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Could simply be growth.
This week, I had to dust off lots of C arcane knowledge that I barely remembered.
They didn't come into use for my line of work in decades, so naturally, other knowledge takes its place in the forefront, and, the more you diversify, you end up with a broader perspective of the whole process, and naturally end in architecture/DevOps/sysadmin, etc, at the price that low level details give way. -
@jestdotty that's twisted, my lord. Do you have any way to recover?
I don't know, basically my sleep schedule is fucked because of anxiety, I started having panick attacks over stupid things like too thick saliva that makes me feel I'm going to suffocate and high stress work is sure another factor (lot of requests, lot to learn even if I'm experienced).
Family life also have lot of chores and duties.
That said I often tought about neuroinflammation and his nasty effects.
How one goes about diagnosing neuroinflammation presence? -
@CoreFusionX It's not only that, some days I really struggle making up with simple tasks or simple code I've done multiple times in the past, like common anti-sql injection practices, familiar programming patterns and so on. I get lost in the details and start to procrastinate because I feel I can't finish the task and an uncanny and inexplicable sense of procrastination overcomes everything even if I have deadlines.
I find myself distracting with whatever else task but the one I should focus just to avoid doing it because I know it's difficult for me in that moment.
It absolutely sucks and kills my motivation and self esteem -
@jestdotty Both your POVs are really interesting and I will surely dwell more into them as I need to discover the root causes of this shit that is happening to me. Thanks for the insight
Need help from fellow devs.
It's been at least 3-4 years and it's getting worse.
I keep being demotivated, forgetful, inconclusive and not on point with code. (Yeah I know, I rant about angular, but that's a 10 years hate).
Today I'm supposed to do some table component that has pagination, buttons and shit in angular (yeah.... from scratch, they want to design the whole thing from 0) and I'm getting all confused by managing pagination, input to angular components, and all the simple stuff that I'VE DONE COUNTLESS TIMES.
I keep forgetting details, small meetups (under 20 mins) where we discuss lot of small details of implementation and I loose a lot of the details, forget a lot of stuff and have an hard time to put all the info togheter in a meaningful group of informations to have all the information available in an usable way at the moment of developing code.
Often I get rage outbursts because I don't understand things like before and I have to read and write down every fucking thing.
Often I get discouraged because I get lost in the details of big projects.
I have a lot of experience and that's what keeps me afloat.
I got panick attacks for small things and I never had panick attacks.
I feel I would need to stay away at all from programming for 2 months to have some passion back in it.
My mind is exhausted.
Some new brilliant colleagues joined the company and so I feel compelled to compete
and it works solely thanks to my superior experience.
I feel like a total dumbass and mentally challenged now.
Is it burnout? is it depression? What is it?
question
burnout