Client: Where are we with the project, it's been a week and I see nothing.

Me: You asked me to do something that was not in the agreed scope of work, which has kept me from starting on the project.

Client: Do I need to plan out everything in advance on paper for you to get it done in a timely manner?

Me: Is that a serious question? Yes, you should. That's the whole point of creating a scope of work. It's to allow me to schedule out the time necessary to build out a product in a "timely manner".

Client: I don't appreciate your attitude. This is not how you should be doing business if you like making money.

Me: I don't appreciate your condescending, unreasonable, dickhead mentality that makes you think it's remotely okay to act like you're better than me. Money doesn't grant you the right to be a dickwad, and just because I'm being paid doesn't mean I have to put up with any level of arrogance or disrespect.

I am in this business to make money, but not at the cost of my dignity and self-respect. You will be receiving a full refund later today, not because I have to provide a refund, but because I never want to communicate with you ever again moving forward. Take your unacceptable bullshit somewhere else.

  • 25
    Wait did you actually tell them this? If so, bad ass man.
  • 53
    @jhh2450 Yeah I told him this. I don't kiss a client's ass. If they're being an asshole and it's the wrong day, I'll dump them. I got into this to be my own boss, so I'm certainly not gonna let someone who's paying me think it's okay to be an asshole.
  • 10
    @JMoodyFWD Wish I could give you a big wedge of ++’s. Respect!
  • 3
    You have said : Don't fuck with me I am not everyone
  • 4
    @JMoodyFWD your name says it all 😎
  • 53
    UPDATE (just got off phone call with client)

    Client: I just got the money back. Can you just suck it up and do this work for me? It was difficult enough finding you, and I can't afford trying to find and vet another developer.

    Me: Sure, I can "suck it up", but the price just went up by 20%. If you would have apologized, I would have let bygones be bygones, but the fact you just don't get it is going to cost you if you want to continue doing business. Take it or leave it.

    Client: Fuck that and fuck you! [hangs up]


    I take it that's a no?
  • 4
    Wtf. Well played sir, well played
  • 4
    @JMoodyFWD O.o 😂😂😂😂😂😂👍👍👍
  • 4
    Clients tend to forget that you’re a business too. Do they treat their other trading partners this way? I doubt it.

    They seem to think because you’re a person doing a thing for money they can treat you like shit.
  • 2
    On a related note. I got in trouble at a previous perm role all the time for my communication.

    I had this dickwad person at another company trying to pin an issue on us, and reckoned it was because we’d switched to hitting their https endpoint. I told them it was “irrelevant”

    To which I was gifted the “I’m the customer, nothing is irrelevant and I don’t like your tone” email with my boss cc’d.

    We ended up having to host them at some bullshit peace offering day, where the two faced bastard reckoned it was just a heated conversation and we can all agree that acting with respect and understanding a good idea.

    Guess what the cunt proceeded to do a few days later?
  • 1
    @CapnHammered Thanks! Phalcon is pretty fun actually! I built a full CMS for a client out of it and to say the performance is fast is a huge understatement. It definite has it's quirks at times with really advanced things, but overall it's really clean to work with and I'm kinda digging using Volt as a templating engine.
  • 3
    There should be a dev blacklist for clients. Why isn’t that made yet?
  • 1
    When I was a LAMP stack freelancer a long time ago that was exactly the attitude I approached my clients with.
    You (client) are not my employer.
    You desire my service and pay me money for it.
    You know nothing.
    You act disrespectful - I explain to you why you are a waste of oxygen and cut out of the deal (as was stated in the contract by the way).

    These peaces of shit need to be shown how worthless they are.
  • 1
    That client obviously isn't familiar with the concept of a product owner.
Add Comment