"We're a team!"

"We need to work together!"

...product managers, sheesh

Thats easy. Really easy.

Create role groups that allow certain lifecycle permissions - only devs are allowed to move a ticket to "in work", only qa is allowed to move a ticket to "in qa" and from "in qa", etc.
In addition, create a scripted trigger that sends a slack msg + email msg to The PM every hour - for every mention and ticket assigned to him. That way he can't say "I did not see" the ticket.

@magicMirror wow, just wow.

@neriald Only speaking from experience here 😉.

The day when the RND manager asked me to prevent the PM access to JIRA, so the PM could not add tickets to the sprints 😁. I put that one in my CYA directory.

when he mowves ticket assigned to you from wip to done, assign it to him, then move it from done to wip.

then stop working on it.
on the next meeting when he asks why it's not done, respond "i don't know, you're the owner, and you moved it to done. why did you move it to done if you haven't actually done it? and when will you do it?"

@magicMirror your first comment shows the complete idiocy we have to work with. its like overhead coding to manage overhead itself. some days i just want to jump off a bridge

@fullstackchris
No worries mate - treat it as a fun side project, where you can mess with people.

Playing around with JIRA is what I do to avoid burnout, as weird as it sounds.

Closing tickets is fun!

@magicMirror yeah, it was so specific it was obvious you had done that before 😅. Felt sorry for you but at the same time couldn’t help but imagine you setting up squirt/nerf gun and shooting PM each time a ticket is assigned to him 😂

@neriald
That conversation was:
TL: oh, and the rnd manager wants you to find a way to allow only these people to be able add tickets to sprints.
Me: What? Why?
TL: Some stupid internal politics with the PM reasons.
Me: 👹. No problem then. As soon as I get that request in am email to CMA

3 months later, the PM discovers he can't add tickets. When he was training his new Junior PM....