Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Father bought a PC in 1997. Back then very few had it. I learned doing things like accessing the internet and sending emails, among others. I remember having added age on websites to be allowed to sign up at times :P My sisters used to play games on it sometimes. The first few ones we had were Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, Tomb Raider Chronicles, American McGee's Alice(Which caused us to upgrade the PC xD)... And some others.
I have a memory of this pseudo-3D-looking game where you move in a maze and try answering questions. I want to remember its name, but I cannot :(
We literally have video evidence of me liking the computer as a child, yet my parents either say I'm addicted or deny I've ever liked it before. Not only that, but continuously limiting my time with the PC hasn't been a literal obstacle in my way of trying to do things in their opinion. Funny how my parents think the last few years I've been my worst when they've hurt me in those years so much that our relationship is guaranteed not working out. There were doubts in my head before, but now it's cemented and there is no way of going back. Father, for example, tells me it's too late to do anything with a PC now(As well as how I've been unable to use the PC. He looks at these pro players' footage in some TV show and he's like, „You've been unable to use your hobbies“, as if they have never ever screamed at me for perceived gaming and not actually cared to check), and I need to look for a „real“ job.
Sorry. I went to bed at 2:00 in the morning. Feel like a zombie because of ongoing weirdly insufficient sleep, even though I sleep kinda more than normal. Even when I took Melatonine for that it didn't help at all.
Childhood was where beating began. I was about 6/7. Right when I entered school. The first school that I attended was a private one and supposedly for „Wunderkinds“, while in reality I haven't seen a SINGLE teacher or psychologist approve of it, their argument being that children were basically drowned in work that wasn't age-appropriate(I don't mean anything bad. Just that teaching about Galaxies and all in first grade isn't the brightest idea). There was always a mountain of homework to do and as opposed to some other countries, we had to do it on a day to day basis. We didn't have a week-long deadline. I was predictably not keeping up with it as I could have, had it been a normal amount, so my parents decided I didn't want to study and began their methods of getting me to „study“. I have yet to see a person able to keep up with that school's tempo, no matter the age.
This place was also where I got bullied. I felt I had nowhere to be: At home, the parents' situation, at school, the bully. I never really went outside to play with other children, so I missed that part of childhood.
After the second year of school I was transferred to an advanced German school, called like that because they taught German and not English there. I also got to learn a bit of Russian before they removed it from school. In that period I used to attend ballet. But for less than a year. And piano, which I remember having attended for quite a long while, some years, if my memory isn't fried. I quit it because of it having been forced on me. Last piece I ever played fully was Beethoven's Marmotte.
In this school I was once again the outcast of the class. I had some people to interact with. All of those interactions lasted a few years at most. Then, because of a part of my class choosing me as a laughing-stock N2 and another girl as the N1, I found my best friend, who I still have today. She's the only friend I have nearby.
Most of the time I hated myself. Even today I struggle with that sometimes.
After that came university. This us where I got something like a friend circle at last. But it still didn't last. I got in a relationship with one of the guys, but I was just attracted. There was another I couldn't dare getting close to. Turns out he also had something for me. Then he disappeared from our lives and a year after, I still cannot forget the person. If I want to, I have to deprive myself of my own personality. Not a thing I'm willing to give up. Then I broke up with the guy I was in a relationship with and completely disappeared from the friendship circle. To be honest, I had reasons to. They refused to even try to look for the guy and they called him a friend for years. Sometimes parents hitting me can occur even today, but if I REALLY piss them off.
Now I'm here and oh, my God, I'm officially am aunt now! My sister gave birth to a daughter this morning... She's in Berlin with mother and both she and the child are doing great. I just hope she manages to be a good mother.20 -
This is exactly what happens when your client ask for something impossible you you still have to find a hack
13 -
!rant
I had to stop developing hybrid android applications with Ionic and start developing native.. I was given 1 week to present an app or they would hire an external developer.. I knew nothing about Java or Android development and in 4 days I already have a working, hardware scanner integrated, API calling, camera picture taking,.. Application! My brain hurts and I'm feeling like a zombie, but hey.. I'm proud of myself! :D15 -
⏺ Procrastinating - SoundCloud on shuffle mode.
⏺Concentration lvl - NOOB or repeated work - Something that a mindless zombie could do. I play OneRepublic, Maroon 5, Coldplay, GreenDay, etc.
⏺ Concentration lvl - Serious - AudioMachine, Two Steps from Hell, etc
⏺ Concentration lvl God mode - I require absolute zero silence. You make as much a *sigh* anywhere within 4m radius of me, or I realise of your existence, you would wish you weren't born.4 -
3 am and still awake.
Me: this is awesome, let's do that thing
Inside Me: I am screwed up, tomorrow I will be a zombie5 -
A Developer is desperate: his java application servers are unresponsive, thousand of dead zombie threads are sucking all cpus, memory is leaking everywhere, garbage collector has gone crazy, the cluster sessions are fucked....
The Developer goes to the closest bridge, ties a stone to his neck and gets ready to jump.
Suddenly a bearded old man with a fiery look runs toward him, yelling:
- stop stop!!!! Your application is not scaling and misconfigured, your servers are melting, cpu usage is not sustainable anymore, but don't despair
The Developer, puzzled, looks at him:
-I've never seen you...how do you know...
- Hey, man, I'm the Devil. I know everything. All your problems are solved. I'll give you magic functions. They are called Lambda.
You'll never have to worry about your servers, scalability, security, configuration and shit.
The Developer seems astonished but relieved:
- Ok, sounds great! let's try it - suddenly suspicion creeps in - hmmmm but you are the Devil....so...you want something back, don't you?
(the Devil nods lightly with a diabolic smile)
- ...and...you want my soul, I guess...
- your soul??? come on!!! - the Devil burst in a laugh - we are in 2019. I don't care about your soul. I want your ass.
- What!???!!!?
- yes, I want to fuck your ass
The Developer, evaluates quickly the situation.
Few moments of pain or slight discomfort (?) in exchange for magic lambda. It could be worth. He accepts.
After a while of rough anal fucking, the devil asks
- Hey, how old are you anyway?
- 45, why?
- Oh jeeez...45!!!??? and you still believe in the devil?5 -
Phone rings
-Hello! Do you have an a website?
- yes I have. Who's this
- is it running
- yes
- hold if otherwise it will might run away
- - hangs up - -
Phone rings again
- hello do you have a website
- no I don't 😠
- didn't I told you to hold it -
What are your plans on New year??
"Defect fixing"
What are your plans on Valentine's day???
"Defect fixing"
What are your plans on zombie apocalypse??
"Defect fixing"😖😖😖1 -
So I resigned. After a long and torturing 1 year at my current company, I decided to leave. I wish I would made that decision in first four months.
The company is full of problems. I will explain them as much as I can in following rants. But I can name all of the stupid and dumb things I have seen here people do. If i was writer, I would wrote a book - titled as "which companies not to join EVER". But I am not a writer.
Overall the company was being ran by bunch of idiots. They did not have any experience with product development. But they like to micro manage everything.
I have seen death of agile and then it came back as a evil zombie named "micromanagment".
I am so glad, I am going to be free of all these things in few days. I can't wait to show them middle finger.2 -
Thank fuck I was so early at work today.
As I did walk past the server room I heard something really loud behind the door. I was still in zombie mode (It was way too early, usually I´m here 2 hours later...), so just stood there looking at the door for a while.
Needed about 3 to 4 slow thoughts to decide what the fuck is happening.
My last thought was just: Man why is it so loud here. That´s the server room. Oh fuck!
The second I opened the door this rancid burning hot air straight out of satans anus almost melted my face off.
The servers were trying to maintain their cooling by almost puking out their guts with the those poor little fans they have.
Turns out one of the air conditioners failed and the backup didn´t start. So I started it manually.
Where the fuck is the admin? That´s not my fucking job!
What the fuck am I doing here so early?9 -
Root has standup.
Root: I had no ticket yesterday morning, so I followed up on <TicketA> with <PersonA> and updated it in Jira and linked its related tickets; talked with <PersonB> about <TicketB>, and reviewed code review comments on <TicketC>, and thought about those while looking into the CI spec failure on <TicketD>. I collapsed for 3 hours before fixing it. Halfway through the collapse, I talked with <PersonC> on <TicketC> CR comments and the spec issue in <TicketD>, then went to lay down again. Afterward, I solved the spec issue in <TicketD>, and started on the new ticket <TicketE> before calling it a day. Plans today are to <…>.
Manager, in private: I need you to proactively let me know if you’re taking long breaks and aren’t working as this impacts business flow.
—————
Yeah.
My update was four times longer than the others’ despite her not giving me a ticket to work on. I responded to slack while I was collapsed on the floor and discussed tickets. And, after I recovered, I went back to work to finish my 8h shift. But this isn’t good enough? And I need to let her know in advance when I’m going to collapse and be a bloody mental zombie for hours? It would be amazing if I knew. I barely have a few minutes notice, and that’s only if I’m really paying attention and looking for signs.
And (conjecture) she probably still thinks I’m not performing well enough. “Affecting our business flow” probably means she’s angry I didn’t talk to other people about low-priority <TicketE> yesterday while I was laying on the damned floor.
Goddamn I hate her.11 -
Ok, it’s been a loooong fucking day.
28 hours later from starting work yesterday, preparing for a giant deployment over multiple systems, Doing deployments overnight... on a Friday night of all days and finally, finally seeing everything working is just a beautiful thing.
Good night devRant!1 -
-When they ask for your current/previous salary in a job interview, tell them that you don't find that relevant or that you don't want to tell. If they insist on you telling your salary, GTFO
- When they are overenthusiasticly telling about all the latest technologies they're using without staying one word about legacy projects, GTFO. It's a trap.
- If you walk trough the developer room(s) and everybody is extremely focused and just programming like a zombie, GTFO.
- If they cannot tell you one single downside of the company, it's probably too good to be true.
That's about everything I can think of at the moment
4 -
Had 4-5 hours of sleep last night because I had to wake up early this morning for an internal demo of the feature I worked on. It was scheduled early morning because the boss was busy.
I come to the office looking like a zombie, practically sleep walking my way to the office, and guess what... The app server is down! Yay.
I had to reschedule it to right in the middle of lunch time because hey... The boss is busy. Now everyone in the team hates me for ruining their lunch.
Now I'm sitting here, staring at my code, remembering the sweet luxury of sleep.2 -
Hi
You know.. developers would be pretty useless in a zombie apocalypse...
(or in a world without computers/electricity in general)19 -
Why are people talking to me even if they can see that i got my headphones on and i am staring at my monitor like a zombie?! Maybe i should hang two of these "do not disturb" things from hotelrooms on my ears.7
-
We are finally out !! Our First Game ever it's ready :D We are on the play store at the following link
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
i'm the graphic (23yo, IT student) and my friend is the dev (27yo, IT graduated). He worked at this project for 2 years, i have helped him for the last year.
We finished the debugging and fixing like 2 days ago :) we are so proud of our first little son. Yup it's a marijuana zombie shooter game 😁
Let us know what do you think about it 😀
oh yes we did it with no budget and without any help 😅 we learned how to do it doing it 😉 (even unity, it took a year to my dev to learn how to use it) but finally we here to present Bongville to you guys :)
right now is completely AD free ;)
(for iOS & Windows phone will be released as soon as possible)
20 -
It was not me doing the screaming but one of my colleagues. He is a super programmer and joined our team early this year as my partner on frontend development.
We're a React/React Native dev house and he has always been uncomfortable with how loose it goes here because of dynamic typing. He has been advocating typescript and Angular since he started and I even allowed him to use typescript on one of the projects.
A month back I started to make jokes about how dead angular was (trigger alert) and he almost lost it. We are good friends so he as been taking it in good spirits.
Last week our boss allowed him a chance to propose a Tech stack for a new project. Naturally he started comparing Angular vs React. I chime in to trigger him again with "why would we work with a bloated zombie framework", he picked up his chair and almost threw it at me while screaming " React is just hacky ". I was laughing so hard and in the end we both did some research. We are proposing Jquery to our boss... (Evil laugh)1 -
I started drinking coffee when I started as a junior dev.
I loved its boost, but after a while being on coffee was exactly how I felt before as normal. I incrementally upped the dosage, while my resistance creeped up too. I reached a moment when I drank a liter daily, so I witched to yerba maté instead, which resulted in more potent brews. Then I got used to its strength too plus it tasted like horseshit. I switched to caffeine tablets, takingg more and more. Soon after I reached a level which was described medically as the top one should be allowed to take.
I no longer felt any boost. In between caffeinated moments of normalty, I felt like a brain-dead zombie. When I was caffeinated, I was jittery, my shoulder and eyebrow was glitching, my stomach was flexing like before taking a huge exam.
After some miserable time like that, I quit caffeine entirely. I was fatigued, dull and my mind was hazy for te next 1-2 weeks.
I then finally, became gradually normal again.
I drink tea and coffee only socially, perhaps a few times in a month, and never after too much later than noon.
Now I can't wear my "Programmer. Converts coffee into code" shirt anymore. Apart from that, I'm much better off :)
What's your coffee story?14 -
Don't talk to me I'm a programmer!
First, I'll kill you
make you leave all your children
Then I'll chop off your HEAD
now you're a zombie
I'll thread all your limbs back together
you can never REST
because I'm a master of all slaves
this is a test
And if I'm finally done with you
I'll leave you for garbage collection
Hello World!
Don't talk to me2 -
If you like purely electronic music, try drum'n'bass, more specifically neuro(-funk). Believe it or not, it really boosts productivity.
I can recommend:
For getting used to it: Noisia, Teddy Killerz, Neonlight, Zombie Cats
When you are used to it: Current Value, Pythius, Hydra, Jade, Machine Code
When you need the next level:
Billain
Generally good labels: Eatbrain, Blackout Music, Terminal, Bad Taste Recordings, Invisible Recordings7 -
I always giggle when I search something like "how to kill zombies" in stackoverflow :v
hope not a repost, sorry for the light
1 -
Realized I hadn’t subjected you guys to cat photos.
The brown cat is Robert Lazarus (the rescue named him Bob) and the white and brown cat is Dylan Thomas (rescue named him Dylan).
Bobcat died as a kitten (thus his middle name) and was brought back to life, but was blind for a bit as a result. According to legend, Tomcat acted as his seeing eye cat when he wasn’t able to see on his own. Bobcat’s vision’s better now (though he still might have some issues as he’s a little iffy on balance sometimes), but the rescue didn’t want to separate the two of them since they were a bonded pair.
Loads of people wanted Tomcat but didn’t want to take a chance on a zombie cat. Which I’m constantly thankful for because they’re awesome. Even if they steal my keyboard and try to eat my notes and try (and succeed) to jump on me while I’m trying to cook because they want to play with the feather toy that’s been hidden (not so well!) on top of the fridge and know it’s their best shot at getting up there.
8 -
I'm a VR developer, I'm working on a zombie survival, I want to finish that, then start an vrmmorpg 😍😍😍9
-
I've pulled the third all-nighter in a row because of a ridiculous bug in legacy spaghetti..
I finally kicked its ass so I can now emerge from my cave, feeling like both a lifeless zombie and someone who got reanimated after half a week.
You all helped me through this tough time, love you all devRant ♥ -
The worst moment in my life is getting up in the morning. I feel like a fucking undead zombie every single day over again.
I want to fucking sleep and work later.5 -
Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.7
-
My friend recently tried to install apt on fedora 🤦♂️
Some how this created a zombie process And used a ton of the ram and the ram usage leaked out of the VM and into the host server
And I had to explain to him why a package manager meant for a system with dpkg will not work on one that uses rpm12 -
This week has not been fun. I worked 12-14h everyday, slept 4h, felt like a zombie. It's 3pm and I still have 8 tasks to go.
4 -
@dfox
Feature request:
If(When you are in the app and go to notifications, group the notifications for the same rant.
||
Automatically sort unread notifications to the top)
{
Zombie = happy;
}
Sometimes I have to scroll forever1 -
Fun stuff from the few most recent pages in Dwarf Fortress bug tracker:
Human civilization's soldier is an Alligator Recruit.
Dead suspects confess to crimes
Crash due to zero-size weasel
Pets and other animals from retired fortresses appear as selectable 'workers' in request screen, die of old age on arrival
Some animal people have extra fingers
People dying twice?
Most confusingly, one necromancer shows as having died from old age twice, despite this not being possible.
My Nature Hating Adventurer Who Lacks Altruism And Is Very Cruel Isn't Happy After Butchering Animals
bat man males don't have geldables
Reanimated severed werebeast necromancer hand has a full body
Dwarf likes "cacao wood wood"
Dwarves turn hostile againt the player and defend their prison from raid sent to free them
Visitors giving birth during visit leave their baby behind
a water buffalo got stuck inside a rough tetrahedrite wall
Animals which retract into body parts forget to come out
Herbalist stuck on stepladder, starving to death.
Artifact has an image of nothing
Cave Dragons are sometimes intelligent, and sometimes join human civilizations
A goblin knocked over a workshop and now my dwarves are killing each other
Ambusher elves are being spotted, but the giant monsters they're riding on aren't.
runs with food from table to table. Can't eat
Intelligent Undead Sent on Mission Return as Ghosts
Horrified merchants immediately destroy their wagons, pack their goods and leave the depot
Dwarf king abdictates to become commoner necromancer apprentice
Internal body parts with certain tags can still wear clothing & armor, without being otherwise accessible
Necromancer marries zombie
Single dad dwarf with buggy dead wife leaves kid behind when he takes over holding
Large quantities of adamantine coins causes trade depot to burst into flame3 -
!dev
It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..
I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..
Think I became too old for this shit.
HELP!!!7 -
!rant
After the last rant where i complained about drawing fishes using p5.js
I added those zombie looking vectorized fishes to my game and it's currently working
Now, I m going to add more fishes then maybe colour too
2 -
Fuck this I need to ventilate.
Thinking about job change because maintaining and extending 3 years old codebase (flask project) is FUCKIN exhausting. It was badly written since start by someone who obviously didn't know much about python. (Going by commit history.)
Examples:
- if var != None / if var == None
- if var is not None / if var is None (well..)
- Returning self-parsed obscure JSONs from dict variable
- Serializing dictionaries into database by str() (both sqlalchemy and mysql support JSON format) - THEY ARE ALMOST UNUSABLE OTHER WAY AROUND (luckily, python can deal even with that)
- celery tasks, the way they are called they BLOCK the whole flask (not bad in itself, but if connection breaks there are no errors, nothing it just hangs)
- obscure generator/yielding that contains return of flask's response in itself
- creating fifteen thousands of variables one by one where they would look so nicely as dict keys, and hey they are then both MANUALLY SERIALIZED into returning dict by "%s" (string formatting) [okey, some of them are objecst like datetime but MATE WTF]
- many, many more, PEP lint shall not pass
I would rather deal with fresh startup owners wanting me to program unicorns in one week then trying to extend and manage zombie-like projects.
Nothing personal against the firm I actually like the place.3 -
Old unused military satellite to make international calls free. Local tv station to leak episodes. 4500 hosts zombie net with autoreplicant bots that scans for vulnerability to populate the net to do distributed denial of service attacks. Jumper on the neighborhood cabin to redirect the school's call for being absent, an older friend pretended to be my father.
-
So... The scrapyard man who I gave my scrap gave me this beauties he had there for years...
Anyone knows how I can test the screens and maybe build a desktop screen out of them?
17 -
It is the year 2451 ad and mankind rules the galaxy with a lazy iron fist. There are roughly 14,000 civilizations, comprised of just over
17,000 intelligent species on a quarter of a million earth-like
worlds. And all of them call themselves 'the galactic empire'.
No one told them that twenty planets doesn't qualify them for the title "galactic."
Well, we could rule, if we wanted to. Most of its just backwaters that no one wants anyway. It turned out that the reason no one invaded earth before was because they were too busy fighting themselves. Stupidity it appears, is not a unique human quality.That and the sex robots. Theres more of them in the galaxy than actual meatbags. Many species had taken to artificial wombs and 'vatbabies', which is exactly what they are called. Those poor bastards will carry that label for life.
We never did break light speed, but most of the rich exist in hypersleep anyway. Most of them only wake up once a year or so. There are some that only creek out of bed to check their stock portfolio. I hear there is even one trillionaire thats up and about once a century to ask if we have broken light speed yet.
Despite all the progress over the last 400 years, historians all agree about the most significant event in modern history.
The lobster went extinct two hundred years ago on earth.
Theres been riots ever since.
* * *
In other news I'm still working on the game I guess. It's like totally the most okay indie game you'll ever play--if I ever finish it.
I put about a year of work into the NPC system, and then chatGPT came out.
After everything thats happened, at this point I may just make a game about an indie dev making a survival game, being stuck in the actual apocalypse or some weird political dysopia.
Put it on rewind, it was originally a zombie game. But at the time the market got flooded and steam sales for zombie games cratered. So I pivoted to something more along the lines of fallout. Then the flash market crashed, bunch of publishers folded, and adobe stopped support for flash (probably for the best). Then newgrounds, which I was gonna launch on for promotion (because actual marketing is expensive), ended support for flash.
Was going the route of kickstarter, and that year the KS market got flooded and the bar rose almost over night so you needed super high production quality out the gate, and a network of support you already built for months.
We had a brief nuclear war scare, and I watched the articles come out about market saturation for post-apocalypse games, so I pivoted back to zombies. Then covid happened and the entire topic was really fucked. So I went back to fallout meets rimworld. Then we had a flood of games doing that exact premise pretty much out of the fucking blue, so I went for a more single-survivor type game. Then ukraine happened and the threat of nuclear war has been slowly sapping the genre of its steam, on well, steam.
Then I was told to get a cancer screening which I can't afford. Then I broke a tooth and spent a month in agony.
Then a family member died. Then I made no money from the sale of a business I did everything to help get off the ground, then I helped renovate an entire house on short notice and sell it, then I lost two months living in a hotel
while looking for a new place to live. Then I spent two and a half years suffering low-level alcoholism, insomnia, and drifting between jobs.
Then I wrote amazing poetry. And then I rediscovered my love of math. And then I made out for the first time in over a year. And then I rediscovered my love of piano and guitar. And then I fell into severe depression for the last year. Then I made actual discoveries in math. And I learned to love my hobbies again, and jog, and not drink so much, and sing, and go on long drives, and occasional hikes, and talk to people again, and even start designing games and UIs again. And then I learned that doing amazing things without a lot of money is still possible, and then I discovered the sunk cost fallacy, and run on sentences, and how inside me there was a part of me that refused to quit because of circumstances I couldn't control, and then I learned that life goes on even when others lives have ended, even when everything and everyone never had an once of faith in you, and you've become the avatar of the bad luck brian meme..still, life goes on.
And we try to pick up the pieces, try, one more time, because the climb, and the fall, and the getting back up, is all there is.
What I would recommend, if you're thinking of making a game, or becoming an independent game developer, is, unless you have a *lot* of money upfront (think 50-100k saved, minimum, like one years income *bare* minimum), and unless you already have a full decade in the industry--don't make a game.
Just don't.17 -
Why not release the devrant (mobile+web) client on github (and maybe gitlab for people that would actually contribute but are special about the usage of github) so people could contribute to it, leading to faster progress? I thought about it now for a bit and couldn't see any problems with that, since the current apk can be anyway unpacked via freely available tools (appcelerator doesn't make it too hard either anyway 😕) and the website/api isn't any secret either (see the 4000 clients getting patched together out of zombie like api calls)21
-
Well, I always say that if you going to make things a mess, do it a spectacular way. Today I kicked off a data import job that went bad, and in the process of canceling said job, I canceled myself, and the job went rogue, and became a zombie and ate ALL the system memory, bringing the server to a deathly crawl and throwing a dozen developers temporarily out of work for about an hour, before I was finally able to kill the zombie, and balance was restored to the Universe.
-
Anyone else get quite burnt out even after, like, 4 hours of programming? I usually feel like a zombie and can't think properly. Will this eventually stop happening?17
-
Rant rant rant!
Le me subscribe to website to buy something.
Le register, email arrives immediately.
*please not my password as clear text, please not my password as clear text *
Dear customer your password is: ***
You dense motherfucker, you special bread of idiotic asshole its frigging 2017 and you send your customer password in an email!???
They frigging even have a nice banner in their website stating that they protect their customer with 128bit cryptography (sigh)
Protect me from your brain the size of a dried pea.
Le me calm down, search for a way to delete his profile. Nope no way.
Search for another shop that sells the good, nope.
Try to change my info: nope you can only change your gender...
Get mad, modify the html and send a tampered form: it submits... And fail because of a calculation on my fiscal code.
I wanna die, raise as a zombie find the developers of that website kill them and then discard their heads because not even an hungry zombie would use that brains for something.1 -
Just wondering... anyone else think having a script automatically kill gradle if it runs for more than X amount of minutes would be a great sanity saver?
"Jesus Fucking Zombie Christ I only added ONE FUCKING TEXTVIEW IN A SIMPLE GODDAMNED LINEAR LAYOUT YOU WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT AND GRADLE IS STILL RUNNING AFTER FIVE MOTHERFUCKING MINUTES?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!"1 -
Had to wake up 1 hour earlier today, and the worry of that kept me awake last night. Now I sit here like a zombie, hating the day that I'm going to have, which is not full of exciting coding with headphones on and Babymetal in my ears, but full of meetings.
I already see my eyes tearing up, reality fading, a guy in a meeting asking me something and pulling me back to reality so that I could stare blankly into his eyes and reply a generic "Yeah, I agree with your proposal", so everyone will think that I'm on drugs or something.
Welp... gotta go. Fuck.2 -
The Cranberries - Zombie
This song still sends shivers through my spine and the sad message behind the song. -
hmm..
1. coronavirus is threatening the world
2. food delivery companies have no free slots for the next 3 days at least
3. the winds are so strong that they make windows seriously bend. Spooky stuff - haven't seen anything like this before in my life. Feels like one more gust and the window will break (wind speed -- 33+m/s)
well.. time to charge all the batteries in the house and find my zombie-apocalypse survival kit
P.S. any chance Corona is what's gonna make zombies?
P.P.S. tomorrow is Friday, the 13th and a full moon. Yiippeee!!!5 -
Hi, I and my dev are finishing our First Game, it's an application because u know, everyone have a smartphone... but this's not the point. I'm an IT student but I didn't graduate yet (maybe next year 🙊) but my dev did a year ago, (yup is older than me), but the fun fact is that I didn't write a single line of code (for this game) because my dev chose me only for my drawing skills 😎 (OK as a future dev I feel a little noob and scared, but no problem I love drawing, even more than programming, less frustrating😉.. sometimes) BTW, this project took 1 year of cooperation and before this an other year (to my dev to learn C# and unity), now we are so close and proud of our creation. As soon as possible I will show you everything 😁 a concept art of our zombie's face just to prove something
p.s. this app an this community it's so funny and, well, kind :)
2 -
Our IT team keeping our PET Production server alive by resizing partitions on the fly.
#living-on-the-edge
#caveman-practices
-
Met one of my friends after almost three months. (He was out on vacation)
We randomly start talking about life and what we aspire to be.
He's doing Business Management Studies, so naturally, he wants to be some sort of manager.
He then asks about me. I tell him how I'm learning and aspiring to be a Web dev and do a little bit of ML on the side.
And following conversation ensues:
Him- Dude, what's the use of learning web development? Anyone can make a website today. Haven't you seen those ads?
Me- *Knowing he's talking about WIX* Yeah I've seen em. But it mostly generates dumb templates. If you need something custom, you gotta take help from a professional.
Him - Nah dude, you can get custom made stuff from them too. Web developers will soon lose their jobs. Learn something else.
Me - *Trying to control the urge to punch, I tried to explain that a website is more than HTML and CSS*
He - *Doesn't want to understand what I'm saying and says I should do something else, since automation will take away developer jobs *
WHAT THE FLYING SPAGHETTI FUCK!?
Why don't these people FUCKING UNDERSTAND (even after telling again and again) that there's more to a website THAN JUST FUCKING STATIC TEMPLATES
EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARDS
And what's with claiming to know more about someone's profession than the person himself who's spending his days and nights dealing with problems your fucking zombie brains can't even fathom.
This was literally the third guy I met this month who said something similar. Are these people so common now?2 -
So the other day my car broke down and since the shop wanted a lot of money I asked a friend of mine who knowns his way around cars for help.
Just when we finished repairing it I was like "whenever the Zombie apocalypse starts you'll be really useful, me instead won't be since no one might need computers anymore" . His response was epic:
"Nah, you will simply build a terminator with your computer skills and it will kill all Zombies!"
Now I am actually looming forward to the Zombie apocalypse!
TL;DR: us geeks will build terminators in case of zombies!3 -
I've been on holiday for almost 2 months now... I don't even know what a sleeping pattern is anymore😭😭
I have school tomorrow... I'll look like a zombie during orientation😂 -
You either spend time organising the code even for a “small project” which “will never change” or cry at your mess one year later
-
Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign? -
If anyone has read any of my posts before you may know, they're usually of a certain... Shall we say, dark, nature?
Well this possibly represents one of the darkest things I've imagined (with regards to technology and programming) I've had.
I was asked if I want to be buried or cremated when I die and they seem so... Pedestrian and I thought long and hard about what would be a fitting way to honour my life and what to do with my remains and it came to me...
I want my flesh to be only partially treated with formaldehyde so chunks of me rot away and others don't.
I want my skeletal structure to be replace with titanium rods with actuators and servo motors where my joints would have been with an internal gyroscope to assist with balance and my corpse will be installed with some sort of IOT controller board with on board wifi.
The companion smart phone app will allow my partially rotting cybernetic zombie corpse to be driven around by a bored grave yard grounds keeper while kids are doing LSD pretending they're all that.
Make them really believe the apocalypse has begun and the dead have risen.
I could be a whole thing for future corpse disposal too.
"Smart corpses, for the loved one who will be more intelligent in death than they were in life."
Although that's probably a bit too harsh...7 -
I guess this is gonna be one of those days where I have to re-read a paragraph over and over until I finally remember something. I'm just trying to learn D: Why won't you let me brain?
-
as a follow-up to @green-portals zombie apokalypse question.
apokalypse happened, most of humankind faded, the global economy, logistics and infrastructure collapsed, nature however seems to be okay with it. there's no electrical power available (let's say nuclear plants are fine nevertheless)
you're one of the survivors living in the post-apokalypse era, finding yourself in a settlement where technology level has fallen back to medieval times (people lack knowledge AND material supplies). The outside world is dangerous, due to human raiders and extremely violent groupings, as well as environmental hazards. what do you do for a living?
is there a place for a software engineer in this new medieval world?12 -
When your legacy retarded old as fuck frameworks are slowly dying and instead of migrating to new backend framework, losing some money but improving quality of our products dipshits in charge hire vue.js developer to try to replace jquery with vue just to keep this 10 years old legacy zombie crap alive for 2 more years..
How can you be this fucking retarded greedy motherfucking morons... it shouldnt even be possible1 -
I hate Windows.
It says, that there is no chrome.exe instacne, but there is one which is in a dead state and I can't start chrome...
4 -
Most developers are morons, pt 2
In my last post on this topic, I discussed zombie developers, i.e. lower tier developers who enter the industry from a non-tech background usually through a bootcamp or get hired at a small (and usually desperate) company after doing a few github projects.
In this post I'll be talking about the middle 67% of developers. The average joes. The ones who know enough software to build apps, maybe even publish it and sometimes (not always) actually get users using their products, even for a brief moment of time.
For these people, software is genuinely interesting to them, but they don't really put in enough effort to get good at it. They don't put in enough late nights. They don't cancel enough leisure or social events. For most, they're only good enough to not get fired (job security) and that's as far as they want to take their careers.
And I suppose there's nothing wrong with that. Most people don't have a yearning to go above and beyond, so I'd expect most developers to follow this pattern as well.
So to you, I say thank you. Thank you for doing all the boring menial work no one cares to do. You might even get a pat on the back if you put in the extra effort.
19 -
This isn't about dev stuff or anything, but I guess zombies kind of exist now?
There's an article and news footage of a teenager high off of bath salts, ripping his clothes off, and attacking a man by tearing and eating half of the man's face.
From the article "When Miami Police officer Jose Ramirez arrived on the scene and ordered Eugene to freeze, the crazed attacker ignored the warning, growling at the officer instead. Ramirez shot Eugene once, then four more times when the first shot didn’t seem to have an effect, killing Eugene, but not before 70-80 percent of Poppo’s face had been chewed off."
You can go ahead and read about it here: http://gunsandammo.com/blogs/...
If you get sick looking at blood, or someone's face missing, don't click that link. You will probably put your phone down (or get up from your computer) and puke.5 -
I have dreams where I stare at code/tables/program output, half of the problems are real and half are made up, I wake up stressed out about not solving anything and trying to remember which is the real half I need to solve.
Why can't I dream about the video games I play? I need to get a life... -
Freaking out!!! I am trying to stuff as many AP courses as I can into my schedule. I can handle it but I can't take everything I want!! I also have to make some great projects so that I can put it on my github and feel like a Real Dev, and I have to study for my SATs. And then I have to apply to college. In 2.5 years.
Yay!! Which means I have to go to sleep at 12 wake up at 4(Which for dev standards is a lot of sleep). Which means I have to zombie through school. Going to be a great 3 years folks.20 -
android development is shitty af, it will make you super zombie computer nerd that sit on his chair for fking several hours just to find the where the fk is null pointer exception is coming from not only this but for all kind of errors,logcat looks like someone just hacking nasa, you know what im the one who is shitty af i would have opt web dev instead of android dev , this retarded studio and emulator takes too much time to just load a simple fking thing & if i make some change in it i've to install that application again ,it's so pathetic and horse shit thing i've ever encountered , kotlin is fun it's actually great language most of the features are so helpful in it,but the google codelabs,it's all documentation , adding dependencies whole concepts are trash imo, why can't we install the dependencies using terminal what's problem in that ,but no they chose the hard way for no fuking reason, i've successfully wasted a year learning this shitty tech stack, hopefully this NY i will choose different stack , will work till ass off .gonna build some cool projects and will eventually try for internships and all. done with android dev, idk how senior dev's are alive in this field6
-
my neighbor decided to breakdown all walls in their apartment. Like, seriously, all of them, so I've gotta hear hardcore construction sounds from 8am till 5pm, everyday...
So now I'm waking up at 4pm and going to bed 7am. That way, since I can sleep thru a zombie apocalypse itself, I avoid that torture.
I'm not someone who holds grudges, but I am leaving a speaker blasting whitenoise during my sleep time. That way, I can make sure the motherfuckers go thru at least some of the discomforts I'm went before I managed to go nocturnal2 -
Anyone of you have any idea how to go sleep earlier? I was on sick leave for a week and usually watched movies or coded something to 6AM and now just lay on the bed for 3-4 hours each day and try to sleep. It ends up going to sleep at 4AM and being zombie at work.4
-
Switched to LG G5 from iPhone 7 Plus.
Lg's screen has burn in and took me about 10 hours to completely fuck it up, restore it, flash crDroid(Lineage os based, the only custom rom working fine so far) and workaround the faulty wifi chip giving null mac address by faking it.
Still love my new(old) phone more than the iPhone.2 -
awake for 48 hrs already still needs to code because i'm a slave and i won't be able to sleep if i stop but brain is now lagging halp!2
-
It's really hard to search in Google about how to kill children when parent is not waiting for them so the children won't become a zombie
-
Upgraded our internal samba fileshare. Was getting too old. So updating the apt sources list and push the dist-upgrade: what could possibly go wrong?
Everything.
Somehow the locale went astray, updating the manpages gave too many errors and now finally everything's fucked up, because it somehow deleted the sudo binary and root is locked or we don't have password.
We noobs.
But samba was updated and it's still serving our files.7 -
Third (or fourth) AI winter coming in despite global warming. Cold war level shit cyber warfare.
C/C++ not dead, Java zombie still in the businesses.
Still no usable IDE (on Linux)5 -
... worst drunk coding experience?
none. or to be more precise, all of the three of them I had. I can't code drunk, i hate doing it, i hatw even thinking about doing it when drunk.
so after those initial three attempts i don't try to do it again, ever.
BUT, best coding experience while high?
ALL OF THEM.
some of the best pieces of code I wrote i did when I was high. my mind goes into overdrive at those times, and my thinking is not lines/threads of thought, but TREES of thought, branching and branching, all nodes of each layer of the tree coming to me AT ONCE, one packet == whole layer across all of the branches.
and the best was when one day, in about 14 hour marathon of coding while high, i wrote from scratch a whole vertical slice of my AI system that i've been toying around in my head for several years prior, and I had all of the high-level concepts ALMOST down, but could never specify them into concrete implementations.
and I do mean MY ai system, my own design, from the ground up, mixing principles of neural networks and neuropsychology/human brain that I still haven't seen even mentioned anywhere.
autonomous game ai which percieves and explores its environment and tools within it via code reflection, remembers and learns, uses tools, makes decisions for itself for its own well-being.
in the end, i had a testbed with person, zombie and shotgun.
all they had pre-defined in their brains were concepts of hunger and health. nothing more.
upon launching it, zombie realized it wants to feed, approached oblivious person, and started eating it.
at which point, purely out of how the system worked, person realized: "this hurts, the hurt is caused by zombie, therefore i hate zombie, therefore i want to hurt it", then looked around, saw the shotgun, inspected its class by reflection, realized "this can hurt stuff", picked the shotgun up, and shot the zombie.
remembered all of that, and upon seeing another zombie, shot it immediately.
it was a complete system, all it needed to become full-fledged thing was adding more concepts and usable objects, and it would automatically be able to create complex multi-stage, multi-element plans to achieve its goals/needs/wants and execute them. and the system was designed in such a way that by just adding a dictionary of natural language words for the concept objects on top of it, it should have been able to generate (crude but functional) english sentences to "talk" about its memories, explain what happened when, how it reacted, what it did and why, just by exploring the memory graph the same way as when it was doing its decision process... and by reversing the function, it should have been able to recieve (crude) english sentences that would make it learn what happened somewhere else in the gameworld to someone else, how to use stuff and tell it what to do, as in, actually transfer actual actionable usable knowledge to it...
it felt amazing to code for 14 hours straight, with no testruns during that, run it for the first time after those 14 hours, and see that happen.
and it did, i swear! while i was coding, i was routinely just realizing typos and mistakes i did 5-20 minutes ago, 4 files/classes ago! the kind you (and i) usually notice only when you try to run the thing and it bugs out.
it was a transcendental experience.
and then, two days later, i don't remember anymore what happened, but i lost all of that code.
and since then, i never mustered enough strength and resolve to try and write the whole thing again.
... that was like 4 years ago.
i hope that miracle will happen again one day...3 -
!rant
Good Morning! (it's morning here in my area) My coworker gave a good word today "Don't work for an arsehole until forgot to work for yourself" and "Working for a company who under appreciate you is like having sex with a zombie , the more you remain inside, the more part of your penis disappear"
hahahahaaha and today is his last day..6 -
I'm currently having a problems sleeping my inner philosopher just keeps thinking about various things. I wanna try to write some of them down as an simply to see what will happen.
I'll write my opinion down as honest as possible so feel free to disagree, but point out what I should rethink, if you want me to consider it.
To me respect has to be earned. I think especially on the internet many people try to skip this crucial step when they try to get respect. Most often when they want an opinion or their ideals to be respected. Most of the time it doesn't even feel like they want to be respected, but rather accepted.
There's nothing wrong with accepted in my opinion, but there are several approaches to get to this point and I despise some of them.
Earning acceptance by earning respect is one of the right ways to do it. Working hard towards your goals, showing your individual strength, standing behind your ideals. These are things I can respect.
I should also mention that these Ideals should be concrete, based on rational thought and a general good will or you will just twist my words to say that I support e.g. IS, Stalin's politics ect.
On a side node, I think it'd be wrong to disrespect everything Stalin did, since, from an economical point of view, he pushed Russia forward by quite a bit.
Then on the other side I see crybabies. People who want to be accepted, without putting effort in their ideals. Most of the time not even aiming for acceptance through respect, but through pity. Honestly, that's all they're going to get from me.
Pity, for their petty ideals.
Basically all I ever see these people doing is attention whoring and practicing multiple deadly sins at once.
Wrath, jealousy, sloth, pride, greed and optionally also gluttony.
Lust is rather a separate package. When I think about it, I link it mostly to horny teens and "send bob and vegane" type of stuff.
Gluttony being powered by sloth or vice versa, enhancing it.
The clear image I have in mind, while I write about this packages of deadly sins however, is that of a jealous person, complaining / getting angry about something they could change change themselves, but want them to be changed for them. Mostly through social networks such as Facebook, Twitter and whatever the fuck Tumblr is supposed to be.
"I wanna be rich, why is <person> richt but I'm not? This world is so unfair 😡". Have you tried working towards becoming rich?
"I don't don't feel pretty. Accept me". Accept yourself. Done.
"I don't like <person or organization>'s doing". If that's the whole message, all you probably did so far is complaining or crying. Sweet tears.
Stuff like that can happen to any person, just like any person makes mistakes.
Mistakes are made to learn from them. If you realize realize and accept your mistakes others may do so as well and forgive you.
But we are he towards this idiotic trend where people just can swallow their pride even for microscopic things. They instead push their pride to higher levels of ignorance, blaming other people, l(ying)mfao, creating black holes of density in the process. Makes me wonder whether their real motive is an inside bet on who can get the most people to kill them selves by face palming.
Most of my life I have been fairly protected against these people, besides some spikes of incompetence, but recently the have invaded 2 areas in my world that make the world somewhat less of a pain. Programming and the internet culture.
Yes, I'm talking about that master / slave BS renaming and article 11 and 13.
The remaking itself isn't really the problem, but rather the context. This was basically a show of power for the self proclaimed "social justice warriors" or SJW for short.
The fact that this madness has spread. That's what worries me. To me it feels like the first zombie has spawned.
Then we have this corrupted piece of incompetent shit, called Axel Voss, and other old farts.
They live in a galaxy far away from reality, somewhere in the European Parlament, making laws they don't know shit about, regulating things they know shit about.
All in the name of the people of the EU of course. And by people we obviously talk about the money.
I can honestly not think of another reason, after reading the replies Voss and his party gave on Twitter regarding the shit they pulled off.
Well, at least none that doesn't involve some firm of brain death.
For now I'll show them as much as possible how much I despise / reject them. Currently playing with the thought of some kind (social media?) website were posts from other sites or actions in general can be rated only with "Fuck you"s.
Given these articles, I should not have them hosted in an European country though 😅.
Almost hitting that 5k character limit 😰1 -
The most I have worked on something is 14 hours. It was for a university project, that involved creating a "banking" app that was intended to demonstrate the use of an SQL database. I had a partner, and we had done nothing about the project until the previous day. We started working at 5 PM and the demonstration was at 12 PM (noon) in the next day. We used PostgreSQL for the database, and C# and Windows forms for the GUI. My partner took on the database creation and I took on the GUI. I had minimal experience with C# and had never worked with Windows forms or DB bridging in a program. On top of it, lack of sleep hits me really hard, so by midnight I was just like a zombie with near zero focus capacity. As a result, I ended up rewriting numerous components with identical logic and appearance and some different elements that could be parameterized, simply because organizing my thoughts to write proper code was out of the question in my condition. The writing, debugging, testing and packing of the project ended at 7 AM, the morning of demonstration. I slept for 3 hours and then met with my partner and headed to uni. I never left a project for the last moment again. We ended up taking a 9/10 grade.1
-
why on earth somebody thought that MySQL on MacOS must be restarted automatically every time you kill it like a fucking zombie?
An why the fuck every time I restart the Mac, I must kill the fucking zombie with a kill -9 in the head 2 or 3 times before being able to access it again?3 -
#!/bin/bash
# An ideal work day
# Wake up naturally, keep sleeping until I won't wake up as a zombie
TIMETOWAKEUP=$(while ps -eo state,pid,cmd | grep "^Z"; do sleep 1; done)
# Work, between 9AM - 5PM, weekdays only!
TIMETOWORK=$(while [ $(date +%H) -gt 09 -a $(date +%H) -lt 17 -a $(date +%u) -le 5 ];
# Do cool work and get paid, every second.
do $COOLWORK && $GETPAID; sleep 1; done)
# Home
TIMETOCHILL=$(while $ATHOME;
# Do cool work, without getting paid, and spend money made from $TIMEATWORK
do $COOLWORK && $SPENDSPENDSPEND; sleep 28800; done)
$TIMETOWAKEUP; $TIMETOWORK; $TIMETOCHILL
# I don't get out much -
Its festive season. Half of the team mates are on leave. Servers are down. No work can be done. Office looks life less ( which it always is). Boss asking why didnt you take leave. Yes because your free time off is almost zero. I need money. People being happy and getting in relationship/married. I am a fucking loner here.
Dragging my ass across the hallway like a ass fucked zombie. Typing this rant with a grumpy face. And people say monday blues are worst.
Fuck this emptiness. Fuck servers on maintenance. Fuck these white iridescent bulbs glowing for no reason. Fuck people murmuring around me. Fuck everything which is in my sight. Fuck this depressive fucking festive season.2 -
The happiness of finishing a project that put so much stress into you, best feeling ever.
10 minutes later...
Others in office: Oh you're done. Could you help us with
Me: No
Others: It's not a lo
Me: No.
At least give me time to catch a power nap.2 -
I was in a hurry
this Asian chick grabbed me and not let me pass
I kept slinking out of her grip
she kept grabbing me again
I said "no I'm serious, I gotta go"
I pulled more violently
she fell on the floor
she pulled me down with her
she grabbed my legs
I started kicking her off
a kick to her shoulder dislocated it, but she kept going anyway
I'm trying to get up and kicking
I look back and now even her face is busted
yet she's still going at me, grabbing, pulling
what the fuck?
then the scene changes to a forest
we're in a band and trying to survive out there
by now the jig is up
encounter a person in a clearing, sledgehammer him in the face to disable him so he doesn't notice us
except that didn't do shit. his skull caved in, his bones are broken, but he's moving and moaning to try to get to you. he's not a zombie either. he's alive. looks perfectly alive. but his bones are broken and he's still moving and going. what the fuck do you do?
the bones start moving underneath his skin, he's just reorganizing and reinventing his body live
they're unkillable
the fuck you do now?
I used to have a lot of zombie dreams but what the fuck is this new shit3 -
Monday AM. Instead of building images in the backend i'll just make them in HTML and use a headless browser to screenshot them ! Sweet. Doable in a day and saves the rest of my week !
Friday afternoon. Crashes, browser failure, zombie processes, intermittent failure, docker failure with headless browser. Still not working well.
Why am I such a dumb fuck ? -
!rant
Well, today I wake up, zombie like and I was searching throw all the new notifications on the phone...
To my surprise, a company that had interviewed me in December want to call me tp see my actual profesional status (which is a fucked up one tbh xD) because the got a great feedback at the interview and wanted to check on me again.
I will tell you how this end, I hope well (I need a job :_( )
Now I am nervous ><2 -
It took me 48 hours ( not continuously) to fix a bug by going through a cluster fuck code of multiple modules. Tracing the error through 5 or 6 layers. And u dont get error logs right away. You need to recreate that error and see the logs on a kubernetes pod. Just to find out the bug was a duplicate.
Yes jokes are on me. I fucked up by not checking for duplicate. I steered right away on that shit dipped bug like a hungry/zombie hound. Fuck me. -
stupid stomach why cant you handle a little coffee huh like seriously bro. i need coffee to not be a zombie all day, please my dear stomach bro stop hurting me cause you are hurting us......8
-
i'm bored. what video games u guys r playing.
can u suggest some very unique video game like baba is you, webbed, ...
whatever genre, but nothing horror or zombie like doom.
last game i finished and liked very much were far cry blood dragon, aoe2, saints row3 and portal 2 and it was years ago32 -
Hello technical people. This article was a great read.
It talks about innovation, outsourcing and whether your company is turning into a zombie company with contracts.
https://berthub.eu/articles/posts/...1 -
Customer (to me): I was talking to [my coworker] and he said to [generic fix]. I just wanted to let him know it worked!
Me: I'm glad to hear that--I'll be sure to let him know!
Customer: Thanks!
Me (to coworker): That person said your fix worked.
Him (an atheist): Thank Jesus... thank Zombie Jesus!
Me: More like "thank Barry Benson."
Coworker: Who is Barry Benson?
Me: *Googles Barry Benson to show him*
We both cracked up for like a full minute. -
Sweet Zombie NullFuckingPointerException...
New Rule: When creating an API (I'm looking at you, Java), designers must include a boolean flag in the parameter list of any method which throws a NullPointerException.
If TRUE, this means that a NULL result is non-trivial and the method should therefore THROW an NPE.
If set to FALSE, this means that NULL is completely f*cking trivial so whenever there's a NULL result, just instantiate a new instance of the return type and return that, 'cause that's what was gonna happen in the catch block of the NPE anyways.2 -
How do you fellow programmers deal with eye bags? Looking like a zombie after 8 hours of work is killing me6
-
When my would be group leader came in, looking like an escaped Zombie from the Walking Dead, and had to fake a mind blank to escape alive...
-
I regret being mean.
Growing up, I went to International school. Everything was taught in English. I transferred from a Russian school after studying for 6 years. It felt like a heaven although my dad was busting his ass off to pay my tuition.
We had many students from many countries. 2 students from North Korea. I use to make fun of them but now I think I should have nicer. I miss my school and that time. We to sneak to auditorium, hide there from teachers. We use to play "zombie", in pitch black, 1 becomes a zombie and others hide and run from the zombie. We use to play the piano and beautiful music there. The playful and joyful time where everything seemed possible and we had bright futures ahead of us, I miss that.
I want to become more loving and kind person.
https://youtube.com/watch/...10 -
When I was started my journey in coding, what ever I do, I think about coding. Sleep code, eat code, dream code, dating code. Its become my usually nightmares.
Its become worst when I got stucked in coding. Ppl see me like a geek zombie.
Coding used to ruin my life.
But when my code working like charm, feel like god. I can do anything. 😂😂😂
Sometime l just love it, but most of the time I fucking hate it. -
Most developers are morons.
Because the field of software development has a relatively low barrier of entry, we naturally have a large and steady supply of under-trained and clueless keyboard monkeys, hereby referred to as zombies.
The reason the industry is set up this way is because companies need a steady supply of new talent. Big Tech is so greedy, they snatch most good talent and bench them, leaving the scraps for everyone else. Other companies lower their standards and hire anybody that can copy and paste. Most entry-level software work at smaller companies is usually low risk and high churn and that's where the low barrier of entry comes in.
I have nothing against zombie developers, so long as they know their place.
I've seen too many zombies think they're CTO material after 2 years of fixing javascript bugs, or think that if they watch just enough egghead.io videos, they'll be promoted to senior.
Typically a zombie developer will go down one of two paths: 1) they either burn out and realize that software isn't what they're meant for (most common scenario) or 2) they actually get good and decide to stick around.
The ones who stick around though usually do so because it hits a sweet spot for them. To them, software is:
- Interesting enough to do it for a full-time job
- Good enough at it to secure a steady job at a two-bit company
- Pays enough to pay the bills
These people don't have a deep passion for software. It's basically just a full-time hobby for them.
And I have nothing against that. The market is satisfied, they're satisfied and I'm satisfied so long as they don't start thinking that they and I are on the same level.
Know your place, zombie devs.
2 -
I'm sorry.
Its so nice to encourage you all to grander things and provide the means by which you can achieve all your goals with ease.
I'm one of many brainless zombie twats that does what I'm told when someone stoops enough to tell me to do what any decent human being should and puts up with my worthless ass. :)5 -
Do only developers have to do such tasks like Cinderella sorting out the lentils from the ashes?
Poor co-workers
* who had to program against the undocumented closed, ever changing API from Exchange Server, supporting over a decade old versions
* who had to compile a c++11 compatible clang or gcc on some sick old OS and almost got it working with compiling a fresher gcc with one that got stuck in one of the build stages.
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View