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Search - "have"
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Random Uncle: So what do you do?
Me: Uncle, I'm a dev at xyz company.
RU: Ah so what do they do
Me: Uncle we work in the internet advertising business, kind of like AdSense
RU: So you basically spam the web?
Me: Yes :/10 -
Admin: "Wait, I noticed unusual traffic."
Me: "What is it?"
Admin: "Looks like we have a bot here."
Me: "A bot? Didn't know we are so popular."
Admin: "It makes constantly login requests through our API, it already surpassed 600.000! I will ban it right away."
Me: "wait, that just sounds like my bot.."
Admin: "DUDE, WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
When there is bug, you don't know of, it can end up quite embarrassing.11 -
From the Gods of The Stack Overflow for the pesants of the community:
https://goalkicker.com
Just go there. This is everything you have to know, ever.56 -
Nobody:
Senior frontend Dev at my company: "microservices best thing ever"
Also him: "Relational databases gonna die"
Also him (talking to the DB team): "You're gonna dissapear, Mongo is the future"
Me: "Eh... Dude, Mongo is still a database.."
Him: "Microservices"
Send help...27 -
“Why don’t you have a girlfriend? You have such a great personality”
“I’m a programmer.”
“Oh. I see.”17 -
3:00.
You turn off the PC.
You went to bed to sleep.
You realized you didn't have dinner.
You are hungry.
You are lazy and tired to get up.
You are in dilemma.
You are pretty screwed.13 -
So, as everyone knows on here by now (or, a lot of ranters), I am a fervid privacy person.
Appearantly a new surveillance law in my country is about to extend mass surveillance/hacking a lot. So here a rundown of what they are about to be allowed to do (stuff that is not okay imo and this is the reason I am so pro-privacy):
- Mass Data Gathering: The intelligence agency over here (lets call it IA from now) can pretty much record everything send through the country.
- Extra Protection: If they want to conduct surveillance on journalists/lawyers, they have to go through extra channels first at least.
- Data/survaillance sharing: The IA is allowed to share their raw/filtered data with foreign intelligence agencies without limits. Also, they're allowed to conduct surveillance based on foreign requests.
- Secret DNA database: A secret DNA database will be created which can store the DNA profiles of any person who has commited any kind of crime. These profiles are allowed to be stored for a maximum of 30 years. This database is allowed to be shared with any foreign intelligence agency.
- Hacking: Unlimited power to hack any device deemed neccesary to hack in relation to crime. From computers to smartphones and so on. Also, it's allowed to use zero-days without reporting them to the vendor (we have seen what can go wrong with that through the ShadowBrokers scandal).
- Automatic Database Collection: They are allowed to directly tap into any database they see required (banks, healthcare, messaging services and so on). Practically this can lead to backdoors being build in because if you don't cooperate, you can go to prison. (mother of god I am not using anything closed source anymore if possible).
So yeah, this is pretty much the reason why I am so privacy consious. This country is fucked.57 -
Java is to JavaScript
: what Car is to Carpet
: what Swift is to Suzuki Swift
: what Perl is to a Pearl
: what Ruby is to a Ruby Gemstone
: what Go is to Go Home
: what Shell is to Sea Shell
: what Bash is to Big Bash
: what Alice is to Alice in wonderland
: what Rust is to Rusty Theron
: what Awk is to your Awkward cousin
: what Dart is to Darts
: what Julia is to Julia Roberts
: what Korn is to Corn
: what Maple is to Syrup
: what Caml is to a Camel
: what CHILL is to Netflix
: what Crack is to Crack
: what Curl is to Curls
: what Hugo is to Boss
To be continued..
Have a joke? Say it in comments
Criteria : programming language on left , analog on right15 -
When you accidentally open the emulator when you already have 7 android studio projects, 20 opera tabs ,code::blocks,u torrent, sublimetext and a word document open8
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My father just told me that I'm not a good programmer, because there are kids out there, who are younger than me and know more programming languages.
Besides the fact that the number of programming languages one knows has nothing to do with programming skills, I just said: "I wanna see that kid.", because I already knew his answer.
"Well, I never said there are many of these kids."
*facepalm*9 -
"could you put me through to a colleague who has the ability to have an actual intellectual conversation?"
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Somehow I finished the call but God damn it took some energy and self control not to completely lose my shit. His tone was also very denigrating (he just didn't agree on something which was his fucking problem)
Fuck him.6 -
Me and myself have worked on so many projects together but somehow we never really finished any of them...10
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Still haven't been paid for completed a retail shop project. But all is well, since the system will not start on Black Friday till I remove the if condition 😈9
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Maybe if I get a "world's #0 programmer" coffee cup people will think I'm under qualified to hack their Facebook...3
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Email. Fuck everything about it.
It's an obnoxious queue of messages I somehow must handle. And everyone in society expects you to have email. You can cancel your phone number, maybe even live without a house... but every hobo still must check their email.
It is an endless shitstream of things I don't want. Like a garden with some nice tomato plants, but then a really smelly weed starts invading and no matter what you do it keeps coming back.
I don't want to login to unsubscribe. I don't care about your "notifications center", or "managing the offers you receive from us".
And then your boss asks you to design an email campaign... I don't want to receive that shit, why would our customers? And even if I agreed with using email as a communication channel... YOU THOUGHT CSS IN INTERNET EXPLORER WAS A BITCH?
No really. Fuck email. Fuck everything about it.15 -
Some companies have images of their tech support personnel in their websites.
They show you Steve and Michael......but in reality you get Rajhit and Pakalu13 -
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 35. One to actually change the bulb and 34 to say after the fact, "I could have done that better."11 -
I was joking with my colleague what is the best comment for this if hell.
And now my boss send me this 🤣🤣🤣8 -
Some people assume that since I am techy that I have a really good laptop or setup.
Nope.
Just have my raspberry pi 3 as my main computer. Go Linux🔥🔥12 -
Client, two months ago: "Where is the new and complicated custom software?! We needed this a week ago!"
Also client three weeks after delivery: "We still don't have time to test the new and complicated custom software. You'll have to wait for payment a little longer."6 -
Reinstalling arch. I broke it while grading homework. Sad. Also worried my phone is going to ring and I'm going to not have my laptop ready.16
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Why do people get so unbelievably greedy when there is something for free.
Like "it's a free game server host, let's just create 100 accounts so I can have 100 empty servers"
Or "you can get a free game key if you contribute a lot, so let's just spam until I get the key"
It's so painfully to watch.3 -
At work, me and my guys don't say "you have my attention" we say "you have my erection"
Yeah, its juvenile, and in poor taste, but to us its fricking hilarious.
Anyway, at any meeting when someone says "attention please" we always start giggling like fucking morons.
We basically substituted the word "attention" for "erection" and the only thing that we fear is using it in public. My guys seldom have to speak in public, I do most of the talking as their manager.
It falls on me to not say it at the wrong place, and the wrong time.
That is not reassuring to me. But I wonder how much longer can I keep going without messing that one up.15 -
Dad thinks i sleep all day and always tells me to get a job.
Mom doesn't know nothing about what i do
Wife thinks I'm talking to other women and have a fucking magic money tree when bills need to be paid.
Wife's grandparents think I'm a lazy piece of shit but ask me to fix their fucking tvs.
Mother-in-law: knows i make money working on the computer but not how.14 -
!rant OMG GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!! I only have tendinitis in my elbow causing pain in my hand, not carpal tunnel or arthritis 😄10
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YouTube, I called it. I freaking called it! This is an old story, it was back when Cryptominer via browser became a thing.
Me: "How long do you thing it will take until YouTube advertisements will contain cryptominer?"
IT WAS A F*CKING JOKE YOUTUBE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR ADVERTISEMENT POLICIES ARE REALLY THAT BAD!
A month later, after I said it to an friend, I had increased lags with literally anything I was doing. After some days of research (because I didn't pay that much attention to it at first), I could pin down the cause to my YouTube tab in my browser (because I listen to 24/7 music livestreams). And I was like:
Me: "I bet this is because of cryptominer. I bet this is because of cryptominer."
Guess what. About two weeks later YouTube confessed. Cryptominer ads were possible.
I wonder how much money these companies made...4 -
Dear customer,
as our services are completely free and we do not get paid for working, we beg you to understand, that there are some things you have to tolerate.
1. We are DEFINITELY not going to work 24/7 for you and answer immediately anytime. Only because it's 3pm in your country doesn't mean it's 3pm in our country!
2. We will NOT waste any time figuring out your gibberish and translate your language to our language or whatever, you have to be able to understand English anyways because our website and rules and everything is English!
3. Speaking of rules, READ THEM, I'm sick of explaining to you why you are banned, what do you think FAQs are made for?!
4. STOP SPAMMING AND TAGGING ME FFS. First we have a support chat so you can leave a message there and somebody will read it eventually AND SECONDLY I'M NOT THE ONLY SUPPORTER SO STOP BUGGING ME.
5. READ THE FUCKING MESSAGES I WRITE!
geez.. I just lost it for a second... okay.. gotta go now, I got 20 new messages since I started writing this rant.6 -
Hey guys! I made a sort of parody website as a project for my university and I would really love to get some critisism!
Here it is:
https://shuily.github.io/team-lime/...
Note that it's not perfect, has some dead links and is overall still under construction, but if you don't like the UI, User Experience or some other feature, please let me know!
I'm sorry if this isn't the place to pester for help, but I've literally got no one to ask (who knows his shit) for opinions...12 -
😩 That moment when you finish a project (part), close browser tabs close tons of terminal windows, quit a giant ide.. and you realize that you forgot a thing.. 😩12
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That sick feeling you get when you realise you could have been insanely rich and retired today if you had only invested in bitcoin early 🤢😭
1BTC reaches $10,993 AUD🤑🤑🤑7 -
Client: "Help me I can't find my programs"
Me: "Have you installed them right?"
Client: "Yes, I have"
Basically I spent an hour explaining him that dragging an installer from the download folder to program folder isn't actually installing...6 -
Since I started caring about privacy so much my mom thinks that I have something to hide.
Hell yeah I have.6 -
I read an interesting article on internet.
Thought my friend would like it and sent a link to him.
-_-
I will never send anything to him again.6 -
I arrived at 8am sharp today, SHARP, I usually arrive 2-3min earlier, so I can start with my actual work at 8am sharp, but traffic was rough and my scooter wouldn't turn on, so I wasn't able to.
Suddenly my boss calls me into his office, being all like "you are late everyday, you won't start work until 5 after 8 yadayada". Wtf?? You know I have a clock on my desk and I always check the clock when I'm arriving at work? (He has security cameras everywhere, so he can actually see me check the clock every morning). This morning I arrived at 8am sharp and the only reason why I started with work late is because he thought it's necessary to remind me to be at work in time. Now he expects me to start with work 5min early everyday, fuck off!20 -
Dev lead on another team: Ok we can build that API for the mobile apps, we'll generate everything, generate printable images for the labels, persist it all and do all the relevant lookups and checks. Do you need an SLA?
Director: Yes, 9ms
*silence*
Lead: Sorry .... 9ms?
Director: yeah, its a must have
Lead: ... the speed of light wouldn't even let us transmit it that fast18 -
My wife left to pick up our oldest kid from school and to later buy her outfits to start ballet.
I work from home, but am still on work hours. I sit on the couch next to our baby that is sleeping.
my wife when she leaves: look, she's asleep, just bring your laptop here and try to work.
me: ok I will
(10 minutes later)
me: ok I'll get the laptop now
me: *get up, pick the laptop, sit down again*
baby: wakes the fuck up
I swear to god this thing has fucking movement sensors.2 -
If your site asks me to log in and doesn't implement OAuth with Google or at the very least Facebook then go fuck yourself.
I have enough usernames and passwords in my head, I don't want more.10 -
Guy using VPN:
why would anybody use tor unless he hides something?
Me (using Tor):
why would anyone use VPN unless he hides something?
In my opinion there is no difference in using Tor than in using VPN, it's all about privacy. I would consider Tor as an free alternative for your everyday privacy needs, if you can't afford VPN, or am I wrong?22 -
My special edition $130 mouse finally arrived. It takes it's place as the most pretencious thing I own20
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ooooo managers have sent me a meeting for a solo standup with them on monday, i'm shakin' in my boots!
they're probably angry i already worked 50+ hours this week and took today off at short notice yesterday
clowns. 🤡6 -
I was just testing the Postfix server on one of my mailers, for the hell of it.. EHLO, STARTTLS, all good. Then comes the mail submission part.
MAIL FROM test@nixmagic.com
Connection closed by foreign host.
Right after I say mail from, it just closes the connection! Is it just me or does this feel like the server says to me "fuck off"? :')18 -
Sitting in an "Advanced Python" course (paid by my employer), I kicked something under my desk. I hope those guys know Python better than they know electrical security measures...6
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Have children and build a house. You will forget what you enjoyed doing in your free time. Because you will not have any more!
P. S. I could have attached my github activity graph instead, but that is even more embarrassing 😭7 -
"It's sad to think that some people crave a commute because it's the only time during the day they have to themselves." 👀8
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THIS APP IS WHAT I CALL PERFECT.
Must-Have App!!!!
I didn't know you can have a terminal on your fucking phone!!!!17 -
Just got a whiteboard as a present from my gf. Decided to use to for flowchart, but I literally never made a flowchart. This...this doesn't seem right. Anyone got any experience with it? Where could I learn and are they actually useful?5
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| Me and my team presenting an half-assed AI project to our lecturer.
Note that the algorithm doesn't work and we have a placeholder |
Lecturer after looking only at the UI: The project looks very good, I believe we are done here.
Team member: Don't you want to check the code?
Me: *trying to choke him without anyone noticing*
Lecturer: No need.
Lives were saved that day.3 -
Hey guys!
Been away for some time. Didn't have anything to tell tbh - until today.
As you may remember I started a new apprenticeship at big (and super cool) company. We develop software for various platforms.
I'm currently working on a plugin displaying some weatherdata. This plugin is supposed to be in 2 of our products. One is pretty nice but a pain in the ass to compile. The second one is a pure WTF. It's a web app with approximately half the functionality but 5x loading time (without demo data!) of the other product.
Well, today I learned why we have this loading time. They use I don't know how much different js frameworks and libraries for every single simple task. "It's easy and Facebook does it too. Besides that why are there frameworks if you could do it native?" HMMM LET ME GUESS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE FUCKING LAZY!?
Why do you need MULTIPLE frameworks for a simple web display!?3 -
The main reason I want to be an app developer is so that I can enable dark themes by default. That way people can see for themselves and the dark side can take over!3
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Windows: No internet connection.
Me: Runs troubleshooter.
Windows: Problem found and resolved: Default Gateway Server is not available
Me: Wait.. since when can windows fix user input?!
Windows: Still no internet connection4 -
When will I fuckin learn that
a) customers lie
b) customers are sloppy
c) customers are wrong
d) customers do not do their work (properly)
e) customers want us to do their (dirty) work
f) possibly all of the freakinly above?! + khm....
They will fuckin aaaalwaaaays say sth is not working after the update..
And I will alwaaaays assume I fucked up something..even if I didn't touch that part of the code/data..
And almost aaaaalways it turns out that the bug they complain about is how the system worked (or didn't work) before the update and/or some fuckup from their side..
Anyhow, I rushed over, grabbed the files went testing in dev..wtf, output is different, mine is ok, theirs is..wtf is that shit?!
Transfer newly built dll to test..same shit as on prod..wtf?! How?!
I assumed they have thing A correctly linked to thing B.. ofc thing A was linked to thing C in their case and in another case (our test) to correct thing B..
I got chillies when grabbing files, that
I should have tripple checked that they didn't fuck up something on the link part, but I just assumed they know what they were doing & that they checked they linked correct files with correct content already, before being pissy that the update fucked up things.. riiiight!! :/
I wanted to find solutions to this fuckup asap so I disregarded my gut feeling..yet again!! Fuuuck!
I've spent too much time trying to find ways to fix a bug that wasn't even a real bug to begin with.. :/
Fuuuuuck!!
So yeah, always treat the customers like they are 3yrs old & have no clue what they are doing & check exactly wtf they were indeed trying to do..it will save you time & nerves..
And note to self: reread this shit daily!! And imprint it in your brain that everything is not always your fault!!11 -
That moment when you have refactored so much shit, then really broken the project, but can't see yourself doing a git revert because you had invested so much time and know ultimately it *needs* these changes...
Thank god I fixed it! 😌3 -
The only documented case that “have you tried turning it off and in again” is confirmed not to work8
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If you don't feel good enough with your programming skills, keep practicing but don't be sad, there are dogs all around the world that love you3
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A friend actually asked me this..
He is building an android app for selling his stuff and haven't used hashs for storing passwords..11 -
Recently I got an E-Mail from PayPal.de with the headline "Your account gets limited". Fun Fact: I don't have a PayPal account.
This Mail got me curious though, as it couldn't be a phishing mail, since I don't have a PayPal account in the first place, so I opened the e-mail just to get greeted by pure emptiness. It was completely empty. I thought to myself "oh no, is this some sort of new trick? Did I get infected by some sort of a weird hacky backdoor trojan already?!"
Name: PayPal.de
Original E-mail Address: NULL (never seen this before)
I then realized, that Thunderbird blocked the only content from this mail: a clickable image.
This is getting even more confusing the longer I examine this unique mail. The image is showing me a domain from a site completely unrelated from PayPal, so it was obviously no phishing, but I didn't trust this clickable image, so I looked up its hidden link to find an even more confusing redirection to not a picture upload site like the image suggests, but to a game key reselling site instead, like wtf? What was the whole point of this whole e-mail? Was this a weird try to make advertisements for more than one website? It wasn't even a ref-link or something like that. It was just weird, iunno.8 -
This rant has been one that I've been wanting to rant about for a while now. Me being drunk as fuck right now (mind, stay awake!) doesn't really help, but meh.
At least Wanblows was able to install its "features" properly... Except it wasn't, being the featureful ShitOS it is.
I want to rant about privacy. Not about "nothing to hide, nothing to fear". That's been ranted about plenty by the MIcroshaft-loving folks as well as the privacy-aware opposition. Rather, I'd like to rant about the privacy-concious.
I am a privacy-concious-person, with his current status quo being that he doesn't yet know a privacy-concious solution to every data-intrusive "common solution" out there. So I tend to value privacy next to De Lijn while sharing location data to Google with Google Maps. Point is, I do not know privacy-concious solutions to everything out there yet. So I use the convenient over the privacy-aware.
(after review while drunk I was unable to make sense of this)
In the privacy-aware circles I tend to see that it seems to be black and white. You share your data with Google, yet you oppose data collection by local institutes? WRONG!!! YOU MUST BE A TINFOIL HAT!!!
No, seriously I don't want to share my data with Google. Just that they're the only realtime navigation platform with decent UI out there that I know of right now.
Privacy isn't all black and white here. I block any intrusion that I'm able to, anything else I abide to, while awaiting a good alternative that does respect my privacy which I would gladly use instead. That does not imply that "I have nothing to hide". I do, and I have a lot to hide.
So that makes up the black and white nature of privacy, which is a fallacy. Another one is the whole idea of "I have nothing to hide" to begin with.
If you have nothing to hide, would you be comfortable with sharing your location data (IP address, habits, common trends, etc) with me? To share your information with me, to have your contacts share your info with me, without your consent? Of course you wouldn't. But that's what's happening right now.2 -
Confession: I'm launching a major project for a client this time next week. It's some of the worst code I've ever written in my entire life. It's beyond awful, but I have no choice. It's sure going to be fun fixing it for the next 2 weeks post launch.8
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Hey guys.
Sorry for the absence.
So... Lately I've been working in shifts, doing extra hours and stuff... And today, Saturday I went to work for nothing... My boss fucked me just to make me go to work, when there isn't much work to be done...
Btw, I have a burn out for more than two years because I had to work and study and sleep for 4 hours a night, for months.... (check my profile for more info).
Today I had enough
Almost got killed while driving... felt asleep.
I'm saturated.
Monday I'll talk to the owner of the company
and If I don't like what I ear I'm making several complaints:
- One for the organization that protects workers
- One for the work court (we have that In Portugal)
- And one criminal complaint... After all they fucked my health, my life and are putting my life in danger just because...
Lets see how it goes...
Better part... If I make any of the complaints above they can't fire me, make me work overtime or in unpaid shifts...
Oh, and someone else also made a complaint recently... Governement oficials spent two days this week checking the company accounts and calling workers for confidencial intervews...
So, I guess It's the perfect time to drop the bomb on them.10 -
In another news. COVID-19 continues to ravage certain places of the world. Most notably India (for right now)
Is there a mathematical correlation between this and the decrease of scam calls asking about your social, vehicle warranties, IRS frauds etc?
A friend mentioned that he has not gotten scam calls in a while now, I noticed this as well. I would normally have vendors contact me daily, vendors with shitty practices and poor sounding accents that insist on them having names such as "Joe" or "Steve". This sucks for India since I believe it is a country with absolutely beautiful cultural heritage and good people. But man, the decrease in scam calls from there is outstanding now.6 -
You know u have no life when you get a call, you're all excited about who's it going to be...
"oooh an unknown number!"
*picks up*
"who's this?"
... *automated voice* "This is apple calling you for your apple verification code... your code is..."
And u realize u have ur computer on which u need to enter your code because u tried to login 2 minutes ago...2 -
They ask me how i can stare at a screen for 6h and go to sleep right away. They say it makes them unable to sleep after that time.
I say EMBRACE THE POWER OF F.LUX1 -
I can only imagine what goes through clients’ tiny brains. Do they really think: “oh I know what will get shit done, insult the developer, his work, and demand things be fixed while saying the whole system is broken even though they have multiple times in the past demonstrated that it was either me using it wrong or an extremely quick and simple fix. I also have a problem with a few listed items in particular not the whole system, but I’m gonna insult everything.”
Fucking rude fucks! -
Long story short a guy texted me on Xing, he had an interesting idea, I joined in and now we are founding a startup.
Short story long, a guy texted me on Xing. I usually don't give a fuck because there always just fucktards that want to offer me modern enslavement. No thanks you lifeless greedy hamsters! (no offense) This time was different though. It was not the usual kind of words and the idea sounded pretty awesome. So I gave it a try.
We met in a Café and talked about the idea and about my role in it. It went pretty well and we basically had a nice little chat, coffee and cake.
I was still not convinced. It sounded to good to be true. Why would something like this ever happen to me? You know that kind of feeling. It was like "Hopefully I'm not selling my soul to the devil now."
We now work on the project, already have 5 customers and are a step before the first financial investment. I'm pretty amazed how that turned out!
Now to disappoint you a bit more (or maybe to give you hope?) All I've worked so far (except that one little one-year internship) happend by, me talking to someone that had a job, me being honest about what I want and me rejecting anything that runed my guts inside out. That's it. I never really applied for something. I just get to know the people and with that comes the opportunity. Just be respectful, curious and honest. The others will notice. Chances rise that you'll find something you love todo.4 -
wanted to buy a domain, I loaded the url to check if it was available. it redirected me to another domain, where the only content was a bible quote.4
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Getting the corporate hard sell - after I gave notice at my job I've had my skip level manager and then _his_ boss offer me changes to stay. It's messing with my head!
People seem to be crawling out of the woodwork to get me to stay and it feels a lot like this is how one gets into corporate politics... but I swear almost none of these people cared about me before. Make it make sense!8 -
Site usage has dropped off a cliff since this started, I'm seeing comments every other day about something else breaking, or which devRant alternatives is best. Seen as I'm never going to have enough ++ I've had to resort to inspecting the avatar builder and fiddling around with the image source to add all the stuff I want.
Also, why is there no tabby coloured cat option?66 -
1. I'm sick with a cold. I'm dying.
2. You know, it feels like some objects' destiny is bound to mine. Like this woolen shawl that over 15 years ago I used to use to keep my head warm in the heavy snow, then forgot it existed and now it resurfaced as I was talking to mom about my head being cold while having the cold.
3. If things go well, this shawl will come with me on my next trip. That is, if this cold doesn't make a stop in afterlife.
**achoo**18 -
Company: Hi mordax, your profile shows you have an impressive background -
Me: Oh!
Company: So I'd like to extend an invitation-
Me: Oh!!! (Interview!!)
Company: - to a Women in Tech(™) event hosted by the company.
Me: Oh.1 -
Yet another bullshit app to cure your problems that have taken place by not talking to people. No app can give you the comfort equal to talking to a person that cares about you can give. Go talk to some real people ffs.3
-
Meet today.... Fetlang
---
lick Bob's cock
lick Duke's left nipple one million times
while Ada is submissive to Duke
make slave scream Ada's name
Have Charlie spank himself
Have Ada lick his tight little ass
Have Bob lick Charlie's tight little ass, as well
make Ada moan Bob's name
make Bob moan Charlie's name
---
Never felt so dirty after calculating the fibonacci sequence...
https://github.com/Property404/...
"Fetlang is a statically typed, procedural, esoteric programming language and reference implementation. It is designed such that source code looks like poorly written fetish erotica."8 -
On a scale of 1-10, how lazy are you when it comes to prototype code?
Me, well I'm a 'fuck it lets just wildcard anything that is a child of a GLib objects'
Don't be like me kids...
EDIT: Yes i know it should have been an override void4 -
Something I learned the hard way: the steak emoji is 4 bytes, whereas a lot of the commonly used emojis are only 3 bytes.20
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I hate social media because I have to keep it in one way or the other (don't ask)
As such, I have to deal with multiple bullshit that I read from people.
The trust fund baby with a daddy selected job posting images on him on Cancun "lIfe Is To Be EnjOyeD, go AhEaD trAvEl" <--- bitch I work. I am happy that you enjoy shit but fuck me man have some sense of reality.
Many more shit like that, plus, it is a pandemic fuckhead, chill the fuck out.
The retarded veteran that continues to cry about a football player kneeling on a football match.....even though he was told by a fucking ex Special Forces to take a knee in peaceful protest.
Mexican adults talking about American politics.....dude you live in FUCKING MEXICO your fucking president is a national MEME
the list continues, I hate social media.19 -
Mixing lazy loading with event-based code == events won't be handled because the class won't subscribe to events until it's initialized hours after startup
Thank you, my dear lazy-loading lover, who keeps introducing hard-to-spot bugs everywhere. I wish your hand was as lazy as your code, that would have saved hours of debugging time. -
If you think about it, devRant was also at a stage once when you'd describe it as "it is like facebook but for..." app. Hmm.4
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!rant
I’m a backend - spaghetti - developer, and today i took the biggest mindfuck in my life when i found out that it’s possible to have functional mockups... at first glance i tought that i’ve only received a screenshot collection of what the designer did... guess what... i was able to click lè buttons and go trough the whole application flow.
Thanks Adobe for xD ...
I should get a freakin designer job.4 -
Scrum CSM course: it's good to accept that we can't be perfect.
Also CSM course (1): if it's not followed perfectly it's not scrum
Also CSM course (2): scrum won't work in your team unless the whole organization adopts it
CSM course provider after cert: $1k CSM cert isn't enough to practice Scrum responsibly12 -
Any one else have a problem buying gadgets they don't need? I just bought an Amazon Echo and not entirely sure what to do with it. I also have about 6 waiting to be shipped from kickstarters9
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Rant from a previous gig I just remembered that reignited my fury lol
Suddenly, CSV exports became massively critical to our product's success. "They were always part of the plan, if we don't have them the product is a failure". Plot twist, they were NOT always part of the plan. And our backend is not at all designed for querying the combinations of data you're asking for.
Nevermind we've been entirely focused these last few months on making the new user experience as slick as possible because "our customers want cake, not meat and potatoes". Forget the fact that, in order to meet the deadlines, my team coupled the backend a little too much with the needs of the frontend because otherwise integrations took too long. We NEED fucking CSV exports of everything you can fucking imagine.
No. Fuck you. If you want it, it's gonna take at least 2 engineers and a month, and according to you we only have a few weeks of runway. No, I'm not compromising jack shit, this is the reality we live in. This is going to go nuclear in production if we don't do it right. Either give us the month and bankrupt the company, or fucking drop it.
Or...you could go cry to the frontend team for solutions. And convince them to page through ALL of the data and generate CSVs in the fucking browser. Sure, it sort of works in QA with the miniscule amount of data we have there, but how'd that work out for you in prod?
Jesus fucking christ why are you people such incompetent morons, and how the fuck did you become executives??2 -
WE TEST ON THE STAGING SITE. I DON'T BUST MY ASS WITH A SEPARATE STAGING API AND HTTPS://STAGING.WHATEVERTHEFUCKYOUWANTOBUILD.COM/..., SO THAT YOU CAN MESSAGE ME THAT NOTHING IS WORKING. THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ON THE STAGING SITE. IF I HAVE TO REMIND YOU AGAIN, I AM NEVER TALKING TO A NON TECHNICAL PERSON AGAIN
THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME. ITS LITERALLY LIKE A BROKEN RECORD SO WHY DO I EXPECT ANYTHING TO CHANGE, EVERY CLIENT IS THE SAME, EVERY TIME, GOD I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP4 -
You guys remember that awful Java class that I'm taking at uni? Mentioned in this rant here: (https://devrant.com/rants/1461472/...).
Well we had an assignment to make a program that accepted any amount of numbers from a user and add the unique ones to an array (so if 2 was already entered, it would not be added to the array a second time), and then print the array out backwards. Simple as fuck right?
I checked my grade from the assignment I turned in and see that I only received 10 out of 50 points. Why?
"Program compiles and works with expected output. Partial credit for using ArrayList instead of array".
Uhm.. Partial credit is 10 out of 50?? And what the hell? Yeah okay let me go make this stupid program that involves an array with an unknown length and see how fucking perfect it works out for me.
Fuck you for docking my grade because I made a program that was sensible.
Fucking dickhead. -
> Drinking much because it's a hot day.
> Have to go to the toilet
> Cleaner is cleaning the toilets so nobody can go.
Every fucking time gaaaarh2 -
Step 1. Have no dissertation project.
Step 2. Wait for the last 3 hours till the deadline to come up with an idea.
Step 3. Realise that your just-thought-up project idea is something companies like Google and Amazon are still trying to figure out. But there is no time left.
Step 4: Approach your supervisor with the words "Imagine the possibilities". They respond with "Imagine the difficulty".
Step 5: They sign on it regardless since they are curious to see you fuck up with style, also you are too much in love with your idea already, and refuse to drop it.
Step 6: fml4 -
This log says way too much about me as a person.
Happy new year devRant! May the bugs be few and the clients plenty3 -
Just had an interview, but since I am a smart ass I decide that half an hour notice before the interview is OK after working the whole day with queues, docker & php multithreading, so we start an interview over Skype and my persona was able to duck up how simple joins work as well as function which is supposed to return the sum of even numbers between 2 and provided argument... I was off by 2..
Lesson learned never get in an interview after a whole day of mindfuckery .. Never -
Do you wanna play a game?
Cloud Storage:
GlusterFS
Ceph
HekaFS
LizardFS
OrangeFS
GridFS
XtreemFS
WeedFS (CHMODing into 420 fam)6 -
Microsoft, do you even care what your shitty updates are doing or have you just given up?
Not only did the update start immediately after waking up from standby, it also had to brighten up my day by deleting everything afterwards.
Turns out the anniversary update gets confused by dual boot systems and then just deletes all partitions. And apparently they didn't manage to fix this for months now.
Can't wait for the coming "Creator's update", always wanted to see how an exploding PC looks.1 -
!rant // deprecated but who cares
I just wanted to write down something i realized. I realized that that I stopped growing as an individual a while ago.
Being a student put me in constant stress situations. I had to do things quickly. Lern things fast, drop things I don't understand immediately, move on, and repeat. I think this corrupted me, turning learning into something that it's not supposed to be. Even making me reject other people's opinions sometimes, which disgusts me every time I think back to it.
When I started programming I'd always try to read the code, until i completely understood what exactly this code was doing. Something I stopped doing a while ago because of the mentioned time constraints.
But today I got the hit by the consequences (German: Ich hab Retourkutsche abbekommen)
I was implementing an algorithm today, while my partner was writing the main program, which acted as indirect test cases. And the errors were discovered one after another because of my misinterpretation. Or Simply put, my lack of knowledge. Because it was already late, we stopped soon afterwards but I wanted to solve this problem by tomorrow. I really wanted to get my head around this algorithm, so that i could solve it with confidence. After getting my head smoking I felt something I haven't in a while: the feeling of achieving something. Making me finally realize not only how the algorithm was actually meant to work but it also made me again realize what learning is about.
Use your damn head.
Don't look away from the problem, solve it! Learning is about challenging yourself!
Sorry for stealing away so much of your time. Like i said, i just wanted to write this down. Maybe to burn this into my mind, to keep me on the right track from now on. But I also hope that i could deliver my message to someone that needed it as well.
Also it's late and i should have gone to sleep long time ago. 😴😵
I just hope my grammar didn't suffer because I'd that -
Before you fire me and delete me as admin from managing your website, also be sure to check on and have me transfer to you the third-party stuff, like Cloudflare or Mailchimp. Remember how I had to set these up on my own on your behalf (because you don't know what you're doing and those alerts would disappear into your unmanaged inbox)? Think first to make sure you have full control over your WHOLE site. You see, what happens when I delete those accounts is no longer my problem once I walk out the door.8
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My coworker just replied to a customer’s out of office email. 😂
“Thank you for letting us know that you will be out of the office” 🤣
The subject of the email is “Re: Automatic reply: Data Export - Items Sold” 🤣🤣🤣 -
Random thought:
I rarely see emojis on devrant and most of the time I see them, they are used in a rather cringe-full way. There are some posts however, which use emojis in a way I like, for example to replace the client's name.
But my favorite emoji is still the shrug emoji, not the Unicode shrug emoji, but the *real* shrug emoji. ¯\_( ツ)_/¯10 -
CppCon2017 is COMING guys!! All these crazy speakers and conference! I won't say their names because they are too many x) But... FUCK ! That's the only moment I wish I lived in USA... No streaming, can't go... Only one thing to do, wait the upload on YouTube...
When I see people hyped about GoT or whatever... Guys this is the REAL HYPE!!!4 -
I just went to SO to browse questions and learn something or help someone...
And then...
THE FREAKING PRINTSCREEN OF IDE
INSTEAD OF COPYING THE CODE
And you know what's worse?
There was also a PHOTO of the output from the console.2 -
Code = play games
Watch a tutorial = watch a movie
Read docs = read a novel
So I end up being scolded for never studying for my academics and just having fun all the time -
Since there is Scrum i am programmer , tester , software engineer , networking guy and application manager. Thank you Scrum didnt know that before. And i have no idea what i am doing right now ....2
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Traceback (most recent call last):
File "me.py", line 1, in <module>
AttributeError: 'Dave_Elec' object has no attribute 'social'1 -
Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!
(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)1 -
This is the story of the API documentation.
Which btw I couldn't find on the producent's website anywhere. I had the pdf shared with me by a coworker.
I knew the api was fucked up the moment I looked at endpoint documentation.
GET params? WHERE, ORDERBY etc. Literally make a SQL select in a GET request.
Returned stuff? The whole thing. Not some DTO, you literally get everything you can get.
Eg if you get IP in your response, you get it in several formats: dotted form, as hex, and as int. In 3 different json fields.
Oh, and regarding IP - one would imagine you can use masks or prefixes for subnets, right? Nope. The only param you can use there is the subnet size. So you have to calculate the power of 2 every time you want to make a request.
That's from the endpoint documentation. But what about some general info on the API, before all that?
As I was looking for something, I decided to read that intro and general info about the API.
Okay, so there was a change log between API versions. "removed [endpoint which sounds like correct REST design], please use [this generic thing with SQL-like GETs]"... Several of them.
And there was also this sentence which said that the API is not restful, "it's REST-like". <facepalm>
If it was a bad attempt at REST API, I would let it go. But this sentence clearly showed they knew they did everything wrong. And the changelog showed they didn't stop there, they were actively making it worse.1 -
🎶 It must have been a bug,
but its over now-ah-ow...
🎶 I'm not sure what I did...
but I fixed it somehow 🎶4 -
I hate infinitely scrolling pages. There is no way of knowing (or at least, nobody is telling) how far you have to scroll to reach the end. Though I guess the answer is kinda given already; "infinitely". Fuck, I'll be scrolling for a while, then.11
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I made a thing.
I then turned it into a CodeSandbox template so other people could make the thing.
I then turned it into an npm package.
The thing is a cat clock generator.
https://codesandbox.io/embed/...
https://npmjs.com/package/...3 -
I really like how there is something new everyday that you can do to protect your privacy even more 😄3
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Boss of the company I'm working in flew in from Morroco to Paris to discuss what to do about GDPR (yeah today). One of the sysadmin was fired last month and the other barely knows anything. Since I work on system administration as an intern I was expecting some serious work. The meeting with the tech team went on for two hours (which I didn't attend). At the end of it, I went to the only guy in the office who speaks English and asked him, "Hey, so what are we doing about GDPR?".
He replies, "Well, the boss just decided that we're not going to tell the auditors about our offices in two other countries (which is outside Europe and hosts most of the servers)".2 -
devRant needs some sort of Offspring-of-Clippy tool.
"It looks like you're posting a sort-of-humorous-the-first-time joke or meme. Have you bothered to scroll more than twice to see if this dead horse has, indeed, been well flogged?" 😜 -
Wanted to have Samsung Dex for work, so I can run office on it and kick windows from my dual boot laptop.
Dex pad was on sale.
Bought it.
Brought it to work.
Work monitor doesn't have hdmi.
...
fuck. <.<
I'll ask the technician later if he either has a monitor flying around he doesn't need or an adapter or something.1 -
Who has too much time on their hands and wants a throwaway project? :)
Say there are some poll results. Like this one. Each item has xx.yy% of all the votes. The task would be to come up with an algorythm that would read in those results and make a few predictments on how many participants were in this poll :)
I don't need it, I just came up with it and thought it might be a fun project for someone. I know I'd go for it if I had free time on my hands :)
P.S. if you're up for it, sharing a solution code is more than welcome!20 -
Either my server is hacked or I fucked something up two days ago without knowing, I suddenly start receiving a dms file when I try access my domain or either by IP, file name is: valroSG0.dms
Do I need to be worried :S10 -
Yahoo finance shut down all their historic data uRL and im out of options. No API or packeges works. I have a report to pass up on tuesday for my ViVa and this is shit. Fuck. My months of work just wasted.7
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I want to access a webpage on a non-standard port.
On desktop, I can override port bans for Chromium-based browsers and Firefox.
On Android, I FUCKING CAN'T, FIREFOX' CONFIG VALUE USED ON DESKTOP DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ON ANDROID, ANY OTHER BROWSER ALSO DOESN'T HAVE ANY CONFIG FOR THIS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Site's on port 21 because that's one of my school firewall's few allowed outbound ports, and I couldn't use 80/443 since a webpage is already running there.11 -
Hetzner. Very cheap no nagging, no support bullshit, Lots of options, Just does what it does.
Did I mention their pricing?6 -
Fucking spam
Useless pieces of shit
Targeting my dad, fools, he has me 🤡
I'm gonna flood you with fake emails and passwords
So much that you will stop spamming and then I'll continue a little bit, just to be safe
Fucking bastards1 -
So apparently Docker exposes all the forwarded ports on *all* the interfaces, making all running containers available to the entire internet BY DEFAULT.
I have a question:
WHY???10 -
Just lost hours of work because the winforms designer decided to send half my elements to (11, -8000) and resize others to (0,0). No matter what I did, there was no moving them back. And every change I made was reverted by some unknown mechanism.
Thankfully, I still have the user controls I built. But I still have to rewire 3k lines worth of form events.3 -
What? You've been messaging me for days? I'm sorry. I got a new phone; it extremely experimental, as it's using linux and not android or iOS. I guess I just haven't gotten your messages.
The pine phone gives be the best excuse I've had in years for ignoring people!
For the record though, I *have* been getting all their calls and messages since switching to Postmarket.2 -
Damn specs! Why do you have to change as the project goes on?!! Every project seems too easy at first.
-
Forgive me for I have sinned.
I doubted software from India could be as bad as you always hear ... I was proven wrong ... now I have to take the consequences ... an untested, Indian Web-API9 -
Once I wrote a shell script to solve a problem. Then I thought "now I have to rewrite it in a REAL language". So I did it in Go. But then I got bored and left it to rot in my gh. I picked it up again today and made another rewrite, but now in node. What the actual fuck4
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Guys! Let’s have a contest.
I need a new name for a new journal for my new thoughts. Deep thoughts.
Person who best chooses a name that is fitting (maybe nerdy too) gets a ++ and a screenshot of my handwriting.17 -
So... I let people around me who see me programing assume what they want to about my abilities, so when they asked if I could hack I decided to play a joke. I said "give me your phone and I'll show you your files and make your phone display a white for a few minutes" (phone was an Android with no lock on it), I do all that as I had an app that closed itself already built for other reasons... They said "cool, now hack that guys Facebook" .... people are gullible...
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>"rm -rf ~/"
>Wonder what the exact name of the file I'm deleting is
>*presses tab*
>*presses enter multiple times*
>accidentally presses "enter" when the choices are finished
>delete entire home directory
>fuck.1 -
What! Now we have a terminal made with electron! https://hyper.is/ electron? Seriously a tool which is supposed to be the fastest and lightest thing on your system built with the most bloated framework. Damn..
And here is the most useless plugin. https://hyper.is/#hyperpower7 -
I have two managers outside of the bathroom having an impromptu meeting while I'm blowing it up.
...this is what causes psychological complexes.1 -
Fucking damn! This program is so poorly built that it's racking up terrible amounts of technical debt. This should be fucking easier than this, but because of how closely coupled everything is I'm now having to suffer through this ungodly beast of code.
I was aiming for a nice top down model where things communicated straight down, but with each additional feature requested by my PM, there are things that are growing increasingly more difficult to build around.
I could rebuild the entire thing, but this is the culmination of 8 months of work!
GOD KILL ME PLEASEEE -
anyone want to review my app? preferably ones with android experience, I want to learn how to improve it and make it as good as possible. message @calmyourtities if you'd like to help a newbie with android :)2
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Swapped workplaces as the previous one wanted to get rid of me, the new one so far feels even worse.
Teammates are too busy to help, codebase makes spaghetti code look like a compliment (and it takes forever to compile) and my manager somehow believes I’m super man, supposed to finish everything faster than speed of light.
I’m miserable.2 -
Pretty sure that the code doesn't work on the first run, so I thought why not debug it now? but then when am I actually gonna run it...
-
Disclaimer!!!
Do at your own risk.
-----------------------------------
- Take a strong magnet, like a neodymium magnet.
- Hold it in your hand.
- Move your hand across a Macbook 15"'s keyboard. Say from left to right or vice versa. Almost touching they keys.
You'll see the screen dimming. If you just hold it there for a little longer, it'll lock your macbook. It's funny, but I am not sure if it's doing some damage to hardware.8 -
Bought a nice widescreen monitor from Samsung through B&H Photo. 2 weeks later it wouldn't turn on. Shipped it in thrice for repairs and on the third time Samsung exchanged it for a new one. 7 days later the new one won't turn on. Same symptoms. The seller's money-back guarantee has expired, of course. No idea if Samsung will just give me the original value in cash so I can find another one from another manufacturer who knows how to make monitors. I'll probably just get ripped off. Time to die?21
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Today we had an exam in college where we were expected to code the new facebook from scratch in one hour and fifteen minutes2
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It was when i was 4th grade. We had windows 95 computers in school. I used tk do assignments on them and submitted with a floppy disk. Yeah, copy paste started there...
-
Okay, this is quite hard to explain properly, but I'm actually scared of my personal future.
In about a year, I finish school and I don't have a straight plan of what to do next. I want to work independently, preferably as a game dev, but I imagine that to be a hard task. I have thought of doing a bachelor's degree in game development, but the university I prefer to go to costs 20k€, which is a huge sum and I don't even know whether it would be actually worth it. The university states that 20% of all their graduated students work independently afterwards and they even offer you a flexible "loan" (not sure if it's the right term) you can pay off while you start working, but I fear I won't be able to pay it back, I cannot imagine making this much money any time soon after I start working independently as game dev. Additionally I fear I won't be able to keep my motivation up, since I struggle doing so already, on the other hand my lack of motivation could be caused by this toxic environment I live in.
I've also considered doing freelancing, but when I'm scrolling through the requests made, I never find something I am experienced in, I don't know what request is best to get started with freelancing.
I just don't know what to do in the future and I'm scared and considering to go to this university is probably pretty stupid already and I consider it as me ranting myself, because of my nonexisting self-esteem. So I don't know what to expect from this post, I just needed to share.1 -
User: "help pls! Cant login! Works on my notebook but not on the clients"
Me: "Sure. Have you tried entering your username and password?"
*finally resets password. Problem solved*
ASSHOLE -
Thinking about a doing a small YouTube series about how I would have done specific failed or succeeding pieces of tech, my first would be in windows mobile...
Anyone else able to think of any subjects I could cover?3 -
Starts search and replace.
Trys to replace a type in the whole Project.
Syntax Check: lol no, apparently everything is broken now, good job
(literally my whole project was marked red)
Reverts changes
(project still marked red)
Syntax Check: lol what? Your code already looked like shit before, won't let you compile this.
It was a bug which breaks the syntax check after big replace requests. Had to start a new project and copy my code step for step, so it didn't break again. However I've forgotten to replace the type before I copy...
Another story regarding this shit:
Renames Variable
IDE: oh, let me help you by replacing all old var names with the new one
Agrees
IDE: oh shoot, didn't know it could break things
Wants to revert
IDE: did you think I would go through this mess again?! Do it yourself!3 -
WTF... it works half the time and fails the other half.. is it planned just to drive me mad?! uuhhh..3
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It feels so great to check a box from your to-do list... even if it's as little as creating the project file.1
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I failed at university, spent too long there without ever graduating. I learned a lot through self-study, though. The only company I worked at was an arrangement with a friend whose company needed people, so I stepped in, but eventually I deserted the job after the company went out of money and I went two months straight working without getting paid. Now I feel apprehensive of putting that job experience in my resume because I didn't come out of it in good terms with the company. I have many unfinished projects but keep them private on GitHub because I feel like the code is too bad to show off. How do I even get a job, now? Should I just quit the industry altogether? Aaaaaaaaaaaaa
Right now I'm just self-studying some things I had wanted to do since college (namely computer graphics and trying to build a game engine) but never actually got to study formally because I kept failing at the prerequisite courses because I always kept distracting myself from my studies and just not putting enough effort. Anyway, I'm willing to listen to your advice and your judgment alike. I feel somewhat confident that I can actually do a good job, but I also don't feel confident enough to apply for jobs since I always feel like my skills are lacking. I know about impostor syndrome, but at the core of it is the matter: is this impostor's syndrome, or am I in fact *actually* consistently bad and incompetent? Rationally speaking I tend to feel like the latter, yet I know the only thing I can do is to try and be better. I guess.
Anyway, completely unstructured thing, just me venting off my frustration and desperation in a place where at least people will read it and possibly offer some advice. Thank you for reading this far.4 -
!dev
So my (public) health insurance should cover a test I'd like to make. But if I don't want to call a bunch of clinics every week for months only to get an appointment a year later eventually I'll have to pay myself (to get an appointment in a few months instead). -
Run program
Doesn't work
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Open code to look at it again
Dont touch anytghing
0 (zero) modifications
Run again
It works
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh3 -
Our Networks manager just send a mass email to the rest of it stating that some of our Linux servers need to have an antivirus installed.
He mentioned cisco AMP for Linux. Just saw the email like 2 mins ago so i have not researched anything.
Is that a thing that some of you that are more on the networking side and security side would recommend?
Never heard of installing an anti virus on linux which is why i ask and i don't know shit about cisco.10 -
I have some people trying to access to my accounts from far away.
I think my password have been leaked :|
f*ck6 -
This one time I was working for an investment bank and my manager tells me unit tests are good to have feature and we can descope those to meet the deadlines.
What next meeting the acceptance criteria becomes good to Have or delivering the product becomes good to have? -
Fucking kidding me.. why does it stopped suddenly when i had to show it up? today i was working on a project and my client wanted to see how it is going then i packed my stuff and went there to show him then it stopped to working...
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My job isn't stressful all the time. Sometimes I'm in meetings and I'm just bored. And sometimes I have a coke to drink. That's pretty nice.
But right now my app is breaking and I don't know why. It either corrupts the heap sometimes or breaks the execution engine sometimes or attempts to write pointers I don't control into protected memory sometimes. Can't reliably reproduce them. And every time I try to debug one it causes the other.
But I do have a Coke. -
Some one just asked me to build his site. I don't enjoy building sites. Especialy wordpress... I have never used it but i don't like it. But It could be a fast cash. What do you guys think?7
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I'm finally going on vacation, which is good, but I already know there will be many stupid people writing me endless private messages about them being banned or their server not working correctly BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN SCRIPTS and they will spam me like they usually do although I WRITE THEM I'm out of the office but they don't care since they don't have other things to do than COMPLAINING ALL DAY.
Geez okay, I got to calm down, I'm on vacation, don't want *that* to ruin my mood.
It was stupid to ban all those people for breaking the rules today though, should have waited another week, so guess this one is on me.1 -
Do you people anything about a processor with a firewall?
Because I just saw an episode of Arrow where they were trying to break into such a firewall!1 -
So I am wondering. Am I the only one who finds IBM to be a piece of crap that has slow services? I hate them so much, in that they have added so much time to my work!1
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A follow up.. Changed my monitor... (not better than what I had) was just boared... Then Ibsaw my desktop (Gnome) and wanted to change it to. So i started removing tons of gnome and ubuntu packages including gdm and stuff.. Installes i3. started configuring... installed a dm... Changed my idea and started to install a new distro to start from scratch.. Spent a day like this. have absolutely no reason to do this.1
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Have you tried to look up documentation for some module and find another module that better does it? and this loop continues...
-
Who the twattrumpet invented friday deploy was a good idea? What not who the horsedesecrating dickbadger tought I will have overdue work because this disgraceful human rudiment who has embryonic fluid inside his puffball head instead of brain thinks it is okay tell me sorry man but I forgot to tell you about the bugs you requested for last week. You know what? I will do it but if you dare to disturb me on weekend becausebyou didn't test whenbI told you I will stick your carcass up your ass!!!
-
I have enough up votes in one of my posts to order stickers. But I feel like I am not worth it yet.
Is this normal?
@dfox12 -
Any disposable e-mail address service:
"FIGHT THE SPAM"
"THANK YOU FIGHTING THE SPAM"
"YOU DID GOOD BY FIGHTING SPAM"
The users of disposable e-mail address:
*creates another spam account*
*creates another multiaccount in order to exploit a system*
Companies actually fighting spam:
Now there is even more spam to fight against. (which is not good)
About 2/3 of the accounts created daily on our website are spam accounts. We have to waste our time with this shit instead of actually improving our services. Since we do not track IP-Addresses and there are countless amounts of disposable e-mail domains AND there is still the option to create countless spam e-mail addresses within legit e-mail providers, there is no easy way of stopping this madness.
"Fight the Spam", you could start by deleting your shitty service or at least give us a list of all the domains you're using, srsly. -
Fuck these braindead people who don't include OOB remote installation option or at least a virtual keyboard into installation CDs. What if I don't have one/the one I have is broken? (and no, I can't just go out and buy a new one, okay?)10
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Today, we can edit comments or post upto 5 mins only to maintain the flow.
But would it make sense to be able to amend comments and post anytime and east way to see publicly the history of edits. This will serve the original purpose while correcting cosmetic changes even after 5 mins.
What do you people think?5 -
I don't exactly know... but i'm preety sure that it was more that 12.
reason - someone's final project which had only 1 day left before the deadline. -
Sat here for 30 minutes trying to find an error a client saw that I fixed earlier (mobile error). After going through everything I could think of, it turns out his browser was just caching... Fml1
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I somehow highly doubt the effectiveness of this treatment... if it did work I'm pretty sure we would all have baby faces with the amount of RF signals we're exposed to in a day. Do you think there is any legitimacy to this claim?4
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When you google something you saw in a google ad instead of clicking it and feel badass for outsmarting them...1
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I was about to have a screenshare presentation of a month-long work over Skype...
Hours before the presentation I got bored and upgraded from Xorg to Wayland for some reason the universe doesn't want to disclose...
Tried to call a friend to check if everything is working and the screenshare feature was missing! 😑 I thought Skype fucked up, tried Hangouts, still not working, tried praying to saint Ubuntu to somehow please let it work one time. It did fucking not.
My gosh, 30 minutes before the presentation and I was preparing the whole environment on Windows. I had never felt so stressed in my life! 😰
Investigating after the presentation informed me that screensharing only works on XOrg, not on Wayland.
Worst last-minute decision ever. *#-##-:$;"+3($(!#@/)#9"+(2(#1 -
Something you really should not do:
*adds a new feature*
*build & run*
*See no difference*
Me: "Hmm.. Maybe 1 is not the best test integer, let me pick something higher..."
*build & run*
*INTEGER OVERFLOW EXCEPTION*
Feel free to share your "let me choose anothee test integer"-stories, which gone terribly wrong.1 -
I guess asking my friends for their opinion is part of my workflow and I really shouldn't do, because their reactions tend to be demotivating and frustrating all the time. As if I don't have enough to worry about already.
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After a year-long (or something idk) hiatus, I have returned to devRant! Dusted off the old profile (and updated a bunch of outdated info). I never realized how much I missed this place. Great to be back!3
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I was changing the PEI sheet on my 3D Printer and in the process I manged to also destroy the temperature sensor😭.
I was trying to order a new one and internet went down too. I also have school tomorrow so I need to go to sleep.
😣I need the printer for a thing I have to deliver in 5 days.
Guess I'll have to take the sensor from another bed (hopefully without destroying this one too).
Fffffffuuuuuuuccccckkkkk -
Came into work this week after the holidays and was an email from azure saying unless we redeploy our virtual machines before next week they will do it at midnight utc - which happens to be mid-day here.
No problem I just email our client and schedule a time Friday afternoon where the servers will be unavailable and I'll do it then.
Today (Thursday) azure email and say they are going to just reboot our servers now. I check and the application is not working. Clients start phoning in saying they cant access the system.. -
Really weird number.
Most probably its marketing call from the telecom operator that revolutionized the tele industry in my country by providing free 4G services asking to subscribe to their service.
Sorry, but i can't afford you.. :/
I'll have to let you go..
Thanks for the last 8 months of free services.3 -
I would love to reschedule my whole life to live during the cool night time throughout the summer, but I can't because I don't live alone...
Guess I have to feel like garbage for the next few weeks...2 -
Took few weeks break from coding, social media and stuff like that. And holy cow things have changed. Over 9k new rants here, bunch of new js frameworks, Instagram got some security issues..
I'm just amazed.7 -
If a project's structure is shit, well of course, let's continue using it because "it is known". Doing it any other way "will add complexity".
That I wasted three days making my working code adhere to the clusterfuck of a structure, nevermind that. Let's continue. And yes, colleagues do agree that the structure is shit, though let's improve it ... later.
Or in other words: Suck it up, we always have done it this way. Fuck you and your ill-advised attempts of trying to improve it. -
So I have been recruited to do some IT ish work for a local business. I have been offered a couple of hundred bucks to take a set list of programs off of about 40 pcs. All windows. Sounds like the perfect job for a script, not my specialty. So what might be the best method? Using a batch script to CD to the respective directories and just DEL the folders for the target programs?5
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!rant
New startup - our backend stack is php, js, mysql, mongo & redis
Can you guys recommend nice-to-have internal tools that could make out lifes easier? We’ve been using confluence so far and thinking on grabbing a jira license.
Any advice is helpful 🤪11 -
My most upsetting rejection come from before I got into tech.
I was working in visitor services at a a cultural institution and I was trying to transfer to a different department. A big show was about to open and we were anticipating large crowds. I was tired of the stickup rich people that made of most of our guests. Now, there would plebs would be coming in droves and they would be even more ill behaved.
I didn’t get the job and had to continue on visitor services. It was upsetting because I was trying to save myself from mental stress. I went through months of being verbally demeaned by gross visitors and had physical injuries from working the incessant crowds. Only the seasonal hires were given special gifts when the show ended and I received nothing.
I did reapply for the transfer again when the position reopened a year later. I got the job. The hiring manager admitted that he should have hired me the last time. The girl they hired left after a year because she wanted to go to grad school. They wanted someone who was going to stay longer because training and hiring takes time. -
Today my ping caught me off-guard once again, but I will stop this madness for all eternity! Writing the ultimate ping tool, so I never have to fear high ping ever again.. well I cannot fix my f*cking internet provider, but my ping tool can warn me, even if it detects only the slightest inconsistency!
But first I have to figure out why my tool doesn't output the ping... -
When you have to wake up early to run your builds first or you can wait a day for them fixing jenkins no space left on device...2
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In my company we have some awards that are given to people doing some things for customers and doing it good. There are nominations and so on, this year my friend got one for having good relations with customers, being calm and helping them how he can best. Of course there was written something about his calm, helping others, being patitent (...). But nobody from people that he is helping ever saw him screaming like today before he knew that he will be awarded:
“HOW THE FUCK THOSE IDIOTS CAN BREAK THINGS LIKE THAT, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY”
And he got award for being calm and patient :D4 -
I'm at work. It's been slow recently because our clients don't know what they want.
I just realised there's an itsy bitsy spider on my desk. Or more precisely, on my workstation.
A 2mm-or-so little spider, making a web between my screen and my laptop.
I'll feel bad when I'll be leaving and having to break its web...6 -
This one time I managed to rm -rf my whole prestashop folder with custom modules and work in progress theme, none of which were on github... And I did that on Windows
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16h a day. I was late for a birthday present so I worked on it for as long as I could. It took me 2 months and I was not done in time...
I had eyestrain of death and all this trouble only for a freaking birthday present.
But the present was good, although it was incomplete.2 -
I don't know why people are complaining about windows updates while they can stop the update service from service manager. I did that wile I was using windows.
Moral of the story: I use linux. 😜 -
Instead of using MySQL, I zipped a bunch of json files... It's fast, but definitely not reliable, I was young and stupid, I should finally getting started with mySQL, srsly.2
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TL;DR I just recently started my apprenticeship, it's horrible so far, I want to quit, but don't know what to do next...
Okay, first of all, hey there! My name is Cave and I haven't been on here for a while, so I hope the majority of you is doing rather okay. I'm programming for 6 years now, have some work experience already, since I used to volunteer for a company for half a year, in which I discovered my love for integrations and stuff. These background information will probably be necessary to understand my agony in full extend.
So, okay, this is about my apprenticeship. Generally speaking, I was expecting to work, and to learn something, gaining experience. So far, it only involved me, reading through horrible code, fixing and replacing stuff for them, I didn't learn a thing yet, and we are already a month in.
When I said the code is horrible, well, it is the worst I have ever seen since I started programming. Little documentation - if any -, everywhere you look there is deprecated code, which may or may not been commented out, often loops or simply methods seem to be foreign for them, as the code is cluttered with copy paste code everywhere and on top of that all, the code is slow as heck, like wtf.
I spent my past month with reading their code, trying to understand what most of this nonsense is for, and then just deleting and rewriting it entirely. My code suddenly is only 5% or their size and about 1000 times faster. Did I mention I am new to this programming language yet? That I have absolutely no experience in that programming language? Because well I am new and don't have any experience, yet, I have little to no struggle doing it better.
Okay, so, imagine, you started programming like 20 years ago, you were able to found your own business, you are getting paid a decent amount of money, sounds alright, right? Here comes the twist: you have been neglecting every advancement made in developing software for the past 20 years, yup, that's what it feels like to work here.
At this point I don't even know, like is this normal? Did git, VSCode and co. spoil me? Am I supposed to use ancient software with ancient programming languages to make my life hell? Is programming supposed to be like this? I have no clue, you tell me, I always thought I was doing stuff right.
Well, this company is not using git, infact, they have every of their project in a single folder and deleting it by accident is not that hard, I almost did once, that was scary. I started out working locally, just copying files, so shit like that won't happen, they told me to work directly in the source. They said it's fine, that's why you can see 20 copies of the folder, in the same folder... Yes, right, whatever.
I work using a remote desktop, the server I work on is Windows server 2008, you want to make icons using gimp? Too bad, Gimp doesn't support windows server 2008, I don't think anything does anymore, at least I haven't found anything, lol.
They asked me to integrate Google Maps into their projects, I thought it is gonna be fun, well, turns out their software uses internet explorer 9.. and Google maps api does not support internet explorer 9... I ended up somehow installing CEF3 on that shit and wrote an API for it in JS. Writing the API was actually kind of fun, but integrating it in their software sucked and they told me I will never integrate stuff ever again, since they usually don't do that. I mean, they don't have a Backend as far as I can tell, it looks like stuff directly connects with their database, so I believe them, but you know... I love integrating stuff..
So at this point you might be thinking, then why don't you just quit? Well I would, definitely. I'm lucky that till December I can quit without prior notice, just need a resignation as far as I can tell, but when I quit, what do I do next? Like, I volunteered for a company for half a year and I'd argue I did a good job, but with this apprenticeship it only adds up to about 7 months of actual work experience. Would anybody hire somebody with this much actual work experience? I also consider doing freelancing, making a living out of just integrating stuff, but would people pay for that? And then again, would they hire somebody with this much experience? I don't want to quit without a plan on what to do next, but I have no clue.
Am I just spoiled, is programming really just like that, using ancient tools and stuff? Let me know. Advice is welcomed as well, because I'm at a loss. Thanks for reading.10 -
So, I've just received two almost identical offers from two companies. One is a profitable large firm, and the other is a start up that's just been acquired and is yet to become profitable. Both firms or similar tech stacks and will train me on my missing skills.
The differences are that the smaller form has "promised" me a lead position in a few months. I know from experience that future promises like this don't anyways pan out.
At the end of the day, I need the skills and I want to make sure it keeps my CV interesting for the future.
I have to decide in a couple of hours. I need advice.4 -
TL;DR Jump to the bottom, putting question first seems strange.
I got 2 servers sharing 1 external ip, i use one server for x y z and the other for a b c, so they dont use the same ports.
I got told i would need 1 dedicated ip per server, and i refuse to believe that since everything works fine. However, some things would definitely be alot easier having an ip per server.
So, does anyone have experience with getting an additional ip for your home connection?6 -
Teaching coworkers performance tuning, we have the memory enough that you don't need to write to disk... Really the data isn't Even a MB....
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"No, the Client doesn't like stored procedures so we have done all our TL parts of the ETL using a bunch of views on top of views on top of views."
Wish I could have been here at the start so I could have pushed back, sigh.
Siiiggghhhh, yet the client is anal about performance and even consistency in SSIS packages.....siiiggghhhhhh but we dont have SHOWPLAN permissions or even sp_who2 access...siiiigggghhhhhh.
If i expanded one of the final views, would be like 1k lines. For the amount of data, we move, there shouldn't be any noticeable processing time but it can take anywhere from 10mins to an hour.2 -
today is exactly the first month I started learning programming. But, I have always wondered, how is a language created? and why people willingly painstakingly learn new language when its not widely used?1
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What do you do when you don't feel like / can't get anything done? I couldn't focus at all. I feel like my brain is missing.3
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I need to write something using https://nuget.org/packages/... because it’s bugging me. But I don’t know what.2
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Friends:
They want you to listen but they never give a shit about what you're talking themselves. This is why I have quit most of my friendships and practically replaced them with devrant, not sure if it was a good idea in the long run though...2 -
What is ploymorphism??? Im new to oop, and wanna learn more abt it. Preferably in examples from pascal or cpp.13
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How can a novel emerging challenger software (written in Rust) take me 4 hours to install (still ongoing)?
Today I have decided to give Pijul a go. Pijul describes itself as a theory-sound alternative to Git, which I have wanted to get away from for a while now, due to various reasons -- many of which I saw Pijul advertise to have solved on design level.
So I set away a day to learn Pijul, today. Well, 4 hours after I sat down -- after a number of hilariously wonky failures of "Rust ecosystem" to do the right thing as I had to install Rust with some shell one-liners those insane wizards recommend for installation process (all in the name of "stability but not stagnation") -- Pijul has now been installing with the blasted `cargo` for an hour now (that's after 3 hours of getting to the point where `cargo install pijul` stopped exploding in my face) -- telling me I only have 40 crates more to install. Are they throttling me, perhaps? I don't care -- I should have been installing Pijul from a repository in accordance with my Linux distribution, or -- at worst -- download a BLOODY COMPILED PROGRAM IMAGE.
What is it with the hipster developers today? Everything they get of tools, they subsume and churn out intricate complexities the likes of which we hadn't seen yesterday. Tell me fellow developers who think installation of your software has to require three and a half novel "installation solutions" to which I can't be arsed to be made privy -- do you think your life today is easier than, I don't know -- wrangling with a Makefile and a C compiler (which today thankfully can do rather good job of standards compliance)?
I mean I wouldn't mind Pijul being written in Rust -- but it turns out Rust's advertised elegancy in practice is wrapped in so much "giftwrap" I feel like what desire I had to learn Rust myself, I'll stear well clear.
Here's an advice for developers in general -- an advice continiously ignored for decades -- stop blowing your original scope of delivery in auxilary packages you think you need to reinvent just because you can or because your mom is out of town! For programming languages like Rust this most certainly entails NOT writing your own package manager, with its own package delivery mechanism that has its own configuration file format and virtual machine to configure dependency resolution or what have you!
You wanted to write a programming language that has novel features you think we need? Fine -- write one and stop there. Watch it grow, and watch people who are busy working on other parts (scopes) of software to integrate your offer.
What a shitshow. Stop smuggling alternative package managers, installers, and discombulators with your actual product -- I only want the latter, I don't want the rest of your damn piping, walls, roof and a cathedral on top of it!
Don't be that guy starting with a pin, and ending up with a fucking diorama miniature of a pig farm in Netherlands. Jesus.7 -
Best way to estimate a dev project for me is to establish what are the nice to haves and the must haves. A lot of times I’ll get a big list of requirements or a vague outline, so I need to figure what are our priorities.
If the project involves a new service that we have to purchase, then that project’s time estimate is one weekend because that’s how long it took other companies to implement per that service’s account manager lol 🤣1