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dad: how come u always on ur computer typing colorful letters and u get paid.
me: it is called coding dad.
dad:
10 -
When u use i3 and vim on arch linux so u wont have to touch the mouse and then remember that you're a web dev.
23 -
when u try to find the error but the screen is too small so u have to scroll a lot more to see other lines
20 -
That moment when the new guy tells u "slow down, idk anything bout programming" and u were just asking him to type ifconfig to find out his ip.
Seriously?5 -
Friend: Can u get me Linux OS on this pendrive?
Me: sure, Ubuntu would do?
Friend: Don't u have Linux?
Me: *facepalm*13 -
How do I know my office is pretty chill?
My lead dev just sent me a text with:
"U suck penis"
I said "wow, uncalled for"
And then he said:
"U r uncalled for"
Well alrighty then18 -
When i ask for a raise -
Boss : Are u joking ? I can see u hardly working.
When I ask for a leave -
Boss : Are u joking ? Who will do your work ?4 -
When u did too much geocoding and map stuff. People ask me where u live, i be like I live at lat 43.8 lng -79.3. Find me homie, let's chill2
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There has got to be a vetting option for this shit. The number of green dots asking for easily googleable shit is getting far too annoying and y'all dumbasses answering them in an effort to get upvoted is fucking pathetic.
Google shit, most basic and long term producing ability of anyone in I.T
We are not here to give you pointers, solve homework or teach you shit.
This platform is for pro devs bitching about their workplace.
Tired of mfkers that learn how to hello world and get here
Fuck off.17 -
Most Irritating moment
When u gonna edit any webpage and want to open it using Notepad and
By mistakenly u presses
"Open with Microsoft Visual studio or Android Studio"
😫5 -
The best way to learn something is to teach someone...
If you learn a framework or a language or a tool u make sure u teach it to someone it helps u understand it better and someone else is also smarter6 -
ahh... i love reading posts like these.... dumb tech noobs...
Oh u dont like the UI in Android? well just fucking change the launcher...
But ur going to switch cuz they purposefully crippled ur old iphone even though u bought a new one anyway (because u actually really just wanted it)?
7 -
that moment when u run the code and it works, and then u run the very same code again and it fails.4
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Most of the people sending me work offers have something to do with wordpress.
Man iongiveafuck anymore. Some dude offers me $500 for something that would take me 5 hours to make again and I am gonna swallow my pride and code that shit in wordpress.
Money > your fucking disdain for frameworks/cms/lang/suckingdick/whatever.
Which also means thas that I have to get crzcking with coding in wordpress again since I don't remember much.8 -
Have u built your own robo who makes coffee for u while you are coding?
0- yes! // u r cooooool!!!
1- no. // me 2 😸☕
[If you answered yes, then comment how did you ]7 -
If you type "12oatmeal" in one of my school assignment console games, it plays a beep.
V e r y u s e f u l ™5 -
Dear Android studio,
When u require an update please tell me u require an update.Do not pretend u can't open jdk folder or shit like that ...you could find jdk yesterday u can now
Sincerely
Me
(Frustrated insomniac)1 -
Does any1 had experienced this........ Once u have fixed ur mum's Computer and all its future problems is coz of u 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐13
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You know u have no life when you get a call, you're all excited about who's it going to be...
"oooh an unknown number!"
*picks up*
"who's this?"
... *automated voice* "This is apple calling you for your apple verification code... your code is..."
And u realize u have ur computer on which u need to enter your code because u tried to login 2 minutes ago...2 -
devRant is nice.
If you move rant feed to "Recent" and saw a bunch of rant u already read but you keep scrolling down hoping to see new rant but u fail cause rant policy keep people from posting new rant for 2 hour and not many new rant has been post.
This is a nice feature. It make u self aware that "crap, maybe too much time on devRant". Even if you addict to devRant but by this policy -> It force you to really close its app and checking it on another free time. (more healthy than another social media I guess 😂)2 -
wow... no kidding.... so C++ is like a language without a compiler holding ur hands and catching u when u screw up...
8 -
Users.applyAll(u -> u.watchOut(true), u -> u.setCry(false), u -> u.setPout(false));
Users.each(u -> u.tell(He.getName() + " is coming to " + TownRegistry.getCommonName()));
List<Object> list = He.composeList();
He.validate(() -> list);
He.validate(() -> list);
List<Object> naughty = He.filter(He.UserType.NAUGHTY, () -> list);
List<Object> nice = He.filter(He.UserType.NICE, () -> list);
He.with(naughty, nice).arrive(TownRegistry.next());
Users.each(u -> u.setStateObserver(User.State.SLEEPING, He.asObserver()));
Users.each(u -> u.setStateObserver(User.State.AWAKE, He.asObserver()));
He.subscriptions().monitorEvents(s -> s.type == He.EventType.BAD);
He.subscriptions().monitorEvents(s -> s.type == He.EventType.GOOD);
He.subscriptions().each(s -> He.advisor(He.EventType.GOOD).advice(s));5 -
"Google Home requires access to your location to find nearby devices"
Get fucked, Google.
Get. Fucked.14 -
I can agree to shit when presented with hardcore data, data that proves me otherwise. But when people go by opinions and then hold is a truth because of "many feel the same way" I cannot help but to giggle a bit.
Most issues I have found with programming stacks come from opinions rather than hard presented data, if a bunch of people dislike a tool, but it delivers, I get to differ two things: (1) it is bad but it performs as needed, but it is bad because of design problems etc, (2) some dude made a post concerning why he things is bad and sheep mentality follows.
If technologies were without merit, then we would have all discarded C++ a long time ago cuz Linus disliked it, a powerful programmer indeed, but a FOCUSED one, meaning, one that deals with 1 domain (kernel development)
Do I care about what Linus things about web development? No, lol, he is a better kernel developer than I am, but I highly, grossly doubt that he knows enough about web development to give me something to think about.
all languages have faults, regardless of what point of view we look at them, but completely disregarding a tech stack because of shit that you saw some fucktard wrote about, benefits and otherwise, just seems....well...sheepish, there might very well be a tech stack out there that covers everything, to me it is a mixture of things, and I use them as I please and feel like, but this is because after years of learning I have read about quirks and pitfalls and how to avoid them. I would suggest you all do the same, by you all I mean those of high opinions that can't be deflected.
This field is far too wide and concentrated to go head and think about absolutes when even the fundamental mathematical theory concerning computer science is not absolute whatsoever, it is akin to magic, shit works, but it might not, the incantation might be right, but circuits and electricity have a way of telling us to go fuck ourselves, so do architectures, specifically ones based on physics.3 -
That challenge u face in the morning when u hv to decide between opening facebook or devrant...
P.S devrant wins2 -
When u debug for like 1 hour, find out the bug u produced is dumb af and ask yourself 'Do i have brainlags'2
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Epic is;
That feeling when u want to compile ur 'C' on Linux distributions for the first time while u are used to windows , and u are sick trying to find out the IDE or turboC++ like thingy and suddenly u find out U CAN COMPILE DIRECTLY FROM THE TERMINAL!!!
{Collage days ;-P }5 -
When u see Bullshit u r supposed to call it Bullshit not organically digested grass.
Thank you for your time7 -
when u feel that u wrote some godlike code. 2 months later client wants to add new features. then u realize ur code needs major refactoring. "what was i thinking, far from godlike"
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Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head4 -
Docker y u no mounting volumes on Windows anymore...?
World y u use Windows at all?
Note to self, y u no problem-solving instead of devrant posting?8 -
Unity just mailed me:
H E Y U W A N T S U M U N I T E V I D E O S ?
I should really unsubscribe from the mailing list.6 -
When u about to start working on a complicated feature. And u know the next hours maybe days ganna hell.
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*laughing maniacally*
Okidoky you lil fucker where you've been hiding...
*streaming tcpdump via SSH to other box, feeding tshark with input filters*
Finally finding a request with an ominous dissector warning about headers...
Not finding anything with silversearcher / ag in the project...
*getting even more pissed causr I've been looking for lil fucker since 2 days*
*generating possible splits of the header name, piping to silversearcher*
*I/O looks like clusterfuck*
Common, it are just dozen gigabytes of text, don't choke just because you have to suck on all the sucking projects this company owns... Don't drown now, lil bukkake princess.
*half an hour later*
Oh... Interesting. Bukkake princess survived and even spilled the tea.
Someone was trying to be overly "eager" to avoid magic numbers...
They concatenated a header name out of several const vars which stem from a static class with like... 300? 400? vars of which I can make no fucking sense at all.
Class literally looks like the most braindamaged thing one could imagine.
And yes... Coming back to the network error I'm debugging since 2 days as it is occuring at erratic intervals and noone knew of course why...
One of the devs changed the const value of one of the variables to have UTF 8 characters. For "cleaner meaning".
Sometimes I just want to electrocute people ...
The reason this didn't pop up all the time was because the test system triggered one call with the header - whenever said dev pushed changes...
And yeah. Test failures can be ignored.
Why bother? Just continue meddling in shit.
I'm glad for the dev that I'm in home office... :@
TLDR: Dev changed const value without thinking, ignoring test failures and I had the fun of debunking for 2 days a mysterious HAProxy failure due to HTTP header validation... -
when you're tryna create a function in C and u start typing "funct"... and then u realise it's "C" so u backspace your code of shame.
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u is the coordinate of the point u in the u referential. PLEASE THERE ARE 26 LETTER. How about you use differen letter for different thing fuckin idiot
3 -
hi sirs im new on this public forum with thousands of witnesses so could u learn me how to haxor bank acounts? i heard u can make alot of money with it thx u
6 -
When the client reports u a bug in the app, then u noticed that the error comes from the info provided by the backend ..
**** HAPPY KUS IS NOT MY PROBLEM****
Then u realized that you are the backend developer too..1 -
Sophomore here. For a long time this has been bugging me. I'm very skeptical about what I'm learning and what I plan to learn. Just doubting myself and feeling like a loser. So today i wanna ask, what was the road you took to be where you are now? I wanna know details
Did u exceed ur expectations and do u think if u knew what u know now, u cud've done a lot better and taken a diff route?
I'm asking this cuz i wanna set a baseline of skills to attain by the time i graduate. Been researching and the amount of things u can learn is very intimidating to me11 -
What u guys think which technology.... Literally have biggest impact in the world??
I think mobile phones.
What u guys think?20 -
The time when u write a long comment for a rant and u delete them thinking it's stupid and read other rants and repeat7
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Why does ppl think that Saturday Sunday means u need to go out and only then u can enjoy ur life...11
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Apple users, would you ever ditch their products? And assuming u can drive, would u buy their car?15
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So all u great web developers who use laravel. Do u use theme/template and build web pages / admin panels or do u do smth else...what about front end websites4
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when u code on Android Studio, u wish all your error will be solve by enter alt+enter.. its a wonderful world1
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I don't know how to make this happen:
Me:
"And this is what the customer... wants?"
Someone:
"Yes."
Me:
"Oh ... could you devote a few more brain cycles to this discussion and tell me that again?"
Someone:
"Sure .... oh ... yeah this is horrible... I'll go find out what they really want"1 -
Every now and then you get that error that makes you questions your life choices and how u end up here ... Then u solve it .1
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Its soo annoying when u have Anaconda installed with all the shit packages and when u IDLE run the python and import packages it gives errors and when u try to pip install them it says request all ready satisfied in anaconda!!!!😭
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When u don't feel taking leave rather coming to office---u r on top of ur work
When u take a leave on a working day---work is on top of u1 -
Hello all (App devs) I have finalized all APIs and here is the postman collection for you. I have been working on the chat page so excuse me for my delay but I finished all the system all that is remaining is the chat. I will be working on it tonight.
Please let me know if there is anything wrong.
Dev 1: thank you will see then asap.
Dev 2: why do u want to make me lost we said u deliver the chat first and then we move forward with the app.
Me: well I had some difficulties with the chat so I finalized all else and u can fix those while I fix the chat
Dev 2: no this is not what we agreed on. This is propostrous. I will not do anything anymore. I need the chat to finale x y and z.
Me: dude the chat has nothing to do with x y and z u can finalize those and then fix the chat!
Dev 2: no I don't understand this is not right.
Me: dude I built the backend I know what u need for x y z. Anyway why all the blame and the destructive approach?
Dev 2 don't think we r kids we r not kids .. (bullshit talk)...
This is the scenario that happens Everytime a pussy of a Dev is late and is ignorant of their job and all about blame it on the weakest point.
Therefore guess what's drafted ?!
MY RESIGNATION PAPER!1 -
@all Next year I wanted to start a project, in which a neural network lerns programming out of a plaintext documentation... Eg: when u click on the button, a messagebox says helloworld gets translated into...
Connect (somestuf)
Fucntion
Showmessage (blablabl)
... For this I would need many people who actually help me out by giving thu neural network examples... Who would be interested in helping that project?? Itwould mean, that u first write that docs and then get the compiled file xD7 -
when u see a bootstrap template use !important on multiple classes and id's u know someone kinda fucked up😅🙄5
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How many times did u face a bug, debug it, the debugging / printing vars shows nothing should be wrong, so when u stop u just find the bug is...gone?2
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How do u get out of this constant loop of mental anguish u get stuck in? What do u do when it's just too much for u and ure just too much for everyone else?12
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Hey devs What's up ?
Let me ask u a thing that could have happened in ur life ....
U ppl might have suffered from eye strain and are not able to see PC screen further .
What u ppl do in this case ????
Plzz help .17 -
when a coworker doesnt acknowledge what u said , and proceeds to tell you what u just said right back 5 minutes later.3
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!dev
How would u react(.js) if I come to u @ say some public event, tap u on the shoulder and start whispering in ur ear :
- Hi, I'm the psychopath next door. Merciless, highly intelligent, ultra unpredictable and funny as Hell... ooh and btw u so happen to be my next target...
1. run *dramatic music*
2. slap/kick/elbow... choose ur weapon... FIGHT
3. drop dead and gorgeous
4. ...10 -
Absolutely hate it when managers give an estimate for an hour tasks to be completed in 7 days.. why can't they just accept they are shit and ask for the effort estimation from the concerned dev.. all the AGILity goes in an awry..2
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(Me after battling with a lagging computer for half an hour)
Im just gonna shut u down.. I dont love u anymore U piece of shit!
~Restarts~ -
Shit is when u write code and dnt recall why u wrote certain lines a few hours later n when u remove them, u get in the shitter3
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!Rant
Hey guys, who's using those new Intel U series processors? What are your thoughts on them? What's kind of OS you use and work you do with them? Are they reliable when using docker or VMS?
I'm asking cuz most reviews show that they are really bad compared to even older processors. I know that they are only dual core and use less power, but are they reliable for dev jobs?1 -
This moment, you know ur movement mechanic in Unity works just as u want it to be. But its so damn hacky, u are afraid of refactoring, because u know.. u would break it...1
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Anyone knows if u can make good money by reverse Engineering apks and looking for security holes? Anyone experienced in doing that and how much could u charge1
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Suppose u got a project idea. But for this project u have to use a totally different language, say Go as it's suits the use case. But till now u had experience in other languages like Java, node etc.
How do you switch to different language in minimum time? What points u keep in mind to get the language? U r well aware of that u may or may not use this language for another project in future. But for this project, it's best case scenario.3 -
I can’t use paper clips anymore, everywhere I look I see his face.
C is for cool
L is for lots of useful advice
I is for I love u Clippy
P is for passion u passionate boi
P is for more passion u rock my world
Y is for y did the bad windows men take u away3 -
If u have a fix goal. Then u get motivation automatically.......... So be focused and be choose a goal.... I
These days python/R rocks u shuld think about it...... -
There are times when u r least busy.
And then there are times when u put sticky notes on your home screen. -
Why would you use 4 spaces instead of 2 in js ?
Why would u want to use semicolons in js ?
Why would u use html instead of pug ?
Just why ?7
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