bug the shit out of me for the rest of time!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME BRAIN! JUST LET ME FINISH MY SHITTY SIDE PROJECTS WITH PEACE AND QUIET!

the closer i get to the ending

the higher the resistance

the harder i fight the battle to win

the harder life tries to prevent me from winning

just when we were about to finish

just in that moment life did its best to not make it happen

why

what do you want from me

i am just a human being

what wrong have i done in trying to help mankind

what is happening

why is this happening

what... do you want..... from me.......

I know nothing about this.
Let's say your computer is on all night, and then you hit it in the morning, just re-activating all your windows... for me, it's always like a 10 minute wait until it "catches up".

I realized this morning, like, why doesn't it optimize itself while I'm away, so that when i do come back, that 10 min wait doesn't happen.

I'm sure they have thought of this, so why does it take so fucking long to wake up your computer.

Me: trying to do any simple fucking project
Me: cant figure out how to do something simple or cant figure out how to start or how something should work.
Me *Looks up problem* (everytime...)
results: SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT OF.

Am I just a shitty programmer, a shitty learner, or just not cut out for this? because I fucking Love this field. this is the only thing I ever want to do. BUT I CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME EVEN WITH LANGUAGES IM GOOD AT!! WHICH IS JUST PYTHON AND IM STILL SHIT AT THAT.

I TRY TO DO PROJECTS WITH JS, OR C, OR PYTHON PICK WHICHEVER ONE. AND I NEVER KNOW HOW I SHOULD START IT, AND IF I LOOK UP HOW TO DO IT ITS SO MUCH LONGER AND COOLER AND BETTER THAN MY DUMBASS WOULD HAVE DONE (and longer in a good way because its well thought out and works)

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A REAL JOB IN THE FIELD IF I CANT MAKE THE RANDOM IDEAS THAT I SEE ON THE INTERNET AND WHY CANT I MAKE THEM AS GREAT OR LONG AND SHIT ON MY OWN. SO MANY PEOPLE CAN WRITE SO MANY LINES OF CODE AND FUNCTIONS AND ALL THIS SHIT THAT WORKS AND YEAH THEY LOOK UP SOME PROBLEMS BUT NOT HOW TO FUCKING DO THE ENTIRE THING LIKE SOME FUCKING RETARD
AWDJKBAKWJBDAOLK;JWDBOALBJKWODANLWIO;NIAWDN;PIAWLDJBAWIDHB
I CANT GO A PROJECT WITHOUT LOOKING UP HOW TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE MY LITTLE BRAIN CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT

what the fk how hard can it be to have a working version of the software on the master/ ros-version branch? Why is this thing always broken?! HOW?!

Had to update today unfortunately, and man, I have been "installing" this shit for over 3 hours now. Use the .install they said. It will be fast they said. Ye sure, my ass. The Dependencies are broken and incomplete as always and the tutorial is not up to date. Big suprise. I get it, it's a lot of work to keep these things up to date. But please if they are this broken and incomplete why are they released in the first place.
And then they wonder why I don't manage to do my work on time. Yeah, cause I'm stuck debugging this shit <.<'

Why is school such a bullfuck, we've learned SQL basics and I've used SQL a little so I thought I won't have a problem. WELL FUCKING HELL WAS I WRONG. Joining 4 tables together with inner join WTF who the fuck uses that, why the fuck do I need to know this, WHY THE FUCK IN A TEST WHEN WE HAVEN'T LEARNED SUCH BULLSHIT. Well how about adding a foreign key to a table that doesnt need one. Well ok have fun with a key that does absolutely nothing and on top of all those convoluted tasks the texts are a mess, they give unnecessary information with grammar of a 9 year old and the pictures are not even readable. They are fucking hieroglyphs.
Fuck school.
Gonna do it by myself at the end anyway.
Fuck everything.

Who the hell hardcodes their localhost ports in a web.config without updating the release config to the correct production URLs? And why doesn't our ops team pick up on this shit before clicking their fancy deploy button? And why in holy heaven do we even have a pre-production server if it isn't an exact mirror of production?

God help me, I need a drink.

Jesus christ I need my VP and CIO to get their hands out of Azure and GCP and just let me work.

Yes, governance and security and IAM are big deals. That's why you have infraops people like me to deal with that.

I'm literally working with one hand tied behind my back because just about every button press or CLI command I need to do my damn job as a professional cloud fluffer requires me to go bother an executive and ask permission to pretty please can I deploy a new container, can you go press the shiny button? No not that one, move your mouse up...up..now UP..ok over lef-no..can I have mouse control? Sigh fine, do you see where it says "Approvers", no that says "Release Pipeline"

Look I actually kinda like this job, I do, in as much as when I have something to do I get left the fuck alone to do it. Meetings are minimal, aside from the odd days when one of our app services decides to yeet itself into the river Styx, there's little distractions.

Yeah, developers do dumb shit but that's probably best left to the notion of job security and never talked about again less they go to HR and complain that the ops guy was very stern and direct and made the developer take some accountability for their work product.

AND YET

It's so intergalactically stupid that I have to go ask permission just to do ops tasks by the same people barging down my goddamn door asking why the ops task isn't done yet.

"Because you won't give me permissions in GCP to actually DO anything".

Okay. Rant over. Time for lunch. Good meeting, see you all at the holiday party.