Should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize

Versioning is like fart. If you have to force to push it, it's probably shit.

Ref: Reddit

This is so accurate...

(From random twitter post)

Young UX startups be like

Here's the design, you just code it.

"I learn really fast and almost never need to look at the documentation."

@matvelloso on Twitter

If the code and the comments disagree, they both are probably wrong.

Create DB connection file in every other place and writing password in all those connection files. 😒👿

Then using grep and sed like a pro to change passwords in one go. 🤷

Scratching their heads as to why the script says DB connection error.... After an hour or so; finding out that the password contains '@' sign it was under double quotes. 🤦

Bugs fix in production.

Taking showers. I get random ideas in shower.

So, I recently set up fail2ban on one of our new servers. In 4 days we got 16k failed SSH login attempts. Found out that most of them were from South Korea. A few months back one of our competitors failed to have a deal with our organization. Interestingly, they were a South Korean. Lol.

What's the best thing about UDP jokes?

I don't care if you get them.

"False Positive" and "False Negative" errors

Use that Tab button. It's there for a reason. If you are too lazy to use it then use an IDE that formats the code.
Also learn to comment your code wherever needed and in English. If you don't know where it's needed, Google is your friend if not your senior.

If your code is giving HTTP 500 error on a production server, go kill yourself, until you are having a development environment on the production server. In that case, kill your manager! 💢

If a girl resolves a bug created by you, marry her 😉

A new type of dev hiring strategy:

I'll pick some selected rants from devRant and show it to the candidate on a white board. Their reaction will decide their chances of hiring ;-)

hahaha

My tinder status:

//Recently relocated to Bangalore

looking for friendship();
beauty += brains;
turn_ons = {tech_talks, humour, adventure};
turn_offs = {selfie_addiction, crap_chat, discussing_people};
If (you in turn_ons &! turn_offs)
swipe right();
else
swipe left();

 “If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started.”
– Actual excerpt from a windows program help file!

Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.

My daily Unix command list: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.