My teacher shouted at me - "Go to hell".
What really hurt me was 'goto'.

Me: *uses HashMap* for a problem to count some elements*

Lecturer: why are you using HashMap?

Me: it's the best way of solving the problem

Lecturer: I haven't explicitly taught you what a HashMap is so why are you using it?

Me: Because I learn outside of what university teaches me

Lecturer: there's another way to do this

Me: enlighten me

Lecturer: iterate through the array using a nested for loop and count as you go along

Me: why the hell would I want to do that? That literally decreases the efficiency of my program by alot

GG lecturer telling me it's a better idea of making my O(n) runtime into an O(n^2) instead of complimenting my code.

Seriously what the fuck is up with the fucking education system. Since when was it okay to teach students how to completely fuck your code up and promote ways of making your code so inefficient?

Postman: We will stop supporting our Chrome app. Please download our "Native" app for better performance.

No motherfuckers.. Go die, alone, while your fucking family watch you bleed to death helplessly.

Electron is not native, don't mix true native development with lazy ass electron. Fuck you. A native postman would've been around 15MB in size but your "native" installer is 68MB so shut the fuck up and don't call it native or I will stick my native dick in your fucking throats.

I develop native apps So yeah, I'm pissed when web devs are starting to call electron and JS as native desktop apps... They are not... Now fuck off you smelly cunts.

A: "You write code? Can you fix my computer?"
M: "No, that's not how it works, bud"
A: "Why? It's both computer stuff."
M: *points to the greasy tire shop* "Let's go get your car painted there*
A: "Hell no"
M: "Why? It's both car stuff."

😂

First on the phone this afternoon and also a crapload of tickets.
*alright let's do some tickets*
*tringgggggg*
*fair enough, phone comes first*
*half an hour later call finishes*

*alright, tickets!*
*tringggg*
*alright phone first again*
*handles call, hangs up*

*Aaand tickets!*
*Tringgggggggg*
*oh come on I need to do tickets :/*
*handles call again and closes convo*

*Aaaand now: ticke... *TRINGGGG*
*oh come on!!*
*handles call once again*

*please don't interrupt me now, I need to do those ti.... *TRINGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
*fucking hell!*
*handles call and tries to stay calm*

*now tickets!*
*types reply, presses repl... *TRINGGGG 😈*
*OH FOR FUCKS SAKE*
*handles call once a-FUCKING-gain*

*if the phone rings now...*
*goes to the reply button again and: clic.... *TRINGGGGGG - GO FUCK YOURSELF!*

FUUUUUUUCKING FUCKING FUCK.

FUCK. TODAY WAS ANNOYING AS HELL.

A girl I used to have a crush on suddenly contacted after 2 years because she still thinks of me as one of her "best friends", and was sorry that she "hurt" me. After a few minutes talking, I knew she just wanted to get her new website done... Go to hell you fucking bitch

At age of 20, I got hired as junior dev at a mobile gaming company. We were 2 junior devs hired at the same time and one of our senior colleagues made a prank: he came in the office before us and rearranged our offices in a "funny" manner.

Two days later I waited for him to go home. I opened his PC case, removed the power button cable from the motherboard and then re-arranged everything back to normal. Well, I couldn't resist...

Next day he came into the office and, well, surprise... the PC was not starting. He went to the IT department and they spent 4 hours trying to figure out why it was not working. They replaced the CPU, RAM memory, including the PSU.

I had to go and tell them: "maybe it's the power button jack?!".

I got into some problems for that prank. Indeed I crossed a line, but what the hell... that was a bad IT department.

I hate everybody who says JavaScript is the best language because of loose typing and its easy to learn, YES OF COURSE IT IS EASY!

ITS FUCKING JAVASCRIPT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! AND THEN SOME ASSHOLE CAME ALONG, CREATED NODE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
YOU THINK JAVASCRIPT IS THE BEST?! DO YOU REALLY??!!! OH YEAH!?!
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
AND THEN TELL ME AGAIN JAVASCRIPT IS A WELL DESIGNED AND PROPER LANGUAGE!!
I'M OUT!

A big shoutout to all software vendors, who, at the top of their product homepage, simply explain to you in 2-3 non-bullshit sentences what their product actually does, and what it is used for. I fucking love you.

And a big fat middle finger to all the rest with your useless buzzword gobbledygook. Go to hell.

Dude, FUCK automated bathrooms.

First of all, what the hell is so complicated about making a motion sensing faucet that works? Why does it *need* to be motion sensing? I stand there for 5-10 seconds with my stupid soapy hands extended, waiting for a squirt of the divine liquid.

And then the immediately following experience isn't much better. Motion sensing paper towel dispenser. The first go works fine, but it always dispenses half of what you need to get your grimy paws dry. So you go in for seconds, and it just flat out ignores you. Leaves you on read. You flap your pathetic noodle arms at it again. It isn't happening. Please wait 3-5 business days.

Oh, and god forbid you forget to cover the automatic toilet with a few wasted squares. Lean into a shit ONCE and you've just been prematurely flushed. Your ass is misted with the cold, unforgiving equivalent of an automatic insult.

Asshole design

Fucking hell. If I like your bloody app, I'll go rate it myself you fucktwaddle. Don't ask me to rate it just after I've opened it for the first time.

Best boss I have ever had?

He owned a car dealership and made me the first fulltime employed webdev in a car dealership in germany.

He believed in me and our mutual vision, and we had an awesome 7.5 years together. he gave me time to develop myself and to develop software and websites.

through my software and process optimization we were able to go from 300 sold cars per year to 3000 without hiring any more employees and without increasing workload and stress on the employees.

When I had my last day at his company, he didn't show up.
I was mad like hell, because we have spent so much time together, went to many countries together, even slept in the same hotel bed! I considered him pretty much a friend, even though he was my boss and 10 years older.

Much later he told me that he didn't show up on my last day because he didn't want to cry.

now we meet every 3 months and go out, eat and drink and just talk and laugh.

best guy ever, will never forget what he did for me.

Rant::post

Cute girl: what do you do for work?
Me: I'm a programmer
Cute girl: Meaning?
Me: that I spend all my day seated in front of a computer doing computer programs
She: (waits 20s) hmm, so i forgot my Facebook pass...
Me: go to hell (leaves)

Hello devRant, it's been a while. For anyone who has been following my... situation, here's a little update.

I moved back home to Kansas City, Missouri. Staying with parents for now.

I had to leave my daughter in Los Angeles, which was hard for me... but i can't provide for her living in my car.

I also got divorce papers in the mail from my wife. And I have a lot of court battles coming up to get custody of my daughter so she can live here with me. It's a long road ahead.

On the plus side, my parents took me camping and we kayaked the Little Niangua river! I hadn't gone camping or floating in at least 10 years. It was very relaxing.

At any rate fellas, enjoy and appreciate the good times and the people in your life. You never know when it'll all go to hell.

"Can you make it pop more..."

A moment of silence please, for the same fucking, irritating word that every goddamn Joe, Jim and Jenny uses for describing how a site should look. What the hell is pop supposed to mean, you want an epilepsy warning I'll put some popping lights and nausea inducing Nyan cats across your screen. You want it to pop more, sure no problem...

There's a window over there, go fucking throw your PC out of it.

Had a meeting with my boss earlier. Got yelled at for:
a) Working on a high-priority, externally-committed ticket (digit separators) that i was 85% done with on the Friday afternoon before my vacation instead of jumping to a lower-priority screwdriver ticket that just came in. Even though my boss agreed with me that what I did was exactly what I should have done, it's still bad because I was apparently rude to product by not doing as they asked?
b) Taking too long on that digit separator ticket that amounts to following a gigantic mess of convoluted spaghetti and making a few small changes, and making sure it doesn't break the world because it's all so fucking convoluted and fragile as hell. Let's not even mention my 4-10 hours of mandatory useless meetings every week.
c) Missing something that wasn't even listed in that same ticket -- somehow my fault? -- so I very obviously didn't test my work. Even though specs all passed and QA also tested and signed off on it as working and complete. Clearly half-assed and untested. Product keeps promising/planning UATs and then skipping them, and then has the audacity to complain about it.
d) Not recovering fast enough from burnout and daily mental breakdowns. I can still barely get out of bed and you want me to be super productive? Got it. Guess what? I'm being amazingly productive for my mental health. But my boss, Mr. Happy-go-lucky, thinks depression is dropping your icecream cone on your clean kitchen table, and this three-ton pile of spaghetti is "maybe a little messy, I guess."

So I need to somehow "regain the confidence" of both him and product because I'm taking awhile on difficult tickets (surprise), while having these ridiculous breakdowns (surprise), and because I don't fix things that aren't even listed in the fucking tickets (fucking surprise) -- and worse, that the lack of information is somehow entirely. my. fault. (surprise fucking surprise)

GOD I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

Fuckin hell!!

Code works everywhere except at one client. Ok, I check logs & see something missing.. I go check the code that handles excel files.. try catch and do nothing.. great.. :/ ok let's log this shit to see what is not ok...
Insert logs, build, update, run.. now it freakin works o.O

People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.

Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.

*presents actual proof*

Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!

This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.

😡

Umidigi, kindly go fuck yourself.

When --> I <-- buy a phone, I should be the fucking one who decides if I'm allowed to install a motherfucking custom launcher.

Your phone is awesome (second full day with heavy usage == 53 percent battery) but on the launcher thing, go fuck yourself. Also go to hell. No, go fuck yourself IN hell, that's even better.

I need a vacation.
I’m horribly depressed and burned out, every day for months has been a little harder than the last, and really doing anything at all is a monumental challenge, work or otherwise. Let alone working on the fucking screwdriver.

I told my boss last night and requested time off.

His response?
> Oh no, but the new screwdriver! We were all really really hoping to get it out by the end of the month!

I’m a crumpled wreck and all you care about is the fucking screwdriver that PRACTICALLY NOBODY WILL FUCKING USE? Seriously dude, go to hell.

Dear, Random guy that I wrote you an answer on StackOverflow.

I spent 15 minutes GOOGLING the issue for you because you either were fucking lazy or don't know how to use Google.

I wrote an answer for you on your shitty question with -2 rep explaining how to solve the issue and you just replied thanks and didn't even bother to either upvote or accept my answer. Not only did I solve your question I did it to bloody help you and here you are with your attitude not accepting my answer, and replying with thanks that i feel like you didn't care for me writing your answer. You can bloody hell burn in hell. I hope there is a special place for you and people like you that magically go missing and never come back

I had a boss I hated. Couldn’t stand him. Then I got a call saying my dad had collapsed and was at the hospital. I went into his office and told him I had to go because my dad was in the hospital.

“Why are you telling me?” he said. “Get the hell out of here.”

I looked at him quite differently after that.

Made a web app at work.

Client reported the site crashed​ IE10 when it loaded.

I'm not even sad about it XD

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU REWRITE A FUCKING PIECE OF CODE AND DON'T MAINTAIN ITS FUNCTIONALITY?
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD????

JUST SPENT 1 FUCKING HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK THE DATA WASN'T BEING PASSED TO REDUX STORE!

YEAH, UNIT TESTING SURE IS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT THAT HAS MASHED POTATOES FOR A BRAIN!

GO ROT IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

NOW IF I DON'T FIX THIS SHIT MY ASS IS ON THE LINE BECAUSE I MADE THE FUCKING FUNCTIONALITY THAT YOU BROKE?? NO FUCKING WAY!

I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY BOSS, I'M GONNA GIT BLAME THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF ANYONE PISSES ME OFF!

One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"

"Yeah!,"replies Gates. So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts. "So you like it?"he asks him. "Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.

So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts. "So bill have you made your choice?" "Yes, God. i want to go to hell," "OK then." And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell.

But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever. "Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates. "In hell,"replies god. "But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates. "Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."

- locked my PC and went to launch
- after 30 minutes, enter my password
* all apps and windows are gone and the it's like a new startup of the windows
* notification: windows is up to date now

-- oh go to hell now

Interviewer : So what frameworks and library you usually use?
Me : i use volley for networking, gson for parsing, livedata/architecture components for architecture and observability , room for database and java for app development

I : ok so make this sample app using retrofit for networking, moshi for parsing, mvrx for architecture , rx for observability , sqldelight for db, dagger2 and kotlin for app dev. You have 8 hours

Me :(wtf?) But i never used those libs or language!
I : we just want to check how easily you adapt to different surroundings.

Me : -_-

Honestly i don't know of it was a great experience or a bad one . I was stressed the whole time but was able to adapt to almost all of those libraries and frameworks.
At the end i got selected but decided not to go for those ppl. That was just a lucrative opening of a venus fly trap, they would have stressed the hell out of me

I die, go to hell and my punishment is to write software for hell network that is having power problems due to light source disruptions and is running on Windows 95 on FAT32 without any service pack.

Network speed is trough 300bps dial up modem. Protocol is over IPX/SPX.

My task is to write interactive websites that are replacement of modern websites but in VBScript, ActiveX, IE 4.0.

I have 10 managers that tell me what to do and scream when I miss deadline that is set everyday without my knowledge at random times.

They send me an email and 5 minutes later they arrive at my desk to ask me about it.

I must work 16 hours a day before I can leave the place and if I won’t show up police beats me and escorts me to the office.
If I’m late a second I don’t get payment.
I can’t afford to rent a place so I sleep in the sleeping bag.

It doesn’t matter much cause as soon as I fall asleep phone rings until I wake up and my manager screams about the problems he have for about an hour.

Worst code review experience?

Hard to pick just one, but most were in a big meeting room with 4+ other developers not related to the project and with some playing Monday-Morning-Quarterback instead of offering productive feedback.

In one code review, the department mgr reviewed the code from a third party component library.

<brings up the code on the big screen>
Mgr: "I can't read any of this, its a mix of English and something else."
Me: "Its German."
Mgr: "Then why is 'Button' in English? This code is a mess."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure how I should respond, I mean, I didn't write any of this code."
Mgr: "Yes, but you are using it, so it's fair game for a code review."
Me: "Its not really open source, but we can make requests if you found something that needs to be addressed."
Mgr: "Oh yes, all this...whatever this is..<pointing again to the German>"
Me: "I don't think they will change their code to English just so you can read it."
Mgr: "We paid good money, you bet your ass they'll change it!"
Me: "I think the components were like $30 for the unlimited license. They'll tell us to go to hell first. Is there something about my code you want to talk about?"
Mgr: "<Ugggh>...I guess not, I couldn't get past all that German. Why didn't we go with an American company? Hell, why didn't we just write these components ourselves!?"
Me: "Because you gave a directive that if we found components that saved us time, to put in a request, and you approved the request. The company is American, they probably outsourced or hired German developers. I don't know and not sure why we care."
Mgr: "Security! What if they are sending keystrokes back to their servers!"
Me: "Did you see any http or any network access?"
Mgr: "How could I? The code is in German!"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback1: "If it were me, I would have written the components myself and moved on"
Me: "No, I don't think you could for less than $30"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback2: "Meh...we get paid anyway. Just add the time to the estimate."
Mgr: "Exactly! Why do we even have developers who can't read this mess."
Me: "Oh good Lord! Did anyone review or even look at my code for this review!?"
<silence>
Mgr: "Oh...ok...I guess we're done here. Thanks everyone."
<everyone starts to leave>
Me: "Whoa!...wait a sec..am I supposed to do something?"
Mgr: "Get that company to write their code in English so we can read it. You have their number, call em'...no...wait...give me their number. You keep working, I'll take care of this personally"

In they nicest way possible, the company did tell him to go to hell.

The company got a new office just in time for the "company summit".

I checked out the address on Google maps. It's a cinderblock building with the number spraypainted on the side, a battered cyclone fence in front, a cyclone gate off to the right side (apparently falling off) leading to a random battered shed, and immediately on the left is a dental office with bars on the windows. Also, the fence has spikes on top.

I'm terrified.

*Copies url from bitbucket*
*Switch to Slack on macOS*
*Presses command + v*
Slack: whaaaaaaaaaat :O I'm gonna freeze for few moments to understand what the fuck you just asked me to do

My dad got a new phone over the weekend and asked me to help him set it up (TL;DR his IPhone broke, he likely cussed out someone on the phone and now he's on android).

Setting up his bank app, I asked for his password (I somehow knew asking a 80+ year old man password questions wouldn't end well)

<pulls a card out of his wallet>
Dad: "Here you go."
Me: "This is your business card?"
Dad: "Yep. Password is at the bottom. That way I never forget it."
Me: "Jeez dad, you shouldn't have your bank's password on a business card. You don't give these out to people, do you?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Hell, they won't know what that is. Its just a bunch of nonsense."

Luckily the password didn't work. He had to reset it when his IPhone messed up and didn't remember what he changed the password to.

When a developer says "go to hell"

So this fucktard decided to write the most inefficient way to collect thousands of records.

The system I am working on allows users to book facilities. There is one feature where an admin can generate reports on the bookings made between any two dates. A report for bookings made between January and April generates 7878 records.

So this shithead, after making a call to the server and receiving 7878 records decides to put it through 4 fucking foreach loops (this takes around 44.94 seconds).

After doing that, he passes it to the controller to go through ANOTHER foreach loop to convert those records into a JSON string, using..string..manipulation. (this takes bloody 1 minute and 30 seconds).

Now, my dear, dear supervisor is asking me to fix this saying that there must be a typo somewhere. Typo my arse. This system has been up for more than a year. What have they been doing all this time??? Bloody hell. Fucking idiots everywhere. I now have to refactor
..fucking refactor.

WHAT THE HELL??

It's been over TWO WEEKS now and my Arch sticker pack still has NOT arrived!!!

I'm really starting to get mad now.

Unlike the stickers, my brand new laptop has arrived. But as you might have guessed, it's completely useless at the moment.

Like, what's even the point of having a laptop with Arch, when you can't show everyone else you're using Arch? So humiliating, can't even go in public now with that laptop.

People in the cafeteria will look at the back of my laptop without knowing I'm using Arch. The shame... Almost inhuman.

My only option is to go to speak to everyone individually to tell them I'm using Arch.
However, that might be risky. Imagine if I would miss someone!? They would leave without knowing I was using Arch.

In fact, I might not even meet them EVER AGAIN! In that case they would NEVER know I was on Arch! OMG! TOO MUCH HORROR!!!

All this because of a shity manufacturer.
Manufacturers like this really piss me off.
Because YOU can NOT ship on time I have to WASTE precious time now, THANKS A LOT China Stickers Corporation.

I just had my worst hackathon so far and need to puke my whole toxic hatred, the rant will be full of hate so be warned. (I just don't want to let it go on my girlfriend, but I need to shout it out loud somewhere)

First of all, it is alright to be a beginner at a hackathon. It is also alright to not know that much about coding and want to learn. But it is not alright to lie about your skill, pretend to be a senior programmer and waste my fucking time.

Don't even fucking dare to say your are "fit" in Android development if you just have done some foobar tutorial on YouTube, don't even bother to read the document and have literally non existent knowledge about computer science.

Why the fucking hell do you need to pretend to be a seasoned programmer if you are just a bloody beginner? I mean you are in a hackathon full of computer nerds so soon or later your impostor ass will be debunked so what is the point?

And the other guy. Why the fucking hell did.'t you say that you just begin Python for 3 months? You are not a fucking developer if you just started coding for 3 fucking months. Learn some fucking coding before starting with machine learning you fucking punk ass bitch script kiddie.

Alright, maybe I was too naive to not check my teammates' background before make a team with them. Fuck me and my fucking stupid ass. My dumb ass monkey brain fell for big mouths, I deserved the headache right now and none less.

Lesson learned!

Me: purchases Amazon Fire stick TV

Amazon: thank you for your purchase, we recommend buying a Fire stick TV Lite.

Me: so, you want me to buy the cheaper model of the item I just bought?

Amazon: hell yea, it'll go nicely with your current Fire Stick TV and offer even less functionality,

I’m adding some fucking commas.
It should be trivial, right?
They’re fucking commas. Displayed on a fucking webpage. So fucking hard.

What the fuck is this even? Specifically, what fucking looney morons can write something so fucking complicated it requires following the code path through ten fucking files to see where something gets fucking defined!?

There are seriously so fucking many layers of abstraction that I can’t even tell where the bloody fucking amount transforms from a currency into a string. I’m digging so deep in the codebase now that any change here will break countless other areas. There’s no excuse for this shit.

I have two options:
A) I convert the resulting magically conjured string into a currency again (and of course lose the actual currency, e.g. usd, peso, etc.), or

B) Refactor the code to actually pass around the currency like it’s fucking intended to be, and convert to a string only when displaying. Like it’s fucking intended to be.

Impossible decision here.

If I pick (A) I get yelled at because it’s bloody wrong. “it’s already for display” they’ll say. Except it isn’t. And on top of that, the “legendary” devs who wrote this monstrosity just assumed the currency will always be in USD. If I’m the last person to touch this, I take the blame. Doesn’t matter that “legendary Mr. Apple dev” wrote it this way. (How do I know? It’s not the first time this shit has happened.) So invariably it’ll be up to me to fix anyway.

But if I pick (B) and fix it now, I’ll get yelled at for refactoring their wonderful code, for making this into too big of a problem (again), and for taking on something that’s “just too much for me.” Assholes. My après Taco Bell bathroom experiences look and smell better than this codebase. But seriously, only those two “legendary” devs get to do any real refactoring or make any architecture decisions — despite many of them being horribly flawed. No one else is even close to qualified… and “qualified” apparently means circle jerking it in Silicon Valley with the other better-than-everyone snobs, bragging about themselves and about one another. MojoJojo. “It was terrible, but it fucking worked! It fucking worked!” And “I can’t believe <blah> wanted to fix that thing. No way, this is a piece of history!” Go fuck yourselves.

So sorry I don’t fit in your stupid club.

Oh, and as an pointed, close-at-hand example of their wonderful code? This API call I’m adding commas to (it’s only used by the frontend) uses a json instance variable to store the total, errors, displayed versions of fees/charges (yes they differ because of course they do), etc. … except that variable isn’t even defined anywhere in the class. It’s defined three. fucking. abstraction. layers. in. THREE! AND. That wonderful piece of smelly garbage they’re so proud of can situationally modify all of the other related instance variables like the various charges and fees, so I can’t just keep the original currency around, or even expect the types to remain the same. It’s global variable hell all over again.

Such fucking wonderful code.

I fucking hate this codebase and I hate this fucking company. And I fucking. hate. them.

When I go to hell, I will be fixing Ubuntu driver issues for all of eternity.

Our client decided to save some $$. At the end of each business day teams downscale their environments before leaving and the next day scale them up in the morning to start working.

The idea is not bad, but they are a bit too ignorant to the fact that some environments are exceeding AWS APIs limits already (huge, HUGE accounts, huge environments, each env easily exceeding /26 netmask, not even taking containers into account). Sooo... scaling up might take a while. Take today for example:

- come in to the office at 7
- start scaling up
- have lunch
- ~15:00 scaleup has finished
- one component is not working, escalating respective folks to fix them
- ~17:00 env is ready for work
- 17:01 initiate scaledown process and go home

Sounds like a hell of a productive day!!!

"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*

Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.

FUCK!!!

I honestly don't understand people. They are unable to understand easy to use apps when you provide clearly labeled labels yet they use apps like Snapchat which apart from being the worst designed app I have ever seen (it brings SD820 to knees) is unintuitive as hell with no difficulty. How is this even possible.

Also on a side note, go fuck yourself Snapchat. And if any of Snapchat devs are reading this: " go fucking kill yourself. You don't deserve to live after creating such a piece of shit. Even a fresh out of college intern does better job than you. You think this is good? I have never seen anything worse than it. Even fucking in-house government apps are miles better and more intuitive than you. All your ripoffs from Instagram stories to facebooks new clone and others are better than you. Whoever thinks this POS is good enough deserves to be burnt."

holy fucking hell, who’s dumb ass idea was it to make Visual Studio require a god damn fucking update for the installer before I can uninstall it, you stupid ass dumb fucks MS, I didn’t just tell you uninstall it so you can go burn more data down my shitty copper pipes.

DirectX. Just plainly because DirectX is _used_ and propagated comercially. That lured game developers to it and glued them to Windows.

If I could change something in the past, I'd want to switch Win to Linux as a game platform. There's practically no sane reason to fix yourself to a single platform, especially to Windows. Hell, I'd even go for Mac because it uses OpenGL!

And don't give me that fancy DirectX 12 description you've seen on some Microsoft's or "professional" gaming website. DirectX is evil.

Make your cookies banner have equal "Accept All" and "Reject All" buttons, and I'll probably Accept All.

Bury rejection under a fucking "Manage Cookies" button and I will go out of my way to disable/opt out of every fucking one of them.

Also why the fuck would rejecting all take "a few minutes" but accepting be instantaneous?

Fucking hell.

Our internship and placement tests start from 30th and this is message we got from our coordinators.
😤
(We do have WiFi on campus and in labs ,idk why they aren't letting us use that!!)

They are asking use to use the DONGLES ! who the hell has those, these days !
Uni's response to this : if you can't get your own internet source,then don't give the test. (Translation : we don't give a single flying fuck)

Got my self a Jiofi ,I hope it would work fine.

BUT !!!!!!!!
Often our phones catch no network in the labs ! And if they do,the internet speed is slow.

The tests will go GREAT ! 🙃

Data Engineering cycle of hell:

1) Receive an "beyond urgent" request for a "quick and easy" "one time only" data need.

2) Do it fast using spaghetti code and manual platforms and methods.

3) Go do something else for a time period, until receiving the same request again accompanied by some excuse about "why we need it again just this once"

4) Repeat step 3 until this "only once" process is required to prevent the sun from collapsing into a black hole

5) Repeat steps 1 to 4 until it is impossible to maintain the clusterfuck of hundreds of "quick and simple" processes

6) Require time for refactoring just as a formality, managers will NEVER try to be more efficient if it means that they cannot respond to the latest request (it is called "Panic-Driven Development" or "Crappy Diem" principle)

7) GTFO and let the company collapse onto the next Data Engineering Atlas who happens to wander under the clusterfuck. May his pain end quickly.

1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!

2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.

3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"

4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee

5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro

I had just started as an SDE intern, and was fiddling around with the code base.

Me: Hey, can you send me the link to our version control system?
Mentor: Umm, what!?
Me: You know, where we keep our code backup...
Mentor: Hmm, is there a need for that?
Me: Yeah, I mean, my past experience tells me to always backup code, just in case something goes wrong.
Mentor: Ohh, that's easy. I'll teach you how I do it.

So, he comes to my workplace, and does this:
1. Go to your workspace folder.
2. Right click it.
3. Zip it.
4. Open outlook.
5. Compose email.
6. Attach the zip file.
7. Mail to yourself.
8. That's how it's done!

I was like what the hell!?!?! Is this really happening?? And then he started basking in his glory, as if he had taught me some secret hack! Seeing this, I couldn't even get myself to introduce him to git. That was the worst part.

That moment when you spent an entire day making an awesome webpage (dark themed) and your pm tells you to change almost everything in it because he wants a light-themed website.

Fuck Everyone

(BTW now half the website is dark-themed and other half light-themed because pm doesn't know what he wants)

Pattern I'm noticing...

*email* Hey, can you help me with my code, I don't know why it's not working...*end email*

no comments. if you wrote the shit and don't know what the blazes it's doing, how am i supposed to know what you broke? I'm not a mind reader, I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote the code.

true, I could go through and read it and try to figure it out, but then i'll be cranky and much less likely to want to help you in the future because you're causing unnecessary work, and part of my job is to get you ready for work environments, and I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY FUCKING POWER TO MAKE YOU THE ONE PERSON THAT EVERYONE DOESN'T HATE, BUT I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ME THE HELL OFF.

Found a bug, reported it to the maintainer.
He then tells me to ignore it since no one noticed it (besides me).
I tell him i can't do it since it's just wrong and he can simply fix it.
Turns out he's just lazy as hell and got mad at me, so i go and fix it.
Next day boss is mad at me because i'm wasting time on tasks that it's not of my concern even knowing all my tasks were completed.
Not even a "thank you by the way".
What did i miss here?

I would rather go to hell than goto hell 😛

The type of company that should go to the same room in hell with Facebook.

Had an awesome day at work got so much coding done, made an awesome well documented class for a Countdowntimer class in Android.

Was looking forward to getting home and using my motivation to continue coding my game when I got home.

Then get to the bus stop and it's packed for the Adele concert, I saw a poster okay thats good only buses are packed (I then take a train, I live pretty far from work) I get to the train station and the shittiest system has been setup,

Where people pack on the train that goes to the last stop south for the Adele concert that isn't even near the last stop!

One of the platforms aren't even being used and the trains that got partway south are tiny as hell for the rest of the people that don't want to go to this concert.

For one thing who thought it was a good idea to setup such a shitty system? Why not have one train go straight to the damn concert area and continually use that one platform and for the rest of the people have the trains running as normal?

Nope let's make a shitty system that doesn't work well.

Top it off have concerts on a Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.

Dumbasses.

Now I get to wait in town doing absolutely nothing and losing the little time I have to code on my game.

Android Studio Installation.

What is the fucking point of giving an option to install the software somewhere other than C drive when the installation fails if done so.

Fucking cunts, multi billion dollar company my ass. Go to hell you stupid fucks.

Girl: What major are you studying?
Me: Computer Science.
Girl: Cool. Can you hack my boyfriend's Facebook, I think he's cheating on me.
Me: Go to hell. 😡

The more I use Go, the more i start to like it. I didn’t realize how nice being able to generate binaries for every OS that matters was, until I had that power. It beats the hell out of trying to distribute a Python app for sure.

Sure, it has its warts.

It’s overly bureaucratic in the same way Java is.

I hate that you can’t import something without using it (most people I’d wager preemptively import libraries they know they’re gonna need even if the code isn’t written yet)

I really wish there was a way to just say “See this JSON blob? All those keys and values are strings, trust me, you don’t need me to tell you the type of each one individually.”

Generics would be nice.

I’d kill for exceptions - any decently sized go program is going to have very many if err checks where most could be condensed down to a single try/catch in most other langs.

I wish the tooling was better. Dependency management was a solved problem when Go was released and yet they chose to ship without it. There’s still no standard. Many hours of time have been wasted dinking with this.

But ya know what? Even with those warts, it’s still easier to write than Java. It’s still write once run anywhere, it’s blazing fast, and doesn’t require your end user to install an entire freakin runtime.

<3 Go

... late night coding session ...
... me, tired as hell committing last porting of changes ...
... git refuses my attempt for commit ...
....
$ git vommit -am ........

It's time to go sleep when you vomit instead of commit.

My girlfriend said "Go to the store and buy a carton of milk and if they have eggs, get six."
I came back with 6 cartons of milk. She asked "why in the hell did you buy six cartons of milk?"

"They had eggs"

Some random coworker has been asked to setup tests for the framework written in Java and the GUI is a web app that comes with the framework.

Since he doesn't know any language we work in, he decided he would do it in Python. When I asked him why introduce Python and he replied with "it doesnt matter which language it is because it is going to run on selenium"

I told him to either use Java or Javascript for selenium because when he leaves we should be able to maintain the tests and not first figure out what the hell you wrote in Python

He didnt understand and is going to go with Python anyway

you fucking idiots

why do you always base your library components on some dumbass clown fixed width / height system?

everything should be flex by default, anything else is absolute amateur clown town pile of dumbass horseshit...

...i'll brawl and take down anyone who says otherwise

you waste my time, you waste other's time, when everyone has to go hunting around for your stupid library's unorthodox way of styling

thanks again for wasting and making my evening a living hell

Shitty-Clent-side: Onclick of submit button, send request to server
Server: Responds with a 500 error.
Shitty-Client-Side: change "Submit" to "Submitted" and backgroumd color to green(because UX is important and error handling can go to hell)

Unpopular opinion: Fuck laptops

Even with proper care and monthly maintenance, they're still loud as a vacuum cleaner, and hot as a fucking stove. Yes I know it's a bit hotter these days and maybe mine isn't the latest top of the line model, but even my gf's Inspirion 17R (old I know, but she got one unused) tho relatively quiet, heats up as all hell even when it's on a cooling pad as soon as you try to do anything on it.
Maybe I'm alone on this, but I just think that when it comes to laptops, it's go big or go home. My Desktop PC is a relic of the past, but it still purrs like a fucking kitten, even under heavy loads in this weather

So, today's comedy job story (and how depressive things become), and it's only 9:30.

Stressed PM assaults me at 8 to tell me what I have to do, standing next to me and dictacting stuff she wants done. Hate that.

As I went to a colleague to help her out with these fucking presentations (she "couldn't open them"), as I just arrived to her office my phone rings.

It's my PM. I'm 20m away, she calls me. Ok.

Me: "Yes?"
PM: "Hey Phlisg, erm, we are stuck in a conference room, can you come and open the door?"
Me: "Erm, the door has no handle, can't help"
PM: "Can you call the "housekeeper"?"
Me: "Sure" (why the hell doesn't she have his number...)

I go downstairs, go towards the conference room, and before the door there is the reception office. I ask the colleagues in there if the "housekeeper" is here, but they instead produced the handle from their drawers, and went to the door to open it.

At the same time, a person locked inside the conference room went through the window to go round and try to open the door.

Door successfully opened by colleague with handle.

I mean...

WHAT

THE

FUCK!

You have a problem? One reflex: call Phlisg. She might call me at 2 am in the morning because she cannot sleep or something.

Pissed!!

Seriously, Ubuntu can go burn in hell far as I care.

I've spent the better part of my morning attempting to set it up to run with the correct Nvidia drivers, Cuda and various other packages I need for my ML-Thesis.

After countless random freezes, updates,. Downgrades and god-knows-what, I'm going back to Windows 10 (yes, you read that right). It's not perfect but at least I don't have to battle with my laptop to get it running. The only thing which REALLY bothers me about it is the lack of GPU pass-through, meaning running local docker containers rely solely on the CPU. In itself not a huge issue if only I didn't NEED THE GOD DAMN GPU FOR THE TRAINING

Folks...

I think I need to get away from web development...

Honestly, no grudge held against web/mobile development itsef... But the projects, the teams, the workflows... It's always shitty af.

I'm fed up with the bad architecture, poor management decisions, unmaintained legacy code, broken windows, arrogant juniors, arrogant seniors, code smells left to rot, the freaking red door... Hell! The fucking "we don't have time for that" answer to testing... Damn!

Been there done that.

Feels like it's always the same crap and unfortunately, it's rare to start a professional project from scratch.

Fucking angular, broken piece of shit.
Fucking react (& RN) community modules, broken pieces of shit.
Fucking lazy-ass node developers.
Fucking ES and fucking garbage proposals submitted to the TC39.

I wish I could do Haskell / Rust / Clojure professionally... I could even enjoy Go with a good team... Anything but that huge pile of dogshit JS and its community of brainfucked so-called developers.

Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope

I think that's the thread dump of my brain currently.

Anyone knows what date and time we have?

I'm so lost right now.

17 projects atm thanks to e.g. Microsofts Exchange Hell.

I. Hate. Everything.

Go spread your butt cheeks so I can give you two fists of love before you write a damn ticket regarding yet another (security-) problem in infrastructure.

Fucking hell with the password fields.
Why in the fucking hell you can't tell me what's the max characters count? Why I have to deal with auto-truncated passwords after the fact?
Go eat exquisite shit, peasant punks, pussy cutters.

Being a Programmer:

My mom said:
"Honey, please go to the market and buy 1 bottle of milk. If they have eggs, bring 6"

I came back with 6 bottles of milk.

She said: "Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?"

BECAUSE THEY HAD EGGS!!!!

Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.

Sounds great, no?

It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.

Mhh, coffee...

Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.

THIS FUCKING DEBUGGER IS IGNORING MY FUCKING BREAKPOINTS

GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT

AND RSPEC: FUCK YOUR LIMITED METHOD HIT-COUNTING BULLSHIT! ONE HIT-COUNT PER METHOD FOR THE ENTIRE SPEC IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

FJA;KLGAKLGJFKSDHG

Me: Asking a lot of junior questions
Dev: Stop! Before you ask another question - think for 10 minutes, google another 15 minutes and if you don't find anything - ask me.

^ This was the best thing he said, after that I can google pretty much anything, and hell, I even go to 5-th page of the google from time to time!

Making electronics more difficult to repair with security fasteners and ultrasonically welded plastic nightmares and what have you.. what's the point? The argument from manufacturers is that "users don't want to get in there anyway". But, it's not like even if they could, they'd want to, right? Which type of person that doesn't know electronics very well and has an interest in repairing it would go and look at a board, and say "this is how it works, this and that is broken and this is how it should be repaired"? Not many users can repair their own devices regardless. So why? To preserve IP? Not like the Chinese bootleggers care about that. To preserve sales? Users can't repair their stuff anyway. To keep those who want to peek inside out, just for the hell of it? Anyone determined enough will be willing to break it in the process anyway.

Oh, yes, my dear business owner, we are delighted that you want the app to run perfectly on Android 2.3.3. Also, go to hell.

!Dev

A bit random but I'm just really anrgy

Why the fuck. Why do mosquitoes have to exist. Fucking go outside in certain places for 5 minutes and these spawns of Satan suck me dry.

I swear these things have all come through a portal straight from hell.

And then its gotta itch like fucking mad for the next days, driving me straight up insane.

I'll be glad when I get back to my place. Climate might be cold and raining a large part of the year but fuck that's so much better than fucking getting poked by these fuckers this much again.

At work the other day...

Guy: "Oh hey I was thinking if you could help me with an application to visualize some data."

Me: "Ooookay...what did you have in mind?"

Guy: "I think we have XML files that could be turned into graphs...oh and we could add some trend lines. (Getting more excited) And maybe we could supplement it with live data...oh hey and maybe we could add real time alerts via email..."

Me: *thinks to self...there is no way in hell I am starting to work on something that he is literally coming up with requirements as he's talking* "I need specifics...so go take some time, think it through and get back to me with concrete details and examples."

Guy: "Ok. That should be enough to get you started for now at least."

That would be a big fuck no, good sir. Haven't started and won't start it. He has never mentioned it to me again since then.

So, I'm investigating this flipping problem at work involving mbeans. Other than the fact that it's a fun fucking word to say, idk a damn thing about it, and the people who are having problems with them/it are looking at me like I'm a fucking pregnant triceratops... HOW THE HELL am I supposed to fix your shit if you aren't going to tell me why you need mbeans, what you do to cause the error, and what you do to make it go away. YOU'RE GIVING ME LESS THAN NOTHING... on a temperature scale, we're in negative Kelvin...

Also, anyone know what in the world an mbean in? Because right now, these overpaid idiots are making me think it's not a thing and just another way of saying "coffee"

Go to fucking hell SO!

Question: "How to do X?"
Answer: "You can solve your particular problem without doing X."

God fucking damnit, yeah some noob tried to use X to solve a completely unrelated problem and thank god somebody pointed out a better solution. But since all other questions about doing X are labelled as duplicates of this question, could you dickheads at least provide an actual answer to the question instead of an answer which only works for that particular problem and has nothing to do with X?

I did a thing! Also, Magento can go to hell.

So, CS student here.
Gave TCS "national" level test.
Quoting from the question:
"if you have 3 bytes of memory, it can be used to represent 2^3=8 values in the memory"

This test is a waste of at least 30000+ human hours and these guys didn't even put 24 hours of effort to make sure questions are correct.
Fuck this fucking IT industry.
Fuck the people who designed this testing process.
Fuck the people who endorsed this process.
Fuck the management for passing it as a test.
The people who wrote the test question can go die in hell.
It's not my problem that their mothers fucked Neanderthals.

Uh! All I want is a job but ended up wasting 200+ hours of time.

Swear to god, I'm worse than a cat.. my fascination & curiosity will get me killed someday.. o.O

12:19 - Magnitude 6,4 earthquake 3 km from Petrinja, Croatia..

Felt it in Ljubljana..and my stupid ass was fascinated.. :/

Yup, you read it right, not scared or whatever the hell should people feel when earthquake happens..just fascinated..and curios...and in full analysis mode..

Oh tremors?! Yup, something's definitely shaking.. Eartquake? Yup, earthquake! Woow, huge earthquake.. Where is epicenter?! Also long one.. nice, never felt it like this before.. hm.. x, should we go out? How?! I know an elevator is a no go, stairs also do not look promising..better stay in I guess.. hm..still going...feels weird.. Ok, look for shelter I guess.. wow..that's a long one.. ok, doorways should be safe-ish?! Where's x? He went silent..go check up on x.. x is fine, he's not stupid like me, and unlike me also has preservation instinct to not stand under the doorway that has glass components in it.. DumbAss.. Shaking stops... Well that was weird..also I didn't have time to analyze everything..or record it! Stoopid! How did I not think of this before?! Recording would be awesome!! shame..

I know panic doesn't help anyone, but FFS, sometimes I do wish my head would panic at least for a second instead of trying to analyze everything..

I mean, WTF is wrong with me?! Most people would be scared, I just estimated that it's not that dangerous for us and no use/not smart to try to go out of the building so I just took shelter (not a good one, I know now for next time?! o.O what next time?!idiot!!) and started observing.. DumbAss.. :/

!rant

TLDR; Lost passion after a few years, wasted a year, went on vacation without really any technology, found my passion and am excited as hell for 2019.

After programming for nearly 5 years, I’ve hit the point of not wanting to program anymore. I’ve burnt myself out, and haven’t had a vacation in 8+ years so we’ve finally decided to take one. I’m not going to say it’s a full blown vacation, but a semi-vacation since it’s with my parents also so I do have to do a few things I’d prefer not to such as meeting relatives.

I didn’t have the motivation to work on any new projects, finish any projects I actually enjoyed, I just did a few side projects for friends that took me anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes every few weeks. In general this year has been garbage in development terms, I’ve lost passion. It felt like a chore, I didn’t find the entertainment I once did.

I’ve been away from technology for about 2 weeks now, and have less than a week left before I fly back and I’m excited as hell. During this break away from technology (with the exception of browsing devRant once in a while), has me excited to work on many projects and actually start learning and improving my skills. I’ve actually gained the motivation to work on 2 projects that have been planned for nearly 2 years now, I’ve noted down ideas for them, made diagrams, etc, just never had the passion to develop them. 2019 is going to be one hell of a year, since I get back almost at the end of November, and December I have a few business meetings and University exams that I have to prepare for. Excited to see these projects through, one is going to be for the hell of it, just been a passion project I’ve wanted to do for years now. The other project is actually a project for one of my sub-companies that hasn’t officially released since I didn’t have the passion to work on it. (Not going to go into full detail yet about the companies/projects, going to save that for the future)

Alongside that, I’m excited since my main company that is totally unrelated to technology, is set to do some massive moves during 2019 also. Looking forward to that, and being able to launch my dream company (the sub-company I mentioned before).

Time for sleep now, goodnight! (Wrote this after a few drinks and in the middle of the night, hopefully it’s not full blown garbage)

While working on my localization algorithm, I also set up a baseline I can compare my results to. I chose AMCL which is the go-to localization package everyone uses in ROS.
I took a peek at their code and found this atrocity - "ad hoc weighting scheme" where probabilities that are not mutually exclusive are added together, and also taken to the power of 3 because why the hell not!

To this day I still don't know how the hell Nvidia makes some of the most powerful graphics cards available, yet manages to somehow also write the shittiest software among them. Somehow not only their control panel application takes an eternity to start, their context menu option makes that run like trash, and even Windows Explorer doesn't go unaffected.

But the solution as always: throw more hardware at it. Maybe that's why they make such powerful cards.

Go is fast they said, Go is lightweight they said.

package main

import "fmt"

func main() {
var nums []int
for i := 10; i > 0; i++ {
nums = append(nums, i)
i--
}
fmt.Println(nums)
}

# htop
| PID | USER | VIRT | %CPU | %MEM
| 12048 | root | 16.9g | 101.3 | 94.2

WTF is eating my resources to hell and.... oh... oh im a dickhead!

Go to hell...
Developer version

Dashing through the snow
Get the fuck out of my way
You are all so slow
and fat, what do you weigh?
HA HA !!
I'll end your caroling
but It won't be a silent night
I've come to terrorize your town
and watch you die tonight
Jingle Bells
Go to hell
I've hijacked Santa's sleigh
Oh what fun it is to ride over bodies every day
HEY !!
Jingle Bells
Go to hell
Bodies will decay
after you're all crushed beneath my motherfucking sleigh
HEY !!

Credits: Insanity Wold

The subtle way of saying "Go to hell" :\

When will medium and its coding tutorials die out already? Why the hell are every fucking post of this plattform so cringy af, like tf why you start your tutorial with a fucking irrelevant meme you dumb asshole? Your code snippet is mostly garbage and you aint explain shit; I am not even sure if the code is yours. Go eat a dick and learn the subject properly before even start to teach people online.

Gradle can go to hell!

PHP developers will be amongst the first souls to get into heaven because of all their suffering.

But let’s face it, most of them will go to hell for the atrocities they’ve committed against humanity.

I fucked up.

In my career, colleagues always looked up to me to solve everything. From day 1.
Hell, I have nicknames; « The Dad », « Machine », « The Beard »... when I meet a new group of devs at the bar they use those nicknames even if I have no clue who they are.

Result? I'm not allowed to fail and even if I do and try to take responsibility, no one ever blame me.

They see me as a fucking zen programming monk, all wise, patient and kind.

Oh boy here we go. I screw things up all the time and can never let go the guilt since I'm not allowed to take responsibility of my mistakes.

Once again I wake up after a night of stress working, trying to overcome analysis paralysis. I'm late. Supposed to have meetings with some fucking PHDs, fueling my imposter syndrome.

Can't even learn anything in those conditions.

Fuck they should call me the fraud.

Gotta love Linux!

Wanted to install Arch on my Rasperry PI yesterday, but don't have a cardreader on my PC. Still had an SD with a different distro (RasPlex) lying around. Popped that in, connected power and ethernet only, looked up the default SSH credentials and got to a blinking terminal on my desktop PC.
Well, how am I gonna format my microSD? Rasplex comes without fdisk, and I booted it from the only microSD slot.
Well, here we go - Extracted arch to a usb thumb drive, chrooted into it, switched microSD cards, partitioned and formatted it from the USB-Arch, installed Arch on it, chrooted from Arch to Arch (😁), set up drivers, network and ssh access, rebooted to my why-the-hell-not distro.

Everything worked!

Boi did I forget what a horror is to deal with Wndows...

I just wanted to shutdown a laptop to replace the SSD and a wifi card. Prepared everything, clicked on the [start] and there were only "Update and *" options. Wha the hell I thought, I could spare a few minutes. It's just a software update - should not take long!

Little did I know...
That was 45 minutes ago and It's still shutting down. And I'm just sitting with that screwdrived in my hand, looking at that blue screen and waiting. I feel stupid

UPDATE: I gave up. Long-pressed the POWER button. que sera, sera, right?

Lights go out. I press POWER again to boot it back up (forgot to save smth else). And it boots up back to the "SHUTTING fucking DOWN" AGAIN!!!

I am tired of my idiot ‘friends’ asking me if I can hack Facebook Instagram etc. because some other idiot made them mad. Like fuck no. 1 it’s unethical as hell 2 it’s illegal I don’t want to go to jail. 3 I’m learning cyber security NOT hack stuff because someone hurt your useless feelings.

Ohhh and they always get pissed off when I explain everything wrong with their idiotic request

New office saga continues

We had 2 days on induction and these guys hired a 19 year old intern for the HR department.

Yes, the worst possible combination.

In last two days she made our life hell. Insufferable human being.

How can a person be so annoying?!

It was so tempting to roast her, but then I had to control my instincts so as to not get a warning during my first two days.

Not saying that everyone is bad and there surely exist great people, but wide majority of Gen Z makes me go nuts and that is all what is wrong with corporate world, old wine and fresh blood overlapping.

We are headed towards self destruction, buckle up your seat belts.

I wanna meet the dumbass that decided it was a good idea to teach scratch, basic, java, or even python as a first programming language course in college.

I’m so sick of seeing developers out of with shitty code structure and practices, and absolutely no understanding of what is going on behind the scenes of the IDE when you push run.

In order to be a good engineer you MUST know the basics, the root level, bare bones, bare metal shit.

I fear the future, less and less software engineers are comming out of colleges, the majority today is script kiddies, and folks with some basic java experience.

Who the hell is going to be writing firmware in the future then?

It’s insane the lack of foundational skills these students get in college. If they would get a strong foundation in C, and C++ they can easily attack at problem in any language, but missing the foundation, and relying on IDEs.. you will never be-able to go from a knowing only a high level languages and scripts to Lower level problems.

RIP the future of Software Engineering
Welcome to the hell full of script kiddies

Did you say "go to hell" to your project manager?
No, i would not use gogo.
So what's it with you and him?
I think he implements IDisposable.

Finally!
Got my Minecraft server running inside Docker to properly stream logs through Go to this shitty web interface. Fucking hell I didn't think this would be so fucking complicated!

Edit: Forgot the image :)

Once we got an urgent requirement to add double hashing the password in a web application. It had to go to the production ASAP. The developer which was working on it, added 2 alerts in Javascript to display entered password and encrypted password. Finally change was ready to deploy but in hurry she forgot to remove the alerts. In rush and excitement, that change was shipped to the production. The alert says 'your password is 123', 'your password is xyz'.

After some time got phone calls from users and manager. Manager said, 'how the hell our application got HACKED? If anything happens to..........'. To cut it short, he was furious. We knew exact reason and solution. Didn't take couple of minutes to resolve this issue.

But it was funny mistake and that released that days pressure off.

Finally, I can play around with a proper server.
HP ProLiant DL380 G6 = dual 8-core Xenons @ 2.4GHz with 32GB RAM and 12TB / RAID1-0 of WD Purples (we happened to have them for some reason).
Already pissed at HP because they don't support JBOD and already pissed at myself for using CentOS, but other than that, enjoying the hell out of it!

And it's ALL MINE! ... Well, technically it's the org's, but it won't go into production for half a year and I'm the only one with the root access so, for now, it's MINE! 😅

Just because YOU can't seem to get a grasp on the language doesn't mean the language inherently sucks and that literally the entire rest of the world is crazy for using it. It won because it's Good Enough(tm) and that's all it ever needed to be (and many of the things you see as flaws are actually big parts of what makes it exactly that).

Like, I'm not gonna go out of my way to defend a damn programming language 'cause that just feels stupid... but your constant bitching about it is tiring as hell, ESPECIALLY when the complaints you constantly state clearly indicate that you just don't have a solid grasp of it.

So, the answer isn't for everyone else to "wake up to how shitty it is", it's for YOU to either expend the calories to understand it, or simply shut the fuck up with your constant whining about it. I'm good either way, but pick one already!

FUCK YOU Visual Studio, didn't you ever hear about asynchronous behavior? like WHY THE HELL you have to freeze every single thing to complete a shitty task, I just need to copy/open file..

Microsoft, Xamarin, and MAC Agent.. WHAT FUCKING POSSIBLY COULD GO WRONG.

{AND NO, MY LAPTOP IS NOT SHIT, this happens only with shitual studio}

So I titan Lannister, first of my name, a 21 yr old only child of super extra over protective middle class parents; with 0 social interaction and level 1000 introvert geeky nature, has made up my mind and gathered courage to go on a 3 day event in another state , with no known persons there or by my side, completely on my own.

I am excited as well as hell of scared. I always wanted to teavel places and meet people, but don't had courage to talk to even my coworker girl on the opposite table, leave alone meeting ppl or going out.

Please share your first time alone journey stories , or anything else that i should be aware of

Hurricanes that start with the letter F can go fuck themselves.

Fran - 1996
Floyd - 1999
Florence - 2018

All 3 hit (well Florence hasn't hit yet, but it's fixing to) NC and did significant damage.

I wanted a few days off from classes, but not like this man. Fucking hell I hope it doesn't take the power out for too long or destroy anything important (like people).

I am turning 16 in 3 months and I want to start freelancing then. I want to earn money and get some experience .

I will still go to school until I have my a levels so I can go to university later.

Do you have any advice for an absolute freelancing beginner? I will probably make websites with HTML and CSS (of course, what the hell else) and react. Nodejs and mongodb for the Backend.

What should I do in these 3 months to prepare myself?

I want to build a portfolio website and learn more about node, especially how to do safe authentication in these 3 months, anything else? Also which websites would you recommend me?

FUCK Internet Explorer

Just fuck it

Go die in a fire and burn the ashes, you outdated, flea-infested, psychopathic bastard. Then drown in your own grave and go to hell.

University, first Java practical lesson.

I'm sitting near this guy, clearly hyped up because he managed to install his first linux distro earlier.

After 5 minutes he asks me how to do the task the Professor assigned that morning.

I'm playing dumbass in my head, thinking stuff like "oh big boy installed ubuntu but can't declare a fucking Rectangle class in java lol" (what a dickhead).

I helped him, and then proposed to go out for a quick smoke.

Turns out we're very similar, hyped as hell with linux (like I was at the time), with same CS interests. Still texting sometimes.

My most intense day was in the company at the day we had to publish a website containing lots of jQuery & CSS animated stuff.
We planned to go live at 3pm but due to the fact that before lunch time there began to appear more and more styling and animation problems, we went live at around 9pm. I was sweating and nervous as hell the whole time.
At least my boss and I went to drink a few beers right after that. ;)

Importing modules in python is the biggest shit i have done in my life. ALWAYS SOMETHING IS NOT FOUND. I have no fuckin clue who came up with this shit. I fuckin hate python for that so so much
EASY LANGUAGE GO TO HELL

I started learning Golang today and really like it.

The error handling is *excellent*. It always works the same way and is standardized, unlike the hell that NodeJS error handling is (.catch(), try).

Modules confused the fuck out of me. I eventually figured out how they worked, but Go really doesn't try to make it easy to have multiple source folders...

I'll probably be re-writing my Discord Bot in Golang soon. Being able to have just one binary output will make things infinitely easier. Compile-time variables are another feature that's nice and easy to implement.

The goal is only having to upload a single binary to deploy on production from my CI script that has all keys and stuff inside. Feels good to finally throw all that old bad JS code out and starting completely fresh.

Let's try this.

In the project I'm working there is an strict rule : NO COMMENTS!!!

I mean wth, the times I've spend hours trying to understand the crappy legacy code in VB.Net that has been there almost decades, that wouldn't happen with comments, I know i know there are some supernatural developers that think in binary and their eyes work as compilers, but I'm not like that, so seriously go to hell.

P.S. Of course I follow that rule, after all, my code is so damn perfect that even a baby can understand it.

jk

Me: ok let's clone my repo and work on adding some legit features!
NBN: hm, I see you're trying to use the internet, I think I'll go down now!

Fucking hell -,-

!dev
What I feared is happening.
I will barely see my gf for some time (until summer).

I just feel like crying, wanting to do a lot of things with her, barely getting to do so.
On one hand, I have a gf, on the other hand, fuck my life for worsening good things that happen to me.

P. S. if any of you fuckers unironically complain about the fact that I have a girlfriend (and you don't), go to hell

Customer: We wanna add this thing to that feature. It has to go live with the next deployment (1 1/2 weeks to go)
Me estimating developmenttime, and informing the Management
management: this will take approx. 12h to implement, but we need these informations: [long list of not answered questions]

1 week later (1/2 week left till deployment
customer: okay, lets do it
management: we dont have much time left, what about the questions i sent you?

1 Day no response, 1 1/2 days left until deployment

customer: here you have a few answers. couldnt get the others. ill Send them tomorrow

damn... wtf? guys! i need this shit to Stay in time! cant wait another day! hell no!

Go to hell
Go directly to hell a bit early
Do not pass go
Do not collect 200 dollars

my day went to shit immediately... long night, got to sleep at 4AM, poked awake at 8AM, "hey wake up we gotta go to a town 200 miles away, dress like you're rich, we gotta go find a place to live for my new job" ugh, fine, got another 30 minutes or so of sleep in the car. We get there, the guy shows us a place that I physically can't fully stand up in and is like 600-some square feet for $750/month. Fuck that. We get halfway back home, "hey i forgot, we just finished renovating a new unit, come look!" goddammit gotta go BACK to the city... get there, it's a 2-floor 1200 square foot place for $675, a hell of a lot better. We leave to go see relatives in town, get a call, "hey hurry home your grandfather's hallucinating" we get there before an ambulance (we traveled 120 miles in less time than an ambulance took to drive 50 miles...) and my grandfather's hauled (by us, as the ambulance refuses to take him to the right hospital, they want to take him OUT OF STATE in an ambulance and he's not actively dying) to the VA in the city we were just in... he's immediately screened and his dementia has progressed to the point he needs to be in a nursing home in 12 hours somehow. I have no idea either. Anyways, we're about 3/4 of the way back home and it's now 2:40AM. My dad's been driving for 18 hours pretty much straight. I'm still awake, he's wired (the worst possible state to be in while driving) and family drama has happened as family members are already trying to take the land my grandpa lived on AND HE'S LITERALLY ONLY BEEN GONE FOR 6 HOURS.

so how was your day?

Yes, I have to admit, sometimes Linux is a F*KING B*TCH.

I was supposed to fucking format a pc for a close friend of mine, cause he produces music and win 10 fucked his machine up with its broken updates.

Knowing the guy is a talent I promised that by 7PM the pc would be fixed.

Not really, I'm feeling the stupidest guy in this fucking earth, cause I've been here for 2 hours, fucking trying to extract an ISO image, and nothing on this fucking planet seems to work.

Tried the graphical archives, none open de ISO, tried 7z, it gives me an error, tried fuseiso, which is recommended in Arch Linux' documentations. Doesn't work. Tried mount - o my file.iso /mnt and it says /mnt isn't in the fstab file which makes me even angrier cause I always mount everything there without editing shit. So I installed 7-zip for windows in wine, it extracts until 90% and freezes. Now I'm trying hsuebrirbwkwpxjhw9shrbejejwke and my mouth is foaming and my ear is bleeding my brains out and I don't need you shit.

Fuck you, Fuck your goddamn ISO and Fuck this faggot ass spell checker, that changes Fuck to duck and assign to asset.

Fuck it, I ain't gonna format anyones pm anymore.

Why won't you just approve my PR???

Whats wrong with you?!

I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.

What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!

Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!

The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!

/endrant

Fucking hell. When you go to bed sorta early, but can't stop thinking about your latest project for some fucking reason. So you wake up hours later STILL thinking about it, thus you aren't even sure if you slept at all. Doesn't feel like it. What the fuck? Programming, are you my goddamn love interest or what? Anyone knows the feeling?

Incident of my colleague, who is really hard-working but ain't so smart strategically.

So this morning the entire team connected to discuss the status or criticalll points.

When my colleagues turn came, she delivered a monologue for 15 minutes straight and was still going strong.

(Fucking hell, I couldn't stop laughing while typing this).

My TPM had to interrupt her, and the way he did is even funnier, to discuss few points.

I was the only one on video and I just couldn't resist laughing at the entire situation.

How the fuck can someone talk non-stop for 15 minutes without being breathless and still can go for another round.

Hahahaha it was hilarious.

I want to pause my music so I can focus, but I have two co-workers right next to me who are working in a problem. I could take my laptop somewhere else, but I would rather they just shut the hell up, or go book a damn conference room.

I could just say that .. or just be lazy and post about it on dev rant. 😅

Also, fuck open workspaces. I never though I'd miss the cubical, but the open work space is a new level of hell.

Was helping an intern with testing and he was trying to hit a specific branch in the code and just couldn't get there. Spent probably 20 minutes trying to figure out what the hell was going on since by all reasonable logic the code should run. Getting other developers involved trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Then discovering he was using a stub of the class with the method we were trying to reach overwritten to simply return null. Pretty much just wanted to go on a walk at that point.

When your company is sinking, and you keep suggesting to pivot, trying something new or different enough, having some meeting to think about new levers to increase revenue... and the only answer is "we don't have enough time for this. Let's try tweaking <insert random feature here>".

WE ARE LOSING 30.000€+ EACH MONTH!!! WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT CHANGING THIS FEATURE NOW!!!

Today it's been more than 7 months since "we don't have enough time". Still nothing intelligent has been tried. The company could be closed down in 2 month. FUCK YA ALL decision makers!

Now I'll probably lose my job just because you're too fucking stupid to get your finger out of your ass! The company is in the exact same state since 7 months!!! Go burn in hell!

I've been using Firefox focus for a while, and for the most part, I like it. But why the hell won't it let me go to government websites (taxes, passports, etc)?

Regular Firefox has no issues with it, why does focus?

!Rant
Awesomeness ensues!!!!!

I finally quit my day job at the place I was working to finally go full time with my business, TerraNimbus. I was able to secure a small loan to cover business and personal expenses until I can drum up enough business to keep things a float.

I’m super fucking stoked because I’ve been wanting to branch out and do this for about 4 years now and finally feel like I have the right pieces in play to make it work. I’m as nervous as hell but so fucking excited too!

I just needed to share this here cause the DevRant community is world class and you guys/gals are fucking killing it everyday being AWESOME!!! And you all feel like extended family members to me all going through the motions in each of your lives and keeping ‘in touch’ through devRant on a daily basis. So I wanted to share my story with everyone here.

After drilling yourself with links and resources, documentation and cant execute what you want. You leave it.

Some time later you go back and you are like why the hell didnt I understand this it's so simple :/ and it literally says what to do.

This is when I became a calm developer. Don't rush yourself. If you want to quickly do something. READ dont just look 🙃

Also, don't persist with understand the official docs. The third party explanations will show you flames 80% of the times if you are learning something new.

So, there was this guy where i worked, who was doing some freelancing.

He asked me to do some front-end stuff for him and i said ok.

After some gigs, my boss found out about him working as a freelancer and got really pissed, because, according to him, it was forbidden by company policies (though i never saw it on contract).

After that, the boss started talking to me about shit that the guy did on the past, like stealing, liying about been sick for months, bad mouth the entire company to others companys, etc. Some really bad shit.

End of the story, the company fired that guy, threatened to do the same to me, made me go on record about that shit in court, and that fucking motherfucker didnt even payd me for my last work.

I hope he rot in hell, fucking piece of shit.

Sorry for the long text, but (today) i find it as amusing story.

A little and sweet rant about RANTS! What the hell guys, I can finally think about a social network happily, but I have the feeling that I'm not a part of this awesome community :'( I mean, everyone is getting problem with some clients or whatever. But I'm currently unemployed, and never really get through that kind of problems. Ok they lied to me on the job, ok I paid 15000 euros 2 years of school where there were still people who doesn't care about the work, ok I left my girlfriend, ok I have a fucking hard time to go back to work with that... But all of this is not really juicy, my life is simple and mostly happy :'(
Maybe I should hope that my next job will be with stupid people :o
I love you guys <3

In the 10th circle of Hell, we find those developers whose UI components move just as you're about to click/tap them.

Amongst other things, these accursed souls find that, when they go to sit down on the bog, a millisecond before their arse makes contact, the whole bathroom inexplicably moves 14 inches to the left so they actually sit on the handle of the brush.

Or they go to open a door, and just as their fingers are about to touch the handle, the handle is magically replaced by a live wolverine.

Oh so you have a merge conflict this weekend? The only time of the week I try not to think of ripping your nob off, tying a noose around your neck with it and drowning you in a well full of piranhas? Right, right...

How about you take that dick that you've been trying to locate since you were 5 and practice choking on it every day till you die just so you have enough experience to suck demon dongs in hell for eterniity! I seriously hope you die of cancer you fucking wankstain!

How about you go home and keep disappointing that whore of a wife of yours, you know that stinking pile of shit that you stick your dick in every two weeks?

Your Thunderbird inbox file is 8GB and you complain about the speed but still, when I fucking ask you if you want me to archive for you the fucking mails, I get a "Hell no, I don't like them archived because then they are difficult to find"... go to fuck off.

Supervisor: Go interview the client for requirements
Client:i want insert,update blablabla and searching,
Me: Delete?
Client:Nope we want store the data blablabla forever..
*after few weeks*
Supervisor:Can i see the progress?
Me: sure
Supervisor: where is the delete function? I want the delete button !!
Me: :/ *why the hell i hav to meet the client if i need to fllow my supervisor requirements*

#PracticalStudent #Internship #Confusing

So, I was making a sort of "pre-autumn-cleaning" on some of my accounts (changing passwords, secret answers, canceling accounts/subscriptions, etc), when I arrive to devRant and go to the settings option just to found these options...

So... Really ಠ_ಠ? "Logout" and "Delete Account" are the only settings available via web browser?

I know that I can't expect the full range of settings that are present on the mobile app, but what the hell, I was expecting a little more than that...

College Senior Thesis is done. Wrote the whole fucker as a Spring Boot Microserivce and my brain is fucking jello after 4 straight months of work.

I need something lightweight, I need something fun to code as I wind down at the end of the year.
I think I'll play around with Node.js and Typescript and learn about this docker thing people keep talking about before I go back to Java exception hell.

I'm not ready to be a Jr Dev next year. I'm too young to work this kind of job for the next 40 years.

FUCK Banks

Fuck Banks and fuck online Banking

Fuck you for not supporting real 2FA
Fuck you for having such shitty bloated bullshit Websites and online services
Fuck you for taking forever to transfer money
Fuck you for not having public APIs Fuck you for so many uncountable reasons.

And most of all Fuck you for constantly trying to fuck me. I FUCKING HATE BANKS SO FUCKING MUCH.

I hope so much that there'll be a decentralised uncontrollable anonymous and digital currency in the future. Something like Cryptos (like BTC or ETH) but without all the major Problems they have now.

I wish there was a hell Banks could go to. I want to see them burn and suffer so fucking much not even the worst medieval torture methods are enough to satisfy me.

Anyone who says 'Docker is easy" should burn in hell.

Sure, It took me 5 minutes to run my project in docker container

Took another 25 to run multipl;e comntainers via compose

Now, 3 hours later, can't run compose from multiple Visual Studio solutions. Says "Pull failed"

No doc. No examples. No nothing.

I'll try for another hour or so, if not, fuck that docker shit. I'll go to Service fabric.

Any IDE that doesn't go to the end of line when you press the down arrow key on the last line of the file, should be burned with hell fire.

I'm done fighting with my professor over my thesis project. They want me to go slower in building my project and we only have 7 weeks to deployment. Well screw you how in the hell do you expect me to prototype, build, bug fix and deploy all this and go SLOWER. YOU AREN'T AIMING TO BE A CAREER DEVELOPER ARE YOU?

I feel really sick this morning. Between the anxiety of graduating soon and my debt...

I just want live for myself. Not the sake of a school or some corporate entity. When this is over I want to work overseas in Europe. Do something for myself for once.

Fucking cocksucker, I shut my macbook down at home, go to college and BAM the FUCKING THING WONT START ANYMORE
LIKE WTF IT HAS BEEN 15 MINUTES BETWEEN WORKING FINE AND NOT WORKING AT ALL FUCKING PIECE OF UTTER SHIT

Now I probably have to reinstall and all that fucking hell,

(ps its en encrypted drive installation so I can log in see the progress bar and then it shuts down)

Anecdote from when I used to be an apprentice:
Setting: Small company, number of employees -> ε, direct superior is the founder and owner, no tech background

Boss: I've looked at this backup directory of the ERP /* why is he even going through that stuff?*/, it looks messy as hell, I want you to tidy that up
Me: Those are incremental backups, I can't just go and delete some of them, the application manages them by itself
Boss: Get it tidy!

Why the hell do we always have to go into the settings to set a sleep timer in Google Play Music... Can't Google just put a button in the menu where the song is playing.....
Also you can't open the left panel from main music page coz it causes the song to change....

PS: My First Rant

Hell yea, gotta finish my prep project for my bachelor's thesis so I've been coding every day since the beginning of the holidays.

To be perfectly honest with you I love it! It's like a 9-5 job, no classes at uni, just work and coffee breaks and I even got to go back to my parent's house for two weeks which is wonderful.

I wish that uni could always be like that though, gotta make the most of those two weeks

Writing my code, go to run it and boom its not working. I pull up stack over flow to get some insight. At this point i was working on my code for countless hours and became a bit annoyed so i decided to copy what someone wrote on stack over flow delete my code where i thought it was flawed. I run it and Blam bugged the hell outa my code. So i undo go back to my original. Turn to a friend and ask what do you thinks going wrong. He resets my browser and there it goes it works. I just kind of gave him a blank stare and thought to myself Im a dumbass!

Well the company I work for was too cheap to buy a new Graphics Card so we got an old graphics card (nvidia) and had to install it with working drivers

We checked and the drivers were End Of Live since I think 2015 or 2011 so we downgraded the hell out of ubuntu 20.04 Kernel, Compilers and the driver installation still failed We had to get the gcc 7.2 but there wasn't any PPA's available with this anymore and the installation still failed without giving proper error message 11 Hours later we decided to go home

The next day we got an Email we wasted time and money of the company

but we were asked to do this.... (two working students getting minimum wage)

I took a certification test today that has an accumulative checkpoint score every 15 questions. I needed a 74 to pass the test... Here is a rough timeline of checkpoint scores and my thoughts:

64 - rough start I can recover
71 - OK, still failing but at least the score went up
63 - what the hell??
67 - OMG I am failing this test.
71 - You know, I don't need this job. I can find plenty of other work.
71 - This fucking test is brutal and I hate everyone. OMFG I only have an hour left!

Queue total internal meltdown. My job really depends on this certification.

73 - screw it. I failed. I am guessing from here on out.
77 - Holy shit I have a chance!! Only 25 questions to go. DONT SCREW THIS UP!
77 - YESSSSS My score didn't go down. 10 questions to go.
76 - Holy shit. After 6 month of studying, I passed the most brutal test of my life. ..... Barely.

When your boss doesn't appreciate your ideas and tells you to "go to hell". The worst part of his statement was "go to" :|

Well. I'm simply SO UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE PISSED RIGHT NOW!! {>,,,<}

I'm implementing a monolithic frontend that embeds different projects which I don't want to alter if not really necessary. So I put them all into iframes, already handled all the security and auth stuff with proxies and so on and now I just want to access the body.scrollHeight property. Which is not even the probelm at all.

The fucking Problem is, that I just can't find a way to hook into any event which fires when all content is loaded and the final scrollHeight is set. Instead it just returns some default value that is set when the iframe element is loaded, but not something that is actually based on it's damn ass-fucking contents!!

Iframes are fucking pricks and I know I'll gonna go to hell for abusing them like this :S

Once I told a good friend that I will make a website for his business. I do all IT stuff he only has to do the content. Halfway done with the site I asked if he has written anything. He had not. Then a week later I asked again. He had nothing. So I sat down with him and helped him write what he does and why people should go to him. Then I told him to ask a mutual photographer friend to take pictures for him. A week went by when I asked him if he has contacted the guy. He had not. Then I was like: "Dude! If you are not willing to put any effort into making this happen then why the hell should I?"

In the end he didn't do anything. And that's the story of my friend never getting a free website.
The End.

@Gilles had a similar rant and reminded me of a story...

As a kid I learned QBasic. Moved to VB5 and later VB6. Because of this 'knowledge', I was the one who had to maintain legacy applications at my previous job. All of those applications were in use at various banks. On first work day in 2011 all hell broke loose - no date input control would accept the date anymore. I quickly discovered that the max year on date inputs was set to 2010. Later, I was told that nobody expected these applications would still be used in 2010 so they entered it as a distant future number. The funny part was that one bank was still running apps written in VB3 and I had to go back to basics. Didn't even know how to edit basic controls in that interface :D

Good times :)

Do I go to object-oriented hell?
Edit: sc and cc are now unset in Connect

I honestly can't remember what the hell was wrong with me when I configured my laptop. Now I am stuck with a very decent laptop with a 200something GB hdd that is even slower than any hdd I use in my other computers. Wtf. It is ok for most Situations because I only ise it to write emails or browse the internet on the go and for the demanding jobs I have several very powerful pcs at home. But for travelling it is such a pain in the ass! I can't always upload everything to a cloud and I often don't have reliable internet connection, so I help myself with usb harddrives but that sucks as well. Argh, I need to get myself to buy a 1TB ssd. But they are so expensive!

NO. I will not write code for a website on paper. And I will NOT draw my website. Go to hell.

Fucking experimental technologies. I feel like doing webassembly stuff is like buying a smart device, it's not worth any of the trouble for now.
I wanted to do some webassembly-stuff with rust and yew (basically react for rust). I was really hyped because it all looked promising and i found this cool band "heilung" whose music made me my coding feel like black magic with complex incantations and shit.
A basic webassembly setup did work, but everything afterwards was pure shit. Crate installation didn't go as expected, i get weird errors even though i simply copied the example (and checked the versions). The best i got was when i tried to compile and rust told me to go fuck myself because i cant use feature XY in a package in the stable environment. Why the hell would someone even publish said package then? After losing half a day because of this i give up for now. I don't feel like a badass magician anymore anyways, more like the guy that puts mentos into coke and gets hit by the foam.

This hurricane fucking sucks. My power was out nearly all day today. It went out at 6ish this morning, and didn't come back on until 4-5ish in the afternoon.

I was coding on my laptop, trying to reproduce the sampling procedures we talked about in AP stats (hoping that I'd better understand the material if I could connect it to stuff I was doing in another class), and there was a piece of syntax I had forgotten over the summer, and it irritated the hell out of me that I couldn't just Google the answer.

Eventually I just drove to a Starbucks and hung out there for about an hour or two till the power came back on. I was terrified the power would just go out again before I got back home.

Devs with young kids: how the hell do you do it?

I am a foster parent for my cousin who is 4 months old and I don’t know how in the fuck to make this work. How do you do it? How do you balance code and kid?

For reference I work full time at a tech support place, I go to school full time, and I’m trying to pivot into software development, which means any free time is spent coding/studying code/building a portfolio. Problem is I don’t have free time because of the baby. How in the hell do people do this.

Gives an award winning VR idea to our 'Digital Manager'

Says it's too hard for us to do ( it wasn't ) , goes out and pitches it to another digital agency for 'Help', ( mainly coz of the freelance commission )

They go ahead with the idea and make their campaign with it.

we don't get anything. no credit, nothing.

I wonder how the hell someone become a manager with that much of stupidity.

Walk into the office this morning and say hi to co-workers, get told I look like hell and should go home if I'm sick.

I feel great, but thanks for that...Susan.

What the hell Windows !!!
I go for a 15 minutes break, and you decide to close everything and make an update??

Let me do my job you sob.

Recruiter called me to present me a job in fintech.

Arguing about how work standards are important and that task oriented work culture is great.

....

Recruiter (can’t find any argument): All people work in office. It’s financial institution they need to protect privacy.

Me: AWS on last summit presented show case of whole bank from EU in their cloud infrastructure.

....

And we argued for at least 10 minutes where me was talking about losing time and task oriented workplace with specified goals and listening about how brilliant people are there and how much they believe in opensource.

I started believing they want me to go to work to indoctrinate me and make me corporate pig.

Hell no I am to old for that.

Fucking Power Apps and Automate/Flow:
You want to make an app?, great!
- Easy UI and editor, you can make a decent app in a day
- Best data integration in MS space bar none, connect to anything under the planet no problem.
- Deployment on mobile and desktop instantly and at scale, you better believe it.
- Wanna take from sharepoint, manipulate the data and throw it at XRM, we gothcu.
- Source control? FUCK YOU FOR ASKING GO DIE IN A FIRE.
- Proper permission system, Yep, based on O365 and azure AD
- Just let me get the source code please?: BURN IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER
- Integrated AI, indeed we have it. And chatbot frameworks on top of it, no problem at all
- ...

As a tool it is aimed at non technical people, not by making it beginner friendly, but by making it developer hostile. And whenever you hit a wierd quirk in the editor you wish you could just go edit the source code (WHICH YOU CAN TOTALLY SEE SNIPPETS OF), but you are never allowed to touch it.
I am so very tempted to make a version control layer on top of it myself, scraping it via scripts and doing the reverse on upload, but it will be janky as fuck.

Well think it's time a go through an reassess myself a little bit...

Going to cut out premade iced coffee (As much as I do love my dare's) and just do homemade to save money and help with my acne...

Potentially start going for walks and do some minor working out if my back will allow it.

Pick up my violin and continue learning it...

And for the biggest hurdle.... I'm going to drop most of my current projects and take what's left, redesign from the ground up and just hammer them out with my nose to the ground and ass in the air...

Time for hell ( '-') ‾\

Top do-over... I was extraordinary in biology and microbiology. For some reason, I still remember every little detail, everything that I was learning regarding it felt so natural and easy for me. My heart was pulling me to IT, in the end, I become an average, okayish IT guy, with reasonable programming, networking, and other IT skills, but I had to suffer the hell out of studying to reach here. I never was in love with biology, but damn, it frustrates the heck out of me that I'm so freaking good at it... So, my do-over would be to go all-in with Biology.

There was once some webservice made by a junior over the course of a few months. He always said it's good to go and everything works fine - but nobody ever asked to see something of it.
Big mistake, the thing was a fucking mess. Major spaghetti, nothing _really_ worked. The whole application felt like walking on eggshells.

Fast forward: It's Wednesday at 3PM, and the product is to be presented and used on Thursday at 9AM by the customer. They brought me and another colleague into the project and we fixed it in time, but it was one hell of a night.

What started out as a stressful day turned out to be hell. I managed to break sudo... Go me.

Anyone who purposefully makes a CSS rule that’s like 10 classes deep can go fuck themselves with a elongated mason jar. Unless your an evil fuck or a spawn of satan, there’s no reason to make other dev’s jobs a living fucking hell. Fuck you.

Go assign a super simple ticket to your "product owner" or "manager" or whoever the hell claims they "work so hard" and "have the vision" or whatever blah blah blah when in reality YOU'RE the one working 12 hour days, completing the features used by THOUSANDS.

Just try it. They'll never complete it. I guarantee it. Here I am looking at one that is three weeks old asking to update the f&*(@#$ credit card credentials for a simple log service to be reactivated.

So sick of this backward world where us devs never get any credit.

Who wants to start a software union with me?

UGHHH XIAOMI CAN YOUR SHITTY FIRMWARE STOP NAGGING ME WITH "U NEED TO CLEAN UR PHONES STORAGE" NOTIFICATION