Me, when designing a High Level Design...

I have been offered ESOP's. I have no clue how to evaluate its worth or potential worth? Need help

Half my day is spent manipulating people to work in their best interest.

When my team mates server responds "Internal server Error" with a 200.

- Knock knock...

- Who's there?
- Who's there?
- Who's there?

- non-idempotent request...
- non-idempotent request...
- non-idempotent request...

Me Visiting a new location...

*Device found a new wi-fi signal:
worldsMostSecureRouter

*Enter password:
worldsMostSecureRouter123

*Authorizing...
*Obtaining IP address
*Connected

many from the outside world believe incognito is the purest form of anonymity and security.....because its logo has a suspicious man with a hat and an overcoat

Agreeing to everything during a long, boring meeting and finally realizing that you just agreed to rebuilding the entire great wall of china within span of 3 weeks

Has any of your clients asked you to disable inspect element and right click on webpages to protect their COPYRIGHT images from being downloaded...

Shitty-Clent-side: Onclick of submit button, send request to server
Server: Responds with a 500 error.
Shitty-Client-Side: change "Submit" to "Submitted" and backgroumd color to green(because UX is important and error handling can go to hell)

Client request: POST /user/login
Server response: "Login working bitches"
Client: if (response === "Login working bitches"){
//sign in
}

My new team mates type in the date and time of commit on their commit messages and maintain code only on master branch. Some people deserve have their write access revoked.

I automatically don't trust People who use pictures of clouds on the background for anything related to cloud computing.