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Search - "shit dev"
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Dev: Microsoft is shit
VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)
Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys
VS Code: (。◕‿◕。)45 -
*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*
Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"
*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*
GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"
*checking it*
Me: "So what's your ring size again"7 -
Me, a junior dev: * reports an important issue and a possible fix *
Senior dev 1: nah, it'll do just fine.
Senior dev 2: that won't be an issue, don't you see? It's under control, man.
Senior 3: why are you even here? Why are you even talking?
Manager: yeah, what could possibly go wrong?
* a year after releasing the product, one of the seniors got fired and another one was hired *
New senior: this thing is bananas, code is inconsistent and there's memory leaks everywhere, how does that even work?
Me: nobody believed me when I said that.
Manager: it did work very well, where's the issue?
Me: it's everywhere, goddammit! Don't you see?
New senior: junior dev is right.
Me: I've been a WHOLE YEAR saying that!
Manager: did you? Really? Nah, you didn't.
...
I'm tired of this shit.15 -
Dev: why should I develop windows phone apps. Almost nobody uses this kind of shit.
Customer: Why should I use a fucking windows phone. The windows app store is as empty as a ghost town.31 -
I use a lot of dev tools, but one of my favorites is the Linux screen utility. It's awesome to be able to keep shit running on servers whether my laptop stays connected tot he server or not. It's great for jobs that take a long time, can't get interrupted, etc.
If you haven't used screen definitely give it a try!14 -
> be me
> want to write troll "viruses" to fck arround with frieds
> write batch files
> shit everyone can see what I do
> google 'how to make exe'
> install VS
> google 'make exe with vb.net'
> spend 3hr/s copying the Internet
> send friend exe
> blocked by antivirus
> write other bullshit
> actually learn stuff
> shit I'm kinda good at this
> keep going
> 4 years later
> be system administrator / devop / web dev / app dev / desktop dev
> get paid
> inb4 wants to troll friend - finds dream job instead7 -
Normal app: "DEV I NEED THIS, 1 STAR. WITHOUT THIS IS SHIT"
devrant app: "Guys, I've created a client for desktop computer for devrant, tell me if I can upgrade anymore"
Such beautiful community ♥4 -
Me: Hey Google, open devrant
Google: Results for dev brand
Me: open devrant
Google: Results for dev hand
Me: No! open "dev" "rant"
Google: Results of some dude named Dev Randhawa
Me: Dammit open devrant
Google: Dewa rent? Electricity bill paying sites of some town called dewa.
Me: Open d.e.v.r.a.n.t
Google: Opens Google play song from Kevin Durant.
Me: gives up and listens to Kevin Durant sing some shit about LeBron James.10 -
How my birthday is going so far:
1. Dropped coffee on my shirt
2. Client is wondering why we removed a feature that he wants yet asked us to remove a week ago
3. Dev server is no longer working
4. Internet connection is shit
5. My VPN keeps on disconnecting (see #4)
Is this day going to end or what?53 -
Life story of every Dev in nutshell :
Everything is working perfectly as expected and no body congratulates Dev and no one gives a shit.
Single thing is broken and the whole universe be like : "Where the fuck is that son of a b*tch? Bring that bastard in front of me right now."
😡😡😡😡6 -
Just got this little stinker added to my board this morning….
Ticket Title: Weird shit going on in app
Ticket Description: (blank)
Attachment: <Screenshot of app logo>
Manager: Well what do you think is causing it?
Dev: Causing what?? This ticket doesn’t describe anything at all
Manager: Well it’s a bunch of different things! The ticket is just a high level summary. Now how long do you think it’ll take to fix?
Dev: …16 -
Real conversation:
dev 1: so what are you working on these days?
dev 2: some wordpress project.
dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?
dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?
dev1: no.
dev2: okay.26 -
Client: "We are extremely satisfied with your great work for almost three years now and we are super thrilled to work with you in the future and benefit from your amazing work."
Dev: *makes one tiny little mistake*
Client: "Oh burn in hell you cock sucking piece of shit!"4 -
Advising a person about a code that he has created and you don't know shit about. In dev culture it is considered a dick move.😑6
-
You know your idea was shit when you ask a freelance dev to make it for you, get denied and then see your idea being ranted about on devrant...7
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This annoying fuck is the single most hated guy on youtube PERIOD.
Every time I try to watch a tutorial or some gameplay demo this fucking cunt comes up with his piece of shit game dev course.28 -
If I had a dev superpower it would be the ability to generate 3D printed objects at will so I could have more cool shit on my desktop.11
-
Reviewing coworker's code:
Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.
Next day.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*
Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️21 -
Dev: Breaks unit tests
Same dev: Merges it to master anyway
Same fucking dev: Can't merge to master coz CI is screaming at you? Merge locally and FORCE push.
Me: Hi, I'm blocked. I can't merge to master coz of this failing test, can we get on a quick call and figure this out?
Same fucking fuckface dev: *after 3 fucking days* Yeah, I don't know why it's failing.. the results seem to be inconsistent..
Jesus Christ. I am so close to leaving this side-project because of the frequent shit I have to go through with this fucking idiot.
God I wish I didn't need the money.14 -
1st post. Not sure if rant.
> Join 1st job after college.
> Desk assigned is close to a senior dev
> Random day, QA asks senior dev questions on something and coincidentally I happened to be working on the same thing.
> Senior dev borrows my system and explains qa something.
> By the end of explanation senior dev had bunch of shell commands written on notepasd on my machine.
> I don't understand jack shit of whats happening.
> QA looks at me and says, "Ping me once."
> I think, "no idea what just happened but must be something related to network ."
> I open terminal and type "ping" and quitely wait for further instructions (address to ping that is).
> Everyone starts laughing their asses off.
> QA guy opens slack, and sends himself the commands on text document.
> I realize what just happened
> Laugh awkwardly with everyone to ease the pressure
> FML7 -
How to be a Dev:
Step 1: have a great idea
Step 2: start work on great idea
Step 3: read a blog about someone who also has a great idea and finishes it quicker than you prototype it
Step 4: check back daily and see them gloat about how much money, fame and shit they got from said idea
Step 4: rant about it on Dev rant to vent anger9 -
!dev !rant
Just scared the shit out of my little brother with a bluetooth keyboard. Now he'll never ask for my phone again.12 -
I have always thought that I am to dumb to become a dev, but after a few years doing sysadmin shit I have realized that even the most stupid, dumb and idiotic people can be a wordpress developer!
There is still hope for me9 -
I fucking hate politics. Can we just stick to dev shit on here? Please? That's the only reason I'm here.6
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Been a jr. dev at a company that's badly in need of more devs. So they hire a sr. dev to work w/ me. Dude's got yrs of xp over me, so he should be ramped up in no time, right?
Jk, he doesn't even know the basics of git. Also, his code is shit. If he's not let go anytime soon, at least I'll look awesome relative to this guy come performance reviews ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.3 -
My boss codes, I'm lead Dev:
Boss: "just finished an MVP of the X project. It's 3 files and 1800 lines of code, plus triggers... "
Me: "Shieeet..."
Boss: "yup, your shit, you'll be refactoring it"
Me: *sigh*2 -
>be me
>I hate front-end dev, but I can do it. I hate switching between markup, styling, and logic.
>I like back-end and low level programming
>stay unemployed for a year and a half, because all offers are for React and Angular
>find backend job, yay
>they actually make me work on front-end shit
>mfw pic related7 -
How to be the Dev with no friends
Say:
"DevRant is shit"
"SO is shit!! "
" Quora is shit"
"I dont need Friends"
Voila: ur life is ruined now14 -
Guys, I think it's time to fight back!
Whenever a client ask you about IE9 support, tell him to find someone else, because noone the fuck uses IE9 and if someone somehow does, then it's his fault!
Then he will search for other dev, but if we all do so, we can forget about supporting stupid old shit again!2 -
My first Dev job involved password resets. Quickly created a GUI for that shit and passed it off to IT support.
-
Dev: This could be sooooo easily optimized...
Me: Uhm. Don't think so. What's your idea?
Dev: Just use threads.
Me: Nope. Problem requires 3 shared resources per process step, it won't be faster by threading. Shared resource will only lead to locking contention, decreasing performance.
Dev: I don't think that will happen. Can you PROOF to ME that this will happen?
Me: It was your suggestion, so you should proof me wrong. Nice try, but no thanks.
Dev: Yeah, but it's too slow and it should run faster.
Me: If you cannot find a better approach than the current one, it runs as fast as it can while providing correct results. That's not slow. That's just working as intended and designed.
Dev: Yeah, but it's still slow.
....
You know these conversations where you just wanna rip some people's face off, stick it in the shit hole they use to talk and toss them out of the window....
Yeah. Had those conversations today.10 -
For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.14 -
If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?5 -
Overheard 2 colleagues having an interesting telephonic meeting late night at my room.
Dev 1: Wait. I am trying to fix it.
Dev 2: Ok. Take your time
Dev 1: Shit. I found it. I knew I was doing something wrong here.
Dev 2: Oh. Nice. What was the bug?
Dev 1: It was a super silly mistake. Don't want to tell. Folks will laugh at me.
Dev 2: Don't worry. It happens with everyone. Come tomorrow at office, and whisper it in my ears. Noone will know.8 -
Promotions? What are those.
Every title I have gained has been out of necessity of needing someone to work on stack "X".
It usually goes something like:
Dev: I quit
Management: oh shit, we need another dev 🤔oh @C0D4 can do it until we find a replacement.
@C0D4: fuck, I don't know anything about this stack.
Management: we didn't find a replacement, this thing is yours now, here's a pay bump for your efforts.
@C0D4: I swear they'll regret all these projects being managed by a single dev 1 day.7 -
I can't believe how quickly this community has grown! Absolutely amazing to see so many like-minded people I can relate to 😊. Before devRant I had (I shit you not) 1 fellow dev that I could talk to.. Now I have a ton 😄5
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Dev from MIT argued about every. Single. Thing. I said. I'm not talking language or cultural or political barrier, I'm talking about just a naturally confrontational person. Maybe it was just his nerves (people do weird shit when they are nervous), but damn if i didnt want to throw him out after "agreeing to disagree" for the 4th time in 10 minutes.7
-
Just saw this, people competing who's gonna put coolest shit inside 140 characters
https://www.dwitter.net/top
Some serious (js)dev porn inside7 -
Junior dev:Hey,see my code works :)
*After analysis of code*
Senior dev:Let's talk about complexity bro
Junior dev: shit :( -
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
Last week one of my non-dev coworkers asked if any of us knew java and I was like "yeah, think I can help you" then she showed me her JavaScript issue and I was like:
"Wtf, people really do this shit..." -
Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.2
-
Fellow dev complaining about server.
Me: My servers could handle the 10x traffic. If they weren't busy apologising for your shit codebase !
*First Rant btw*6 -
Now with the newborn I really feel compleet :/
Bullshit in the morning from QA.. Horseshit in the afternoon from PM and all kinds of crap from the boss..
And finally some babypoo in the middle of the night4 -
My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.
Shit falls on me since he ain't here.
Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....
know why?
Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.
Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification... -
!dev
Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.
For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.
while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}27 -
Hmmm there are several
Senior dev would leave for weeks(he was company co owner) and would blame shit not being done on me even though he gave me no access to his codebase. Shit back fired right in his face.
Senior dev called me an idiot(different company) for stating that I learned about MVC from Rails. I have no clue what triggered that reaction, but the way he said it really ticked me off. It was on a remote position, left soon, the dude was s cunt.
Next goes for my office: we yell random shit all the time, from racist to sexist to all around disturbing because we are constantly unsupervised.
Head of department knows:P he laughs with us. -
Oh I have a good one.
A dev once was added to the team -he deleted all of the whitespace from the backend code (minified) and called that optimising. We had a lot of back and forth and me reverting the things back to non minified and him back to minified on live environement. I shit you not i had to endure that shit and he kept on insisting that I'm the shitty developer because I don't know how to optimise. I'm starting to rage even thinking about it....13 -
Some of y'all talk way too much shit about web development tools/libs without being web devs yourselves......
I don't know enough about OS development to talk shit, you see me doing it? no
fk me I am getting so fucking fed up with this community, it used to be cool rants about the shit that we go through, now is just pop wannabe dev ranting meme bullshit39 -
"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.
"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"
For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.7 -
The senior dev is mentoring our new recruit.
😨 I know, my face too.
When the newbie asked how to deploy, senior dev says, "Well, we copy and paste this folder from your local box to the server you need to deploy it on. Much better than that git shit, you have so much more control!"
😭4 -
When your peer dev is ++'ing your shit on devRant instead of git pushing the project so you can work on it too 😒 @filipe0957
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I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk15
-
Last week I was erasing a 2Gb USB thumb while copying some really important shit to my backup disk. I look at the terminal and see it's taking a lot of time to did zeroes on dev/sdb.
Then I realized that dev/sdb is the backups drive and I just erased the firsts sectors of my only fucking backup.
It's ok, I said, let's see what can TestDisk do for me. And it only could find an empty sad partition that had useless shit on it. Whdd couldn't even find the drive. Cat and dd vomited 160Gb of nothing to a file that couldn't be read. I was lost, because I failed doing something I'm really good at. And I did it because I was to stupid to check fstab...
It's the very first time I couldn't recover data, so I'm thinking about delete "Data recovery" from my resume skills and put "Data cleaning. Really effective. I can send you 160Gb of pure horse shit to prove it" instead.2 -
Worst dev advice?
Mgr: "Stop trying to use that agile shit for your projects. Waterfall is the only way proper application development is done."3 -
Manager: Can you stay late as fuck today? One of our bitchiest vendors is gonna update their piece of crap and I'm pretty damn sure shit is gonna hit the fan
Dev (inner voice): no fucking way, I have kids to watch and chores to do!
Dev (outer voice): can't we just check everything in the morning?
Manager: No fucking way! If there is some fucking "challenge" when our "people" try to log onto their shit, I'm gonna look like a chump!
Let's talk silvers, I will sign on that bloody commie bullshit for your hours tonight.
Dev (outer voice): Fine. Until how late?
Dev (inner voice): Wait, I was supposed to do it without getting overtime bonus?5 -
😲😲😲
Holy shit, wow I did not see that coming at all. I've this is all I've ever dreamed of as web dev but now I'm not too sure how I feel. Edge gone, safari dying and Firefox struggling...
I wanted one web standard, not one browser engine.10 -
!dev && !rant
My sister is getting married tomorrow. My cousin will get married in 3 weeks.. a good friend of mine just became a mom.
They’re all about my age.
This made me realize i only have about 2 friends which I see once every few months, don’t meet any new people, don’t take care of my physical health and haven’t been in a relationship for about 7 years by now.
I started working as a dev 8 years ago and really sacrificed my life to the 2 companies I worked for.
I own nice cars and make good money (relatively spoken) , but for me I know I really have to get my shit together and start to actually get a personal / social life.
So I decided to quit my job and move to another country where I feel like I fit in (posted about the idea to do this a while ago and devs here were super supportive, thanks for that guys)
From now on, I’ll make sure to have a good work-life balance and take more care of myself.
Otherwise, success and money ain’t worth shit..
A good weekend to all of you and happy coding.4 -
> Be chad lodash dev
> new security vulnerability discovered in April
> low
> virgin devs ask to fix https://github.com/lodash/lodash/...
> giving no shit, because lodash stronk https://github.com/lodash/lodash/...
> fast forward now
> NPM lists lodash as vulnerability, because no fix
> 1000s of downstream projects affected
> https://github.com/lodash/lodash/...
> surprised pikachu face10 -
We have RGB shit in computers...
We have dev ducks...
We need programmable RGB dev ducks that can change their color with a scripting interface.
If you choose to make your duck's color correspond to the compiler warning and errors displayed this can be done. Also, maybe have it plays sounds too.8 -
!dev
Look im all for conservation and helping the environment and shit, but why can't people do it without being self righteous cunts? Like seriously.
I just saw an ad on Instagram of someone getting a drink and they're all "I don't need a straw hue hue hue" and then proceed to drink from a metal straw shit.
THE WHOLE FUCKING CUP IS PLASTIC.
Stop being a self righteous cunt if you're gonna do contradictory shit like that. Like seriously. You using a metal straw ain't changing shit whenever you've got a whole ass cup that's plastic and that you're gonna throw into a trash can.9 -
I made a huge mistake. Took a job at a startup that seemed promising but so far it's just been a nonstop shit show of watching/dealing with petulant children learn how to run a company. I fantasize about quitting, taking the whole dev team with me, and watching their dreams go up in smoke.2
-
Which type of dev are you?
1. I exercise/ workout regularly :)
2. I want to. But I ain't got no time for that :|
3. I don't believe in that shit :(
PS: I see some sw engineers in my gym.54 -
Giving up/panicking/talking myself down when shit gets difficult ;/.
I always want stuff to work immediately, and I hate it when I don't understand something.
But since this is such a big part of working in dev, I should learn to keep going!2 -
Wow VSCode has gotten a lot better for Web Dev. JSDocs actually works and can be used to find functions from other modules (aka real Intellisense).
This could change my feelings about JS... now just need to get everyone else on my team to document their shit... uhm... I mean code.1 -
Reviewed some Unity game code yesterday
[HideInInspector] public NavMeshAgent agent;
Me:”why is this hidden if it’s public”
Dev: “so designers don’t fuck it up”
Me: “then why have it public”
Dev: “I need it to be set by another class”
Me: “then make it a private bar and create a get:set function”
Dev: “Why?”
Me: “Because hiding a public variables from designers is a bad model and by standards things now to be shown to the inspector should be private”
This shit is why I have no confidence in devs my age10 -
HOLY FUCK (!dev) SOMEONE KILL THE MANAGEMENT OF DEUTSCHE BAHN ALREADY
Seriously where can I complain? delays on every single train i was on since weeks. and always because of some stupid shit like "we need to let another train pass by". wtf you didnt know that earlier?15 -
Really hate being the only programmer around my town and it's other nearby towns...
Really wish I could just meet up with a dev friend for a pint or 12 and just talk programming shit to each other but nope .-.
(Calling all aussie devs in the latrobe valley)6 -
!Dev
So today I got a gig for plumbing. So I did it anyway. Here are the picture of what I did. Now they can flush their shit down to the sewer. (Where most of my former bosses are)6 -
Sometimes hardest part of being dev is staying calm and trying to explain someone why something is a BAD idea, than see being ignored and just silently prepare fix so when shit goes south you can quick fix shit the other dude/dudette fucked up regardless of number of warnings.
Sigh, another dumpsterfire of this variety incoming.5 -
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Okay, I'm feeling a bit better now.
How to stop being a lil bitch? Why does it seem like everyone got the "don't give a shit" patch except me? I'm working hard on getting my shit together, I've made MASSIVE progress, but everytime I'm feeling good and confident and ready to take the world head-on, I just kinda crumble again with the slightest mishap. This needs to stop. I'm really trying SO hard not to snap. Fucking hell, being aware of all this makes it even worse! It's like I'm two people, one is a downer and REALLY good in draining my brain power, the other is the guy who's typing this and knows that life shouldn't be taken this seriously, but doesn't stay in the cockpit for too long. I'm extremely tired and mad. I just fucking hate this.9 -
Dev team: This part of the app has a shitty ux. We want to fix it after we finish this feature.
Business: hey guys we think we lack data so we got some users to check our page with shitty ux and see if they think it is shit
User: yeah it’s shit
Great use of resources you chucklefucks6 -
Don't you feel sometimes like you may not be as good dev as you think you are? Like all you do is search for chunks of code in stackoverflow so you can assamble a semi functional project.
I'm having one of those days, and it just feels like shit.6 -
In my web dev languages class today I went to try the feature to test the site through VS. Literally every browser BUT Edge would load... Even a Microsoft product knows that Edge is shit.
-
We developed an application and deployed on production (but not launched)
And business team already created lot of garbage or dummy data. Reporting systems are huge pile of bars, stats and shit.
Now, has to destroy and clean production.
Already advise them to do experiments or testing dev or staging.
Damn. First time in my career experienced this. Has to delete production.4 -
A computer? We can't afford that shit.
Later...
Here son. Mom took this from her Job, they were going to trash it anyways. Go nuts.
Sister oh here are all my dev books. I am doing something else now.3 -
Joins Skype group dev talk
20mins in mutes microphone
Co worker mentions something I am working on
Me: starts talking for a minute
Coworker: randomly interrupts me, like legit no warning, he just started talking....
Me: wait what da faq
OH wait I'm not mute....
Shit -
Had coffee in the late evening.
And can’t fall asleep till now.
Browsed fb for abit.
Saw someone shared some scary shit.
Shook to the core.
Opened dev rant.
Heart felt almost instantly at ease.
Thank u Devrant 😭2 -
Sometimes you need someone to be your /dev/null with whom you can talk about all that fucked up shit going on in your mind.
Thank you /dev/null -
You know what kind of devs I hate?
- The "Oh I never worked with it so its shit"
- The "I dont wanna learn something new"
- The "You can use JavaScript for this and everything else"
- The Pro ++ Ultra Dev who never heard of modulization and layering
- The hard coded values guy12 -
How the actual fuck are we expected to know this many languages / frameworks / libraries for a web dev interview? This shit is RIDICULOUS. No one can honestly say they're half proficient at any of this stuff if they have to know ALL of it. Is this the only way to get a job these days? This sucks balls!7
-
Anyone else having the same experience with dev rant?
The algo or whatever is now only showing me things I've already seen. Couple new posts then just a shit tonne of repeated content, most I've already ++'d.
The last week in here has been boring as af because it's all stale content...7 -
Story time!
I moved from React Dev to fullstack like halve a year ago. Three months ago I became project lead and now I will start to become a team lead.
Holy shit I'm growing fast2 -
Top reason to not be a dev?
Because you could't get through 9th grade Algebra you dumb piece of shit.5 -
...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.
He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.
You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!
How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥5 -
API Request validation is stupid.
Until you remember
* Your target audience is highschool students
* Your front end dev loves to fuck your stuff up
* His mom works in QA and she equally likes to fuck shit up
* It's just a good idea
* People just fucking suck8 -
😵 help - I totally fucked up.
I managed to delete my /dev/sda1 partition with gparted while trying to format an USB-Stick...
Now my laptop not even trys to boot. It only opens BIOS without any boot options. I absolutely have no idea how to fix that shit. 😣😰51 -
!dev
What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!6 -
Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...
Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.4 -
I'm just starting on the dev world. I only taken Java and C++.(Both professors knew their coding however, sucked balls at teaching it). now i am here looking at this post scared as shit for my future.. damn what did i get myself into?9
-
!dev but since dev can still give you headaches:
Ibuprofen is damn close to magical. I fully understand the chemical mechanism by which it works, and it still don’t make sense how that shit can make you a new person in 45 minutes.2 -
dev goals? get shit done!
I have this common illness among devs:
I start projects and never really finish them.
Hate that. Feels so empty.
So this year I finally want to get shit done.4 -
Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.2
-
Dear previous dev on this project,
I know that everyone loved you and still admires you for being so nice and having such a great knowledge. Please teach me your ways of achieving this level of popularity while writing big bowls of fucking flying spaghetti monster code with a bunch of hidden bugs and thousands of lines of unit tests that clearly never been used since it is literally impossible to run them thanks to missing mocks and overall bad design.
Teach me so I can become this person who shits big reeking piles in the office in front of everyone and even after leaving people still praise them for being exceptionally clean and sophisticated.3 -
!dev
Been away from here for over a year.
Tried meditation, tried working out, tried eating more #00FF00s.
I'm a super calm person and rarely rant over shit in real life but I learned that really little things can replace ranting over random shit on the internet and having people come here to read just exactly that and relate.
I think I'm back :) <34 -
When you are reading job requirements for a dev job and they put a shit ton emphasis on MS Office. I remember a phone interview where they asked skill level for Word, Excel and Outlook.7
-
Oh my fucking God, the non dev we have on our team has no indentation or syntax filter whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised if she has an unmatched or unclosed bracket somewhere. I'm gonna have to go in there and clean that shit up.6
-
It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.
-
I am a pretty well of dev with a nice job and a nice salary. Yet I still suffer from imposter syndrome. It's nice to get on here and read rants about shit I've also has issues with or just feel better about myself because I wasn't the one the person that rant was about. Cheers to you devrant1
-
Fuck my boss.
He's making me do non-dev work that I'm absolutely not qualified to do and he's even writing to me on Slack to make me do some of it outside my working days.
I'm getting so fucking anxious whenever I'm trying to work with this shit because I have no fucking clue what exactly am I supposed to do.
FUCK14 -
(I guess the Question category is the best for this)
Do you believe that someone can be a good dev even if they write shit code?
I personally do, if that person acknowledges the fact that their code is shit, wants to improve it, is humble, is always in the search for constructive, etc as in to make their code better and more readable, I'd think they are a pretty good dev.2 -
Ok, let's actually try and work on my games Dev kit workspace functionality and not get side tracked with devRant... Oh fuck I'm on it right now... Well shit!
I think I browse through devRant at an unhealthy amount lol -
My dev days consist on coding shit that I am really not interested in(web design)
What gets me through them is getting to my home office when I can continue to fuck around with Machine Learning, my guitar or the shit that does interest me....
.......also...listening to Nothing But Thieves is about the one thing that keeps me from losing my shit at work...5 -
serious question - is a fucking project ever finished and put away or is it common in the dev world to redo the same fucking pointless shit over and over again?4
-
So my coworker is gonna change computer and for the past two weeks is "annoying" me to install Ubuntu for her...
Look ... I'm a dev just like you... Get your shit together and do it yourself or wait.
So Wednesday I gave her the task to backup her shit because I'm gonna do it today... Guess what she told me? That I'm better at it and if I could do do for her...
Sure.. Yeah... Gonna rsync your /home/user folder to the new machine and fuck you if you loose anything, that's not my fucking job you useless piece of shit.2 -
!dev
It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..
I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..
Think I became too old for this shit.
HELP!!!7 -
I kinda hate to admit it but they were right. Data structures and algorithms are kinda the shit and you should try to learn and appreciate them. Not just so you’ll use them. But in that learning them helps you become a better problem solver.
There’s a self taught dev that my company works with for really bespoke applications. A senior dev that works with him and helps manage the development process told me that the dev in question doesn’t really know how to implement the finer details. Very telling indeed.3 -
Since I submitted my resignation my motivation has increased significantly, because I know that any of this shit I will produce until then won't be bugging me later :D
I just feel sorry for my close dev colleges.... :/ -
Holy fuckin shit. Fuck java updates.
Today we deployed to production with a java app. For whatever reason it didn't work, just throwing SSL errors left and right.
Same app works on dev and qa
There's only one tiiiiny difference: Java 8 141 on dev/qa, Java 8 171 on prod
Guess what happened in 171 ... they updated the CA
rip 4h debuggin5 -
If I ever get the chance to start my own company or pick out the dev team I work with... I will never, ever, ever work with anyone who doesn't understand how to abstract out a problem. Our prod DB is a mess and our API is a mess because we left it to some dudes who are dumb as shit and doing everything ad-hoc. Now their ad-hoc shit doesn't work anymore and I get to clean it up. 😫😞FML
-
#include<rant.h>
#define useless unnecessary
int main()
{
Fuck off Zuckerman and any dev who codes such shit for useless permissions and especially FUCK YOU CLIENT for asking your dev to ask for all useless permissions for your fucking app just because you think it's cool ;
return 0;
}12 -
When a dev leaves a project in the middle, and someone else has to continue their shit, that's the worst fucking thing ever!
3000+ lines of codes in just one class? Fuck!
I don't even know where to put my code, where to put debugger break points, where to... fuck fuck fuck!!! >_<4 -
86 lines of code...duplicated 3 times in the same file...and only a single integer constant is different. This is the shit that makes my day to day work tedious.
Im glad I dont personally know the previous dev, he would get his throat punched...though calling him a dev is more of a compliment than he deserves.2 -
you know you are in some deep shit when project manager asks for username and password on dev environment
... and as bonus: IE is his default browser -
"We don't need to design this page, we'll just wing it in dev. It's not an important page."
result: 47 jiras about choice of fonts, alignment, padding, missing images that were never provided, how it looks shit on mobile and can we make it black instead?1 -
"yes yes you're a dev, now go install this UniFi AP. I need it ready in the next twenty minutes."
I hope you fart in an elevator, shit yourself, and the elevator gets stuck.5 -
Dev lesson learned the hard way. Never rm -rf with wildcard arguments... If you think you're being clever it probably means you're about to mess up some shit.3
-
Been on a Android dev meetup yesterday.
Guy in front of me started solving exercises of Graph Theory on his laptop.
I took a peek to see what this shit is all about(I have never studied for a CS degree).
Holy moley this is some scary shit. How the fuck you people study this.2 -
My Software Developing Skills finally paid off... I've spent whole night repairing a shitty Zanussi Washing machine. My life meaning was fulfilled
..3 -
TL;DR : I have carelessly deleted my pocket account. arrrrr fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I usually censored my fuck with * but this level of fucked up shit need no censor anymore.... shit fuck fuck fuck
I am using separate profile for my regular ff and ff dev edition. I didn't know both of the browsers are already linked to single pocket account. I thought the pocket account on my dev edition profile was a new one auto created by ff and decided to delete the account. Turn out it was the same freaking account. I even saw the name linnth but I still clicked Delete My Account.
All 5 or so years saved bookmarks are gone. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr1 -
Sick and tired of this country. Is it a fucking crime to try to be a good dev in here? I mean, nobody gives a shit about quality and the learning process, it's all about the money, 'making it work', and salaries. Don't the guys have any honor?7
-
Forcing the dev to be the only one doing QA should be considered animal cruelty. That's like making the plumber take a shit after every new toilet installation. That was a terrible analogy.3
-
This rant is about people's random shit in devrant, as a matter of fact, please let me remind you of the meaning of DEV-RANT:
- Dev : technical people only
- Rant : You should scream your guts out here
Memes, Adverts, slice of life, all these weirdo contents are not made for this platform, you have instagram for that ....
So please people. stop telling us that you have ADHD or that you sell some shit because we are supposed to be DEVS RANTING, and sharing our missfortune.
Dev rant is a place where we can vent out, and be comforted by your peers ...
Fuck you spammers !51 -
company lands huge enterprise project
promises client to deliver it in MIN_TIME_REQUIRED/4
No architect, no technical lead, no seniors, no designer just juniors and interns in the project.
all the project time wasted by manager making shit decisions and not giving a fuck what devs have to say about how project will be disaster if goes like this.
Now the project is officially under raging fire
Boss to dev : What happend to the project. Why are things not working?
Dev: You made decisions not us.
Boss: I don't buy it. Work 24hrs until this is done.
Dev: F*** you and this project. I am resigning. -
Dev: Woah look at this code! I might be a genius!
Also dev a few months later: Woah WTH is this shit? Was I totally dumb or what?2 -
Pressing ctrl+s in sql dev when checking packages.. you accidentally press space or sth and later ctrl s it compiles.. then shit gets real when you accidentaly lock up everything on prod db..2
-
After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.
That is what dev is all about 😃1 -
I just want to take a moment to appreciate how lovely and non-aggressive the subscription process for a Mozilla dev newsletter is.
They show a list of topics like
- Mozilla tech
- add on mails
etc
Only the dev newsletter is preselected by default and the rest are unsubscribed by default.
So if I just submit, I'll just get dev mails and I can subscribe to the rest only if I want to.
This is so much better than chrome or other Google bullshit where if I subscribe to a dev newsletter I'm automatically subscribed to every single piece of shit mail available.
You go Mozilla. Thanks for not being a piece of shit. -
!dev
Reeeeddit is a strange place. You can be on an advice sub, answer the question and the OP agrees with your answer and people are still gonna downvote it.
What the actual basement dwelling neckbeard virgin fuck is this shit lol9 -
Dear managers:
Don't rush developers when they're reviewing code - telling them to cut corners.
You're not a dev (anymore). This shit is important if you want a system that doesn't blow up / takes months to make a simple change.
It's my name going against this approval and I (and the team) have to live with the code every day11 -
After working for 3 years as a dev , last month I bought my first Noise Cancelling Headphones (Sony xm3). Best decision in my life .
It blocks all the chatter/noise from open office and lets you focus. Now I can get shit done in the office itself with all the mfking monkeys (my esteemed colleagues) chirping around .
Best decision of my life 😅3 -
!dev
I hate the fucking weekends.
Stuck in a family gathering where no one gives a minuscule shit about me or my comments.
No one available on discord to chat while in the midst of this depressing environment.
fuck meeeee... -
We have pretty fast and lean dev process between QA/Design/Devs.
But sometimes, it's going to shit ;p
QA :
An option "ROLE" is missing for grouping in that table.
So 5 min to create ticket, assign someone from design on it
Design : Yeah, this is true. We missed that option in our design.
Proceds to modift figma by adding an option "Role" to a drop down.
Reasigned to Junior dev.
Junior dev : I have no clue how grouping works with graphql.
So at least 30 min.
Reasigned to me.
Me after 1 min of looking at it : PR chhanges on screen shot :
Facepalm... Everyhtibng was already in place, someone forgot to add id AND name, not just name.
Git blame => Or never mind... it was me.. -
How dare my manager do his job and nag me about something that I did honestly completely forget about. Rude!
-
Today a co-worker (I am going to call him 'boss') ask to another co-worker (I am goin to call it 'useless piece of shit' or 'ups') to explain to me a new task, becaus boss was to bussy with a new release for a client.
Idk how but ups managed to explain all wrong, like terribly wrong.
Ups: "Dev, all you have to do is fix some queries from local files"
Dev: "Ok, seems legit"
Try the local files, nothing happend
Dev: "weird... ups why this is happening?"
Ups: "I know the same as you, ask boss."
Dev: "boss this."
Boss: "what the actual what? ... this is all wrong. The config file is in mongo, in this IP, we don't use local files anymore. I tell ups to explain this to you so I can atay focused on this other task, but now I lost the double amount of time"
Dev: "oh... sorry, I will fix the remote queries"
I hate ups, every fucking time soneone need something from him this happend or worst...1 -
Unlocks the phone one day:
"Google Play has stopped working"
I havent used this shit since i installed dev rant (3 months)
10/10 development, google you are the best2 -
When you are a junior dev and you ask howto do some shit to a senior dev. He answers vaguely and you have to keep asking during the wholr process instead of getting a full answer from the beginning5
-
Chrome 63 forces .dev domains to HTTPS via preloaded HSTS.
Well, FUCK YOU google. Why do you even give a shit of my local proxy.13 -
When the only other person on your dev team is an arrogant, miserable piece of shit that you despise but have to pretend to get along with so you can get a paycheck3
-
Money.
I wish I had a more philosophical answer like building cool shit, but this is real life, so I've made it as a dev when I make at least ₹20 lakh per year.9 -
!dev
Matrix 4 trailer was such a shit show.
I don’t know why, but I honestly believed that it would not be as bad as it turned out to be. I’m such a stupid prick for believing in it.
FUCK YOU LANA WACHOWSKI. I HATE YOU AND EVERYONE RELATED TO THE PRODUCTION OF THIS CANCEROUS PIECE OF SHIT.12 -
Be me
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Part fixed
No reee
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
Reeee
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Help me
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Reeee intensifies.
Going to shit diamonds
Reeeeeee
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee3 -
Wasted a day as Shitlock Holmes with the build chain.
It would not reproduce the firmware hexfile that had been checked in. Reverse engineering that along with the mapfile to find out the cause, it was a const string that was guarded by an ifdef from another file that was auto-generated as prebuild step via a script that fetched some version control info.
Or, it would have been if the installation instructions had been correct and someone had described that no spaces in the absolute path name of the project are allowed. Otherwise, that shit just failed silently.
I then had to reverse engineer the intended workflow from the commit history in the version control to figure out that the last dev obviously hadn't quite understood the project specific workflow and how the version control interacts with these build scripts.
At least, I finally did get a matching hexfile.1 -
I started xampp, atom, chrome at once and my windows launched xampp in 10 seconds, chrome in 23 seconds and guess what atom was up in just 2 minutes....
Still trying to figure out whether to throw my pc or the windows.4 -
Worst: Spending a week in npm, node, react hell trying to triage a ReactNative iOS/Android app that even the OG dev couldn't fix and FAILING.
This is the only code in like 20 fuckin years that beat me.
Best: Watching the fall of western democracy with a giant shit eating "I told you so" grin.6 -
!dev
Jesus Christ, if the cucks at this company don't start cleaning the coffee machine them-fucking-selves, I'm going to flip my shit.
There's been a chalk warning for about a month now and nobody is doing shit about it.
They leave the excess coffee powder in until either I clean it out or it literally starts to mold.
And it's not like they don't use it, everybody here drinks at least two cups a day, do you not care if it tastes at least a little all right!?
Nobody is ever going to get even a half decent cup out of this janky piece of shit.8 -
Fighting dev environment stuff makes me sometimes wish I could be evil and have some sort of framework that when an API call fails it just makes a second call to the PokeAPI and returns some random results ... because if shit is gonna be absurd it may as well be fun absurd.
-
To a fellow dev on my team; If you notice a difference between the spec and the database structure, just fucking talk to the BA! Don’t code something that fails and put it into QA.
And constantly saying “It’s not my job” is a severely career limiting move you dogmatic little shit.2 -
When some random customer of one if our (bank) clients tweeted about receiving money to their mobile money account in less than a minute (while it was like an hour before we built an API for that shit). Knowing I was the dev that made that happen made my heart melt1
-
You know what's bullshit? CS Degrees as a requirement, even for the shittiest dev jobs.
Sorry fuckers, I don't feel like killing myself over fucking math bullcrap for 3 goddamn years just to work as an intern slave for some rich CEO who prefers to hire some guy who doesn't know shit about actual working with computers but has a degree.
And this horseshit happens only in dev jobs. Why. Are devs some fucking nuclear scientists or something? I work as sysadmin and they didn't ask me for any shit degree and I earn more than the average code monkey where I live.
Goddamn HR fuckers. May Allah take you to hell.4 -
!dev?
It's getting cold now over here and all I want to do is sleep... I have no motivation to do anything useful (dev, useful reading) either, just binge watch TV...
So wondering how do you actually get shit done (stuff you should do but don't have to do)? Maybe it's the food related as well?7 -
Being a junior dev sometimes sucks. People always gotta second guess your work and make you feel like shit. And never apologize when they realize they were wrong. 🤬🤬🤬2
-
Noone !!
everything i know I taught it to myself ,
when i got stuck at some point I figured it out myself ,
There is no dev that inspired me for
coding, i just wanted to make cool shit so started coding3 -
Started as a "web dev" with a lot of jquery/Mootools/internal-shit and PHP3/4, PERL, and some C/C++/for modules...
The worst part was the CSS and fucking PSD to integrate with a stupid design...
The PHP present world... -
Hello,
I have gone through all the options that your public API has for syncing data, and i can now officially say that stripping an iFrame of a Google Drive page would be better than the piece of shit mutation methods you have come up with.
Most sincerely,
A fucking annoyed dev that just wasted about 4 hrs on your shit. -
If your customer service is so bad that people talk about trying to use the occult to get in touch with you, your company is shit.
Dev related cause I only want to talk to the customer service because the api docs are that fucking bad. -
Searching how to (insert dev related skill) then after that getting only adds shown for places that do professional dev work. No, obviously I am trying to learn the shit myself not willing to pay someone else, in fact add a sync my bank account to search just so google can comeback with results filed under you are too poor to pay for shit here are the diy results you poor dumb fuck using free wifi. :)
-
People wonder what would happen if internet went down while all it takes is npm repository and the dev world goes to shit xd
https://github.com/npm/cli/...2 -
how do you tell a junior dev on your team there code is shit and please don't push to the main codebase without approval first,
without crushing them and and sounding like an ass cause there a good person just a n00b developer8 -
Dev DB just auto shutdown in the middle of a restore.
From an online backup.
With NORECOVERY.
Shit.1 -
Me and Team Developer,
One day he was calling some apis and getting error
Dev - Hey , the apis seem not to work
Me - Ohk which api, i will Check
Dev - Ohk here is the api and issue
Me - Spent time in checking multiple values for same api, and...
it was working fine with no issue.
Me- SO i asked him to check again
Dev- he again said, still the issue
Me- Ohk give me the same input to try
Dev - Ohk Here is the id of the record
Me - Tested and not working... more tested and got issue like, the id was for some other record, and not actual id he need to call
Me- I told the Dev that he was sending wrong id.
Dev - Ohh Shit, i will check
Me - Yeah, let me know
Dev - Yeah , its working and i wasted 3 days just for this issue.
Me - I said yeah Ohk Fine. (Me Frustrated, as time wasted due to the input issue not mine Api)
Most of the time, this happens and i have to jump to solve. Can Anyone related to this happen with you or your team ?
Comment below7 -
!dev
I've seen a growing trend in series.
If an author wants to insert a romantic sub-plot into a very much mature series,
He won't write it in a believable way, fitting the tone of series.
Instead he will insert cheap teen-drama and make the audience cringe to death.
What is it with this shit?3 -
As you grow older, both professinally as a dev and as a team player, you realise that a complete rewrite is rarely the better answer to the problem at hand.
With that being said, I'm rewriting the glorified-mass-of-infernal-human-feces-with-corn-bits-masquerading-as-mere-shit out of a production service right now. Wish me luck.2 -
Actually have a dev thing to say now.
I wrote a script to compile my kernel with the latest mainline version using my current config options. It works...so far. I'll check back with it in a couple months and hope it still works good. It also checks daily if my kernel is out of date (yes I'm one of those, fight me)
Also managed to get my laptop to boot from power on to LightDM in 15 seconds, and 9 of those seconds are firmware. It DOES have this thing on occasion where it freezes during the boot process while initializing everything tho?? I've been meaning to try and figure it out for a minute but I put it off so much cause I don't reboot that often anyways.
As for a personal update, I hung out with some good friends today and my best friend heard my singing voice for the first time, she said I have a good voice (she does a lot of musicals and stuff and just sings all the time, so I trust her opinion). I also gave that friend a gaming laptop as a late birthday gift/early graduation gift today because she doesn't have anything to game on and I didn't really use the laptop much anyways. Plus she's like my favorite person ever and she really deserves it. Unrelated note, I have had an off and on crush on this girl for 2 years. She's always been there for me and she's just an amazing person.9 -
My first rant in ages:
Been assigned to a new Laravel project at work and the murthafucking lead dev got no fucking clue how to architect a big laravel app. Lead dev talking trash about encapsulation and every big oop grammar he can find while asking us to come up with an architecture concept for the app.
My annoyance is, the fecking project been in planning for like 7 months and d lead dev keeps saying he is looking for ideas on how we will build the app. Fuck this shit!1 -
I just can keep the gdpr memes and rants coming, this is getting out of hand, a fucking contact form needs a checkbox, that you fucking obviously "store" it, by sending a fucking email, are you absolutely out of your mind, what do you expect I do, just /dev/null route your shit? maybe I should, shitheads.3
-
Me: trying to do any simple fucking project
Me: cant figure out how to do something simple or cant figure out how to start or how something should work.
Me *Looks up problem* (everytime...)
results: SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT OF.
Am I just a shitty programmer, a shitty learner, or just not cut out for this? because I fucking Love this field. this is the only thing I ever want to do. BUT I CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME EVEN WITH LANGUAGES IM GOOD AT!! WHICH IS JUST PYTHON AND IM STILL SHIT AT THAT.
I TRY TO DO PROJECTS WITH JS, OR C, OR PYTHON PICK WHICHEVER ONE. AND I NEVER KNOW HOW I SHOULD START IT, AND IF I LOOK UP HOW TO DO IT ITS SO MUCH LONGER AND COOLER AND BETTER THAN MY DUMBASS WOULD HAVE DONE (and longer in a good way because its well thought out and works)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A REAL JOB IN THE FIELD IF I CANT MAKE THE RANDOM IDEAS THAT I SEE ON THE INTERNET AND WHY CANT I MAKE THEM AS GREAT OR LONG AND SHIT ON MY OWN. SO MANY PEOPLE CAN WRITE SO MANY LINES OF CODE AND FUNCTIONS AND ALL THIS SHIT THAT WORKS AND YEAH THEY LOOK UP SOME PROBLEMS BUT NOT HOW TO FUCKING DO THE ENTIRE THING LIKE SOME FUCKING RETARD
AWDJKBAKWJBDAOLK;JWDBOALBJKWODANLWIO;NIAWDN;PIAWLDJBAWIDHB
I CANT GO A PROJECT WITHOUT LOOKING UP HOW TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE MY LITTLE BRAIN CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT14 -
!rant!
I have replaced a dev in a company where the project already started and it is shit! The project is directed already to fail, no requirements documentation, no proper communications, and a stubborn dev teammate.
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
All the documents that we have right now is I am the one who created it. Like c'mmon! this project is already going for 1 year and I recently just joined the team!4 -
What the fuck is going on ???
How the "intermediate" c# developers can't do a simple null safe average of even numbers in an array ?!
Why they still write loops and shit (without any nul checks ofc) while it can be done in 1 line :
array?.Where(x => x % 2 == 0).DefaultIfEmpty(0).Average() ?? 0
WHY ? Even Junior c# dev is supposed to know that shit4 -
You know something's truly off when you're being challenged for all the wrong reasons. When all it seems you ever do is apply a band-aid every time instead of making the time to fix it properly and for good. Or when the people who should be making your work easier to do instead suggest new tools and features to integrate into your workflow or project because they plug the holes in their management process and can ignore the leaks for the time being.
I need to push myself out of this place and ramp up my skills and update my personal projects so I can prove myself capable and move on to a better employer. Because I'm starting to hate the stopgap short-term approach that keeps getting shoehorned into our work, and only proceeds to make us look bad even if it's the whims of our bosses causing it in the first place.
Thanks for reading. -
Worked from 8am to 23pm today. A massive power outage yesterday messed up my schedule. Still have a lot to do tomorrow. Going to sleep now. Stay strong, everyone. Weekend is coming.
-
Sometimes the days are so bad that I almost feel like giving up on this, fuck you npm, fuck you angular material constantly changing shit all the time and fuck you fellow dev who keeps fucking around with global CSS stylings
-
I just think about it ...
Running docker on windows is shit
Running nginix on windows is boofff
Running apache on windows is boofff
Running WWS on windows is hugly
Install linux
All server software run like king
Don't have access to any adobe product for design and micro$hit office for client sanity because ODF is to special, i want my docx i said ... Like what do you want from me ... Shit the dev setup is a fucking mess because some enterprises don't want to wet itself in the futur...
Microsoft love linux BULLSHIT6 -
If you're feeling lonely and want a lot of responses in any dev forum, just talk shit about a widely used programming language.2
-
What about devRant start monthly dev challenges and winners gets Freebies tech stuff jobs and other shit11
-
'It's just...' is the biggest lie any co-dev can give you!
If it's just a small change why don't they do the god damn work and spend the next 2 days wading through an undocumented shit storm.
Next person to say 'It's just x, y & x', that ticket will be going up their tail pipe sideways! -
!dev but working via a Dev firm..
So these dudas hired me to cut and edit videos for them and get to know them (considering to work as web dev after studies, good way to start they said..) sure bit of an extra income..why not..
First clips I get, butthurt ass image quality with low ass sound that not even my grandma with here hi-tech super eardevice could hear a shit..
secondly who the fuck films a company video with a mobile phone in hands.. not even a fucking tripod... The angles are all over the shitfaced scene and your shaking like a fucking dildo vibrates.. "oh fix it with warp, it's easy".
FUUCK YOU! If I tell you these pieces of shit clips aren't even worth posting on Snapchat stories, how the fuck could you even consider using them for companies?!
Every god damn client video has shitty as dildo vibrating Slenderman light quality... Come one! And you want me to consider working for you as a front end developer (where I probably still will have to go through these pills of shit videos)?! Mate.. you better think twice about that...
Ps. Yes I have consulted them regarding these issues and no.. considering that these piles of shit still come my way they haven't taken my advices..(╯°□°)╯︵( .o.)
(Had to steam out somewhere.. ☕) -
I DONT KNOW WHY BUT UBUNTU 17.04 SET MY ONLY DISK TO /DEV/SDB, I RAN A DD TO DELETE MY USB DRIVE (I TAUGHT IT WAS /DEV/SDB) AND DELETED ALL MY PARTITIONS! F* THIS SHIT, I'M GOING BACK TO ARCH11
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Ok so I studied Computer Science in college, even got my pretty little associate's degree saying I didn't eat shit.
Decided to work in ops and not as a dev because life finds a way
End up being asked to write code at work anyway because I know enough to not break everything1 -
I will never make a backend in C# ever again.
Just look at this bullshit:
official docks, PAGES long: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/...
confused devs running rampant: https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
absolute total GARBAGE
literally ANY other language or framework, you set an env file and you fuck off. of course microsoft has to make the most convoluted pile of shit horse shit fuck shit that confuses everyone. i shouldn't have to pray to the dev gods every time i spin off a staging or production build that my environment variables are set correctly
GOD10 -
! Dev related rant
I rammed a knife into our fridge freezer to throw ice on my flatmate. And bam! I punchered the goddamn coil, now we've been without fridge for two days and I'm going to lose shit load of cash.
Off goes beer for a few weeks.7 -
Are automatically configured antivirus tools simply shit or is it IT , who obviously does not know what their software does?
* AV blocks parts of my dev tools
* Ticket to IT
* Result: AV blocks all my dev tools
Okay ... thanks?3 -
Fucking project lead!!! I was told to make a configuration script i have no experience in scripting yet he expects me to deliver it the following day!!!3
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!dev !rant
Soo do parents like actually help when they know about depression and self harm and shit because I might have just told them and I think that was a mistake...6 -
I realized something. No matter what tech i use to code a project there will always be a dev to take a shit on it
someone will recommend to use redis, after i use redis some other dev will trash me for having such a poor choice and recommend me socket.io
Then if i use socket.io some 3rd dev will trash me cause thats not the right way of building stuff and recommend me kafka
If i use kafka some 4th dev will trash me and say why i dont use angular
If I use angular 5th dev will trash me for not using react
If i use react 6th dev will trash me for not using nextjs
Tired of this bullshit
I'll use whatever tech i need. If i dont know what to use ill ask and take the first suggestion. I'll just build a saas and when it starts earning money ill pay other devs to refactor and scale the hell hole (which wont be cause i write good code following solid principles and not spaghetti). Much simpler solution than wrecking my head with decisions of tech stack8 -
After a while of functioning as a dev, I've learned one of many lessons:
The amount of experience you have does not correlate with your expertise, but it in fact correlates with the amount of absolutely broken shit you've seen and your ability deal with it. -
!dev
Me: I have a shit ton of schoolwork to do
*Opens a google doc and start working on it*
*spends 20 minutes reformatting it because they way it was laid out annoys me*
Fuck this4 -
In high school I absolutely hated business and science subjects(phy, chem, bio) as well.
Not to forget fucking maths. Calculas and all that shit I never paid attention to.
I chose CS hoping it would rid me of maths.
Fell in love with programming the very first semester.
Now I'm in my last semester and a freelance Web Dev. -
Do you think AWS will still be THE thing within 5 years? Trying to learn REST/cloud/database stuff as a junior dev, but I'm having trouble with the pile of shit documentation.4
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I overheard this mid level dev discussing a new task with a senior dev. They're discussing compile error in cmake. I realized that the mid level dev asked so many basic stuff that are easily google-able. Mind you, our codebase is cmake based, how come she didn't know even the basics and yet survive in our company for years?
I felt bad for the senior dev, as I knew he's busy with his work. He couldn't do his job because he had to do hand-holding with this dev.
My biggest mistake is often trying to solve things by myself which will take hours instead of just asking a senior. But asking other dev for every little things are also annoying. Why can't you just google shit up or RTFM?1 -
Dear Webmin,
how is it that you fail to update and fuck up every Apache config file existing on the server.
Why can't I just be a lazy dev tonight, instead of fixing your moronic actions upon those files, one by one.
Why is it that you frigging forget to close Directory tags properly.
Why is it that you show a Forbidden page when everything seems to be finally ok.
And why is it that I can not re-generate that shit with one button.
Fuck this shit.
sudo rm -rf /2 -
Day 3 as the Junior Dev.
Co worker fucks every time on defining functions in python
What my asshole teammate does is:
def someShitFunc():
print(shit)
And he was clearly instruct to return value not print the value what a jerk he is.
I have to fix his all problems and in meeting he brags how his code worked. What a sucker.4 -
What are your thoughts on documenting developer (local/dev) functional testing? Should we be trusted that we've tested our shit and it works? Or should we provide proof? Are we better to provide proof to protect ourselves?3
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Recruiter contacted me about a job via email. Being the intrepid dev, I GlassDoor'd them. Nothing but shit reviews, so I told him no thanks.
"Oh we've seen the reviews and we're really trying to get our stuff together."
"Not on my back, you won't. I'm not going from the frying pan into the fire. "
He sent me more email asking me to reconsider. If you have shit reviews and have to beg people, uhh, are you that stupid to think anyone will come work for you?2 -
How is it, that features goes thru the entire mill of dev, staging, preview.
Then when deployed to production, things blow up..
Turns out, columns are nullable only in production DB and of course, those happen to be null in there.
If I had a dime for every time I’ve seen shit like this…
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻7 -
They want to make a project fast, give me an unexperienced frontend dev to guide late in the project, gave design a shit ton of time and cut my hours by 25%. Good luck. I don't even care if the project is late and or if I get fired. I can find another job7
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Started at a shit position (throwing truck) with a company to get my foot in the door. dev position opened up, so I applied. Only to find out employees have to wait 90 days before they can switch departments... 😑😑😑
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From a dev perspective Facebook is a piece of shit, if someone like me get stuck with things like creating a page, what would be like for someone who's not comfortable with tech things. They have the ressources to make it Apple like UX .....3
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> client has no infrastructure of the project
> dev like me still work on it
> I constantly request for mock-ups and infrastructure
> client never responds back, instead he raises issues ahead of sprint
> I snap back at him
> Client wants call now
> What the fuck
To be honest, I'm gonna take a stand here...fuck this shit man, no clear way of working2 -
My project is losing in one week: product owner, team leader and to make matters even worse our best dev also leaves. FUCK ME. We will see what happens when shit hits a fun.2
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Do a simple fucking thing ... Hoo no that cross origin shit protection XD i know the utility of this protection but in dev damm just shut the fuck up and work
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Never lose your confidence as a dev, especially when those fucking managers tryna blame you for anything that goes wrong in the system or just wanna make you feel like shit.
This goes out to y’all managers. Fuck you!!! -
!dev
People that say shit like "real fans know that *their opinion* is true" or "anyone that knows anything about x knows that *their opinion* is true" are some of the worst people in society.
You can't start a sentence implying you're going to state a fact only to give your opinion. It's bullshit. It's lame. It makes you look like an idiot.3 -
New piece of code which should work perfectly and solve your problem but it is not working just because you forgot to remove an old piece of code you were trying to fix the same problem! Fuck my life!1
-
News Feed for web dev trends/news?
I don't want these "how to do some weird shit with divi" kinda-news, I want to learn about new trends, frameworks, stacks, tech n stuff, especially new js features. Mainly webdev but other dev-stuff, too.
And if someone has a better reader than feedly for such feeds, pls let me know.3 -
!dev
So I work at a monitoring station (yeah not a professional dev yet), so basically our entire day is spent on the phone. Yesterday morning, our phone system broke. Everyone is getting calls from all departments. Even departments they're not in.
As if my job isn't stressful enough as it is, now this fucking thing happens, and whattya know, shit still isn't working today... -
Ha! There's nothing like listening to a couple of crotchety devs talking shit about agile for half an hour, just to have a junior dev bust into the room and frantically exclaim "we have to start over from scratch again!" Apparently, someone didnt fully understand the requirements... 😉1
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When I went in to this I wanted to be a back-end dev I'm close to a year employed now and I can now that I'm a front-end dev... Really didn't see shit turning out like this1
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Some little piece of shit fairy messed with my code.
Made some modifications in a tamplate file, tested in dev everything worked. Pushed it to prod and in one of its cases it displayed the array key of each element. Checked the code, an that was what written in there in prod and in dev too. However that shit in dev (and previous versions in prod) displayed key[0]->name as intended.
So I thought git blame and check where it went wrong... Guess what... That fucking line is the same age as the file itself....
How that motherfucking shit worked, and what had I had in mind when writing that shitcode is a mistery... -
I've been for 1 month in my first job as dev and I have a demo on Wednesday about some stuff either I didn't do myself and nor have any idea of how it works. De demo is 6 mins with the full project tribe... from ppl over the globe... wish me shit.6
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Now that's an election done right...
Stupid US political system/media where all the attention goes to Republicans and Democrats candidates and both are the same shit...
Yes I know not dev related but just had to rant....11 -
I love it when you and the dev team completely forget about the timeline and start implementing random shit thinking it'll work.
We will get there eventually -
my stupid ass workplace use the same build server for production and dev. we daily deploy broken shit to out clients. what the fuck
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I got into dev during the AOL 2.5 days where everyone was creating proggies and punters. I was obsessed with the AOL API designed for Visual Basic (VB4 at the time).
So essentially I got into dev to break shit and make peoples lives miserable. Good times.2 -
Fuck windows. Says I am managed by a fucking organization on my personal account, so I can't install dev tools. WTF piece of shit.
Going back to linux.3 -
Came to the realisation that I wasted three years in uni, today my final grades were released - for those who give a shit I got a first
I was happy till I realised I got my dev position without them even knowing my final grade.3 -
Sometimes non-dev people give the look like they could do the same shit in half the time and you purposefully made the UI ugly (UI wasn't provided and I m no designer).. can anybody suggest some polite ways to tell them to FUCK OFF!!2
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Shit my "Senior" Dev coworker days:
"Well, logically, lies are more important because it takes more effort to remember the lie, who you've told it to, and any extra stuff you made up to keep your story straight. Then, when you have more than one lie, you work even harder to keep them all in line".1 -
Fucking hell, using Android studio and chrome Dev tools at the same time is a pain. You'd think Google would have their shit sorted when it came to sharing adb with their own programs.
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"Version control......what is that? I never heard of it"
Words cannot express the shock I felt when I heard this from an interviewee for junior dev.
How the FUCK do you call yourself a developer you piece-of-shit when you don't know such an essential thing?????7 -
Wasted 2 years of my life working at a retail store den i decided fuck dis shit ama pursue dis web dev thing2
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I hate how hostile the game dev scene is to newcomers. Unless you have a game to show for or a success story, they don't give a shit about you. What gives?3
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Worst: Not landing a decent job
Best: dev-wise, none really.
It has been a rather shit year, really.14 -
Posting in dev rant for some is purely meant for the free goodies.... So they post their shit to get likes....2
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"Unexpectedly found nil while unwrapping an Optional value"
What dev thought this would be a good idea in Swift? Sometimes I hear the compiler's thoughts as it comes across this:
1. The dev explicitly told me this value would be optional.
2. I have a record from the database, and I see a 'nil' in the column for this value.
3. That's not "None" , Oh my god, I need there to be an explicit "None<CustomType>".
4. Shit shit shit shit. Oh my god.
5. PANIC!4 -
Facebook doesn't even let users select text without opening dev tools? Either it's broken or broken by design. I think it used to be possible 10 years ago, but maybe I'm just fooling myself about the good old days. What a shit show the internet has become. Sad!5
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I want to update to MacOs Sierra but am afraid it would mess up with my full stack dev environment, mamp and shit.
Anyone facing issues after update.
Advice??4 -
Fuck the dev! Who decided to change shit on their site without telling me...
It's your fucking app do you want it to work!?
I can't connect the two if you keep changing shit!
I know this dev to be a fucking asshole!6 -
me: "say, TL, why don't I see any debug/info/warn logs in dev/qa environments?"
TL: "Yeah, we've disabled them, the logs are too expensive (ApplicationInsights)"
thanks bro... go debug this shit yourself... -
Just patching shit from other unknown Junior dev is depressing ... Its like i can do operations but i kill 80% of my patients do you want a try ? If you dont know what you doing please just take time to get a small formation at least thx2
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It was game dev.
Just googled how to make games on my own, thats how it began. Yoyo games game maker, Oracle's greenfoot(this was some cool shit),stencyl then using some random game engines, pygame,lua etc. Had fun. Still having fun. Will try game dev again in future.2 -
don't you just hate, when this happens? translated from Slovak we call this "the system of the falling shit" you know this under "hot potato"
email:
from: marketing coworker
to: senior dev 1
* asks for a lot of stuff, deadline yesterday, high priority, on a site for which the jenkins build is crashing every once in a while, because we are migrating all the time so some folders are already deleted or not created yet and the build config is really strict *
forwarded from: senior dev 1
@senior dev 2
forwarded from: senior dev 2
@senior dev 3
forwarded from: senior dev 3
@junior me
ಠ_ಠ fuck me i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
!dev
I will rather have you shit on my face than show me empathy.
please keep your pity to yourself and hit me, i can take it !!3 -
I know unit tests and TDD get a bad wrap but I think they’re both great. The problem is people don’t think about what they’re actually coding.
Today I uncovered a unit test with 100 asserts in it.
And half of them are in a loop.
😳
If unit tests weren’t a thing then the dev who wrote this would still be a shit dev.4 -
We're re doing our company website and they put a non dev on our team for extra "hands" but when she's pushing code and re writing my shit that makes me a little nervous. Good grief we need a merge to master5
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Gemini is WAY better than gpt for dev assistance, at least for me. I’m using it a shit ton these days. I’ll still use gpt for questions like if cow tendon soup helps my ankle tendinitis out 😁.
Gemini is my main man3 -
Absolutely hate it when managers give an estimate for an hour tasks to be completed in 7 days.. why can't they just accept they are shit and ask for the effort estimation from the concerned dev.. all the AGILity goes in an awry..2
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How to get through tough dev days?
Cursing, lots and lots of cursing. Cursing your boss, cursing at your boss, cursing at your (deserving) coworkers, and cursing life, the universe and whoever invented this fucking shit!1 -
Becoming a real piece of shit.
When a friend who has no responsibilities and no costs gets a higher paid dev job than I've ever wanted, in an area with a lower CoL.
A normal decent human being would be happy for his friend. I however am not. Guess I deserve what happens1 -
!dev (never been less dev related)
I’m off for a few days from tomorrow on.
Have to travel to get some administrative shit ordered..
But I’ll depart the day after tomorrow.
Now I’m half way drunk asking myself why I didn’t take off from Monday on..
Today (Thursday) is my Friday, because tomorrow is off, which is the day I get hammered but it’s not Friday, it’s fucking Thursday..
Somehow bothers me because the days are shifted.
Sometimes I feel a bit like Sheldon cooper..
You get me or am I just talking nonsense?1 -
Im dev in a huge company.
I take a 3 days training about the company purposes and goals.
As dev I dont give shit about company aims couse company is borring and there are like 100 levels between them and my real work. -
> me when angry
" what the fuck you stupid dev stop doing crappy shit"
> me when trying to do stuff
#!/bin/bash set -e
echo "no please"
exit 0
I should stop blaming devs for doing crappy stuff -
Agency life where the dev department plays 3rd string to our Creative/Experience team and our Demand Gen team. Mainly because the leadership has no idea how to sell dev work?
Oh, and when dev work comes in, its on a super rushed/compressed time table where we've over-promised, and under-charged.
No margin on this project? Yeah, no shit cause you sold it for 50% of what we told you it would cost, dumb ass.2 -
As a junior frontend dev should I rather work in a web agency or in a biggee company that needs a frontend dev for their software?
I would really like to join a web agency but it seems like only small agencies with shit conditions would hire me...1 -
Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...
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How bash does not support redirecting stderr to /dev/null when using read redirection inside command substitution is F*CKING ANNOYING.
x=$(</foo/non_exitence_file.txt 2>/dev/null)
Why do people still use this shit of a shell?2 -
So this supposed dev ops job has devolved into first support.
This shit honestly doesn't even make sense to me
Time to start looking5 -
What had to be a nice day:
So last week a friend asked me if I wanted to come.
Some days (2) later I said ok and asked him what time.
I’m also doing a project with him (he isn’t a dev), so I thought I add new features and show him the ideas.
Yesterday he wrote a message: “My family is coming, Sorry, I need to cancel”
I’m so angry. I worked long on these features to make him happy, and show ideas. And then when nearly everything is done he cancels.
I don’t know what so tell him/do. What would you do?3 -
My boss, Business people call dev code monkey bec they act as money is shown, like monkey likes banana! Dances Which is kinda wired like what they think we are (felt like shit)3
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waste a few hours trying to debug shit im working on a feature branch, only to check main branch and it turns out somebody else broke main but the dev environment i'm piggy backing on using is cutting edge
i now miss having a separate individual dev environment to use, but i suppose id lose on some perks probably -
First try on Debian to deploy dev environment, can't fix the grey screen cross cursor vnc issue with gnome regardless whatever solution on the internet.
Screw this shit wasted plenty my time. Reinstalled back CentOS 6. -
Typing fast is something every dev picks up as a skill because of course, its the natural progression.
But it's amazing how this skill goes to shit when your crush needs help and is watching you type something.1 -
Alright, let me pitch in. You have no real reason not to be a dev, cause there are lots of other jobs that are just plain shit.
You can create a long list of well thought out reasons for not to, especially the seniors. I like to see things in perspective however.1 -
Why the fuck do I have to train ppl on a CRM platform when they have multiple tutorials and I am a backend dev.
Not a fucking CRM dev.
I dont give a shit how the client wants to do business. I just build their tools. -
When you dont have a rubber duck so you just type your mind to a dev friend but he want none of your shit and gets pissed off.1
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!rant
OMG Hackernoon has the shitiest and cringeworthy interface! I mean WTF is that green and mono shit! Why do you have to glamourise a stereotype!!! I mean don't you think the tech and dev community already suffers a lot because of stupid stereotypes? -
Not asking a dev to do a whole document rundown of built components and then asking creative to fucking add new shit making the document worthless. Oh yes. Then complain why the document was not up to date.
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I dont know where to start learning aws. I dont know what is enough to be learned here. Theres SO much shit to learn. SO much stuff going on. Where do i start to learn aws for dev?3
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When you need to reactivate your Twitter dev account, get surprised by amount of the shit you need to write and simply refuse it. Fuck this. At least i can focus on more fun tasks than social networks implementations.