This is what happens when you hire a philosophy major.

The major difference

A sound recognition system

Being deaf is one major factor that's kept me from moving out. I can't hear sounds like doorbells, fire alarms, etc

I want to build a client-server solution that can be trained to recognize specific sounds

that moment when your first pull request to a major deep learning library is merged and you have no friends who understand what that means and to share your happiness!😓
no problem, you've devRant! 😁

Hey everyone - in case it isn't obvious, unfortunately due to the major S3 outage, no images can currently be uploaded :/

Sorry about that.

Major requirement of becoming a developer is being a good googler

Major difference

With all the major library/framework overhauls in the JS community, I feel we may need to start versioning in our resumes:

angular@2.4
react-router@4.0.0-alpha.5
jest@19.0.2
..

When you make major database scheme changes and run your tests afterwards. Here’s to an all nighter!

The 3 greatest things in life:

1 A great orgasm

2. A great shit

3. Fixing a major bug before anyone notices.

Work directly on a production system and get all 3 experiences simultaneously.

First broken rule - Publish on Friday

Second broken rule - Delete without backing up

Major screw up - Main folder deleted containing several sites

Major problem - Cannot find anyone on the server team for backups

So I bitched about how shitty PHP was during the whole four years of my major and the first job I landed was a PHP developer position...

I just implemented parallelism in one of my major data collection tools for work, and cut the tool's run duration by 90%. That seems like as good a time as any to go to sleep.

What I've learnt so far using git for the first time in a major project.

Git commit Suicide

"What's your major?"
"Computer Science"
"Do you fix computers and stuff?"
"No"
"So wait then do you like hack stuff?"
"Yes, all the time, every day."

When you are a CS major/part time developer and your uncle gives you a swiss army knife as a present "so if you have to fix computers you have the screwdriver ready"

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson

The way things are prioritized:

Emergency
Critical
ASAP
Do first
Top priority
Urgent
Urgent ASAP
Major urgent

Fuck sakes.. 😣

Been telling relatives that I'm an applied math major to get out of helping them with their tech issues.

Applying to a school for CS major, and they can't even fix their website to not have a null pointer exception...

Do I really want to go here?

The major blunder here is that you're using WordPress

My boss is making me deploy a major change what hasn't had proper testing yet on the day I leave for 2 weeks. Save me someone.

MAJOR RANT:

Bug in question: Shortened URLs (that we generate dynamically because fuck you) would have a pipe character added in them, obviously breaking the URL.

I SPENT 3.5 DAYS DEBUGGING A MASSIVE, FRANKENSTEIN-LIKE CODE BASE TO FIND THIS:

Sometime around this point, major companies like Google and minor companies like devRant are preparing for a yet another stupid April Fools joke.... Lol

I go to college online and I was really excited to start my classes for my major as I finally wrapped up general ed classes. This is a week 1 assignment for Introduction to Computer Science....

Day 1 of my CIT major:

Professor: "...and if we use the right mouse button to click on any file, we can access a complete menu of secondary actions."

It's going to be a long semester.

It seems like GitHub just got blocked here in China...

the gov: *talks about the importance of tech-related education all day long*
also the gov: *blocks every major site that provides good programming-related resources/education*

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Started working on devRantron after a month holiday.

Major version upgrade to 4 different packages. All the upgrades are breaking the current configurations.

I just fucking wish JS community would understand the importance of backward compatibility.

Microsoft has added a machine learning model to predict when is the right time to restart the device for updates.

Coming with the next major update.

This should be interesting...

2008: Made my new PC go Blue Screen within 3 months. Knew I wanted to do "something with computers".

2016: CS Major. ✌(◕‿-)✌

loooool so many people cheat & skate their way through the CS major at my university. they’re in for the rudest awakening when an employer asks them to design an algorithm on a whiteboard

Just Fixed a major issue in my code and the Sun came out at the same time! I feel like should I go out and scream on my balcony!

Writing all the major functionality of our app in a 10000 line class ( I shit you not) and then call it Utils.java.

Apple took a major step
3 party manufacturers created a hype and addressed this step as a problem
Then make products to solve the pseudo problems
Smart business idea 😂😂😂
Lol😂😂

Holy shit. I'm sitting in my CS class and I just heard someone complaining about the stupid responses they get when they tell people they're a CS major.

I heard a new one that is honestly the most stupid fucking thing ever. She told someone she's a CS major and they replied "Oh so are you taking a lot of chemistry classes or something?"

When you've been working for ages and are desperate for a pee, but you've just had a major breakthrough and code is pouring off your fingers like honey, and you don't want to stop because it will break the flow.

Was feeling like a boss in new office after fixing a major bug.

Yes, the bug was fixed. Only half of the program doesn't work anymore.

I start my first real dev position tomorrow 6 months out of college where I graduated without a CS degree because my school didn't have a major only a minor.

Cue the imposter syndrome.

After changing a file, 'git add .' showed that everything is already up to date. I spent half an hour looking through my project structure and git branches. The reason? I forgot to save that file.

Let's do a major refactor right before a release, what could possibly go wrong? (:

This is how I feel while coding a system whitout tdd or any kind of tests, and it's the company's major system... Anyone else?

I guess I'm the weird one...
I crack my neck pretty loud every time I do a major commit

me: I will major in CS so I can work with computers, not people

narrator: But little did he know...

Just spent 15 minutes trying to explain Unix time and Y2K to a liberal arts major who wanted to know why 2038 is such a huge deal. It was technical, frustrating, and challenging. Kinda like debugging

Guess who's doing a database double major versions update on our biggest prod system at 3am?

When you've been working your ass off for months alone on a project with major backend features and the feedback you get from the CEO at the demo is "I don't like the colour".

God of War comes out tomorrow.

Video Games are my passion, it's the reason I want to learn more about computers and technology. And each new major game title sparks new motivation.

What helps yall invigorated to improve?

Our team does not believe in keeping a documentation.

Says a guy after a major issue that was 95% caused by lack of any documentation.

I was super unproductive the past two weekends, since I lacked the motivation to code. But today I sat my lazy ass down and did some major refactoring in the engine - seems like nothing had been broken.

“I won it! It’s a major award!”

I’d like to thank the Academy, @dfox, and all the devRanters who ++’d my story about my boss wanting me to change the YouTube to look like our website.

Girl: What major are you studying?
Me: Computer Science.
Girl: Cool. Can you hack my boyfriend's Facebook, I think he's cheating on me.
Me: Go to hell. 😡

Yes I am a computer science major; No I'm not volunteering to be your IT guy.

When the freshman comp sci major who thinks HTML is programming learns about the dev tools in browsers.

Spent an entire day trying to fix a major bug that made the entire application fall over... It was an unclosed div tag. Literally one missing / can cause so much pain!

My tab key now requires a harder press than it used to earlier. STUPID MACBOOK. This minor inconvenience is a really major annoyance.

everyday another damn js library with a godamn benchmark claiming kicking every major library's ass by a factor of 10!
just GTFO dude.
I'm tired of seeing that shit :/

So I asked my company's tools team to fix a bug in their tools related to testing a major feature of our project. They downgraded it to "low priority" because it's "user-specific". I asked how can this be user-specific when it's a major feature. They came back with "well, you're the only one testing it"... Right...

Major upgrade to Romannurik's android asset studio...Awesome!

what's the point of having Jira task priorities if all the tasks are assigned to major priority? >:(

Best: being able to look back at the year, from the first site I built to the latest, and seeing major progress. Realising that I can actually make a career out of this.

Thanks major restaurant chain. I don't want to wait the 30 seconds for your cheezy animation to finish before I get my gift card's number. I'm hungry. Know your users.

When your university drops the support for IMAP on their mail-server, leaving Exchange as only possible option, because apparently the thought that somebody MIGHT be using Linux in a fucking IT major is completely out of this world...

So yeah I was in the middle of a major deploy and the electricity just cut off.

Why in the goddamn fucking world do I not fucking commit the fucking code every time there is a motherfucking major change

TIFU by deploying not one, but two major releases to production at 5pm on a Friday. I trusted my testers, so one of the applications had a major bug in it. I just worked through a child's surprise party. hope the testers are having a lovely evening with their loved ones.

So I had this conversation with my boss yesterday...

Me: Hey, I found this bug in the other team's code that has a major impact on what we're trying to do. Can you ask them to look into it?

Boss: No, I don't want to be the one who has to tell them there's a major bug in their code. Find a workaround.

M: But... It isn't really a major bug, it just has a big impact on our side of things.

B: Workaround!

Fuck bosses who value how they think they look to other devs over a day of my time. Fuck.

Installed Linux on a crappy laptop got many many errors. in the process of googling then fixing them I fell in love with the os itself and it turned me towards programming now we sit here me a game Dev major

Yes, my Python scripts are not remotely pretty. But then, neither was my nonexistent formal training in scientific computing. And no, I will not 'write two lines of comments for every line of code'. Physics major programmer problems.

Are there other devs who think unit tests actually are a major boost to iteration speed ?

I wrote my app so nicely, I just finished adding a 2 new features without any major rewriting... even after not touching it for many months...

If your startups CEO is the major stakeholder, that’s great.

If your CEO is the major bottleneck, that’s a problem.

Don’t handcuff your employees. Instead enable them to work efficiently and effectively.

I wAs ChEcKiNg YoUr WeBsItE aNd I sEe YoU hAvE a GoOd DeSiGn AnD iT lOoKs GrEaT, bUt It’s NoT rAnKeD oN gOoGlE aNd OtHeR mAjOr SeArCh EnGiNeS.

please leave me alone

The worst part of being a dev is when you realize you have a major design flaw in your architecture at 4:50 PM on a Friday. Goodbye weekend, hello intense thought.

Wrote a library that helped the start up I was working for solve a major issue and get funded

That sinking feeling of horror when you are helping a student with a problem in their assignment only to see major logic errors that prove they dont actually understand what they are doing. * drinks wiskey in prep for marking *

Java 16 already!! The Java team jumps through major versions like it's nothing.

To the remote dev who ghosted me right after we discovered a major bug in your code, and whom we paid up front for development, thanks for nothing.

You’re fired.

Wow the security by captcha!

Guess what? IIT Kharagpur is considered one of the best institute in India to study Computer Science and its major in research include image processing

Business: We want this exactly like [insert competitor’s web product].

Me: Oh, so like [this major obvious feature]?

Business: Oh no! Not that! Everything else but that!… You have everything you need right?

Me: …🤦‍♂️

That feeling when you've done a major refactor on you project and it's going to run for the first time... Then you hope it will have no problems/bugs/crashs but you already know it will

when you really want to code but you have a lot of school work and your course major has nothing to do with computer science or programming. ((

Having worked with all the major frontend frameworks. I can finally say that Vue is fking awesome!!! Way better than react and angular.

I hope the one man army continues. Evan You.

“I’m anti establishment.” - works 4 hours a day on open-source library used by all major banks and never makes a dime from it while probably making them millions. (Way to stick it to the man!)

Ok I’m fed up. I feel that computer science major in majority of universities are filled with individuals that memorise code for their assessments as if it is history or civics major.
I mean wtf?
If all you are good at is memorising why did you that cs as your major?
And how far do you think is memorising the simple jackass 20 LOC long shit piece of coding program will take you in the industry?????????

The moment when you think your almost done and then you realize you wrote a major portion of your program wrong and have to rewrite it.
😒

I wonder so many devs hate Windows then why dont we stop creating products for it and start migrating all major projects (like games and software) to linux.

Next major version of spring will require Java 17.

Bloody finally. Hope this gives corporations the kick up the behind they need to move beyond 8.

"So the client just asked when we will have [feature] ready for testing."
*Confused looks*
Turns out the project/account *forgot* to tell us about a major feature that the client wanted. I should get paid extras for miracles.

Training model for 3 days now. Turns out there is a hidden
minor-bug causing a major bias on output. The result is actually within a error margin. But this is so unnecessary. Should i start over?

The struggle of being a gay CS major is that all of my classes are 95% guys but all of them are painfully straight. Send help

Major project to be released. Dev environment still has defects, still moving forward to QA.
#PrayForQA

The leaders of the Windows-army:

Major Failures
General Problems
and last but not least...
Kernel Damages

When you get back to the office and remember the mess you were tackling on Friday 😅

When you solve a major-ranked ticket with a single line of code.. You feel like..

SPF, DKIM and DMARC successfully implementet. It is fun to have a more spoofproof email than many major companies

Okay, this is MAJOR FUCKING BULLSHIT.
I understand variability of, dunno, 10, but 40?
The tests were ran on the same machine, one after another. What the fuck?

So after months of self study my company finally appoints me as a junior developer with a major client as the intermediate dev on the project resigned. My tech lead assures me that junior devs only fix bugs and do other minor changes. One week in and in our first sprint planning session the client decides to priorities a Major update to the app. Now I have 2 weeks to deliver what will either make or break my immediate career. And I have no idea how to implement any of the changes. Stack overflow you're my only hope (and many hrs of YouTube tutorials)

Why is it management always waits until point of failure for a major system to hear us about replacing systems with updated systems?

CS major is fun until the devil called math arrives

Built a neural network + plus major algo work to solve a stupid mobile game (Calculords).

I'm sure humanity will thank me later.

Glad I wasn’t a computer Science major back in college 😝

University wants a final year major project which should give an output as a research paper published in some conference or journal. All seems great. Department rejected all web app related projects because it's too generic.. Still makes sense..
And then suddenly, department asks where are customer requirements, where is ER diagram, where are Selenium tests??????
And they still expect a research paper to be published....
Why do they don't understand the difference between software development and research works.. !!!!!!

being forced to perform a major version upgrade on a legacy service that your team doesn't own

fml

Just got a job offer without using a recruitment agency. Major success!

2 weeks before release of my App.
Have implemented nearly all major features.

Everytime I tell myself ah I can work tomorrow. What am I doing instead? Fucking Gaming lol.

Motivation is a bitch...

Well, not necessary my favourite but the first one I learned.

I think the weird syntax and semantics combined with the ridiculous average length of variable names is a major flaw in this one.

How does a computer science major pick up girls?

put on my glasses;

Oh, shit thought this was google. :-)

Happy Rant: today was the first time since before Christmas we did a major release after testing everything! Awesome. Drinks now :)

We don't sell your personal information; hopefully, by our definition, "personal information" doesn't really mean anything. We track you on 75% of major websites and store every bit of data you generate. My takeout.google.com was 14GB large. FUCK YOU

Over 67,000 people are affected by a major power outage in my city right now. I wonder how many servers are shutting down :(

Finally finished the longest ticket I've ever worked on in my life. The ticket title and description was a pretty simple and straightforward one: "Upgrade from PHP 7.4 to 8".

If it was only so simple in real life. Our application is mostly done with API Platform framework, which is based on top of Symfony framework which is based on top of PHP language.

Once I did PHP 7 => 8 upgrade I needed to upgrade API Platform 2 => 3. But of-course that couldn't have been done as before that I needed to upgrade from Symfony 5 => 6.

This all was literally an equivalent of touching into a wasp nest - it took me a bit over 5 months and 800 hours of work and there was literally not a single source file left untouched.

In the process of all of this I've ran into literally dozen undocumented feature-breaking changes, broken backwards-compatibility promises and inside out architectural changes - from both the frameworks and the language itself.

Upgrading just one major version of anything SHOULD NOT be so hard. And to top it all up just to think I will need to do this again in a year or two..

Experiences like these really set my hate for time-based model of releases and the state of today's development in general.

I got terminal white-space autism because of the CMS Of Doom.
Forgetting one or adding one too many leads to major problems on prod.

Lets create new project!!!! Oh our favorite package is 5 major released ahead. It completely another piece of technology after 7 years of development. Lets use 7 years old package!!!

I'm all about concepts. I start some project, go through solving major problems, and test it just to scream "It's alive! It can be done, an works!"
Then I lose interest and move on to something else...

when u feel that u wrote some godlike code. 2 months later client wants to add new features. then u realize ur code needs major refactoring. "what was i thinking, far from godlike"

Rude Bystander: "Oh, you're a computer science major? So can you flaunt your looks to get the guys to hack stuff for you?"

when your project manager is not from a technical background .. and major in business management.

Product Owner: There is a major bug with your code it's not working.

I then spend hour looking at code to find out.

It's a content problem!

Editing java files on server for deployment.

Deployed. Found major issue.
Don't have time. Editing source code on server changed if else
Rebuild and deploy.
Now push from server to repo and pull locally...
Pure sin.

WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS INFINITY WAR

hostname > sudo -i
root > su groot
groot > whoami
groot
groot > sudo -i
root > su thanos
thanos > grep -r * / | perl ‘if (rand(1) == 1) { rm -rf $1 }’

From last night:

Decrypting a LUKS volume group from a different install is a major pain in the drinking time. I can’t get this crap working no matter what I try. Ugh.

i was staging the fucker site to deploy and get on with it, but now the requirements changed, and major redesign is needed
I'm payed by hour but this shit still infuriates me

maybe, that's a minor update to your policy, but it's a major update to my privacy. No, thanks.

SSL should really stand for "Satan's Security Layer", because anytime I have to deal with it, it's always a major pain in the rear. (And an expensive pain at that!) Why in 2016 is the SSL process so bad.

While doing my undergrad, we had to submit a major project in last sem. We were grouped into teams. Spent whole semester doing nothing and near the deadline, a friend bought a project and i just changed the footer. On submission, we had the discussion with the external lecturer who viewed our project and he asked us to write down the number of tables we used in our project in separate paper each. A friend wrote 5 , I wrote 12, and the friend who has bought the project wrote 17. Turns out there were 11 tables. I said someone must have dropped a table.. And later made up saying i was doing the database and others were doing the rest of the project.
It was one of the lamest excuse we made to escape such uncomfortable situation.

Jesus fucking christ Google Analytics sucks major fucking donkey dick.

Peace

Dear Dark Side #1

Reformat code in all files
Push changes with commit message "Major changes."
Log 2 hours

Windows is more open than commercial Android distributions provided by the major phone manufacturers

Have a nice day ☕

How did you start learning to program? I've been teaching myself where ever I can and changed my major, but I feel like I could be learning more in less time. Any tips?

The college grad quit less than a year in. Now we are down one with a major effort coming up.

I honestly don't understand people who genuinely believe formal schooling will cover all the basics they need to know to do a real-life job, and still get barely passing grades on all relevant subjects.

I genuinely don't understand people who copy GitHub projects to pass classes, and graduate from a university with goddamn StackOverflow instead of a brain.

Whom I understand even less are people who don't do anything major-related on their spare time.

I mean, change your fucking major, do what you actually like, do things that actually light your nuts with passion.

Please don't waste my time pretending you are in it not just because it's potentially well-paid and "cool".

Please don't waste my time being my coworker.

Yes, I'm looking at you, trendy wanker with a CS degree and no personal projects.

P.S. Junior here. Yes, I'm full of hatred for all the "real programmers" in the industry out there. I hoped for a better experience.

P.S.S. I mean absolutely no offense to people using either GitHub or StackOverflow outside of the aforementioned context.

One language that I have always wanted to give more attentio to but felt as if I was in a constant fight was Haskell.

To me it felt unintuitive, and required a MAJOR shift in practice to get going. I really wanted to give it a chance but could not.

Every other language felt natural(even Lisp) but haskell for some reason seemed like a major mindfuck)

I am wondering what is the major difference between incognito mode and VPN?!

Best conversation with non tech roommate ever:

Me: hey roomie, implement an algorithm to determine if a string has all unique characters

Roommate: like a string of code or a string of yarn?

When I was taking a programming course as a Mathematics prerequisite, and then object oriented programming basics (inheritence, interfaces specifically) all just clicked at once. Immediately decided I was going to pursue the computer science major instead of math.

Morning: Received an update from designer
All day: implementing update
End of day: receive an update on the previous update with major changes

Me: I don't care if they don't have wifi in jail! 🔫😒

So saw some new cool technology/library (vue 2.0) and suddenly I feel like my codes are rubbish and outdated. major urge to rewrite months worth of codes. Is this self-suicidal mindset normal? please share.

Orz ....... How is there anyone dumb enough to ask that?

Apparently the OP is a Comp Sci major....

Feck. My brain bluescreened during a coding interview and I had a major panic attack. No clue what or why it happened. FML.

Pair programming a major refactoring, colleague tries to change _everything_ simultaneously. Spent hours fixing compiler errors, now it's not linking. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I will major in AI. No, I will major in Big data, wait, I want to major in cloud too. I think I should first complete the courses I enrolled on cloud academy or the tens of courses in enrolled on Udemy on all the domains possible first! So many technologies, so many dreams!

just gotta love changes that involve a major database redesign to properly implement weeks before it's supposed to go live

We've just scheduled a major release on a Friday.

whose idea was it to give the business major access to the database? we have one thousand tables that do the same thing or absolutely nothing, everything is badly named, and THE GRAMMAR

"Desired Characteristics:

Solid software development skills, in at least one major language (e.g. Java, JS, Node.JS, C, C++)"

Node, huh...

Don't check in a major/ groundbreaking change a day or two before sprint demo! However confident you are about your code just postpone it until after all sprint demos 😷

Finally start contributing to the FOSS world. I’ve used stuff like express and vscode for years, but am yet to open an issue or submit a pr to any major FOSS repo

As a fresh graduate in Hong Kong, majoring in information engineering. I still don't know how to explain what my major related to... And don't even expect me to know any node , react , angular, docker, etc...

Me maintaining my own old code, questioning why the fuck I thought it was a good idea to intertwine UI and logic. I gave up trying to do some major updates and started work on version 2 instead.

I don't have a Computer Science (CS) degree, but I do know a lot of Computer Shit. Major Computer Shit. So yeah, I guess I major in CS after all.

Hate the urge to rewrite, when a new major version of your JS library is out....

Especially when you're at the last laps of your project...

I suffer from major imposter syndrome, despite having years of experience, domain knowledge, and a MS in CS. Help.

If any of you have been following my last few rants, you'll know I've been working on a project with a particularly difficult client, trying to meet wholly unrealistic deadlines with only one other developer.

The situation has reached the climax. The client had a call with our project manager and boss on Monday to discuss things. Despite them still not having paid a single bill since October, they've demanded the release date be moved to the 6th April. Apparently we'd agreed to release on this date, despite making no such promises, the (optimistic) deadline we were working towards has always been, since it was set about 2 weeks ago, the 16th April.

Apparently AWS migration won't take as long as we think it will, because the designers that do the CSS for this project say so, despite knowing nothing about the architecture of the requirements of the system once live (like if backups are required and what of).

The bottom line is that client is ending development with us the day after the project goes live to give it to their own in-house team. If they want us to work more after the date, they have to buy blocks of days.

To make things better, a large part of new functionality relies on an external API we can't even begin to do learning tests with, let alone integrate due to back-office errors on their end. They've had since Friday to give us our token, yet here we are.

Something tells me my holidays booked for for the first week of April are going by the wayside.

Spent the last 2 and a half days working on sth, it turned out great. Was pointed out a major mistake in the structure, have to redo about 95%. Kill me now.

#DoneAndDusted
Finally completed final year major project, last step of B.E. in CS COMPLETED!
Joining office in June as full time in same company which I did internship. Work will be long and tough but interesting.

Everyone was joking about how no major innovations are really being made for front-end. Then you get Microsoft saying they want native 3D model support in browsers. Like, for what?

I have some ex colleagues and friends now devs in Facebook, Amazon, or other major companies. No life, monothematic arguments, no hobbies, no time. I surely prefer my simpler life.

Any one else following Dota Bucharest major

When the update schedule for a service you rely on involves sending release notes for major (sometimes breaking) updates on Saturday...in preparation for a release first thing on Monday morning.

Rewrote a dashboard on my own in under 6 months helping them to secure some major sales and investment.

My best friend's ex is really cool. But while they were dating, I was a bit frustrated, mainly because he was interested in many things she wasn't.

One thing that annoyed me was that his major is computer science, and her major is medical research.

GIRL, IF ONLY YOU WERE ALSO MAJORING IN COMPUTERS. YOU CAN ASK THE GUY FOR HELP WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS. EXPLOIT HIIIIM. HAVE COFFEE DATES AT STARBUCKS AND CODE TOGETHEEER. HIT TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE

One of professors has an interesting philosophy in regards to how software is planned. He makes us forget that we dealing with a computer and has us write instructions as if we are teaching a human (no optimization, binary, or unnecessary numeral variables). Then we change it into code, then we optimize it. Every time. It freaks me out, but it gets us thinking. Not sure. If that is genius or insanity.

Auth0 and Okta merge.... Is Cognito the only other major player here? This merge now makes an Auth monopoly!

You guys believe in crypto currency in a near future to play a major role in our lives? Which one(s) you have?

In russian, one space can turn “C major” into “everyone is eating at my house uncontrollably”

I had one major burnout and since then I have been [rapidly] cycling in and out of burnout.

Manager changes major feature in spec 3 days from deployment. Says "this kind of thing happens, not my fault"

That doesn't fucking help.

My source of rants in Scala.
Why the fuck the binaries are not compatible?
Every major update is a nightmare!

If you could solve *one* of the major unresolved problems in computer science, which one would you choose and *why*?

Am I more active because I am feeling good, or is it because it's too hot here? 🤔

Anywho, giant NN classifier, come at me!

PS. I think it's gonna be a a major failure, but YOLO. 😜

When you're upgrading major versions in your stack and the fix you've been working on for 2+ hours only fixes ONE TEST CASE...only 489 to go

Working for a major video portal in germany. Editors complaining because people are unable total find a Video because they are unable total type the correct title of the video with french accent degut. 😂😂

My job as DevOps combines two of my major passions: Coding and yelling at developers.

Can't tell if the cat's name is Major Strides, or they're using the cat as a metaphor of the Strides they've taken... 🤔

Android development -
Where you can release a major update over a weekend but spend weeks trying to fix a small bug that 'might' affect a very small group of users

I'd be lying to y'all if I said that a major part of me doesn't want to see the downfall of these "too big to fail" companies (Google/Apple/Microsoft).

Gonna be applying for college. Gonna major in programming.. I've always read the horror stories.. I hope my teachers arent retarded and dont make me use shit software..

Any advice?..

When people think that because they can "fix" computers that they should major in Computer Science. 😂

When you spend months putting together a major update for the original scope of a project, release the update to a client, and the first thing they say: "Where's that new feature I asked for last week?"

Today I am an awesome because the major Ruby upgrade went out the door to production with zero downtime. What makes you badass today?

Being victim of an arbitrary worplace's culture on dev experience and documentation makes me a very frustrated dev.

Often I do want to document, and by that, I don't mean laying an inline comment that is exactly the function's name, I mean going full technical writer on steroids. I can and WILL get very verbose, yes, explaining every single way you can use a service - no matter how self explanatory the code might look.
I know developers (and me included) can, and sometimes will, write the best variable and function names at the time, wondering if they reached the peak of clean, DRY code that would make Robert Martin have a seizure and piss himself, only to find weeks later after working on something else that their work is unreadable. Of course.
I know the doc's public, it's me, and I've done this.

But then again explain for the people in the back how the FUUUUCK are we meant to suggest improvements, when we are not the ones who are prioritising features and shit WITH the business?

Just email me when the fucking team recycles, and no new team member knows how to even setup the IDEs because this huge piece of monumental shit called CompanyTM is also run by VPN. Fuck, no one wants to access that garbage, you have no docs.

I once tried setting up a culture for documentation. I did an herculean amount of work studying what solutions were internally homologated, how steep the learning curve would be from what we had at the moment (NOTHING, WE HAD FUCKING NOTHING, jesus christ, I even interviewed SEVENTEEN other squads to PROVE they FUCKING NEED
DOCS
TO WORK

You know what happened to that effort?
It had a few "clap" reactions on a Teams meeting and it never reached the kanban.
It didn't even made it to backlog.

I honestly hope that, someday, an alien fenomenon affects the whole company, making their memories completely reset, only to have the first one - after the whole public ordeal on why our brains became milkshake -, to say: "oh, boy, I wish we had documented this".
Then I will bring them to the back and shoot them.

So I fucked something up on Friday (midday) without realizing it just so I would work overtime to fix my mess while my co-workers are playing ps4...
Oh well. Don't do anything major on Friday. Ever.

Is it me or software subscriptions make developers lazy?

There is a great photo editing software: Capture One. Every year they release a new major version, so users need to buy an upgrade. In the past developers packed a bunch of big changes into major update, also they released 3 minor updates yearly, and every minor update brought some cool features. But then they added subscription model which was cheaper then perpetual model. And at the same time major updates became not that cool. Developers started to add enterprise features needed by museums, features involving other camera brands users, changes targeted at newbies and so on. For perpetual model users most of these changes are not worth 80-255 EUR yearly (depends on license type and offs) but is ok for subscription model users because they continue using the software and even small updates and enhancements are fine for them.

Not every major update is that weak but many of them are not worth upgrade. And developers are not motivated to do more cool stuff because subscription model users will continue paying for their subscriptions.

Tales from University Tech Support:

Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30

Obviously not a Math Major...

Nothing makes Monday more exciting than a major bug in production.

Socket IO released a major update not 8 days ago. I spent an hour getting a "400 Bad handshake method" until I discovered my server had updated to 3.0.1 but my client was still in 2.3.0.

Trying to install macOS on my PC and it keeps failing at the major install point during to "security".... For fucks sake!

-Friends: *having the time of their lives*

-Me:*hiding with a semicolon ever since I started coding*

~🍓

*When someone asks me about my college major and how it looks like *

I hate working with sh*tty Devs

I used that term specifically.. No it's not about juniors, it's about those who pretend to be seniors.
In a major company project, one of us has to take a week or two to refactor that one "senior" dev work. When tested it performs poorly, when checked, it violates every SE principle and the business people are wondering why we keep seeing `refactoring User Stories/Tasks` and why we still don't have a working project yet. Yes, we will never have, that mess that `senior` dev created is almost impossible to refactor without major rework.
Now, major rework coming, we need to give something to that Senior so he doesn't feel left behind. Argue to never let him get anything in core or this company will go under...

In short, I hate working with sh*tty devs.

Major release today, went badly of course. None of it was my fault, still I have to fix it. Best release so far.

We have people from all different types of backgrounds here on DevRant, and I feel like lots of us just kind of spontaneously discovered the dev world without really planning on it.

That makes me wonder, what did you major in during college, and is it related to what you're doing now? Did you major is Computer Science/Software Engineering/Web Development, or something completely different?

I double-majored in Algebraic Geometry and Astrophysics, and while my math background does come in handy as a developer, I'm very rarely applying what I actually specialized in to my dev work