TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.

10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.

Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.

Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.

Thanks for reading.

  • 1
    Can't update after 5 minutes? Big Oof. Here is a link with some minor clarifications: https://pastebin.com/Z0Q7Y8t2
  • 7
    Apple used to offer premium quality at premium price. These days, it's only premium hype at premium price, the actual products are mediocre at best.
  • 6
    Iphone works ok until you involve itunes which is a complete horror of a program that almost looks like it was designed by their fiercest competitor to scare if customers.

    Once icloud could handle all backup before upgrades I have not had a single problem.

    But using itunes to upgrade was a mess, not quite at your level but I had to do two backups where one was hidden deep in the menus and without which the phone gave an non descript error about having to backup first.

    But the normal, “easy” to find backup was not enough.

    I have long wondered how itunes survived Steve Jobs critical eye, the team must have had some juicy secret he did not want them to tell the world ;)
  • 3
    Takes me back to the good ol' days where I jumped from version to version with jailbreaks and had to downgrade from iOS5 to iOS4 because the jailbreak wasn't functional on my device yet...

    Good ol' times, especially the huge challenges involved when you tried to downgrade or jump versions for newer jailbreaks.

    That being said, which madman would update nowadays from iOS 9???
  • 1
    1000 USD for Samsung Note 10? Wait wait but they don’t provide their own operating system and only have small device specific apps built on top of Android?! So you’re paying 95% for hardware?!
  • 4
    @growling well, ios is a specializtion of openbsd, an open source unix, with a custum gui and applications.

    So not to much difference there.

    And I bet samsung has a lot of device specific drivers to.
  • 1
    @Voxera I’m sure everyone knows this. The experience is still pretty damn good to the point where your Grammy can use it. But you’re forgetting that Samsung doesn’t spend much on creating their own operating system.

    Look at it this way:

    iPhone XS Max for $1100 with software and hardware

    Samsung Note 10 for $1000 with mostly hardware.


    Rip off much?
  • 0
    @dontbeevil yeah washing your clothes in a tub by hand also works but I bet you're using a washing machine anyways.
  • 1
    @growling Samsung is a big ripoff. They are not much better than Apple, except the OS Google provides them is not half bad. I have been using Xiaomi phones for quite sometime, and I don't think I will change in the near future. I mean, you can get a very decent Xiaomi phone (redmi note 5 pro) for less than 200€.
  • 0
    @Nanos What? Really? He only bought new ones?? How rich is he?! 😂
  • 0
    I was able to update my iPod 4G to iOS 6 over the air back in the day 🤔

    Am I missing something or is it Apple.
  • 2
    I really needed an iPhone for work. I hate it too, but damn, it just doesn‘t Hang, so this is why I needed it (Oposed to wanting).

    I tought I can get three Broken ones and fix them, but hell no. I had the exact Same Problems, just tried it on all of them.

    Funily enough, flashing worked better on windows than my hackingtosh.

    Anyways, in the end I just got a refurbished one. It just really isn‘t worth the hassle. Once it works, it really is good, but if anything breaks, you‘re fucked.
  • 0
    @IAmAnIssue You didn't have to use iTunes with ios 6?
  • 1
    @Kotamigo they introduced over the air updates in iOS 5
  • 2
    Maybe the update failed because of full storage?
  • 1
    @electrineer you might be right actually. Went through the second time though luckily. Maybe deleting os9 stuff made some space.
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