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Search - "viagra"
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I once had to literally hack a Joomla 1.5.x site for a client, because they did not find the passwords (hosting, cms, ftp, mysql). After 5 minutes and a SQL injection I was in like flynn.
The site was already full of hidden links to viagra sellers and stuff... 😂1 -
I'm doing a migration where I have to move like 200+ old-old websites. Stuff was never touched for ages and we kinda moved it 'into the cloud' now.
So after a few sites I check graylog (where all the logs are stored) and I saw this gem:
stderr: PHP message: PHP Warning: file_get_contents(http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/... Online Viagra/): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 400 Bad Request
And I was like, wtf? Is this site hacked?
Ok the sadness starts now. Behold the following:
function getTinyUrl($url) {
$tinyurl = file_get_contents("http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/...);
return $tinyurl;
}
This function gets executed for the current link AND every dynamic href on the page.. EVERY pageload.
I was not even mad.2 -
The only hacked sites I had to fix were running on ... [prepare your stomach] ... Joomla.
I'm not sure if there is even one single solid developer for Joomla. This shit piece has more vulnerabilities than a crack hobo infested with pest-ebola-hyperAIDS.
The sites were full of hidden viagra and pr0n ads and links so the crawlers would list them.
Luckily for me, I was able to pursuade the clients in all 3 cases to build a new site from scratch on a different CMS.2 -
CLIENT "So my nephew who does stuff with computers built it and we are ok with how it all works so don't worry about changing that. "
DEV "so like you have a public form with no input filtering, spam mitigation let alone sanitization or remote concern for security. Basically you have a Json flat file that is 34mbs of links to, viagra, replica watches, nock off name brands and one real estate company. It is getting about 15 submissions an hour. Since you don't want me changing how it works are you happy to just leave all that ?"
CLIENT "no no we don't want all that but we have no route to delete it, can you just stop all the spam and let us continue on?"
DEV "ok so back to my first question can we rebuild all of this properly, or do you really want to just leave it all"
:/ FML3 -
I once worked at a small dev shop and the previous developer there must have hated the owner of the company.
He hid a script in one of the interal company apps that the owner used every day... the script looped over a method that sent the owner 500 emails that solicited viagra.2 -
Legit got excited because today...on friday...one of our servers went down.
Why excited?
Tell me, do you know how fun it is to call your admin if he was "able to get it up" just for him to reply that he is having some "performance issues"?
Lmao it's fucking hilarious.
On another nothe, plz halp5 -
The fact that I have to convert a 90s-ish design into a WordPress theme despite the boss trying to convince our client that WP's shit and we should do it in something else doesn't tilt me as much as it should.
But what DOES tilt me and piss me off is the fact that the shitheads told us to 'make the design better', and so I tried; I made one of their graphics responsive by only designing it with CSS (and for once, I even made it work right) because they wanted a mobile-friendly version but failed to supply a mobile-version PSD so I had to improvise and they had the balls to tell my boss that they're 'disappointed that we failed to follow the guidelines'.
Did you bitchsicles even bother to hire a proper fucking designer who would know how to fucking design a PSD to convert into HTML? There's no fucking grid, the design's all over the fucking place like your mother after a Viagra-fueled Friday night bukakke party at an old home and the colors are an eyesore like your own fucking selves if you ever bothered looking in the fucking mirror. Fuck you all to hell.1 -
Just found out some of our smaller sites (wp) have been hit with a shell...
In fucking January.
My colleagues didn't think to tell me this.
They figured someone must have had the pass or something and started posting about Viagra...
No. It's the fucking ico vuln...
I hate work right now. -
Look, I get that it's really tricky to assess whether someone is or isn't skilled going solely by their profile.
That's alright.
What isn't center of the cosmic rectum alright with the fucking buttsauce infested state of interviews is that you give me the most far fetched and convoluted nonsense to solve and then put me on a fucking timer.
And since there isn't a human being on the other side, I can't even ask for clarification nor walk them through my reasoning. No, eat shit you cunt juice swallowing mother fucker, anal annhilation on your whole family with a black cock stretching from Zimbabwe to Singapore, we don't care about this "reasoning" you speak of. Fuck that shit! We just hang out here, handing out tricks in the back alley and smoking opium with vietnamese prostitutes, up your fucking ass with reason.
Let me tell you something mister, I'm gonna shove a LITERAL TON of putrid gorilla SHIT down your whore mouth then cum all over your face and tits, let's see how you like THAT.
Cherry on top: by the time I began figuring out where my initial approach was wrong, it was too late. Get that? L'esprit d'escalier, bitch. I began to understand the problem AFTER the timer was up. I could solve it now, except it wouldn't do me any fucking good.
The problem? Locate the topmost 2x2 block inside a matrix whose values fall within a particular range. It's easy! But if you don't explain it properly, I have to sit down re-reading the description and think about what the actual fuck is this cancerous liquid queef that just got forcefully injected into my eyes.
But since I can't spend too much time trying to comperfukenhend this two dollar handjob of a task, which I'd rather swap for teabagging a hairy ass herpes testicle sack, there's rushing in to try and make sense of this shit as I type.
So I'm about 10 minutes down or so already, 35 to go. I finally decipher that I should get the XY coords of each element within the specified range, then we'll walk an array of those coordinates and check for adjacency. Easy! Done, and done.
Another 10 minutes down, all checks in place. TEST. Wait, wat? Where's the output? WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. THE OUTPUT?! BITCH GIMME AN ANSWER. I COUT'D THE RETURN AND CAN SEE THE TERMINAL BUT ITS NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHINGGG?! UUUGHHH FUCKKFKFKFKFKFKFKFUFUFUFFKFK (...)
Alright, we have about 20 minutes left to finish this motorsaw colonoscopy, and I can't see what my code is outputting so I'm walking through the code myself trying to figure out if this will work. Oh, look at that I have to MANUALLY click this fucking misaligned text that says "clear" in order for any new output to register. Lovely, 10/10 web design, I will violate your armpits with an octopus soaked in rabid bear piss.
Mmmh, looks like I got this wrong. Figures. I'm building the array of coordinates sequentially, as a one dimentional list, which is very inconvenient for finding adjacent elements. No problem, let's try and fix that aaaaaand... SHIT IM ALMOST OUT OF TIME.
QUICK LYEB, QUICK!! REMEMBER WHAT FISCELLA TAUGHT YOU, IN BETWEEN MOLESTING YOUR SOUL WITH 16-BIT I/O CONSOLE PROBLEMS, LIKE THAT BITCH SNOWFALL THING YOU HAD TO SOLVE FOR A FRIEND USING TURBO C ON A FUCKING TOASTER IN COMPUTER LAB! RUN MOTHERFUCKER RUN!!!
I'm SWEATING. HEAVILY. I'm STEAMING, NON-EROTICALLY. Less than 10 minutes left. I'm trying to correct the code I have, but I start making MORE dumbfuck mistakes because I'm in a hurry!
5 minutes left. As I hit this point of no return, I realize exactly where my initial reasoning went wrong, and how I could fix it, but I can't because I don't have enough time. Sadface.
So I hastily put together skeleton of the correct implementation, and as the clock is nearly up, I write a comment explaining the bits I can't get to write. Page up, top of file, type "the editor was shit LMAO" and comment it out. SUBMIT.
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Also hi ;>5 -
So a friend just told me one of his websites just got hacked and replaced with viagra advertisement.
He basically avoided joomla updates in order not to break something.
On the weekend I'm going to show him how to quickly spin up a docker environment for testing updates. -
Got WHMCS installed. Got most things set up, then I notice "Spam Control" and wonder what it can do..
Set it to check for phrases, and I enter "viagra" as the phrase. I click add.
Now I can't access Spam Control anymore, I just get an "Oops, something went wrong!".
Got dammit.1 -
Its fucked how you can put spf and dkim in place and your legitimate emails are still blocked but yet you can receive viagra emails daily5
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Today's been weird...
>building gcc because #JustToolchainThingz
note: in gcc: function '' may fall through
note: in gcc: here
>checking email
"Your VA Benefit check is ready!"
(Note: i've never enlisted for either mainline or reserve service, i'm waiting to get out of school first)
>fixing PC
Popup: BUY USED VIAGRA PILLS
>wait, USED??? How?
It's only 10 AM. -
Can someone please explain why LISP and LISP inspired langs breed the most insufferable twats?
I mean, just look at this, I'm trying to learn Clojure and happened across this site/slash book: braveclojure.com
Some highlights:
>Chapter 7 - Clojure Alchemy: Reading, Evaluation, and Macros:
>The philosopher’s stone, along with the elixir of life and Viagra, is one of the most well-known specimens of alchemical lore, pursued for its ability to transmute lead into gold. Clojure, however, offers a tool that makes the philosopher’s stone look like a mere trinket: the macro.
> The -> also lets us omit parentheses, which means there’s less visual noise to contend with. This is a syntactic abstraction because it lets you write code in a syntax that’s different from Clojure’s built-in syntax but is preferable for human consumption. Better than lead into gold!!!
>Chapter 10 - Clojure Metaphysics: Atoms, Refs, Vars, and Cuddle Zombies:
>The Three Concurrency Goblins are all spawned from the same pit of evil: shared access to mutable state.
>In fact, Clojure embodies a very clear conception of state that makes it inherently safer for concurrency than most popular programming languages. It’s safe all the way down to its meta-freakin-physics.
And look at this: https://quora.com/Why-are-Lisp-prog...
It reminds me of Python before the data-science craze and its adherents thought IT was God's programming language.1