Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.

At first I was like: "wtf just happened? Why is that hand connected like it was a robot?".
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then I realised it's ​a watch.

The most stupid question you can ask at an open source software event?

"So, this system, is it open source?"

I asked this to a guy at a stand about the system he was presenting (forgot the project name).

He stared at me with a wtf face and then replied with "....yes.... of course.... this is an OPEN SOURCE software event?!"

I felt quite fucking stupid.

Ex-Boss (62years old)- why do you wear a watch? Take it off.

Me (bewildered) - why? What happened?

Him - see I don't wear a watch also.
Come on, take it off.

Me - *took off my watch* now what?

Him - see. Now you can also look at the time using your mobile, like me. No need of watch. U should be modern.

Me- *WTF. Are u high or something, u fucking insane asshole? *
He was one weird piece of shit.

My college internet sucks!

It was totally fine upto when they blocked facebook and other social networking sites. 😕

Then they blocked youtube! 🤧 Ok, that was fine too!

But now they've blocked Stack Overflow! WTF!! 😭😭

This is the biggest punishment for any computer engineering student.

And there's no one to complain about it!😡😡 They've also blocked Ubuntu forums and several other helping sites! And they expect us to code without using these helpers. FML

Me 6 months ago: "This is fucking genius. Beauutiful. Look at that code. See how I did this? Wow, I love it. Fuck I'm good"

Me Now: " What. the. ffuck? Wtf is this? What was I thinking? Goddamn. "

*reduces 3 methods and 37 lines to 2 methods and 8 lines*

Well at least it shows I'm still learning.

Wtf?? Who wrote this shitty code???

* git blame *

Oh... Right... It was me...

Once I had to clone a repo and it was taking too long...

Went to gitlab to find out in the most wtf way that from 1mb it was 600mb+ now...

One of our new juniors pushed 600mb+ of a database backup to gitlab...

I came to her with a smile and asked in a jokingly manner (after cursing her for about half an hour in my head):

"lol, did you really not notice it took a fucking long time to upload it?"

The fucker was ashamed but just said : no, I think I pushed it and went home.

I constantly reminded her of it for the couple months...

Never done it again :)

Friend: "the blablabla company is offering a free Java spring course"
Me: "free??? Nonono they might have bamboozled you but they won't take me"
...
Goes to course
Awesome experience and free
...
Gets home...
Me:"WTF? It was free"

So the job was for a web developer, specifically.
We needed a person who was very confident with PHP, JS, HTML, CSS.

This dude comes in, he says he's confident with all of them, we ask him how he would solve a problem we're having and he answers just like we answered the first time. Which is a good start.

By the end of the interview, he just says: "ok, but like I'm not here to work as a developer"
"WTF are you even here for, then?"
"To work on anything else than that"
"But we just need that"
"I won't do it"
"Ok, then, bye"

Ah, let me open my half baked personal Android project. Maybe I'll finish it this time.

*opens Android studio*

"You have shitloads of updates. Please download and restart now"

Ok, makes sense. I haven't opened it for a month.

*runs the app*

"CoolApp has crashed"

What the fuck? It was all working before. WTF happened.

*half an hour of online research*

The google play service version is somehow fucked up. So let's fix that.

*App opens*

Yay! Let me login right away!

*Login via google doesn't work*

I didn't even touched the bloody code.

*another half an hour of research. Nothing works*

Fuck this shit.

before programming class:
"yes easy af, imma finish this in a few minutes"

during programming class:
*types everything in 10 mins*
*compiles and runs perfectly*
"wtf this isnt supposed to happen"
*spends 30 minutes trying to find the bug*
"fucking hell, it should fucking work by now"

end of programming class:
"oh i put int instead of float, good job, my time was wasted because of one fucking word"

Today I was searching Android docs and found something interesting:

To write Android log statements, you use the android.util.Log class with the following methods:

Log.v()

Log.d()

...

Log.wtf() 😮😮😮

According to Google it seems to mean "What a Terrible Failure".

WTF?!?!?!

Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.

SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!

He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.

So this happened to me today.

After spending the whole night coding / watching Netflix I was sitting in my chair and looking at my screen with VSCode (dark theme of course) open. It was pretty dark in my room because the only source of light was my computer screen, which was still pretty dark because of the dark theme.

So, while looking at my code I suddenly noticed that the room had gotten a bit brighter. I wondered wtf was going on.
I looked out the window and saw that the sun was rising. Then I looked at the clock:
5:30 am.

Me: 'oh, lol'

A completely normal workday.

Until suddenly... the Internet was gone. Like completely gone.

Out of nowhere the head of network administration appears right beside me, yelling completely over-pitched straight into my ear "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ALL SERVICES ARE OFFLINE? WTF HAPPENED TO THE CONNECTION?..."

He disappeared as fast as he had arrived. With my ears still bleeding I got myself a cappuccino.

Several hours later the Internet was back. At the construction site infront of the headquarter the Internet cable was cut.

Wait. What about a second backup cable? It exists. Unfortunately both cables split only after the construction site.

You had one job anonymous engineer...

It was a boring day and I was about to ssh into my server and this guy comes up to me, stares at my screen and when I turned back
He asks me "Have you tried deep in ur ass?"

*People around started looking at us*

I was like wtf! Got out from my chair and looked in his face "wtf did you just ask me?"

"Deepin, Deeepin OS! "

"Say that again u dumb fukkk and I will fucking slam ur face into the wall!"

Fucking confuses every time!!

Stupid annoying client want me to add 2 new fields on a form. Ok I said, my estimation is that I need 2 days to make the changes on form, database and all the scripts that posting and getting data, plus testing. His reply was, come one do you really want 48 hours to just add 2 fields, its sooo easy!!!! WTF dude... if it is sooo easy why are you fucking bother me??? Do it your self!!!!

Dear diary,
Today is day 3 of Windows 11 for me, and after about an hour of gaming, everything got laggy. I thought it was an AV scanner taking its sweet time kind of lag, but then.... I couldn't switch back to the desktop, I couldn't launch the task manager, it was just a solid frozen brick, and then when I unpaused this game to go back into it.... it was frozen too.

So here I am , with a frozen machine, so I give up and attempt a hard reboot........ yep, your fucked too. Windows auto repair kicks in, and it freezes too.

So now I'm here, with a brick of a fucking machine, wondering wtf could have gone so wrong.

Finally, I've made it to the failed boot screen,

> bootrec /fixboot
permission denied.

🤔 dafuq you smoking?

Fine

> sfc /scannow
Permission denied

Ok.... I don't think I want to know how this works.

> chkdsk /f /r /x C:
Yay something fucking runs
.
.
.
no issues 🤨

Fuck it, reboot.

Oh, now you want to fucking boot you piece of shit.
Now to understand how the fuck you can get a permission denied when your running CMD before boot 😐

Ever wrote a code, came back the second day to continue it, and was like wtf who wrote this yesterday? 😂

rant

The Java course at our Uni requires us to do an end semester project - A Java App with Swing for GUI and some Multithreading code in it.

They asked us to upload the code to drive. I was bored and was checking out my friends' projects.

The code below is what I saw in one of the projects. They have simply called a thread with an empty run method because the project required to use multithreading concepts, wtf.

But then, It is no surprise to me cause these are the people who memorize code and vomit code for marks.

I am worried that people are going to be awarded degrees and called software engineers.

God save the software industry!

Me and co-worker troubleshooting why he can't run the docker container for database.

Me: Check if the port is busy.

Co-worker: To my knowledge, it isn't.

Me: Strange, it just works fine for me and everyone else.

Me: And you're sure you didn't already start it previously?

*We verify that it isn't running*

Me: I'm pretty sure the port is busy from that error message. Try another port.

Co-worker: Already did, it didn't work.

Me: And by any chance restarting your machine won't solve anything?

*It doesn't solve anything*

Me: Alright, I have some work to do, but I'll get back to this. Tell me if you find a solution.

Co-worker: Alright.

*** Time passes, when I get back he has switched to windows, dualboot, same machine ***

Me: I don't think you'll have a better time running the docker image on windows.

Co-worker: Oh, that's not what I'm looking for. You see, I had a database on my windows partition recently and I thought maybe thats why it won't start.

Me (screaming internally) : WTF ARE YOU STUPID, WINDOWS AND LINUX ISNT RUNNING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

Me (actually saying): I don't think computers work like that.

Co-worker: My computer is magical. It does strange things.

Me: That's a logical conclusion.

*** More time passes ***

Co-worker solves the problem. The port was busy because Ubuntu was already running PostgreSQL on that port.

Third co-worker shimes in: Oh yeah, I had the exact same problem and it took me a long time to solve it.

Everyone is sitting in arms reach of each other.

So not only was I right from the start. Someone else heard this whole conversation and didn't chime in with his solution. And the troubleshooting step of booting into windows and looking if a database is running there ???? Wtf

Why was I put on this Earth?

Well one time, it was very awkaward.

My colleague went to lunch, and he was working on some website for international client.

So he left his mac unlocked, and as soon as I saw that I thought i would be cool to add click listener on body of page, and on click it opens up 100 tabs of porn. And I did that.

Before he returned from lunch, client called my boss, with wtf is happeneing with his site, and that it is constantly opening up porn.

What i didnt realize that before colleague went to lunch he contacted client to see some progress. And suprisingly I didnt know that his editor atom was automatically set up to upload website on save to dev server that client is currently looking.

We ofcourse told client it was the hackers :)

But boss wasnt that stupid.

Instant karma.

I spent yesterday refactoring a JavaScript file and it was so fucking bad that I wasn't containing my frustration to the point it git blamed it to make sure I wasn't "wtfing" my boss's code, I wasn't so I went on a rampage.

Anyone who looked at me yesterday would see a pissed off dev with the highest rate of wtf/minute to the screen gesturing and force palming constantly.

I'm a back end dev.
I made a front end code have 90% (?!?!?!) less code, more readable and I can say for sure 10x faster.

There was a fucking setTimeout() with 5 seconds delay to do something that doesn't even need to wait...

Fuck this shit lol.

WTF Apple! That new name is longer than Empire State building! on the right how it was, on the left how it will be if I migrate to Swift 4.2 ...

So, yesterday I was talking to a friend who had a fukin BUSINESS IDEA of starting Uber like service for his local town(where his university is).

Apparently, the moron was searching for someone to make an Uber like app for him (Both fukin Android and iOS) and he was hoping to get it done in under fukin 5000 INR (less than 100 USD).

I was like wtf 😐

Someone just rang the IT Helpdesk moaning that outlook wasn't syncing his mail and it was because the brand new laptop he's just gotten is crap.

So first, the guy on the helpdesk asked to log into the users laptop to look at outlook.
He apparently isn't at his laptop and doesn't have time for anyone to log in!
Wtf lol
So he rings back 10 mins later when at his laptop but wont let the helpdesk log in as he has 'confidential' documents open.

Wtf, close them, why are you ringing us to look at your laptop if you won't let us log on?? lol

So helpdesk was like ok, just check cat cable is plugged in, check wifi is off, do a send/receive etc. and the user's like yes, they're all okay!

Helpdesk tells him to reboot his pc. He does so.
Doesn't resolve it.
Skip forward another 10 painful minutes while the helpdesk guy is pulling his hair out checking everything in the background, and all looks fine.

User then says "should i also turn off my iPhone?"
Helpdesk: 'No, outlook is just on your laptop'.
User: 'No *assured laugh* its on my phone too. I get emails there too'
Helpdesk: 'No, you use the generic 'Mail' app on your phone. Outlook is a separate app. We don't use it.'
User: 'But you're not listening, regardless of the app name, that's my problem, mail's not working on my phone'.
Helpdesk: '.....so why didn't you say so 20 minutes ago when i asked to log into ur laptop?'

User: 'Didn't think it was relevant. Laptop was fine. Assumed you'd know'.

...........

Why.

Why???

Why.

Shockingly, a phone restart fixed it. The user couldn't remember the last time he'd turned the thing off.

I’m getting really tired of all these junior-turn-senior devs who can’t write simple code asking ChatGPT to solve everything for them.

I’m having to untangle everything from bizarre organization/flow to obvious gotchas / missed edge cases to ridiculously long math chains (that could be 1/10th the length), or — and I feel so dirty for this — resorting to asking ChatGPT wtf it was thinking when it obviously wrote some of these monstrosities. Which it gets wrong much of the time.

“ALL HAIL CHATGPT!” Proclaims the head of Engineering. “IT’S OUR PRODUCTIVITY SAVIOR! LEVERAGING AI WILL LET US OUTPERFORM THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY!”

Jesus fucking christ.

I hate windows. Today I opened nvidia geforce experience and in the list of my games at the end there was a new game: "Minecraft: windows 10 edition", WTF???, I never installed it! Like always a google search saved me: After last updates windows will install suggested apps WITHOUT your permission. And to disable this you must edit a key in regedit. Not even a switch in system settings! Microsoft wtf are you doing?

I had a weird dream last night where people communicated by using log statements.

Like if I wanted to say something very loud I'd think Log.wtf("WTF!") and it would appear in front of me like subtitles. Log levels were equivalent to tone level.

The scene was basically a bunch of people with log statements of various levels in front of them and their lips moving with no sound.

I think I need a vacation.

So I took on a fairly big project and poured my heart and soul into it, was the biggest thing I did yet. I kept on sending beta's to the customer after each change for review! Kept on insisting that they review it, the answer was always "this looks amazing keep doing what you're doing"! After I finished and pushed everything to production.

They didn't use it for nearly 6 months! And then out of the blue they call me saying that half of the app is wrong.. WTF? Where was this information during testing! I informed them that the changes would take some time since I need to do migrations and change the whole database schema.

In which they replied "but you already finished it once won't changing things make it easier? We shouldn't pay for your mistakes"
I don't know how I handled that but they should be thankful they were half way across the country 😠😠😠😠

WTF - I discovered that wasps listen to me!

Earlier when one came in, I tried to catch it with a glass and release it, or kill it if that wasn't feasible. This year, I tried pointing to the window and ordering "get out!" just because I was too lazy to take action. Of course, I didn't expect it to work, but it did. I thought it was only a coincidence, so I kept trying it. It works every single time!

Crazy shit!

I fucking did it!!!!!!!

I fucking passed my last exam!!!!!!!!!!!

It fucking took me 6 YEARS of college to finally graduate a 4 year college!!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking have to do my finishing thesis before i get my degree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fcuck you

I fucking suffered so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!

Last fucking exam was databases 1 and i fucking passeD ON THE FIRST TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lick my balls play with them

WTF?????????????????????

I fucking spilled blood to get here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!shuh

I fucking am still mentally stunned!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fucking I cannot wrap my fucking head around what just fucking happened!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking expected to fail and take another exam next week but I PASSED??? ON THE FIRST TRY?????????????

My fucking gpa is shit BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IM DONE WITH STUDYING COLLEGE!!! FOR EVER!! FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE BRUH WTF THIS IS UNREAL IT FEELS LIKE I JUST SERVED THESE 25 YEARS OF PRISON AND NOW IM FINALLY GETTING OUT OF JAIL AFTER 25 FUCKING YEARS!! ALL MY LIFE I COULDNT DO SHJT I LOVED TO DO CAUSE I SACRIFICED MY LIFE TO SCHOOL. WAS IT WORTH IT? NO. FUCK THIS GOOFY AHH SHIT. I HOPE THIS DEGREE PAYS OFF CAUSE I DIDNT LEARN ALMOST SHIT IN HERE

For a second i thought it wrote me "lets cross you off the list" and was scared like WTF am i abojt to get swatted????

Can we talk about this for a second? I mean WTF, how is Windows XP still a thing. Wasn't there a ransomeware attack recently, so every last sys admin should have some motivation to upgrade their shit?
Sure, I hear you say, it's just an information display. No critical stuff.
Well guess what, it was at an airport. Most likely not connected to any critical infrastructur, but still it's a computer, stuck at the boot screen at 11 a.m. running windows XP, connected to an airport network.
And I was standing there like: fuck me!

So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?

You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?

You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?

Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.

What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.

According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".

Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr

I disabled javascript in my browser. Amount of shit loading to read shitty article is insane.

I opened chrome devtools and it was 300 requests and 10MB to read 500 words.

Another news portal 250 requests 7MB to see 300 words.

WTF ?

And they’re fighting with internet traffic by lowering movie quality ?

I just add I have pihole with lots of wildcard filters filtering half of internet and fucking adblocker and those numbers are after those filters.

Are you fucking out of your mind ?

Fucking hypocrites.

told client to buy this particular plugin.

he bought another plugin (totally useless) because it was cheaper.

like wtf.

My dream was shattered!!

I joined a new company. I graduated last 2 months before and joined as data analyst.
So I was dreaming to work on some awesome research projects and all, but it was just another dream...people here don't work on any sort of data analytics instead the data science team uses regex and all to extract things and say they are building models.
Ahh...wtf!!!
Many co-workers are good and help me, but the boss. He left all the annoying works to me and the release is in next month...
"BRUH I JUST JOINED YOUR COMPANY!!!"
Then after some days he gave me more task, when he found that one task was super easy(i mean it was just to extract things using bs4 and selenium, hardly will take an hour) to do then he took that himself and in the next meeting said he did that work and it was super difficult!!!
Data science here to senior members is just for loop!! I dont even know why I joined this firm
Ahhh!!! I want to scream!!!

Preface: My company took over another company. A week ago I inherited their IT.

"IT" !!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!

Their server stood at an ex employees homeoffice. So I drove to her and she had 0 idea about IT. Server was just "Running". I tore that fuck down and saw an aweful lot of Hentai in all home folders.

WTF?!

Not enough, their crm was a makroinfested access table. Shit was protected so I couldn't even edit the makros. The retarded fucktards hardcoded paths to serverside folder \\fuck\you\hard\cavetroll

Just so that server will never see the light of my domain! Damn you? Mothership of sisterfucking dickgirls!

Seriously, wtf is with the new "make-everything-in-javascript" thing?

JavaScript is a terrible language. The type safety, or rather lack of it, gives me nightmares about debugging. The standards are always different. It's way too flexible. Ugh.

I'm tired of all the awesome services that I'd love to use being centralized over Node and JS. I don't want to use your stupid fucking language. Who does?

Also what happened to that dart thing that was supposed to replace JS?

Today I noticed that my first name on my Apple Developer Account was totally wrong, even though the name on my Apple ID account was correct. Trying to fix the wrong name sent me to the Apple ID Account page with the already correct name. I contacted support.

It turns out the developer accounts pull info from your Apple ID at creation time, AND NEVER AGAIN. WTF? So you can not make changes to your dev account, because they are non-updateable..

The fix? Sending a copy of a photo ID to the supporter BY FAX?!?!? This is Apple we are talking about.. in 2017.. I don't know anything anymore

wtf... it seems OneDrive has downgraded my free 100GB storage.... I thought that was supposed to be locked in for life..... :(

O wellz... yes that's 2TB free though the servers are in China...

I pretty much just copied code from Google for a good 2 years, following tutorials on Java, until I actually got a basic understanding of wtf I was doing. I could understand the syntax, loops, and conditional statements well, but for some reason I didn't quite understand the concept of an object until I took a class on Java development during my high school career, where it finally 'clicked'.

"I can't replicate it therefore your hotfix for the customer shouting at you is unnecessary"

WTF?! I had to lead this guy to the records where I'd replicated it myself in both the customer system and the demo one! There's a real sense that the core dev team in this place automatically disregards what the rest of us say (support had already mentioned it was replicable but clearly hadn't realised that they needed to spoon-feed this guy).

This place has a huge silo problem, glad I'm not staying much longer...

edit: these tags shouldn't be reordering themselves, not cool

This is what f*ckin' grinds my gears to the max...

Today a family member asked me to help them with online banking so I agreed because they are really not computer literate.

I don't use the bank they use so the whole online banking website interface was new to me and I had to figure out where some things were.

The family member that I was helping was getting really annoyed because it was taking long (by the way it took me less than 15 min to finish helping them).

As I was assisting them the f*ckin' idiot had the nerve to tell me, and I quote, "I thought you were good in IT. You can't even assist me with online banking".

Honestly, WTF?!?!?! 😡😡
How does one even respond to such...

Anyways... This is just one simple example regardless of what field you are in IT, you NEED to be good with whatever tech gets thrown at you.

So irritating....😡😣

Just received this beauty by a customer. They "made some changes to the HTML". WTF?! Also, alongside was another docx called "printscreen.docx" with only a picture and nothing more in it. I would really like to laugh, but it would evolve into sad, depressing crying.

(Sorry for the "screenshot", but this is on a very restricted Winshit laptop we got from the company who buys our stuff.)

So I signed up for my first hackathon two weeks ago, which is today.

AND YESTERDAY I GET AN EMAIL WHERE THEY'RE LIKE "sorry but there are too many people who signed up so we couldn't sign you up"

WTF

ITS NOT LIKE YOU KNEW THIS TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN THE INSCRIPTION FORM WAS STILL ONLINE (it still is...)

OR MAYBE UPDATE THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION TO TELL THE PEOPLE WHO SIGN UP AND ARE REALLY EXCITED RIGHT AWAY YOU'RE FULL!!!!

FUUCK

I used to get gigs from a freelancing website. Some guy posted a project where he wanted a website with complementary Android and iOS apps for $50. My bid was "Sir, would you like fries with that?". It was uncalled for I guess but after seeing so many projects like this, I was pissed to no end.

2 months later I get an email from the website saying I received an infraction due to my behaviour. Wtf is an infraction? Fuck you and fuck the English dictionary! Or pay me fucking 50 dollars to find out what it means!

Basically, I shat where I used to eat. Fuck my life.

Climb into bed, feel something wet under leg. Wtf? I check. Bloody slug...

There was freaking slug in my bed...

Clean it out, change sheets and all (at 4am, I got lost in the code) and then see another one climbing up the side of the bed

Introduced a ‘new’ logging framework for our web site. Web team is testing the integration and I get an email saying the logging wasn’t working. Instead of sending me how she is searching the logs, she sends me a screen shot of the code (which is ass-backwards of how I documented the logging library, but that’s another rant). OK, she wrote 5 lines of code that should be one line, but OK, the error still should have logged fine. I search the logs, and sure enough, there they are. Errors logged just as they should.
So I email back (with screenshot of the search query and results) asking how she searched for the errors.
Hour later she responds ..”I don’t know.”
That’s it.
WTF do you mean “I don’t know”?…WTF…you are a –bleep-ing developer too! This is not the first –bleep-ing splunk query you’ve written!
OK..I’m calm..feeling better. Wouldn’t be so bad if she emailed just me with the question (I’m not a splunk query expert either, we can figure it out together), but she was sure to cc 3 of the PMs involved in the integration, my boss, and other team members to make it sound like the problem was my code.

I just realized something in my work place, I'm the only one beside the intern (lol) on my team who is proficient in english.

I was helping a coworker debug some issues and she couldn't understand the OBVIOUS error message telling her precisely wtf was wrong and the exact line...

I know something for sure... In our area English is basic, learn it or gtfo. I might as well conduct half the interviews in English from now on.

Today I come across something interresting in SQL Server.

I was optimizing a report query and in the SSMS windows runned in 10 seconds for 3000 rows.

Put it to a stored procedure took me 5 minutes for getting 100 rows.

I was like WTF?

After some research I found out that the problem was that I was using the Stored Procedure parameters in the query.

Created local variables for the parameters and poof... 10 seconds again.

So if you are creating Stored Procedures in SQL Server DO NOT USE THE PARAMETERS FROM THE PROCEDURE. CREATE LOCAL VARIABLES.

Why do otherwise intelligent people think chatgpt code is a good idea if they don't know what the code does?

I am a bit in shock by this prospect. I asked about some lines of code that was using some templates I had not used before. The response was "I dunno, chatgpt." This person is really really smart. Yet deploying code that they don't understand completely. This seems dangerous and irresponsible. I ended up rewriting the function I had questions about. It was significantly shorter and didn't do a fuckton of copying strings around.

WTF is wrong with people? Are people afraid to think? Now I want to get out before this kind of shit becomes the norm.

Finally! Today just received my stickers 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

It was funny because my mom sent me a message with a photo of the letter envelope (closed, obviously) and said "This just arrived today, It‘s from New York, WTF?!“

I laughed and answered "WOW! Those are my devRant stickers 😱😁“

It‘s also hilarious ’cause she though it was from my phone service 😂

Told juniors about coding guidelines that don't put another if-else just to fix a bug. Think through about it and see if you can come up with better solutions.

Today one bug was filed, they asked what happened, one junior said that he [my name] asked me for no if-else in code. He kinda deleted all if-else in codebase and started using same implementation for everything.

I'm standing with a WTF face.

😐

It was a girl who made the interview...
Girl:bla bla bla work stuff
Me: just staring and answering dumb questions..
Girl : do you find me attractive..?
Me: wtf like aaa what I'm gay sorry.
Girl :so you became gay because of me...?
Me: these questions aren't related to work... Will you continue or what?
Girl : looked me bad....
and went to the next room and a guy came. Fast forward...
im working with her for 4 years now...
(hope you don't hate me for this)

So I finally graduated and got a job with a startup. I had to move to a different province to join it.

Hmm, ok sure. I spent a month planning and buying stuff, rented an apartment etc.

All set right? Plot twist.....

Just about 15 hours before moving there, I get a call that investors backed off from investment and my position was cancelled.

Wtf? Did it just happen? I even rejected a big company offer for this and I am unemployed still!!! Can't believe what can happen sometimes....

Recruiter story.. hilarious stuff..

I have an interview in next fifteen minutes and was setting up for it.

Recruiter calls me to remind me of the same.

I ask her to tell me who the interviewer would be, because she did not mention in the invite and also did not respond when I asked her over the email.

Her response: sure, wait a minute... Actually we are not allowed to disclose interviewer.

LMAO WTF!!

So there I was productivity coding away in my office since early in the morning it was about noon when my coworkers kept saying. " Hey have you seen how nice it is outside." "Wow it's really nice out there" and " hey you should really go outside and get some fresh air".

So I'm all ok, cool it's lunchtime I'll check it out. So I go outside and I'm out there for 30 seconds when a bee lands on my face and stings me just under my eye.

Ouch! WTF! No No No it is not nice outside at all. Infact it is painful outside.

so now the rest of my day is ruined all I can feel is my face throbbing and I can't think about anything anymore but my face in pain. Amazing how one little insect can ruin days of coding.

Don't listen to the muggles stay inside.

Ok so I was talking to my computer science teacher earlier and he said that he would rather use vim over PHPStorm for creating a laravel project. WTF!

Normally I would be cool with it, but he has pushed faulty code to git over 8 times. I'm just done.

Had an idea for an app. I started writing the prototype in Node since I just had a simple API in mind. Wanted to have some very basoc crud functionality going and then hook up a nice interface to it. It has to do with logistics and analytics so I just wanted to start sketching something small, and being that i have been successful in doing an API like this in the pass with node and mongo for a local company I said why not.

I have finished a good chunk of it. Gotta love that js productivity. But what tripped me out about it was:

Check how big the folder size is: 387mb

EXCUSE ME??!!

I tripped, there was no way in hell this shit was that heavy. I am basically using Koi(to give it a whirl instead of express, gotta start testing koi sometimes right?) And some joi with morgan and winston. That is it. I am using mongo since legit its the only one i know, even with that there really can't be that much right?

Check node_modules size.....10mb....wtf? What
Wait
Did it?

Sure as shit....forgot that i was storing the mongo data folder inside the app's root folder.

This would have been nothing if it would have taken me 30 seconds to figure it out.

I was losing my mind for 30 mins before i decided to properly verify

I need some sleep

Today was a day at work that I felt like I made a significant contribution. It was not a lot of code. Actually it was a difference of 3 characters.

I am developing an industrial server so that my employer can provide access to their machines to enterprise industrial systems. You know, the big boys toys. Probably in fucking java...

Anyway, I am putting this server on an embedded system. So naturally you want to see how much serving a server can serve. In this case the device in more processor starved than memory starved. So I bumped up the speed of the serving from 1000mS to 100mS per sample. This caused the processor to jump from 8% of one core (as read from top) to 70%. Okay, 10x more sampling then 10x approx cpu usage. That is good. I know some basic metrics for a certain amount of data for a couple of different sampling rates.

Now, I realized this really was not that much activity for this processor. I mean, it didn't seem to me that it "took much" to see a large increase of processor usage. So I started wondering about another process on the system that was eating 60 to 70 % all the time. I know it updated a screen that showed some not often needed data from its display among controlling things. Most of the time it will be in a cabinet hidden from the world. I started looking at this code and figured out where the display code was being called.

This is where it gets interesting. I didn't write this code. Another really good programmer I work with wrote this. It also seemed to be pretty standard approach. It had a timer that fired an event every 50mS. This is 20 times per second. So 20 fps if you will. I thought, What would happen if I changed this to 250mS? So I did. It dropped the processor usage to 15%! WTF?! I showed another programmer: WTF?! I showed the guy who wrote it: WTF?! I asked what does it do? He said all it does it update the display. He said: Lets take to 1000mS! I was hesitant, but okay. It dropped to 5%!

What is funny is several people all said: This is running kinda hot. It really shouldn't be this hot.

Don't assume, if you have a hunch, play with it if its safe to do so. You might just shave off 55 to 60 % cpu usage on your system.

So the code I ended up changing: "50" to "1000".

Once in university I needed to write a simple program in c++ and upload it to online complier which would pass test inputs. It was homework, but I was bored during the next lecture, so I wrote the program.
On my phone.
Directly into the "paste" window in browser.
It wasn't comfortable at all, so I wrote everything in one line.
And got bonus points from lecturer later.
After some questions, ofc, like "wtf why everything is in one line"

Hi yall! I've been here a while, but never actually posted anything. Love reading your rants though, always makes me giggle^^
Anyways, I'm a IT student and I got this new job as an IT-consultant.
So we had this big meeting today, together with the CEO and a lot of other new employees with different engineering profession... So everything went fine until the end. We were supposed to stand up and say our names, what we're studying and tell a fun fact about ourselves and I TOTALLY fucked it up... I kinda said my name, I completely forgot to tell what I'm studying and my fun fact was something about ppl having a hard time with my name. Like, wtf are you even saying dude?! All I wanted was to was write code, why can't I just do that?

Me: I deprecate a react component, because it's bloated and no longer makes sense, and I let everyone on the team know that we're working to get rid of that component

Other Dev: Hmm, if I copy this component for every time that it is used, rename all of my copy's and delete the original, I got rid of the deprecated component...

Me: After hearing that deprecated component was removed... "Good job other Dev"

Me: A couple of weeks later after dev leaves company and I start adding some new features to the app "WTF"

This fucking professor who doesn't go to classes and demands make up classes to catch up. Like WTF, So now you are taking our precious resting time where it is the only time we get our precious sleep? Fuck off. It was not our fault that you did not show up. I get that you want to catch up but taking our rest time is not cool. You are not the only one who stress us with fucking projects and exam shits...

Worst dev experience was when I was asked to "take a look at" a propriatery Windows app built by a now non-existent team at the company.

The code base resembled the quality of legacy code where about every hour I felt like I needed to vomit. But that wasn't even the worst part for me.

This was the first time I had to develop on Windows and was sent a separate dedicated laptop for this. Now I started to have a bad feeling about this because as far as I had known every single dev at the company used company Macs for development (including me for other projects). It turned out the Windows laptop was indeed configured for a non-dev team :)

Having liased with IT admins for a day I finally got my environment set up and hit install on the dependencies and in 10 minutes it got to less than 10%. The laptop was pretty powerful so I couldn't belive wtf was going on, fans were ramping. Checked task manager and the company Anti-Malware was hogging the whole CPU.

I was so mad that I managed to get the IT admins to completely disable it and then it was only the pain of working with shitty code on Windows which would have been more than enough from the start. Thankfully it only lasted a week.

so if guys read my prev rants... this is it im quitting my job got a better offer coz my current company blocked devrant started last week i was like wtf 1st thing that my future employer asked me what will make you happy i said "dont block sites that are helpful for devs" he lol'ed so hard btw just got it today thank you so much devrant my macbook and laptop will now look really cool

WTF is the point a
of auto-generated documentation. Some dude litterally thought it was a good idea to read the code and write the exact same shit differently. WTF IS THE POINT!?

Documentation takes work, sorry, stop being lazy.

FFS stop squashing commits. If “updated comments” is what the commit was it should show it in git blame. If “fixed null check” is what the commit was it should show it in git blame.

There is no reason to have “ticket-234 service revision” beside 1000 lines of code. How does anyone justify this loss of git info for the sake of “clean history”? Nobody looks at your history and says, “That is bloody clean git history I should write home about it.” People do however look at the code and say, “I wish I knew WTF they were trying to do on that line.”

Just finished recovering all deleted files from my old hard disks I found in the attic, just for fun.

I was hoping to find some old photos or something. Instead I found my awful old Qt code.

Back when I started the recovery it was sunny and perfectly clear outside. As soon as I found the code the skies went dark and now it’s raining like hell and lightnings are blasting.

Wtf i just summoned

Today was "one of those days".

So, the state machines were keep on failing. I said fuck it and wrote a simpler loop thing.

Even that failed.

And it took me hours to figure out what was wrong. But I did. Because THERE WAS VIRTUALLY NO FUCKING DOCCO ON THIS SHIT, ANYWHERE ON THE FUCKING ENTIRETY OF THE INTERNET. Hell, I even translated a few pages from Mandarin. Which is ridiculous since I'm working with standard robotic shit. Like, wtf even?

Anywho, I also had a heart attack because the port was not responding. I ran across the building to find the guy who fortunately had another port controller. That didn't work either. Then by the God-given cure of "Turning it off and on again " (it, in this case, being the computers) it worked!

Then I broke the window blinds. It's not coming down anymore.

Like, yeah, thanks, I'll take a weekend and half.

So I was logging into google today and my password is very long so I often make mistakes while typing it so I went to inspect element to change input type to text so that I can check the password and I see that Firefox is storing my password already as plain text. Wtf Firefox???

My grandpa just called me and asked if I could remove some Facebook notifications from his phone. I know it's been milked to the moon and back, but I'm a programmer, not IT.
I guess I don't blame him, though; in his mind, that's probably what all programmers do.
Here's the real wtf thing: he told me that after I messed with his phone last time I saw him, it's been sooo much faster. WTF I NEVER MESSED WITH YOUR PHONE ALL I DID WAS ADD MY CONTACT INFO

why me

WTF MICROSOFT.

I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.

Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.

And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.

Seriously Fuck you Microsoft

I was once asked to find a way to find the centre of gravity of a coke bottle. As soon as I started mentioning string, ruler etc., the interviewer told me I have nothing else, only the coke bottle..

Was interested to learn about OpenGL and WebGL. Just found out no fucking drivers exist for my graphics card on Ubuntu.
WTF AMD !!! Atleast provide some compatibility for your product if I am purchasing it !!!

Fucking great.

A fucking nightmare for one month to present a near-finished functioning web-app instead of a prototype.

Web-app presented in a prototipe-ish manner because it was actually being FUCKING TESTED WITH INVESTORS?!??!!??!
OMFG IM SOOOOO PISSED IM JUST GONNA ASK FOR VACATION AND DISAPEAR
WTF

WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!

What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters

Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....

I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\

Love being contacted by a consultant.

At 7PM.

Via WhatsApp.

Becuase they recently "migrated to gmail" (wtf does that even mean?!?! it was their reason why I didnt get their email)

I fucking hate zoomers, please kill me, i have made a mistake working with these clowns

🤡

Yesterday I had a good idea for a project I'm working on, so I decided to stay awake all the night drinking RedBull in order to implement it.

Eventually I went to bed. I dreamed I was on an island with some friends and a volcano erupted. We escaped from the lava boarding on a big boat, then a tsunami wave reached the boat. Boat didn’t sink, however electric power went down. When the electric power returned, on the boat screens appeared the following text: "Please, restart MySQL". However, under it there was the PostgreSQL elephant logo. I was someway more worried about that rather than the tsunami. After that, a hurricane was coming too. We were saved by people coming with a spaceship, however they appeared to be drunk. I woke up thinking «WTF!».

This morning my husband told me our 4 cats made fuss all the night.

TL;DR;

Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...

Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:

Boss: is there any problem with the server?

Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.

Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?

Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.

Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?

Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...

Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.

Boss: OK. Thanks

TL;DR;

Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...

WTF Windows.
I was assigned as TA to a highschool CS class, and was doing a live demonstration to ~20 students on how to install the Python environment and set up venv (on Windows, since that is what the majority of students use).
After installing Python, I tried to demonstrate invoking the Python environment by typing "python" in the command prompt. However, that opened up Microsoft Store instead.
Being extremely confused, I had to talk nonsense for 2 minutes while frantically look up what happened on another screen.
In the end, it seems like Microsoft recently introduced this "feature" that automatically associates the opening of a program to whatever it feels like.
-.-

Why would someone in their right mind change a piece of code that was working fine (and it wasn't a complete mumbo jumbo in styling, logic, transparency, was in line with how the project was coded etc..) to use dapper just to call a stored procedure?! Dafaq is wrong with people!?
Or is it just me & I'm overreactig again?!
I hate when people add more stuff to projects that are already overbloated with fw/techologies to do something so trivial.. like adding 6827646 js fw so you can use one function in each (or are simply still there because they didn't know how to use it and left it in project) which could easily be achieved with our own fw we use...wtf?! O.o
// me cringing, cussing etc..

We had a quiz in our class recently that some students from our class made.

One of the questions was "Who made Google?". Later when correcting the answers she it was fucking Steve Jobs!!!! Wtf!!! How dumb can you possibly.

Looking at some legacy code and I was like wtf, later read the author name and it was me.
How people were tolerating me than! Man😂

Wtf is the point of closing a project submission at a specific time. Yea sure let me know it’s late but if I want to post the file late let me. I was 8 seconds late to post a file for a project and it locked me out. Sure they say no late work but this is a stupid policy. Also, why is it due at 4am? No body is looking at these at 4am! Just make it due at 6 or 8am or something. Gaaa

Slack is cool and all... But do we really have to have an "account per team" ? Damn I cringed so hard when I was setting up two-factor authentication and realized it was this way... Wtf...

LEGIT FUCK ME!

So I use KDE Neon RN. One day, it randomly doesn't boot. Checked logs, sddm was fucked. Reinstalled. Everything worked fine for a day, next day: fucked. Reinstalled, disabled sddm (auto login) and then a day later: basically no services start / are missing and random parts of the os randomly crash.

Wtf do I do 😢

Developing a web app that I'm sure was touched by Satan himself. Bugs come out from no where.
Yesterday when I left everything worked. Today when I arrived nothing works! Lots of angular errors. WTF. No one else worked on it . :O

Fulfillment company: the order you put in our system is wrong, the hours we needed to correct this will be charged to you (Red: or rather my employer)

Me: *Checks logs and our server - finds out the order was made in their own webform/webapp*

Me: hey how come I can put in values in your webform that should not pass sanity checks, thats weird (in this case it was a product w/ a quantity of 0)

Fulfillment company: we don't do sanity checks or validation, we just find out when shit crashes and burns, nothing weird about that

Me: WTF

Just came back from a Dev event and it was so refreshing knowing that I have similar knowledge as some presenters and that almost anybody knows wtf they are doing 😂😂

F**king sh*t management...there was a training schedule for Casandra (for basics and advance), I added my name to interested list and as I wanted my site ppl know I sent a email to HR stating to look at it and add more ppl....now I am out from the list and a line manager's name got added...WTF....why the hell he needs rather then a programmer... :(

Was talking about how I implemented CI/CD in one of our projects as a starting point to others and how it worked by running tests and deploying to the server and one of my colleagues laughed about having to have tests at all, I explained and asked him what was he gonna do that morning, his answer:

"Well, I'm gonna test the system X and fix some bugs"

To what I replied:

"If you have automated tests you could have those tests automatic(?!) and they also help you finding bugs early"

Wtf do ppl have in mind that they prefer remediation over prevention and they end up wasting their time with shit that could be fully automated?

Windows decides to finish faulty programs whenever it likes. İt's so annoying, I did just one small mistake in c++. I wrote "new char(length);" instead of "new char[length];" and I have been dealing with this shit for three days. Then I run the program on Linux and boom it failed in the same spot, which I fixed. But in Windows it sometimes runs, sometimes fails or sometimes even fails on unrelated places. Wtf windows? How about security and shit. There was literally a buffer overflow and you still keep running the program. And why GCC didn't even popped a warning. I hate developing c :(

Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.

This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦‍♂️

Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?

A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.

A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.

The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!

So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.

Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!

I guess the job I’m at now? I’ve been paid for 8 months and I’ve produced nothing, they’re happy about it and I was given a pay rise. It has taken me months to make deployments and I feel like some days I might’ve well of had a day off. If I had a sick day I still get paid for a full day even if it was for a whole week. How did I get this job and wtf do I even do? 😂💃🏻💃🏻 <= that’s me dancing

Does anyone just feel tired, in general? Like the boss is (usually) alright. I like the work and I am good at it. Maybe I'm not feeling challenged enough? Honestly, I'm not sure. In the last retro, I was an 8.5/10 on the happiness index, now I'm a 4...wtf

I thought 'atoi' was just some acronym wtf who thought it would be a good idea to name a parse function 'atoi'?

So a client of mine who I've known a long time referred me to a friend of his for a project. OK great! Quoted the guy a price got the OK but didn't know my client had told this friend they would be paying me for the job. Well I found this out when I went to get payment from the guy. I call my client and he proceeds to tell me "yes we told him we would pay for it but thought it would just be included in our project fee which was already paid".. WTF

BielyApp, yeah, GOOOOOOOOD IDEA! I still can‘t understand how this works or why did a reasonable human being though that this would be a great idea! 🤔

Ok. There‘s a community that lives 4 or 5 hours from my my city. I don‘t want to offend anybody, so let‘s call them “Bielys” (just a random name, I don’t know if there’s actually a group or etnia with that name).
Bielys live isolated from modernity, they speak their own language and they don’t use technology.

A dev friend of mine was having a hard time (he got divorced and was almost in bankrupt). One day, a man asked him and another dev to work on a mobile app:

...

“BielyApp”.

...

It was supposed to be a movile app for commerce. Bielys could sell and buy biely stuff from another bielys. Well, at this point you can figure out why this was a bad idea. Anyway, they developed it. Even it’s on GooglePlay and AppStore 😱 I installed it to see if it was truth or not. Incredibly it was true. BielyApp exists and the worst thing is that you can log in with your facebook account. WTF?!

I asked to him “But why?! WHY?! They don’t even use smartphones!!!!”
And he answered “I know, but I needed the money”

One of my worst WFT moments was just over 2 years ago.

A former colleague had been tasked with “upgrading” our solution for handling customer specific CSS on our platform for building newsletter emails.

He had been with us for about 5 years and ported most of the front end gui over that time from classic asp to .net and C#.

This work started in November and with a pause over dec-mid jan for high season and Christmas leave he continued.

In the beginning if mars we had the first of multiple WTF on that when I realized that his solution required a lot of special CSS or rather LESS, more than the a actual HTML for the template, and all was custom less rules that was very hard to understand.

We found that he actually never really understood how LESS worked and had tried to do things in a very backward way. Another colleague jumped in and manage to clean it up a bit so it got down to manageable levels.

Then in the end of Mars came the next bigger WTF. This is a newsletter building application. Turns out the new LESS based solution was entirely dependent on the js version of LESS and only worked when running in the browser. Guess what, the email send engine is not a browser and css classes and rules generally does not work in emails.

The new solution was impossible to integrate with the part that built and sent the emails without some very heavy rework.

Oh, and it was also completely incompatible with 12 years of old newsletters and customer templates that just did not work.

And of cause, he had not shown any of this in code reviews but rather just merged it part by part to the new version branch interleaving it with 5 months of other work.

He left the company short after.

What a great fucking feeling when I open my macbook in the morning and there is a huge, obnoxious scratch over the entire screen!

How the fuck does that shit even happen?! I closed it last night and it was fine! WTF :(

It was back in 1996, when dad taught me how to run games from DOS it was a mind-blowing thing and for me a black screen and white text was a "wtf it's too hard" thing. Then he showed me how to format and I felt like he was doing rocket science 😂

So we got a new developer
And his first task's PR is a pure copy paste off a random website that I managed to find in less than 1 minute of searching for the feature on Google

And I mean that's cool and all, because we all do that sometimes
But my oh my, he didn't even bother changing it one bit, hell it didn't even fit the purpose and it was weirdly imported as a separate class instead of it being added as an extension on the existing base class

Like wtf man, at least put some effort into the 5 minutes it took you to find, copy and paste that in

so... 9 years ago we had this super awesome codebase. 1 file, complete logic COPIED to be used in ui and service/daemon. I scrolled to the middle of the file and there was no source. it was out of bounds of my monitor to the right because of nested ifs. ok... what the fuck!! the worst part: I had to implement a new FEATURE into this mess. 2 days. I said it would not work as expected because the feature was not thought through. but project said let's gooooo! ok there I was, a junior with an impossible to implement feature and a codebase from hell. I've implemented something, all night long. next day it was the problem of the consultants. they called me, I told them why it's impossible that this would ever work, they understood and talked to the customer. he accepted the solution. WTF?! anyway, in those days I thought about quitting developing software as my daily job....

WTF IS WRONG WITH ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE?!
I was just modifying an existing program for adding a sequence of numbers from the data section and through console input. I studied the code and started modifying it one step at a time. I needed to modify it into a multiplication program. So I started by changing the ADD functions, replaced the result and buffer registers with bigger size and thought I completed it. WELL GUESS WHAT? SHIT JUST GIVES ME SEGMENTATION FAULT! NOW I HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE THING! WHY DOESN'T IT TELL ME WHICH LINE OF THE CODE I FUCKED UP AT?! STUPID NASM COMPILER.

So, I was rejected from a job cause I didn't answer one mail asking for a technical detail about my code... my bad for it.

Except I checked the mail every single day and it was neither in mails, nor in spam, nor in the other gmail smart labels, and it magically appeared October 30th, with the date 27th October. WAT?

I am not even angry (I am extremely sad because a remote job would have allowed me to finally move in with my sweet half, but that is another story) just... wtf? How...did it...? WAT?

Excuse me?!
You called me to encode this compliance document?
And I'll take care of the contents?
Just follow the format?
And must be submitted to central office/agency? Deadline is today?
Wait, do you know what time is it? It's fvcking 11:40AM PHT and office is only until 5PM.

I'm an IT guy. Your only developer, sysad, and you want me to do a management document? Am I regular like you? Wait, is that even a technical document? Wtf!

I was in the middle of coding and checking our server status when this high-rank employee from the Admin office called me and was told to do this compliance document what has nothing to do with me or even our IT unit. So yeah, this is how crazy some government office work here in PH.

1. When i was 11 years old i came across a trojan horse program and i sent it to all my school friends to get their messenger password.
(I had a list of passwords of all the people in my class... dont worry, i didnt even used the passwords, i just stored them in my list lol)

2. Took data structures 10 years later, hated it and switched to electrical eng

3. I was working on a manufacturing plant as the lead engineer and one of my prototypes was misbehaving and i was blaming software and software was blaming me...typical stuff... So i said "im going to get a masters is software so i can know wtf you are talking about, and tell you that you are wrong😠!!"

Got in school, started in the masters and quit that place i was working for 🤣.. (they were shitty people and unethical business... fyi)

Now im back to where i was was when i was 11... (minus the hacking email accounts of my classmates)

Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.

Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...

Ever been tasked with a modification, you see the code and think WTF??!!!??

Yes it was me who wrote it, what was I thinking? So I going to have to refactor this rubbish, so I set about tidying it up and realise that this is far more complex than I remember. When I finally get to grips with every aspect of it, I come to the conclusion that actually this is quite clever.

Straight up removed the changes, walked away from the original code and got on with what I was supposed to be doing to start with. Oh well, guess I got to grips with something I had forgotten.

Was playing fallout 4 a couple days ago. About 20 minutes in. The computer just shuts off. Like no power at all. I start up the computer again. Try fallout 4 again. It shuts off at the beginning video. WTF... I try Skyrim wondering if video card is busted. Skyrim runs perfectly fine. I startup Fallout 4 again. It runs. WTF...

Next day I try fallout and bout 20 minutes in power off again. Now I am assuming cooling issue and I am trying to see temps with programs. Cannot really tell.

So today I take apart my laptop and vacuum every cooling orifice out. Vacuum any dust looking crap I can see. There was dust in the fans. All clean. I run a memory test for a couple hours. Memory passes (it was brand new memory, thought maybe flaw in ram). Now I run fallout 4. Runs fine, zero issues for about an hour.

Me to myself: CLEAN YOUR DAMN COMPUTER MORE OFTEN! Okay...

In between I read about Fallout 4 causing system reboots and shutdowns due to loading and heating. Apparently something about Fallout 4 causes this more than other games. Wild... Pretty sure it was thermal shutdown protection going on.

First day back from holiday: after 30 minutes of work (excludes start-up, catch-up etc.) The P.O. (product owner) comes to me

Telling me I needed to switch project, ok I thought at least they switched the project from what ever it was to a propper OTAP street while I was away

Few tickets later the P.O. asked me if tickets x could be deployed to our test servers as well as production.. (note the ticket was already merged with our develop branch and he wanted only that single ticket x to be deployed)

WTF is the point of a OTAP street if you're going to deploy it to every server type at once?

So day one after my holiday I already needed to fight the P.O. again

At least I wasn't disturbed during my vacation... Witch is a first.

Well, this'll sound like my first rant but my boss did it again. working on implementing a new feature. but I got sick last week and took some time to recoup. well come into the office todat, tell him I'm going to finish it. he says okay. 3pm comes around and I go and ask him for some help on finishing it. he says "check out the repository, I already did it."

okay. I'm sick. you want it done. fine. that's cool. but you made me waste literally my entire workday doing something you knew was already completed? WTF?

So, I got an iFixIt toolkit with a gift card from xmas. Was excited to tear into my iPhone6 given that it had lasted me a long time, and not that long ago, I had the screen repaired given I didn't know how to at the time and was working stupid long hours. I haven't used the phone in about 6 months now.

Wtf.

I open the device, and immediately 2 screws and a bracket fall out of the device. The inside is filthy, and appears to have corrosion (despite the fact I've never gotten water on it, I was kinda anal with that phone).

Whoever the guy was who "fixed" my screen apparently did so in a way that involved spilling something on my phone, over torquing a screw, breaking a bracket, and the entire thing looks sketch.

All while charging over $100. I can see why he insisted on having an otterbox on the phone now, he fucked up and was worried the one screw pin wouldn't hold the screen on. Motherfucking asshole.

So I'm taking embedded systems subject in my masters course. They have mixed this subject's content with electrical engineering and I'm a computer science graduate. Everything was perfect until I reached to GPIO board.
Wtf is this shit?
Why it has so many holes and what are they for?
What I'm supposed to do with it?
What is ground? Transistor?
Why I'm connecting to two pins only instead of the 4 pins of a button?

Thanks to pi4j i think i will pass the subject!

So my Dell laptop has been freezing for a couple of weeks.

I thought it was the Slack desktop app that was causing it, so I uninstalled it. Still froze.

So I did a whole bunch of things on it to try to fix it, even restarting Windows 10. Still froze.

Then I thought it was the Dropbox app that was causing it, so I disabled it from starting up when I turn on the laptop. For a while, the laptop didn't freeze.

Then my desktop computer started freezing too from time to time. I was like, "WTF!"

It could be the Windows Update that's causing it, because there was an update going on around the time the freeze-ups happened. Now my laptop is on the "Getting Windows ready, Don't turn off your computer" screen after hard-booting it.

I have a Yahoo app on my phone for some legacy purposes. I just allowed the storage access permissions when it was asking for it during the installation or something, cause like, who doesn't? I checked my Yahoo Mail on the browser tonight and saw copies of my mobile photos in it! It's through the Attach Icon > Insert animated GIF. WTF? So that's how you can easily get hacked from apps?

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??! I LITERALLY GET SPAM MAILS EVERY 5 MINUTES (i know I know, some of you get more than that) ABOUT BITCOIN. I NEVER DID ANYTHING FUCKING RELATED TO CRYPTO CURRENCY! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY EMAIL?? LIKE WTF. I'm sitting here doing my stuff and every few minutes my phone starts ringing and I'm like "hey maybe person x answered or something else important happened" but when I actually look at it to see whats up it's just a fucking email about bitcoin being outdated and it tells me to maybe invest into other crypto currencies. After actually reading one of the spam mails because I was interested in what they actually want from me I had to find out that they do not even mention any other currency or website. WTF INTERNET?? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Someone wrote to me on linkedin for a php job. I had enough time and accepted the interview. We set it for the next day at a time that both me and the recruiter wanted.
I waited for him to even contact me until 5-6 hrs after the time we set, to tell me he was busy with meetings (wtf you wanted 14pm). I gave another chance and we set the interview the next day at the same time.

I waited for 2-3 hrs. This time he wrote me back even later, it was almost midnight to tell me the same excuse.

Is this a red flag for you? Should I even consider working with this guy?

I remembered one time my freakin prof in programming taugh us how to understand computer language, that time my worst enemy is ASSEMBLY, for some reasons my teacher doesn't know how to code in assembly like wtf?

On our last grading period he asked us to create a program using mov and shift and the deadline is set tomorrow after he announced it.

I remember my code in that freaking subject

MOV COURSE
SHIFT SCHOOL

HAHAHAHA after that I was scolded big time 😂

Today a task was assigned to a coworker, he is a good guy, but one of those that never complain, never say anything, get there early, go to lunch at the exact same hour everyday, doesnt talk to anybody and gets off at exactly 6pm.

So, the task was submitted by QA, according to them, a disabled input could be enabled by going into the dev tools and enabling it...

So i went over the pm and told her (cos she is a cunt) that the ticket was just bullshit and that first of all, we had no control of it, but if that is the case, we can go over and add event listeners to all the inputs in the platform to avoid people changing them...like wtf?

Since she is a dumb cunt, she 'escalated' the task to the senior dev... he is also a total fucktard who doesnt know a shit. The dude said that the task was ok and we had to do it or not but it was better to do it, justifying the ticket in the most stupid and incoherent way... like wtf is to do with it? Tell the user to not go over the devtools and enable it? The fuckkkk

I felt like i was about to shit my kidney, seriously, but what can i do? It is not the first time things like that happen. The stupid fuck also let one of his friends add several migrations to change several tables columns just because of 'good practices' which in first place left the databas all fucked up and with fucked relations.

I'm just so tired of these fucks, incompetent motherfuckers... I told a friend about it and he said that that was nothing, it is worse when you have to work for banks and that the only thing i could do was to let it go and learn from it, to not do the same mistakes. Im thinking in quitting... what should i do?

Go to bed tired. Wake up tired. Get up tired.
A month ago I was excited doing my work, I even was planning a huge change on one of our projects, detailed everything and passed it over to other folks to get funding. Now I seriously doubt I could pull it off. When I start reading a line of code I forget how it started before I reach the \n.
There was this thing I was asked to implement... A nifty one, I already could see the implementation. As I came to it I got stuck. Like when your body gets "stuck" when you get scared to death - you know what you have to do (i.e. RUN), you know how, but for some reason you just can't... Couldn't come up with anything. The other dev had to take it over and implemented it all in like 4 hours. Just like that. And it took me another 4 hours to understand how and why it worked when I know it should not take me that long as I used to write similar algorithms myself for fucks sake! I know I could have written it myself... but I couldn't..

I'm seriously worried.. Is this the end of my carreer as a dev? Am I broken somehow? I have some vacation days saved but I doubt it would be enough... Don't know if changing workplaces would work as well. I've always wanted to leave 9/5 and start working on my own project full time but now I am not sure I could pull it off either.. wtf is happening.. wtf... wtf..

I was finishing compiling the linux kernel in tty mode for a school project in the subway cuz the class was over and it was not finished. A guy came to me and said : I used to do that, but on a Mac. Then he left. I was like : wtf do you think I'm doing? You don't compile the linux kernel on a fucking Mac. And why would you mention it was a Mac anyway?I guess he just did ls -al on his Mac in tty.

Windows PowerToys randomly locked an image on my computer and I was not able to delete it.
I closed PowerToys and was able to delete the image.
But why was the file locked by Power"Toys" in the first place? Hint: I did not use any tool on this image whatsoever, I just randomly noted it was locked. Wtf are all these programs doing in my private files without my knowledge? >:(

I was almost 2 days in a task to find the reason of a bug in a client's process, then I found something really weird, that made all the team go to my desk to see wtf was happening, then a guy says, "wait, this was not supposed to be in there, I was editing this process in other environment (he knew it because of the number)" , what did we discover? Someone (they haven't told me who), was supposed to put a file in a folder, just it, but the motherfucker did put the file in the wrong environment folder. I lost 2 days chasing a bug that never existed '-'.

It's only Thursday... morning... WTF....

(my internet is so slow I delete the post I uploaded an hour ago because it looked like the image was corrupted... It was just still loading)

Q: WTF was used in __ different ways in this rant. How many and what are they?

Man I am sick and tired of developers (I was about to put that in quotes, but it's mean), acting "cool" all the time. Like let me just put it out there, WTF is dAy iN tHE LiFE oF A sOftWaRe deVELoper.

Get the fuck out here. All you do is eat, walk, eat, chat, laugh and fuck around all day, with no work being done. And I'm supposed to respect you. Educate these young and fresh developers on what it is really like, rather than teasing them with the ideal life they think it is.

I have a complex about my nose. I was about to bite the fucking bullet and do something about it. Literally just waiting for the procedure room to be ready, when I kept asking myself wtf I was doing. Then looked at my nose again and realized that it really wasn't that big a deal. Not when compared to dealing with internal bleeding and pain for weeks, plus a painful procedure.

Even after all these years, all these accomplishments, all this experience, I'm still a dumb fuck.

Now then, I'll go put some of the money I didn't waste to good use. Like videogames, hookers, and blow. Probably just the former.

We had a meeting with the top IT folks in the company (top manager was in the meeting). A mix between operations (customer), engineers, and IT people were at this meeting.

The IT group was not happy that my customer had asked me to do some server work. IT wanted to control that. They wanted to shut down a server without regard to the customer using this resource constantly.

IT had heartburn about the system running Ubuntu rather than Redhat Linux. The top manager during the meeting says, "Why are you running Ubuntu? That is a gaming OS." All the other IT people who worked for them just looked at each other and us with that 'WTF? Dear caught in headlights look.'

My manager who was at same level as head of IT made a few comments. We got to keep our server and IT backed down.

So I was looking around for some Jackrabbit related docs to learn more about it. Then I clicked some link and the official site opens. Wtf Apache?

What is this? Babys first responsive site?

Wow or wtf to these banks API. was integrating an API for a service which accept JSON input.
Okay fair enough, that would be fine
Spent an hour writing code(purescript) most of time spent was on writing Types based on the API doc. after that okay let me test the API it failed.
I was what happened? So tested the API from postman with the payload from the doc, it worked. What how?
used a JSON diff to compare the payload from postman and the log. Looked same to me after spending few hours checking what is wrong with it .trying changing value to pasting the body of the log request in postman and trying everything failed.
Later went to the original working payload provided by them and changing the order. It started throwing error. I was like wait what?
It must be only on there UAT. created a payload with production creds and hoping to our production server (they have IP whitelist) ran the curl with proper payload as expected it worked. Later for same payload changed the order or one key and tried it failed.
Just why????
I don't want to create a JSON with keys on specific order. Also it's not even sorted order.

argh!!!! The fucking IT guy just went in and changed shit without permission on the company intranet I manage. It was awful! A subpage would literally have 25 words on it and then a link to a doc that referred to list of files on another subpage! WTF! Also these were not added to the navigation bar either. This is a Google site so easy to fix it but mothafucka jeez!!!

FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT USB STICK. What the actual fuck how hard can it be to format a usb-stick? Excuse me?

Basically, flashed arch .iso on my usb stick. After stuff was done I want to format my usb stick again so I can put files on it. Normally thats a super easy process. I tried a shitload of things.

1) On windows: Quick format -> Windows was unable to format.
2) Went to Linux. Opened GParted. Gparted didn't detect the usb drive? Wtf. Rebooted then it showed up. Tried to delete all partitions, tried to clear the entire drive. Gparted just freezes. Ok... wtf is going on?
3) Tried to go the bruteforce way and zero out the entire drive with dd. After a few seconds dd freezes and is not doing anything anymore.

Wth is going on lol? Why can I not wipe my usb drive? Any ideas?

So, here at this place ... last person to touch a project is the sole person responsible for it being a success or failure. Wtf?!?!?!
If a client sends me the wrong picture, and agrees that is the correct one, and then it goes to production. Later on to find that it was never correct to begin with ... guess who's fault that is?
Is everybody taking crazy pills?
Don't answer that, I already know the answer.

My favorite PEBKAC encounter:

Was showing a user how to run some reports in our web app, and told her to click on the Reports button. She clicks on it but nothing happens. I start panicking in my head of course, like wtf could have broken to cause the page not to load??? Finally, I realize she pressed down on the mouse button but never released it. PEBMAC?

! RANT
Yesterday I went to pool campus recruitment drive and there were 3 rounds
1. Written​ aptitude test
2. Group Discussion
3. F2F interview

Cleared first round and got selected for second round out of like 80 students. (15-18 got selected)
Went to group discussion first topic was "Donald Trump Administration is threat to IT for Indian or not" and the all were saying he stopped giving visa to Indians, there is no opportunity for us there because of him and I was like wtf... And they think because of Trump, Indian people from Infosys got kicked out hahahaha wtf is this.
Second was how AI and Digitalization can help in growth of nation.
And again those girls hahahah one girl said by using AI we can make new technology and can explore galaxies. What the fathafucking fuck!!
And YES THEY GOT SELECTED.
(Whole HR team was non technical)

WTH. My TV, with a plugged in chromecast, just turned itself on and played music that definetely was not mine.
First thought was, that someone got into my network and was jerking around. A little later I figured out, that my mom started the playlist on her phone and somehow it triggered my cast und turned the TV on.

Seriously WTF

I can't share it but I basically just wrote an email at work that's pretty much a rant.

Basically something like should we use Java for this new component? It needs to communicate with our existing server written in JS.

And someone was like no we should stick with JS and Node because that's what the website is written.

And so I'm like wtf... It doesn't matter as long as everyone agrees to follow the same rules... And then added a part about commenting and documenting stuff being more important so I don't need to keep doing CSI on the codebase when something blows up.

Task: Deploy MinIO in k8s cluster
Me: deploys the first docker image found on google: bitnami/minio
MinIO: starts

Me: log in
MinIO: Fuck you! There's a cryptic error: Expected element type <Error> but have <HTML>

Me: spends half a day trying out different vendors, different versions, different environments (works on local BTW)

Me: got tired, restored the manifest to what it was at the beginning. Gave it the last try before signing off

MinIO: works 100%

wtf... So switching it back and forth fixed the problem, whatever it was. Oh well, yet another day.

This stupid computer is in clamshell mode connected to my screen and mech %99.999999 of the time. I take it with me on a trip and the down arrow key breaks off (little plastic shit-thing snapped off)..WTF? 2013 Macbook that has about 5 hours of total keyboard-use, at best.

Walk into the Apple shop in Varna, 3 Euros and I'm back in action.

ahhhh fuck..it was probably my fault clacking too hard.

Good sushi here and my dry February has happily turned into large pints of Kamenitza...

Cheers from Bulgaria, you fucks..

I am embrassed.. :(

Situation was..

It was 3-4 months ago I written the process but now client was saying it is not working so I just need to update value in array..

I spent 2-3 hours everything was good..
only in the statement where I am assigning the value is not working.
I was like dude wtf call your senior why its not working .. everything is correct.. then suddenly my eyes catch the rubbish thing I did..

this is what I used mistakenly for assignment "=="

:( and I was looking at statement from 1-2 hour.. it just wasted my time

Background: Process issue in the plant that the workers said was a software problem. I’m a Software Dev Manager

Exec: This is broken and it is a software problem. We just noticed it this week.

Me: Couldn’t have been us, relevant code was changed this time last year. Sounds like a process issue.

Exec: Can you give me an exact date it was changed last year?

Me: (Seriously, WTF?... checks git...) It was changed on December 2nd, 2016. Couldn’t have been us.

Exec: Can you detail that change for us?

Me: (GTFO) No, not my problem, stop trying to make it my problem.

So I recently finished my Abi (final school exams thing in germany) and got relatively good grades. My IT grades were good, I was best of the class. So two local companies gave me some neat gifts (the best of the class always reveive some presents). One of the companies I was thinking about applying to even gifted me a Bluetooth speaker (thanks for that!).
Now comes the bad part: I looked up the speaker on amazon and now it thinks I want to buy it. I get ads from that exact speaker EVERYWHERE although I already own it. And no, amazon doesn't even think about showing me ads of other articles I've been looking at way more often and way longer.

Wtf.

So we have this team that deploys some code. We had a change in that code that "we" forgot about. Turns out, a dev on our team decided it would be cool to rename an endpoint. Why? Great question. Because. So this code gets deployed, but the call to that endpoint didn't get deployed. System 2 tries to call the endpoint, 404. We roll back, we're searching, after like an hour, we find it. We go to TFS to see who did it. The dev grabs my keyboard and starts checking diffs, somehow managing to skip their commit (from 5 months earlier). I take back my keyboard and *surprise* it was the commit that was skipped. WTF? Why did you rename that endpoint? What do you mean you didn't do it? It has your name right there!

I truly hate PHP because I know nothing about it. I thought writing an API would be cool and it was until PHP stopped cooperating. Why won't my API communicate with my app WTF!? It's like it's not even there even though Apache is clearly serving the page.

Ok.... why doesn't this come in an ISO... or a more straightforward downloader.... WTF!

I just want core and maybe C++.... and it's for a future install.... I have 2015... not gonna upgrade til I have to upgrade Windows or get a new PC... Was just planning to save it on my external HDD...

I forgot about October...

Now those November deadlines look more reasonable.

I realized because I was checking when is get my mail-in ballot and apparently it needs to be returned by Nov 3. And well today is Sep 17...

It also recommended sending it back 2wks before which would be like now.

So I had a melt down like wtf, I didn't get it yet!!!

And then well... Yea...

So I was just wondering why is do Snapchat take worse photos on android but we have better cameras so I download and check the source code naturally I check the source code and lo and behold I see this apparently snap for android doesn't use the camera it just screenshots it wtf?

I understand the muggles on Facebook saying it was Apple and Amazon that were hacked, but here on devrant where people know WTF is up, I'm still not seeing people say where the hack actually took place, and what makes the news truly terrifying: SMC.

So a few weeks ago my colleague needed to generate some self signed certificates for our web application, we're working on.
I've sent him some instructions on how to do that. No big deal, few terminal commands.
The only trick was the commands were written for linux and we're using windows.
So... my colleague calls me, having some issues with certificates. He explains to me what commands he managed to execute, etc. There was also command "sudo" included.
He inputs the command to terminal and... terminal eats it?! Wtf?
So long story short he managed to install "sudo" for windows powershell terminal :D. It basically just gives you some UAC popup confirmation dialog and then executes the command.

What the fuck is this piece of shit called Ubuntu? I was writing an automation tool on my local PC (ArchLinux) in c++ 17 (c++1z or whatever). Finished it today. Working and compiling so everything is fine. Went to my server, git clone, make.

Okay some errors because I havent installed my networking libs yet. So I installed them.

Make.

Error because I was using a c++ feature only available in c++ 17. But wtf. I told g++ I wanted to compile with c++ 17 support. I mean... On arch it compiled fine. On centOS it at least told me that it doesn't know c++1z (it was some really old centOS). BUT JUST TELLING ME ITS BECAUSE I SUCK AT PROGRAMMING?? THAT IS SO NOT OKAY. MY CODE IS LEGIT ISO C++ 17. FUCK UBUNTU. Installing Arch on my server now because I can't handle this shit anymore...

I don't have to deal with this, cuz I know I am shitty dev..
I get the job done, most of the time better than the previous devs on this project.. but if you drop me in an entry level interview, I know I'd flunk it.. big time.. I don't have the necessary theoretical knowledge and my terminology sux..
Was discussing new hires with my boss and he was like wtf you're talking about, you're a senior.. I'd consider myself a middle at best due to lack of theoretical knowledge..

WTF!!!! I come back from a 1 week vacation and nothing has been done and some things seem to have gone to shit...

I transferred the responsibility of running and supporting a report thats supposed to go live to someone else. I show up today and check and well none of the reports for the last 2 weeks were run (first report was already late).

I sent out a few emails asking for feedback on a new JSON log I wanted to add so it can be used by ELK. The people I was asking (a senior dev on a sister team that shares ownership) never replied like he said he would.

One hour before demo of interface
Me: Let's run through demo
Me: Errors WTF it was okay yesterday
Me: Let's debug.
Debugger: Function module not found
Me: I got error saying module not found
Other dev: Yes we changed the name of function and all arguments.
Client: Waiting for demo
Me:**********CENSORED**********

There was a big hairy ball of SW mud from another project that a poor coworker had to "reuse". Only that it was impossible because there was no documentation, shit was partly auto-generated with mysterious Excel tables, and the actual code was just as bad. No APIs and nothing, just hacking shit into globals, several nested state machines that were overriding each other's states, and with global side effects. WTF.

Two devs took a look at it - minimum 8 weeks. Schedule was some days, and PM insisted that it was "already working". But the worst thing was that the dev in charge had been looking for another job anyway and quit, so the whole clusterfuck suddenly was on my desk.

The code was so awful that I could only bear it with both eyes closed, so I instead read the spec of this project closely. Turned out that it didn't actually demand this feature, only a small subset of what the ball of mud was supposed to achieve - which I was able to implement from scratch within a day, plus another one for documentation. Phew.

So one of the PMs arranged a meeting last week for today, where he was going to "talk to us about a project we're currently working on".

Today the PM was off, so myself and a few other managers attended said meeting. Once everyone was in, one of the managers looked around, then at me and stated: "Have you not prepared your handover for this meeting?". I was just sat there like "WTF? What handover!?"

Apparently the PM decided to raise a meeting saying he was going to talk about the project, but then told all the other managers I was going to give a handover. He told everyone, but me!!

No wonder he didn't show up for it -.-

This is a real history..

So i went to my friend’s party.. and he invited this hot girl.. (u know the girl that would never talk to any programmer)..
so she started asking me about programming, maths, software...

and I was like wtf.. is this real? (because u guys know that this is impossible jaja)
Actually, we spent all night talking about it..

for some reason she started hanging out with me and my friend..

now we are dating.. kind of crazy uh?
(she is an engineer btw)

Finally solved the most elusive bug I have ever encountered.

It only occurred in chrome and the reason I could never recreate it is because it didn't happen when developer tools was open WTF!

Try solving an apparent JS bug without your console - I've never been this happy/relieved!

I don't understand wtf is happening today..

- in project A, terraform suddenly decided to stop working with kubernetes-related providers -- the CA cert mismatch error. I agree, it should be not working, because there are 2 kube-api severs behind an LB. But why now??? Why was it working for the last 2 months, until NOW????

- in project B, terraform suddenly decided to stop working _correctly_ with kubernetes-related providers -- it doesn't find resources randomly, even though they are available and I can see them via kubectl get. TF_LOG=DEBUG shows terraform sending correct requests to the kube-api, but the response is a 404. wtf... I see those resources present in another terminal window, only using kubectl. wtf....

- my PR in github was commented, I wanted to ask a question seconds later, and I'm getting a 502 from GH

wtf... I can't spot a pattern and that drives me freaking crazy.

Is this the Friday's curse...? IDK

Fuck this shit! We had bug on website when tinymce was showing broken tables and could not save them correctly. So, the first thing you think about is tinymce is fucked up and you have to either upgrade, downgrade or fix it fucking yourself. Well, I spend more than hour tryingto figure this out. Then I found out that some fucker set column length in DB where data are stored to varchar 800!!! WTF, are you fucking serious?

I`m new to coding. So i`m also new at ranting.

I know i have something to rant about. But my nerd culture is just not yet at the level.

I have been taught by a mate to used linux and started vanilla javascript. We use intellj as IDE.

So i have to speak to this client whose previous IT provider was gonna code his thing with ASP and visual studio!!!
Right?! WTF?!!! But that`s all i got!!!!

Im pretty sure its a wtf?! But i don`t have the rock solid reasons why.

Please ranters help me become better at rantong and tell me i`m not wrong and why ;)

Had a deal with a client that i’ll make a website for him in a month because I have other jobs that i need to finish first. I called him 2 days ago i said that i’ll upload the website for confirmation of the design in a few days, he says ok. I get around to it, developed the frontend on localhost, put it on my server for him to approve and sent him the link. He said something about a specific photo not being grayscale or whatever - I don’t even have any info for the site that he sent, got confused, ok.. I go to his old website to get some information onto the new one, surprise surprise a new website that I don’t have anything to do with appeared. Wtf, check the ftp - was uploaded 5 days ago. Fml just wasted a day and got no sleep. 99.9% that i wont get paid. Bamboozled. Cant sleep, wtf

Who else is fed up of memes on Facebook like 'She was upset because I didn't talk to her. She didn't know that it was because I missed a semicolon in my code'

Really?? WTF compiler do you use dude? Because of such shitty memes, couple of my non-dev friends asked me how frequently I miss the semicolon in my code?! I said never because:
1. I am not a dumb coder to compile my programs with any syntax errors.
2. Even if I do, I fix it in a minute.

:| WTF really! These dumbheads don't make memes on bugs.