TCP vs UDP

What's the best thing about UDP jokes?

I don't care if you get them.

A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .

In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.

A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.

A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”

When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.

IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” 

The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.

The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.

The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.

I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.

I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...

The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!

DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them

The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.

The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh

I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…

What's the best thing thing about UDP jokes?

I don't care if you get them.

me: do you know what is so great about UDP jokes?
you: No
me: the fact that i don't care if you got them.

My friend was telling me some UDP jokes earlier, I only got half of them.

I'm seeing so many UDP jokes, just repost after repost. Can you guys just stop? I never get them.

#UDPjokes

Not a rant: Devrant is the only place where i can write or read programming jokes that do not feel like UDP requests.

Lately, I have been seeing more of devJokes than devRant. Even I've got some UDP jokes, but I'm afraid no one might get it.

Perfectly explained

The punchline often arrives before the set-up. Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

My friend cracked that UDP joke in an interview!
wham! He's now a networking engineer at Cisco! :D
Moral: Learn all the classic jokes before giving an interview!

Is this a devRant thing?

UDP joke, I don't care if you get it.

!rant. I'd tell you a joke about UDP but you probably won't get it and I couldn't care less.

What's the funny thing about UDP jokes?

I don't care if you get them.

Responding to a numb sales guys joke with "do you know the best about UDP jokes? - I don't care if you don't get it! " ...turnin around left the hallway... Unbeatable