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I'd like to extend my heartfelt fuck-you to the following persons:
- The recruiter who told me that at my age I wouldn't find a job anymore: FUCK YOU, I'll send you my 55 birthday's cake candles, you can put all of them in your ass, with light on.
- The Project Manager that after 5 rounds of interviews and technical tests told me I didn't have enough experience for his project: be fucked in an Agile way by all member of your team, standing up, every morning for 15 minutes, and every 2 weeks by all stakeholders.
- The unemployment officer who advised me to take low level jobs, cut my expenses and salary expectations: you can cut your cock and suck it, so you'll stop telling bullshit to people
- The moron that gave me a monster technical assignment on Big Data, which I delivered, and didn't gave me any feedback: shove all your BIG DATA in your ass and open it to external integrations
- the architect who told me I should open my horizons, because I didn't like React: put a reactive mix in your ass and close it, so your shit will explode in your mouth
- the countless recruiter who used my cv to increase their db, offering fake jobs: print all your db on paper and stuff your ass with that, you'll see how big you will be
To all of them, really really fuck you.12 -
Okay, time to delete my old Skype account
1. Enter Skype name
2. Reset password
3. Captcha
4. Complete email
5. Enter email code
6. You are logged in now, please complete your profile first
7. Enter birth date
8. Add your phone number or second email address
9. Create new outlook mail
10. Got access to profile settings
11. Click on delete profile
12. Stop please first verify your email again
13. Enter code
14. Check all checkboxes that I am really sure to want it deleted
15. Click delete button
Fuck hell and that all again for my second account7 -
I'm not really one for news, but apparently (a while ago) there was some 12 year old who taught himself to code and made his own apps and whatnot. Girlfriend informed me of this.
Just got told that I'm a useless piece of shit because Im 23 and don't develop apps and I'm not rich like this kid. Fuck man. I develop mostly server side software, and I personally fucking wrote half the shit the company uses. No one really knows, so naturally in the silent developer. Don't much care about that. But fuck, being told I'm useless because a 12 year old has more money than me really made me take one straight to the balls. Now I'm sitting here, moping, downloading android studio, and just going to prove a person wrong. I can fucking code an app, it's not that hard.
Should have just said fuck off, but I don't have the strength and effort to face flying cups anymore.
Android sdk, here I come.12 -
Stupid tech guy: "You should use Windows, it's bettter"
Me: "No i quit Windows and use Linux"
At the end of the day he updates Windows and got a BSOD...
I laughed and walked off8 -
Installed Ubuntu Linux on my cousin's PC... Age 12... He starts earlier than me... :/
But I'm proud of him :)8 -
Stop fucking using #tags outside of Twitter! It's stupid and pointless! And, if I hear another person end a sentence with a hashtag IRL, I'm going on a fucking rampage. 😠17
-
Fucking cloud providers always trying to steal your shit and spy on your things, fucking prying eyes. That's why i've decided to go back hosting my own private cloud from home. Running on some very energy efficient shit: dual core intel atom cpu (so slow that it can't fucking run windows normally), 16gb of ram, because why the fuck not? and 1tb 2.5"hdd, along with unlimited data - 100/100 Mbit/s internet connection with a server response time less than 95ms just to backup my shitty Iphone selfies and cat pics, host some very important files and regularly back up my contacts. This shit runs CentOS, Nginx, https, bitch! This platform is more trustworthy than your shitty dropbox or whatever other shit they offer you. I can choose whether i back-up my shit from local network or over internetz, Costing me no more than 25€ annually(just to keep the machine on 24/7/365).
14 -
Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test
Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.
Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.2 -
Today I got pulled into a meeting with my 'boss'. Apparently the UX/CX person went and bitched to his bosses about the developers not following the UX/CX designs.
We missed two things. The font size for a 3 letter word was slightly off, and we missed a period at the end of some text.
I wish I was joking.6 -
$ crontab -r monthly.irl
The following extra packages will be installed:
pregnancy lib-life lib-fuckyou
Do you wanna continue? [y/n]7 -
Fucking teachers, man.
I had to present a project today.
Teacher randomly asks me
"Where did you copy this from?"
At this point I'm pretty fucking pissed, but am thinking that he might just be kidding around or fucking with me. Nope. Serious question. Well, fuck, now I have to start defending my own fucking work, because this fucking asshole assumes that I copied my project from somewhere.
He fucking questions me like I'm a murder suspect for half an hour. After that he gave me a passing grade.
I have no problem with the grade. My project wasn't entirely finished, I knew that I would only get a shitty grade on it.
I have a problem with this line of questioning. That fucker thinks that accusing people of plagiarism okay. I don't think there are appropriate words to describe such a rotten person.
The funny thing is, that colleagues who did in fact copy all their fucking work, were not questioned in such a way.
So basically if you think for yourself, work your ass off, you are a fucking cheating asshole.
Dear teacher,
I can say, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.14 -
Do you know this?
You are the small guy, you are dancing the whole evening with a girl and then a big asshole comes around, h
Judges you and want to be better that you?
Than je comes and insult you?
Damn that's the moment, when self defense save your life. :)
He tried to punch me, but then underrated my skills 😌
Ohhh man I love karma😌🤗7 -
"Linux is shit because nothing works on my new DOM 2017/2018 laptop!"
Yes it's true that nothing will work if you put your finking ubuntu 14.04 installation with a fucking old 3.13 kernel in your new Laptop!
Update. Your. Fucking. System.6 -
ALMOST HALF AN HOUR SPENT TRYING TO LOG INTO MY FUCKING RASPBERRY PI OVER SSH.
you know what the problem is?
I’m not gonna tell you because I want you to feel the agony too.
> be me
> want to set up a nextcloud instance on pi to play with
> boot up
> ssh pi
*enter password*
*password incorrect*
^tries like 60 more times with different things
> pulls HDMI out of PC
> connect to pi direct
*please login*
*enter password*
Hackerman_voice_im_in.mp3
Wtf.xml
> check the logs
>try login from phone
Fuckyou.jpg
>Tries resetting password
Fuckyou-final.jpg
>tried logging into other pi
Fuckyou-final2.jpg
>*wtf’s harder*
Andthenithitme.png
>type @ sign
Pi: “
> OHHHHHHH6 -
This rant has been boiling for a long time now so please bear with me. Here it goes.
A slight introduction of the lady working in my office. She's a soft spoken person who works for like 2 hours a day at max (rest of her time goes on surfing facebook etc).
NOW WHAT FUCKING GRINDS MY GEARS IS THAT SHE FUCKING THINKS SHE KNOWS HOW TO "CODE" ONLY BY KNOWING HTML!! FML
She claims of being a Social Media Expert, Digital Guru. But, SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE GOOGLE TAG MANAGER!!
MY WHOLE FUCKING DAY GETS RUINED BY EVEN INTERACTING WITH HER!!!!!!3 -
Conclusion for this week:
Arrrgggh I worked so fucking long...
Thanks EU, FUCK ARTICLE 13,
FUCK EU, FUCK POLITICIANS, FUCK ALL!
PYTHON WHY THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW AND WHY?!??
FUCKFUCKFUCK
Have I missed something?6 -
FuckYou Google. I don't understand. I'm an Iranian, so what? Can I make a nuclear weapon with Android, am i?
10 -
Bind's unpopular opinions, chapter #fuckyou:
Linux for server, windows for desktop.
Tune in for the next episode where we fight off angery linux fanboys6 -
I have set up a raspberry pi and screwed it with some switches and buttons to the wall next to my bed, so I don't have pick the remote which lays on my shelf...
The pi handles the buttons and switches and sends infrared signals to TV, stereo and receiver ^^1 -
Our school had for an open source way of dealing with home schooling and managing the school network and so on.
Now the government forced a "proprietary" system on our school and everyone hates it. The teachers didn't want it the pupils didn't want it but who cares "what we do is the best".
Btw the proprietary system costs a fuck load of money even though they just mixed many open source projects and made it their own proprietary thing.
And this company now get's loads of money for their shitty system that never really worked once since we got it.
They blocked so many ip's that we can't even access google and it's services on the school wifi and the bandwith dropped severely with the new system.
Oh and many random ip's e.g. one of my vps is accessible but the other one not.
Discord is blocked.
Web whatsapp.
And so on...
Now....
I need to learn for tests next week and need to access that stuff on the portal but...
Now they decided to switch the LDAP server to the new system and since a few hours i can't access this fucking thing.
It seems like the platform now contacts the new server which isn't even up and running....
Never change a fucking running system....
Oh and we got smart boards and it runs on android and they didn't block adb. Now i installed clash of clans on one of those things. Haha whoops.
These boards cost 7000€ and have security patches from 2 years ago....and Android 87 -
gta5 source code leaked
const char* testActionTreeName[] =
{
"ActionTree/Fuck",
"ActionTree/FuckYou",
"ActionTre",
"ActionTre/Fuck",
"ActionTree/Fuck/you/in/the/ass",
};2 -
We kinda feel the feature you lead was messy because even though you brought up valid use cases and we decided to postpone the development of those till the next release, the user wanted them and we pressured you to get it done in a couple of days…which lead to a slightly buggy less than perfect release…so yeah, even tho you saved our asses for secretly starting development of those extra use cases beforehand we won’t showcase it as a successful release.
- Management1 -
The ability to automate my day, create my own apps and modify open source ones to fit with my conditions :)
-
fuck you rant
fuck you fake developer
fuck you colleague
throw your laptop out of the window, you are fucking useless
you are still fucking going your own fucking way you fucking piece of shit
fuck you9 -
CLEARLY! ...
I'm drunk.
//motherfucking populate the mailings table yo
Route::get('fuckman', function () {
$statuses = array('queued', 'sent', 'failure');
$statusKey = rand(0,2);
$mailings=App\Models\Mailing::all();
foreach($mailings as $mailing){
$mailing->status=$statuses[$statusKey];
$mailing->save();
}
return 'fuckyou';
}); -
Ouuu today I experienced how web-devs must feel...
Task: create a form to answer questions with yes/no and a database behind it to collect stats.
So login to phpmyadmin
1. Wrong password got error message
2. No error message, still at login screen, but in address I see a token
3. There must be something wrong
4. Reinstalled phpmyadmin and mysql-server several times, wasted one hour on it - still stuck at login screen
5. Tried different browser and it fucking works!
6. Realized that cleaning cache fixed it...1 -
I swear I will KILL the next one who comes to me to pimp up his excel sheet WITH FUCKING VBA -.-
This shit is so annoying.... Just because I started my apprenticeship and need to learn everything like a 3 year old kid...
Get me outta here! -
Betty: Opens slack chat with Bob, Tony and me to ask me to fix some data for a client who messed the setup. (Don’t worry just building a script that takes 3 hours to complete and that I must supervise)
Betty: Opens slack chat with Ron, Tim and me to ask me to force the system I made to ignore protocol because someone else’s fuck up made it so she didn’t get the output she expected.
Betty: proceeds to ask for status updates constantly on both chats. She also disguises them as her asking what she can do to “get it across faster” knowing there’s jack shit I or anyone can do to make it go “faster”.
Also Betty, vomits BS about my micro service being unstable in front of managers even though it is it’s correctness what brought to light a bug fucking up thousands of records silently.
Go fuck yourself Betty ☺️ and fuck the client5 -
Finished work early, shutting down the PC, Clicked Ctrl+S instead. Fucking Muscle Memory still want me to work?
-
Fuck this fucking shit...
Be me, plan a trip to a festival with friends, vacation approved, get up at 3am to drive 9 hours from Germany to Italy, find a nice spot for our tent and yeah...
I was unloading stuff of my car and standing in range of the tailgate and get the shit smashed onto my head...
Yeah I'm a volunteer firefighter, so good at paramedics, so I applied a pressure bandage myself, because shit was bleeding all out of my head...
Then I got a ride with the ambulance to the hospital and now about a hour in the waiting room...
Please cross your fingers, that the X-ray that I'm waiting for shows no damages and that i can continue my festival...
What a happy first festival day...5 -
Android 12, stop telling me every other day which app has permission to access my location in the background. I know, I gave permission, and I want to keep the setting "Allow all the time". Where's the "don't ask again" option?
And why does this happen for an app released by the German federal government (about once a week) but never, ever for your shitty Google Maps that always seems to know where I've been (at least if don't leave my phone at home, which is hard to do in times when you have to show your digital proof of vaccination everywhere yo go). Fucking Android, fuck the Android 12 clunkiness (inspired by Apple's iOS?) and fuck the fucking notifications. This is my phone, I paid for it, I own it, I want to turn off this bullshit. Wait, Google, once I find time to get back to LineageOS/Cyanogenmod you will never see a trace of my digital existence again. Oh, and fuck your "digital wellbeing" as well! At least you let me turn that off. Yes, I know, I am not grateful, but that's what devrant is for, isn't it? Fuck you, Google!2 -
I always code when I have no motivation to do other things. I think it will change when I start working :/
-
Finally did it!
Replaced my desktop pc (which I use for gaming) which had Windows 7 with Arch Linux! It was not hard because I already use it on my laptop.
OK it was a bit struggle with nvidia and cinnamon due to missing libraries I had to install which I don't know before.
But it is possible to play games on Arch?
Yes definitely!
CS:GO - works (native, steam)
League of Legends - works (wine)
World of Tanks - works (wine)
All I need is working (:1 -
First of all... What I really like is computing. Wearing a language T-shirt and defending a framework as a New World Order activist is not me. What matters is to make the computer perform the task that I programmed, in a way that it is easy to maintain and that it executes quickly. User needs to like and operate fast. And the computer should be respected and not make it work its ass off just because it needs to load my fancy libraries. Whether the task will be done in C, C++, Go, PHP, Java, Ruby, VB, or whatever the fuck it is doesn't matter.
Fed up with people shipping a simple 2kb utility with 2GB of runtime dependencies.
IT is the only profession that advocates branding and specializes in a single tool. I've never seen an electrician who only uses a single brand screwdriver.
Fuck you fan boys.1 -
Can someone suggest me a good, cheap phone with good battery?
I think at least 4000mAh and around 200€
My Touchscreen broke and I don't have enough money for a good flagship...5 -
Service Controllers book us into the power stations and mines.
Was going to check a new client's current system and develop them a new one.
Service controllers booked the PM but not me.
Oh well, now there's a dev sitting outside a power station like an arsehole coding on his android because he has literally an hour or two to waste.
They do it out of spite, not out of mishap. -
Normal Ppl: What could be Worst Than a Breakup? :(
Me: Having your Openstack Installation getting Fucked Up at its last leg.1
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