Installed Linux on an old windows laptop. This is my conversation 5 minutes ago...

Wife: "Have how you got internet?"
Me: "What do you mean, it has a wireless adapter built in?"
Wife: "But it's not Windows?"

WTF!!!

Me: "Pass my phone, this is going on devRant"
Wife: "Please no, not again"

*Mom shows me laptop ad of 3000 bucks with the most overkill specs ever*

Mom: "Son, will this laptop run Google?"

Me: "Do you want to surf Google or actually run Google's server?"

Mom: *looks confused*

"I also want to use Fesabook on it"

Me: *brings her a 5 year old laptop with a new ssd in it*

*has an old i3, 8gb ram and no gpu*

Mom: "This laptop is super fast! Thanks son!"

*One hour later*

*Mom calls*

"Son, I think the laptop broke"

Me: "What? What happened?"

Mom: "I pressed a button and now all the keys are lighting red" (backlit keyboard)

Me: "You can choose the color of your keyboard mom"

Mom: "Ooh! How do I make it pink?"

Me: "You can only choose between red and blue..."

Mom: "What a ripoff"

*Hangs up the phone*

NSA: Hey, its looks like you a bit lonely
Me: Yeah sort of

CIA: (Retrieves list of facebook friends), why not hook up with these people
Me: Not interested

FBI: The girl across your room seems to be interested in you
Me: Nah not interested

CIA: We can send someone to keep you company if you want
Me: thanks, not interested

NSA: A girl winked at you at the cafe yesterday
Me: Didn't notice

CIA: What of the lady you spoke to on the phone earlier
Me: Too old

FBI: Can you please move your webcam to the left a little
Me: Bruuuuuhhhhhh!!!

So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)

C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?

----

And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!

My first job was a statistical program that i wrote during a trainee at a local IT department.
My boss liked it and told me I could keep the sources and the copyright.
Then he made some phone calls and helped me to find my first clients.

Since that time I am working on the same program.
I founded a software company and have a good life now.

My old boss retired some years ago, but some of the team are still there.
From time to time I visit the department having a coffee with old friends.

That trainee was nearly 30 years ago.

The spam denier
_____

An old phone conversation with a client:

Me : Hello

Client : My website and server are suspended? why is that?

Me : Your server sends spam messages.

Client : We do not send spam messages, we are on vacation, there is none in the office.

Me : Yes, but it is not necessarily you, according to our logs, your server sent spam messages in Chinese and Russian, so someone from Russia or China....etc.

Client : I do not believe you, we do not speak russian or chinese, how could we then write spam messages in those languages?

Me : I told you, maybe someone exploited some vulnerability in your website or server firewall. And if you want to activate your services, please check with your webmaster and sysadmin to secure your ....

Client: I tell you my son, because I am old and I have more life experience than you ... I am 60 years old and I tell you, spam does not exist, and YOU suspended my website and server, and created issues to sell me more of your solutions and services.

I won't check my server, I won't hire a webmaster or a sysadmin, AND YOU WILL ACTIVATE MY SERVER NOW !

(I suddenly realized that I am talking to a wall, so I switched to a robotic tone).

Me : Please resolve the issue to activate your services..

Client : YOU WILL ACTIVATE MY S...

Me : Please resolve the issue to activate your services...

Client : WHAT IS THIS SPAM STORY ANYWAY, I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ...

Me : Please google that word and you will understand what is spam is...

Client : YOU ARE F**ING LIARS, SPAM DOES NOT EXIST... ACTIVATE MY WEBSITE N.... Beeeep !

I hang up.

Well, I thought about configuring an automatic response for this client, or a for-loop.

His voice was really unpleasant, as if he is a heavy smoker.

The original story:
"When I've got my very first android I was downloading any shit from Play Store. There was app called pattern security or something like that. The app was taking selfies everytime power button was pressed several times and then photo would sent to email. One day I left my old phone at home and at the office this is the photo i've received."

Waiting for a bus. And there is a 14 year old smoking and looking after 3 10 year olds. She then gets them to role her 'fags' and then they all smoke. They are blaring rap from a speaker I'm annoyed everyone is annoyed.

They get on a bus full of elderly people.

Then I have my moment. I hear they are switching phone that the speaker is paired to, for different music. They even say the device name! I quickly get my phone search Bluetooth devices and pair. I connected all I could think was play the tweenies. And so I did.

They have hysterics of laughter, but I try act neutral containing my laughter. They keep saying they can't connect and that it's not their music. This went on for 10 or so minutes of them turning volume up and down. Until they catch on someone else is paired to it. I turn off my Bluetooth and get off the bus, you are welcome society.

The way 90% of the population wears their face masks really explains a lot about their approach to using software, apps & websites as well.

I feel like giving up.

I am not a developer for the salary, or just to solve analytical puzzles. Those are motivators, but my main drive is to make the world more comfortable and enjoyable, better optimized, build ethical services which bring happiness into people's lives. I want to improve society, even if it's just a tiny bit.

But if users invest absolutely zero percent of their limited brain capacity into understanding a product that already has a super-clean design and responds with helpful validation messages...

...why the fuck bother.

I used to think of the gap between technology and tech-incompetent people as an optimization problem.

As something which could be fixed by spending a fortune on UX research. Write tests, hire QA employees, decrease tech debt, create a bold but unified & simple design.

But the technologically incompetent just get more entitled with every small thing you simplify.

It's never fucking fool-proof enough.

Why can't I upload a 220MB PDF as profile picture? Why doesn't the app install on my 9 year old Android Froyo phone? Why can't I sign up if my phone number contains a  U+FFFC? Why does this page load so slowly from my rural concrete bunker in East Ukraine? WHY DO I HAVE PNEUMONIA, HOW DID I GET INFECTED EVEN THOUGH I WAS WEARING A MOUTH MASK ON MY FOREHEAD?

This is why I ran away from Frontend, to Backend, to DBA.

If I could remove myself further from the end user, I would.

At least I still have a full glass of tawny port and a huge database which needs to be normalized & migrated.

Fuck humans, I'm going to hug a server.

So my Girlfriend bought a new iPhone at Verizon today. Cool story, I know, but here's where it's gone from there.

Firstly her debit wouldn't run as credit, so we used mine but that's the least of it (but began it).

So she has 16,000 photos... Alot, sure, but not the issue. Obviously with that amount of data she wasn't about to reasonably use iCloud to back it up (understandable only by me) so she was confronted both by me and the Verizon employee about this issue to where we both (the Verizon employee and I) agreed that an iTunes backup/restore was the only way to preserve her data. She was confused. No worry, told her I had it handled and the Verizon employee agreed. Great. Yet we get home and begin the process. My girlfriend was not on the latest iOS (understandable given the battery scenario and she was on an iPhone 6) and this was ridiculous to her because she had to update in order to do the iTunes back up. Whatever, I brushed it off. Her phone was updated, and backed up... Which took a while but we are talking 30gb (of which she had no understanding of how much that was). After the back up we discovered her new phone wasn't working due to a bad sim, great, no problem we have the old one... But oh no. "I don't want that shitty old sim" she said. Uhmm what... I say, and say let me get an earring (to switch the Sims) and she gave one to me and as soon as I went to pop the tray, she had a fucking heart attack as if I was demolishing her phone. I talk her down, get it switched, get the phone to restore (slow process as she's complaining... 30gb mind you) and it works. She goes to bed. Comes back, texts aren't working. I say imessages or texts (now she has no idea) I troubleshoot, seems nothing's working, and that's okay Verizon must of reinstated the new sim and deactivated the old (fine). I switch them and it works. She proceeds to berate me about the SIM cards because she didn't want the 'old shitty one' (the one that got us to the place of a functioning phone).

Now everything works and she claims a Genius bar employee would of done this in minutes.

I (obviously) lose my shit, now I'm sleeping on the couch.

Im an IT professional / programmer..... this shit really ticked me off.

Today at school I borrowed an oscilloscope and a few capacitors and used a circuit I made at home to just demonstrate the discharge of a capacitor, since my physics teacher asked me to teach the class about this on Friday
So it's one of those old analogue scopes, so to get a nice line I turned the speed right down and did a long exposure shot with my phone and it turned out brilliantly!

6pm - arrive home from work, log into my computer and start working on side projects.

4am - Finally go to sleep after staying up all night setting up arch in a vm.

7am - Start drive to work in the snow and ice.

7:20am - car runs out of wiper fluid.

7:30am - round corner so that I’m driving towards the sun, windshield is covered in mud and I have 2% visibility.

7:35am - take off ramp towards gas station so I can buy fluid and wash window.

7:36am - Car mysteriously parked in center of off ramp, nearly smash it but have a narrow miss.

7:40am - can’t find the freaking pully in new car to pop hood

7:41am - found it.

7:50am - drove the back way to work because it cuts out traffic, but includes many steep hills that I forgot existed, come to a skid at bottom of one and am pushed out into the main road, luckily nobody is coming and I’m able to continue on my merry way.

8:01am - sit down in desk, lead staff person comes over evoking Lumbergh from Office Space and lets me know I need to be on time to work and that the snow doesn’t give me an excuse. I agree and smile and suck up and he leaves.

8:02am - pull out phone to write down notes about personal project that I thought of on drive here, phone dies. I forgot to plug it in last night.

8:04am - found power bank charger thing in desk but it uses a micro-b type usb and I only have usb type c on me.

8:10am - borrow usb from old headset in office surplus.

8:11am - writing notes. Have sudden realization that I didn’t shut down my vm and that when my computer went to sleep and subsequently locked it probably halted virtualbox and everything would be lost for the second time.

8:12am - got on devRant.

Found my one year old daughter with my phone, browsing devrant

Who taught her that?

This is an old rant from over 10 years ago in my first job at 19. I was tasked with turning off one of our clients email because they had left the company. Easy enough, logged into cPanel, job done. Later that day I get a phone call from the clients company asking if there was a problem with the email. No I said, everything should be fine, I did remove a 'joe.bloggs@blah.com' email address as instructed because... *reading job bag*... they had left the company. The client then said, that's my email you've turned off and hung up. Turned out he had been fired and no one told him. I felt horrible. I will always remember that conversation 😓

Benefits of being a dev:
Wife: "I just wish I had a program that could organize all my shit for my [work-from-home outside sales] job. My old company had much better software."
One week later:
Me: "Here honey: I built a program that will organize your business leads, allow you to search them by city, street, phone number, it detects when you have multiple businesses with one owner, warns you of duplicate information before you add it, and you can now launch phone calls with the click of a button. I've also put an app on your phone that can send and receive data from the main program."
One hour later:
Giggity giggity.

One year ago, I quit my job in order to "make life easier". And by that I mean work+home in the same city. I went from 40 minutes commute - to 3 minutes. I had a blast the first week.

Then I realized that it was actually a mistake. I did not like working with "that kind of systems" and "that kind of tasks". It was tedious, stupid, and I was angry every, single day because the previous ones had built a system on 10-15 year old hardware because "it is cheaper".

That continued for a year. I discovered new stupid "solutions" every week that was potentially dangerous for the company. It built up a huge pile of shit and I started to feel that my mental health was disappearing, fast.

And equipment such as servers, switches, routers, storage started to fail because of age. Despite my warnings from day 0 to the CEO who only kinda laughed it off and said "you can to solve that", but I never got the approval to actually buy the equipment that was needed. Because "the company did'nt have the money for it". Somehow, the company had the money to buy expensive cars for the CEO - I can't really figure out that equation.

So today, one VERY old UPS died at our office. It caused some powerspike that killed off some switches and a NAS.
"Whatever" I thought, I just have to find the backup of the files and get a new one.

Then I discovered, that the NAS that acted as a iSCSI target for VM's and document storage was backed up using VEEAM on another server - that was configured to backup everything to the same NAS. I just wanted to cry, because I could not take anymore shit.

So I picked up my phone, called my old employer and asked if I could start working for them again. My old boss got insanely happy and gave me a great offer which I immediately accepted.

So tomorrow, is the day that I am going to walk into my current boss and say that I will quit. My last day will be on Christmas day. And I will start my new year with a few weeks off, and then back to the job that I actually loved.

Life is to short to work with something you hate.

1998 talk: Copy the Internet

I was surfing the web on my good old windows 98 pc, a younger friend comes to my place and sees me using IE. Sudently he asks:
Friend: What is that program?
Me: It's Internet Explorer.
Fr: - What is it for?
Me: - Well, you can write something here, (url), to go to different sites, search for stuff you like, participate in foruns, etc...
Fr: - Oh yeah, I know what that is, my cousin also has that in his PC, but I don't.
...(Little pause)...
- Can you copy the internet for me? Because I don't have it.
Me: You can't copy the Internet! You need a phone connection.
Fr - But I'll give you a floppy disk, you put that program there, and then I can use it too.
Me - The shortcut won't give you Internet!

I think I ended up copying the shortcut of IE to him, just to prove my point.
The funny thing is that the link really worked because he also had IE in his machine, while not in the workspace, however it was exactly in the same folder location as mine, but obviously he didn't had a wired phone connection.

Fr - "Maybe I need to copy something more! The program opens but it doesn't show anything."

Okay, time to delete my old Skype account
1. Enter Skype name
2. Reset password
3. Captcha
4. Complete email
5. Enter email code
6. You are logged in now, please complete your profile first
7. Enter birth date
8. Add your phone number or second email address
9. Create new outlook mail
10. Got access to profile settings
11. Click on delete profile
12. Stop please first verify your email again
13. Enter code
14. Check all checkboxes that I am really sure to want it deleted
15. Click delete button

Fuck hell and that all again for my second account

Mam: Hey can I ask you a question about Facebook?

Me: (Christ give me strength) ... sure whats up?

Mam: You know when you get a notification and you click on it and see what someone uploaded?

Me: ... you are not on Facebook, you can't be getting notifications

Mam: well I do. Is it possible to...

Me: No hang on a second, it is 110% not possible for this to happen. Something else is going on that you think is a notification.

Mam: You know when you are on, and you see a message like "12 new notifications"

Me: on? on what? this is happening on your phone is it? Can I see?

Mam: No its on my laptop at home.

Me: ... you have an old laptop with an old windows, you can't get notifications on it.

Mam: OH FOR GOD SAKE! ... you know when you are in your emails and it says "12 new notifications"?

Me: ... right so we are talking about EMAILS about unread notifications and not getting notifications on your phone. So you have an old account then that you don't use?

Mam: Yeah I don't know the password to it, haven't logged in, in years.

Me: of course

Mam: Right anyway. When I get one and click on it, lets say its about you, can you see me reading your notifications?

Me: ..... you can't not read my notifications.

Mam: uh, can you see me reading your emails then smart arse?

Me: ... can't do that either.

Mam: So what the hell am I doing then?

Me: You are reading a post someone uploaded, which you got alerted to from an email.

Mam: Right, can you tell when I've read your POST then?!?!?!

Me: no

Mam: was that so hard?

Me: ... yep

My old phone is not useless anymore.

!rant

The Sound of Typing (an original dev parody of "The Sound of Silence")

Hello caffeine, my old friend
I've come to sip on you again
Because my mind continues sleeping
While overpiled work is creeping
And the deadline that is flashing upon my screen
Can't be unseen
Within the sound of typing

Down the lines of buggy code
I quickly switch to debug mode
What kind of moron wrote this function?
For this unnecessary junction?
Wrapped in a condition that will always return true
I need a brew
To forget the sound of typing

Boss said I you do not know
WordPress like a cancer grows
A one page website doesn't need that
Still I wear my debug hard hat
And when I sleep I still see the same terror
Fatal error
Echoed in the sounds of typing

And every time I leave my home
I must launch chrome on my phone
The constant messages and phone calls
The chiming echoes through the halls
While I frantically fix some FooBar'd CSS
BUT I don't have LESS
Deep in the sounds of typing

And when I think I have it done
Some scope creep ruins all my fun
So now I force through an all-nighter
While I forge on like a fighter
But the project I thought was due on next Friday
Changed to Monday
Within the sound of typing

This is a long rant. Sorry in advance. I just want to let it all out.

I don't really know what John (not his real name) did to my boss, who I shall name as Steve. Does he have a personal grudge? Like wtf?

John wasn't even incompetent. He even helped us mobile developers in our designs using photoshop. He's flexible. Ok sure, he isn't a top performer, but he isn't a low performer either. But why the fucking hate? really.

We currently have a new project, and are assigned to our posts. Then Steve goes, "Ok John, you will remain in the old project." He already said it once, which is fine. But did he really have to bring it up EVERY TIME? "John doesn't have to go overtime because he's in the old project, so it'll only be us." Like really? Of course we know that. why do you have to keep repeating that John isn't included? He even pointed at John during this. John shouldn't have been in the meeting then. Dipshit.

There was a meeting with the Web team in regards to what the progress was. When it came to John, Steve had to say, "The design is so ugly." Ok.. first off, you are not the QA to say that. And everyone else says it's fine. Even the QA says it's fine. So wtf? Why do you hate him so much?

We have these friday meetings in where we present our topics to the team, like Object Oriented Programming, SDLCs, and the like. We presented our stuff, and Steve listened attentively to everyone. But when it came to John, guess what? he ain't listening. He's on his phone, on his EARPHONES even. fucking rude. When John finished, he said, "You didn't present everything." He talked for an hour and a half. His topic has many things. Of course he can't present everything. And that is all you have to say? What about the others then? The others didn't present everything but you didn't complain. Why do you have to humiliate him to everyone else?

Way to demoralize your employee. What a lead. Fucking piece of shit. I am treating John pizza since I can't do anything else for him. It's frustrating. I wouldn't be surprised is John left the company.

So i was working with a small company which were developing software for insurance sector. It was decided then that there should be an app for windows phone community and i was hired to that job.

It took me almost a month to finish the job. Please keep in mind that project was huge and already developed for android counterpart and was a hit in market. This was a chance given to me to prove myself and i proved it.

First month was fantastic for the company as software the company made was not available for windows phone. Price has been set for the software was higher in those time. Almost $15.

Excited by the success i added some more features which were not available on android counter part.

But price was very high. Even i asked management to drop the price because there were less windows phone user but no body listened.

Result : in a year app has made roughly 5000 download in which only 200 paid the actual price. Company asked me to take down the app from store. I was blamed for my over confidence in adding features that this made app less usable. They did not say a word to business managment team. I was fired.

Rough, cruel world.

6 month ago i published my app for same purpose with same feature set and different UI. And made it free. Completely free. Added a link to pay developer $0.5 or Rs 30.

Result: i have now 10 thousands plus download in last 4 month in which almost 3000 users have donated already.

Now i have my resource and my confidence and making an android app for same purpose.

This is my story and is not fake, i am 28 years old. If you think you can, you can.

Amen.

Does my old computer count?
2016:
Windows XP
Visual Studio 2010
1GB RAM
An old Pentium inside
I am now worried that both Raspberry pie 3 and my phone, both costing less have better specifications

Guys...

DevRant logged in automatically on my new phone. I don't know how I feel about this.

Or maybe I've already forgotten.

Help. I'm getting old and senile.

My first hack... Back at the days when phones had disks to dial a number. I was a kid of cause, I'm not that old. I used to like to call my grans. Once, when I supposed to go to sleep already, I've found out that there is phone socket in my room (the one connected to the copper wire, that is where the word "phone line" came from).
It took me about a half of an hour to detach handset from the toy phone and about two ours to reverse engineer dialing protocol (you just need to disconnect the line sequentially corresponding number if times).
And after that I've heard my granny's voice. I was literally overwhelmed that it worked.

One of my best mentors was my father!

When i was very, very young (like 8 years old), he brought a new computer from his work! The first thing he did was play Doom (lol) but later, he always tried to show me all the things that could be done, coding in VB6.

He always told me: "You can use this to make the computer do what you want to do! You can do many things!". Even if at that time I did not understand much, he always tried to explain me how to develop a calculator or even a "Hello World" but with the name of my mother.

I will never forget his face of happiness, when I simulated a face that blinked with a counter. I do not even remember how I did it, but he hugged me so hard lol.

A couple of years ago, he was the first to try my first application on Android: An application that screamed when you shook the phone lol. He laughed a lot with that application.

He helped me in my university and we even developed several solutions together for different companies. Now we work separately, but he was an important part of what I am now.

PS: My english is kinda rusty, so forgive me ><.

An entire night I've spent on this shit.. preparing wires, soldering them on the motherboard, and finally connecting everything up to current meters, my PC's USB port and a lithium cell from my old Doogee phone that I still had laying around. All in the hopes to get an adb shell. But all in vain.. the turd doesn't even want to boot up. What a fantastic waste of time 😑
(Apologies for the terrible picture quality btw, this tablet's camera is absolute garbage)

Windows Phone...😦

If you are a salesperson, you can just go straight to hell. You're all a bunch of cocksucking twats and I'm amazed you manage to get yourselves dressed each day. You're a no good fucking waste of oxygen and you need to put your fork in a socket the next time you're eating.

I'm working on building a crm and ticket management system for use in the office to handle client passwords. Since I'm building from scratch I wanted to make sure I had properly planned my classes and functions before opening the code editor so I put a message on my door that says "Don't interrupt, thanks" followed by the date so people knew it was a fresh message and not something left from the previous day.

I'm deep in the zone, the psuedo code and logic is flowing, I'm getting classes planned and feeling really productive for an hour or so when suddenly my door flies open and in comes a sales person.

SP: "Hey, do you have any extra phones lying around? Mine's being slow and keeps hanging up on people."

Me: "Do you see the sign on my door right there at eye level which says not to bother me?"

SP: "oh, do you want me to come back later?"

Me: "You've already interrupted me now, let's go see what's going on before I spent an hour setting up a new phone for you." While we are walking across the office I asked him when the last time the phone rebooted.

SP: "idk, Salesperson#2 suggested that as I was headed over here but I figured I'd just ask you."

We get over to his desk and I see he has two phones sitting on his desk. "Where did this one come from?"

SP: "Oh that was on the desk over here but I figured I could use it."

Me: "Well aside from the fact that the phones are assigned to specific people for a reason, you took the time to unhook your phone to set this one up and you didn't think to reboot your phone first. Plug your phone back in."

He plugs the old phone, which is assigned to him, and while booting it does a quick firmware update and boots up fine. He tests a few things and decides it's all better now.

So someone suggested a fix for you and you decided, instead, you would break company IT policy by moving equipment from one station to another without notifying the IT department. You entered a room which had a closed door without knocking, and you disobeyed the sign on the actual door itself which politely requests that you go away. All because you couldn't be bothered to take 2 minutes and reboot your phone, which you had to do anyways.

You completely broke my train of thought and managed to waste 2 hours of effecient workflow because you had an emergency.

TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.

10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.

Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.

Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.

Thanks for reading.

Me: takling to a colleague on Skype for business

My 3 year old son: what are you doing?

Me: talking on the phone

Son: that's not a phone

Me: ... That's right, it's called Skype. But its' executable is called lync.exe. It's just trying to pretend to be Skype. Repeat after me: lync

Son: lync

Me: great! Stay away from lync. It's evil!

So I says to the wife, I says, “When you go to Costco tomorrow, I need a new Oral B electric toothbrush. My old one’s battery is no longer able to hold a charge.” I’m picturing her coming back with one that’s pretty similar to the one I had. You turn it on, you brush your teeth, you turn it off.

She comes back with the Oral B Pro 6000. Go on. Look it up. I’ll wait.

So this thing has about 6 modes and Bluetooth that connects you to an app that not only keeps track of how often you brush, but tracks your performance and gives you trophies if you do well at specific tasks and techniques. And there’s a coach to take you on an “oral health journey” depending on your particular goals. There’s even a mount you can buy to attach your phone to your mirror so the app can watch how you brush and give you pointers. I don’t have the mount so I got an 85% on performance because who can hold a phone pointed perfectly at your face while brushing? The final report had what might be the app dev’s attempt at a pun.

It’s 2019 and everyone is judging you. Why not your toothbrush as well?

So this was only a few weeks ago. A client told us to turn our Android/iOS app into an app compatible with his phone - it needed to work online/offline and it needed to be able to take photographs. We didn't have much to go on but after a few calls we figured out he was using a very old Nokia (Snake era) that didn't even have a camera.

The hardest part was getting him to understand why we couldn't make the app.

I've uncovered the complot.

I clearly remember buying my first monitor, it was 15 inch, 1024x768. Then I went to a 19 inch 1680x1050 one, then 24 inch 1080p, then 27 inch 1440p...

Now I used two 32 inch 4K screens at work... and I come home, and the three 27 inch screens look a bit smallish, with the old 24 inch one being absolutely tiny on my desk.

It wasn't that tiny when I still owned the 15 inch screen? And my 5.5 inch phone doesn't feel as big as when I bought it either?

So the complot... All monitors slowly shrink over time, and they start shrinking faster when new monitors are brought into the household.

Dead 💀 developer.

My first interview,
Back then was technical graduated local CompSchool. Call for a job newspaper, by phone ☎️ the Supervisor assign a date for interview.

In the office the developer guy was amaze because he will hire any from CompSchool he also was student and all stuff made was on the premised of he learned and worked on the company.

About half and hour talks, he write my name on a post-it and put on HR desk.
“Come back tomorrow morning .. tell me you got the job !”

Do so, entering the office next day, was a sad people talking.. the Developer is 💀 dead (drugged on a party).

So this guy “my name in the post-it” is our salvation for all the database, passwords, accounting, etc. and spell my name.

What tha... got the job, the money 💴, was 18 years old, with excessive income (dead guy salarie).

Worked 3 1/2 years for the company.

Thank you 💀 for the opportunity.

On a tiny vacation in another country. Don't have a converter plug (for the power sockets) so borrowed one.

*connects laptop to charger* (old charger which might die soon)
*nothing happens*
*slight panic*
*tries different sockets*
*nothing*
😨😲😭
"you might want to check your phone with that thing as the socket seems loose as hell"
*tries phone with charger that definitely works*
*nothing*

😰🙌

That was a fucking panic attack right there 😅

Security rant ahead - you have been warned.
It never fails to amuse and irritate me that, despite being in the 2019 supposed information age, people still don't understand or care about their security.
I've travelled to a lot of ports and a lot of countries, but, at EVERY port, without fail, there will be at least one wifi that:
- Has default name/password that has been cracked already (Thomson/SpeedTouch/Netfaster etc)
- Has a phone number as password (reduces crack time to 15-30 mins)
- Someone, to this day, has plain old WEP
I am not talking about cafeteria/store wifi but home networks. WTF people?! I can check my email (through VPN, of course) but it still bugs me. I have relented to try and snoop around the network - I can get carried away, which is bad. Still...
The speed is great though :P

*me working on my laptop and the playlist decides to shuffle an old favourite of mine*

Oooh, I should increase the volume!

*presses the volume-up button on laptop to no effect*

*taps vigorously in vain and almost starts swearing*

What the hec..

Shit! Earphone's plugged to phone.

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
#NoHomo

Old story.

Colleague: "I'm gonna update some tables and stored procedures later"

*phone rings two hours later*

Colleague: "Hi! Just wanted to tell you I accidently dropped all our production databases. Have fun recovering them 😊"

Well shit.

My dad got a new phone over the weekend and asked me to help him set it up (TL;DR his IPhone broke, he likely cussed out someone on the phone and now he's on android).

Setting up his bank app, I asked for his password (I somehow knew asking a 80+ year old man password questions wouldn't end well)

<pulls a card out of his wallet>
Dad: "Here you go."
Me: "This is your business card?"
Dad: "Yep. Password is at the bottom. That way I never forget it."
Me: "Jeez dad, you shouldn't have your bank's password on a business card. You don't give these out to people, do you?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Hell, they won't know what that is. Its just a bunch of nonsense."

Luckily the password didn't work. He had to reset it when his IPhone messed up and didn't remember what he changed the password to.

I started early in my childhood days, nobody had cellphone or internet here, my phone number was 3 digits long and my home country started to recover from 44 years of communism.

My first dev project was probably to copy game from newspaper to Atari 1300XE

Article listing was around 10 pages long and if you made mistake program didn’t run.
It took me a while I can’t remember how long but probably whole day and I was finally able to play it.

I don’t remember what was game about but later on I learned some BASIC from book and was able to color the screen and stuff like that.

I was about 6 years old.

I also remember that Atari computer had tape recorder where you put cassette to load game.
Some more complicated games were loading more then hour and you need to walk very carefully around or your walk can cause error and operation would fail.

Besides that there were national radio auditions about Atari where at the end they played code sound wave so you can record it on your cassette and then play software from radio on your Atari.

I never managed to do it cause I was living near military airport and pilots were practicing landing and starting above my home causing radio signal noise and breaking my software recoding.

I can probably say that highly accelerating plane could cause game loading problem and it’s not a joke.

My neighbor brought me her smartphone because it was too slow. Not only it was an old model with low RAM, but it also wouldn't allow her to install more apps due to that shitty thing of having to install them in the phone storage.

Now you will be asking, what is abnormal about this that I'm writing it here? IT WAS FULL OF BIBLE APPS, JUST WHATSAPP, FACEBOOK AND BIBLES.

Continued from pervious Rant.

The Drone sends out a signal to the Headquarters. A "Rare Entity Found" alert shows up on the screen. "Quick, load the map", says the General. Map shows the current location of the Drone. "Dispatch the Team", signals the General while his forehead show signs of tension.

Further down the room, a man quickly types on his phone and hides it.

Far from all this, in a quite city where the street lights have faded away. Old buildings which look like they are about to fall and crumble. The sound of wind can be heard for miles as there is silence all around. A light from one of building's room is turned on and quickly turned off. A man, checks his phone in sleep. Awakens and pours a glass of water to drink. Quenching his thirst, he opens his laptop. Laptop's light is the only light illuminating his room. He again gives a second look at his phone. The message is still there.
"It has been found"

So I been telling Cox no to upgrading my modem for the past 2 months, my modem works fine, so now last night the modem just stops working, the internet is out and I call support, I tell them the problem and they without even thinking ask what version of modem I have, I tell then gen 2,they then offered a upgrade for free and the old gen 2 ones were not working lately, I reluctantly agreed to swap them for free, so after I got off the phone I was curious, I decided to packet sniff and find all my data is being sent just fine, but once it reaches the Cox main gateway it just drops the packet, I even pinged the DNS and it responded fine, turns out they just shut my connection off and basically forced me to upgrade to their gen 3 enhanced Wi-Fi bullshit

Apple flips the bird to devs again...

So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.

“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”

Ok... update Xcode...

“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”

WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”

Had this a week ago. Was setting my alarms for the morning and noticed that (I always run one test alarm just to be sure) the alarm sound wasn't working for whatever reason.

*maybe I should turn it off and on again?*
*nah that's bullshit, it should just work like this, if not, something is seriously wrong!*

*goes to sleep while running the alarms on an old phone*

*tries to do the turning it off and on again anyways next day*

*IT WORKS*

*Le me feeling like a very stupid end user 😐*

Finally got my new phone (from China) today.
*Opens package all excitedly*
*Backups everything to pc of old phone and gets ready to swap the simcard*
*Notices that the new phone only supports a nano sim*
*Realizes that I only have an old school simcard that you can't cut down to nano size*
*Realizes that I'll have to wait until after the weeked to receive the new simcard*

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

I want to play with it now :(

Yesterday I changed my phone's battery. Now guess who stuck with broken loudspeaker phone..

Man, I miss the old day when you can pop that back cover and change the battery.

F*cking Samsung's alarm clock.

I really needed to wake up early today so I added secondary alarm little bit earlier. It was supposed to ring at 5:20 and second one shall ring 5:30. But Samsung said no.

Update came thru night and phone was restarted in process. Why it can't keep memory unlocked I don't understand, but OK. But it effectively means it was not able to trigger alarm clock. So I woke up at 6:35 and came more than hour late.

Why such basic functionality failed? My old Sony Erricsson T290i can ring even when powered down. Same as my Nokia and after that Lumia with Windows Phone 10. Why can't Samsung just be normal.

Fuck my old university, they are leaking Excel files from an old IIS 7.5 server with tables of contacts, students info, emails, phone numbers... 😠

They'll pay, morbidly.

Ok so a very quick background: I didn't get a job until I needed one after my phone broke and I didn't have the money to buy another one. (I'm a student still for those who don't know lol.)

>> Phone randomly breaks.
>> Don't have the money for a new one
>> Searches for low skill jobs (ie cashier) that would work with me in terms of how many hours I work and whenever those hours are.
>> Apply to like 15 (not even exaggerating either lol) jobs
>> Wait for responses
>> One day goes by. Nothing
>> Two days go by. Nothing
>> Three days go by. Nothing
>> Fourth day rolls around and I get a call about one. I answer, tell him I'm available starting that Monday.
>> (Keep in mind I'm on an old temporary phone)
>> Next day I buy a new phone (didn't have to pay anything up front aside from the taxes on it, as it's on a payment plan)
>> Reset old phone after usage
>> Monday rolls around and I drive to the location of the job, and walk in the door asking for x.
>> "I'm sorry sir, who? We don't have anyone here by that name."
>> I panic and hop in my car, and try to find the address of the store I applied to. I find out it's different than where I went.
>> Start driving there and call that phone number. I ask to speak to x.
>> "I'm sorry sir, there's nobody here by that name."
>> Call literally every other location in the city and ask for x, but nothing.
>> Since I'm already on the way, I drive to the location of the store I had applied to. Whenever I get there, the manager spends half an hour on the phone trying to figure out where I belong. Nothing.
>> By this point, it's well over an hour past whenever I was supposed to show up, so I gave up because I figured they probably wouldn't have hired me anyways.
>> I get home determined af to figure out who the hell called me.
>> I remembered that Verizon has call logs you can look at online.
>> I go back through it and find the number. Google it.

Here's where the story gets a lil funny now.

>> Number shows up for a store that I applied to who's name sounds a LOT like the first store.
>> Called them and explained what happened, and told them I'd be there asap if they still wanted me.
>> That was like 6 months ago and I'm still here lol

It was a very old story. A friend of friend asked that how to get apps in my new phone (Android). I told him to check out the Android Market. He asked me for the address.

!rant

I met my old school friends today. One of them was apparently showing off his programming skills too much(let's call him X). So much that he(friend X) was comparing Linus Torvalds with himself. And he was telling us that Linux is best because there are so many DEs and customisations and blah blah.

So one of my other friend Y(who's not into computers much) asked him to install Ubuntu on his laptop while we were sitting in cafe.(Y wants to play with command line mainly this semester according to him) So he started complaining that he does not have ISO with him and trying to avoid it.

I said I have kubuntu iso he can flash it right away. Then he(X) said "Kubuntu is too complex for him(Y)".(me in mind : " yeah, just because its a. DE, it becomes complex") So I searched in my phone (faked the search, basically renamed kubuntu iso to Ubuntu iso lol) and gave him " Ubuntu " iso

And this "pro developer" installed that on his laptop and after installation was completed he said that "OMG DUUUDE UNITY IS DEAD, EVEN UBUNTU SWITCHED TO KDE AS DEFAULT DESKTOP ENVIRONMENT, ITS COOL".

FFS

Several rants ago I promised to drop a bombshell about Android. What took me so long was my research.

I wanted to measure the extent of Google’s background data mining. I put Android at a significant disadvantage — it was Redmi 6, a device with a 5-year-old half-dead battery that was heavily used by my partner. The only change was me installing Lineage OS + microG — a private, degoogled combo that has no quality of life ramifications. Google Play Store opens, apps download. MicroG emulates Google Play Services — maps, banking and other Play Services-dependent apps work flawlessly. This made a huge difference.

Before degoogling, this phone lasted one day tops on standby. Now, with Wi-Fi connection enabled, apps auto-update working (one game I had installed auto-updated during the test), and no battery saver engaged, I was able to pull ELEVEN DAYS on full charge. Battery saver promised even more uptime, but I considered that cheating.

Modern phones have modern screens that drain battery quickly. Yet, they also have 4000+ mAh batteries. If your Android smartphone performs worse than mine in a test like this that doesn't use screen, kiss your privacy goodbye.

Maybe this is my retribution for participating in yesterday's rant about public transportation.

Saturday morning, I had an 🥚and 🍌. I was happy.
I went out to meet with my GF.
I got a window seat on bus.
The seat on my left was empty for few stops.
A mudafucka big kid came and sit beside me.
I was like, cool, heyyo kid. Not some greasy old dudes or ready to slap chicks.
Oh boy can I be wronger?
The mudafucka big kid started with right butt scratch using right hand.
Then followed up by left butt scratch with left hand.
And then did a wiggly body scratching using his seat like an alien snake.
I got itchy looking at him.
Also I said big two times because he spread his big thighs so wide it took 1/3 of my seat.
And now playing loud ass games on his phone.

Not a good sign for my Saturday.

I’ve just talked to my cousin (24 yo) about smartphones, since I saw that he has an old phone and I asked him if he wanted to buy my old S6 (for reasonable price), he declined this offer moreover he said that he is not planning to change his current device. I was kinda shocked tbh how one can live like that (being online only when using PC), a while after that I realised that he was the one who was smart in this conversation, the one that does not get influenced by others in this matter. I wish I could live like that, when he is not available, he’s just not available. I mean this rant is not purely dev related, but, quite a lot of us here are maintaining some projects, maybe need to talk to managers after their work to make some decisions, doing some side projects. I know that we sort of agreed with those rules at the beginning, but don’t forget to stay offline for some time, especially now when holidays are coming and there will be occasions to spend some time with our families. Just a friendly reminder :)

Listening to professor tell stories about when he used to develop, is like listening old war stories.

Back when I was in university, this teacher would tell us different stories about his days as a developer. This was one of the last ones, and I think it has not changed much since then.

*Phone rings*
Professor: Hello?

Client: I don't know what the fuck you take me for!

Professor: Oh, hello Client_Name. What seems to be the problem.

Client: This doesn't work! There's nothing here!

Professor: Ok, do you see the program file?

Client: No. I just said that there's nothing here.

They proceed to go over the issue and how to get the program to run. Or at least show up on the PC. This goes on for about 30 minutes.

Suddenly my professor has a thought.

Professor: Have you tried inserting the Floppy disk from the other side? Try flipping it.

Client: ...

My father got mad at me, because I had a passwd on my Linux-account...

I told him, that he hasn't got anything to do in my mails at all; Now, he took my phone :) Still laughing at his education-methods xD

BTW: I have to code in the Main room, seen by anyone... i feel like a zoo atraction :( Wish, I could put my PC into my room; I'm old enough after all -.-

!rant !dev
True story. Some years ago I worked, for a network manufacturer in the support department. One of me jobs was to help end-customer (private people) over the phone, who could not get online.

One day a 60+ year old woman called the support line, because se could not get on the Internet. And because our name was on the router, she called our support.

A colleague of mine took the call, and we could quickly see by his expression the it was "One of those calls". The minutes went by and they had gotten no closer to a solution after 45 min.

That was when I herd my colleague say "Well from what you tell, all the settings here are fine. Can you please close all the windows, so we can look at other settings". My colleague the looked weird and said, "She just told me it takes some minutes to close all the windows, so please hang on.".

After 2 min time the woman came back to the phone and said "I have now closed all the windows in the house, except one ceiling window that only my husband can reach. Hope it doesn't matter".

Dat size difference. OnePlus 6 vs Nokia 3510

* Recruiter says he has a nice proposition

* I say that I'm not comfortable switching jobs yet, but I'd be up for a short phone interview to hear him out, out of pure interest

* Recruiter explains a lot about the company, and then asks if I am up for "a short Teams introduction with the team lead to hear more"

* I say yes, though still stating that I do not intend on switching, but want to know more in case of a future possibility

* Recruiter says I need to send my full CV / Resumé plus grades from every school I ever intended (including the early ones that doesn't even matter)

* I say no since 1) I'd have to dig them out from the basement, 2) I am not looking for a job right now, and 3) This request is absurd to me, and NOT a norm in my part of the world when I am not applying.

* He says I HAVE to, since I could be lying
(I am mostly self-taught and have very little actual education, so this logic made NO sense to me)

* I continue to say no, stating that it's simply not worth the time finding the old grades in the basement for a job I will not be taking, and that I am mostly self-taught so grades wouldn't matter

* He starts getting angry, accusing me of "purposefully wasting his time", and says he'll warn the company about me.

Fair point. I'll warn my contacts about you then. Have a nice day, you f*cking prick :)

So, a few weeks ago I asked you guys what would you do if you were to quit your current job. I attempted a start-up with an old "friend" of mine.

He was very enthusiastic and hardworking at the beginning. However he received a job offer from somewhere and told me that he would work there just until we found the company officially and then quit and work full time on the project.

Well... I put around 300 hours into the project and developed the system, did most of my part according to the plan but the guy didn't deliver anything.

Turned out he had another secret partner whom he first introduced me as his mentor. I had my suspicions and suddenly shut down API servers, project management domain and mail server. Suddenly the quiet guy called me asking if I was alright and everything was fine.

Then, nothing happened. He went radio silence until I called him last night and he picked up the phone drunk and mumbled something like "I'm aware of you being a victim" then went to "you're passive aggresive" or something like that and I said nothing, just hung up.

I think you can figure out what went down on the other side and I'd like to hear your scenarios.

PS: now I have another start-up idea: I'm gonna pick up a flamethrower and burn the world while laughing histerically. Anyone who'd like to join is welcome.

Sold the company and started working fulltime at a company in a different sector a year or so ago.

Today one of the ops people comes up and says that someone is on the phone asking for me.

One of my old clients apparently had a question about their site. Turns out that they tracked me down on LinkedIn, and called my new company's public line just to see if I would be available to help them out.

Fortunately the new powers that be took that one in their strides..

My last phone with keyboard, bought not so long ago. I miss ssh to my srv over a phone sometimes. But I do not miss hacking android to move graphic memory to standard memory to boost Os speed...

My trusty old Nexus 5 had a broken microphone for a long time (only worked on speaker phone) and a couple of weeks ago the display died as well. Yesterday, I decided that I can't afford a new one so I took it apart. After a while I had successfully repaired both the microphone and display with small pieces of tissue paper. I guess anything is possible when you're a stubborn problem solver!

My Android phone is 5 years old. Everybody tell me I should buy a new one but I'm a stingy environmentalist and I refuse buying new stuff if it is not strictly necessary.

So, for 9€ I replaced the phone battery and then I installed a custom ROM, so it looks a bit newer.

Unfortunately, it seems that something in the network configuration has been fucked up.
The phone is able to browse the Internet, but:
- WiFi hotspot is not working
- USB tethering is not working
- Bluetooth tethering is not working
- PPP over USB is not working

But, hey, I never give up, so this is my current setup:
- I installed a proxy server on the phone
- I'm using "adb forward" to forward the proxy port from the phone to my laptop
- I configured Firefox to use that proxy

And, yes, I'm using that connection to write this post. :D

Story: A sudden pleasant realisation about myself...

Realized today that I have reached a level of Developer I always wanted to have reached.. A junior forgot his mouse, I gave him mine and took out old trusty hacky scroll from the cupboard, the junior brought batteries as a thank you, I told him thanks but there was no need, I have coded without a mouse and can do again if need be, no issues really... I have even used my phone over wifi as a mouse, I can dev as long as I have some form of something at my disposal... Had a meeting where I had to implement a feature for something that was mentioned in a meeting I was never invited for a bunch of months prior, that had to go live today, asked all the right questions, remained calm, tested like a pro and it was practically seamlessly inserted into the system by yours truly... I was proud of my work on a different level to be honest.. Had a difficult meeting with my manager, but kept really calm, stated the facts effortlessly and made him feel comfortable too, happy ending and happy resolution. Then I spent the ride home trying to project an fm station using my phone.. by the time we got home me and my colleague found a solution to be tested soon... It was only when I put my phone down after closing all my research tabs and deleting the apps used for the day that will not be needed tomorrow when I realised how awesome I seem to have become... Treating myself to a juicy burger and coke with gaming tonight. Something is bound to go sideways again sometime. But you know what, it seems like I'll be just fine.. Somewhere I seem to have become exactly who I wanted to be.. Now for further goals and higher aims while maintaining this person I only noticed today.

Backstory: A few months ago, I wrote an inventory management web app for internal use by the sales team, logistics, and whoever else might need to use it.

Earlier this week: A few minutes before I usually leave, my phone rings. It's some dude I've never heard of. No idea what his function at the company is, still don't, probably never will, don't care. He's never used the app before, and says he's having problems. His cube's on my way out, so I swing by.

I'm not making this next part up. This dude is probably 60 years old, and he's using a very old looking gateway desktop (with the cow print logo thing on the chassis), running Windows XP (not a typo), using IE7.

I don't know what to say, so I just stare at the desktop, look at dude, laugh, and eventually explain that he's never going to be able to use the system via the web app until his rig is replaced.

What the fucking fuck is this. How could this have happened. How do our it people still fucking have jobs. Better question, how did this thing survive the y2k bug?

My old phone is dead forever but I'm back :-D

AND I JUST GOT AN INTERNSHIP :-DDDD I GET TO PROGRAM IN AN ACTUAL WORK ENVIRONMENT LIKE A BIG KID

AND KINDA GETTING A HOUSE THIS SUMMER I THINK?! (I have to share with my sister and her boyfriend but that means I get to cook without people interfering MOM JUST LET ME MAKE FRENCH TOAST JEEZ)

(and I'm probably like 99.9% getting kicked out of school but everything is going to be fine I hope :-s )

BUT I MIGHT GO TO *COMMUNITY COLLEGE* SOMEDAY SO EVERYTHING IS FINE :-D

OK, so I was making this website for a university event. After publishing it, I start getting calls that the registration form isn't working. So I review the code and fix the problem. But when I push it to production, the problem still persists, all this while the event management is breathing down my neck because they can't get any registration! kept on trying for the whole fucking day, switched off my phone and went to sleep! The next morning, I find out, I had been pushing the old version of the file! Yes! I felt incompetent and stupid!

My wife's phone started having power button issues. Then it broke completely with spastic random presses, causing the phone to boot loop. It's a 3 year old Nexus 5 so I was mostly concerned with backing things up, not rescuing it.

Cleaning didn't work, tapping the switch didn't work. This hack worked.

Backup complete.

We had given my mom a phone recently, I found out that she never used it for the reason we gave it to her, and that is to be accessible whenever she leaves the house, Instead she kept the phone at our house and when in the house be always connected to the WiFi and watch WhatsApp videos and stuff that her old college/School friends sent. I had to give her a lecture for half an hour as to why she wasn't using the phone for what it is intended to do and threatened her to disconnect from the WiFi if she did this again. Damn! This teenage stuff again.

I finally gave in into the peer pressure and made myself a Twitter account.

WHAT A FUCKING SHIT SITE.

When registering the only thing I provided was my email and username. Nothing more.

One day later when visiting Twitter I get a big ass pop-up that briefly tells me my account is locked for 'unusual behavior', 'suspicious activity' and 'not following of Twitter's rules'.

I want to remind you that my account was barely one day old, and had no activity whatsoever.

So if getting your account locked for no single reason isn't bad enough. The only and ONLY way to unlock my account was TO PROVIDE MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER. No other single way to unlock my account.

YOU WANT MY PERSONAL DATA SO BADLY?

On top of that I didn't receive a single email from them for this 'suspicious activity' or 'breaking of Twitter's rules'.

THIS IS SCAREWARE. Lying to people in order to get more personal data. My account was perfectly fine. And without providing your phone number you can't even delete your account.

GO FUCK YOURSELF FUCKING ASSHOLES WITH YOUR ASSHOLE DESIGN

FUCKING SHITSITE

TL;DR: My devices all hate me and I needed to fix them all.

My Devices really love me.

I rooted my smartphone (LG G5) just yesterday. Everything went fine. Installed TWRP, SuperSU and some nice Apps that utilize root.

Today I was on the go (at CeBIT) and already had the Xposed Installer App on my phone, but didn't attempt installing it yet because I needed my phone for Maps and Messaging and the app had given clear warning about the bricking-potential.

So to the end of the day I get bored, send my last important Messages, installed the Xposed Framework...
... aaaand got stuck in a boot loop.

So I got on my way back home (thanks God I remembered all the trains I needed to take). On the way I had a lot of fun in the Recovery-Terminal and figured that I should be able to fix my phone with no problem at home because the installer made backups (unlike myself).

Coming back home and my pc was still running (should've shut down after installing updates).
The pc behaved odd and I couldn't shut it down properly, which led to cutting the power.
And upon booting my pc I got a ... give it a guess ...
...a bootloop (technically the animation just never ended).

So after I fixed my phone with my spare laptop (just transferred and executed the uninstaller for xposed) I fixed my PC too, which had an old broken dkms-driver.

The odd thing about this is, that this isn't technically a rant. I guess you can confirm that you can't find any swear words.
Because I ENJOYED fixing the devices. I already fixed my pc a couple of times was well as unbricking my rooted phones, so there was fairly little research involved.
I guess I'm now offically twisted.

Now, after my smartphone backups are transferred, I'Ll take my device apart and replace the camera glass which arrived today (and hope, no pray, that my sim card does still work after that)...
... after I blatendly copied a meme to get more attention. 😉

Continued from previous post.

As the chill wind blows outside, the man picks up his laptop and phone. Slowly walks towards his bed and lifts an old hoodie. With easy he slides it on him, pulls the hood over his head. He turns around facing the window. On the back of his old hoodie, there is a design which looks faded and discolored. Below it some words which too are faded. He walks towards the window and glances on the street. It's still empty. All he can hear is the wind.
"Perfect", he says to himself and walks out his room.
As he is about to exit the building, he sees an Apache chopper passing above. It zooms above the street. A wild guess he makes, probably it's heading where he is heading.
His phone vibrates with a message.
"It's ready".

My dad thinks keeping old messages in whatsapp can make his Moto G4 phone hang.

He just doesn't understand when i try to convince him it is technically not possible and deletes old messages one by one everyday

😶

Thanks to mandatory password change, today:

- My windows account got locked because my phone kept logging into wifi using
old password.
- Google Hangouts were silently running in background with old session until I re-opened it. Work of others delayed by 4 hours due to missing message notifications.
- Docker for Windows lost credentials needed to use SMB mounts - 1h of debugging why my containers mount empty folders ( now I will know)
- Google G-Sync for Outlook asked for new password on outlook restart - few mails delayed.

All of that for sake of security that could be easily solved with 2FA instead, not faking that "I do not change number at the end of my password"

When people ask you to speed up their old crappy device, whether it's a phone, laptop or tablet (even though I'm a web developer), all I say is:

"Buy a new one, that isn't cheap and nasty"

Bought a new Chinese phone a few months back but the battery is already bad as fuck (my fourth Chinese phone, first bad battery). Define bad, every minute of devRanting was 1 percent of battery gone.
It was empty after like two hours of usage :(.

So just went back to my old phone (6000 mAh) and after two hours I am at 86 percent!

Man, this relieve 😀

Google: buys Android
Makes tons of $ from Ads
Meanwhile 7 year old bugs
Are still not fixed

A bug reported in 2012: recently created files are not visible when using MTP protocol.

Guess what? I still have this bug on my 2017 phone, like many other people.
Probably has something to do with file cache.

Because obviously 7 years is not enough to fix a stupid bug. Especially when Google is busy implementing all the other features nobody asked for except marketing department

I DID IT!!! just fucking installed lineage os <3 never imagined that it could be so complicated... they really don't want you to flash your phone man. I guess the main problem was that my phone is old x)

So I'm trying to get a clean and free environment, any advice about applications? My biggest problem is with telegram, I'll try wire, bit there is anything else that can replace telegram and on android and Linux? I mean I need to keep conversations sync, and I won't use a Chrome application TT so no signal.

Sort of a meeting, sort of an informal interview, I've dialled in from the home office and my audio setup includes a standalone mic and some noise cancelling headphones. It's going really really well when all of a sudden I see something in the preview window of my webcam feed.
Behind me, looking very concerned and confused is my 73 year old Nanna who'd decided to pop in and see me as she was passing by.
It's common for me to keep the front door locked, but my Nanna has an emergency key and knows I don't always hear a knock at the door, so let herself in.
So she's now in the house, calling out to me and she can hear me talking, so follows the sound of my voice thinking maybe I'm on the phone. Walks right into the office, where the door is behind me, eventually puts two and two together to work out that I can't hear her and finally sees herself on my monitor. She panics and goes to hide in the corner of my office, almost underneath my workbench because she's old and doesn't know where she would or wouldn't be visible from.
The rest of the meeting went really well, but overran by at least half an hour. Meanwhile I can see my poor Nanna hiding away in my peripheral vision.

My phone crashed (probably bricked), so I had to return it to the retailer for repairs.

They lend me a phone until mine returns from the shop. It is ancient. I feel like an archaeologist.

My old job was great. I was writing automation software for one of the world's biggest storage deployments, and there was always a new challenge. But over time, I was asked to lend a hand with the tedious task of corresponding with procurement vendors and on-site technicians. At first it was one site, then it was two, and then it was an entire region of the US, spread across two time zones I'm not in.

I hated that work, and I found that I didn't have time anymore for software development, because of the time commitment the logistics work was. I was never hired to do logistics work, I was never trained, never qualified, and as I said, I hated it. I agreed to it to temporarily help out a weakness due to a shortage in staffing. But it never got taken off my plate, except for a short stint toward the end, just before I was placed on a PIP, because surprise surprise-- I'm bad at logistics.

About halfway through the PIP, I told my boss I wasn't doing it anymore. I said he could either put me back on software development or let me go, if ticket-monkeying and phone calls is the direction the wind is blowing for our team. I told him I had no intention of resigning, as you are not eligible for unemployment or severance if you resign, so their choice was to let me go. I'm told by people who are still there that everybody on the team is a ticket-jockey button-pusher now. Bleh.

My wife and I sold our old condo in Kansas City earlier in the summer, so we had about a year's worth of cushion, which was why I was willing to be let go. I was profoundly unhappy in my work, and it was bleeding through to my relationship with my wife and kids. So I took advantage of the time between jobs by spending more time with my family and just generally becoming a happier person again.

Meanwhile, I was in no desperate hurry to find a new job, so I got on linkedin, and had no more than two irons in the fire at a time. After just over two months I got an offer for a better job than before, which I accepted. There wasn't anything remarkable about that process though-- it's just something I've gone through recently.

!rant

To the Devs at OnePlus,

Who ever wrote the code that lets me swap the 'back' and 'show recent apps' buttons so they're like my old phone.... You're a fucking god

Ok this is fucking freaky!!

I was talking to my girl that she mentioned a song on a phone call today and I was listening to YouTube and all of a sudden the same song she mentioned came up which is an old out of my regular genres.
I freaked out and told her that's why I have fucking privacy issues!
And then I suggested making myself a private chatting app...
Her next sentence was:
"Yes you can baby... Basically the world is your app store!" <- her first coders quote (we are contagious)

My friend dropped her phone and it doesn't turn on anymore, but she has a dual-SIM spare phone. So the problem didn't seem too bad at first. I told her I'd help her with the backup restoration, set everything up on her new (old) phone.
After 30mins of trying to restore the backup from her old phone and moving the SIM card to the new phone...

"But I didn't have a backup and the SIM card tray isn't working. Can you also help me recover my 10 000 pictures and songs?"

I guess I'm done here

There was this senior designer many years ago that used to come in late everyday, do fuckall except piss everyone off and then spend the majority of her day on the phone organising her social life. We all hated her, and she knew it. This one day she came in and resigned. As we were all Mac, we quickly invented a nickname for her which was "Type 11" in the old Mac days this error was "Unexpectedly Quit". The sad thing was she was best mates with the owners wife. Everyone in the office was questioned about their meanness and nasty vibes. She didn't quit it was just to get back at us for hating her. 12 years on, I'm self employed and she does marketing in a manufacturing co. We get on really well and she gives me good work. Moral: I have no fucking idea what life is about.

I'm not a heavy smartphone user, but going from having to keep phone plugged every few hours ( battery was shitting itself in my last phone ) to this is just incredible.

I have never experienced this kind of battery life other than in those old nokia brick phones.

Turned on this old phone after 4 years, devrant was the only app still working without needing to update and logged in 👌
"I have a date! 😍
var date = DateTime.Now;"
Was still stuck in concepts waiting to be posted on here 🤣

My 82 year old mother’s follow up question to family member who said her son was a moving to Atlanta, GA to be a Network Engineer.

Oh like CNN?

When she was kid her family owned a crank phone.

Just did a transplant on my friend's phone. He dropped it one too many times, and fucked it up real bad.

We were first going to simply put his SIM card into another phone. I had an old S6 that bricked itself during an update before I really knew much of anything about phones, so I dug it out and spent a day trying to restore it with heimdall, adb/fastboot, and eventually odin when I found a laptop with windows. Unfortunately it's a Verizon phone, and because Verizon likes to keep a tight chastity belt on everything, it was pretty much impossible to unbrick. After giving up with finding a custom recovery or flashing a stock ROM, we moved to Plan B.

We took both phones apart, switched the boards, switched the SIMs, and he now has a working phone in much better condition than before he dropped it seven feet from his girlfriend's bunk.

It's always fun to make life from two dead things.

Fuck google cloud platform. My server has been down for last 4 days. Stupid reason google gives me is that it does not have resources available in my zone. Why the fuck do you start a hosting company if you cannot provide RAM and CPU. On top of that their support is so bad that after 20 emails, 4 chat tickets, 3 phone calls nobody knows the issue I am facing. They just give the links to their ultra stupid documentarion.
Now all my 6 projects are down. Clients are getting impatient. I cannot do any work and googles support is the worst.
They dont even want to understand the issue, dont know how they will solve it.

I have created AWS instance now and migrated to AWS. But i have old backups which are useless on AWS. To get the latest backups i need google cloud instance to get started but stupid google does not have resources. How hard it is to add 1 CPU and 1GB RAM?

What sucks most about smartphones is how much everyone came to rely on them and expect you to have one which is turned on and working. Rent a bike? Need an app! Log in somewhere? Need 2FA. I just want to leave my phone turned off for a few days like in the good old days. There must be something wrong with the way we live.

We had a blind auction at work. Selling off 'redundant hardware'

Most of it was old crap but a bit a couple of bids in for shits and giggles. Also, I'm a desktop man but we have rolling blackouts so an older laptop for the simple sake of having something bigger than my phone to browse definitely has some appeal.

So there was an old HP Elitebook 8540W. A chonky boi if ever I did see one.

Spec sheet as listed
4GB DDR3
i7 M 640 @ 2.80 Ghz
128GB SSD
Win 10 Pro
"not booting up/ power button flashing"

So bid R100. Now for context, a petrol is R22 a liter. A Big Mac is R43, a Big Mac meal is R90

So basically I big so I could harvest the SSD. And I won.

Much to my surprise, I simply attached the correct charger and it boots fine. The drive was empty though but that's fine cause I was gonna chuck Ubuntu on it anyway. Also found it was in fact 8GB of RAM. It also has a blu ray drive

So in summary, for the price of 1.1 Big Macs I got:
Full 1080p 15.6"
128GB Samsung SSD
8GB ram
First gen i7
Blu ray player

I'm most not sad about the 900x that I bid on as well. It was a cute little thing, my plan was to steal the ram and ssd out of this thing and put it in that, then boom ultra portable little machine for R400. Oh I also got an old monitor with a feint line down the screen for a grand total of R1

As a token of my commitment to devRant I bought a new phone so I can use the app. True -fucking- story... Goodbye old buddy #lumia930 (pi) (b)

Ohh you study something about computers!!

Here's an old Nokia phone and it doesn't have Internet on it, can you make it have Internet?

This is a true story. :(

This is stupid but i think is my best idea yet.

So i have an old orange pi, with only 256m memory. Its running a few tasks i need but i wanted to use it for controlling a few things from my phone (lights and powering on my pc) so i thought i would make a server for that. Now mind you, my shirt doesnt say "lightweight backend language", so there was no way the pi couldve handled a struts server. I was digging around and found that php has a shell_exec command. Then it clicked, and i wrote the whole system like
shell_exec("java -jar someprocess.jar"). Now this sounds really stupid but it works and php is really light so it doesnt even slow it down that much.

Thinking about making this into some kinda server/framework/something just for fun.

Microsoft.. MicrobrainedSoftware-devs.

SamsungCloud died out and was replaced with OneDrive automatically. Alright, my data is still backed up, so.. No biggie.

OneDrive was syncing my pics and videos automatically, even though media sync is disabled. Umm.. Okay?

My phone is constantly very low on free space [idk why], so I decided to clean up some old photos. I'm removing and removing, until I reach photos with a cloud and an arrow replacing their content. Hundreds of spoiled pics that do not open. And in info their path is /OneDrive/*. Umm.. Wat?

Open mydrive website, log in only to be greeted by a fully loaded onedrive webapp covered by a non-removable modal 'we have an app for this. Use app'. Wtf?? Just let me disable the modal and use the webapp!! Wtf!

Open onedrive app. I'm greeted with a red warning that I've exceeded my storage limits and my account is frozen and my files will be deleted in June '23. WTF????? A heads-up would be nice!!

The popup lists my options:
1. Unfreeze the account for 30days, but I can only do that once. If after 30d I'm still exceeding my limits, my acc will be again frozen w/o an easy way to unfreeze.
2. Once unfrozen [takes ~24hrs], I can either
2.1 pay 7€ to M$ monthly for 1TB of storage in onedrive
2.2 remove my files from OD and my phone [since even if media sync is disabled, OD app is still syncing my media]
what the actual fuck?!?!? M$ is now keeping hundreds of my photos on my phone hostage.

Go F* yourself!

One thing I hate about WinForms:

"do not modify the contents of this method with the code editor."

How the phook do I add eventhandlers without adding them in the code? By some mysterious ways in the so called "designer"? Click and drag? Wearing a tie and talking to the computer? Making a phone call to Microsoft? Immersing into VR and ordering an event handler from a virtual store?

No, I've always just typed whatever I want to achieve and I'm going to do so whatever those know-it-all comments say in the auto-generated code.

You can call me a conservative old fart, but nothing beats writing my own code.

Spent weeks cleaning up legacy code, because my phone was ringing non-stop about errors and crashes, got it done. The CEO has been on vacation for like a month and a half, so I had to make executive judgements, and has just now returned. I got called down to the CEO's office so that I could get bitched at for marginally changing the appearance and behavior of a part of the site. I explain that it was necessary, and the response I got was "it was working fine for five years". All I could say to that was "no it fucking wasn't, are we working at the same company?" When I go to take another job, I might just put all of the old code back in place to remind them of how much "better" things ran before I worked here. Massive headache now, physical and proverbial.

Why the fuck is this apple stuff so fucking expensive?
I want to dig into IOS app development but I am seriously considering not to do it because it's fucking expensive...

Backstory:
I am a young dev (in apprenticeship) and my company offered me a phone. That's great because I can save the money that I would have payed for my phone bill.
But sadly it's an iPhone... I thought why not make something cool out of it and start learning IOS development.

But so far all I saw from IOS development are extreme high costs...

Is there some kind of student plan or anything that makes it cheaper to learn?

Can you guys give me any advice on this?
I own an old MacBook but I need a new OS on it... (long story)
Are there anymore hidden costs? Any tips where to start?

Thanks for your help fellow ranters and sorry for the half rant half question

More than 3GB ram is useless on android phones. Change my mind.

I bought cheap lg g5. It has 4gb ram (my old phone had 1gb ram). I have opened chrome with 4 tabs, an AAA game, devRant, Instagram, a vpn app, android settings and I'm listening music. There is still free 1,2 gb ram. Also this is not my everyday usage. I use maximum 3 apps at same time.

So after 6 months of asking for production API token we've finally received it. It got physically delivered by a courier, passed as a text file on a CD. We didn't have a CD drive. Now we do. Because security. Only it turned out to be encrypted with our old public key so they had to redo the whole process. With our current public key. That they couldn't just download, because security, and demanded it to be passed in the fucking same way first. Luckily our hardware guy anticipated this and the CD drives he got can burn as well. So another two weeks passed and finally we got a visit from the courier again. But wait! The file was signed by two people and the signatures weren't trusted, both fingerprints I had to verify by phone, because security, and one of them was on vacation... until today when they finally called back and I could overwrite that fucking token and push to staging environment before the final push to prod.

Only for some reason I couldn't commit. Because the production token was exactly the same as the fucking test token so there was *nothing to commit!*

BECAUSE FUCKING SECURITY!

Big-time Microsoft fan who claims they've been using licensed versions of Windows since Windows 3.0. Still has all old versions of Windows on different machines / hard-disks. They use only Microsoft Surface devices. They still use Nokia Lumia (with Windows Phone 10). They were working with an organization that used Office365 for enterprise email and collaboration. They used Microsoft Teams for team collaboration when the rest of the organization was comfortable with Atlassian tools like jira, confluence and bitbucket.

One fine day, news spreads that the organization is moving into GSuite for enterprise email and collaboration. They are devastated. They quit citing personal and family reasons, but we knew the real reason.

RANT:
Google is just a steaming pile of shit!!

I've recently installed LineageOS onto my phone and wanted to degooglify my life.

So my current Smartphone doesn't have any GApps installed and I get along fairly well.

Should I need anything, I should just be able to use it in my browser right?
RIGHT?

Nono!! As soon as I want to log into a third party Service using Google (older acccounts with the other choice only being Facebook) I need to "verify my identity". And the only option are my old smartphone who still have Gapps on it but are slow and don't accessible when I'm away!

For those who say: "Google is just beeing secure. They don't want anyone to steal your account.". I USE 2FA AND HAVE BACKUP CODES.
BEFORE DEGOOGLING MY DEVICE IT NEVER ASKED SUCH A THING!!! WHAT A PILE OF SPYING SHIT!!!

And the best part, after I remotely started my PC at home and just want to take a screenshot of the message for this post before just using a working session, the message didn't appear.
Somehow google decided that me logging in 15 mins later (same ip) proves my identity?!?!?!

IF THIS CAN BE ATTRIBUTED TO AI. FUCK THIS SHIT. GOOGLED SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE AN ONLINE CASINO BECAUSE THE CHANCE OF JUST GETTING LOGGED SEEMS COMPLETELY RANDOM!!!

(I also had this prior when using my smartphone browser. There I couldn't "circumvent" this and I was at home. But having this shit on my browser which should've a session is unacceptable.)

Got another one of them phone-scammers who's trying to trick me into installing remoting software on my machine.

I actually do wanna see what they do to your machine once they're in. I have an old XP image in VirtualBox that I can clone. I'll probably let 'em play around with that just to see.

Got a new iPhone X. Had to set up as a new phone because my old one had beta software on it and wouldn’t let me restore from backup (yes, I know I could download the new iOS beta on the X then reset and store from backup but I was in a hurry) but in doing so it gave me the chance to rearrange my home screen and devRant made it on the first page!

Switched from Moto E1 to Redmi note 5 pro. Deleted all junk apps like I do in Moto E which had 2Gb internal. Later realised that it had internal memory of 64Gb.

Another year is ending,slowly, without much of a hassle.
Here's to all those performers who are still waiting for the phone to ring, to all those students who thought they would be earning by the year end. Here's to that father who couldn't get his dying child to have one meal with him. Here's to that daughter who could not inform her imprisoned father that she has made it to the final. Here's to that 70 year old man who is still waiting for his son to return from the dead, to that 12 year old child whose parents just split up, to that girl who thought winter would be unbearable. Here's to that silent lover who is yet to tell the girl that he exists, to that girl whose new year text to her crush failed to yield more than a blue tick. Here's to that couple who had their child, to that scientist whose data sets are turning out to be promising, to that scholar who made it to the last of the Interview rounds.
Here's to that cancer patient who went into remission.
Here's to that boy who got a Hi message from his crush, to that girl who is getting married.
Here's to all those promises and resolutions. Once again. The ones we couldn't keep,and the ones we kept. Here's to that promise that our GPA shall rise again,that all the incomplete MOOC courses will someday be done.
Here's to the beauty of fantastic beasts, Star Wars, sense8, Westworld and all the films and TV shows that made us happy.
Here's to life that goes on. Uninterrupted. Fearless. Still.
Happy New Year

Tonights goal, boot fuchsia on my old Pixel 2 XL... Wish me luck!

(Please prepare yourself for some very drunken posts about a bricked phone)

the happy moment when you get turned down by agencies over the phone, when they "don't think you are what they are looking for" although you have 4 years commercial experience and are 23 years old, by an agent that fancies the term API and WordPress... fml

Today at 7am i got s phone call please go to this client

I responded sure no problem what am i going to do at this client.....

Don't worry they said you will find out when you get there...

So i go to the client and as I expected its not dev related at all

It was for installation of point of sale tills and printers 😱😱

That are 7 years old with no cables
(2 hour drive to get here)

Anyway I ended up selling hardware to them....this developer is going places 😂🙈

Me: "Omg, I'm so not sorry you didn't get a response to your 2:00am text sent to my private phone number about that super duper not important thing that a four year old could solve... but my girlfriend gave me a wrist band thingy that puts my phone on silent whenever it thinks I'm sleeping."

Product Owner: "And you can't set it up properly!? Your title says `señor software engineer` for god's sake!"

Me: "Yeah, it does. This is a hardware issue, though."

...is what I told her and she bought it. 🤷‍♂️

Wow, I didn't expect this! My phone brand (Huawei) actually updated my phone from Marshmallow to Nougat! I was so used to OEMs letting their customers die with old versions :)

my first day with Linux.

1. downloaded the Ubuntu 16. 04 LTS and made bootable.
2. install it on my system.
3. after installing wifi is not working.
4. searched on internet with my phone and connected my PC with USB thetering.
5. now installed wifi driver.
6. now my Nvidia card is not working installed its driver too.
6.finally i look at my desktop and its looking really ancient and old.
7. installed gnome desktop and switch to it.
8. now gnome is not much functional so added some extensions like dash to dock, dynamic transparency.
9. now setup java and android studio.
10. after that android studio font is looking blurry. finally stackoverflow made my life easy and i fixed it.

now after all this my system is working crazy fast.. Android studio is opening in just 5-6 seconds.
really happy.. 😍 😍

Going on a school camp where all the students in the school go.
2 nights and 3 days, planning to bring my laptop and my phone to make games there. (poor 15yo)

Any ideas not to be seen to the teachers? My loyal friends wont tell it because i promised to bring some old android devices for them to play games.

Soo... Android 6.0

No avatars are loading xD

They load on my old phone.

Phone rings...
'I'm calling about the car accident you had recently that wasn't your fault.'

Me: 'Yup, ok. I'm surprised at how quickly you got through!'

Them: 'Could you tell me when the accident was?'

Me: 'This morning before work'

Them: 'And whereabouts did this happen?'

Me: 'My living room'

Them: 'That's strange. Were you driving at the time?'

Me: 'No, I was on foot, I generally am in my living room.'

Them: 'Were you injured?'

Me: 'I sustained some pain in my foot'

Them: 'So you were hit by a car? Do you remember the make and model?'

Me: 'Yes, it was a red Ford, but I'm not sure which model.'

Them: 'Did you get the registration number?'

Me: 'I'm not sure it had one. The car was quite small'

Them: 'Did you get the driver's name?'

Me: 'It was James Jones'

Them: 'Could you describe the driver?'

Me: 'About two foot tall, blonde hair, green top, dungarees'.

Them: 'Did you know the driver?'

Me: 'Yes, he's my two year old son'

Them: ...(click)...

Woke up early, took my mom out for breakfast. It has been more than an hour, we have talked for about 15 minutes the rest of the time she has been on her phone. Was giving smartphones to boomers a mistake? Any boomer devs here that have fallen to the same addiction?

These old people and their damn mobile devices! Get off my lawn!

Laying cozy on sofa, watching yt from phone. Decide there's a need for a bigger screen but too cozy to adjust position to watch from TV. Grab trusty old chromebook running Debian from arm's reach instead. Haven't used that thing in a while. Try to connect bt headphones. Notice that the Bluetooth module is not detected according to the UI. Weird, never noticed that. Wonder what that's about. Apparently someone had fixed it in kernel already long ago, I'm on a much newer kernel. Too lazy to pick up wired headphones from across the room. Maybe I'll update the firmware, I haven't done that in a while. Oh, the script doesn't run because it requires newer glibc. Wait, I'm still on Debian 11, maybe it would be worth it to upgrade to 12. Wow, upgrading Debian is a surprisingly manual process. Wonder what I'll be doing tonight. Wait, what was I doing again?

TLDR: Ask irritating questions, you could end up saving the company money and time...

I’m working on a project where we are integrating 2 legacy web applications with each other.

Business Analyst/Project manager (BA) : Save all the contact details of the selected firm in application A into the database of application B, then expose that data later so that we can output it into the document when the user generates them.
Me: Seems a bit excessive, there’s even a fax number, nobody uses that anymore, are you sure we need all that?
BA: The old document has all that information.
Me: Please just check with client that witch fields are still needed in the document.
BA: Ok, fine, but it’s probably a waste of time…
BA: * Talks with client on phone for 10 minz *
BA: Ok client stays we only need the Lodgement Number on the document.
Me: We already store that and populate it in the document.
BA: I had budgeted 2 days labour for all that, you just saved us a lot of money!

I don't get much spam, but when I do, I rant about how badly those mails are crafted.

I mean, yeah, for non-devs or typical old people, those badly made Google fake mails (that use the old Google logo, the logo in Times New Roman or something) or ISP / phone company mails with malicious attachments may look good enough.

But, seriously, if I were a dev paid to create spam mails, they would look like the real deal, if I may say so myself, as I would actually put some effort in them.

What do you think? Wouldn't spam made by real developers like us be "better"?

Maybe send some examples from inside your junk box 🤔

devRant roulette:

I'm giving my phone to my 7 month old daughter with devRant open. Good luck!

!! TRUE STORY !!

I Began Learning Programming At 12 years-old
with a phone.
Now , I'm 14-years old and have a Laptop !

Guess I just semi-wrecked my old testbed Android phone.

Don't you just love it when you touch on the screen in the middle and it registers as a touch to the top right corner? I sure don't.

Xperia Flashtool? More like Xperia Fucktool. Why? BECAUSE THE FUCKING THING CAN'T FLASH MY PHONE. FIRST YOU SPIT INTO MY FACE WHEN NOT DETECTING A COMPLETELY FINE .FTF, THEN YOU SHIT ON MY HEAD BY SAYING THAT THE .SIN FILE IS INVALID, AND THEN YOU PISS INTO MY MOUTH BY JUST REBOOTING THE DEVICE! Old version works fine tho.

Don't feed the pigeons.
A cautionary tale.
When you feed the pigeons they keep coming back. They don't stop pestering you for help, and they don't ever listen to you.
I gave my father-in-law my old laptop, and installed the latest version of Office 2016 because I'm a nice guy.
Now, every week at family dinner there's something he needs me to help him with.
Mind you, his previous computer had Windows XP and the one I gave him had Windows 7. So it was quite the texh upgrade for him.
Except one of his octagenarian siblings wrote a family recipe book, and wrote it in Word Processor. (because Old People!) Well fuck of course it has pictures, clip art, special formatting, vertical and horizontal lines. It worked fine on XP because Word Processor was supported by XP.
The following is me explaining to him over the phone why his recipe book wouldn't load into Word. I was in his house picking up 2000 rounds of ammo for my and my wife's pistols (target practice) while he was out and about.
FIL: "It's the link on the desktop. It comes up in Word on the old computer but when I tried to put it on the new computer it wouldn't work. I used a thumb drive."
Me: "Okay well I tried to..."
FIL: "I don't know why it would work in Word on one computer and not the next."
Me: "Okay, well I clicked on the link to the file on your old desktop and it opened in Word Processor, not Word."
FIL: "No it opens in Word on the old computer, but it won't open on the new one."
Me: "It opens in Word Processor on the old computer, it won't open in Word on..."
FIL: "Which computer are you sitting at? The old one is on the left." (as if I wouldn't recognize the computer I had for three years and just gave him a month ago!)
Me: "The old one."
FIL: "Okay so it should open in Word on the old computer."
Me: "It won't. It will open in..."
FIL: "I was thinking maybe it had something to do with a screen that popped up when I logged in to the new computer. Something about antivirus software?"
Me: "It will open in Word Processor on your old computer, but it isn't formatted..."
FIL: "Yeah, it's a '.-w-p-s' file so it should work in Word."
Me: "Word Processor is a different program from Word. This opens in Word Processor."
(long silence)
FIL: "So which one do I have?"
Me: "You have Word Processor on the old computer."
FIL: "So how do I get Word Processor on the new computer?"
Me: "You don't. It is defunct software, it was discontinued ten years ago. You can try to get a converter online, but there's no guarantee it'll work."
FIL: "Alright, I'll be home in a few minutes. I'll take a look then."
This was at 10pm last night, and I'd been out all day since 7:30am. He still didn't believe me that the book was written in Word Processor until I showed him the different startup screen for Word Processor, where it says "Word Processor" plain as day.
I fed the pigeon. And it looks like there's more of this to come.

On a more positive note, after reading that facebook set a ton posts and pictures to public "accidentally" - I finally deleted my near old age, never used facebook account, that I was tbh just too lazy to delete or thought I'd sometime have some value looking back to people I haven't talked to in multiple decades and couldn't give a flying fuck about

Before that I downloaded "all" (tbh what did I expect, there's not even a folder like "tagged in", which obv. is data they have too) the data they collected for the time, that I did use it and I am glad basically all creepy named folders had nothing in them, like e.g. phone call logs, since I never as far as I remember installed the app on my phones

btw: does somebody know what happened to @nanos? he seemed to have just disappeared

Linux or Windows - still a problem for inexperienced computer users.
I was an IT professional for 35 years but haven't looked at a line of code for 10 years. And it certainly looks different today -
I have trouble using my smart Phone. I have always disliked the intimidation tehniques practised by Microsoft over the years. When
I was running OS2 in the 90's I couldn't get any software for it because MS had persuaded the developers not to release any OS2 versions until Chicago (AKA WIN95) was released. I was forced to use Windows for years until I finally decided to try Linux. Linux
is a great answer but unfortunately unless you are a current programmer there seems to be some situations that force you to maintain a version of Windows (setting up devices, Printers and developed software). Now that UEFI has been introduced as the standard in new PCs it is very difficult just to install and run Linux. So as WIN10 (the most invasive and slow running Windows to date) is the only "Valid" OS - MS is still dictating what we can and can't do. I decided to sell my new PC and pick up an old BIOS PC so that I could run linux and Win 7 to accomplish
my needs. How long can this go on? When will Linux be a "valid" Operating System. And when will a non-programmer be easily able to setup his hardware and find necessary software to run on Linux.

Today my 2 week old phone slips out of my pocket while standing up, falls on the screen and now it's cracked in multiple places. FML.

RIP Stormtrooper (he's black and white).

Repair is 30% of the new price. Worth it, but still a lot of money and 10 days without the phone.

Aaarghhhh!

n-

N A N I ? ? ? ? ?

my dad just upgraded our phone plan from like 100 miles away out of nowhere.

turns out with some weird discount it's only $20 more for unlimited than our old holdover-from-2012 plan of "8GB pool for all lines, but the last 4GB is 3G speeds"

shit

time to start theorycrafting a way to get around the "one device streaming at a time" limit

System Programmer Saga

I'm an old phone operating system programmer. We had to flash ROMs every time. You Android kids don't know how good you have it. Get off my lawn!

Three days after I purchased iPhone XS, I had to install a new modem at home. The phone wouldn’t connect to the wifi network in the higher frequency band. The guy who came to install the modem dished out the theory that the phone must be too damn old to support it. That burn!

PS: it connected almost a couple of seconds later that. As if it was some kind of extra layer of authentication. Well played Apple.

Oh boy... IM ANGRY!
My lovely ISP just sent me my new Reciever and router, they now are 2 seperate things, which shouldve made stuff easier for me... SHOULD have...
So I connected both with ethernet, power etc... and... nope...the Reciever didnt accept the Router... nice. very nice... after HALF an HOUR i finally got through Support, amd they said "Use your old Reciever/Router combo, we will activate the new one on monday" so I went like:
Ok, that should work!
And nope. For whatever reason as soon as my new Reciever was plugged in, it sent a message to the ISP which went like:
"Im on the net, deactivate the old one"
You know what happened now...

My old Reciever/Router combo is deactivated and my ISP cant activate it because the departement for this doesnt work on the Weekend...
And my new one cant be Activated because its seperate now and the Router isnt activated by my ISP...

Now im here, with my phone as a FUCKING HOTSPOT FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE!
Alexa? Hotspot.
PC? Hotspot.
TV? Hotspot...

Fuck this...

FUCK.

fuck oracle. fuck my company.

Using Oracle VM Manager/Servers to host Oracle Phone transfer solution without support coverage from Oracle.

Requiring Unix sysadmins to update to latest release and not telling that we do not have coverage from Oracle if anything goes wrong.

Gues what.. We've updated to Oracle VM Manager/Server 3.4.5 which was released this year and it uses fucking XEN hypervisor version 4.4.4 which has been deprecated and dead since who knows when. Latest release of XEN is 4.11. But that is not an issue, whatever, enterprise, legacy software, etc.

This fucking update introduced memory leak on the hypervisor which has been reported as per xen 4.4.4 history. Furthermore, we have no support from Oracle which means that I have to dig through mailing lists and limited information on the net since oracle has freakin support wall on nearly each of the major bugs found on that shitty software.

I have no idea whether any newer version of xen will work with that old Oracle Linux kernel or not.

Furthermore, Oracle provided great documentation on how to rollback the fcking update. Reinstall the hypervisor. Riiiight. XEN does not have export/import feature.

eh

It all started with an undelivereable e-mail.

New manager (soon-to-be boss) walks into admin guy's office and complains about an e-mail he sent to a customer being rejected by the recipient's mail server. I can hear parts of the conversation from my office across the floor.

Recipient uses the spamcop.net blacklist and our mail was rejected since it came from an IP address known to be sending mails to their spamtrap.

Admin guy wants to verify the claim by trying to find out our static public IPv4 address, to compare it to the blacklisted one from the notification.
For half an hour boss and him are trying to find the correct login credentials for the telco's customer-self-care web interface.
Eventually they call telco's support to get new credentials, it turned out during the VoIP migration about six months ago we got new credentials that were apparently not noted anywhere.

Eventually admin guy can log in, and wonders why he can't see any static IP address listed there, calls support again. Turns out we were not even using a static IP address anymore since the VoIP change. Now it's not like we would be hosting any services that need to be publicly accessible, nor would all users send their e-mail via a local server (at least my machine is already configured to talk directly to the telco's smtp, but this was supposedly different in the good ol' days, so I'm not sure whether it still applies to some users).

In any case, the e-mail issue seems completely forgotten by now: Admin guy wants his static ip address back, negotiates with telco support.
The change will require new PPPoE credentials for the VDSL line, he apparently received them over the phone(?) and should update them in the CPE after they had disabled the login for the dynamic address. Obviously something went wrong, admin guy meanwhile having to use his private phone to call support, claims the credentials would be reverted immediately when he changed them in the CPE Web UI.

Now I'm not exactly sure why, there's two scenarios I could imagine:
- Maybe telco would use TR-069/CWMP to remotely provision the credentials which are not updated in their system, thus overwriting CPE to the old ones and don't allow for manual changes, or
- Maybe just a browser issue. The CPE's login page is not even rendered correctly in my browser, but then again I'm the only one at the company using Firefox Private Mode with Ghostery, so it can't be reproduced on another machine. At least viewing the login/status page works with IE11 though, no idea how badly-written the config stuff itself might be.

Many hours pass, I enjoy not being annoyed by incoming phone calls for the rest of the day. Boss is slightly less happy, no internet and no incoming calls.

Next morning, windows would ask me to classify this new network as public/work/private - apparently someone tried factory-resetting the CPE. Or did they even get a replacement!? Still no internet though.
Hours later, everything finally back to normal, no idea what exactly happened - but we have our old static IPv4 address back, still wondering what we need it for.

Oh, and the blacklisted IP address was just the telco's mail server, of course. They end up on the spamcop list every once in a while.

tl;dr: if you're running a business in Germany that needs e-mail, just don't send it via the big magenta monopoly - you would end up sharing the same mail servers with tons of small businesses that might not employ the most qualified people for securing their stuff, so they will naturally be pwned and abused for spam every once in a while, having your mailservers blacklisted.

I'm waiting for the day when the next e-mail will be blocked and manager / boss eventually wonder how the 24-hours-outage did not even fix aynything in the end...

And a big fuck you to sony mobile, I hope you die soon.
TLDR: sent a weeks old phone for repair to Sony, they asked 450€ because according to their "experts" chassis was bent and main board was busted besides the obvious screen and touch being broken.
It costed less than 400€ including vat.
Out of spite I ordered a replacement screen for 55€, and it's fucking working again, thanks a lot for the offer but I still can replace an lcd myself. Screw your warranty policies, you made a phone that slips like a wet soap.
I've owned xperias all my life, Arc, U, M, Z1 besides all the dumb phones manufactured by Sony/Ericsson.
Guess I'm finding a new brand very soon.

First exposure...
When I was a kid, my parents would put on Tom & Jerry and other cartoons on an old family computer (you know - yellowed plastic, big, bulky tower, and an even bigger CRT monitor) for me to watch (Windows 95 didn't cut it, so they booted up Geexbox from CD)... Sometimes the playback would stop / the volume would be too quite - so I had to figure out how to control it by myself, without the help of my parents... Slowly, I was able to boot up Windows, and use my father's CD collection of All-In-One CDs (utilities and games). Later we were able to afford connecting to the internet through our phone landline - it was all downhill since then. Nowadays I'm helping my dad when it comes to computers (he's currently learning how to use Excel properly). :-)

Great news, I just lost my email account's password. The password is in password manager but apparently, when I was changing it, I did something wrong. Now, neither the old one, nor the new one work and I can't login into my email. I didn't even change the password reset phone number to my new one! And I also forgot the recovery mailbox' password. Fucking great.

Here's the lesson: **ALWAYS** re-check your new password in your browser's private window.

So I am back home for a week without my laptop and my phone was low on power so I finally give up and decide to use a old PC we had.

I was gonna download some anime which I did but as I was waiting I started just looking around...

1. The drives are huge, 3 HDs with 400GB each.... vs my current 128 GB SSD

2. I found an old stash of anime (2013-4), several series... that I had actually not watched

3. The machine is known to be slow but after using it for awhile to install VLC and JDowloader... It's actually OK...

4. Video can playback at 3x speed... No lag... Apparently I forgot the onboard GPU failed and my dad replaced it with a cheap (I think) GFX card that has like 1GB RAM/processing power...

Really Apple?
Are you kidding me?
And btw, why does my 1 year old battery only last 4 hours, when the phone is turned off?

So I found my old phone and apparently there’s Sailfish OS for it

Okay, so yesterday was crazy. So crazy, in fact, that I'm not even typing this on my phone. I'm typing it on an LG G4.

So, I took an Uber out to a Sprint store I'd been told did repairs. My phone's vibrator was broken. So, basically I thought just like that R&M episode "20 minutes adventure in and out" - only to find out they'd need to wipe my goddamn phone, and then send it to Texas. I now have to wait 6 days for my phone lmfao.

So, in the meantime, they took an hour to get me this G4 which makes me miss all the finer things in life - I miss my USB-C and not having to give a damn about how I plug it in and I miss my fingerprint reader (I know, I'm a lazy fuck with first-world problems. I don't care to hear about how fucking stupid I am for either of those thoughts, STFU). Also the G4 is prone to hardware failures, so they said they weren't too happy about giving me this, but it's the only one with NFC.

So in the middle of setup, the Sprint store's power went out. FUUUUUUCK. The phone was pretty much at 5% battery and was being slow as hell, so you can just about imagine the irritation me and this guy had when the phone died in the middle of setup.

The next thing is an unrelated story, but I'm sure some of you older guys here will love this. I was at a place called Triangle Park last night. I go there for burgers, but they also have a bar. Sometimes I get sent to the bar and the bartender gets me my food. So last night I went to pick the food up from the bar for takeout.

The bartender must've had an accident and messed something up, so she told me to sit at the bar. I thought it was obvious I was only 19, so I barely sat. I'm literally not old enough to sit at the bar, even though when I was younger my dad and his friends used to let me sit with them because I had a history of saying stupid shit that made his friends laugh. Nonetheless, I sat with my ass hanging off the edge because I knew it was wrong :/

She comes back and asks what type of drink I want. I had to tell her that I was 19. I wasn't gonna sit here and lie because I'm pretty sure she could've lost her job for serving a minor. I exited and waited in the lobby.

But are we at the point where 19-year-olds look like 25-year-olds? I don't want to think about this because it means I'm getting older. That's a lot to take in. Later in the night it was still gnawing at my gut.

Yesterday was one hella day man.

Hmm... That's 2 yrs from now.. o.O
Mmm...ok... Keep the job, rewrite old crap (I mean code) I'm maintaining & rock at it..
Personal issues wise, get married get own flat/house & hopefully get back to climbing at least on weekly basis.. Ooh & maybe a doggo & kitteh.. xD

P.S. maybe find a phone that will outsurvive me.. or at least survive me for more than 3 months.. :/

when I was like 11yrs. old, my father has bought a new phone for himself. I used to play a lot of gta vice city those days on my PC. one day i got to use a card reader to exchange multimedia between PC and the phone.
so, i copied gta vice city in my phone. bcoz i knew that i can move around the players using the phone's d-pad. I was left broken when I saw the error msg. in the phone: "file not recognised"
:-/
After few days, my friend wanted to play gta-vc, so he asked for the game CD. but this guy didn't have a computer in his home and he won't listen to me when I try to tell him, "you can't just play a video game in your DVD-player with a TV remote??" So, I gave it to him.
Next day, he was angry at me, bcoz the game didn't worked, obviously it was me who hve messed something in it. :-/

What utterly stupid things you guys or your friends have done?

I still have old crusty ass 5.1 Lollipop on my phone because I can't let go of the adorable blob emojis. So many good memories.

But now I can't update apps anymore -- can anyone tell a dummy like me how to upgrade from Lollipop to just Marshmallow, nothing newer (to retain the Marshmallow blobs)?

While waiting for the subway to go to work i was checking my emails on my phone, an old man approched "u young people are only using those phones for facebook and useless stuff , find yourself a job and blablabla.. " how can i tell him i'm a mobile developer ... :/

Yesterday I bought a book. I did not know about it. So I read the first few pages before purchasing it. I did not look for the review online. I paid by card - not through my phone or contactless, just plain old card going into a chip and pin device.

This morning I got an advert in Facebook that I should buy the second part of the book. I know they snoop my online activity. In a weird way I kind of accepted it. I guess my question is how'd they know so much of my personal life.

I'd probably will leave Facebook today. I am sure they are watching this status as well. I hope the jackass behind this learns in my own small way I tried to stand up against their jackassery. Like everyone else here I from IT. I hope some one (or many) from this extraordinary community who is a lot more capable than I am, stands up to this invasion and make an end to this snooping.

Google is so desperate in getting into video conferencing ....

I had Duo disabled on my phone since day one, today I woke up to see it was renabled and updated to latest version ...

Thinking for rooting this thing and taking back control of my stuff even though its just an old testing phone -_-

My bank created a "new and improved" banking app asking me to take a selfie after first sending them a picture of my id.
I am already a customer of the bank, they have a copy of my id, why do they also want a selfie?
Also with the old banking app I could just call them from my phone number (which they also have) and they confirmed it was me over the phone by asking 2 questions and then provided me with a code to just enable the app on my personal phone.

uh-oh, I've made the amazonian gods mad by activating my vpn on my phone at the wrong time at the wrong place. (please don't send delivery drones nuking me)

I thought my alexa routines and other things vanished because of an update of sorts, but it was because it switched to another vpn region, so I've setup the same stuff again only to get like two reminders at the same time they used to be, guess I now have to either stick to the region or deactivate vpn, remove the old reminders and go back lol

I left on vacation only to realize I pushed an old build to production. It now throws NPEs.

I don't have a computer, just my phone.

I'm regretting not going to bed earlier yesterday.

My phone is officially losing charge with TurboCharge and I can't turn it off as alarms won't go off..
Might need to return to my old *shivers* iPhone

I started programming on a new POS machine and I noticed that sometimes it reboots randomly. The boss and the assistance said that it's a well known bug and happened also in all old machines. Ah.... Ok.
And that shit costs a lot and it's stupid as fuck. Really? How the fuck is it possible? Sometimes I think that if I put a cardreader and a printer in a 50$ android phone I would save a lot of time

Reveal the real power of your old phone....

I am pretty sure my phone started listening to me...

A few days ago I downloaded a app similar to Craigslist but a little more modern. THE ABSOLUTE FIRST THING MY EYES SEE IS A CAR. NOT ANY OLD CAR. BUT THE SAME YEAR, MAKE, AND MODEL OF THE CAR I OWN. May I also mention I’m on vacation on the OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE COUNTRY?!?

Wtf.

This is not about devRant… but it might as well be.

Imagine public forum. Everyone can read and post, everyone can comment. And there's no way to send a private message.

You use said forum for years. Whether you like it or not, you form alliances, friendships, frenemieships and engage all kinds of social contracts. There's no ro(ot)ster either, so you keep all that in your head, until one day you need a social contract formalized — exchange contact info. With Steven.

You can't just “@Steven text me, here's my phone”, that's borderline suicidal. You yearn a safe haven. A proxy that'd allow privacy. So you quickly spin up a service, let's say Discord (it wasn't Discord, but close enough), post a link, and within seconds Steven joins… He and seven other Stevens.

So you send each a unique sentence, a 2fa token so to speak, and ask them to post it on said devRant-like forum — they can delete it later after all. And a few minutes later there's eleven Stevens posting garbage faster than mods can delete, because whitespace power. But you bravely sift through that shit until the correct Steven rants “I'm blue, da-ba-dee da-ba-da”, and finally you know which Discord Steven is blue, so you can privately chat about colours.

And then Steven's 75 years old, well-reputed account gets banned on devRant for posting along other spamming Stevens. And you can't even PM administration, because devRant is a public forum without PM-ing indeed.