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"Chrome 66 arrives with autoplaying content blocked by default"
Fuck yeah! Fuck you CNET, Mashables and all the other retard companies that did that.13 -
Client: Where are we with the project, it's been a week and I see nothing.
Me: You asked me to do something that was not in the agreed scope of work, which has kept me from starting on the project.
Client: Do I need to plan out everything in advance on paper for you to get it done in a timely manner?
Me: Is that a serious question? Yes, you should. That's the whole point of creating a scope of work. It's to allow me to schedule out the time necessary to build out a product in a "timely manner".
Client: I don't appreciate your attitude. This is not how you should be doing business if you like making money.
Me: I don't appreciate your condescending, unreasonable, dickhead mentality that makes you think it's remotely okay to act like you're better than me. Money doesn't grant you the right to be a dickwad, and just because I'm being paid doesn't mean I have to put up with any level of arrogance or disrespect.
I am in this business to make money, but not at the cost of my dignity and self-respect. You will be receiving a full refund later today, not because I have to provide a refund, but because I never want to communicate with you ever again moving forward. Take your unacceptable bullshit somewhere else.14 -
What the fuck student. Why in fuck would you submit a python assignment in word. So that all the formatting you know the stuff that tells python how to run the code all fucks up. How the fuck can I mark this.28
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Summary of the summary: Boss is an asshole. Root gets angry; boss leaves instead of picking a fight for once. This makes Root sad (and really angry).
Summary: Root has another interaction with her boss. The boss is an asshole. Root is a bitch. Root would have been so so so much more of a bitch if the boss actually fucking responded. Root is sad this didn't happen. Root might have gotten fired. That would have made Root happy. :<
-------------
Le wild blackout appears!
-- Conference call (the short-short version) --
Boss: *freaks out* Fix it! Why aren't you fixing it? You have to fix it.
Me: I'm already fixing it. 😕
Boss: You have to fix it! This is important!
Me: Then let's get off this call so I can focus on fixing it!
Boss: Okay but fix it! *begrudgingly hangs up*
-- Slack --
Me: (posting a running log of what I'm doing) This is what i discovered. this is the cause. these are the possible fixes. I picked this one because it's quick and has few consequences, though it may break ____ so it'll need followup fixes. I'll do those tomorrow. Blackout resolved!
Boss: (apparently doesn't even noticed I fixed his shitty service)
-- Next day --
Boss: I want you to work on [stupid shit] instead.
Me: But what about the followup fixes?
Boss: Top priority! because customer service!
Me: ... fine.
-- Next week (verbatim because wtf) --
Boss: Did we test that [resolution] on ______? No one thought to test this. It didnt cross anyones mind at all? Either you guys can make good decisions and document concerns or I have to be part of every decision [...]. But this is basic. SHould have been a team heads up and said if we are switching this what can it break and can we test it. [sic]
Me: Did you want me to resolve the blackout quickly and allow people to actually use our service, or spend two days checking everything that might possibly have gone wrong? I weighed the possibilities and picked the solution with the quickest implementation with the fewest consequences. You're welcome.
Me: (Quotes boss's "SHould have been a team heads up" and links my "this is what could go wrong" heads-up in Slack)
Boss: (pretends not to even notice)
Boss: (talks about customer service related crap)
What a fucking loser.
I'm so angry he didn't respond and start in on me over it. I wanted to tear him to shreds in front of everyone.
Related:
He tried adding another huge project to my plate earlier today, and I started flipping out on him for all these shitty sales features he keeps dumping on me in place of real work that i still get blamed for not finishing. The contractor stepped in before it got too heated, though, which is probably best because my reaction was pretty unprovoked. The above rant, though? Asshole doesn't read, just blames and yells when he's angry.
I really hate him.20 -
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !
26 -
Ranted about him before but this just came to my mind again.
The fucking windows (to the max) fanboy I had to deal with for too long.
Every time I mentioned something about what programming language to use in a project he was NOT part of:
"I know it's none of my business, BUT I think you should use .net"
(All backend JavaScript and php guys).
Every time I mentioned something about what server system to use:
"I know it's none of my business but I think you should use Windows server"
(All Linux guys)
Every time I'd say something positive about Linux he'd search as long as needed to prove that that was also a windows thing (didn't even come close sometimes)
Every time I told the devs there about a windows security issue (as in "guys they found this thing, install the next update to stay safe :)" - "ahhh will do, thanks for letting know man!") he'd search as long as needed to prove that Linux also had had security issues like that.
(Okay?!? I know?!? I'm just trying to notify people so their systems stay secure and they're genuinely happy with that so STFU)
MOTHERFUCKER.17 -
That mind fuck movement....
When your IDE reports you error on line 235.
And you find out line 235 is actually a comment. FUCK!!!!12 -
Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!
14 -
So Nvidia doesn't let you use their GeForce Experience app anymore without logging in.
*Uninstalled*
Fuck that, I don't want to login so I can see an FPS counter in my ganes or record them to my local disk or something like that... Fuck you Nvidia and fuck whoever decided that would be a good idea.6 -
Currently on an internship, PHP mostly, little bit of Python and the usual web stuff, and I just had the BEST FUCKING DAY EVER.
Wake up and find out I'm out of coffee, oh boy here we go.
Bus leaves 10 minutes late, great gonna miss my train.
Trains just don't wanna ride today, back in a bus I go, what's normally a 10 minute train travel is now a 90 minute bus ride.
Arrive at internship, coffee machine is broke, non problem, I'll just lose it slowly.
NOW HERE COMES THE FUCKING GOOD PART!!
Alright, so I'm working on a CMS that can be used just about on any device you want, mobile or desktop, it's huge, billion's of rows of scientific data. Very specific requirements and low error margins. Now, yesterday I was really enjoying myself here until today, Project manager walks in, comes to my desk and hands me a Samsung Gear S3, an Apple watch and some cheap knockoff. He tells me that before the Friday deploy, THE ENTIRE CMS SHOULD WORK ON THOSE WATCHES!
I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a challenge but it's just not right, I mean, I'm still not sure what the right way to handle tables on phones is, but smart watches, just no. Besides that, I've never worked with any Apple devices, let alone WatchOs, nor have I worked with Android Wear.
Also, Project Manager is a total dickhead, he's the kinda guy that prefers a light theme, doesn't clean up his code, writes 0 documentation for an API, 1 space = tab, pure horror.
So after almost flipping my desk, I just called my school coach to announce I'm leaving this internship. After a brief explanation he decides to come over, and guess what, according to the Project Manager I wasn't supposed to do that, I was supposed to test if it would be possible.
FUCKING ASSFUCKFACE9 -
"The client wants th..."
FUCK THE CLIENT!FUCK THAT MORON!
YOU CAN'T BE MAKING CHANGES 1 DAY TO LAUNCH! FUCK THIS!4 -
Without even talking to me, why the fuck did you announce that I would be taking the project manager role. Who the fuck wants to do that monkey job? What the fuck is fucking hell wrong with your fucken brain.
You bloody piece of shit with masters from university and can’t handle fucken projects and client’s. Clients are complaining to me about you. Whole day looks for women to fuck during the night while we are dying virgin over here. Fuck you and I wish your dick falls apart.9 -
Fuck you and your shitty updates Microsoft.
I never asked for a fucking weather app on my taskbar.
Why the actual fuck would I EVER need that shit? I have that on my phone already, same for my news, and literally everything else you try to molest me with.
Want to know why Linux is growing market share? It's because it's an OS first and not some husk that shoves content at you and screams "CONSUME ME!"
FUCK YOUR SHITTY UPDATES, AND FUCK YOUR PLATFORM OF PETTY METRIC BULLSHIT.27 -
Depression is like email newsletters, nobody signed up for that shit and the unsubscribe link never works 🙈 fuck that 📧5
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WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WINDOWS???
You change the icon for the multi desktop button... ok fine,
*clicks*
son of a bitch now contains Bing Ads
Fuck you Windows, and Fuck me for not being able to find a linux distro that will fucking boot after install correctly, and FUCK you acer for not having linux support.
28 -
Fuck in app browsers. They should be fucking banned, honestly.
Instagram, Gmail, Kik, any if you cunts that have browsers in your app... Go fuck yourself.8 -
I know we agreed to stop the Windows 10 rants, but this fucker just crapped itself 20-ish minutes before a live video production. Had to run to the other building and steal a computer from the folks in the studio because this one would no longer boot.
7 -
Even the big guys fuck up at times and it is ok.
Sometimes I put unnecessary pressure on myself when I fuckup simple tasks. But when I see the big guys fuck up too, it kind of makes me realise that it is ok to fuck up at times. That is the only way to learn.
4 -
I really fucking hate when people or companies do shit like this..
Apparently Google is changing the salad emoji, which is a bowl that contains lettuce, tomato, egg, onion and stuff like that, to the same, but without the egg.
Why you may ask?
Well.. they did it to "make it a more inclusive vegan salad".
ITS JUST SOME WHITE PIXELS FOR FUCKS SAKE. How would any vegan, besides the crazy ones, be upset about a moist egg in their crisp salad?
I cant even.. im out of words.. fuck.
Additionally, the news page i read it on have been so kind to host a poll of what people think about it, whether its a good idea or not.
Ill let the image speak for itself, if you really need a translation, dont use google translate, ask in the comments.
42 -
Why the fuck isn't that center line on that road not centered? Irritating the fuck out of me. Who chooses such an image to promote anything?
8 -
Why the fuck would you assign two new values to the same variable in consecutive lines like that ? I swear this project is driving me nuts. Fuck the dev who wrote this.
4 -
Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK21 -
Fuck everyone who expects interns to work for free and Fuck you if you think that an unpaid intern is lazy.13
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For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.14 -
!dev
Me: walks into a coffee shop and orders a latte
Barista-1: can you cover for me tomorrow.
Barista-2: I am busy with family. Do you have plans?
B-1: no.
B-2: are you sick?
B-1: yeah! My throat hurts soooo much and I can hardly breath!
B-2: ahhhhh. That’s too sad.
B-1: commences to make my latte while breaking heavily into it.
Me: Walks the fuck away.
Fuck. That. Shit.
The $6 it costs for that latte isn’t worth missing a week of paying work with the flu!
I got no time for that type of shit. Stay the fuck home for fuck sakes.7 -
I just got a response from a recruiter saying that I didn't pass the screening because "they need people with degrees". Why the fuck didn't you mention that in your job requirements before wasting my time? Fuck recruiters and their degrees!!6
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*logs out of Google on Android*
*has this persistent Google search bar on launcher which I keep on accidentally tapping*
Alright, so I'm not logged into Google to see how it goes. Kind of an experiment to see just how intertwined Android and my life are with Google. And it's going quite well actually, except for my prime apps that I can't seem to get around.
*reads Google privacy policy*
"We protect your data by keeping it secure!"
Hmm, yeah.. you and 3 letter agencies are keeping it secure and out of the hands of other individuals.. that makes sense.
Don't be evil.. unless you're the devil, right?
Fuck you, I won't login like this.
*accidentally opens Google*
*le trending results show up*
- KSI vs Logan Paul weigh-in!
- KSI vs Logan Paul Manchester!
- KSI vs Logan Paul arena fight!
*opens up NewPipe in which I am not logged in either*
- KSI vs Logan Paul!!!
- Did you see the KSI vs Logan Paul stuff yet?!
*logs back into Google straight away*
Personalized search engine.. many hate it, but boy do I fucking love it.4 -
Fuck old farts trying to enslave us by censoring internet,
fuck socialism,
fuck globalization,
fuck cloud services,
fuck city surveillance,
fuck internet surveillance,
fuck RFID that enslaved animals,
fuck IoT constantly looking at our life,
fuck artificial intelligence.
It’s becoming fucking nightmare.
Time to make tools to fight against technology and people that intrude our life with this shit.
Where the fuck is John Connor ?8 -
Genuinely upset that I don't have wifi
Fuck Irma
Fuck this.
I can deal without a/c, not wifi.
Kill me.4 -
Fuck College, Fuck C, Fuck the people that didnt help me with my C code and in fact made my problems worse and didn't fucking help me, Fuck the bastard that decided to give my the largest mountain of homework, fuck my inability to get shit done, fuck myself for not getting motivated to do anything. And also fuck Javascript cause its JavaScript.
Edit: IM ALSO FUCKING RETARDED41 -
Is a code truly tested until it has print("Fuck this"), print("Fuck that"), print("Fuck you"), print("Fuck me") spread along every code path?8
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Everytime I encounter cpanel or plesk
fuck that shit, I dont need that aids-software on any machine12 -
TLDR, Fuck Electron
I love VSCode but damn I wish it wasn’t electron, same with discord and every other electron based application.
Also fuck those people that put TLDR at the bottom ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A SUMMARY IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ FUCK YOU31 -
FUCK THEM FOR CHANGING MY PAYROLL.
MY GROSS RATE DROPPED 50$. AND THAT'S NOT WHAT WE AGREED ON. FUCK THAT COMPANY. I'LL JUST GO AWOL AND NEVER MENTION ANY OF THEIR COMPANY AGAIN.11 -
nVidia, fuck you
Just fuck you!
FUCK YOU!!
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO LIKE ALL THE OTHER MANUFACTURERS!!
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST PUBLISH OPEN SOURCE DRIVERS THAT WORK WITH MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL STANDARDS AND NOT YOUR OWN PROPRIETARY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT SOLUTION!!!
ALL OTHER MANUFACTURERS HAVE OPEN SOURCE DRIVERS, AND SOME ARE EVEN MAINLINED IN THE KERNEL!!!
I JUST WANT WAYLAND TO WORK!! FUCK YOU
I’M BUYING AN AMD!!!
https://reddit.com/r/...
https://drewdevault.com/2017/10/...16 -
Fuck this system. Fuck college. Why the fuck are you making me write hundreds of chemistry assignments and calculating double integrals? How the fuck does that even help me? I seriously feel like college sucks up a huge chunk of my time and I am not learning anything, while I practice Node and Vue at home. Why does that degree hold so much value when most degree holders don't even have skills?30
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Programming made me fucking fat as fuck.
I went to Holmes Place after a 2 month no gym period to get counseling.
I have a whoppin 25% body fat and it makes me fucking depressed.
Fuck sitting in front of computers and programming for hours. Fuck snacks and fuck stayibg up late. That shit is bad for you.16 -
Hate Pair Programming. You either have an over smart sob who'll just keep blazin through things without giving a fuck whether the other person is able to catch up, or you get a lazy asshole who just keeps checking facebook on his phone!! Fuck pair programming!!7
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I started working in a company where they use scala/akka stack, that requires a huge amount of hw resources to compile and debug, so my boss bought me a new laptop: a MacBook Pro. I came from a Dell with Linux Fedora, and now:
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR COMPUTERS ARE SO SHITTY
JUST EXPLAIN ME WHY THE FUCKING KEYBOARD IS SO A PIECE OF SHIT WITH THE FUCKING COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU MAC OS WITH YOUR SHITTY POLICIES YOU CAN'T INSTALL THIS PROGRAM BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO ENABLE UNKNOWN RESOURCES
FUCK YOU BREW AND BREW CASK WHAT THE FUCK OF TWO SHOULD I USE
FUCK THE STUPID TOUCHBAR I WANT THE FUCKING ESC, DELETE, F1, F2 AND SO ON
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR MAC IS FRAGILE AS FUCK I CAN'T THROW THAT FROM THE FIFTH FLOOR OF MY BUILDING LIKE A THINKPAD
FUCK YOU SAFARI THAT YOU DON'T REFRESH THE PAGE WITH F5
I have a small gif for you just to explain how much shitty is Mac OS
17 -
Perfect job is when sandbox and production api endpoints works the same.
Fuck all api endpoints where their sandbox works differently than the production.
Fuck all those error messages that appear only in production, despite faithfully following the documentations.
Fuck the gateways where their sandbox is more stable than the production.
Fuck the endpoints whose api parameters differ in what they accept between sandbox and production.
Fuck those manuals that does not document these diferrences.
Fuck those developers and support team who don't know how to support integrators. They don't even know how their apis work!9 -
I applied for Software Devloper position but was called in for interview for Systems Analyst (IT). Nothing to do with coding. When I mentioned that I applied for Software Developer role, I was told that there is no vacancy for that role then why the fuck did you advertised and fuck the fuck did I apply.
Fuck5 -
Finally, the jeezless present is done.. fuck this shit, where's my booze and my bed?! 😒
Anyway, it's essentially a power bank with LED's attached to it. The LED matrix is at the back side and looks reasonably decent (but I don't wanna disclose the age it's displaying). It's powered through a 47ohm resistor and is directly attached to the 5V lines. Yellow LED's with 2V voltage drop that have each number completely parallelized, and then those numbers are put in series to increase the combined forward voltage of the LED's to 4V. That way the circuit is around 80% efficient (resistor drops 1V, LED's drop the remaining 4V). Other than that, nothing too special. It did take 2 nights to build though.. way too much for a mere formality 😑
13 -
At my previous job we had to complete an online security training exercise. It shows you how to behave secure in the work place, to not open unknown links etc. The scary part was that the entire training thing was BUILT IN FUCKING FLASH. So I'm suppose to listen to some god damn virus shitting flash application on how to do online security?! Get your shit together before teaching others.5
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Fuck you Windows 10 and your fucking mandatory updates that fuckes up every fucking time! Fuck you and your fucking inability to update beyond 71 fucking percent! This is the last fucking time you waste my time, your fucking out! Fuck you!!!19
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This morning there was this window cleaner again, that actually made me remember a rant from the old box - my previous account. Repost of that coming in an hour or so :3
Turns out that he came in the morning, and I completely forgot about it. The only appointment that I had today got canceled so I was like, eh fuck it. There's been this family event yesterday that made me so fucking tired... I'll just stay in bed for a little while longer.
Apparently that window cleaner ringed my bell multiple times, haven't heard him do it but anyway.. he and the cleaning lady had the genius idea to ask my landlord whether they can just barge in my home. Way to start the day, isn't it? I thought there were burglars.
In my bathrobe and visibly pissed off (I am NOT a morning person!), I let him do the window cleaning and waited for them to get the fuck out already. Then that cleaning lady, the fucking bitch that called my landlord to break into my home without MY prior permission!!! While the window cleaner was doing his work, she proceeds to ask me this.
Cleaning lady: "I had this technical issue earlier, and since you are good with phones I thought I'd ask you."
Me (thinking): oh, here it comes.. *rolling eyes*
M: "What's the issue?"
CL: "Well my stepson has an iPhone, which he broke and we brought it to a smartphone repair shop. They repaired it twice but an hour after receipt of the fixed phone, it breaks again."
M (t): You went wrong at iPhone, and you went wrong at visiting that incompetent mofo "teknishan" twice.
M: "Well I have no experience whatsoever with iPhones, but continue."
CL: "Well, he replaced the motherboard, and some pin at the bottom.."
M (t): The fucking motherboard of all things. The whole fucking motherboard?! The last thing that I'd look at, he just replaces like that?! Fucking piece of shit. That's even worse than Apple stores. And what's up with that goddamn pin? CAN'T YOU POSSIBLY BE A BIT MORE SPECIFIC?!
M: "Given only this information, I have no idea what's wrong with it."
CL: "But you are good with these things, aren't you?!"
M: "I disassemble my own broken phones, and dick around with their motherboards. That, while I'm fully aware that in the process I can break it beyond repair. That does not make me an expert on every phone out there."
CL: …
Well what did you even expect, fucking bitch. You barge into my home, don't even have the dignity to leave for me to be able to shower and dress myself, and then you go ask shit like that? Go suck my fucking cock, and shove that iPaperweight down your ass!! How about that?!9 -
These moronic idiots wrote a scientific paper, and did not bother explaining the acronym they've used. 😐
https://sciencedirect.com/science/...
How am I supposed to know which fuckin CART it means? Huh? Who the fuck told you that was acceptable? Also fig 3 can get fucked too.
Your approach seemed interesting for all of two whole fuckin seconds before you fucked it with your unscientific explanation of your results in SIXTEEN FUCKING DIGITS after zero. Fuck you and fuck this and fuck that. Am I clear?
... The straw that broke the camel's back. 😑14 -
To whoever in the history of this godforsaken app I’m tasked with has commingled PHP with ColdFusion, I have a message for you:
Fuck you...fuck your momma, fuck yo daddy, fuck yo computer, fuck yo keyboard, fuck yo mouse, fuck the clothes on your back, fuck monitors that displayed this shit, fuck your fingers in particular, fuck yo brain, fuck whoever dropped yo on your head as an infant, fuck the car you drove to work in, fuck the servers running this shit, fuck anybody who was involved with your education, and if I see you on the street ima slap the shit out of you.6 -
know what pisses me the fuck off? when the manager of another department jumps over me and goes straight to the head of my department for a request that they want from MY department.
Currently, there are 2 stupid bitches that insist on doing this fuckery. One of them keeps getting owned by our DBA since for whatever reason she sends her requests to me, just for the DBA to remind her that I ain't giving her access to shit and bla bla
The other is the head of the human resources department. It goes like this: sends wrong data, task gets delayed cuz we have to sort her shit, gets impatient, bitches at head of department and his boss about us taking long(bitch 3 hours ain't long and your shit ain't critical) just for me to reply back with images and LOOK FUCKTARD YOU MESS THIS UP red arrows showing how what she did was wrong and I had to fix it for her.
Sends a reply back only to me saying thanks, ah no pendeja, I will forward aaaaaaall of that shit to everyone else, tried throwing me under the bus? well now ima do it to you.
And fuck those 3 applications you requested, have fun adding shit manually through spreadsheets and then go eat shit and die.5 -
Constructive criticism at its finest coming all the way from:
Fuck You
Fuck You - Fuck You
Fuck You, AL 10101
Note: Joe is my coworker, not the customer that wrote in. The form sends from his address.
6 -
What the actual fuck?!!! ifconfig: command not found even after installing net-tools, just wtf
Who the fuck thought replacing nicely formated output of ifconfig with that garbage that "ip a" shits out was a good idea?!!
I will hate whoever did that until they burn in hell11 -
When someone says that Node.js cannot become enterprise standard like Java. Bitch what the fuck is Netflix, Yahoo, WalMart and PayPal using. Fuck you!17
-
Fuck you Amazon.
Fuck your two factor authentication.
Fuck your PINs over SMS that take 1 hour to arrive.
Fuck you.7 -
fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB
if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK2 -
Ok so everyone knows the "error after file end" BUT I JUST GOT AN ERROR IN A FILE THAT DOESNT EXIST.
WHAT THE FUCK UNITY. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.1 -
My ass of a supervisor threw yet another bomb my way.
He basically said I would fire you if I could, but I don't have a valid reason, however I will not give a good grade for your dissertation because you don't do exactly what I told you. (not exact words, that was just the gist)
So I need to start looking for a new supervisor and a new department. He is not letting or helping me grow. I can't be under this fucking much stress, do this much fucking work and stay sane.
Gonna go cry now. Bye.21 -
I'm starting to think that the quality of my day is directly correlated to the amount of times I say "fuck". Today I said and shouted that word for about 100 times.
FUCK!6 -
Fuck this, fuck that, fuck the buffer, fuck AES, fuck crypto, fuck node-forge, fuck IV and browsers, once I am done with this fucking cryptographic wrapper on both client and server, the first person to say decrypt and Javascript in the same sentence in front of me will get their own dick in their ass. The guy that said mixing computer and crypto was a bad idea was fucking right4
-
Fuck EA and its fucking launcher. Your broken piece of shit software doesn't even launch. I even tried reinstalling but that garbage won't launch. Fuck you EA and all of your bad practises. Wrap that launcher and shove it to your ass.3
-
Mac keyboard and mouse.
Fuck no right mouse button.
Fuck that prolapsed ass key. Why not ctrl or shift instead like any other system?23 -
FUCK ME!!
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!16 -
Who the fuck decided that serverless computing is a good name for something that isn't serverless?7
-
- Fuck mobile apps that open links in embedded browser windows
- Fuck Wordpress page builders that use the single content field as an embedded IDrag&DropE.
- Fuck unindented HTML markup
- Fuck plugins with "pro" versions that provide more than 50% of the advertised features.
- Fuck building an app with a SPA framework and then adding SSR cuz ur SEO is fucked.
- Fuck Javascript transitions that are meant to make a site look fancy but slow it the fuck down.
Fuck it.
Vent your frustrations9 -
Installers that copy files into a default directory without letting me change the installation path.. fuck whoever does that!6
-
OneDrive: where we duplicate your files instead of synchronizing them correctly because fuck that.5
-
I'm in deep shit, barely managing myself,
> Fuck Domain resellers who don't know their job (that's not you Jase)
> Fuck GoDaddy
> Fuck cPanel
> Fuck WordPress
That concludes, a friend called in a favor to host a WordPress blog with our hosting and domain from re-seller
and fuck that re-seller with cactus in the ass, for being a hack and saying it is not possible to transfer the domain to my hosting account.13 -
I do like Windows, it is a quite good OS nowadays, but for FUCK SAKE, what does it take to fix that CLUSTER FUCK that you call search? You don't have enough people MS or what? Just show me the BLOODY ITEMS that actually contain the words that I typed in!!! While you are at it WOULD YOU MIND LEAVING ME THE FUCK ALONE WITH THE FUCKING WEB RESULTS???9
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This week's sprint:
Bugs that cannot be reproduced
Features that are vague as shit
Man fuck this week...1 -
Hey if you make an app that specifically depends on gnome and has 2 gigs of dependencies on other platforms
fuck you fuck your ancestors fuck your entire extended family fuck everything you have, do and will ever stand for, i hope you contract ever imaginable diseases to the point where existence itself pains you.6 -
Owner of the company I freelance for: The proposal I sent yesterday to [PR Company we do work for] got bounced back. They said it was incomplete.
Me: Well no shit, they didn't provide us with a detailed itinerary of everything they need, nor did they give us access to sections that they want copied to the new website. I can't and won't provide a full quote when I don't have all the information needed to build one. I would be guessing at this point and it would be shitty guesses.
Owner: Here's a proposal they got from another company. We need to make it like this [sends file].
Me: They mention a one sentence footnote about what I laid out. Everything else is marketing jargon that I don't know, because I'm a developer, not a marketer. I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, because you're asking the wrong person.
Owner: Are you going to help me or not?
Me: Help you with what? You got my notes. Paraphrase them if you need to, but I have more important things on my agenda, like being a web developer, not a proposal drafter. -
!dev
In the name of my partner: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FILTHY MUSHROOM ADDICT SLAVER! DAMN SUN OF A BITCH!
My partner does her obligatory internship for university. Guess what, the place where she is working offers no payment, 40h a week and even work unrealted to her studies!
She went there with pure enthusiasm and power and this whole non-sense facility of fucktards broke her. She lost her bliss and is really depressed now - mainly because of this fucktard, cock-sucking boss that has no fucking fire anymore and is abusing everyone there mantaly. If not for me she'd get not a songle positive feedback from this whole piece of junk which really, REALLY PISSES ME OF. FUUUCK. How can someone be such a joy sucking prick?
And the university?! They just don't give a fuck because they don't have enough employees to tackle all problems while at the same time their whole organization is the biggest pile if stinky, sleazy shit you have ever seen!! Omg.
Just had to get that out. Fuck.1 -
You know that feeling when you're coding late at night and you get an error that you just can't parse with your tired brain, and go FUCK IT ALL, FUCK IT ALL
I'm having that feeling right about now...
6 -
Man fuck the heat, fuck the chaos and prolonged temporariness of the weeks after uni ends, fuck my executive dysfunction, fuck the job hunt process and fuck my crumbling body that I never bothered to fix because the train ticket was a serious financial commitment and because, again, executive dysfunction.
Fucking hate my situation right now. And the fact that it's not actually bad as far as human situations go doesn't help one bit.2 -
HOW THE FUCK
DO I USE A NPM PACKAGE
THAT DOESN'T SUPPORT IMPORT X FROM PACKAGE
IN A TYPE:MODULE
REPO?
WHY THE FUCK CAN'T NODE JUST SUPPORT BOTH
WHAT IN THE FUCK
HOW DOES WEBPACK LET YOU USE BOTH?!
I CANNOT FIND A WORK AROUND FOR ERROR
SyntaxError: The requested module 'file-type' does not provide an export named 'default'
WHAT THE FUCK?
DO I NEED TO USE A DIFFERENT PACKAGE?
WHAT THE FUCK11 -
The only events around me seem to be strictly for women and "diverse" people... Whatever the fuck that means. I guess fuck who I am as a person, right?20
-
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!! FUCK YOU SPRING-DATA-NEO4J YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY YOU SHIT FUCK !!! FUCK YOU AND YOUR DELETE ON SAVE BULLSHIT!!!! OMFG!!!!!!! EVERYTIME IS SOME FUCKING SHIT THAT DELETES OTHER SHIT THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DELETED!!! JUST FUCK YOU ALREADY IM GONNA REWRITE ALL THIS SHIT!!!!!!!1
-
Fuck Azure, Fuck Windows, Fuck Microsoft.
Half ass baked products in the market. Half the time there's no documentation. When there's a documentation it is so bad that it makes me feel like biting my teeth so hard that I am left with fucking pieces of incisors. My blood fucking boils whenever I need to deal with "POWER"shell. Fucking weaklings.15 -
my code went into an infinite loop of printing "fuck". that happens when u forget to put curly braces and the first line after the if statement is printf("fuck\n");6
-
-six months ago-
"Yo! Let's learn a web framework and build some sick apps!"
"Fuck yeah!"
-yesterday-
"Yo! Should we start doing that thing we talked about?"
"Fuck yeah!" -
Fuck you. Fuck you brain / body / wathever regulate my sleep cycle.
Went to sleep early, 9:30 amazing! Allarm is set to 4:30 I get 7 hours of sleep yay.
But no, let's wake up at 23:30 fully wide awake and do not be able to fall asleep anymore.
Now is 8:11 and on my way to the gym and then work I started yawning and I feel like sleeping.
Seriously? I would pick out that part of my brain, chew it spit it and then throw it to rats to feed on it.
Coffe where the fuck is my cofee??
Oh today is also the day we start an awesome new opencsource project that I was looking forward to. AND I AM TIRED AS FUCK.5 -
Other dev: fuck you, your code can't handle null as input
Me: yeah, because it's kotlin. It's like I added @NotNull, so?...
Other dev: fuck kotlin
Me: fuck you and your nullpointers. Don't pass my precious constructor that crap!2 -
Working as a part time student on an app and until now I thought I was the king of software development.
Well, fuck me and my high horse.
Today the stuff we send from the client to the server didn't arrive, so I asked the backend guy if he could take a look at the packages arriving. He did and told me the data was messed up.
I did only design stuff the last week or so, so I was very confused. After reverting back to one old commit after the other it struck me.
I still don't know how such a dumb mistake could have happened to me, the king of Android apps, but apparently I replaced all occurrences of a specific keyword in just the strings and comments of the whole project. Key became KeyList, so instead of <Keys> my XML contained <KeyList> which made no goddamn sense whatsoever.
Did I mention that we have an important deadline tomorrow? Yeah...
So now I leaned my lesson. Never trust XML.
JK I'm dumb. That's the lesson here. -
Work of a my co-workers good work! It's called colspan you dumb fuck! Best part is that no way I'm changing this coz I work in place where they don't give a fuck about code quality! So fuck it!
6 -
!Dev
Fuck that day, honestly. Today during my driving lesson I was a witness of a car crash literally 5 meters in front of me (the older man cut the road of other guy, that other guy hit the old man's car and old man has hit the lamp post. Good thing no was injured, except of few bumpers, car doors and lamp).
The train which was supposed to take me back to Leiden was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't catch the earlier bus.
When I got off the train, went to catch a next bus, there was huge crowd outside, because police was taking care of the suspicious bag left in front of the train station (pic). Lots of cop, lots of people. Fortunately that wasn't a bomb.
The only positive thing was that I helped some nice Hindi guy find his bus 😁
25 -
Fuck windows, fuck macOS, fuck php, fuck nodejs, fuck this, fuck that....
With all the bashing over everything, I think I’ll go back to VB6... at least no ones hating on that!3 -
Not exactly new, but just so it does not get forgotten:
FUCK ECLIPSE.
Fuck that stupid piece of shit IDE and everything related to it.8 -
The client just complained that the website looks problematic on Internet Explorer 9. FUCK YOU!!! FUCK INTERNET EXPLORER! FUCK ALL OF THIS!!!3
-
Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.
This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦♂️
Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?5 -
I'm forced by my job to use this fucking unusable piece of horse shit also know as a Windows operating system.
And it's not only that I have experienced every fucking corner case bug that is possible to occur in our universe.
Not only that that for last 2 years I seen more blue screen than blue sky.
Not only that forced updates fucked my schedules so many times that now I'm really *afraid* to turn off my computer off because I have zero guarantee that I will be able to restart it in a reasonable amount of time.
No, neither of those broke me.
The thing that kills me everyday is, piece by piece ...
WHY THE FUCK THERE IS NO SINGLE, USEABLE, SANE TERMINAL EMULATOR ON WINDOWS
I JUST WANT TO TYPE SOME COMMANDS, COPY/PASTE TEXT AND SCROLL
IS IT TO MUCH ?????
FUCK CMD
FUCK POWERSHELL
FUCK WSL
FUCK ALL THOSE WANKY THIRD-PARTY EMULATORS
FUCK EVERY-COMMAND-LINE-REALATED THING ON WINDOWS
FUCKING USLESS SHIT
CANT EVEN DO SOME SSH COPY/PASTE SHIT
WITHOUT SOME WEIRD CHARACTERS POPING OUT EVERYWHERE.
AND FUCK THAT EVERY ONE OF THOSE MUST HAVE TOTTALY DIFFERENT SET OF KEY SHORTCUTS
AND THAT FUCKING BELL
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PUT A FUCKING BELL SOUND AS DEFAULT SETTING ??
GO TO HELL MICROSOFT
I WANT MY LINUX BACK7 -
Me yesterday evening:
"Fuck java, fuck JVM, fuck everything about it, shit doesn't work for some reason, no runtime errors, no compiler errors, no syntax errors, nothing, *turns off computer*".
Me today morning(coffee = false), after comparing the documented example code provided by the API with one someone else made, I've noticed that the one provided by the API was messed up and couldn't work.
"Lemme change that one value in the properties...okay here we go"
Shit works out perfectly.
FUCK FALSELY DOCUMENTED CODE
FUCK DOCUMENTATIONS IN GENERAL2 -
No fuck you you are not going to post your shitty generic products with 20mb photos that we host! Fuck off. No it's not "blurry" you fuck wit it's a normal picture in this industry .3
-
Fuck the JavaScript ecosystem; Fuck React, Redux, and a big special fuck you to React-Router. And fuck interviews that give week long assignments.
The whole fucking JavaScript community makes the simplest things so complicated just so that they can tell Backend and Mobile Devs “Hey our job is difficult too”; fuck you, it isn’t! You made it difficult. and so that they can write corny emoji-laden medium articles about it to supplement their meagre income. What’s more the articles are outdated in less than a week.
Fuck JavaScript; APIs changes everyday a week and it’s documentation is updated every decade.4 -
Fuck you JavaScript with your blocks within blocks within blocks, your promises and callbacks, your million of libraries that are doublons or not finished. Fuck you with your assigning variable before functions, fuck you!11
-
FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT10
-
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5 -
Email is horrible.
CSS in email is fucked.
People never check their spam filter / who the fuck knows when the spam filter might decide legit shit is spam.
Every other god damn day some new shit comes up.
Today some sort of either antivirus or email filter or spam / malware detecting shit seems to be crawling every fucking link in an email our customer's send to their customer's.
Activating every option such as declining shit or accepting it... well actually ALL THOSE OPTIONS.
End user can't tell of course so I (and others) have to find this out.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻14 -
I would literally rather find a new job than have to build software that accommodates IE/Edge
That is all.1 -
My lead loves to over engineer crap and waste weeks building complicated solutions.
And then during retro when a team member has the stones to say we should've thought about it a little more or used the input of some other teammates, he shuts them down by saying that more input would've been bad for the design. I can see where he's coming from, but he always seems to have an excuse for us. Why can't he just be more transparent and clear with us? If he has a problem, just say it. That's what retros are for.
Oh and then he takes a shot at me saying that we shouldn't have built a UI in tandem with it. I didn't even recommend a UI for the thing. All I said was that if we ever have a UI, we should consider a database setup that assists both the server and UI. But nooo, he's stuck with this "server design" approach. Everything has to be built to make it easier for the server.
I still don't understand why anyone would have their server logic influence the design. Especially the database. I just seems too targeted. It just creates these nasty denormalized tables.
Ugh... Our team is getting dragged around by this arrogant and silly man. -
Fuck Google , fuck Android and in particular fuck you PlayStore. What the fucking fuck. Wanted to dowload an App -> please free 120mb on the Phone. Did that. Proceeded to download the App. 2.02mb
How the fuck1 -
FUCK YOU VISUAL STUDIO! Fucking IIS site already running when restarting, reinstalling, checking port is open, checking past processes on that port, STILL NOTHING MOTHERFUCKER. Fuck I hate IIS.9
-
Fuck Workday! Fuck any company that uses Workday! Fucking stop parsing resume if you’re bad at it! Fucking stop asking to fill the same information in the resume I just uploaded!4
-
fuck my school. all i had to do was log in to see my grades and what do i get? the fucking stack trace. security? i think not. seriously though, why the fuck would my county want to make their own grading website when the one we had worked just fine? it looks like it was written terribly, the cause was just a bad socket connection and it even gave me the server name and version. i copied it to a google doc (it was already shortened) and it took up seven pages. jesus.2
-
Aaaarrrrgghhhhhhhhh
Out of all the days,
My laptop is lagging today, when I need to things to be done.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
PS. It's so slow, that I ended up searching a meme too.
2 -
Fuck office politics!
Fuck the backstabbers with the knife that vegan black metal chef is using!
Also fuck those blame-gamers that blame other people from the team constantly but stealthy, you know the kind, the one that poisons everyone little by little by its subtle toxicity!5 -
!dev
Well fuck you Epic Games and Deep Silver!
I was really interested in getting Metro Exodus, but I'm not gonna install that shitty Epic Store!
Fuck off!7 -
> be me
> be developing a react native app
>realize the iPhone X notch is clipping your content on the first/home screen of the app
>google says: simple fix
>find a built-in react native thing to add safe area padding
> refresh the app
> ohno.png
> the other screens with navigation bars already have built in padding
> TOOMUCHPADDING.jpeg
> remove safe area thingy
> finds a clever, not particularly hacky way to pad the home screen without showing the header bar by setting its height to 0 and the color to match the content background
> more-problems.app
> there’s a small 1–pixel light colored line separating the header from the content clearly breaking the otherwise continuous single color background
> google.sh
> wtf.txt
> stackoverflow.html
> no responses except something I’d already done
> keep experimenting
> tries basically everything to figure out where that line is coming from
>sets borders to thicccc and bright red
>no bottom border? Ok that’s not it
>opacity?
>forgetaboutit.mov
>try shifting the header position around by a few pixels? Maybe it’s misaligned with the white parent layer underneath?
> nope.jpg
>it’s past bedtime
>Sleep.jpg
>thenextday(today).zip
> what about the content? Is that misaligned?
> nope2.jpg
>Maybe its an iOS feature not a react thing?
> make a test Xcode project, completely native to test
> negative.dng (pun intended)
> more-furious-googling.mp3
> find a native iOS stackOverflow question with the same issue (1px line)
> realize your Xcode test wasn’t done properly.
>atleastimmakingprogress.iso
> start looking into the SO post
>it’s native so I have to find out how to do it in react-native
>invent a bunch of style parameters that don’t exist in the documentation to see if there’s an undocumented thing
>loadsaloadsaerrors.log
>googles for a react native version of the iOS only SO post
> somethingpromising.tar.gz
> *tries it*
> “Haha nope” -my code
> whataboutthisotherthing.bin
> KENSISHSBUCNEGWISBVSIDNRVSIDNFIRJRBDKFNFIDJFIFKFNR
> HOLY FUCK
> IT WORKED
> AFTER TWO FUCKING DAYS OF SHITTERY AND SHENANIGANS
>AND MANY STACKOVERFLOW EDITS TO A NOW VERY MESSY POST
>THEREISNOMOREBORDER(final).zip
>*screams of relief*7 -
Fuck windows and fuck policies that read my hdd as unencrypted forcing me to restart in the middle of a massive data transfer operation. That is all.4
-
Fuck you Eclipse! Fuck you OSGi! It is only you that pisses me off like that! You filthy piece o' shit!
Fuck.
FYI: Please stop pretending you cannot find org.eclipse out of a sudden. I know that it's there and you know that too! Why? Because you found it like 30 minutes ago before my break and nothing changed since then!!
Son of bitch! -
Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. Fuuuuck. I hope and dream of the day people become programmable cyborgs or stupidity is spliced out genetically. Or someone invents an implant that disables the vocal cords when stupid'O'meter goes to the red. Or a system that paralyzes the body temporarily as a fine for stupidity. Or an AI that takes over once shit is approaching unacceptable levels. SOMETHING! Some kind of an incentive for the fucking sheep to develop their little raisins. FUCK!!!?!?!!5
-
One will seldom hear me completely shit about a piece of technology.
But my time has come to do it again:
Fuck RedHat man. Like, really, fuck you. Fedora is fine. Centos is fine. Fuck red hat.
That is all. Thank you.5 -
To make matters even worse, my manager gave the horrible client also access to another clients environment just to 'compare' things, and nitpick over configuration that he is missing, but just hasn't setup yet...
Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck my manager, what a total 🌰🔩🥜nutjob5 -
Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!5
-
Coworker:Awe..
Fuck me...
Fuck fuck.... I fucked up...This fucking url..
..... Fuck. ... Pages
Me. What's going on buddy
Co worker: pages are down
Me: that sucks bro watchu do
Co worker: nothing too bad
Me: 😕 .. ok..
..... I'm still hearing the "fuuhhhcks" , and groans.
Guess who's delivering the news ... Does dev rants give stress beers. -
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS wtffff with that shit , i can't use multisite if running in 8081 port ?, fuck you! your """ cli """, your media folder with that month and year stupid subfolders, your plugins and your fucking unit test running on a complete WP instance. GO FUCK YOURSELF! stop with that shit and remake all that shit.7
-
YAML files are one of the worst type I have ever seen until now. Fuck that shit. And fuck that indentation.3
-
That moment when you just quit your successful paying job just to have more time to study and try to pass the fucking piece of trash math exam.
Fuck my asshole, fuck my life and fuck that motherfucking college degree. If I don't pass, I will eventually kill my self or quit college.
Jeez, I wonder what was in my head when I enrolled in college, oh wait.. Parents, society brainwashed me to think I need top tier education to be a successful computer programmer engineer.
Fuck you society, fuck my brain, fuck everything.9 -
i dont give a fuck why would you take a perfectly good domain name and shit out a fucking 80s useless website THAT DOES NOT EVEN DO ANYTHING
FUCK U
7 -
Fuck Tik Tok or whatever shit that thing is
That shitty commercials are all over google ads. Ok, I have seen that girl enough changing scenes, so please fuck off.2 -
To the devs at inc.com
Fuck you.
Just resign.
Do me a favour. Don't touch any computer for life.
After reading 2 articles I need to login.
Okay fine.
Facebook login fucking doesn't work.
Twitter login worked.
But but fucking take me to some idiotic article. Hello? That was not what I logged for.
Now go back. And fuck fuck fuck
Article still says login to read this.
And click on login. Nope. Nadda. Nothing happens.
How how how. How are you even getting paid?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.2 -
Fuck Google analytics .. seriously .. fuck it .. I understand it's a free tool that doesn't mean you mask your incompetency behind that banner.
Im pretty sure minecraft mods have better documentation than this POS.
I really like the user demographics data it gives , but with the asterisk on literally every other metric it gets harder to believe the ones that are functional.
I cant express exactly how many times I end up with hordes of articles that point out small caveats with this shit.
FUCK IT
2 -
Fuck you windows and your bizarre line endings.
^M (CR) all over the place now, fuck this, going to make an automated tool now that converts all line endings to LF5 -
We're both senior devs, I use nodeJS/Python. Stop forcing your Java *superiority* shit on me. I can write the API using either language. Also fuck your JVM. FUCK THAT SHIT4
-
Me after Linux reinstall: "this is great, now let's get back to work. Let's install the packages, then let's run the test server. What do you mean postgres can't be found? Wait... Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." When you realise that you forgot to backup the test database 😂2
-
FUCK YOU to all the platforms abandoning OpenGL.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT! (defaults opengl 1.1)
FUCK YOU APPLE!
I guess we are moving steadily towards Vulkan.
Is Apple even going to support that?
FUCK YOU APPLE!
And an extra FUCK YOU APPLE! just because they are dicks in general.
Don't think I forgot Microsoft's dickishness: FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!1 -
After 337 Days, I am back again only to say:
Fuck you "Twitter For Developers". I would never ask you for API access anymore.
Fuck you and your fucking policy.
Fuck you and your fucking SMS Service that does not send the fucking SMS.
Fuck you and your fucking API.18 -
Fuck Windows 10
Just fuck it
Another update, the audio won't play using the correct device again.
Says headphones, but plays through speakers, simple things like that every day. Now spend 30 min diagnosing why...
Just fuck it7 -
Fuck, my watch later playlist is full on YouTube. Why the fuck do they limit that? I even pay for premium you fuckers.6
-
Former android fan, I’ve been using iPhone SE for a while, and now I’m ready to give feedback. We are talking about brand new, iOS 11.2.2 device, never jailbraked (jailbroken?) or made anything fucked up to.
The main problem is battery life. It’s poor. I mean, my cheap ass Meizu m3s stands for about three times longer. Now I always need to carry power bank or charger around, keeping it up from one outlet to another.
iOS 11 is unstable and flawed. Music widget on lock screen freezes randomly, ui falls apart sometimes, apps sometimes start in landscape mode. I never found android ui falling apart, just like webpage marked up by interns.
Transferring files to Linux PC is huge pain in the ass. Nuff said.
Aaaand... that’s all. There is literally only three problems present.
On the other hand, there is huge advantages over android:
Speed. It’s unbeatable. It’s absolutely stunning. Need camera? Here it is, quarter second away. Android camera needed straight 15 seconds to start up. Taking picture? Here it is, flawless as always. Zero motion blur, gamma is ideal, focus is so sharp so you may hurt your eyes. Need 100 pictures? Here you go, just press the button and hold it. Maybe s9 or another shiny ass android takes pictures as fast as iPhone, but I bet my iPhone will be taking pictures same flawlessly after 5 years, while your android will probably become sluggish ass piece of crap.
Not. A. Single. Fucking. Lag.
Asphalt 8? 60 FPS all the way down. 2GIS? Fraction of a second away. That’s it, that’s how it have to be.
Sound quality. Just as neat as my Sansa Clip. EarPods are crap, so I’m using my SE215. Not going to ever come back to Sansa. Xperia TX had much less quality audio btw.
Apps. As long as the whole enterprise world sucking Apple’s dick, apps are running silky smooth and the things are not going to change. Come on. Apple is the king nowadays, admit it or not.
Keyboard is amazing. Screen is amazing. It’s just that pleasing. The sounds iPhone makes are great, while android sounds piss me off and making me hold myself from throwing the phone straight to the wall.
iPhone makes me feel cared about. Everything is on it’s place, everything fits perfectly. You are watching YouTube, you need to adjust volume and volume bar appears as tiny strip on the very top, just to not distract you. Make screenshot, draw something on it, share and hit delete. Every action you need is one tap away. Look up word? One tap away. Position the cursor between words? Polished as fuck, here you go, have your handy magnifying glass. Adblock in safari? Install it from the App Store and it will be literally two taps away, right at the settings. No VPN needed. Safari doesn’t become slow with Adblock, it’s just the same amazingly fast browser, but without ads. And Apple Music is just one dollar a month for students, filled with high quality songs.
Even google apps working better on iOS.
The advantages are clear for me, while downsides aren’t significant. @irene, you wanted to know what I’ll tell after a while, so I’m saying it proudly:
I’m never ever coming back to android.12 -
How the fuck can a virtualbox instance run slower on a brand new Mac Pro with four times the ram and cores than the old one that ran sweet?! What the actual fuck....3
-
I don't believe, that I could ever be hired as a software developer... I want to die. I want to die as soon as possible... Fuck this all! Fuck this shitty fucking Life!!!6
-
I'm so glad I'm leaving my company soon. Big international group. At the moment they've started to change everything at our desks to make a giant open-space. Ignoring that literally 100% of the studies prove it's a bad idea for worker productivity and health. And then they dare lie to our faces that it's more productive, increases communication and makes employees happier.
Sure, with that they make savings and can add more desks... for contractors because fuck having real employees right ? It's much better to be able to fire them whenever they want !!
NO IT DOES NOT YOU FUCK FACES
FUCK OPEN SPACES, FUCK YOUR SAVINGS AND FUCK YOU -
After my second 12 hour day this week working on 4 little Mantis tickets that circled around for like 5 times...
Fuck computers.
Fuck technology.
SUCK MY DICK.
Have a nice evening everyone.1 -
The fuck-game:
First I write fuck once, then someone answers that saying fuck twice, followed by either me or someone else saying fuck three times in the same comment.
Person 1
Fuck
Person 2
Fuck fuck
Person 1
Fuck fuck fuck
Person 3
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
The game goes on until someone accidentally types "duck" instead of duck. At that point, the world cries.14 -
Hey, uh, fuck reviving legacy projects. Intern here looking at the shit I have to do and pretty much everything's deprecated by now so yeah fuck that I guess.5
-
Fuck who ever put the `hosts` file in that path WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE TO REMEMBER!
and then fuck who put the httpd-vhosts.conf in a totally different path that is impossible to remember!8 -
Fuck you facebook
Fuck you zuckerberg and your dumb support.
Your fuckin shitty platfoem became even more garbage. You ban accounts for no fuckin reason. People reporting accounts continuously for posts that are in a closed group that the first thing the group description declares that if you feel offended you should just leave and the posr are jokes.
And fuck your support too for not fuckin being helpful while you explain to them that you are targered.
Fuck you, seriously, people can’t even take a joke and you fuckin support them.
I hope your trash platform dies.1 -
How the fuck is possible that my phone counts 1.9 gb used of mobile data and my mobile carrier counts 1.8 gb?!
FUCK YOU TIM AND YOUR FUCKING 28 DAYS7 -
Marketing people are like
"Hey, I have a vision. I need someone to develop this Grab-like app in a few days".
Fuck that CEO, fuck your vision,. fuck your story. Nobody wants to work alone in a large scale application. You need to have a full IT department to do that job with the ability to work through time. -
I'm getting more and more fed up with my fellow colleagues who encounter errors in the execution of their code and come to me like bumbling idiots..." I don't know ow what's wrong ... It's not working"
DID YOU READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE? I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT...EVEN IF ITS NOT 100% CLEAR GOOGLE IT. BET YOU FIND THE ANSWER
To add insult to idiocracy...I recently over heard grumblings of being displeased at current level - fuck off you lazy ass child - if you can't read an error and Google for the damned solution in today's era search engines and developer assistance, you don't deserve to call yourself a "Senior Developer"
People like to act like there's some great secret to becoming a competent developer...I'm posit over half is simple reading comprehension2 -
oh THAT'S why malwiki was down...
what the fuck do you mean amplified the whole internet's dns the fuck does that even MEAN
4 -
Started using typescript and other than the toxic wasteland that is NPM, I'm actually quite enjoying my time. Fuck javascript in the ass, typescript is like a nice dick pic to that ex who called to threaten your life for the third time that day. Different phone numbers every time too. Fuck JS.2
-
When you hate every fucking thing on earth and want to kill everyone on this fucked up planet.
That bug didnt fix. Fuck you.
The client needs answer now. Fuck you.
Stackoverflow user marked it as duplicate. Fuck you in particular.
Fuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkk every fucking asshole. -
Fuck ms, fuck azure, fuck azure b2c, fuck azure b2b, fuck azure ad, fuck ms once again, fuck my company that decided to switch from another hell to this hell1
-
Sometimes the days are so bad that I almost feel like giving up on this, fuck you npm, fuck you angular material constantly changing shit all the time and fuck you fellow dev who keeps fucking around with global CSS stylings
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Method passing as argument.
Fuck you who are doing that.
FUCK YOU !!!!
Use fucking STATIC !!!!!!!!11 -
Fuck you, webpack, just fuck you! Took me three whole days but finally you were the one who gave in. Take that and build!4
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>finally gets around to installing vsftpd on home server RPi
>doesn't work
hmm.mp2
>configurating
>confusing as fuck template documentation
>man page isn't much better
>gets it working
>goes to log in
User: pi
Password: a
(What? It's a home file/command server isolated from the Internet. Sue me.)
nope.avi
>why
>tries again
nope.svg
>FUCK
>sees small raw-command log in bottom-right of phone FTP client
hmm.flac
>tries again, watches log
PASS *****
>the fuck
>goes to change user pass over SSH
# passwd
"Current password?"
about half a second later
"passwd: auth token manipulation denied"
>the delay tho
>WAIT A SECOND
one time i got past some parental software bullshit on a tablet by abusing the delay between opening a banned app and the redirect to the normal software at like age 7. (Doing so let me enable remote wipe through Google. bye bye software!)
>*inner 7 year old has autistic screech*
# nano temp
a
abcdefghi
abcdefghi
^O Y ^X
# passwd < temp
>fucking works
>logs in to FTP server successfully
>does the one file download that was needed
why and how did that fucking work -
fuck the overengineered bulshit that ZF2 is... fuck crappy mvc in web, fuck shitty design, tuck events, fuck 'security feature' that obfuscates the fucking redirect login/logout urls fuck not having your full link, but just the path everywhere, fuck whitelabeling, fuck somebody's sister, fuck me and fuck you....1
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Sure, boss.. All charts will be changed to 3d so that your clients can spend a Fuck ton of ink printing that report page.. That's become fucking ugly cause of your stupid nonsense. Why the Fuck should 3d plotted charts be more readable? 😤1
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Fucking group projects fuck them oh so much fucking fuck fuck fuck.
What's that? You want to basically ignore the spec and do something else? Fuck.
Wait, let's not use the great resources given to us? Fucking fuck.
Oh, you're just going to ignore the fact that everyone else disagrees with you? Fuckity fuck fuck.
I am so angry. You don't get to railroad your team.
You fucker. Ugh. -
FUCK. YOU. AYLIEN.
- For your shitty hashtag generator, that generated #FCBarcelona for a game review
- For your shitty classification endpoint
- For your shitty sentiment analysis that only works in the demo
- For your shitty image tagging that clarifai is way better at
- And for your "semantic labeling" that doesn't work
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU2 -
Fuck antiviruses making your PC so slow that you cannot work. Need to find a way to disable it, fuck security guidelines.10
-
Wait.. how the fuck did Jase get @Jason username?
Does that mean @Jason left dR?
Damn fuck! Another good friend I am trying to connect left the place.6 -
Honestly, Fuck Laravel, Fuck the installation process, Fuck the project setup process and fuck the cmd commands that have to be implemented with it.........But looks like ill be sticking with laravel for now19
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Just fuck the layout preview render errors that randomly happen almost every day and have to restart the fucking IDE.
Just fuck man. -
How to find a skate park:
1. Go drive through neighborhoods.
2. Roll down your window.
3. When you hear: "fuck this, fuck that, that's so sick!" you have arrived at your destination.3 -
Holy fuck, I just found out about 'set -o vi' which allows editing the readline buffer (the command line buffer) using vi bindings. All that wasted time holy fuck me.
1 -
Meetings are the way of parasites to keep shining without doing shit. Why do they gave to drag me into their bullshit meeting?!$&
2 -
Fuck Magento 2 and it's useless documentation. Fuck it for deprecating straightforward stuff for the reason of being to complicated with the warning that the functionality will be removed and then replacing it with a way more complex solution, while internally just using the deprecated stuff and laughing external developers in their face.
Fuck Magento, fuck Adobe.
Just had to say that.... -
I have so much to rant right now. So much. Life is pretty much a tight rope walk right now.
But the project I'm working on right now is annoying. I've ten days to release. It's a website on WordPress. They want complex animated crap using GSAP that fucks readability in the ass. I don't even know how to do animations. I don't JS damn it. Apparently readability is not what we want. We want attention grabbing. It's a fucking government initiative website for crying out loud. Why not put a carousel with my curated list of porn then? They also want the pages to be build using blocks of modules on a page builder so that the client can produce new pages without our help. I still don't have the final designs even. When I asked for the mobile designs, they told me to "just make it look not broken". Uggh.
They spent three weeks making some shit on Squarespace and now they expect me to finish the entire fucking thing with the slutty animations, disgusting text sizes and fucked up designs sense and symmetry in pretty much a week.
And the fucking fuck faced poopy pant regional manager had the balls to tell me I'm not being undersold if I accept his measly offer for a permanent position with a salary less than a 6k per year than what people in my school usually get. -_-5 -
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK
second day I can't configure the stupid pass for mysql root...
I got in, executing maybe 3 diff queries and all seems good, but when I try to use it, nope, is not that
I had to be done already w/ the assignment and here I am still configuring...10 -
Try to upload ipa archive to iTunes. Service is interrupted. Again. Fuck you apple! I was trying to upload that fuck for six damn u punk ass times. Why apple? Fuck you! I'll put the archive on a stick an ram it right into your ass you shitty fuck! JUST TAKE MY BINARY RIGHT NOW!
Don't take it to serious. I'm okay 😎 -
Fuck people who take design suggestions personally.
And that too in an architectural design review.1 -
GODAMNFUUUCKIIIT
WHICH EVER IDIOT PROGRAMMED HALYARD SHOULD DIE A SLOW DEATH IN HELL!!!
A CD TOOL HAVING THE WORST INSTALLER EVER IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE YOU COULD COME UP WITH!!! FUCK NETFLIX FUCK SPINNAKER FUCK EVERY BIT OF SHIT TOOLING THAT COMES FROM IT!!!!! -
ok i'm fucking serious right now. the dumb rocket was going to (now is) the most powerful robot in space. then they had to delay, for HIGH WINDS? what the FUCK? a rocket that can carry 130,000 lbs CANT handle HIGH WINDS. what the fucking fuck fuck fuck. seriously how the fuck fuck fuck. fuck.2
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HOLY FUCK! How can you be that stupid , fuck me Im literally losing business as we speak
(Yes I tried to continue it) #dontgiveup3 -
Fuck these apache2 and nginx configuration that fucking make my life miserable. Why can\'t I fucking edit the files inside /var/www/html? Fuck that. Why can\'t I access a subdirectory inside it? Fuck! In Node.js, you can fire up your server pretty easily. Then you tell us that JavaScript sucks? Fuck me dead.21
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Fuck virtual network networking holy shit why is it so hard to just setup simple architecture that took me 2 hours fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i need a hard scotch
But so satisfying now that i understand it.1 -
Hugo framework:
1 hour to set it up
1 day to read the documentation
1 eternity to actually fucking deploy it5 -
Who the fuck thought that in react useState should return an array and not an object. It makes me wanna make a wrapper that would instead return {current, set} = useSaneState('fuck you') because what the fuck does it have to do with arrays. And an object with shit.current would be consistent with useRef.
Also, vue is just superior in naming and coding standards.6 -
public Geopoint(double latitude, double longitude)
{
Latitude = latitude;
Longitude = Longitude;
}
Me: "why is the longitude always 0"
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Good job that didn't make it onto Nuget... oh, wait, yeah it did.6 -
What infrastructurial fuck / poor design happened that Tinder does not allow changing the profile nickname? Did some enlightened celestial cunt thought of using the nick as a primary key or what the fuck?3
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For fucking 8 hours, I'm not able to get the text on a div that populates after a ajax on a SPA.... Fuck fuck fuck3
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I found that we cannot fuck any software or something like that, but those bitches can fuck us with errors, damn it :/
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Tryna search for my new self inspired sexiest domain name if available but the fucking page keeps bringing up that fucking recaptcha asking me for some fucking description about some fucking cars, fucking roads, fucking bridges, dunno if that was my fucking business!
I want you to stop asking me shitty questions cause i'm a fucking robot. Hence i wrote a script that would change the typo from "i'm not a robot" to "i'm a f*cking robot" any time i visit any fucking page requesting for my fucking identity!
Fuck Google!, Fuck Recaptcha!, Fuck Hostgator! Fuck Security! Fuck them all!!!
2 -
I guess i have to be thankful for not knowing whomever wrote this fucking piece of shit of a PHP app that i have to fix stupid bugs in a daily basis.
Cause if i did know the bastard.. i'm pretty sure i would fucking bash his useless head in with anything i had in my hands at the moment... FUCK!.
The level of ignorance and stupidity.. i can't even begin to comprehend.
The worst is that we can't even rewrite this fucking piece of buggy shit cause the bosses are so fucking proud of their deformed creation and wont pay us decently to even to that in the first place.2 -
I really hate these TestDome tests. Fuck!!!! I just done ruined my chances of getting that job after that great interview 🤕1
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That moment a user inspects element and see the html code and calls you that there are Errors on the app. Fuck fuck
-
when the stack trace wasn't included in the error logging
fuck me, how the fuck am i supposed to know where the exception occurred
perhaps i've taken it all for granted thinking that the default toString implementation of an exception would've included that5 -
Hyper-V have one job and fail it ... Fuck micro$hit product ! Install Ubuntu on hyper-v lag as fuck ... Why why you do that mother fucker2
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Fuck SSRS!
Fuck rsweb:ReportViewer!
Fuck MS Report Builder!
Fuck the people on the internet that made this all seem like it was feasible and easy!5 -
It is currently 5:30 AM, I've been trying to upgrade a server by one single major OS release for the last 3.5 hours. All major apps were no issue, except one.
Redmine.
That thing runs on Ruby.
Ruby, as it turns out, doesn't really like the way Debian handles package management.
And now, I have Redmine that, even if I completely uninstall / reinstall, won't start
I went down several rabbit holes, trying to operatively find what the issue is. But I never got to the key issue.
Fuck ruby. Fuck Redmine. Fuck nothing-saying error messages. Fuck bundle. Fuck gem. Fuck it all.
I'm redirecting the Redmine domain onto the server backup I've made. Upgrading that thing is a nightmare.
Maybe now I can finally go to bed...5 -
What had to be a nice day:
So last week a friend asked me if I wanted to come.
Some days (2) later I said ok and asked him what time.
I’m also doing a project with him (he isn’t a dev), so I thought I add new features and show him the ideas.
Yesterday he wrote a message: “My family is coming, Sorry, I need to cancel”
I’m so angry. I worked long on these features to make him happy, and show ideas. And then when nearly everything is done he cancels.
I don’t know what so tell him/do. What would you do?3 -
The fact that Windows 10 needs its own bootloader as the primary to update and fuck up GRUB is beyond me, so much for “supporting Linux”. Fuck you Microshit.
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