Best co-worker quitting story?

"T" I've refereed to in previous rants knew he was close to being fired, so he jumped ship. 'T' sent the usual "I'll miss you guys" email to the department, except me (and a few others that didn't fall for his BS and not scared of him). His mistake was he sent the email out a day early (buddy forwarded me the email) and left the stuff (box of pics, books, etc) he planned on taking with him. One item in particular was a new company provided laptop bag, which technically wasn't his to keep (supposed to leave/turn-in any company provided equipment), so I grabbed the bag and hid it.

The next day I heard him slamming drawers (looking for the bag) and a loud cursing. Other devs peeking over the walls asking what's wrong.

Dev1: "Dude, what's up? Whatcha' looking for?"
T: "Nothing...fuck!...damn it...nothing...assholes...fucking assholes!"
Dev2: "Who's the ass? What's wrong?"
Dev3: "Need help looking for something?"
T: "No..no...nothing...I'm fine...making sure I don't forget anything."

'T' never found out who took the bag and I've had that laptop bag underneath my desk ever since.

  • 9
    Sorry not to float your boat, but... What a mature thing to do, instead of just being happy to finally be rid of him.
  • 4
    Sounds petty.
  • 8
    preventing a pain in the ass to steal office equipment which does not belong to him is "petty" and "not mature enough", right....

    because having the "stealing is wrong, you know" talk with him would be definitely a pleasant experience
  • 2
    He's going, let him have the damn bag. I haven't read the previous 'T' posts but it sounds like he's the one dodging the bullet.
  • 4
    @aviophile > "Sounds petty"

    It was and immature.

    Still probably better than sign/card I was thinking about making to leave on his desk.

    "Good riddance, you racist, valor stealing, homophobic, male chauvinist pig and worthless example of a man. Don't let the door hit your fat ass on the way out."

    Which the cry baby would have wobbled to HR, HR pulls in all the usual suspects (* a lot * of people didn't like T).

    HR: "Wow...full room...guys, not nice. Who left the note?"

    <chuckles and silence>

    Me: "I'll confess if you can tell me which one of those items isn't true."

    HR: "<sigh> ...yea...OK....If anyone asks, we yelled at you. Next time, let assholes quit without all the drama."
Add Comment