NSA: Hey, its looks like you a bit lonely
Me: Yeah sort of

CIA: (Retrieves list of facebook friends), why not hook up with these people
Me: Not interested

FBI: The girl across your room seems to be interested in you
Me: Nah not interested

CIA: We can send someone to keep you company if you want
Me: thanks, not interested

NSA: A girl winked at you at the cafe yesterday
Me: Didn't notice

CIA: What of the lady you spoke to on the phone earlier
Me: Too old

FBI: Can you please move your webcam to the left a little
Me: Bruuuuuhhhhhh!!!

  • 26
    And this is why I don't have Facebook and whatsapp etc 😄
  • 2
    This is good.
  • 8
    Well I might loose my privacy when they mention girls all the time
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    When someone thinks all they have time for is to watch them and spy on people........ a little conceited aren't you?
  • 14
    @ScribeOfGoD Apparently the CIA is also a dating agency now, they are really a proving their keep.
  • 21
    You mentioned all the positives. All they do (CIA, FBI, NSA) is care about you. Wish I had firends like these, noticing and telling me that a girl winked at me in caffe or that someone is into me. Maybe I too should create a facebook acc, start using siri, cortana, windows 10...
  • 3
    Haha this is funny.
    I've seen posts alike recently. Is there anything new going on about CIA, NBA, etc?
    (sorry, not US citizen)
  • 5
    @jstaiyou wikileaks just leaked CIA top secret files that mention it has access to more devices that you can think of, even alexa, allo, cortana, siri, are under their control. It maintains a close watch on the primary computer users on which the user, if found interacting with keywords like "terrorist" "black ops " "bomb" will be brought for questioning if linked with any attack of such sorts.
  • 10
    @sam9669 oh shit now they will be tracking me
  • 4
    @andros705 and make it harder to find the real people trying to cause destruction and mayhem...
  • 2
    You are quite daring, using those three keywords in one comment post. As if devRant isn't monitored... It's better than fb, and full of actual solutions to problems, so why not?
    Edit: and THEN I read your comment on yourself..
  • 1
    @andersoyvind yeah Fuck me
  • 7
    Maybe I should search the net for instructions on bomb making. Not for actually making bombs (call me overly cautious, but handling explosives is not for the absent minded theorist), but as a way of getting dating advise from the spooks.

    Of course, it could backfire and the advice could be "That serial killer in cell block D finds you attractive".
  • 4
    Friendship is overrated. Trust me, I'm a wizard.
  • 0
    @linuxxx you own a computer though :')
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  • 0
    but why? these guys have better things to do.
    #yelloecake #plutonium #theyarelistening
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