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Search - "when"
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When my colleague asks for help when debugging, I like to start of with setting a few breakpoints.5
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The original story:
"When I've got my very first android I was downloading any shit from Play Store. There was app called pattern security or something like that. The app was taking selfies everytime power button was pressed several times and then photo would sent to email. One day I left my old phone at home and at the office this is the photo i've received."12 -
Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's better than nothing.5
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Came home late last night and told my wife I'm skipping dinner to take a 1hr nap as it's going to be a long night of bug fixing and testing. Woke up, my wife and 1yr old son are already asleep. Saw the pic below posted on the wall above my work area at home. She's a teacher, she's never heard me mention it, and I don't use this method (I prefer music on my headphones). But she does know I lurk devrant so she must've browsed here while I was napping. Feels good. Code fixed, checked-in, unit tested and released for user testing.6
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Who hates when their parents think they're playing video games when in reality we're programming?17
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Documentation is like sex.
When it's good, it's very good.
When it's bad, it's better than nothing.23 -
Imagine being a gitlab employee scrolling through devRant being the reason for 90% of todays rants6
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- you don't like math
- you don't like study
- you don't read documentation
- you throw out the manual
- you like to punch a clock
- you dislike books and reading
- you don't ever work more than 8 hours
- you can't tolerate the occasional weekend work day
- you fold under pressure
- you aren't good at crunch time
- you can't do on-call without committing seppuku
- you don't have attention to detail
- you aren't interested in technology
- you're not good at explaining things
- you can't deal with change
- you're not excited by the prospect of extreme variety
- you don't have the ability to focus
- you can't deal with ego without resorting to violence
- you can't deal with someone calling your baby ugly
- you can't discriminate between fact and opinion
And many, many more23 -
Dev : Every user in your organisation requires their own username and password...
User: Why?
Dev: Because if everyone uses one account, every note, product, message etc made by all the user's will be saved to that one account and confuse the he'll out of everyone using it when they can't find their 'own' information they made/captured/downloaded.
We just need the user emails.
User:We can't give you all the user emails just use one account ....
(The reason for not providing us the emails is purely cause it would require user to do work and that's out of the question)
Dev: Uhm ok, but this is not what you want, and *interrupts*
User: It is what we want, do it like that everyone will understand and it will make the system easier.
*Two weeks later*
User: Why is there only one account? Why doesn't everybody have their own account? This is not what we wanted.
... The shit you have to deal with when you are on holiday ...undefined where to hide bodies you still thing it's our fault working even when i'm not working i was right and you were wrong stil my fucking problem6 -
So many interruptions!
So many distractions!
I just want to fucking finish this refactor. I dont' care about meetings, texts, bloody office game tournaments, lunchtime, gossip, or people trying to be friendly. Just let me fucking work!
If you see me rocking out with my headphones on and working furiously, seriously, just don't fucking interrupt. I'll bite.16 -
I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.
I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!
Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.rant idiots import * fragile monstrosity leggy devs why code when you can steal no independent thought npm mentality10 -
I’ve been a teacher and have dated nurses but being a programmer you will never sleep at night fml .4
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Documentation is like sex... When it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's better than nothing.4
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Worst:
One fine Friday night in early '97 while drinking with my buddies I got a page from work. Called the office to understand what the problem is.
*shit I can't fix this over the phone, and buddy here doesn't have a PC so I can't dial-in via PCAnywhere*
Told told the users "Ok I'll be there in an hour and a half. Stop all the running jobs and start the backup"
*figures I still have 1hr to spare so continues to down fair amounts of O-be-joyful with buddies then hailed a cab to office*
I arrived in office 1.5hrs later (2am) exactly as I predicted and went straight to work. Initial checks confirmed my suspicion of the issue so I wrote the appropriate SQL to get started:
'drop table foobar'
***The specified table (foobar) is not in the database***
I looked at foobar and figured out immediately why I got the error, then corrected the SQL and ran again:
'drop database foobar'
***Database dropped***
*What the FUCK!!! You fucking drunk!!! What did you fucking do? What if I disappear to another country, work as a waiter or something*
After a few moments of panic and a good deal of 'What ifs' I calmed down, looked to the users and made up some bullshit "Some of the indexes are corrupted, we need to restore from the backup"
Best:
I wrote most of my '94 midterm project during weekends where me and my buddies were drunk
https://devrant.com/rants/783197/...2 -
I HATE it when I give my phone to my friends for like 2 mins and they clear my notifications and recent apps while giving back!
Why bro?12 -
Average linux developer: writes completely fast, optimized code that compiles the first time all via the terminal. He doesn't care.
Also average linux developer: decides to call it Winblows instead of Windows in an attempt to get more people to use linux. He feels like a genius.20 -
Root has standup.
Root: I had no ticket yesterday morning, so I followed up on <TicketA> with <PersonA> and updated it in Jira and linked its related tickets; talked with <PersonB> about <TicketB>, and reviewed code review comments on <TicketC>, and thought about those while looking into the CI spec failure on <TicketD>. I collapsed for 3 hours before fixing it. Halfway through the collapse, I talked with <PersonC> on <TicketC> CR comments and the spec issue in <TicketD>, then went to lay down again. Afterward, I solved the spec issue in <TicketD>, and started on the new ticket <TicketE> before calling it a day. Plans today are to <…>.
Manager, in private: I need you to proactively let me know if you’re taking long breaks and aren’t working as this impacts business flow.
—————
Yeah.
My update was four times longer than the others’ despite her not giving me a ticket to work on. I responded to slack while I was collapsed on the floor and discussed tickets. And, after I recovered, I went back to work to finish my 8h shift. But this isn’t good enough? And I need to let her know in advance when I’m going to collapse and be a bloody mental zombie for hours? It would be amazing if I knew. I barely have a few minutes notice, and that’s only if I’m really paying attention and looking for signs.
And (conjecture) she probably still thinks I’m not performing well enough. “Affecting our business flow” probably means she’s angry I didn’t talk to other people about low-priority <TicketE> yesterday while I was laying on the damned floor.
Goddamn I hate her.11 -
The overhead on my JS projects is killing me. Today, I went to implement a simple feature on a project I haven't touched in a few weeks. I wasted 80% of my time on mindless setup crap.
- "Ooh, a simple new feature to implement. Let's get crackin'!"
- update 1st party lib
- ....hmm, better update node modules
- and Typescript typings while I'm at it
- "ugh yeah," revert one node module to outdated version because of that one weird proxy bug
- remove dead tsd references
- fix TS "errors" generated by new typings
- fix bug in 1st party lib
- clean up some files because the linter is nagging me
- pee
- change 6 lines of code <-- the work
- commit!3 -
When somebody says they know how to program and I ask them what languages they know and they say XML, CSS, HTML.16
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developers with non coding girlfriends.
you know when you can work on your projects........... when she sleeps!!10 -
I don't always listen to music while coding, but when I do, it's because things are absolutely unmitigably fucked and it's going to take some herculean effort to unfuck it.
I have this thing I've done for more years than my kids have been alive when shit really hits the fan and I need to show the staff the old lady can still lay waste.
Step 1: put on "the playlist," which consists of only the most aggressive 90s marilyn manson songs.*
Step 2: put on the headphones, which are noise cancelling and super bassy
Step 3: pound a monster (blue, obv)
Step 4: get super manic
Step 5: get in the zone and destroy several features or a flotilla of bugs in a single night
Step N: make absolute fucking magic
Step N+1: call in sick the next day and sleep til noon
What's your hero process?
*Content has less to do with it than the headspace I've come to associate with it and the fact I can't get drowsy with the constant aggression.rant excessive force is probably the answer violence when all else fails rage burnout fuel top of the mountain ballmer peak13 -
MFW searching for a solution to an issue, I find a thread about it and the only response is:
“I don’t have this problem on my end.”2 -
My first job stared when i was 16 when i make my first power generator with some hardware stuff and c++.
I remember when it explodes one week later.6 -
Yesterday I changed my phone's battery. Now guess who stuck with broken loudspeaker phone..
Man, I miss the old day when you can pop that back cover and change the battery.3 -
Normal programmers cheer up when their code runs,
Haskell programmers cheer up when their code compiles.4 -
The best feeling in the world is when your code works the first time or when you close 100 tabs when you finish work7
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When you finally finish your app and have it ready for first release, but when you package it, the app instantly closes when you open it.2
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When you boss marks everything critical and you respond with "when everything's critical, nothing's critical." And he scowls.1
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A client of mine kept getting hit with a ransomware that was spread over rdp. So I set aside this whole week going to different sites this guy owns. Setting up a VPN tunnel and showing them how to use it. So they didn't have to rdp anymore. No more having a server with rdp facing on the outside of there network. They were all linked in like they were in the same office. I traveled around 400 miles going to all these locations. I finally got it done went back to the main office to talk to the owner. Instead of a thank first thing they say as soon as I walk in is to revert it all. We are going with a different company and they are buying new computers and server from the other company. After he tells me that he then says but when the new computers come in will you come and set them up for us because we are stupid with computers.
I reverted the stuff and walked out. Didn't say a word to him. Didn't agree to set up the new computers. Why should I set them up. He just pretty much bent me over and screwed me out of a extra couple thousand dollars.3 -
Typical conversation between my parents and me
Parents: Can you make stuff?
Me: Make what?
Parents: The thing you do all the time.
Me: "Computer stuff"?
Parents. Yah...
Me: Well, yes, why?
Parents: What can you do?
Me: Well, I know C# the most...
Parents: Can you then make software like Facebook, Twitter, etc?
Me: Well, I can, but that will take a lot of time.
Parents: You should really make something and make money.
Me: Ok. (goes into my room, and turns on laptop)
(a few monents later....)
--[[CHORUS START]]--
Parents: U DOIN COMPUTER???
Me: Uh-huh.
Parents: When did I said to do "Computer stuff"?
Me: Well, you said to rest.
Parents: But I never said to do your "Computer stuff"!
Me: But you said to rest. For an hour!
Parents: WHY U SHOUT AT ME!!!! TURN OFF THAT **** NOW!
Me: Ok.... (turns off and opens C# book immediately)
Parents: What's that?
Me: C# book
Parents: What's C#?
Me: Programming language.
Parents: Where can you use it?
Me: Make stuff.
Parents: Like what?
Me: (lists my personal projects)
Parents: Show me.
Me: (turns on the computer and shows one of it)
Parents: Good. (leaves)
--[[CHORUS END]]--
Me: (deep breath) Can I FINALLY use the computer?
--[[CHOURS]]--undefined coding when can i get the time first world problems money does not fall from the sky parents conversation9 -
me, when someone yells at me for not able to resolve an "electronic" issue because I'm pursuing a computer science degree2
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🍰
Today I navigate the devRant oceans for the 157,680,000 second.
Who knew this place would be still pumping some of the greatest devs I've come to appreciate so many years later, it's not the vibrant place it once was, but it's still full of hidden gems.1 -
found this in our codebase today
try {
//do something
} catch () {
try {
//do something else
} catch () {
try {
//do something else else... this goes on 4-5 levels deep
} catch () {
//log... couldn't do
}
}
}9 -
When I'm on Windows, I miss Linux sometimes
When I'm on Linux, I miss Windows sometimes
When I'm on mac, I wonder why this isn't Linux instead22 -
**Me, while working on sql based project**
Manager: Does anyone knows java! Want a sample login screen written in java.
**I'm the only one in my team to know java, thus raised my hand**
Me: It's done. Mailed you the .java file.
Manager: I can see my password
Me: I fuckn hate myself. ***Forgot to set password field as password type***
Manager: you are no different than others.
Me: Yeah..😶 **f@#& you**1 -
40 minutes to realize that the "Access denied" error was not about the database on the server but about a local file.
And a sudo solved everything2 -
BOSS allowed a last minute change that apparently was barely tested to be merged right before the last release of the year...
BOOM!!!
Me: ... I told you so....1 -
I'm officially becoming legal and losing my FBI license in less than 24 hours :/
I miss being 17 and below now13 -
On the next episode of "when life gives you lemons" we will teach you how to enter a USB correctly on the first go. Yes, you heard me, after 7 years of research, and 2 years of not research, we did it!4
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I get surprised everytime my mom sends me something on discord. 😐
Idk why, I cannot fathom that my online presence is so violated by someone who used to nag at me to do my homework.
We need to start banning parents from joining certain networks. Just saying!18 -
Me a month ago: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
*Recruiter finds me and offers me a full-time opportunity*
Me now: "Well, I guess I can look into it..."
Me 9 months from now: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
Repeat until dead.2 -
This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.
I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.
"Hey Human,
I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.
FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.
I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.
PeeEm**"
This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:
// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.
// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*
Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.
*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.
**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.9 -
Sad story of how software die 👻!
When do you call a technology obsolete 👴?
Mac user: when you have something new and costly 💰!
Linux user: when it is old and free 🆓 open source alternative are released!
Windows user: when antivirus 🕵 can no longer protect you!1 -
When I was a kid :
- Bugs eat grass
Now:
- Bugs eat time
I still wonder when will the day come when I write bug-free code in my first attempt (:(8 -
So I mentioned before that I managed to beat the ATS system for one job posting and got an immediate interview invite.
They one upped me by sending me to a video interview with an AI. It's supposed to analyze my facial expressions and determine if I'm worthy of being hired.
Got a rejection email just now.
So after all that hard work, looks like Skynet didn't like me very much 😛.6 -
Brought my Mac to holidays so I can code... while at it, I realized that I left the charger at home ..Now I'll have to go home with a depressed state of mind2
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This was a long time ago, when I was working part time in my uni helpdesk. as part of the uni IT service, they offered ISP services at the dorms. It was cheap, and fast. This essentially allowed students living in the dorms to connect thier personal computers to the uni LAN. Then one day...
An ARP poison malware infected some of those computers. An arp poison attack is simple (look at ettercap) - it redirects network traffic via the affected computer, and adds malware to webtraffic to infect more computers. One of these on a network is bad enough, but when there more then one... traffic was redirected a lot. this caused the Dorm switches to collapse under the load. Fun times to work at the helpdesk...
The IT guys came up with a solution for this: they blocked the arp poision attacks at the firewall, and then disabled the switch port for the infected computer for 24 hours. so, when someone called with 'I have no internet!', we told them to bring us the computer, and installed an AV on it.
3-4 month the problem was cleared. -
Fffffff uuuuu regex!!!! :@........
*then I finally get it working*
......I am king! And can now do anything!!!! :-D2 -
Writing a paper in Microsoft Word and I can't stop pressing esc then :w when wanting to save,or :wq when wanting to save and quit, or :q! when wanting to rage and quit.3
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You know your idea was shit when....
You see it on devrant as the subject of someone's all caps, swear word filled rant...1 -
Boss: "we're going to take over a project from another company. that's what we know so far - any other questions?"
Me: "do we get the history (svn/git) or just current source? unit tests?"
Other company: "no history for you. no unit tests - app was only tested manually"
Me: *sigh* :'(3 -
When life hands you lemons,
create a startup to market lemon juice
as a healthy, low-carb alternative to
lemonade.5 -
Mixing lazy loading with event-based code == events won't be handled because the class won't subscribe to events until it's initialized hours after startup
Thank you, my dear lazy-loading lover, who keeps introducing hard-to-spot bugs everywhere. I wish your hand was as lazy as your code, that would have saved hours of debugging time. -
So I just recently found out there's a local idol group named MNL48 in here.
Basically bringing the seiyuu/J-Pop culture in the Philippines.
...
Maybe I should've became an idol instead of a senior high school programmer :/3 -
When is the point where you aren't allowed to touch your own AI anymore?
When it's capable of speech?
When it shows emotions?
When it becomes self aware?
When does it stop being file deletion and start becoming murder?5 -
On my system Android Studio sucks half of my RAM. Come on guys, even sharks are not that hungry for blood.
If in the worst case you had Chrome running in bg, the system will just kill itself. -
Windows updates are a bit like SAW, you either inflict the pain on yourself or wait until it is forced upon you.
🤬6 -
[Me at night]
1 Me: should I sleep?
2 Brain: right after finishing this module
3 Me: <drinking coffee>
4 goto 16 -
Not a rant!
Reaction when a person responds your joke with " I will go home, figure it out, laugh and will text you!!!!"
#priceless :/2 -
When you do some researchs on the net, you may not find all the answers, but there are definitely a lot of questions..
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Google keeps deprecating stuff way too quickly 👺
Get some stability.... There are like 4 or 5 libraries for just google sign in right now...
All of them are official 😵5 -
Why isn't there a notification when somebody downvotes you?
I'm bursting with joy when I see my shitty comments get negative points, but unfortunately I am not notified when this happens.19 -
Why all of a sudden when in front of customer the application stopped responding😬😬 not when I am using that nor when we developed it😤😤3
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When variable naming should be policed... $is_not_checkout. WTF!! Even worse when seen in context.
If (!$is_not_checkout) {
// do something when on the checkout
}2 -
Confucius says: not everything that can be done tomorrow, should be done today.
Let's just say it was an extension of the shit show that occurred this week and sweep it under the rug 🤐
Happy fucking Friday!!!7 -
My mum: "When I found you taking the brand new computer apart when you were 12, then it still working when you put it back together, I knew you'd end up working with computers".
Nobody was surprised when I got my first job as a developer.1 -
My laptop has its own life...
I arrived at the lecture, start the laptop, black screen... Alrighty, might be the update from yesterday, I will just revert to the old version. Nothing... After multiple reboots and troubleshooting, I put my laptop down and go the old way of sitting down notes.
Then I come home after university and I'm set on fixing my laptop. I start it, it works perfectly fine...
I'm not even sure what fixed it..6 -
When some other team wants to blame us because they're getting a HTTP Status Code 0....
That's not even a valid status... IT MEANS YOU ABORTED THE REQUEST AND KILLED THE CONNECTION...
OH STILL OUR FAULT... WELL DO U KNOW ABOUT NETWORK ISSUES AND SERVER OVERLOADING WHEN U SPAM IT WITH TOO MANY REQUESTS?
OH YOU RETRIED? HOW DID YOU RETRY? BETTER NOT BE SPAMMING US WITH MORE REQUESTS...
EVER HEARD OF TCP/IP BACK OFF LOGIC....4 -
Giving the stink-eye to the stakeholder who scheduled an important meeting when I’m out on PTO 😒😑😠 And my calendar had the day blocked off for weeks. Stakeholder probably doesn’t want me there because I’ll just tell them their “solutions” aren’t actually solutions.3
-
I've just opened LinkedIn (I don't know why) and I found an hilarious job offered in the home page: they are searching a JUNIOR programmer (for an internship) having experience in RPG IV programming language and OS/400. I never heard of that so I googled it and... LMAO.5
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I hate my brain.
When I want to program it's always when I'm outside doing chores, on a trip or when I'm at my non-dev job.
When I finally get home and ready for working on projects my brain feels like watching Schwarzenegger films instead.
Fuck you brain.1 -
Just the fact that you wrote your simple single page "contact us" website in React shows that you have no idea what you're doing, nor do you have any idea what the actual benefits of React are and in what situations it actually shines. You're just jumping on the React bandwagon for the sake of saying "I wrote it in React," and your decision to use React for that simple website is going to effectively increase It's development time without adding any additional benefits.
Each framework has its advantages and disadvantages. It's worth it to pay attention to these advantages/disadvantage, and choose the best framework to fit your needs. Don't just use a particular framework because it's the hot new craze. Use a framework because it's the right choice from a technical standpoint, and presents you with advantages that fit your application needs.1 -
If you’re a frontend developer but you don’t know when to use -, when to use – and when to use —, you’re not a frontend developer. You’re a monkey.17
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when you open up devRant spontaneously when washing up and ready till you see posts from when you went to bed.... whelp time to get up3
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Documentation is like sex:
When it's good, it's very good.
When it's bad, it's better than nothing...4 -
As expected, I take a single day of PTO and I get a whole bunch of emails about stakeholders needing help and requests for website improvements. I have 14 days of PTO that I have to use in the next two months, so stakeholders gonna get a rude surprise when they see my out of office response almost every other day.1
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Hate it when the beta tester always laughs when he finds a notorious bug, but loves it when I fix it in mere seconds and his laugh slowly fades...1
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When you’re fundraising, it’s AI
When you’re hiring, it’s ML
When you’re implementing, it’s linear regression
When you’re debugging, it’s printf()3 -
What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”
It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.
You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?7 -
Isn't it weird that the name James is not Jame but James? Because I would assume James would be the plural of Jame because what if there are two people with the name James in the room... Would we say
"There are two Jameses/James's/ jamessis"...
Also if it's James's wouldnt that be for nouns etc like James's bag....
Sorry this has been bothering me for two days.
I asked this in office and people thought I had lost the plot so I AM AWARE IM CRAZY.9 -
I went on a coding tear last week, probably because my boss was on vacation. I optimized the bejesus out of a half dozen apps and created five or six new features to downstream apps. But now I need to write them all down, and make retroactive stories for them. I hate admin.5
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I love programming drunk! I can't sit still and always want to do stuff. When I'm drunk / tipsy I come up with ideas and start working on it. Most of the time in the morning, when my mind is clear, I'm not so creative and open minded as I'm drunk. Sometimes my ideas ain't that bad, but I loose interest in developing it any further. So I stop working on it.
This is a while == true loop -
9 pm - let me just quickly setup up a media center/NAS in my RPI, then it's off to bed!
3 am - shit, i have to get up in 3 hours >< -
F++ you! You never here when I need you. You force me to sleep when I want to code. You force me to code when I want beer. I hate you, time!1
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Philosopher: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"
Developer: "When program gives you bugs, make feature"5 -
That moment when every line of your shell script runs perfectly when executed individually. But complete script doesn't.
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How many people shift their seating position when they compile something then stop when the program has errors?3
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I am just so tired these days and find it extremely hard to work at all, let alone on the tasks I'm supposed to work on. I spend a lot of time distracting myself compulsively instead, even off work.
I have a vacation planned soon, but I do need to finish an important project before that (which I have been procrastinating on for the last 2 weeks).
These days I often feel like quitting tech altogether or at least taking an extended break.2 -
I don't like it when guys use emojis when chatting with me. I find it weird.
But when girls do it, I like it. It's hot.🔥9 -
Stakeholder: Users are unable to buy tickets on the website. IT says Azure’s health check is showing an unhealthy status.
[It’s Sunday. Web Engineering is not on call so no one sees this right away.]
Stakeholder: IT restarted the Azure website twice, but users still can’t place orders.
Me: There was never an issue with the Azure site. That health check is inaccurate. There is a rewrite rule that sends the Azure supplied domain to our custom domain. The Azure health check doesn’t like that so it returns an unhealthy status. The problem is the ticketing server that the website has to communicate with. The ticketing server is overwhelmed and can’t handle more requests. IT should have checked the ticketing server’s logs. This has happened before and it’s never been an Azure issue. It’s a ticketing server issue.
Stakeholder and IT: Oops 😅
—-
JFC. Stop trying to make this web engineering’s problem. Stop trying to make it look like engineering dropped the ball. The ticketing server has experienced this issue multiple times. The ticketing server is maintained by a different team. The website’s symptoms are always the same and there are steps you need to take before you make the decision to restart the website, which will cause the website to show a blue screen of death that says 503 service unavailable for a few minutes. And we have a switch to shut off all transactions. Why do you not want to use it when it’s clear the website can’t process transactions???3 -
The one thing more annoying than when something is not working when it should - when something is working when it should not.
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When a paymentportal fails on validating the securitycode of the creditcard when the code is "000"...
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Ahhhh I'm in the mood to make a few complains against the company I work for.
Reason: management is done by children, expensive machines are breaking down due to lack of maintainance, having to deal with problems everyday due to machine problems.
Although that's not illegal, just stupid, there's also bad company policies (like if you get hurt can't call an ambulance, must go to the local private clinic, even if you lose a hand ), problems like pools of oil everywhere, electric boxes open (and we do have to put our hands inside to reset the machines)... Stuff like that.
But fuck it, I'm just a temp gaining minimum wage.8 -
when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
The problem: callback hell. Code would be indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to do some async work. Your code would end with thirty lines of closing curly brackets
Solution: async and await.
The problem, reborn: NoSQL. Code is indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to run a query. Your query ends with thirty lines of closing curly brackets.4 -
After using Devrant for some time.
me: (closes devrant)"lets do something else."
Swipes through the app menu and opens devrant again. 😑 -
How do you deal with managers/co-workers asking you the task status every hour? They keep on asking, is this done? is this done? It pisses me off to no end. Does anybody know how to handle this without being overly snarky?15
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How the hell do I understand want people want???
I listen to them, I pay attention to them (for the most part), but for the most part when someone assigns me something but it is not clearly explained, they expect me know what to do.
I had the most unproductive meeting with this guy I work for because of this... he had a problem, so we worked on ideas for this solution, and I thought I knew exactly what he wanted. We were getting somewhere. I get ready to leave for lunch and it turns out that is not at all what he wanted. We're back to square one.
Is it me, or are people really bad at explaining things?5 -
If you're expecting something revolutionary on a dev fest conference but instead you're given the fricking same template exercise.
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When a client facing consultant asks when your project will be finished by like you should have had it done already when it's complex as hell1
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I’ve realized that it’s past my working hours when I was looking up auto generated file created date time 😂.
P.S I’ve deleted a rant to post this 😂 -
A different error finally some progress!
I know this was posted before but thanks to react native I am now in this situation for the first time in my career -_-10 -
!dev
I need to stop buying things...
I just bought a Keurig and some coffee because it was on sale for Cyber Monday...
And well I've been buying other discretionary things like crazy for the last few months... including lots of cakes and chocolates...
Which prolly adds up to over $500 in 3 months...
Damn should've gotten a new credit card... All that spending would've gotten me $150 back... -
We do have a social life. A very caring one that supports us when are lost, when we are confused, and when we question our life :)16
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Something weird happens when doing something heavy in JetBrains IDE:
When I compile a project or when I just try to load one the music I'm listening to is scratching.
That's weird!8 -
Aarrrgghhhhh!!! I am so fucking pissed off right now. It seems like I am paying for my sins in this life.
1. My cousins/relatives outcasted me after a little fault of mine. I used to think highly of them and respected them all my life and this how they acted on me.
Because of this, the entire family is boycotting my parents and they are pissed at me for getting them disowned.
2. My health is a mess. A toxic infection along with SAD creeping in due to less sun exposure. No matter how much I take care of myself, some shit shows up after periodically.
3. My wealth scene is as confusing as it can get. Not only I am unable to make up my mind on the finance strategy and execute it, but also frantically making silly decisions which is causing stress, confusion, and expenses.
4. That Narcissist bitch who abused me and destroyed my will to live is still stalking me after months and causing harassment. Only if the gender roles were reversed, the guy doing so would be in jail but fuck our legal system that biased towards women. This shit is causing me psychological distress.
5. Been away from work for few days due to sickness. I texted my talkative colleague whether she'd like to sync up and help me get upto the speed with updates. I listed 4 bullet points as agenda from my side. They were crisp short serving as pointers to remember. I even asked her to add her points if any.
Now she comes back saying that the way I send communication is it seems like she reports to me.
I have been praised time and again by countless people on my communication structure and soft skills. Never once I received such feedback in years.
I do accept it gracefully. However, I am unsure whether it is even a relevant feedback, since it's coming from someone who is literally struggling with communication with everyone (that she herself mentioned in the same thread).
Funnily she did say that when our manager departs, they'd make her report to me and I was like nah! that cannot happen.
She kept saying various great things about the company when I was new and slowly as I settled in and discovered the reality, her truth changed.
WTF!
Fucking annoying. I am all in for feedback of any kind but how should I figure which should be considered valid and which as invalid?
Life is nothing but a quicksand, you just keep sinking in irrespective of whether you try to get out or stay still. There is no external help or resources available.
So much mess to deal with.4 -
:/
I've been working for a contractor company for the last half year, when I first started I was on a development team, happy and making progress, since I'm still a student I get perfomance reviews each month and I aced them all during my time at the development team.
Last month I was transfer to a supposed development team which turned out to be a support team, I use to write more code in two days with the other team than in all my time here. On my last performance I got an awful grade and I feel like I'm stuck here.undefined confessions of a dev new team rant when the devs are silent sucks support pichardo for president upvoteme linux random tag1 -
"When the light turns green, you go.
When the light turns red, you stop.
But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?" - Shel Silverstein11 -
The moment when you wake up next morning, turn on your monitors and realize that the heavily needed update you wanted to install overnight didn't even start....1
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Feeling handicapped when swiftkey is not working
Feeling completely useless when drunk and swiftkey is not working -
When someone writes a JUnit test that passes, when the code is completely wrong. I hate group work.1
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#! usr/bin/rant
Our Entreprise CMS at work (obviously):
- inconsistent UI : check (misplaced buttons, some pages are more developed than others)
- slow: check (average 6 seconds of waiting, with cache)
- loading screen as page transitions covering the whole page, making it impossible to click somewhere else if mistaken, adding +3 seconds to loading : check
- time-based session, inlined in HTML and wildly disconnects you, making you lose all changes : check
- sometimes objects are inaccessible and can't do anything about it : check
- "delete" button next to "edit", delete is bigger and I have already clicked the delete button by accident : check
- can't have local development environment, need to work with integrated editor which has no helping features: check
- first TTFB: adds +2-6 seconds to loading time
TL;DR : a pleasant, developer-friendly, frustration- and rantless CMS to work with, reliable and fast. -
Turns out there was a 50-car pileup on a highway near LITERALLY FUCKING NOTHING TOWN, USA. Worst until today was 5.
Amazing what an inch of ice'll do.5 -
!rant
So I got my first rails jobs today!! After learning ruby for a little more than a year on my own I spent the entire summer slaving away helping my Sr dev friend gaining really awesome really world experience and great practices. Now I'm officially a software developer in title haha so excited!1 -
Saw the following SQL in an SP at work:
Type_ID = CASE Product.Type_ID
WHEN 1 THEN 1
WHEN 2 THEN 1
WHEN 3 THEN 2
WHEN 4 THEN 3
END
Seems a little bit redundant to me :-)...1 -
!rant
Coordinate with hosting to create a backup and a snapshot for a week prior to crazy intrusive data cleanup we will be doing this weekend.
Saturday comes, here I sit waiting for confirmation of the backup for two hours now.... Dicks. -
People who freak out and think they have been hacked when you send a message to them on the prod server using the wall command should not be allowed SSH access.
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Ever happened to you that you sat for a project of yours and get into it so much that by the time you get exhausted it's already night.4
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Time to scare the shyat out of some muggles by VIMing some LaTeX. Make'em think I'm hacking the train. Mwahahaha
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the coolest bug happend to when developing games, when i get some weird artifact with the characters
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Wanted to delete cache for a project. By mistake I deleted cache and vital settings.
The good news is that I make weekly backups, the bad news is that my latest backup is 4500 miles away from here 😓 -
When the previous dev's function returns null instead of an empty list when no results were found. Why?!
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YouTube: My ultimate ultimate working from the toilet productivity setup as a software wanker
= cue useless expensive gadgets and seizure inducing lights -
Short term meeting scheduled via wire desktop app. Isn't it great when everything works when you need it?2
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The concept and execution of inter-cluster SSL along with keystores, truststores, signing, and similar just clicked in my head today. I feel the burden of undiagnosable https errors just melt off my shoulders. Any other environment tips I should know for kubernetes?
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I can't do my job without internet. Guess which construction fuckers couldn't keep their shovels in the right holes and knocked out our power and connection to the interwebs. That's right. Those numbskulls right outside my building. The same ones who've been incompetent enough to have this project going on all. summer. long.
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Successfully moved out of my current team and got assigned in Business Analyst track of my organization. Now that I’ve joined the dark side, should I stop using DevRant? Or is it a fairly technical role as well?6
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It's more annoying for me when my code works and I don't know why (when actually it has not work) than when my code doesn't work and I don't know why.2
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Call me when its done => Callback
Call me when it is done => Hooks
Call me when it is done => Events
Anything left ...4 -
!rant
Odd question, but it's something I should probably know. How early should I be looking/applying for summer internships in development? I'm still in high school, and need something useful to do next summer.3 -
When shall ye use a framework or when ye shall code all it self?
That's a question I shall ask all ty devRanters for ye who has the knowledge of programming would be kind to share to all others.3 -
When coworkers/management can´t keep the password management up to date. EVEN WHEN REPEATEDLY BEING TOLD SO.
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When i create first custom control in android and also when i saw output of machine learning algorithm1
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'Where to code' or 'when to code'?
Which one is more important than the other to you?
(Or are they equally important?)7 -
I have an interview with big company in 2 hours. Position? Junior Java Developer.
They said they wanted to have 30min talk to check my profile. I don't know what is that supposed to mean :s
I have no idea how to prepare for the interview. Might as well go unprepared. My strategy is to just be chilled. Should be okay right?4 -
So it's been happening for a while now. My dual boot system just appears to have a feature: it auto boots into Ubuntu on restart.
And, I don't why but since 17.10 artful update whenever I press either up or down arrow keys while boot it shows me the log of whole procedure which is kinda nuts; I mean why would they wanna do that, this isn't '90s.
Do reply if I'm not alone.3 -
A demon process is running inside me,
whenever I hear your name it's triggers an interrupt to brain,
Causing my brain to stop working and perform a context switching to think about you...
My memories are encrypted by your memories as like wanna cry...
And it demands to always think about you as a ransom...
I tried songs as a patch, But
I found that you memory encryption can't be fixed with any patches...
My heart is not strong as Linux ,
It's so week like Microsoft...
So please don't inject more bugs as my system can't sustain that...
I hope you will also get some disturbance like segmentation fault as you are trying to access my memories.. -
Spent the last few days trying to solve a weird issue with our CI/CD pipeline for a project. Yesterday i finally gave up and told my coworker that i need a fresh set of eyes to look at this.
I leave for lunch, an hour later I'm back and brought fire and fury to the mix.. Then, 2 hours later i raised my hands and my mouth uttered the glorious words of victory: Fuck yeah, it works.
Mood was still shit though... 1 bug down, 99 life problems remain 😢 -
So when i was playing saxophone, I realized that music and coding are just the same. When you get a new score to play you need to start over by learning how to play it. When you code and start a new project you need to start from zero. When you play the score over and over you learn from your mistakes. When you code you debug your faults when there is something wrong in your code. At the exam you need to make no faults when you play music. When you’re at the deadline. There shouldn't be no faults in your code
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Web Development on Notepad is like a person buying gift for you, but keeps forgetting to give it to you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2
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Don't you hate when you wanna install arch on your 6 year old laptop but it turns out it's uefi when you have already made partitions that is ext4 when you should have made it fat and then when you remove the partitions and do everything all over again you get some bullshit error when trying to use arch-chroot!
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When there's an error in the url you get the code 404
When there's a server error you get 500
When there's an error in input you get 400
And so on ...
The IANA should add a code for when every error happens and call it 20204 -
Honest question. When do you consider yourself a "Big data engineer"?
Today I managed to create a system that collects historical metrics from monitoring tools every 5 minutes and do all sorts of crazy transformations to make them ingestible by grafana Mimir in OTLP protocol. Doing 600gb a dat, millions of active time series, .... And I still feel it's, "small"
Thoughts?5 -
Le me.
Tasked with eval’ing SPA frameworks.
Gets down to business with Vue.
Fuck this shit.
It’s lovely when it works, but heaven help you if *anything* is slightly off.
What the fuck is Webpack?! Fucking ugly-ass, hydra-looking fuckery is what it is.
Cypress? Hah! Does it want to work? No it fucking does not.
Does anything tell me what’s wrong? Nope.
I love OSS, but so much of it a complete clusterfuck of duct tape and prayers.4 -
That moment when you think you are earning above average salary and levels.fyi punctures that ego by showing that you are well below the median.
*sigh
But hey at least I'm not dependent on esops. That's good, right? Right?2 -
If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there? European
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When the users say UAT went brilliant yet mysteriously all goes BOOM when feature goes live. #aDayInTheLifeOfAdev
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You think you know when you learn, are more sure when you can write, even more when you can teach, but certain when you can program.
-Alan Perlis -
When driving changes knowing when to shift from tech to people and vice versa. Beyond that, knowing when to shift between people and when to shift between tech.
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Gals in devRant, are there some ways woman expresses her friendliness towards man when she is not necessarily attracted to him? When is she attracted and when she is not?4
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It’s PostgreSQL!!!! not PostGreSQL, not postgressql, not postgre not postgre_sql!!!
Tell me if that has happened to you!!11 -
Am I the only one having trouble with kde archives today? Either it does not work at all, or it is slow af.
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When you're an apprentice web developer and your co-workers face palm when you ask the dumb questions1
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Today I ended up sleeping after I had dinner, around 9 pm. Now I am still tired at 2 am, but fully awake. Hate when that happens orz