So in my 6 ppl dev team management had to do cuts and pulled a jira report of story points sum of the past 10 months, it went like this:

1. 307
2. 307
3. 283
4. 274
5. 257
6. 220

The 6. Guy is a teamlead so he was safe. 4 and 5 guys were fired with zero notice and 1 weeks severance pay (we are contractors).

Best part is that remaining 2. And 3. devs produce very low quality code. But hey, they have enough story points. Managament didnt even bother to discuss with teamlead about who to keep. Workload is the same, we were told to "level up".

You can't make this shit up. US based startups man.

  • 7
    Juat add more points to each story sounds like an easy fix
  • 11
    @KDSBest there is no fix. Guys already fired. We gonna start inflating points from now on.. also each time scope changes or some edge case comes up we gonna do them in new tickets, because we have to play numbers game with these idiots in managament....
  • 9
    quit while you still can.

    when story points are used as individual performance metric, instead of just a tool to plan team effort, there's not many ways things can go worse.

    but make sure to tell the "management" how worthless they are.

    don't try to sail a sinking ship - put it to the torch and enjoy the spectacle.
  • 3
    It's like management doesn't realize programmers are smarter than them or something

    What happens if you punish people for arbitrary things? They will game the arbitrary things.
  • 1
    With the high returns on loans now nobody cares about venture capital so startups are gonna get axed. As managers never care about the actual product beyond the only product of capitalism, that is power, you can expect them to make absolutely retarded clown decisions.
  • 4
    Devs with the most story points survive bc they grinded out tiny coding tasks. Now they’re left with more complex tasks they probably can’t do that we’re assigned to the devs who were let go.
  • 6
    I asked my boss the other day: "am I too slow?"

    He basically said: "What you produce works and I don't have to fix it like I need to do with other team members."

    Edit: I am glad where I work is what I am trying to say. This story points shit sounds like a nightmare. I feel for you.
  • 2
    @TeachMeCode exactly. But nobody cares
  • 0
    @topsecret230 that is what I wanted to say
  • 4
    Well, they didn't play the game right: you just make every ticket 100 story points... even if they're REALLY only 4... and then you do 3 per sprint. Bang, you're a "10x-er" and effectively unfireable!
  • 2
    On a similar level of micromanagement retardation, management once suggested using the number of commits and pull requests for a given time frame as a measurement of dev performance, and they call it fucking KPI, these fucknuggets.

    I am lucky because most of my colleagues don't know git's intricacies so they are pretty bad with it. Sometimes they just commit on master lol. But I guess I am also kinda fucked using commit squashing if management actually acts on it.

    Oh well, I don't give a fuck anymore.
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