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Search - "sanity"
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Good Morning!, its time for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!
Todays contestant is a very special one.
*sitcom audience: WHY?*
Glad you asked, you see if you were to look at his linkedin profile, you would see a job title unlike any you've seen before.
*sitcom audience oooooooohhhhhh*
were not talking software developer, engineer, tech lead, designer, CTO, CEO or anything like that, No No our new entrant "G" surpasses all of those with the title ..... "Software extraordinaire".
*sitcom audience laughs hysterically*
I KNOW!, wtf does that even mean! as a previous dev-ranter pointed out does this mean he IS quality code? I'd say he's more like a trash can ... where his code belongs
*ba dum tsssss*
Ok ok, lets get on with the show, heres some reasons why "G" is on the show:
One of G's tasks was to build an analytics gathering library for iOS, similar to google analytics where you track pages and events (we couldn't use google's). G was SO good at this job he implemented 2 features we didn't even ask for:
- If the library was unable to load its config file (for any reason) it would throw an uncatchable system integrity error, crashing the app.
- If anything was passed into any of the functions that wasn't expected (null, empty array etc.) it would crash the app as it was "more efficient" to not do any sanity checks inside the library.
This caused a lot of issues as some of the data needed to come from the clients server. The day we launched the app, within the first 3 hours we had over 40k crash logs and a VERY angry client.
Now, what makes this story important is not the bugs themselves, come on how many times have we all done something stupid? No the issue here was G defended all of this as the right thing to do!
.. and no he wasn't stoned or drunk!
G claimed if he couldn't get the right settings / params he wouldn't be able to track the event and then our CEO wouldn't have our usage data. To which I replied:
"So your solution was to not give the client an app instead? ... which also doesn't give the CEO his data".
He got very angry and asked me "what would you do then?". I offered a solution something like why not have a default tag for "error" or "unknown" where if theres an issue, we send up whatever we have, plus the file name and store it somewhere else. I was told I was being ridiculous as it wasn't built to track anything like that and that would never work ... his solution? ... pull the library out of the app and forget it.
... once again giving everyone no data.
G later moved onto another cross-platform style project. Backend team were particularly unhappy as they got no spec of what needed to be done. All they knew was it was a single endpoint dealing with very complex model. There was no Java classes, super classes, abstract classes or even interfaces, just this huge chunk of mocked data. So myself and the lead sat down with him, and asked where the interfaces for the backend where, or designs / architecture for them etc.
His response, to this day frightens me ... not makes me angry, not bewilders me ... scares the living shit out of me that people like this exist in the world and have successful careers.
G: "hhhmmm, I know how to build an interface, but i've never understood them ... Like lets say I have an interface, what now? how does that help me in any way? I can't physically use it, does it not just use up time building it for no reason?"
us: "... ... how are the backend team suppose to understand the model, its types, integrate it into the other systems?"
G: "Can I not just tell them and they can write it down?"
**
I'll just pause here for a moment, as you'll likely need to read that again out of sheer disbelief
**
I've never seen someone die inside the way the lead did. He started a syllable and his face just dropped, eyes glazed over and he instantly lost all the will to live. He replied:
" wel ............... it doesn't matter ... its not important ... I have to go, good luck with the project"
*killed the screen share and left the room*
now I know you are all dying in suspense to know what happened to that project, I can drop the shocking bombshell that it was in fact cancelled. Thankfully only ~350 man hours were spent on it
... yep, not a typo.
G's crowning achievement however will go down in history. VERY long story short, backend got deployed to the server and EVERYTHING broke. Lead investigated, found mistakes and config issues on every second line, load balancer wasn't even starting up. When asked had this been tested before it was deployed:
G: "Yeah I tested it on my machine, it worked fine"
lead: "... and on the server?"
G: "no, my machine will do the same thing"
lead: "do you have a load balancer and multiple VM's?"
G: "no, but Java is Java"
... and with that its time to end todays episode. Will G be our most incompetent? ... maybe.
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!31 -
Its Friday, you all know what that means! ... Its results day for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!
*audience: wwwwwwooooooooo!!!!*
We've had a bewildering array of candidates, lets remind ourselves:
- a psychopath that genuinely scared me a little
- a CEO I would take pleasure seeing in pain
- a pothead who mistook me for his drug dealer
- an unbelievable idiot
- an arrogant idiot obsessed with strings
Tough competition, but there can be only one ... *drum roll* ... the winner is ... none of them!
*audience: GASP!*
*audience member: what?*
*audience member: no way!*
*audience member: your fucking kidding me!*
Sir calm down! this is a day time show, no need for that ... let me explain, there is a winner ... but we've kept him till last and for a good reason
*audience: ooooohhhhh*
You see our final contestant and ultimate winner of this series is our good old friend "C", taking the letters of each of our previous contestants, that spells TRAGIC which is the only word to explain C.
*audience: laughs*
Oh I assure you its no laughing matter. C was with us for 6 whole months ... 6 excruciatingly painful months.
Backstory:
We needed someone with frontend, backend and experience with IoT devices, or raspberry PI's. We didn't think we'd get it all, but in walked an interviewee with web development experience, a tiny bit of Angular and his masters project was building a robot device that would change LED's depending on your facial expressions. PERFECT!!!
... oh to have a time machine
Working with C:
- He never actually did the tutorials I first set him on for Node.js and Angular 2+ because they were "too boring". I didn't find this out until some time later.
- The first project I had him work on was a small dashboard and backend, but he decided to use Angular 1 and a different database than what we were using because "for me, these are easier".
- He called that project done without testing / deploying it in the cloud, despite that being part of the ticket, because he didn't know how. Rather than tell or ask anyone ... he just didn't do it and moved on.
- As part of his first tech review I had to explain to him why he should be using if / else, rather than just if's.
- Despite his past experience building server applications and dashboards (4 years!), he never heard of a websocket, and it took a considerable amount of time to explain.
- When he used a node module to open a server socket, he sat staring at me like a deer caught in headlights completely unaware of how to use / test it was working. I again had to explain it and ultimately test it for him with a command line client.
- He didn't understand the need to leave logging inside an application to report errors. Because he used to ... I shit you not ... drive to his customers, plug into their server and debug their application using a debugger.
... props for using a debugger, but fuck me.
- Once, after an entire 2 days of tapping me on the shoulder every 15 mins for questions / issues, I had to stop and ask:
Me: "Have you googled it?"
C: "... eh, no"
Me: "can I ask why?"
C: "well, for me, I only google for something I don't know"
Me: "... well do you know what this error message means?"
C: "ah good point, i'll try this time"
... maybe he was A's stoner buddy?
- He burned through our free cloud usage allowance for a month, after 1 day, meaning he couldn't test anything else under his account. He left an application running, broadcasting a lot of data. Turns out the on / off button on the dashboard only worked for "on". He had been killing his terminal locally and didn't know how to "ctrl + c a cloud app" ... so left it running. His intention was to restart the app every time you are done using it ... but forgot.
- His issue with the previous one ... not any of his countless mistakes, not the lack of even trying to make the button work, no, no, not for C. C's issue is the cloud is "shit" for giving us such little allowances. (for the record in a month I had never used more than 5%).
- I had to explain environment variables and why they are necessary for passwords and tokens etc. He didn't know it wasn't ok to commit these into GitHub.
- At his project meetups with partners I had to repeatedly ask him to stop googling gifs and pay attention to the talks.
- He complained that we don't have 3 hour lunch breaks like his last place.
- He once copied and pasted the same function 450 times into a file as a load test ... are loops too mainstream nowadays?
You see C is our winner, because after 6 painful months (companies internal process / requirements) he actually achieved nothing. I really mean that, nothing. Every thing was so broken, so insecure / wide open, built without any kind of common sense or standards I had to delete it all and start again ... it took me 2 weeks.
I hope you've all enjoyed this series and will join me in praying for the return of my sanity ... I do miss it a lot.
Yours truly,
practiseSafeHex20 -
I lost my sanity and googled ”FUCK YOU XCODE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”...
That's how I found devRant.9 -
Recipe for a Great Programmer:
Ingredients:
-Books for a computer science curriculum from a top university
-Computer
-Headphones
-Internet
-Stress ball
-Pillow
-Lighter fluid
-Food
Directions:
1. Cover computer science books with lighter fluid
2. Light books on fire
3. Use flames to cook an energy-rich meal for the thousands of hours ahead
4. Pick an IDE
5. Choose a project beyond current capabilities. Good ways to push boundaries:
- Unfamiliar domain (e.g. large scale data processing, UI programming, high performance computing, games)
- Exotic programming language
- Larger in scope than any project before
6. Shut up about your IDE
7. Attempt to build
8. Stop procrastinating on Hacker News
9. Re-attempt to build
10. Squeeze stress ball and scream into pillow as necessary to keep sanity
When stuck:
- Paste stack traces into Google
- Find appropriate mailing list to get guidance
- Realize that real learning happens when you are stuck, uncomfortable, and/or frustrated
- Seek out books, classes, or other resources AFTER you have a good understanding of your deficiencies
11. Repeat #4 to #10 for at least 10 years
12. Results guaranteed! (to the same extent static types guarantee bug-free programs)
source: nathanmarz.com4 -
*deep breath*
Remain calm, don’t freak out, remain calm, don’t freak out.
*deep breath*
Ok, so my sort of new manager (had a slightly different manger-ish role on the team), has for the third time in as many months, just sent an email criticizing the dev team for our working from home-ness (which for the record has not been that bad, 2/3 or 3/3 have been in everyday for the past month)
In this same period, there has been late nights, weekends, successful releases, I’ve been invited to talk at a conference about my work (not a particularly big one, but still). Point is, everything is going well, very well in fact.
There has been no emails discussing our great work, thanking us for extra work, thanking us for picking up slack from other teams who are down a few people etc. no our major concern it seems is the “optics” of our team not being present in the open space.
Our contracts list flexible working hours, and his boss has frequently told us WFH is fine when things are too busy. But no he is complaining for us to get our hours in the office in line and make sure we are in the office more.
It’s been a particularly long and frustrating week, and I’m very tempted to inform him that if he is concerned about my chair and desk looking empty, that I can put them somewhere for him where they will always be occupied until a surgeon can remove them.
However, thanks to the deep breaths, I’ve managed to restrain myself long enough to run this past you all first and ask advice.
Please help,
Sincerely,
My sanity15 -
There is a russian cartoon called Fixiks (“Фиксики”, tiny fixers) which is about tiny creatures that live inside tech and fix it when it breaks without the owner knowing. This is a fun, family-friendly cartoon rated 3+ filled with approachable explanations of how does common tech stuff around us work: TVs, washing machines, etc.
However, there is one weird, super grim episode about one such creature who forgot to leave a TV he was living inside that is being thrown away and ending up on the scrapyard.
Having no choice but to follow his purpose, he becomes obsessive trying to fix an endless amount of broken tech there, with new broken stuff being delivered to that scrapyard every moment. After a while, he completely loses his sanity.
That episode displays what seems like a weird mix of schizophrenia and OCD. Having a psychological trauma he fails to recognize the rescue team of his own kind, attacking them. He loses his ability to talk, resorting to random screams of aggression.
This episode doesn’t really feature even a single explanation of how something works. It just is there somehow among the episodes of a casual, happy cartoon for children.
Needless to say, this is my favorite episode.12 -
I've been away... for too long. But today I have an announcement.
I've finally resigned from the Navy.
Little backstory: I have been thinking to resign since my last year as an Ensign, and I finally gained enough skill (and confidence) to make a CV and send it to a few companies. And lo and behold, a company actually was interested.
To be stupidly honest, maybe other factors certainly have played a part, but hey, I actually got a position in the sector I am interested and somewhat good: networks, sysadmin and security.
The CO and XO at my ship were mostly like "meh, he will retract his resignation, why would he want to leave, he is not serious". Until a few days ago, when they realised that I do not operate that way. And now panic has spread among them. I have designed and deployed quite some systems on the ship, both hardware and software, and now... history repeats again. This had happened to EVERY ship I've served before, but now, it will be permanent. And, oh boy, their faces and behaviour when the facts finally sank in... to quote a big mind of YouTube, "Not enough popcorn on Earth".
So, no more new Navy tech stories, but at least I am gaining my sanity back. I've even halved my cigarette and coffee consumption. I'll try to keep in touch with DevRant, but things are quite chaotic now (for them, anyway). But, for now, all I can think of is...12 -
One of our teachers developed a website for our university about three years ago. That was something like assignments management system + social network + schedule, everything in the world as one website.
It seemed like he didn't put any code escaping at all. Injected a block of CSS that made the entire page slowly fade away when some user tried to look at my page. Other teachers stared at it as if it was pure magic, doubting their sanity.
Still isn't fixed btw :)6 -
Had a job interview recently that went well besides one little disagreement... and it has made me question my sanity. Tell me if I'm wrong.
They asked the difference between a GET and POST request.
Wow, that's an easy one, they're giving me a break, I thought to myself.
I said "GET is used to retrieve data from a server, whereas POST is used to add data to a server, via it's body, which a GET lacks" or something like that.
They were like "ya mostly, but GET can be used to enter data into the server too. We were just looking for the body thing."
And I'm like.... yeah, you could do that, but that's not what it's meant for.
They mention stuff about query parameters and I hold steady that GET and POST are different because GET has a specific purpose. Otherwise, we wouldn't need the "method" part of an HTTP request at all. We could just either include a body or not include a body.
I ended it with "Well, POST implies that you are adding data to a server, and GET implies you are querying data from the server. When I'm reading documentation, that's how I quickly determine what an endpoint does."
My confidence was a little shaken at this point. Crazy what two people with (I assume at least) 10+ years of experience telling you you're wrong will do to your confidence.21 -
Eh ehe hehe he eh ehehe
On top of burnout, codebase issues, spec issues, burnout, the product butt that keeps on crapping, burnout, burnout, loathing for my employer... My local Apple SSL cert expired. I can’t finish this and push it anywhere for testing. I can’t even run my own specs anymore. And I don’t have permissions to make a new one. I can’t do anything at all.
Ehe he hehe
Deadline is in two days, and I’m just sitting here laughing quietly to myself. I might finally be going crazy
I found a loose bit of tangle, started to pull, and the world decided it was time to fall apart. Reality said it’s time to go. And I wasn’t even a good screwdriver dev. Byeee ~random root’s mind says no specs say no ssl says no ehehe sanity says no product says more more more! codebase says no screwdriver says no 🤪 reality says no burnout says no12 -
POSTMORTEM
"4096 bit ~ 96 hours is what he said.
IDK why, but when he took the challenge, he posted that it'd take 36 hours"
As @cbsa wrote, and nitwhiz wrote "but the statement was that op's i3 did it in 11 hours. So there must be a result already, which can be verified?"
I added time because I was in the middle of a port involving ArbFloat so I could get arbitrary precision. I had a crude desmos graph doing projections on what I'd already factored in order to get an idea of how long it'd take to do larger
bit lengths
@p100sch speculated on the walked back time, and overstating the rig capabilities. Instead I spent a lot of time trying to get it 'just-so'.
Worse, because I had to resort to "Decimal" in python (and am currently experimenting with the same in Julia), both of which are immutable types, the GC was taking > 25% of the cpu time.
Performancewise, the numbers I cited in the actual thread, as of this time:
largest product factored was 32bit, 1855526741 * 2163967087, took 1116.111s in python.
Julia build used a slightly different method, & managed to factor a 27 bit number, 103147223 * 88789957 in 20.9s,
but this wasn't typical.
What surprised me was the variability. One bit length could take 100s or a couple thousand seconds even, and a product that was 1-2 bits longer could return a result in under a minute, sometimes in seconds.
This started cropping up, ironically, right after I posted the thread, whats a man to do?
So I started trying a bunch of things, some of which worked. Shameless as I am, I accepted the challenge. Things weren't perfect but it was going well enough. At that point I hadn't slept in 30~ hours so when I thought I had it I let it run and went to bed. 5 AM comes, I check the program. Still calculating, and way overshot. Fuuuuuuccc...
So here we are now and it's say to safe the worlds not gonna burn if I explain it seeing as it doesn't work, or at least only some of the time.
Others people, much smarter than me, mentioned it may be a means of finding more secure pairs, and maybe so, I'm not familiar enough to know.
For everyone that followed, commented, those who contributed, even the doubters who kept a sanity check on this without whom this would have been an even bigger embarassement, and the people with their pins and tactical dots, thanks.
So here it is.
A few assumptions first.
Assuming p = the product,
a = some prime,
b = another prime,
and r = a/b (where a is smaller than b)
w = 1/sqrt(p)
(also experimented with w = 1/sqrt(p)*2 but I kept overshooting my a very small margin)
x = a/p
y = b/p
1. for every two numbers, there is a ratio (r) that you can search for among the decimals, starting at 1.0, counting down. You can use this to find the original factors e.x. p*r=n, p/n=m (assuming the product has only two factors), instead of having to do a sieve.
2. You don't need the first number you find to be the precise value of a factor (we're doing floating point math), a large subset of decimal values for the value of a or b will naturally 'fall' into the value of a (or b) + some fractional number, which is lost. Some of you will object, "But if thats wrong, your result will be wrong!" but hear me out.
3. You round for the first factor 'found', and from there, you take the result and do p/a to get b. If 'a' is actually a factor of p, then mod(b, 1) == 0, and then naturally, a*b SHOULD equal p.
If not, you throw out both numbers, rinse and repeat.
Now I knew this this could be faster. Realized the finer the representation, the less important the fractional digits further right in the number were, it was just a matter of how much precision I could AFFORD to lose and still get an accurate result for r*p=a.
Fast forward, lot of experimentation, was hitting a lot of worst case time complexities, where the most significant digits had a bunch of zeroes in front of them so starting at 1.0 was a no go in many situations. Started looking and realized
I didn't NEED the ratio of a/b, I just needed the ratio of a to p.
Intuitively it made sense, but starting at 1.0 was blowing up the calculation time, and this made it so much worse.
I realized if I could start at r=1/sqrt(p) instead, and that because of certain properties, the fractional result of this, r, would ALWAYS be 1. close to one of the factors fractional value of n/p, and 2. it looked like it was guaranteed that r=1/sqrt(p) would ALWAYS be less than at least one of the primes, putting a bound on worst case.
The final result in executable pseudo code (python lol) looks something like the above variables plus
while w >= 0.0:
if (p / round(w*p)) % 1 == 0:
x = round(w*p)
y = p / round(w*p)
if x*y == p:
print("factors found!")
print(x)
print(y)
break
w = w + i
Still working but if anyone sees obvious problems I'd LOVE to hear about it.36 -
Me when I'm forced, at gunpoint, to work with a butchered Wordpress site with 116 activated plugins.8
-
Grunt, gulp, bower, webpack, rollup, yarn, npm, requirejs, commonjs, browserify, brunch, rollup, parcel, fusebox, babel,
wrappers for bundlers, frameworks on frameworks, then for css, theres scss, sass, less, stylus, compass, and for templates, handlebars, mustache, nunjucks, underscore, ejs, pug, jade, and about five billion other word-salad tools, all with their own CLIs, each in some way building on npm, but with their own non-congruent little syntax, like no one realized they were reinventing the same problems introduced by domain specific languages, most happy to announce "configuration takes a little time, but it's worth it!"
No, it's not. Just stop people. Just stop. You're not doing anyone any favors by creating another lib, all you're doing is tooting your own horn and self promoting. Use what exists and stop creating more shit for new people to learn, to add to the giant clusterfuck that is the 2019 hotmess known as "web development."
You're not special. You're not important. You're lib or tool will be famous for 15 minutes and no one cares what you've made.
If you want to contribute to web development, do us all a favor and contribute to global sanity by kindly deleting your contribution and any plans to contribute new solutions to problems that have already been solved.18 -
It's getting close to that time of year when we are all encouraged to think of others and spread joy around the world. I've decided to go against my usual snarky/anti-social nature, and do something to help others this year.
I'm announcing the practiseSafeHex charitable fund, to give back and help others.
This fund will invest in cutting edge medical research to detect the genetic abnormality in humans that results in project managers not being able to comprehend the simplest of concepts.
Together we can find the reason why the concept "more meetings = less work" is uncomprehendible.
Together we can discover why we can't use an automated bot to generate reports, instead of spending hours in excel spreadsheets.
And together we will find a reason why the answer to the question "can we please just try it?" is always "No".
We do this not for ourselves for short term gains, we do this for the greater good. Together we can find the cause and build a test to filter these people out. So that never again will stressed out developers have to deal with these petty ridiculous issues.
Together, we will solve this!
Thanks,
practiseSafeHex, CEO and managing director of the practiseSafeHex charitable fund for the betterment of developer sanity10 -
Can I trust myself?
Start a new email in Outlook 2013. Drag an attachment onto it. Immediately double click the attachment to sanity check it's the right file.
"You should only open attachments from a trustworthy source."
Sigh.1 -
I did the thing and stuck it out at my shitty job. Tomorrow, I get to quit the most abusive place I have ever worked. I got a new job at a shop that's a 15 minute drive away vs an hour commute. No more SCRUM with a gun to my head. No more getting yelled at for learning on my own and not working fast enough. No more making Grindr, but for CEOs. I have never been so happy. Thank you for the encouragement to find something else. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for being there, and being my sanity, my safe place.9
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So I ve been clinically depressed for about 10 years now. Been really great at hiding it. My illness and loneliness was so severe that i made up imaginary friends and that got so severe i couldn't tell what s real and what s not. Then about 5 years ago, i met a girl. As the cliche goes, everything felt better. Sunshine and stuff. I opened up to her. Shared stuff. I started becoming normal. The pain became bearable and manageable. Turned to entrepreneurship. Had goals and stuff. Had 7 failed startups but kept on going. Raised investment for an 8th. It went better than anyother. Was going to become the next big thing bla bla. She became the reason i turned from being a loner weirdo to someone awesome. Anyway, as nothing tends to last, my best friend who had been through thick and thin in my work, quit last year in October. He messed up some work from big client nd we had a fight. He left. In the meantime i scored a big multinational company. I was gonna propose to my girlfriend in March this year. But instead she decided to leave for someone better who left her in 3 weeks lol. Anyways, we broke up. During that time, my second friend decided to fuck up my work with the big company so hard that they were about to blacklist my company. And then he left too. I had a small team. 4 5 people doing their best. By that time, i was the only one left. On 28th feb i had my breakup, on 1st march i was sitting 700 km away from home in an office trying to talk the company out of blacklisting us. It took me around 20 days to make that happen. All the while dealing with the obvious, my depression getting stronger than ever. My imaginations taking shape and fucking up my reality. The voices in my head getting stronget and stronger. 4 months now since she left. I dont think i miss her anymore. She tried coming back once but i didn't let her. In the 4 months, i m at my worst. I am getting government contracts now. But i have no desire to do anything. The pain is unbearable. So much that on its good days it sucks the life right out of me. So much that when it gets severe the urge to harm myself in any way goes of the charts. My best friend and i, we became friends again after my ex left. He s been helping me as much as he can. I have all the good oppurtunities and chances that any entrepreneur who has been busting his ass for 5 years straight would kill to have. But i cant do anything. I m the only one left on my team. I have to handle the business, dev, marketing etc etc ends on my own. I tried hiring and scaling up but i messed that up because of obvious reasons. And now my company has 2 months of runway left. And i know if i bust my ass i can make it to 8 months more and even raise a round a. But its really hard to do when either you re sleeping 20 hrs a day or you re sleeping 3 4 hrs because you re afraid of the nightmares. Or when even you ve had a good day, the pain becomes so much that you lay on the floor having a breakdown. Yeah, i m trying professional help. I m hoping it helps me. Because right now, i dont care about being happy. I just want my sanity. Something i m clinging to with every fiber of my being. Something that s burning out like a candle burning from both ends. I cant give up my work. I dont want to. That s all i have. That s all what i love doing and now i cant even do that. I just want this to end somehow. Either i get better and the pain and the void and silence and everything else goes away, or i do. I dont know what will happen first. And i dont care. I just want to be normal. But i guess that s too much to ask.8
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When a client reports a css bug in IE11 or Edge, I seriously doubt his/her sanity. For fucks sake it's 2018, please let IE go...7
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Find a place where management is able to handle some criticism.
I personally think Agile/Scrum is holy, and I don't mean "yeah we kind of do our own version of it", no, fucking do it by the book. The PM shouldn't assign estimates. Developers shouldn't receive bugfix requests from anyone other than the scrum master. The CTO can't be your scrum master... etc.
If a company can't answer the question "What were the points of feedback during the last retrospective(s), and how are those points being picked up?" -- Don't work there.
Many other things are optional in my opinion. I could work at a company without QA, without fruit baskets, table tennis, without Friday drinks. I could even live without git & continuous integration, just emailing patches to a patch integrator. I don't care.
But maintaining a safe bubble of serenity and sanity for devs to do their work in, that is an absolute must.
Also, option to WFH as much as wanted. Offices are nice for social bonding, but they kill productivity for me.6 -
Every year my team runs an award ceremony during which people win “awards” for mistakes throughout the year. This years was quite good.
The integration partner award- one of our sysAdmins was talking with a partner from another company over Skype and was having some issues with azure. He intended to send me a small rant but instead sent “fucking azure can go fuck itself, won’t let me update to managed disks from a vhd built on unmanaged” to our jv partner.
Sysadmin wannabe award (mine)- ran “Sudo chmod -R 700 /“ on one of our dev systems then had to spend the next day trying to fix it 😓
The ain’t no sanity clause award - someone ran a massive update query on a prod database without a where clause
The dba wannabe award - one of our support guys was clearing out a prod dB server to make some disk space and accidentally deleted one of the databases devices bringing it down.
The open source community award - one of the devs had been messing about with an apache proxy on a prod web server and it ended up as part of a botnet
There were others but I can’t remember them all4 -
Sometimes I have really loose the will to live and find myself face palming multiple times.
I added live chat software a web frontend for a client. Very easy job that consisted of pasting in some embed code. The actual software is very good and has native ios/andriod apps - something specifically requested.
I got a call from my client about an hour ago, saying there is a "serious issue with the live chat".
My client stated the live chat won't work when his staff go home. He asked me what my solution to this was.
Saying "wtf" many times to myself I directed him to a settings within the chat software i.e. an "away mode" where an email is sent when no chat agents are available.
This apparently wasn't good enough and said I hadn't followed his brief of "adding life chat software to the website", which I had.
After a lengthy discussion I found the root of his frustration. He'd signed a contract with a client of his own, stating there would be 24/7 support via live chat on the website.
Obviously there a huge difference between adding a chat widget to a website and committing to having it manned 24/7 :)
After a further 10 minutes of trying push the blame on myself, the client insisted of having the chat software "appear" as someone was always online, even when they are not (people need to sleep ya know!).
Bu design, the chat software requires at least one agent be logged in before the chat status changes to "online" - why wouldn't it.
After a little while I was seriously wondering why I'm involved in this conversation. I jokingly stated: "Well you could always install Andriod/iOS app on your phone, login and permanently leave it running in background. You'd get lots of notifications, but the site would say the live is always online".
The latter was something I said in jest. To my surprise the client said he'd do that on his own phone going forwards. He actually thanked me for my "resourcefulness", lol.
I'm looking at the same dashboard now and there are 407 pending chat requests - his phone must literally be blowing up notifications :)5 -
So day 2 of my python automations.
I have spent 6 hours and a lot of stack overflow “research” to saved myself 45 minutes a day with file downloads (web & ftp and outlook emails), excel spreadsheets and data manipulation macros, all stored in a nice tidy zip file at the end.
Now to find a way to send to a web server for digestion 😎
And all of this in a poor 90 lines 😧
God damn why didn’t I look into this earlier?2 -
Anyone else have to deal with an asshole who refuses to use the git repo? Not sure how much longer I can hold onto my sanity.9
-
"WTH! Get the fuck out of here, bitch!!".
I started a new job today (remote) and my first task was to improve product sign-up process, basically the UX is shit and the backend is even worse, never felt so bad looking at terrible software design my entire life and career. My first assignment was to introduce some sanity. (Mr. Supervisor's exact words)
Anyway, I report directly to upper management but need to get onboarded by current technology expert who's highly skilled at writing shitty code and is also stupid, literally.
It took the whole day to get him to grant access to the private repo in order to start working but that's not the story.
So, I'm seated, demoralised about the structure of software I have to work on and here I was refreshing localhost:7878 consistently and was consistently getting the message:
"WTH! Get the fuck out of here, bitch!!".
So, this same codebase I have is suppose to be the exact same one that's powering the app in production. I was furious and confused. Is stupid calling me a bitch already??? He wants to fuck??? What the hell!!!
I called him and turns out, I was suppose to switch branches. The branch I had was suppose to show that message intentionally (??!???!???) (His words exactly), I couldn't even muster the words "Why" completely before he hung up.
So basically, I got onboarded today. Quite successfully, I must add, because I know exactly the battlesuit I have to wear to my new remote job going forward!11 -
I've been away, lurking at the shadows (aka too lazy to actually log in) but a post from a new member intrigued me; this is dedicated to @devAstated . It is erratic, and VERY boring.
When I resigned from the Navy, I got a flood of questions from EVERY direction, from the lower rank personnel and the higher ups (for some reason, the higher-ups were very interested on what the resignation procedure was...). A very common question was, of course, why I resigned. This requires a bit of explaining (I'll be quick, I promise):
In my country, being in the Navy (or any public sector) means you have a VERY stable job position; you can't be fired unless you do a colossal fuck-up. Reduced to non-existent productivity? No problem. This was one of the reasons for my resignation, actually.
However, this is also used as a deterrent to keep you in, this fear of lack of stability and certainty. And this is the reason why so many asked me why I left, and what was I going to do, how was I going to be sure about my job security.
I have a simple system. It can be abused, but if you are careful, it may do you and your sanity good.
It all begins with your worth, as an employee (I assume you want to go this way, for now). Your worth is determined by the supply of your produced work, versus the demand for it. I work as a network and security engineer. While network engineers are somewhat more common, security engineers are kind of a rarity, and the "network AND security engineer" thing combined those two paths. This makes the supply of my work (network and security work from the same employee) quite limited, but the demand, to my surprise, is actually high.
Of course, this is not something easy to achieve, to be in the superior bargaining position - usually it requires great effort and many, many sleepless nights. Anyway....
Finding a field that has more demand than there is supply is just one part of the equation. You must also keep up with everything (especially with the tech industry, that changes with every second). The same rules apply when deciding on how to develop your skills: develop skills that are in short supply, but high demand. Usually, such skills tend to be very difficult to learn and master, hence the short supply.
You probably got asleep by now.... WAKE UP THIS IS IMPORTANT!
Now, to job security: if you produce, say, 1000$ of work, then know this:
YOU WILL BE PAID LESS THAN THAT. That is how the company makes profit. However, to maximize YOUR profit, and to have a measure of job security, you have to make sure that the value of your produced work is high. This is done by:
- Producing more work by working harder (hard method)
- Producing more work by working smarter (smart method)
- Making your work more valuable by acquiring high demand - low supply skills (economics method)
The hard method is the simplest, but also the most precarious - I'd advise the other two. Now, if you manage to produce, say, 3000$ worth of work, you can demand for 2000$ (numbers are random).
And here is the thing: any serious company wants employees that produce much more than they cost. The company will strive to pay them with as low a salary as it can get away with - after all, a company seeks to maximize its profit. However, if you have high demand - low supply skills, which means that you are more expensive to be replaced than you are to be paid, then guess what? You have unlocked god mode: the company needs you more than you need the company. Don't get me wrong: this is not an excuse to be unprofessional or unreasonable. However, you can look your boss in the eye. Believe me, most people out there can't.
Even if your company fails, an employee with valuable skills that brings profit tends to be snatched very quickly. If a company fires profitable employees, unless it hires more profitable employees to replace them, it has entered the spiral of death and will go bankrupt with mathematical certainty. Also, said fired employees tend to be absorbed quickly; after all, they bring profit, and companies are all about making the most profit.
It was a long post, and somewhat incoherent - the coffee buzz is almost gone, and the coffee crash is almost upon me. I'd like to hear the insight of the veterans; I estimate that it will be beneficial for the people that start out in this industry.2 -
Every time I interact with this DBA he treats me like I’m some fucking moron who barely knows what a query is. It doesn’t help that I can’t get him to understand a damned fucking thing, no matter what the topic is. We speak the same language, supposedly, but can barely communicate. I can’t even begin describe how his half of the conversations go because I am unable to follow much of it.
Maybe if I start aligning my fucking chakras and channeling my inner goddamn cosmic peace energy, or whatever it is he’s on about, he might start making more sense? I swear he’s been so high so often that he’s never quite come down.
There’s obviously a language barrier, somehow, but the guy is also such a douche every freaking time. Ugh.rant i could call him mr. mushroom? maybe it’s me? drugs are bad mmkay root queries the dba’s sanity13 -
My school just tried to hinder my revision for finals now. They've denied me access just today of SSHing into my home computer. Vim & a filesystem is soo much better than pen and paper.
So I went up to the sysadmin about this. His response: "We're not allowing it any more". That's it - no reason. Now let's just hope that the sysadmin was dumb enough to only block port 22, not my IP address, so I can just pick another port to expose at home. To be honest, I was surprised that he even knew what SSH was. I mean, sure, they're hired as sysadmins, so they should probably know that stuff, but the sysadmins in my school are fucking brain dead.
For one, they used to block Google, and every other HTTPS site on their WiFi network because of an invalid certificate. Now it's even more difficult to access google as you need to know the proxy settings.
They switched over to forcing me to remote desktop to access my files at home, instead of the old, faster, better shared web folder (Windows server 2012 please help).
But the worst of it includes apparently having no password on their SQL server, STORING FUCKING PASSWORDS IN PLAIN TEXT allowing someone to hijack my session, and just leaving a file unprotected with a shit load of people's names, parents, and home addresses. That's some super sketchy illegal shit.
So if you sysadmins happen to be reading this on devRant, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME BLOCKING MORE WEBSITES THAN THEIR ARE LIVING HUMANS, HOW ABOUT TRY UPPING YOUR SECURITY, PASSWORDS LIKE "", "", and "gryph0n" ARE SHIT - MAKE IT BETTER SO US STUDENTS CAN ACTUALLY BROWSE MORE FREELY - I THINK I WANT TO PASS, NOT HAVE EVERY OTHER THING BLOCKED.
Thankfully I'm leaving this school in 3 weeks after my last exam. Sure, I could stay on with this "highly reputable" school, but I don't want to be fucking lied to about computer studies, I don't want to have to workaround your shitty methods of blocking. As far as I can tell, half of the reputation is from cheating. The students and sysadmins shouldn't have to have an arms race between circumventing restrictions and blocking those circumventions. Just make your shit work for once.
**On second thought, actually keep it like that. Most of the people I see in the school are c***s anyway - they deserve to have half of everything they try to do censored. I won't be around to care soon.**undefined arms race fuck sysadmin ssh why can't you just have any fucking sanity school windows server security2 -
Woke up at 5am with the realization that I could use regular expressions to parse the string representation of regular expressions to build this program to parse regular expressions into more human-readable English.
I am so tired.7 -
Sometimes, when I think I'm going crazy, I open devrant and realize that I'm still very far from MadMen / YouAllSuck / AvatarOfKaine.5
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At a certain client, was asked to help them with an "intermediary" solution to stopgap a license renewal on their HR recruiting system.
This is something I was very familiar with, so no big. Did some requirements gathering, told them we could knock it out in 6 weeks.
We start the project, no problems, everything is fine until about 2.5 weeks in. At this point, someone demands that we engage with the testing team early. It grates a little as this client had the typical Indian outsourcing mega-corp pointey-clickey shit show "testing" (automation? Did you mean '10 additional testers?') you get at companies who put business people in charge of technology, but I couldn't really argue with it.
So we're progressing along and the project manager decides now is a great time to bugger the fuck off to India for 3 months, so she's totally gone. This is the point it goes off the rails. Without a PM to control the scope, the "lead tester," we'll call her Shrilldesi, proceeds to sit in a room and start trying to control the design of the system. Rather than testing anything in the specification, she just looked at the existing full HRIS recruiting system they were using and starts submitting bugs for missing features. The fuckwit serfs they'd assigned from HR to oversee this process just allowed it to happen totally losing focus on the fact this was an interim solution to hold them over for 6 months and avoid a contract renewal.
I get real passive aggressive at this point and refuse to deliver anything outside the original scope. We negotiate and end up with about 150% scope bloat and a now untenable timeline that we delivered about 2 weeks late, but in the end that absolute whore made my life a living hell for the duration of the project. She then got the recognition at the project release for her "excellent work," no mention of the people who actually did the work.
Tl;Dr people suck and if you value your sanity, you'll avoid companies that say things like, "we're not in the technology business" as an excuse to have shitty, ignorant staff.6 -
Ok, so when I inherit a Wordpress site I've really stopped expecting anything sane. Examples: evidence that the Wordpress "developer" (that term is used in the loosest sense possible) has thought about his/her code or even evidence that they're not complete idiots who wish to make my life hell going forwards.
Have a look at the screen shot below - this is from the theme footer, so loaded on every page. The screenshot only shows a small part of the file. IT LITERALLY HAS 3696 lines.
Firstly, lets excuse the frankly eye watering if statement to check for the post ID. That made me face palm myself immediately.
The insanity comes for the thousands of lines of JQuery code, duplicated to hell and back that changes the color of various dividers - that are scattered throughout the site.
To make things thousands of times worse, they are ALL HANDED CODED.
Even if JavaScript was the only way I could format these particular elements I certainly wouldn't duplicate the same code for every element. After copy and pasting that JQuery a couple of times and normal developer would think one word, pretty quickly - repetition.
When a good developer notes repetition ways to abstract crap away is the first thought that comes to mind.
Hell, when I was first learning to code god knows how long ago I always used functions to avoid repetition.
In this case, with a few seconds though this "developer" could have created a single JQuery handler and use data attributes within the HTML. Hell, as bad as that is, it's better than the monstrosity I'm looking at now.
I'm aware Wordpress is associated with bad developers due to it's low barrier to entry, but this site is something else.
The scary thing is that I know the agency that produced this. They are very large, use Wordpress exclusively and have some stupidly huge clients that would be know nationally.
Wordpress truly does attract some of the most awful "developers" and deserves it's reputation.
If you're a good developer and use Wordpress I feel sorry for you, as you're in small numbers from my experience.
Rant over, have vented a bit and feel better. Thanks Devrant.6 -
If ever your code breaks, just utter these words and it will magically fix itself:
"Wtf. Hey [coworker name], Can you sanity check this code? I don't know why this segfaults! It looks fine but you just run it and it bre- oh wait... I swear it didn't work a minute ago."6 -
That's it, I'm done. My sincere condolences go to the poor soul that will have to maintain this complete and utter crap of code, as I have been doing the past 2 weeks.
3-4 big 4K+ lines files of completely unindented, practically undocumented, interspersed HTML, PHP, JavaScript and CSS! All in the same file.
All the function and variable names are complete nonsense. You might as well have smashed your head against the keyboard and let whatever came out be the names.
You took all the naming conventions that you could find and unleashed your seriously damaged imagination. lowerCamelCase, UpperCamelCase, snakecase, everything in the same fucking function name.
I really needed the money from this project. But I'm done. My mental sanity is more important that try to figure out how to make a decent and usable webpage of THIS COMPLETE DISASTER.
You, the one before me. If you wanted to make sure that no one else besides you could work with this crap, then congrats, YOU FUCKING DID IT WITH HONORS. FUCKING SUMMA CUM LAUDE. PhD and all.4 -
See, static typing? that shit is for putos. You think you're so cool with your advanced intellisense being able to tell you "yo....dat shit ain't the type you think it is" or your compiler telling you "yo dumbass, you fucked this parameter up in here, you are doing <x> when in reality you should be doing #@$@#$@!<X at line !@#@#$#>"
pfffft static typing. Such a pansy ass thing to worry about.
Picture us, working outside of the safety net of static typing, as jungle explorers, walking slowly, with a machete in hand and our other hand clutched tightly at our hip pistol, not knowing what to shoot at, but eagerly prepared for when shit fucks up because whatever the fuck you did was not properly safeguarded by a compiler to tell you that you fucked up, even if the compiler message is unintelligible (looking at you C and C++)
We is men here, we is brave retarded adventurers.
As our sanity blips into oblivion and we look at our code that has no sort of type checking expecting our shitty intellisense extensions to protect us....
Edit: if you can't understand the sarcasm in here and the plea for sanity then you are obviously a retard and have no place in the world of development21 -
I'm coming off a lengthy staff augmentation assignment awful enough that I feel like I need to be rehabilitated to convince myself that I even want to be a software developer.
They needed someone who does .NET. It turns out what they meant was someone to copy and paste massive amounts of code that their EA calls a "framework." Just copy and paste this entire repo, make a whole ton of tweaks that for whatever reason never make their way back into the "template," and then make a few edits for some specific functionality. And then repeat. And repeat. Over a dozen times.
The code is unbelievable. Everything is stacked into giant classes that inherit from each other. There's no dependency inversion. The classes have default constructors with a comment "for unit testing" and then the "real" code uses a different one.
It's full of projects, classes, and methods with weird names that don't do anything. The class and method names sound like they mean something but don't. So after a dozen times I tried to refactor, and the EA threw a hissy fit. Deleting dead code, reducing three levels of inheritance to a simple class, and renaming stuff to indicate what it does are all violations of "standards." I had to go back to the template and start over.
This guy actually recorded a video of himself giving developers instructions on how to copy and paste his awful code.
Then he randomly invents new "standards." A class that reads messages from a queue and processes them shouldn't process them anymore. It should read them and put them in another queue, and then we add more complication by reading from that queue. The reason? We might want to use the original queue for something else one day. I'm pretty sure rewriting working code to meet requirements no one has is as close as you can get to the opposite of Agile.
I fixed some major bugs during my refactor, and missed one the second time after I started over. So stuff actually broke in production because I took points off the board and "fixed" what worked to add back in dead code, variables that aren't used, etc.
In the process, I asked the EA how he wanted me to do this stuff, because I know that he makes up "standards" on the fly and whatever I do may or may not be what he was imagining. We had a tight deadline and I didn't really have time to guess, read his mind, get it wrong, and start over. So we scheduled an hour for him to show me what he wanted.
He said it would take fifteen minutes. He used the first fifteen insisting that he would not explain what he wanted, and besides he didn't remember how all of the code he wrote worked anyway so I would just have to spend more time studying his masterpiece and stepping through it in the debugger.
Being accountable to my team, I insisted that we needed to spend the scheduled hour on him actually explaining what he wanted. He started yelling and hung up. I had to explain to management that I could figure out how to make his "framework" work, but it would take longer and there was no guarantee that when it was done it would magically converge on whatever he was imagining. We totally blew that deadline.
When the .NET work was done, I got sucked into another part of the same project where they were writing massive 500 line SQL stored procedures that no one could understand. They would write a dozen before sending any to QA, then find out that there was a scenario or two not accounted for, and rewrite them all. And repeat. And repeat. Eventually it consisted of, one again, copying and pasting existing procedures into new ones.
At one point one dev asked me to help him test his procedure. I said sure, tell me the scenarios for which I needed to test. He didn't know. My question was the equivalent of asking, "Tell me what you think your code does," and he couldn't answer it. If the guy who wrote it doesn't know what it does right after he wrote it and you certainly can't tell by reading it, and there's dozens of these procedures, all the same but slightly different, how is anyone ever going to read them in a month or a year? What happens when someone needs to change them? What happens when someone finds another defect, and there are going to be a ton of them?
It's a nightmare. Why interview me with all sorts of questions about my dev skills if the plan is to have me copy and paste stuff and carefully avoid applying anything that I know?
The people are all nice except for their evil XEB (Xenophobe Expert Beginner) EA who has no business writing a line of code, ever, and certainly shouldn't be reviewing it.
I've tried to keep my sanity by answering stackoverflow questions once in a while and sometimes turning evil things I was forced to do into constructive blog posts to which I cannot link to preserve my anonymity. I feel like I've taken a six-month detour from software development to shovel crap. Never again. Lesson learned. Next time they're not interviewing me. I'm interviewing them. I'm a professional.9 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
-
Holy fucking cockgoblin!
If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".
Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.
I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!16 -
looking at my uncle's webpage because he wants to switch hosts.
The logo has a white background, we want to change that.
Uncle: "It's not supposed to look like this"
Me: "the jpg file type is not transparent, you have to make something like a png."
U: *pulls up word* "hmm... I don't have that font on this laptop..."
M: *slowly loses sanity*1 -
i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!
Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.rant mysql legacy code gone wrong bourbon lots of bourbon why the fuck god no php sql injection ftw what in the flying fuck30 -
A meeting about defining the
definition of done (…)
I know I mentioned it before, but it’s beyond stupid.
- Lasted 2.5 hours
- Didn’t solve shit
- Could have been solved by adding a freaking column in our Jira, but someone wanted a physical board cause let’s waste paper I guess.
Just imagine 2.5 hours of continuous suggestions and stupid reject reasons.
Fun fact: it was called by a “senior” dev which rejected every single purposal cause they also didn’t want to change the process.
Idfk why I didn’t leave the company sooner, had to get a massive burnout before realising my sanity is worth more than being paid the minimum in the office.1 -
WebDev jobs should come with big warning signs:
"You absolutely will lose your sanity!"
"IE11 might indirectly lead to impotence!"
"You won't get laid more often by using CSS Grid!"
"You will have to fix websites which only appear broken on iOS Safari!"
"Get some extra terabytes ready for your node modules!"
"Get ready to yarnify your npm dockerized webassembly blobs while gulping on your mocha chai latte with no karma!"
Can't we just go back to the good old times with Quick Basic and chill?
Man, the ladies were flocking around those programmer boyz, I tell ya... Klickety klackety on the mechanical6 -
"I want visibility in the sprint", "Information for everyone! When you do even a small refactoring, you should add a card to the sprint, clear?"
Those were the words of the product manager.
That sounds reasonable but when there is a bug to investigate, he just pops to the chat channel throw a request with a bit of information and asks to check/fix that.
So to keep my sanity, I asked him to create a ticket with relevant information and additional observations so we can have visibility as he was advocating for it ;)
It felt just good to see him going silent :D3 -
!rant
Two years ago, I started to learn Ruby on Rails so I would at last know a server language even though it wasn't the almighty PHP. Two years ago minus a few months, I decided to put my first website online with Apache and Passenger. It took me a whole six hours with stress and cries for help until I finally saw my website's homepage displayed on my screen
Today, after a few more websites (and currently 3 more projects but still not released, dang it), I tried to update mySQL to 5.7 since I need it to be able to save arrays for a future project, but everything went full shitstorm with broken packages and lame-ass-shit tutorials that make you doubt your sanity.
So I decided to backup my database and my online websites and to reinstall the whole server and take advantage of it to update the current used gems (Rails 4.2 -> 5.1, not bad)
Not only it took me just a bit more than 2 hours to redeploy the websites, but I didn't felt at the edge of panicking once, and now everything works like a charm.
I feel fucking alpha now.2 -
GF: How was your pitch to investors?
Me: it was great (... went-ahead to talk about the daunting process of the preparation and motivation).
GF: Why do you go through all this process, when you can become a fraudster, you can use voodoo and make it even easier, in less than 3 months you can buy a duplex, nice car and we can go shopping... you don't need to do any human ritual unlike before - I heard you can even meet a chief priest to make it faster for you.
just get the bag abeg (slang for getting rich quick).
Me: Fuck the day I met you, not everyone wants to be a low-life, and fuck out from my life.
Men if you live in a saner society, or you are born to elite/upper-middle-class you don't how lucky you are.
Most times I wonder how I keep my sanity with all these shitty people around. like messed up society where almost everyone is a fucking deep hypocrite
.I know I need to change my circle but how the fuck do I do that when I am surrounded by fuckstards, which are far worst than Gypsies.
lowlifes with low dreams.
I need to get the fuck out of this place!15 -
4 hours! four fucking hours! f.o.u.r. h.o.u.r.s.!
It's the amount in the time domain this bug has cost me to fix. The cost in the sanity domain is immeasurable...
I swear, the god damn ass births of devs who coded this abomination should be slowly mutilated and then raped by their own severed limbs.
It took me 4 hours to figure out that their 12 year old binary CLI tool they used to generate PDFs from PHP could not handle neither HTML5 nor some linebreaks at specific places. Some part of it is due to them using REGEX to find and replace HTML tag.
Yes, I am indeed very pissed. And I need a 🥃 or 3
What we learned:
- Don't use REGEX to "parse" HTML
- Don't call random compiled CLI tools from PHP if there are PHP packages to do the same shit9 -
Hell World
So to followup with the enterprise grade goodness, I made a little prototype~
https://github.com/EnterpriseSoftwa...
Not very enterprise like yet, but a fun first 'extension' to writing a proper hello world program.
Ideas
--------
*Things that might make it more business like*
- Lots and lots of abstraction
- Tests ( not very business like but more stuff = better )
- FFI | Shared library, because why not
- Threading / workers
Hardcore:
Design a dedicated language for writing hello world programs that is compiled / interpreted on a simulated custom hello-world-cpu and displays it's content on a simulated screen.
Note
--------
I want to keep the documentation & code normal / actually helpful as a contrast to the concept itself and of course to keep my sanity.24 -
Honestly, nothing kills your brain cells faster than doing the same repetitive tasks at work, day in and day out. It’s like I'm just on autopilot—pushing buttons, running scripts, rinse, repeat. At some point, I start wondering if I’m a dev or just a glorified robot.
And to keep my sanity intact? Competitive programming. Yeah, that’s how I free my mind—throwing myself into algorithmic problems during my break time, just to remind myself that there’s more to life than the mundane loop of tasks at work. I’ll take an NP-hard problem over this any day. At least that makes me think.6 -
So we have an API that my team is supposed send messages to in a fire and forget kind of style.
We are dependent on it. If it fails there is some annoying manual labor involved to clean that mess up. (If it even can be cleaned up, as sometimes it is also time-sensitive.)
Yet once in a while, that endpoint just crashes by letting the request vanish. No response, no error, nothing, it is just gone.
Digging through the log files of that API nothing pops up. Yet then I realize the size of the log files. About ~30GB on good old plain text log files.
It turns out that that API has taken the LOG EVERYTHING approach so much too heart that it logs to the point of its own death.
Is circular logging such a bleeding edge technology? It's not like there are external solutions for it like loggly or kibana. But oh, one might have to pay for them. Just dump it to the disk :/
This is again a combination of developers thinking "I don't need to care about space! It's cheap!" and managers thinking "100 GB should be enough for that server cluster. Let's restrict its HDD to 100GB, save some money!"
And then, here I stand trying to keep my sanity :/1 -
Decided to stop lurking and sign up. Hi devRant. Thanks for all the sanity conservation you've provided me.3
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This begs for a rant... [too bad I can't post actual screenshots :/ ]
Me: He k8s team! We're having trouble with our k8s cluster. After scaling up and running h/c and Sanity tests environment was confirmed as Healthy and Stable. But once we'd started our load tests k8s cluster went out for a walk: most of the replicas got stoped and restarted and I cannot find in events' log WHY that happened. Could you please have a look?
k8s team [india]: Hello, thank you for reaching out to k8s support. We will check and let you know.
Me: Oh, you're welcome! I'll be just sitting here quietly and eagerly waiting for your reply. TIA! :slightly_smiling_face:
<5 minutes later>
k8s team India: Hi. Could you give me a list of replicas that were failing?
Me: I gave you a Grafana link with a timeframe filter. Look there -- almost all apps show instability at k8s layer. For instance APP_1 and APP_2 were OK. But APP_3, APP_4 and APP_5 were crashing all over the place
k8s team India: ok I will check.
<My shift has ended. k8s team works in different timezone. I've opened up Slack this morning>
k8s team India: HI. APP_1 and APP_2 are fine. I don't even see any errors from logs, no restarts. All response codes are 200.
Me: 🤦♂️ .... Man, isn't that what I've said? ... 🤦♂️5 -
So I joined this financial institution back in Nov. Selling themselves as looking for a developer to code micro-services for a Spring based project and deploying on Cloud. I packed my stuff, drove and moved to the big city 3500 km away. New start in life I thought!
Turns out that micro-services code is an old outdated 20 year old JBoss code, that was ported over to Spring 10 years ago, then let to rot and fester into a giant undocumented Spaghetti code. Microservices? Forget about that. And whats worse? This code is responsible for processing thousands of transactions every month and is currently deployed in PROD. Now its your responsibility and now you have to get new features complied on the damn thing. Whats even worse? They made 4 replicas of that project with different functionalities and now you're responsible for all. Ma'am, this project needs serious refactoring, if not a total redesign/build. Nope! Not doing this! Now go work at it.
It took me 2-3 months just to wrap my mind around this thing and implement some form of working unit tests. I have to work on all that code base by myself and deliver all by myself! naturally, I was delayed in my delivery but I finally managed to deliver.
Time for relief I thought! I wont be looking at this for a while. So they assign me the next project: Automate environment sync between PROD and QA server that is manually done so far. Easy beans right? And surely enough, the automation process is simple and straightforward...except it isnt! Why? Because I am not allowed access to the user Ids and 3rd party software used in the sync process. Database and Data WareHouse data manipulation part is same story too. I ask for access and I get denied over and over again. I try to think of workarounds and I managed to do two using jenkins pipeline and local scripts. But those processes that need 3rd party software access? I cannot do anything! How am I supposed to automate job schedule import on autosys when I DONT HAVE ACCESS!! But noo! I must think of plan B! There is no plan B! Rather than thinking of workarounds, how about getting your access privileges right and get it right the first time!!
They pay relatively well but damn, you will lose your sanity as a programmer.
God, oh god, please bless me with a better job soon so I can escape this programming hell hole.
I will never work in finance again. I don't recommend it, unless you're on the tail end of your career and you want something stable & don't give a damn about proper software engineering principles anymore.3 -
After going through the painstaking process of getting automation scripts reviewed by the whole team, edits, commits, reverts and finally loosing sanity
and you see the team is still using the old automation scripts in testing.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻4 -
Wow, a Random Rant. Two Parts.
1) It's been my pleasure to discover this site. I visit here far less frequently than I used to, but the shot of sanity it gives me never waivers. Thank you to all the sane people who are members. I don't know you, but you help me to hang on when I really just want to sit in a corner with my face turned to the wall.
2) The new (September 2020) Windows update seems to have its colourful streamers of Fuckery flickerying at us in beautiful Day-Glo grinning contempt. It's been two years since I switched away from Mac. And I gladly take this crap from Microsoft. You don't know how close I came to being sectioned from being a Mac user. Have a good weekend. Peace out.2 -
I have to work with an unbelievable stubborn (and incompetent) "project Manager)
He just actually tried to convince us that leading 0 in some" hexadecimal" strings get truncated.
I know that does not sound like something to lose the mind over, but these wrong facts do come up ever so often. It knaws on my sanity.6 -
I like like my boss and my coworkers and the place I work but for the love of goat cheese this org has the attention span of a toddler on meth.
Seriously, it's like this is your #1 priority, next week, wait we have a different emergency you have a new super critical urgent thing, then "hey team Y has a vendor coming in next month to integrate these two pieces and they need you to have half of it wired up by then so make sure you get that done." Like SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY
HERE"S SOME LIFE ADVICE IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU PLAN OR SCHEDULE OR PRIORITIZE IF YOU END UP CHANGING ALL OF IT EVERY WEEK!
It's like painting a mural of a field, and then 10 minutes in you decide you'd rather paint a space ship, then you realize you don't like the space ship so instead you decide to change your painting to Elvis with a mullet, and you keep doing this. The end result is not beauty it's the mad deranged scribbles of a man past the point of sanity.
But for the love of Haliburton if they ask me why X or Y wasn't done I'll probably end up going full BOFH on somebody.3 -
This is getting annoying.
For the past >half a year I've been chasing windmills. This is what my BAU day looks like:
- We login to client's network
- We start running some Sanity tests before the actual runs (actual runs are hell of an expensive (financially and time-wise) thing to launch) to make sure environment is OK.
- Sanity tests fail. wtf? Nothing's been changed since y-day!
- Spend ~3-4 hours digging logs, code, more logs,... Apparently some genius decided to change a single parameter.
- Spend another 1-2 hours trying to work around that parameter (since apparently that genius did have a task to do that, so we'll most likely have to find a way to live with it)
- Restart the whole env (~30min).
- Launch a Smoke, Sanity tests to verify env state.
- Launch the actual test
- Go home.
Next day:
- We login to client's network
- We start running some Sanity tests before the actual runs to make sure environment is OK.
- Sanity tests pass.
- Run the actual test
- Concurrency on RDS database is sky-rocketing! WTF did that come from??? Nothing's been changed since y-day!!
- Spend ~1-2 hours looking for anything changed, dig some logs for anything unusual. Nothing.
- Escalate to DBA. 2 hours later DBA says "fix the app". thanks for nothing mate....
- Spend remaining 2 hours analysing AWR. Give up, restart the whole RDS instance. Another hour wasted.
- Time to go home. Out of curiosity run Sanity test -- all good. Run the actual test -- all good. wtf??
- Go home
Next day
- We login to client's network
- We start running some Sanity tests before the actual runs to make sure environment is OK.
- Sanity tests fail. wtf? Nothing's been changed since y-day!
- Spend ~3-4 hours digging logs, code, more logs,... Apparently some genius decided to change a single parameter.
- Spend another 1-2 hours trying to work around that parameter
- ..... I think you know where this is going.
And this keeps going on and on, day by day. Spending the better half of the day chasing windmills and doing our actual work on the last hour of the working day or even after that.
We have plenty of interesting tasks in our Jira but we're squirels spinning in the wheel and never being able to touch them.
It feels like I'm wasting my time. I could do so much more with my time!
[just needed to vent ] -
Fulfillment company: the order you put in our system is wrong, the hours we needed to correct this will be charged to you (Red: or rather my employer)
Me: *Checks logs and our server - finds out the order was made in their own webform/webapp*
Me: hey how come I can put in values in your webform that should not pass sanity checks, thats weird (in this case it was a product w/ a quantity of 0)
Fulfillment company: we don't do sanity checks or validation, we just find out when shit crashes and burns, nothing weird about that
Me: WTF1 -
I think I'm starting to lose sanity.
I'm unconsciously desiring to have bugs just so I can have some feeling of accomplishment fixing them.
I think I'm starting to lose sanity.6 -
Parents had asked me to assemble some furniture, fix the pc and so some other "brain" work
Furniture
Me: *Stops to check something in the manual*
Parents: Are you stuck? Maybe try assembling the door upside down
Me: No, it is the right way
Parents: *Ramble, ramble*
Me: Just let me work, shut the hell up
PC
Me: *Checks cables, checks logs, ect*
Parents: Maybe it is the problem with (insert random tech word there)?
Me: No.
Parents: W h y?
Me: Let me finish, it isnt that, (tech word) isnt even correlated to that
Parents: But, but, you never talk to me... (ramble ramble)
Me: Get the hell outta the room
*Argumemt breaks out*
30min later
Me: *Finnaly manages to fix it after the heated argument*
Me: I finished, everything works
Parents: Great, but you are mean
Me: I managed to finish the work in 15 min, you dont even have enough strengh to call for a specialist, (but knowing me i wouldnt allow it anyway because a lot of them make a poor job), so in order to make it properly and to relieve you from learning how to fucking google i want you to stay out of this so i can just finish my job. Your interruptions waste time and i dont need your help at all. Everytime you tried to fix stuff you always managed to fuck shit up when you tried to do anything.
Parents: (ramble)
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LEAVE MY ROOM
Parents:
Me:
Parents: *Leave the room*
1h later i get 25$ for the job perfectly done
Sometime i wish they were tech independent, so i can save my sanity and time but money is nice.
If anybody tries to argue that i should respect them:
I tried talking to them nicely countless times through years, but they always force themself to a project and they always fuck shit up because of it. I tried telling them about my problems and they tried helping me but after it didnt work they retured to the old: "it is the pc fault" and similar. Even if they couldnt help me i juat wanted them to understand my situation, but no that didnt happened.
First i fix my life then i will fix the relationship
But but greeeeeg, relationships should be cared for always!
Eat shit. There is time for family and there is time for me especialy when my life can suddenly colapse due to my problems.7 -
I am working on an open source game project, and the most common way to draw things is using a class named ManagedSurface. The class is otherwise awesome, but it has a method called getBasePtr(x, y), which gives you a pointer to the requested coordinates. Fair enough (this is C++ without STL by the way).
But WHY THE HELL CAN I REQUEST ANY POINTER THAT I WANT, EVEN IF IT'S OUTSIDE THE SURFACE? Other cointainers have sanity checks, asserts and such, and the surface KEEPS TRACK OF IT'S WIDTH AND HEIGHT.
WAS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO ADD assert(x <= w); assert(y <= h);???
I spent 3 days on valgrind trying to find a heap corruption that manifested at random points in the code.
FUUUUCK!
On the bright side, I learned how to use valgrind (which is awesomely awesome).4 -
After two months of NPM hell I have made the decision to stop trying to catch up to this Javascript insanity.
The salary I would make if I understood this shit is not worth my sanity. Most people develop a career, but all I seem to develop is RSI and a seething hatred for humanity.1 -
I FINALLY GOT CHROME BACK!!! A few weeks ago, my computer, for no reason, said I couldn't use chrome due to Microsoft Family features, despite me not having a Microsoft Family setup. I have been using edge for weeks. Pray for my sanity.
The solution, was to create a new Microsoft account and run chrome as that. But, it does bring up the interesting topic of how much Microsoft sucks. They do this all the time, they look at something that doesn't need meddling with, like my right to use my property and my apllications, and release some garbage they didn't test without thinking of the implications. Did anyone ever as Microsoft for a way to manage your family forcefully? No. Because, if you cared enough, I'm sure you could just download a stupid family app, rather than let Microsoft take hostage of your computers.
One thing really interesting to me was that Firefox nor chrome worked, but edge could launch just fine. A little suspicious, don't ya think, Microsoft?6 -
Companies! For the love of your peoples sanity give the developers of all ages worthwhile machines. If you send us to clients to develop iOS apps, send macs also 😤4
-
The legacy codebase, episode 4584985948:
- outdated comment
- die parentheses space string no-space parentheses
- die AND exit, just to be on the safe side
- won't comment about the screaming boolean
- at least they used triple equals (and yep, that's a font ligature)4 -
I get an email about an hour before I get into work: Our website is 502'ing and our company email addresses are all spammed! I login to the server, test if static files (served separately from site) works (they do). This means that my upstream proxy'd PHP-FPM process was fucked. I killed the daemon, checked the web root for sanity, and ran it again. Then, I set up rate limiting. Who knew such a site would get hit?
Some fucking script kiddie set up a proxy, ran Scrapy behind it, and crawled our site for DDoS-able URLs - even out of forms. I say script kiddie because no real hacker would hit this site (it's minor tourism in New Jersey), and the crawler was too advanced for joe shmoe to write. You're no match for well-tuned rate-limiting, asshole!1 -
I promised a friend to have a look over his dads website to add a small blog. No big deal, I've got it on my drive, can reuse it just need to adapt it to the environment.
I take a look at what I'm working with and I see the most terrifying piece of "Please, take my data" code I could possibly imagine (And I've seen passwords, in plain text in a script tag). I quote "function queryDB(mode, val) {
var query=" ";
if(mode==="findProd")
query="Select * from Products where ProdNam=" +val;
... (same shit for different cases)
sendQuery(query) ;
}
He literally built the query on the client side sent it to a php script (without validation) and inserted it into the database.
You could literally call window.sendQuery with any sql query and get the result printed into the console.
And other than the plain text passwords guy that wasn't some kid someone knew, this was a "Webdesign" Agency.
Now I took the entire thing offline, called my friends dad, explained it to him and try to sort this out. I would not charge a good friends father but that hack will get a quite hefty bill since my hourly rate just tripled.
And the worst thing : If I publicly name that asshole or warn the people in his portfolio I can, according to Google, be sued. (But, and I assume thats vague enough not to count as bad mouthing, if anyone of you has a customer from Rheinland-Pfalz, Germany with a preexisting page, please have a look at the database interface)
I will call that agency tomorrow, ask for a detailed explanation for why they apparently let trained monkeys write their code and anonymously warn everyone in their portfolio about those flaws...
I don't know if I'm cursed or if there are just that many bad devs but it seems that once a year I have to stumble over some "mistakes" that make me question my sanity.4 -
dev: “I want to start working on [feature]”
Me: “I already started to work on it, sorry for not mentioning it, we need specs from design team before I can go on, but I’d suggest going for another task meanwhile”
Manager: “noooo design is very very busy, [dev] will take care of it.”
Me: “[dev] still needs specs from the design team... and I am half done with it so no real point in re-writing the same code I wrote”
Manager: “just trust me, we do this and [dev] takes care of it.”
*me and [dev] look at each other perplexed and just nod to the manager cause it’s Thursday and the fucks to give are over*
... am I actually a patient in an asylum? I question my sanity after this exchange of words.2 -
I think I’m going to lose my mind. This stupid website I’m working on keeps going down and at the worst times possible. Nothing we do seems to help. I’m again awakened in the middle of the night to attend to it and still have no good answers why. My anxiety is through the roof because I can’t get back to sleep after tonight’s outage. The client is beyond pissed even though a ton of problems would be solved if they would just get off of some legacy software and onto something more modern. But they insisted it be this way and the budget is already blown and then some even if they changed their minds. If it’s going to be that I continue losing so much sleep and sanity, I may just have to quit this job. I hate the thought of that because I always want to see things through to a happy conclusion. And I like my teammates and don’t want to let them down. But I’m too old for that kind of no-sleep development lifestyle now. Nobody’s shitty website is worth my physical and mental health.3
-
So, those of you who have been in quarantine for more than a week, how are you keeping your sanity?
Specially the news, goddamn, people are so stupid. The number of infected around here has been skyrocketing so I'm not even afraid of getting the virus anymore, I'm more afraid of the damn numbers going up.
Also, those of you who don't live alone, need not reply. 😝
I like my independence, but goddamn this feels a lot like being in luxury solitary confinement. Plus, I have to cook for myself.
Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh30 -
while reading rebecca & brain's book on object oriented software. I realised that the programmer is a special kind of person. the complexity he can handle, the struggle to implement a system, from input to output, satellite control, AI, robotics, heck, even the planning required for a simple android app, the complexity is overwhelming at first, then you get your jotter and break it down into parts, and you drive yourself to the edge of sanity figuring out an algorithm, then you go over that edge implementing it, but oh that great super hero feeling when you finally get something to work exactly as specified, I'm not sure people in other professions can understand the satisfaction. I'm very young in the whole programmer world, but I'm growing fast, I'm just really grateful programming found me, I mean, can you think of something else you'lld rather do? yeah, me neither.4
-
PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!
I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.
But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!
But it pays to be paranoid. -
I am so fucking lost.
I literally have zero expectations from life for now and future.
There was a time when I had so much clarity in my life. Rather, I was known for it.
Folks used to reach me out for guidance and my approaches even worked for others.
I was goal oriented and biased towards action. Failing and learning from it, I used to make things happen and with constant feedback kept progressing.
While none of that has changed, I still feel lost and numb. No, I am not depressed or suffering through any mental illness. I am physical active and able to feel the happiness.
But the recent incident with a narcissistic, left me emotionally handicap. I can no longer feel any kind of love or affection. I overcame the damage done and healed myself.
But now, I am done. Even if I engage with anyone for a relationship it would be mostly for sex. I can care for people around me and be affectionate towards them but when it comes to an intimate relationship, I feel it's not something I can do in this lifetime. I tried multiple times but failed.
These days, all I am doing is putting my heads down and working like crazy. Never in my life I worked more than 10 hours in an entire week. Now, I work 10+ hours everyday. During that time, I am highly productive.
And in my free time, I am busy housekeeping different life problems. Either paying bills, figuring out an insurance, planning some investment, or making some kind of life decision.
It's draining me. I feel as if I am losing sanity. But that's the only thing I am able to do.
Maybe it's the lockdown effect. Maybe some damage is yet to be healed.
But I got nothing better to do. I have some good ideas. Not those hipster-ish disruptive Million dollar ideas, but decent enough to solve a problem for a strong use case.
However, all of this is becoming overwhelming these days. Because decision making is complex and difficult task. It can make or break the future.
As of now I am confused how should I go about pursuing two of the important projects that I want to accomplish.
1. Migrating out of Google ecosystem. Is it even practically possible for my use case? What are the alternatives? Planning to opt in for a paid cloud storage so have to factor in that aspect as well.
I want to keep this new setup only for official use like bank and government stuff. Maybe family and close friends. Then have current ids for public logins and sharing it with retards whom I can block or ignore if they harass me. The research is overwhelming but having a structured setup gives insane amount of efficiency when life is spam free.
2. Migrating my Pihole and OpenVPN setup out of Digital Ocean to GCP. Primarily because $5 is a lot of amount for my computational requirements and Google has used my data enough, for me to use the free tier.
However, there isn't a simple script for a tech noob like me, to go ahead and setup something. I did find a Github repository but the documentation is kind of outdated so RTFM failed for me.
I don't know whether to pursue my start-up or let it go and focus on moving to Europe.
It's just so fucking stupid to even exist. And let's not forget taxes. Bloody taxes.21 -
Is it just my perception or is everyone here all of a sudden getting unhinged? I don't ever remember this many regulars just going off on each other like they do now. I do feel anxious myself lately.
I am thinking for my own sanity to take a leave for a while.13 -
@Owenvii made a post over at (https://devrant.com/rants/2359774/...) and I want to write a proper response.
The biggest thing you have to look out for as a new dev is the jobs which you accept to begin with.
This isn't minimum wage no more, this is "big league", well, maybe not apple or google big league, but it's not $9.25 an hour either.
Basically you don't want to work anywhere where 1. your labor will be treated as a highly disposable commodity. 2. where the hiring manager doesn't know how to do the job themselves.
The best thing you can do is, if you're new, and just breaking through (and even if you're not), is ask them common questions and problems/solutions that crop up doing the work. If they can answer intelligently that tells you the company values competence (maybe), enough to put someone in place who will know ability from bullshit, merit from mediocrity, and who understands the process of progressing from junior dev to a more involved role.
It also means they are incentivized to hire people who know what they're doing because the training cost of new hires is lowered when they hire people who are actually competent or capable of learning.
Remember, an interview isn't just them learning about you, it's your opportunity to interview *them* and boy, you'll be making a BIG mistake if you don't.
Ideally you want them to ask you to pair program a problem. If your solution is better than theirs then they aren't sending their best to do interviews, and it tells you the company doesn't fire incompetents. The interviewers response can tell you a lot too, if they critique your work, or suggest improvements, and especially if they explain their thinking, that is an amazing response to look for, it says the company values mentorship and *actual* teamwork (not the corporate lingo-bingo 'teamwork' that we sometimes see idolized on posters like so much common dogma).
Most importantly, get them to talk about their work and their team. If they're a professional, it'll be really difficult to pry anything negative about their co-workers out of them, but if they're loose-lipped and gossipy thats a VERY bad sign, regardless of what they have to say.
Ask to take a tour and do a meet n' greet of who you will be working with. If they say no, then it's no thank you to a job offer. You want to take every opportunity to get to know everyone there, everyone you'll be working with, as much as possible--because you'll be spending a LOT of time with these people and you want to rule out any place that employs 'unfireable' toxic assholes, sociopath executives, manipulative ladder climbing narcissists, and vicious misery-loving psychopathic coworkers as quick as possible. This isn't just one warning flag to look out for, it's the essential one. You're looking for the proper *workplace culture*, not the cheesy startup phrase of "workplace culture", but the actual attitudes of the team and the interpersonal dynamics.
Life is really short, and a heart attack at 25 from dipshit coworkers and workplace grief can and will destroy your health, if not your sanity, the older you get.
Trust and believe me when I say no paycheck is too grand to deal with some useless, smarmy, manipulative, or borderline motherfuckers at work constantly. You'll regret it if you do. Don't do it. Do you fucking do it. Just don't.
Take my words to heart and be weary of easy job offers. I'm not saying don't take a good offer that lands in your lap, I AM saying do some investigating and due diligence or the consequences are on you.1 -
A long long time ago ( 2007 I think ) I worked for a company that made landing sites, so basically an email campaign would go out, users would be sent to a 1 page website with a form to capture their data, ready to be spammed even more. You know how it was back then.
So I worked with a guy who we had just hired, I didn't do the hiring but his CV checked out, so I gave him one of my tasks. Now most pages were made with js and html, with a PHP backend ( called with Ajax). Now this guy didn't know PHP so I was like all good, ASP works too at the end of the day we don't judge, we do like 2 or 3 of these a day and never look at them again. So he goes of and does is thing.
3 weeks later, the customer calls up to me they still haven't received their landing page. Ok so he probably forgot to email the customer np, I tell him to double check he has emailed the customer. Another week goes by end the customer calls back, same problem. At this point I'm getting worried, because we're days away from the deadline and it was originally my task.
So I go back to the guy and I tell him I want that landing page so I can send it myself, half thinking to myself that we had a freeloader, that guy that comes in to companies for 3 weeks, doesn't work, but still cashes his pay. But no, this was much worse.
So he tells me he has finished yet. I ask him why, what's the blocker ? You had 4 weeks to tell me you were blocked and couldn't progress. And his answer was simply, because I wasn't blocked I have been working on it this whole time. So I tell him to zip his project up and email it to me. We didn't do SVN or git back then, simply wasn't worth it. So he comes back to me and says the email server is telling him attachments can't be bigger then 50mb. At this point I'm thinking he didn't properly sized the art or something, so I give him a flash drive to put it on.
When I then open the flash drive, the archive is 300mb, thinking to myself, the images weren't even that big to begin with.
So I open it up, and I don't even find any images, just a single asp page. About 500mb. When I opened that up and it finally loaded, I saw the most horrendous things ever.
The first 500 lines was just initializing empty vars. Then there was some code that created an empty form with an onChange event that submits the form. After that.. it was just non stop nested if's. No loops, no while, for, foreach, NO elseif's, just nested if's, for every possible combination of the state the form could be in. Abou 5000 of them, in a single file. To make matters worse, all the form ( and page ) layout was hardcoded in the if's. Includes inline css, base64 encoded images, nothing but as dynamic, based on the length of the form he changes the layout, added more background etc. He cut the images up for every possible size of the page and included them in the code.
I showed it to my boss, he fired the guy on the spot. I redid the work from scratch, in under 4 hours. Send it to the client. they had no ammends to make, happy as Larry. Whish I kept the code somewhere.
Morale of the story, allways do a coding test on interviews, even if small things just to sanity check.3 -
I'm not a dev, but I visit this site due to its overwhelming sanity. That said, I have two bests:
First: Never thought I'd say it, but having Windows as opposed to Mac has continued to keep me from going batshit cray. I liken my relationship with Mac to a marriage that started out wonderfully and wound up in a field of acrimony, broken promises, and literal hatred.
Second: This site, as mentioned above.7 -
Hey lads and gals!
A genuine question to people who live in "heaven-on-earth" countries (Greece islands, Italy, Spain seaside, Portugal, etc.). Where do YOU travel to to chill, change scenery and relax?
I mean, for us, wildlings of the North, going South on vacation is a no-brainer. Like now, I'm getting my sanity back while sipping Rakia (IDK why not ouzo though..) in Crete. But where do Cret(ians?) and other Southerners go on vacation?6 -
Got the first payment of the next contract after a three month slump! The first slump since leaving university.
Time to pay devRant for Sanity Preservation Services for three months. 🤗2 -
Listen to your developer when they have an idea that will save you time or money. If she's wrong she will fix her mistake because she wants to be good at what she does. If you're wrong you'll be crawling back to her and end up paying twice as much to get it done your way and then the right way.
-
Sometimes, I liked to play dumb and pretend I don't know what I'm doing around IT.
That way I can come out alive with a little sanity1 -
1. i'm drunk.
2. please do me a sanity check
3:
this video, at this timestamp, watch the following about 5 minutes or so:
https://youtu.be/oG-6Ltp1_yE?t=1129
4. tell me (and possibly him in comment) if i'm wrong in the (point) of the following comment i wrote under that video:
20:53 ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME YOU ABSOLUTE MORON?!
yes, US has an altitude software written in fuckin VBA with an explicit statement to ignore errors, and there's not about 10x more automated testing code for a critical piece of functionality, than there is of the code that handles the actual functionality, and it's not been tested off-line (in simulated environment) as well as on-line (IRL) for at least years in all conditions, before it was deployed, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORON.
CAN YOU JUST PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY STICK TO WHAT YOU ACTUALLY PROPERLY UNDERSTAND?!
HOLY FUCK THE LEVEL OF ARROGANCE IN YOU IN ASSUMING THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW VBA YOU KNOW HOW PROPER SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT IS DONE, HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
I've worked in companies of 1k employees and less, on absolutely non-critical stuff, that has DevOps and QA processes and infrastructure that would make your script kiddie head spin for WEEKS, LET ALONE FUCKIN MILITARY SW DRIVING MILITARY EQUIPMENT YOU ARROGANT KNOWITALL FUCK.
Please, just please, FOCUS ON FUCKING DOING VIDEOS ABOUT STUFF YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND, instead of stuff your ego overinflated from years of debunking dunning-krugers tells you that you're an expert in despite never actually having worked even near those fields. PLEASE. You are amazing when doing those, but this bullshit is just fucking rage-inducing. Don't ever talk about software again, because that's obviously YOUR dunning-kruger area, you fuckin bigheaded script kiddie.12 -
I have a rule for maintaining sanity. It only works if you job doesn't have you on-call. And it saves me a of stress:
Don't think about work when you're not at work.2 -
Piece of shit shitware called visual studio, I only need you because of that stupid vcvarsall.dll, so I gave you a folder on my HDD, but nooo, You just had to ignore this and place yourself on my SSD. My poor SSD that has very little space left.
Fuck you visual studio. To me you are a literal waste of Time, Space and Sanity2 -
I got a call from a recruiter yesterday. The employer wants to get me in for an interview. It's for a fairly big company and I'm beginning to feel really nervous. I hate the place I'm at and I need this job. Not just for money but also to retain my sanity.
The interview is with a development manager, I wonder what kind of questions he/she will ask. Ahhhh how do I prepare for the unknown? 😱10 -
It's been two months since I've left my previous job, after 1.5 years. I never had the feeling my boss trusted his dev team, since he was checking up on us regularly, even though we had planned out a sprint and work for us was "clear". I say "clear", because every single feature on this project was pretty much half-baked, since they were just ideas our boss/PO (same person) on the spot and were labeled as "the next big thing" without every properly writing them out as user stories. Every demo came with a bunch of criticism, because features weren't implemented "as he imagined", because what do you know, the user stories weren't properly described anyway. Bringing that up as counter-argument also made him angry every time, so that didn't help much either. The launch of the platform was also postponed every time because of vague reasons, so that didn't make the project any more interesting either.
It took a while before I got sick of this of this pretty hopeless situation and toxic environment. Mind you, it was my first job since I graduated, so I was a bit naive thinking the working environment would improve and aforementioned company issues would be resolved over time. Eventually, I ran out of patience and motivation, so I finally bit the bullet and handed in my resignation letter.
From that moment, I at least had an end in sight, since I was still obliged to do my four-week notice period, which felt like an eternity. The borderline childish and sociopathic behaviour of my boss didn't make it any better (e.g. checking up on me even more, more mistrust, randomly accusing me of ruining the working atmosphere because I shared a meme with a colleague of mine and didn't involve him, going lunching with all of my colleagues but explicitly asking me to stay at work, ...). Being forced to work from home the last 2 weeks as part of the country's lockdown measures at least helped my sanity a bit, since I had the comfort of my home office and not the frequent "looking over your shoulders to check if you're still working".
By the last day of my notice period, I was bitter, exhausted, lost confidence in my skills and had completely lost my joy of being a developer. I had to physically meet with my boss one more time to hand in the company laptop. He thanked me for my service and said that we'd keep in touch. I hope I won't keep that promise (he made a lot of false promises before, too), because I'd rather never encounter him ever again. It felt like a huge relief to finally close the door of this bad experience behind me for good.
Now, 2 months later, I've got a new job and rediscovered my joy for coding, mostly thanks to the complete opposite of a toxic environment here, management which actually has respect and faith in me and a challenging but fun project. My mental state has made a complete turnaround compared to two months ago. I have absolutely no regrets of switching jobs. If only I had made that decision sooner.4 -
After I received my laser eye surgery, I knew it would become painful after the effect of anesthesia would decrease so I got painkillers in advance.
It was nimesulide.
Even in 2008 ISDB raised a concern about the liver damage and asked for it to be withdrawn worldwide, but I didn't knew it.
So the terrible pain started and I took the pill. Just. One. Pill.
This all started in like fifteen minutes. Eye pain won't go away, but it didn't mattered anymore as I felt really terrible. I never experienced that kind of feeling before and I don't even know how to describe it. It felt like a terrible sensation inside my stomach mixed with an urge to vomit. "This is probably what a liver failure feels like. This is it, I'm going do die here", I remember thinking about as I collapsed.
This whole incident led to an investigation about why the doctors "forgot" to give me proper eye anesthesia drops. This got several doctors fired.
This all got me really interested in how different medications work. I started casually reading popular medical literature and when my depression came, I was prepared, as much as you can even get prepared to a mental disorder.
The thing that probably nearly killed me helped me not to lose my sanity later.4 -
If you ever have noise sensitivity like me, use bluetooth headphone with active noise cancellation(wh1000xm4 is cool) during the day and wax earplugs during sleep.
That combo saves my sanity.1 -
If you like breathing into the mic during a 60 minute conference call....for everyone's sanity, please mute yourself.1
-
Why I try to ALWAYS use semicolons in JS:
In short, weird shit happens sometimes
An example:
So I'm doing a small project for freeCodeCamp, working with the Twitch API. I decided to make an array on the fly to append a few elements to a documentFrag in order after setting all my props. Forgot a semicolon. Apparently, Babel transpiles this:
info.innerHTML = (``)
[span, caret, info].forEach(elm => frag.appendChild(elm));
to this if you omit the semicolon:
info.innerHTML = ' '[(span, caret, info)]
this is why you should avoid relying on ASI, you're going to have to remember them in other languages out there, so for your own sanity, might as well get used to them. Just thought I'd share--who knows, might help a JS newb out there somewhere.5 -
Just wondering... anyone else think having a script automatically kill gradle if it runs for more than X amount of minutes would be a great sanity saver?
"Jesus Fucking Zombie Christ I only added ONE FUCKING TEXTVIEW IN A SIMPLE GODDAMNED LINEAR LAYOUT YOU WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT AND GRADLE IS STILL RUNNING AFTER FIVE MOTHERFUCKING MINUTES?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!"1 -
Ok so apparently somebody at Google gcp thought it would be a great idea to be able to select more than one instance at a time and select something like delete and it goes ahead and deletes it without any sanity checks.
3 days down the tube5 -
Avoid ACPICA if at all possible. It's one garbage tier cluster fuck of bad design, horrible documentation and downright misleading and wrong code
It's meant to consist of an ASL compiler, disassembler, debugger, dumper, various user space utitilies and a kernel resident OSPM implementation *if* you can figure out what belongs to what. Even just compiling this pile of trash is a mystery in itself. Think you need the source files in source/common? EEEEH, wrong. Well, at least partially since most of them seem to be for the user space stuff..? Other ones *are* needed on the other hand. At least the disassembler and/or debugger and/or dumper components seem to reference them. Not that I could figure out how to compile those anyways. The real path to your goal seems to be to ignore a seemingly arbitrary subset of source and header files until your linker stops complaining
There's also a bunch of configuration defines, some of which *you* define, some defined *for* you, based on again others. Of course most of them do stupid shit. Enabling the debugger automatically enables debug logging. Enabling the disassembler force enables debug allocation tracking... What?
The code itself isn't of much help either. Looking in "os_specific/service_layers" you find what looks to be reference implementations of acpica functions in certain os' like windows and unix. Of course I had a look because AcpiOsReadMemory is supposed to read physical memory and I don't know how I would even implement that. But hey, osunixxf.c (xf for interface... of course) should tell me. I'll let you see for yourself in the attached image. Apparently it does fuck all and just returns AE_OK. No error, no logging, no nothing. Just ok. As you can imagine, AcpiOsWriteMemory doesn't do much more either.
...okay so maybe physical memory accesses aren't actually used and these functions are some sort of relic from past times? Nope! They are absolutely necessary for doing low level device interaction. WTF. So finally I went to the linux source and checked how *they* implemented them, and just as I thought, these functions are anything but no-ops...
...So for what fucking reason do these stupid interface implementations even exist but to purposefully mislead you?? They aren't used for fucking anything! As far as I know Windows doesn't even *use* ACPICA and Linux have their own fork with working implementations... They just sit there, just to tell you how to NOT do it
So that's some of my thoughts about ACPICA. Note that I haven't even used it as a library yet, I just got it to compile and link and it already fucked with me this much.
There's also so much more I didn't mention like that you *have* to modify the acpica source in order to get your own platform header working (else #error) eventhough the docs explicitely instruct you not too but you get the point
Don't use ACPICA if you don't have to. Save your sanity for something that's worth it -
macOS fuckup continued. Today I used a camelcase name for some new file and a directory. Later I didn't like it and wanted to change to lowercase. Pushed it to bitbucket: now I had both versions! Hold my goji berries, what's going on? Maybe some git config screw up? After a bit of fiddling I remembered an old Linus' rant on Apple's file system when they wanted to adopt case insensitivity. So wait, did they actually do that shit? I thought I was on a unixoid, bastardized BSDish system, that apart from all the oddities that Apple bestowed on it, that there was still some sanity left... But, no there isn't. AFP really defaults to case insensitivity.
I have no words.
So switched to my Debian, where I resolved the duplication in two secs. Now Linux feels even much more comfy and home.29 -
I lack inspiration to practice my c++ and it's infuriating, the result is no code written in over a week.
I have extremely high expectations for myself and right now I lose sleep, sanity and any little self esteem I had in me regarding my progress
I know you can't rush knowledge, but I just want to built something at my level of practice that is somewhat useful to me and / or others, but when I do it, it's either shit or someone my level made it way better even if I really put some efforts in it
I won't quit but jesus this just feels awful.5 -
Your girlfriend is sucking away your time, energy, money, and sanity. Fkkkkkkk me ded plzzz asdfghjkl6
-
Just my luck that I get the best wk76 story ever on wk77. Either way:
So some of you may know that the current project I am on has some shared code components with one of the other projects in the product line. And we have some differences in our processes. This leads to a lot of fun.
So, I was working on converting one of our shared components into a more modern language. It would save us time, money, and sanity by allowing us to more easily maintain our product. Sounds like a win-win right? That's what I thought. Until I had a meeting with the other team. THEN THE QUESTIONS ROLLED IN. Well who is going to integrate our product with yours? (You?) Are you changing the interface? (Not really.) Are you going to generate a design document? (Absolutely not especially since the interface isn't changing for the most part.) Well you are changing the type of one parameter in one method from an undocumented unmanaged type to a well documented managed type that we control. Shouldn't you generate a document to document that change? (Again absolutely not.)
So first they basically browbeat my lead into putting me in charge of their integration effort. Its fine though, as they gave me an account to charge. However, when I was finally able to get a machine with their build environment on it (at least two months later), they then told me that that account was closing and I had to wait until next quarter. So fuck me right. And because of their process I would break them if I were to check my changes in.
So fast forward to today. They are translating some shared components for the same reason that we are. However, they are changing code that while shared is technically "ours" and that will DEFINITELY break us if they do this work since this is the code that controls our algorithms. And while we have a fault tolerant process, or at least more fault tolerant than the other group's, we are currently doing a huge amount of development in the part they want to change. And when we ask them "who is going to do this work to integrate our product with your changes?" they stare at us slack jawed. Like "um, you right? it doesn't affect us." Like MOTHERFUCKERS!!! YOU LITERALLY JUST FOIST ALL THIS WORK ON US TO INTEGRATE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE PEOPLE TO SUPPORT IT!!! BUT YOU CAN PAY THIS GUY FOR SIX MONTHS TO DO ALL THIS WORK THAT WILL BREAK US BUT CAN'T SPARE HIM TO INTEGRATE WITH US!?!?!? EVEN IF WE'RE PAYING HIM AND NOT YOU!?!?!
I will let you know how this goes when we have the discussion. I am drinking right now because it it easier and better for my emotional and physical health than bum fights. -
Sanity check.
Guys and Gals... Is this normal to hear from your co-worker things like (will try to translate to English):
"I don't know about your sex life, but could you stop fucking around with this website and move to the shop site?"
and
"Don't fuck around and just do it"
I hear this from a guy who is not a programmer.11 -
Hopefully, you already know that the company controlled by the alledged reptiloid subhuman and olimpic testicle juggler formerly known as Mister Zuck My Tits is not to be trusted.
But as is always the case in this bitch, I've been forced into cowjizz flooded swamps' worth of stinking shit platforms for the sake of avoiding isolation.
And so, I've just found yet another way in which Facebook **THUNDERSTRIKE** ... the company, not the geriatric ward, is one of the CROWN ACHIEVEMENTS of human civilization.
Let me tell you something: some people are fucking broke. Hell, some people sleep on the streets, live on scraps, and willingly engage in acts of public defecation when provoked. But I'm not even talking about them no, just plain *broke*.
And so imagine being that guy who doesn't really use his phone much, except maybe for sharing cat pictures with mom because that's what being an absolute chad is all about. You don't get a new phone, because money is a __little__ bit tight. But THEN...
The dreaded CAPITAL strikes, and requests of you to bend and fall onto your knees so as to provide intense, intimate and manual -- as well as oral -- PLEASURE to the [NOT SO] METAPHORICAL PENIS of the """SYSTEM""".
Oh, what an abominable, drooooooling revenant that lies before you!
"Gimme your ass... " he says, menacingly, as you wail about in a futile attempt to guard and preserve the very last vestiges of your own anal virginity.
And so you fight, and kick him in the NADS with everything you have, down to the final shreds of vigor. Victory! Or so you thought...
"You must... " he mutters, mortally wounded "update WhatsApp... "
"Still you breathe?!" you exclaim, suddenly transformed into a heroic, sexy moustachoed arquebusier "After I'm done ~OILING~ my VICTORIOUS CHEST, I *shall* bestow DEATH uppon you!".
But as you rip open your shirt to apply sensual oiling to your marvellous frontal assets, your nemesis reveals it's portentous Portugal: "this new version of Android... " he gasps as he perishes "is incompatible with your device... "
"Ughh! Sacrebleu!" you shriek out in pain, realizing that you are now unable to ACCESS THE FUCKING DATA THAT IS IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HARDWARE BECAUSE OF A STUPID FORCED BINARY INCOMPATIBILITY.
That's right. Now even if I *do* get a new phone, I can't do shit about losing all of the family memes. And contacts and all of that shit, but the stickers are more important. A minor inconvenience, yes, and it didn't need all of this preamble but I was doing the dramatic fight scene bit inside my head as I was writing and I got into it.
Because the only documented way to transfer all of that data is to OPEN THE APPLICATION and scan some code, but everytime I go to do that, IT TELLS ME I NEED TO UPDATE. And every time I GO TO UPDATE, it says that MY PHONE is TOO FUCKING OLD!! AAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!
And you too, might be a dashing french man from centuries past, with both balls and tits down to your fucking knees, folding your arms in a position that exhumes smugness in a disgustingly irreverent and self-aggrandizing way, looking at me as a mere plebeian who cannot wrap his head around the mystical art of interacting with Google's black deuce box.
And you would be somewhat right in your judgement! But just having to fiddle about with these fucking pocket Elmo screens is such a traumatic experience for me that I'd rather lose my stickers.
[ADBREAK] Are you a debonair victorian undercover butt pirate, taking unparalleled care of your Falstaffian, highfalutin poils pubiens? Need your "sword" sharpened, as you browse through the pages of this magnanimous lexicon? Would you rather allocate final death to your coworkers than learn one more synonym for sonorous, supercilious and pontifical?
We all know that ALL you need to help keep that honor intact is slaying your enemies in high-stakes combat. But how to satisfy less gallant needs, when male prostitution is outlawed in more than sixteen duchies?
Look no further than BloodCurse, the ancient hex that will haunt your family for countless generations! With BloodCurse, you may crawl the earth as a mindless, shameless, piece of shit cockswallowing JUGGERNAUT that craves nothing BUT the consumption of scabbed human ass!
BloodCurse is easily contracted through consumption of the GENITAL fluids of highly-lecherous succubi, conjured through [EXTREMELY CENSORED]! This forbidden arcana allows the user to debour HIS OWN testicles in no time!
Get your bottle of scents, sensual Portuguese chest oils, and fucking designer-drug bath salts for the low, low price of a passionate, unceassing self-blowjob! And use my code FRONTALASSETS for 60% OFF in your next soul-robbing foray into the felational dark arts!
Big ups to BloodCurse for sponsoring this RRRRRRRR~$RRR$$RR%5RRRRR$0000:>A48CC50A E3A1B22A : 330D4750 7C24E5A5|.......*3.GP|$.. 5262E7D5 0D1C24E6 : 85594B39 1CB7593E|Rb......YK9..Y>
:~11 -
Hello! My name is opalqnka and I am a Windows user.
I followed the 12-step program and now I am a step away to being certified LPIC Linux Engineer.
As step 12 preaches, here I humbly share the Program:
1. We admitted we were powerless over Windows - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Linus as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to Linus, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We’re entirely ready to have Linus remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through bash scripting and kernel troubleshooting to improve our conscious contact with Linus as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Windows users and to practice these principles in all our affairs.4 -
Some days it feels like visual studio is conspiring to break my sanity.
Compile.... 5 errors
Clean & recompile .... 12 errors
Open file that contains the errors
Error report clears all errors ...
Compile .... 12 errors .... But still bloody runs
Stop program .... No errors
Grrrr
Compile .... No errors
For god sake .... Which is it ... Do I have errors or not FFS3 -
So this web company i joined had a page load time in minutes. The free text search (inverted index search, based on elasticsearch) queries would return results in 10-45 seconds (should be milliseconds always). The indexes had no schema. And they would crawl data and feed into mssql db, which had a 2 gb/db limit on the free version. So everytime the db hit the limit, a new db was created and the name was incremented by one.
Had a very tough time cleaning up that mess. Plus the architect who had made this architecture was on his way out and unhelpful to the core.
What was worse was that most of the changes i did were very simple changes that should have been done long back. Basic sanity changes.4 -
So in the project I’m working on we were about to do a push to live, no major functionality just minor adjustments and nice to have stuff. One of the things I did was a reminder, nothing special just sends an email out if something hasn’t been done for 3 days and then sends an email every day following. Push to live and every thing goes fine with no issues. Day 1 there are no issues. Day 2 there are no issues. Day 3 and I’m inundated with people telling me that the emails are getting sent to practically everyone, shit. What have I done? What have I missed?
So I start looking at the live database hoping for a data problem, no such luck. I look at my code looking for something blatantly obvious but nothing. I start replicating the data but I can’t reproduce this bug and it’s annoying the hell out of me. I checked one of the emails that the client sent to us more thoroughly and seen that it was sent at 07:01. This is odd as our webjob runs at 1am so I start looking at environmental factors and started looking at release management, more out of hope than expectation. I check the staging environment and see that the webjob ran at 7:00. Coincidence I thought, the webjob gets packaged on the release pipeline and everything in the database was dummy data anyway but I’d better check anyway. The database was an exact copy of the live database, turns out a “senior developer” wanted to sanity check everything by running live data through the code so he copied the database over. It was fine for the first couple of days but the data was now 3 days out of date triggering my email code and I get hit with the shit storm. I’ve never met such an incompetent developer in my fucking life, functions 700 lines long, classes that are over 20000 lines, repetition every where and the only design patterns he’s used is when he picks up a child’s colouring book. I can live with the fact that he writes code like someone on their first day of University But copying a database because he wants to “visualise” the fucking data is absolutely farcical. No wonder the project is fucked with a “developer” (in the loosest possible use of the word) is at the helm. -
(mostly !dev) Fuck humans! Really: what a scum bag race. All that shit talk about human dignity, the highest values are just sugar coating the low base motives we mostly live by. Like people have such fine antennas for your income, social status, the power or lack thereof you exert over other. They know it before you open your mouth, that they can pick on you, harass you, because you're the one on the receiving end, the one that bows away. The bullies feel that. On an overcrowded chicken yard you'll find more dignity than in human society.
Everybody drooling over that polished photoshop life on facetubeinsta: materialistic, consumeristic, masturbatic wastage. At least we now say it openly: that if we were the winners, we'd also take it all, live that empty luxury, life of fame. But 99,99% of us, we aren't in that position, just working off our arse to only keep afloat. And for the stars, those fake images, we're just rats to click on ads to better train Google.
No wonder that software, as a picture of human communication is such a shitfest of arbitrary, entropic conventions and endemic epidemic of quirks, bugs and evil trap doors. As a whole: an insults to reason, a challenge to sanity. (...Conway's law)
And I'm still a bit pissed at our profession, that, you know, as engineers, scientists, physicists, we still see us in the lineage of that "great" age of enlightenment and reason,.. while it's all just a cover up. Sure science and their ideas are nice as long as you serve a purpose or make some money. Sure democracy and free speech are great achievements, but in the end some elites and monopolies rule the world at their gusto - and will not stop destroying the world unless we're already one feet in the abyss (like 1962, be we ain't had enough of that shit, hadn't we?)9 -
*hits CTRL-S to ensure everything is saved *
.5 seconds later:
*Hits CTRL-ALT-S to ensure sanity is saved*
Git Push2 -
Need to rant / maybe some advice.
Working remote is hard.
New company, remote on boarding. I feel like my coworkers are robots, and I'm being tossed into the deep end with minimal guidance.
The codebase is so unnecessarily complicated, its impossible to read. I've been trying to figure out how things work for a whole month, still not sure.
My mentor that is supposed to help onboard me is a robot, and answers questions in a somewhat acceptable manner, but it still feels like a lot of "figuring out" is still left for myself.
My other work partner that is also a newbie like myself is also a robot - doesn't talk or ask many questions whenever we have a sync up meeting.
The codebase is huge and feels quite overwhelming, I don't feel like I got a team "with my back", I don't enjoy work as much as I have before, I barely do any coding (mostly reading code and trying to understand how everything is working by setting breakpoints and debugging tests that take foreeeever to run), and some days I'm seriously considering cutting my losses and jumping ship just to save my sanity.
Am I paranoid? Am I just dumb? Should I just suck it up and be happy I have a job? Is this how Remote work is supposed to feel like? Why does it feel like my soul is dying?
Anyone in similar situations, or who can give some insight/advice/etc, I would highly appreciate it.
And this is supposed to be a good company too from the reviews. I don't know how it can be so crappy in reality. Did I make the wrong choice joining? Should I jump ship sooner rather than later? I've only been here about a month or so, and maybe its too soon? Halp!12 -
What I really hate? When a piece of code simply refuses to work. No logs, no exceptions, no sign that it even exists. HOW THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSE TO DEBUG THIS SHIT?? I drives me crazy, if everything I do changes nothing! It makes me doubt my sanity. And I like my sanity!3
-
I don't want to ever hear that you're proficient in JavaScript if you put a callback function call inside of an async function right after using the await command.
All you manage to do in the end was make a simple function that gets data to populate a dropdown menu into something that is absolutely more awful to look at than the worst callback hell possible.
Refactoring this code base has really questioned my sanity and how much I'm willing to spend on alcohol.4 -
Ideas:
1. Scrape github
2. Attach feature size estimate (an abstract scale) as examples across many projects.
3. Use this as prompt/finetunning data.
4. Train and prompt on project descriptions relative to feature size and number of contributors/changes in the changelog.
5. Package and release a model that takes descriptions of ideas and generates reasonable estimates of time and manpower.
6. Optional, sell as an estimate service to corporate and make money introducing some sanity to the world for a change.10 -
!dev
A "state of siege" and isolation can gradually erode your sense of safety and sanity.
This can come in the form of bosses who's behavior, whatever it happens to be, makes you hesitant to come into work. It can be a partner who you dont want to see after work. It can be in laws or a landlord.
In our case it's the crackhouse down the street.
These people have broken into houses, cars, stolen, vandalized, and even threatened people.
So I'm hear, chest hurting from stress, and here comes a shithead we already ran off, pipe in hand, going to smash up the truck.
Chased him off. Not even the first time.
These motherfuckers threatened the elderly lady next door. Threatened an old lady *at my work*.
God damn drug addicts every where. No god damn respect. Violent cracked out lunatics. All hours of the. night and day. Last attack was broad daylight.
And it's just been a total siege.
I'm sick of living in a nation where those who try to get by are punished, and the worst are allowed to roam around like wolves preying on people.
Its intolerable and im sick and tired of it. I have no more patience left.
Whatever your situation, meber out up with violence, shitheads, lunatics and deranged drug addicts.
Smash them in their fucking mouth if you are forced to defend you and yours. Never hesitate.19 -
FUCKING BIC CLICK PENS!
The single most evil invention of all time. Every single click that I hear tears away another little piece of my sanity.. with repetitive clicking increasing the rate of decay exponentially...6 -
I've been out of the loop with websites and frontends for a while. Now, is it me or is it just overengineered to make a static website that's not a blog these days?
I mean, I need to make a landing page. 6 sections + footer. And I don't want to end up with a 600+ lines html file. With tailwind possibly.
JEKYLL
I've used it a few times, and after 3 years I still get some weird error when installing everything. Maybe it's trivial, but I know shit about ruby. Plus, I don't need ruby for anything else, and the official Docker image just doesn't work, exactly like the quickstart tutorial. 3 years later, same issues.
HUGO
I like this guy but god, the docs are just unreadable, it's not compatible with tailwind 3.x (or smth) and it's been a pain to build a user-configurable homepage. Plus, it does more than half of the work by itself, Fair enough, it's supposed to be used for blogs.
ANY OTHER "JAMSTACK" BULLSHIT
Anything is either a blogging engine or delivers some crappy javascript blob from hell. I just need an html document, that weird thingie the whole World Wide Web was built upon, broken into pieces so I can keep my sanity.
Looking forward to get the fucking AWS Solutions Architect. Looking even more forward to build my farm.8 -
The ridiculous and shameful story of how simply "installing Windows" saved my hard drive from the garbage.
(Also update on https://devrant.com/rants/3105365/)
It started with my root partition turning read-only all of a sudden. Some quick search suggested that I should check the sanity of my hard drive, by running a SMART test, which failed of course. I backed up my data using ddrescue and ran a badblocks over the whole thing, which found around 800 unreadable blocks in a row. I was ready to bid farewell to my drive, but as a last resort, instead of the trash, I brought it to this place where they claimed they can repair the damaged hard drives by "surgery".
To my surprise, they returned my drive the next week, saying it is all well now, and charged me 1/8 the price of a new drive, with a refund guarantee if there was a problem in two days. There was a problem right there: I ran another SMART test which failed again, and also the faulty blocks were still unreadable! So I stormed the place and called for my refund, showing the failed SMART report. The only answer I would get from the staff was "Have you tried installing Windows?".
I usually try to be patient in such situations; I really don't like to declare publicly that "not everyone uses that stinky piece of rotten software you call an OS", but their suggestion seemed totally irrelevant! I got all types of IO errors all over the damn thing and they told me to install Windows. Why? Because this was the only test they would rely on. At last I managed to meet the "technician" there and showed him the IO errors: tried to read the bad sectors with dd and failed. He first mumbled somethings like "Have you checked the connector?" or "Are these the same blocks?", but after he ran out of bullshit, he said "Why don't you just install Windows first and see if that helps?" and I was ready to explode in his face!
"You test drives by installing Windows, just because it will make a nasty NTFS partition and probably does an fsck? If you shut your mouth for a sec and open your eyes you'll see this is a shit load of IO errors we got here: You can't install Windows, you can't even make an NTFS here, because it will try to zero-the-fuck-out the damn partition and it will face the same fucking IO error that I'm showing you right now in almost one single fucking system call!"
"I don't know this kind of test you are using. We have our own tests and they've passed successfully. So all I can do is to give you a Windows CD if you want."
"I don't need a Windows CD. I will just try to make an NTFS partition on the error spot and I will fail."
"Ok. Then call me when your done."
I was angry, not only because I felt they're just trying to avoid a refund, but also because I knew I've lost my drive. But just with hope that I could get my money back, I made a small partition over the error spot and ran `mkfs.ntfs` on it. I was ready to show the failure to the guy, but I looked more precisely and saw that "the filesystem was created successfully!" I was sure something is nor write. I then successfully mounted the new partition, write over it and read it again. I even dd'ed the blocks again, and this time there was no IO error. All of a sudden everything was fine.
I didn't know what happened. Maybe it just needed a write, while I'd just tried to read from those blocks. But anyway, I didn't called the technician guy again. I just thanked one of the staff there and said that my problem was solved. I then ran a successful SMART test and then restored my backup. Ridiculous like that.
I'm still not sure if my drive will continue to live with no more problems. I also have no explanation for what happened. (I appreciate any help on this https://superuser.com/questions/...) But I really like to see the look on the poor guy's face when he finds out that trying to install Windows just saved my ass!11 -
Can someone please read this article and sanity check me that it makes sense outside of my head and I’m not actively putting garbage out into the world?
https://amyshackles.codes/why-is-em...
I would greatly appreciate it.15 -
Okay, seriously, who invented merge conflicts? I want names! It's like playing Jenga with code, hoping your masterpiece doesn't topple over. I've seen more ">>>>>> HEAD" blocks than actual code lately.
Can we all agree to commit more frequently and save my sanity, please?5 -
Can we please stop making everything in javascript? Pretty please?
Like, I get it, js makes it easier to find developers and speeds up development, but writing a compiler to run on node? That doesn't make any sense to me. Typescript is taking ~11s to compile a medium-sized project, out of which ~9s are just type-checking (if I disable type-checking it takes ~2s to compile). Even Rust, which is considered to have a slow compiler (because of the borrow checker I assume) takes less time to compile a project of roughly the same size.
This is getting very irritating. If I want to keep type-checking, every single time I make a change on a single file I have to wait 11s before any tests start running. This was heavily affecting my productivity (and sanity), so I decided to disable type-checking and threw out the window 90% of Typescript's advantages.
Why the hell wasn't typescript written in an actually performant language? Just so you could say that typescript is written in itself? I don't get it, I really don't.14 -
Ever tried to do something “simple” and it ended up taking several days and a piece of your sanity?
Trying to connect my website to a blog site made with Hexo has been that for me.
I am actively trying to not think about the fact that my live website is so horrendously broken.
Dying inside.3 -
Linux networking: A tragedy in three acts
ACT 1:
Wherein the system administrator writes their /etc/network/interfaces file as is the custom.
ACT 2:
Wherein the kafkaesque outputs of basic networking commands threaten basic sanity. Behold:
```
# ifup ens3:1
RTNETLINK answers: File exists
Failed to bring up ens3:1.
# ifdown ens3:1
ifdown: interface ens3:1 not configured
```
ACT 3:
Wherein all sanity is lost:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)1 -
The Zen Of Ripping Off Airtable:
(patterned after The Zen Of Python. For all those shamelessly copying airtables basic functionality)
*Columns can be *reordered* for visual priority and ease of use.
* Rows are purely presentational, and mostly for grouping and formatting.
* Data cells are objects in their own right, so they can control their own rendering, and formatting.
* Columns (as objects) are where linkages and other column specific data are stored.
* Rows (as objects) are where row specific data (full-row formatting) are stored.
* Rows are views or references *into* columns which hold references to the actual data cells
* Tables are meant for managing and structuring *small* amounts of data (less than 10k rows) per table.
* Just as you might do "=A1:A5" to reference a cell range in google or excel, you might do "opt(table1:columnN)" in a column header to create a 'type' for the cells in that column.
* An enumeration is a table with a single column, useful for doing the equivalent of airtables options and tags. You will never be able to decide if it should be stored on a specific column, on a specific table for ease of reuse, or separately where it and its brothers will visually clutter your list of tables. Take a shot if you are here.
* Typing or linking a column should be accomplishable first through a command-driven type language, held in column headers and cells as text.
* Take a shot if you somehow ended up creating any of the following: an FSM, a custom regex parser, a new programming language.
* A good structuring system gives us options or tags (multiple select), selections (single select), and many other datatypes and should be first, programmatically available through a simple command-driven language like how commands are done in datacells in excel or google sheets.
* Columns are a means to organize data cells, and set constraints and formatting on an entire range.
* Row height, can be overridden by the settings of a cell. If a cell overrides the row and column render/graphics settings, then it must be drawn last--drawing over the default grid.
* The header of a column is itself a datacell.
* Columns have no order among themselves. Order is purely presentational, and stored on the table itself.
* The last statement is because this allows us to pluck individual columns out of tables for specialized views.
*Very* fast scrolling on large datasets, with row and cell height variability is complicated. Thinking about it makes me want to drink. You should drink too before you embark on implementing it.
* Wherever possible, don't use a database.
If you're thinking about using a database, see the previous koan.
* If you use a database, expect to pick and choose among column-oriented stores, and json, while factoring for platform support, api support, whether you want your front-end users to be forced to install and setup a full database,
and if not, what file-based .so or .dll database engine is out there that also supports video, audio, images, and custom types.
* For each time you ignore one of these nuggets of wisdom, take a shot, question your sanity, quit halfway, and then write another koan about what you learned.
* If you do not have liquor on hand, for each time you would take a shot, spank yourself on the ass. For those who think this is a reward, for each time you would spank yourself on the ass, instead *don't* spank yourself on the ass.
* Take a sip if you *definitely* wildly misused terms from OOP, MVP, and spreadsheets.5 -
Small chaotic startup that never grew up (15 years atm).
Hosts/maintains a number of apps/sites for various customers.
At some point, someone decides that a CMS would be usefull to maintain the content across all products. Forgoing all sense, reason and the very notion of "additional maintenance and dev" it is decided that one should be built in-house.
Fast forward a number of years.
Ops performs routine maintenance on prod-servers. A java-patch accidently knocks out one of the pillars a 3rd party lib the CMS uses for storing images. CMS basically burst in to flames causing a.... significant incident.
Enter yours truly to fix the mess.
Spend a few days replacing the affected 3rd party lib. Run tests on CMS in test and staging environments. Apply java-patch. All seems fine.
When speaking to frontenders and app-devs, a significant hurdle present itself:
All test/staging instances of all websites/apps/etc ALL USE PRODUCTION CMS. Hardcoded. No way around.
There is -no- way to properly test and verify the functionality of any changes made to the home-brewed CMS.
My patch did indeed work in the end.
But did the company learn anything? Did they listen to my reasoning, pleading or even anguished screams for sanity?
No.6 -
For some reason I keep over engineering stuff to the point I spend 2 hours thinking the best way to do something. I'm making the backend for a project of mine and I wanted somewhat decent error handling and useful error responses. I won't go into detail here but let's say that in any other (oo) language it would be a no-brainer to do this with OOP inheritance, but Rust does OOP by composition (and there's no way to upcast traits and downcasting is hard). I ended up wasting so much time thinking of how to do something generic enough, easily extendable and that doesn't involve any boilerplate or repeated code with no success. What I didn't realize is that my API will not be public (in the sense that the API is not the service I offer), I'm the only one who needs to figure out why I got a 400 or a 403. There's no need to return a response stating exactly which field had a wrong value or exactly what resource had it's access denied to the user. I can just look at the error code, my documentation and the request I made to infer what caused the error. If that does not work I can always take a quick look at the source code of the server to see what went wrong. So In short I ended up thrashing all the refactoring I had done and stayed with my current solution for error-handling. I have found a few places that could use some improvement, but it's nothing compared to the whole revamp I was doing of the whole thing.
This is not the first time I over engineer stuff (and probably won't be the last). I think I do it in order to be future-proof. I make my code generic enough so in case any requirements change in the future I don't have to rewrite everything, but that adds no real value to my stuff since I'm always working solo, the projects aren't super big and a rewrite wouldn't take too long. In the end I just end up wasting time, sanity and keystrokes on stuff that will just slow down my development speed further down the road without generating any benefits.
Why am I like this? Oh well, I'm just glad I figured out this wasn't necessary before putting many hours of work into it. -
Fucking incompetent manager.
I could spend my time trying to convince him about the leaner, faster way to launch.
But in order to maintain my own sanity and peace of mind, I have decided to let him screw up the project. Time to plan for an exit.3 -
With his last tweets (and the last days), Musk has shown he is a total fraud.
This thousand requests story was possible to check just by installing a Wireshark-like on Android.
And I remember having a CTO exactly like this. Always an opinion on every damn technical thing, often making no sense at all and all the time totally off.
Which drives me to this conclusion :
If you are a CTO/CEO/C Bullshit O, go back to your damn office, fill your paperwork and for the sanity of every engineer, shut your mouth.22 -
So... in the last few months i shared the office with a real estate company. I didnt pay rent and in exchange i would help them with different stuff.... on monday i will be moving into my own office again... damn it was a hard period of time and i want to thank devRant for helping me keep my sanity. THANK YOU!2
-
Trying to manage and develop five massive projects does not leave much free time and does not do much for my sanity.3
-
Let's see what's on the menu today:
* Web Application Catastrophe Special *
Includes, but not limited to:
- Orphaned server processes in the configuration management cluster
- Microservice back-end architecture with no API documentation
- Poorly implemented cache microservice with no documentation
- Stale data causing everything to be shown as down in production, despite everything running fine
Cost: 1 developer's sanity -
So as expected, due to the rush of the submission on Friday, the app was rejected.
I'm fairly certain they never got past the first screen or two.
We have some things to fix, and some things to tackle properly now, which is quite nice, however the current main issue numero uno is that an Apple developer account can take up to 10 days to be created, and Go Live is next Monday.
I wonder who will get the blame for not taking on the "Investigate the iTunes release process" ticket that was in Jira, assigned to someone for ~4 months. -
So we have this fucking project that came straight out o Satan's anus managed by 3 fucking PMs that each of them seem to be on a different drug and none of them seem to talk to each other despite the fact that they don't shut the fuck up on meetings.
They end up asking for conflicting changes every fucking time... Like:
PM1: change this to red
PM2: change this ( same thing ) to blue
PM3: should be green
Every day I stray further away from sanity. Maybe I'll be the 4th PM in some months by this rate of craziness my mind is diving into. -
There is nothing more beautiful than having to embed legacy shit into an new website because the customer is a cheap arse and doesn't want to budget the whole pissing redesign package of his website.
I hope you choke on the next meal your stinky gullet has to swallow!1 -
Prettier formatter, AirBnB linter.
Prettier defaults to double quotes for strings. AirBnB loves it some single quotes. Would probably be able to change the configuration in order to maintain sanity *now*, but when I was a newbie dev, I was given a repo with AirBnB linting built in after being recommended Prettier.
It was not fun times.4 -
I just think about it ...
Running docker on windows is shit
Running nginix on windows is boofff
Running apache on windows is boofff
Running WWS on windows is hugly
Install linux
All server software run like king
Don't have access to any adobe product for design and micro$hit office for client sanity because ODF is to special, i want my docx i said ... Like what do you want from me ... Shit the dev setup is a fucking mess because some enterprises don't want to wet itself in the futur...
Microsoft love linux BULLSHIT6 -
So ok, today was a crazy day.
New sprint, new ticket.
Work on the bug tickets first he said ….
Sure can. Oh had I just known that this very first innocent looking ticket is the way to coder‘s hell ….
‚Access of undefined‘ it said. Easy to fix, I thought.
Until I found the very same code twenty-fucking-two times over about 50 files!
Who would guess that exportSingleOperatorBooking, exportSeveralOperatorBookings, exportAllOperatorBookings (… and more) could in practically be the same? Nah, they all use different interfaces.
Oh wait, the alias type of the extended sub-interface of file misc.ts is the same logical content as a differently named interface below another different interface with the same content as in another ts file?
Wait that can‘t be. Riiiiight?? 😳
8h later I have barely scratched the surface of refactoring this shitshow of a project.
But no, I refuse to put the same error handling multiple times in different places.
I could have been done already. I could have saved my soul, my sanity. But I will be brave and strong to save the innocent developer that will cometh after me. For I shall be rewardeth for my sacrifice.
Amen.8 -
What keeps me from loosing my sanity every day? A mentor who taught me the value of "nuke and pave" automation. Just nuked the entire Azure resource group, including virtual networks, subnets, virtual machines, vpn connections, the whole nine yards. Redeploy takes about 5 minutes.
-
So for the past one month I'm working on an enhancement in a product coded in C++ and shell script, running on RHEL. After toiling away for almost 10 hours/day for a month, the enhacement is ready. Coded, tested, documented. Ready to ship.
The client is supposed to recieve the update as a drop. 1 day before the drop is scheduled to be released to Quality Control, I fire an overnight build on the build machine, update the change request ticket, update other related tickets, inform QC of the drop to be released tomorrow. On the D-day, I package the drop using the company's painfully arduous method. Everything is ready by the evening, and the drop is good to go.
At 7pm (one hour before the drop is to be released), Jack fucking Jack-o-lantern (one of the top most exec in the company) tells me that the default value of the parameter introduced in the enhancement, needs to be changed from 86400 to 1500. HALF AN HOUR BEFORE THE DROP IS TO BE RELAEASED!
Now here I am, changing the value in over 25 files, followed by firing an overnight build, followed by sanity testing, change specific testing, followed by drop packaging, followed by inform QC that the drop will be delayed.
All because fucking jack-o-lantern wanted to change the fucking default value.
GOOD FOR YOU FUCKING JACK.2 -
I have had it with this motherflipping NullPointerExceptions, on my motherflipping method. Catch you tomorrow Exception, you will not have the better of my sanity today.
-
I'm starting to rethink the 'Software Developer' title as 'Sanity Maintainer'...
Software Development is just convoluted.. and it often comes with stress; I hate stress.2 -
Note to devs here. Please don't choose a framework for the hype at your work. Use it on your own time or company hackaton/learning time.
I'm looking at you angular.
Production ready doesn't mean sanity ready.
Now because some dev choose such technology for arbitrary reasons. (hype, latest acronym on CV). I spend more time debugging and understanding than I would if some simpler technology was chosen. Look at all the options then choose the simplest one that has and seems to have active maintenance. Zen of python is the best thing to happen in programming and I think everyone, even if you don't like Python should follow it. Save you and your colleagues brain time and ask for advice.
Also IMO react is probably third or second best option, higher if one requirement is to be react native. Angular is even lower because it's complexity is unforgivable when a dev has not enough front-end experience.8 -
when you think you're done coding and can finally start writing...
So you guys have seen my Unreal Engine adventures. I have to use a plugin for it, on top of everything, to extract some data. I've been using this plugin since ages on another pc, but now I had to set it up from scratch since this is a new project, new models, etc.
There is a new version. If I use the new one, it will break the chain which is to follow.
The old version is so legacy that the guy who wrote it does not remember how to set it up.
After hours, and tons of hacks and outcommenting stuff (there is physics involved with which I do nothing), it finally starts doing something. Finally!
Although I'm slowly loosing my sanity in the process....
Even if it now records the data, I cannot say if this is good enough or if the poses are all wonky now.
And that is my masters thesis. Submission deadline is on monday. Ha.
Ironically, since the start of this thesis, I felt like this will either make me or break me. ;D So much fun... FK2 -
I love to work on very small, but completely retarded shitty projects.
It's just satisfying cause the projects are dead as fuck, only kept alive because the migrations still take too long...
Most of them only work entirely correct when all stars align, Nostradamus raises from it's grave and fulfills the prophecy of world end.
Joke aside, they really only work under very specific constraints....
.......
😈
So no one gives a damn when you just reformat the whole project, making it less of a diarrhea infested mess....
Plus add some much needed sanity by throwing refactoring fission bomb in it.
Still not works entirely correct...
... But it looks way sexier. :)
Small things that count... XD -
Sometimes I write code so pristine, so sexy it blinds
but sometimes...
sometimes I can't let it go
gotta get back to it
make it flashier, prettier, faster, smaller...
And always, ALWAYS! I shit over it, full-blown dysentery. diarrhea so bleak, so dark and nasty it makes me question my sanity, my soul cracks, my mind numbs...
Today was one of these days, but it was the last. I shall never ever do that again.4 -
There's people that should be in jail.
Or at least they should be banned to use a computer. And I'm looking directly at this company that provides a dodgy API, which is just a ton of static XML files hosted behind an apache. One file per language, of course. You want the prices too? Another url. In German? Oh, another url.
Wait, they're working on v3!! Which will support... json! I don't give a damn about json as long as you provide some sanity with your urls godfuckit.1 -
Seriously guys, how do you deal when remotely collaborating with lets say not the most motivated and competent devs?
Our scrum team got formed about 6 months ago from leftover devs of other teams, choosing a couple competent devs at the core and other devs who were kinda gotten rid of by their old teams, and after 6 months of working together I can see why.
Situation is that we are 7 devs in our team and 4 of devs are not pulling their weight. They are seniors on paper, but in reality not really.
They rarely take something complex to work on and even if they do, they make sure they take as much time as possible. Two of them are contractors who I imagine decided to treat the job as a paycheck and nothing more. There is no initiative, no push to make things better and in general attitude is to do bare minimum: only what is being asked and then delaying the hell out of tasks.
Im not exaggareting: Im talking about every possible way of dragging out the tasks: delaying communication, sitting around for a few days while not asking for new tasks to work on if they are blocked, also avoiding standups. Working for days on very basic comments in their MR's. Getting "sick" for a couple days on deadline when things get tough, so that someone else would come in, refactor and save the day. Once or twice it could be a coincidence, but nowadays I can already guess ahead of time what kind of trick they will pull now.
Our project is an android app where we have to support few different tablets, so the most recent new trick that I witnessed is devs avoiding hardware delivers, sometimes for months. Idea seems to be if you dont ping your team that you dont have hardware, then you can avoid working on related tasks with that hardware.
Worst part is that they get away with it. Our teamlead is a senior dev who is first time teamlead, doesnt code anymore and doesnt want to rock the boat. He is the type of teamlead who sets arbitrary deadlines, makes it sound that they are urgent and takes a few days off in the middle of chaos just before deadline. Restrospectives don't help at all and if I try to bring up stuff directly to him he tells me to bring it up during retrospectives. We discuss issues, rant a bit ant then continue carying on like nothing happened and nothing changes.
So little by little in the past 6 months we came to this point where 2-3 devs are carrying the weight of the team and are in a constant crunch mode, while others are allowed to slack. Its becoming ridiculous.
Problem is that this is starting to affect our morale. Only way that is left to keep my sanity right now is to pull away sometimes and also slack. Then I come back at full capacity, give my best for a couple weeks until I have to go and fix some basic leftover task that has been purposefully dragged out for 2 months and left unfinished, then I just want to scream and I know that its time to disconnect again.7 -
Turns out the reason the selection of RA cores on the PS3 sucks so much dick is that it has a half-complete OpenGL implementation.
Fuck it, we're doing it live. I've got CFW, i'll dynarec if I damn well please. If it won't compile i'll fucking make it compile, I don't give a fuck about "sanity restraints" and "needing OpenGL 2" and "LV1 required" I can fucking replace all of LV1 and LV2 if I fucking want FUCK YOU
The Cell processor is pretty beefy, I could prolly do it all-CPU if I wanted.8 -
Google's PageSpeed is recommending that I reduce the size of a 109kb photographic image to 2kb, which would definitely reduce its size...to a blurry, pixelated mess. Is it all just robots over there programming this stuff now? Doesn't anyone know how to sanity check their code around these types of logical inconsistencies?3
-
I feel like IE is an example of a deep rooted demon beast that spawns fucktarded bloat transpilers like BABEL.
When companies try to invent their own wheels, or do their own thing is when the pits of developer hell start to spawn such fucking convoluted fucktarded bullshit.
Abstract to Design:
I'm trying to think of a world where things are standardized, as boring as it sounds... Imagine if companies weren't so fucktarded with greedy smoke and mirrors, and they all contributed to making a single product standardized and workable, and improve on that product... Like a physics "Standard model" but for each product invented.
But no... here we are... 20 million ways to accomplish one similar task, with 20 million different designs, with majority adhering to their own flaws... or planned obsolecence... 10 million booby traps of consumer remorse.
Why do we do this as a society just to make some bastard company's profit margin go up, so they can keep competing in the "free market" of fuck all fuckery?
I get it.. yea... innovation... sure..
but sometimes innovation is just a means to and end of sanity, especially when they are proprietary, and especially when that proprietary shit turns to, well... shit!
In a perfect world, things will be designed open-sourced, compatible, and improved upon without "breaking" changes... but this is virtually impossible without standardization of the VERY fundamental components. But then those components can be improved, and might be smaller/lighter/more efficient by design, and simply wont work with the old versions without drastic "TRANSPILATION"
I suppose this is the way it is always going to be... Neverending stream of design "improvements". I suppose being a developer in todays world is a bittersweet existence... unless you're just trying to make ends meet... in that case. I think I might be in hell.
Take a look at web-dev today with all the "improvements" ... it's literally turned into a jungle of FUCK MY LIFE. A giant dick waiving contest with all these dicks colliding against each other in cluster fuck bombardment.
God help us all.... and now back to coding.4 -
Worst dev disaster?
Welp, my now 6 year old Mac keeps sending signal to my monitors that in my experience regardless of OS generally says "my video card is gonna fuckin die soon".
I've re-installed the Windows partition like 3 times, but that responds to the video card problems so bad it pretty much just BSODs... but the Mac side soldiers on, just occasionally having weird visual glitches. Thats fine, I work on the Mac side.
And I don't really want to spend a shit ton on a new computer... but I do want a Mac, so I'm gonna spend a shit ton.
So now I have to decide if I can hold out for an M1 or if I should just shell like thousands for a Mac that will be out of date in like 4 months. After which for development purposes I'd still have to buy at least the M1 dev kit Mac Mini.
All of which hinges on this effing video card lasting another few months.
Because if it doesn't I'm going to have to use my kids 8GB fuckin HP laptop as my main dev machine while I get another Mac in the mail and that would fucking suck not to mention the like minimum two days sleep I'd lose just setting up the required local environments I'd need... not to mention I'd have to do all that in Windows... so I'd have to find Windows equivalents for all my dev tools. Or fuck it, maybe I could just install Putty and server cowboy everything... but it would still suck.
And, of course, I don't have time to do any of that because I have the normal like 2 tight deadlines on shit.
The next few months of my life, potentially my ability to earn a living, potentially my sanity...
Hangs on the health of a fucking six year old heavily abused video card.9 -
Front-end web development is like a fucking cancer to me right now
I need the following behavior from my development environment if I don't want the webdev experience to destroy my sanity and tempt me into suicide by making me waste my valuable lifetime configuring shit that is ultimately meaningless to the software I'm trying to create:
- I should be able to open the webpage in the browser at localhost:<some-port>
- the page should refresh immediately as I save my files
- I should be able to import node modules installed with npm without using a script tag linking to some CDN (for instance, I want to do a get request with axios instead of the fetch API)
- I should be able to do this without spending more than two minutes reading the documentation for a tool that would enable me to do it, ideally without ever coming even close to touching a configuration file
Right now I know about browser-sync and webpack, or webpack-dev-server or some such fucking shit fuck fucking fuck.
browser-sync seems to fulfill most of these needs, except that I can't seem to bring npm modules into my application and import them. Webpack seems to be able to do this, but at the cost of slowly throwing my life away reading documentation for over-complicated configuration files that do not aid me in actual software creation and therefore do not interest me and never will, all in the hope that I *may* at some point dig out enough shit to find how to do such a use case (i.e. seamless, smooth web development) that to me feels reasonably common and expected.
Is there some tool that enables me to do *seamless*, pleasurable web development without the hassles of over-complication and over-engineering? Is there some hidden command for webpack that allows me to run such simple shit without ever needing to edit some pointless configuration file?
Please, I beg of you, let me know.8 -
I watched an episode of Brooklyn 99. Cop comedy show for those of you who don't know. They introduced me to the monty hall problem? My brain refuses to understand it and im rapidly losing my mind.
Has anyone here ever written a program that tests it? I can't read math theorems for shit. But I can read code. And I need my sanity back.2 -
We should once and for all,
put all IE11 devs in front of a wall
stone them with small rocks
until they bleed out of their socks
then proceed to melt them
with a blazing hot flame
until they are just piles of ash,
I will party like a lush!
This rant wasn't supposed to be a cheap poem, but I can't expect you to read a rant in swiss-german consisting of 98% cussing, swearing and death threats.4 -
<sanityCheck> //asking for a friend
Some clever b*****ds wrecked a section of our production mysql db. To fix it I need to rollback the affected records 2 weeks - around 50/300 tables are affected, the other data must remain intact.
Currently my plan is to take a 2 week old dump and cherry pick the data I need from it, then combine it with a dump of the db in it's current state, drop the db and recreate it.
I know this approach will work - but it's risky, a pain in the ass and dealing with 300mb text files is tedious so since I only need to start in around 8 hours I figured It wouldn't hurt to post my approach and see if anyone thinks my plan is borderline retarded.
If you have any advice .etc that will make my life easier I would greatly appreciate it.
So in your opinion...
- is there a better/safer way?
- do you know of any db dump merge tools?
- have a recommended (linux) text editor for large text files?
- have you made any personal mistakes/fuck ups in the past you think I should avoid?
- am I just being a moron and overthinking this?
- if I am being a moron - In your humble opinion has the time come for me to give up all hope and pursue my dream of becoming a professional couch surfer?
</sanityCheck>
Note: Alternatively, if your just pissed that my rant is asking for a solution instead of simply trashing the people that created my situation and your secretly wishing it was on SO where it belongs so you can moderate/edit/downvote/mark the shit out it, feel welcome to troll me in the comments (getting dev advice just doesn't feel reliable without a troll - you matter to me). Afterwards If your panties are still in a bunch I'll post it on SO and dm a link to you to personally moderate - my days already fucked and I wouldn't want to ruin yours too.4 -
Naaarf
Refactoring the whole day.
Someone who prefers while(list(...) = each(...)) or for($x=0; $x < count($array); $x++) wrote the following code, too.
if ($indexed == null || $indexed == "0" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 0 || $indexed == "1" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 1) ....
It's buggy. Why does this not surprise me?
This stuff. Whole day.
My brain feels foggy.5 -
really really bad ear infection, main rig finally gave up but i gotta wait 3 weeks to replace it still, gotta apply for SSDI and Medicaid or i'm gonna slowly and painfully die, college rapidly taking sanity i don't have
when will it end1 -
Test functions that are longer than a screen and requires a team of scientists and archeologists to try and decipher WTF they were trying to test and why they might be breaking...
Extract method -> give reasonable name -> save sanity of next dev to try and work out wtf is going on -
Disclaimer: I should know what I'm doing but I don't. 😢
I'm a very experienced full stack dev (15+ years), but I don't know the more modern JS frameworks. I'm trying to learn React and I have a little project I'd like to do.
I have database (in both SQLite form and JSON form). I'd like to read from it, parse it and run various displays in a shared hosting environment (that doesn't have node). So webpack. And either an API to get the data or a React compatible SQL component.
But dagnamit, I cannot find a tutorial or example with this kind of set up and I can't figure it out. What packages do I need and what kind of config?
I genuinely thought this would be a traditional and simple architecture but I'm obviously mistaken. And I'm about to turn in my developer card because I'm clearly a stupid twonk.
Has anyone done this? Do you know of any tutorials or examples of this kind of thing? Is there somewhere else I should ask this question? Thanks anyway...5 -
This happened towards the end of a data archival project I was involved in.
It was the last day of the project and we were in the process of handing over the system to the client. As it so happened, the client, while doing a sanity check, found out that some unwanted data had not been deleted from the database.
On project manager said to us, "Let's delete the unwanted records manually."
The only problem. There were three of us and over 150000 entries to delete (the system had around ten years of data).
In the end, we came up with a logic to identity the unwanted records, and I created a small program to delete the entries using this logic.
To this day it is still not clear as to what inspired the PM to come up with such a suggestion. -
Another terrible rant from the inhereted Hydra source code. So deep in the dark dungeon of that code I noticed something interesting. They declare this INT32 array with an incredibly long (like 200 values) list of hard coded magic numbers. Something along the lines of:
INT32 array[200] = {-1,0,1,21,4,7,19,33...};
However, the resulting output was incorrect. After spending a fort night and a good chunk of my remaining sanity I had overcone the 437 levels of indirection left by the previous programmers, and narrowed it down to this line. But it looked perfectly fine.
I pull up the diffs and notice someone had checked in a change to the source. I track it to this line and find what the original data had been.
INT32 array[200] = {-1,0,1,2l,4,7,19,33...};
In VS the default font shows l and 1 as fucking identical. Someone had accidentally made that change to 21 from the original 2l and checked it in. I mean I can't really blame them. Who the fucking hell inatantiates a fucking int32 array and peppers in a fucking 2l (long) for no fucking reason?! -
I have bills to pay, I’ve got mouths to feed. 💵 don’t grow on 🌳
I also take breaks, exercise and vacations, no dev can work 24/7 and expect to keep his sanity.5 -
opus > gpt
spent days trying to get info out of gpt and I think it made me question my own sanity. my brain is so tired and mangled by the whole experience
tried opus and it can remember a conversation and doesn't gaslight you all the time. goddamn
and it writes code that you can actually read
and it will actually answer questions instead of equivocating like a condescending dick10 -
I'm on that part of life when you know they are gonna make you feel ashamed of yourself on SO but you already past that sanity bar.
-
More frequent commits are imperative to your sanity!
Trying to find a code change in git, and I stumbled across a commit comment I can't even remember doing!1 -
What the actual motherfucking fuck? What have I done so bad in my previous life to get this shit? Did I slay little cute puppies?
So I got a call from the client and he argued about how slow the system runs or that it happens that the copy commands fails.
It sounded interessting and I didn't know in what kind of rabbithole I'm going through.
The system is always in the year 2012 (don't ask why, it's just hardcoded ... another rant story).
Some of you maybe know that bug because it was very popular.
Wayne train, let's continue -> I saw that the copy command fails sometimes and that the system has a high CPU usage and futex lockups. Pretty strange and doesn't seem obivous why that is.
Sadly there are no logs in the system (not implemented and again ... another.fucking.rant.story.)
The system is kinda old and to patch it would mean to port shitty written programs and I don't have the time for that..
After searching and testing for weeks I finally found the fucking fuckidi fucked up problem.
A WRONG IMPLEMENTATION OF THE MOTCHERFUCKING LEAPSECOND CAUSED THIS SHITTY SHIT. A.FUCKING.LEAPSECOND. In all this time I questioned my OWN FUCKING SANITY! NOT EVERY FUCKING MINUTE HAS 60 SECONDS. THERE ARE SOME WITH 61!!
WHAT.THE.ACTUCAL.FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.........
I'm just mad af. It's such a release to find the solution but it's so fucked up you just wanna jump of a bridge
Here if you are interested about this bullshit: https://bugs.launchpad.net/ubuntu/... -
Maybe I am beyond sanity or I'm ignoring myself as a masochist, but I find dividing huge-ass React DOM lines into multiple smaller components then reconnect everything extremely satisfying.
It's like, cutting a human body into small pieces, and tidy the parts up into a small compartments, BUT still connect the bones, muscles and nevers so that somehow, the dude still lives.
You know what, I'm going for the "beyond sanity" thing.
But worth it.6 -
My manager had someone else manage me for my whole time at the company so far. Nearly two years now. Anything I’d come to him with, he’d direct me to this other person.
Fair enough, dude’s really good and I learn a lot from him. I see why they trust him with so much. I think he’s a genius. I’ll never be that good. Embarrassed I’m only a few years his junior. Wonder why he’s okay with being a manager for employee pay. Don’t think about it much, normal corporate BS.
Well it got way more “normal” when his ass got laid off without notice. Feel terrible. Him and 70% of my branch’s full timers. Wonder how I got so lucky. Everyone’s gone. We barely have enough people to do a standup. They all had 5+ years on their belts minimum. Only the contractors are left.
Manager emergency meets with me. Tells me all his best staff are gone and I am now the only front end guy on the team. He tells me he is not confident in the fact I am responsible for all of the old guys work and he is worried. He thinks I can’t do it cause he thinks I suck. Fuck me man.
My manager is pissing himself realizing he has lost the only people keeping HIS job for him. He has no clue my skill level. He sees my PR’s take a bit longer to merge, yet doesn’t realize I asked that friend of mine who was managing me to critique my code a bit harder, mentorship if you will, so we’d often chat about how to make the code better or different ways of approaching problems from his brain, which I appreciated. He has seen non-blocking errors come through in our build pipelines, like a quota being reached for our kube cluster (some server BS idfk, all I know is I message this Chinese man on slack when I get this error and he refreshes the pods for me) which means we can only run a build 8x in one day before we are capped. Of all people, he should be aware of this error message and what is involved with fixing it but he sees it and nope, he reaches out to me (after the other guy had logged out already, of course) stating my merged code changes broke the build and reverts it before EOD. Next day, build works fine. He has the other guy review my PR and approve, goes on assuming he helped me fix my broken code.
Additionally, he’s been off the editor for so long this fool wouldn’t even pass an intro to JavaScript course if he tried. He doesn’t know what I’m doing because HE just doesn’t know what I’m doing. Fuck me twice man.
I feel awful.
The dude who got fired has been called in for pointless meetings TO REVIEW MY CODE still. Like a few a week since he was laid off. When I ask my manager to approve my proposals, or check to verify the sanity of something (lots of new stuff, considering I’m the new manager *coughs*) he tells me he will check with him and get back to me (doesn’t) or he tells me to literally email him myself, but not to make any changes until he signs off on them.
It’s crazy cause he still gets on me about the speed of stuff. Bro we got NOTHING coming from top down because we just fired the whole damn corp and you have me emailing an ex-employee to verify PATCH LEVEL CHANGES TO OUR FUCKING CODE.
GET ME OUT5 -
So today I finally lost my sanity and public'ed by somewhat Chromium OS board overlay and built on top of that already...
so yeah...
source here: https://github.com/sr229/maru
I need to reconsider my life choices1 -
I build a project for internal team around a year ago. QA did sanity and we released. Product wasn’t used and suddenly they decided they want to use project. They forgot almost everything about project feature. I had product doc and ask them to follow. Still they kept making mistake. And finally they found an edge case bug. Now these idiots making noise that product is buggy we are blocked. We are not able to use.
After I fixed it is working but these idiots are asking why there was bug and made us blocked to use product. They couldn’t follow doc to use their own product. They are just trying to pin blame on me and wash their hands. I was really pissed . I told there was bug but why the fuck it took a year to know ? And yes there is bug but it’s edge case and it happens when you guys make mistakes from your side then only it happens. Even if it is bug. What the fuck you want. Have you never made any mistake in your life? Go fuck yourself. There was bug but I don’t care. Bugs are part of release.1 -
Lately with our client, everything has become very "urgent" and top priority. So much so that I’m asked to drop a top priority issue to tackle a new top priority issue, and then asked to drop that one too to take on another new “even more“ top priority task. In the end they’ll all have to be dealt with but dang I’m losing all sense of continuity, I’m losing my efficiency as my flow keeps on being broken by something new I have to jump to and in the end I’m kinda losing my sanity. Fuck this!1
-
I feel like whoever works with Magento full time either has ascended or completely lost their sanity.4
-
Avoid Jetbrains products if you value your sanity.
For the last several months, my settings and stored database credentials are wiped out at random. Meaning code styles, indention settings, keymaps, database settings, plugins, local change history, cache, all of it are reset to factory default at random, costing me hours trying to restore it all.
I've updated and it is still happening.
The moral of the lesson is to not pay for dev tools, lest you become reliant on them. You definitely don't get what you're paying for anymore.11 -
Rubber ducking your ass in a way, I figure things out as I rant and have to explain my reasoning or lack thereof every other sentence.
So lettuce harvest some more: I did not finish the linker as I initially planned, because I found a dumber way to solve the problem. I'm storing programs as bytecode chunks broken up into segment trees, and this is how we get namespaces, as each segment and value is labeled -- you can very well think of it as a file structure.
Each file proper, that is, every path you pass to the compiler, has it's own segment tree that results from breaking down the code within. We call this a clan, because it's a family of data, structures and procedures. It's a bit stupid not to call it "class", but that would imply each file can have only one class, which is generally good style but still technically not the case, hence the deliberate use of another word.
Anyway, because every clan is already represented as a tree, we can easily have two or more coexist by just parenting them as-is to a common root, enabling the fetching of symbols from one clan to another. We then perform a cannonical walk of the unified tree, push instructions to an assembly queue, and flatten the segmented memory into a single pool onto which we write the assembler's output.
I didn't think this would work, but it does. So how?
The assembly queue uses a highly sophisticated crackhead abstraction of the CVYC clan, or said plainly, clairvoyant code of the "fucked if I thought this would be simple" family. Fundamentally, every element in the queue is -- recursively -- either a fixed value or a function pointer plus arguments. So every instruction takes the form (ins (arg[0],arg[N])) where the instruction and the arguments may themselves be either fixed or indirect fetches that must be solved but in the ~ F U T U R E ~
Thusly, the assembler must be made aware of the fact that it's wearing sunglasses indoors and high on cocaine, so that these pointers -- and the accompanying arguments -- can be solved. However, your hemorroids are great, and sitting may be painful for long, hard times to come, because to even try and do this kind of John Connor solving pinky promises that loop on themselves is slowly reducing my sanity.
But minor time travel paradoxes aside, this allows for all existing symbols to be fetched at the time of assembly no matter where exactly in memory they reside; even if the namespace is mutated, and so the symbol duplicated, we can still modify the original symbol at the time of duplication to re-route fetchers to it's new location. And so the madness begins.
Effectively, our code can see the future, and it is not pleased with your test results. But enough about you being a disappointment to an equally misconstructed institution -- we are vermin of science, now stand still while I smack you with this Bible.
But seriously now, what I'm trying to say is that linking is not required as a separate step as a result of all this unintelligible fuckery; all the information required to access a file is the segment tree itself, so linking is appending trees to a new root, and a tree written to disk is essentially a linkable object file.
Mission accomplished... ? Perhaps.
This very much closes the chapter on *virtual* programs, that is, anything running on the VM. We're still lacking translation to native code, and that's an entirely different topic. Luckily, the language is pretty fucking close to assembler, so the translation may actually not be all that complicated.
But that is a story for another day, kids.
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WHY THE FUCKETY FIDGETS DOES THIS ERROR HAPPEN ONLY ONE FOURTH THE TIME?!?!
What's really okay with the rest 75%, huh?
I'm losing my sanity.6 -
Recently I completed a whole year in programming. Holy jebus, I have no idea I could make it through.
I started thinking I was "decent" at this because I had taken a half dozen courses in python plus some algorithm logic in school lol @ innocent me
I'm an applied math student and I hereby declare I was the most incompetent dude you'll ever see.
I've been through so much shit I didn't realize I had a shitty boss, because one would think it's normal for a beginner to approach everything in programming because I was told to do so. Full blown restful apis, stateful redux react apps with responsive CSS using Google's material design. Don't forget to dockerize everything and deploy the swarm on Amazon cloud all the while having to run integration unit tests, make sure all the rules on your nginx are correct we don't want exposure do you know how to write a visualization tool on JavaScript so we can 3d-fy some x-ray prints and good luck balancing tight schedules with your school and girlfriend ye right lul
My manager would ask me to deliver new shit to an app I was developing mostly by my self in react (I barely even knew what RFC or ES6 was by the time I started).
I got fired from this project because I couldn't deliver by myself what 5 experienced dudes could (debatable, but still... Cuz they couldn't when they took over. Boss wanted to rewrite the whole app in a week and a half)
Turns out I got called back by the same company but to contribute in another project. This time to automate some shizzle with python.
Feelsgoodman but I want out ASAP can't stay sane for longer -
xcode rant
After a long and exhausting progress that feels like it took days! (maybe a day lol). I came to the conclusion that StoryBoard is probably one of the biggest pains in the universe. I tried to center a UIImage View for an eternity to work both with landscape and portriat and continued to get vaying results with no actual pattern whatsoever.... One day I woke up and there was actually more textfields than were originally put on...... wahhhhh?
Within this eternity I decided that my only hope against losing all sanity and bashing my head against a keyboard screaming "#$%# you Xcode!" was to do the UI in AutoLayout Programmatically. Took me 1 hour.... thats it... Just one. Instant love. haha
Okay Im done now. Have a great day devRanters! -
Quess who's back again, php oudated piece of shit monolith codebase. So we have a relatively huge client we need to migrate to AWS.
It is written with yii, all object-oriented. The way it's implemented makes me question my love for object oriented as well my sanity for even accepting this project.
I probably could talk about this piece of shit for hours but the fact they save 3 gigabyte of qr code images is the fucking worst. It's literally a few one hundred thousand images who could be generated on the fly.
Please for the love of god, let me finish this migration tomorrow.4 -
Being pretty much the only one who has some knowledge of how to code and get my way around tech (even if minimal, I'm too lazy for my own good) in my familiar household - and by extension, my family (Family extends FamiliarHousehold - LoL I'm sorry) - (my brother is on his first grade of a programming course in high school, I'm a 2nd grade uni student aiming to become a game dev) sometimes I wish I knew nothing of it.
Don't get me wrong, I do like working on code (if in Java. C is making me wanna tear my eyes out) but sometimes ignorant family members push me through the edge.
I worked on a business thing my family started this summer and one of the "jobs" was managing everything via a website.
Fair enough, I knew nothing of it when I started but I learn fast and just like that I knew my way around it. The problem came when I had to teach the person who started the project how it worked. This doesn't sound all that bad except he is kinda in the stone age regarding informatics.
He got a computer a few years ago and he pretty much only played poker in it, and he still had one of those old nokias you could throw to a wall and get a hole into it. The computer is like 9y and runs like crap.
To make things worse he bought a new phone, a smartphone, and pestered me to teach him. I swear trying to teach him is like repeating the same thing 1000x and pray he keeps it in his head. Spoiler: he doesn't. ( sanity--; )
So to try and easy my suffering I decided to make a manual for the website (which is outdated by now because the team behind the website did a 180 and some things looks different), but it acted as if I'd done nothing. ( sanity--; )
To top this off he keeps on saying I don't wanna help him. ( sanity--; )
This kept going for the whole damn summer, and meanwhile I had to go back to uni and in the first days I still got like 4-5 calls/day, half of those might about the smallest things because he's so panicky.
Like (both examples happened while I was still there but it kinda goes along those lines sometimes):
- (During the period they changed the website the first time since we're there; they were mostly doing changes back and forth and testing because it had a new layout for a day or 2 before going back; also the site was totally functional, except for a thing or 2)
Him: "They're changing the website, why are they doing that?"
Me: "Because it's their website and they can?"
Him: "WHY DIDN'T THEY LET US KNOW"
Me: "They don't have to, they don't work for you." ( sanity--; )
Or (during the same period; the pages have a menu on the left; one of the submenus has a counter that resets every time the session ends; during that maintenance time they must've "disabled" the function because the number kept growing even after the session ended):
Him: "WHY IS THE NUMBER GROWING?"
Me: "They're working on the code, relax, it's nothing."
Him: "But why." ( sanity--; )
The only quesion he pretty much hasn't asked me yet is why "Is the website's colour this one and not that one?".2 -
I just completed this heartfelt and sincere little cry for help on another ste but it wasn't verified because I'm not special enough to format it like a PAD, whatever that means. I cannot seem to simply burn music files anymore. I'm using a Samsung laptop Device name DESKTOP-AII2T2S
Processor Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-2675QM CPU @ 2.20GHz 2.20 GHz
Installed RAM 8.00 GB
Device ID D766A89B-5671-4D9F-B6F9-2D884E9EA309
Product ID 00326-10000-00000-AA880
System type 64-bit operating system, x64-based processor
Pen and touch No pen or touch input is available for this display
Edition Windows 10 Home
Version 20H2
Installed on 09/08/2020
OS build 19042.928
Experience Windows Feature Experience Pack 120.2212.551.0
The music is a combination of commercially relased material as well as bootleg recorded material.
I am not looking for a "This is Why We Can No Longer Burn Our Music Files" Intro. All you need to tell me is the corporations that eat the world are protecting their copywrighted music and I must be up earlier and eat bettter breakkie than those individuals. That I can handle. Although I'm not a dev, I'm sure you can understand the feelling after you have worked for hours on attempting something, only to discover your effort has been in vain (much like my former relationships). Again, if you can give me any direction aside from hanging it up and attempting to find happeniness elsewhere, sock it to me. I deserve it. Thanks.
11 years ago when I used a Macbook putting together a playlist, inserting a blank CDR, and burning the file onto the CDR was very easy. I\'m am now faced with hurdles I sometimes scale, only to fall on my face.
I\'m not stupid, or uneducatated about flac, blah blah. I learnt it all myself. I\'m now using a windows operating system. Afew weeks ago I was able to burn what ever I pleased and it was OK.
Then one day, it just wouldn\'t do it. I was following no altered procedures. Since then it\'s been misery. I remember that ocenaudio once burned music files for me.
I don\'t know how to go about retrieving an instruction manual that will take me step by step as to how to do this.
You help would be appreciated.
Cheers,
Jonno
I've been lurking here since 2017 when my Macbook died. I've always enjoy the level of sanity and have attempted to add my jaded, distant and nihilistic spin on a few threads. It won't destroy me if I can't burn files anymore, I'll just go back on heavy tranques and change my name to Ben Zo. Dia Za P.een3 -
I write a hello world and then start importing libs and packages on top. Then I adapt the hello world to test those libs and packages. The entire thing is one big sanity check. The logic is done in increments as well.
Is this bad? -
When you look at a piece of code for so long to find the error that the code starts to make no sense and you question your own sanity.1
-
Today i wake up and i expect some bit of sanity in my job. Our CTO Respects no processes and stuff. I check PR's that are requested for review.
PR i 391 files long and it's not node_modules commited :|1 -
Too many “helpful” people, as well as counselors, said the wrong things to me early on. These people https://loveawake.com/free-online-d... really do not understand the harm they heap upon the injured. I am convinced that our second marriage counselor was a cheater himself. He talked A LOT about himself, bragged about his education (narcissist), mentioned his stepkids often, and drove something that screamed midlife crisis (same as my cheating husband).
<p><img src="https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/..." width="880"></p>
Yeah, pretty sure he was a cheater living in a second marriage. Only saw that counselor twice, but I got the feeling his main purpose was to defend the guilty (when he wasn’t talking about himself). Kept saying we needed to make sure our children did not look at the cheating husband in a bad light. Huh? Had he not listened to anything we said? I had already told him of how I suffered from the Gaslighting (even though I didn’t know that term at the time).
My husband had convinced me, our children, extended family, and his coworkers that I was insane. I had been spinning in a state of confusion for the last six months of the affair, knowing he had to be cheating, but being made to question my sanity. Our two adult sons came to me repeatedly during the affair to scold me for my behavior during our 24 year marriage. I would just cry and didn’t know what to say to them. He never gaslighted our younger daughter directly, but he did lure her away from me, with movie dates, trips to concerts and theme parks. If I pressed to go, he would tell me things like, you don’t enjoy those things, or we can’t afford a third ticket, but you can take her instead of me if you like. Of course, I always backed down. He knew I would. Wow, he makes well into six figures, and I bought that?! Maybe I WAS crazy. It was as though he was playing single dad while still living with and sleeping with his wife. My daughter and I had always been close before this. And he would conduct horrible screaming fights right in front of her. I would stand there confused, because it felt like the heat level did not match the situation.
I had known this man most of my life, and I did not recognize him. To this day, I am angry with myself for withdrawing and not taking action sooner. I know that my relationship with my children will never, ever be the same. This selfish man destroyed the innocents, destroyed what had been a close-knit family. So yeah, that is what our cheating-man counselor should have been talking about. In our situation, the betrayed spouse needed reputation repair, not the cheater. The kids needed to see that I did not cause their father to stray. And I needed serious mental health counseling. I am still furious at that counselor. Waste of money. He owes us a $200 refund!1 -
So, I just (few hours ago)made a new variable that's either brilliant or innately flawed... not sure yet. It's an oddly unique var...
__bs__
So far I only made it in python and windows env (i script like the methodology of css).
I bet you're wondering how I've defined __bs__ and the practicality of it.
__bs__ is derived from a calculated level of bullshit that annoys me to tolerate, maintain, etc. as well as things that tend to throw nonsensical errors, py crap like changing my strings to ints at seemingly random times/events/cosmic alignments/etc or other things that have a history of pulling some bs, for known or unknown reasons.
How/why did this come about now?
Well I was updating some symlinks and scripts(ps1 and bat) cuz my hdd is so close to death I'm wondering if hdd ghosts exist as it's somehow still working (even ostream could tell it should be dead, by the sound alone).
A nonsense bug with powershell allowing itself to start/run custom ps1scripts with the originating command coming from a specific batch script, which worked fine before and nothing directly connected to it has changed.
I got annoyed so took an ironic break from it to work on python crap. Python has an innately high level of bs so i did need to add some extra calculations when defining if a py script or function is actually __bs__ or just py.
The current flavour of py bs was the datetime* module... making all of my scripts using datetime have matching import statements to avoid more bs.
I've kept a log of general bs per project/use case. It's more like a warning list... like when ive spent hours debugging something by it's traceback, meticulous... to eventually find out it had absolutely nothing to do with the exception listed. Also logged aliases i created, things that break or go boom if used in certain ways, packages that ive edited, etc.
The issue with my previous logging is that it's a log... id need to read it before doing anything, no matter how quick/simple it should be, or im bound to get annoyed with... bs.
So far i have it set to alert if __bs__ is above a certain int when i open something to edit. I can also check __bs__ fot what's causing the bs. I plan to turn it into a warning and recording system for how much bs i deal with and have historical data of personal performance vs bs tolerance. There's a few other applications i think ill want to use it for, assume it's not bs itself.
*in case you prefer sanity and haven't dealt with py and datetime enough, here's the jist:
If you were to search any major forum like StackOverflow for datetime use in py, youd find things like datetime.datetime.now() and datetime.now() both used, to get the same returned value. You'll also find tons of posts for help and trying to report 'bugs', way more than average. This is because the datetime package has a name conflict... with itself. It may have been a bug several years ago, but it beeb explicitly defined as intentional since.2 -
i can see a very thin line between me remaining the same good natured person as i am right now, and me turning into completely chaotic no remorse psychopath , in upcoming future.
the universe follows the rules. planets revolve in a pre defined manner, day and night comes as expected. however being a human for last 24 years, i have come to experience 2 different phenomenons : being rule bounded and being random.
randomness is fun. randomness is guilt free, randomness is a wonderful feeling for someone . but at the same time its worse for everyone else. try slapping a random kid in park or eating food at a restaurant amd running away, assuming there will be no consequences against you whatsoever. such a nice evil feeling
at the same time, rules are boring , unrewarding, guilt filled words of hope.
- "do not eat pizzas or you will get fat" :boring + guilt
- "go to gym, you will become appealing and get a good sex " : boring + hope
- "if you perform well, you will get appraisal and you will earn enough to afford your family a home" : hope + guilt
see how these rules are full of hope/guilt/boredom for you while being good+rewarding for others? that's how you are categorised as being civil , as being part of a society of semi evolved apes.
and as if those rules weren't enough , there came this unnecessary concept of faith, religion and spirituality.l, with its own set of rules and hopes.
and it seems like such a great capitalist idea , since the hopes provided via these are not even realistic : keep on doing good stuff, following the rules and you will get a better afterlive/next birth!
i have tried being a good person for my whole life. my parents are religious and i try to be one, I don't drink , smoke, eat other animals, or randomly start slapping kids in the park. i have been a boring personality, i studied , ran in various races od educational life, failed most of them, landed in a decent paying job , and now trying to even gain back a decent body to look respectful and worthy of a future family. feels like i did so much for so many hopes and am still doing it. we all do , no?
but i have seen companies laying off people and leaving them in turmoil, marriages getting ruined, and some person never getting the love, respect and rewards they deserve for all these shitty rules they kept up with
my life book is somewhat even-steven. i did get a few rewards and respect for some of my hard work, but my overall portfolio is negetive : a lot of investment on just the hopes of a better return
let's see if i can keep up with my sanity for next 50-60 years before i am dust again.
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ps : try playing bitlife : life simulator mobile game ( download the cracked version from the web though, original one is full of ads) . it just have a single big button and shows text about how an imaginary child(you) os growing every year on click. so far i tried to play the life of kid like a criminal, a heavily educated person, a politician and a job worker. almost all of them recieved "miserable" and "unsuccessful" as the final result. very fun game to play without being evil1 -
Kids, stay away from Google's Dagger 2 coffee maker example. Do it for your own sanity. Unless you want to study bad examples.
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A hell of a year for me . I’m behind with my deadlines and I’m trying to keep my sanity . I took 6 hours free time to enjoy myself and tomorrow need to go back to work . Yaaaay . Happy new year *fml*.
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The coming week will be super depressing, because I have to start handing over a scala project to another dev who only knows java. This means I have to dumb down everything, because anything other than Java and C# is obviously complex and management only has cheap Java devs available...
At least I don't have to write Java myself (yet), so I will hopefully keep my sanity a little bit longer. -
when you are using javascript frameworks and plugins in mvc and you have ReSharper, for your own safety and sanity exclude *.js
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Worst documentation I've dealt with? The documentation I didn't write. Lesson learned? There's always time to document, for your own sanity, and the sanity of anyone who has to maintain your work.2
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Starting to wonder why I tend to like our QA people so much: they often seem so much saner. Yes, sometimes they quibble as with the complaints about a page that is hidden from the user anyway, but they would usually not creep to deep into the hole creating most unintuitive workflows and abysmal logic.
Disclaimer: We're more like backend devs, but we had to do a UI which was beautifully slaughtered by the CEO messing with it - guess what's happening with the new one - and because of that... thing I already nearly smashed my Mac because stupid entered credentials for updating software would only be applied if you defocused once out of the password entry box. Fucked up stuff like this, which devs meddle with, give up, just shrug it off and dump it on the (l)user.
Or a more recent example: So PM wanted a stupid "Apply to all" buttons on a list that can be filtered. Guess to which items the actions should be applied if you filtered it and you currently only see a small selection in your window! Yes, of course it still applies to all items in the universe. QA guy who's just trying the buttons comes to me: "Hey, you sure this "apply all"-stuff supposed to work like that?"
Third example to end this long QA-praise: So there is this virtual appliance we build and we should support another stupid hypervisor.. and he found the kernel modules I have to activate additionally so we can just convert the existing image without having to create a new build system.3 -
I graduated a boot camp in July and can't find a job to save my life. My skills are dwindling and I have tried to use codewars and got frustrated. I went back to the basics with free code camp. I question my sanity now. I just want to build things but I have forgotten so much. Pity party over. Time to go build something.2
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Be better with React and Co. Learn Typescript to improve my sanity. Learn Rust. Read and study my copy of Computer Science Distilled: Learn the Art of Solving Computational Problems.
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macOS - just nothing makes sense.
You try to go away from the deprecated stuff, use the new shinier API to stop and start services with launchctl (bootstrap/bootout vs. load/unload). And how does this stellar OS thank you for that? By crashing your service. Thanks for nothing.
From developer perspective this whole OS is just such a nightmarish clusterfuck. If you want to set up code signing with some special entitlements and you try to use the provisioning profiles as advertised, it's like pulling the one-armed bandit. It will plunder your coins and sanity. You try to compile it, it fails or the executable will be killed - you enable and disable the automatic codesigning in Xcode, or delete and download you old code signing cert and suddenly it works. It's just random - and you have to perform random walks on the Xcode project settings to make it run. So Apple turned us into Xcode clicking monkeys... -
Quick question for you all: How do you deal with a problem in production that you cannot fix, even over an extended period of time (say 2 months)?
For context I feel like I’m losing my sanity here, we’ve had this problem on our production API since the beginning of March this year. I’ve done so much testing, got in contact with various teams of my company to try to figure out any potential candidate that would explain the bug, but none worked out. No need to say I’ve spent a considerable amount of time searching on the internet for others with the same problem or similar… We’ve even opened a ticket with the cloud host to see if they would have more details about the problem without success. So how do you deal with that ?5 -
evil can be described
war can be explained
murder can be understood
but pure chaos can’t
out there, millimeters away from the edge of the universe, Iies what wiII take your sanity should you attempt to comprehend it.4 -
So TIL chat-gpt can’t COUNT!! Since my eyes suck I asked it to return the last 24 chars of a string just as a quick sanity check and it gives me back a substring of only five. Went back to correct and it returns a substring of 7 😫😫😫😫!!!!
I gave up 🤬. It always fails basic calculations for some fucked reason5 -
I just spent around a fucking week questioning myself, my sanity, my code and a 3rd party api to find out I was submitting bad data to my correct code in a separate part of the product.
Fuck my life and my self inflicted stress and guilt over this. Hopefully edge cases are already covered, I fucking had working code or so i hope until the next bout of debug hell.
Also fuck you spring for not letting me see request body of an outgoing post request. -
I would have wanted to bring up SICP again, with the great big warning about the evil assignment operator and state and all the troubles that ensue (just think: concurrency).
But in a way, nothing has really come up from this or my attempts to dig deeper into "everything is a file/object" (Unix, smalltalk), neither from formal languages or the Curry-Howard correspondence. - Maybe there's just nothing, no firm bottom ground to discover. Like the physicists going for their world formula, but instead of a grand, beautiful symmetry that explains everything, we face a shattered world of (incompatible) theories, that is ever so more complex and chaotic through our theories applied to it. There may not be a Platonic ideal world of ideas, but rather partial constructs explaining some particular perceptions.
Similarly the one perfect programming language to rule them all, the perfect abstraction, pattern is probably just another prepubertal fantasy to be sunk.
So maybe instead of seeking the perfect epiphany, we should go for something quite different: the nagging, brooding uneasiness that something is wrong there, that there's something to be fixed... that even negative feeling would propel us to search further, not to stay in whatever is touted as the real thing.
Such irritations I found with Pieter Hintjens' writings. For example when he actively engaged in conspiracy theories. And I'm still not sure, if he just went off the cliff or he's even right alluding that these theories are an act of sanity, a self-defence against the hidden evil mights. I just don't know. Anything. -
I think I’m gonna attempt to start having more coding sessions. Just clock in a few hours a day to help my sanity, and also because I want to finish my project.4
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Working on a feature which heavies relies on a data pipeline. I noticed it is a couple of lambda functions calling each other ( Fuck you to the guy who made it). The best way to get sanity back is build a proper etl pipeline. Any suggestions for building a etl in python with reliability.
Options already considered
1. Celery tasks - Worked well but no overview of the single task progress across celery tasks
2. Airflow - Gives good overview but the docs make less sense than a 10 yr talking. Mostly because they introduced a new syntax and not everything has migrated fully yet. Also no support for reusing dags2 -
Just these little things that can drive you insane: TCP should guarantee that the order of packages is preserved, but somehow through a splitting of the message I get them files mangled. OK, might be our own fault, but then I just do a simple grep on the log file, but it won't display anything if I escape the f** dot.
Google it. No I didn't do it wrong, try different quotes. Nothing. Why then does it display the thing if I delete the dot?
Beginning to question my sanity. Grep just. has. to. work.
And that very moment the blinds of the window automatically go up, so the blazing sun blinds us, which as management told us, is not a bug but a feature, protection from freezing bla bla - and the control of the blinds gives me static shocks but refuses to shut them down again.. *sigh*
Just these little things. - Don't know, but I am convinced at the right time, a little mispunctuation or a glitch in a UI could drive a programmer mad. -
Dear future me,
Please avenge us. Ruin the lives and reputation of specific individuals of the university professors and assistants that have ruined my life. Damage they had done is fatal and irreversible. Consequences for their actions are mandatory. For our own sanity, I am looking forward to seeking vengeance that will only ruin their careers, and from there let the karma finish them off.
Life is unfair, but why is it unfair to good people? I'll be the batman and balance this unfairness to make the other side of individuals experience it, too.
If i caught a virus and was unable to study for exam and failed because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
If my mother got diagnosed with cancer and i was unable to study for exam and failed because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
If my dad experienced a stroke and i had to be with him to make sure he's fine and unable to study for exam and failed because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
If police knocked on my door and said my whole family just died in a car crash and i am unable to study out of depression and failed the exam because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
You are inhumane because you have a choice to show that you as a human have compassion and understanding in tragic life situations and therefore work something out regarding exam, instead of making that student fail and walking over corposes like a cruel emotionless devil.
But they wont. They wont show it because they're inhumane. They're working for the matrix and not for the people. All of the professors and assistants.
I truly hope, and wish to create a curse, for all professors and assistants in all universities, for some tragic life event to happen to them and their family members with a death outcome, so I can also tell them life is unfair.
In fact, I'll step it up a level by enforcing "life is unfair" policy onto them by anonymously, slowly, ruining their careers from the shadow. Internet is a wild place that can ruin someones life. They have pushed me off the edge of my morality. They have turned me into Joker.
I mentioned earlier that I'll let karma take care of them, but what if I am, their karma? They have created a Joker. They wanted this war. These robots we call "professors and assistants" would rather die for the matrix than show human compassion.
What i plan to do to them might be illegal; but so is illegal to be inhuman fascists. Therefore like a batman, I will fight crime with crime. I cannot let them turn me into a Joker, because the Joker ruins lives of the good people, too. Batman ruins lives of the bad people only.
Their careers will be ruined, their life will be falling apart, they will continue to live but this time in a special kind of pain, the same pain they have caused to me, just so they can maybe understand how does it feel when you're hopeless and being told "lifes unfair".
It is.
Sincerely,
Me from the past, good luck1 -
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When you have a BA who types things to prove that they do work, then you get to be the BA too. Good thing that architecture, test design, code quality, and sanity aren't really a priority.
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Spend like 3 weeks in mem-checking with valgrind and ASAN, because there seemed to be some leaks. So painful and scary. You loose all confidence in your software, the checking tool, your own sanity.
Some spurious result prevailed, could only move it around. Boss could not reproduce the problem on his machine; Ubuntu 18 with GCC 7, mine was Debian 9 with GCC 6, so I tried older Ubuntu with GCC 5. Also no problem.
Fuck it, I'm switching to clang. -
Alright, fellow DevRanters, gather 'round for a tale of woe and frustration. 🙄
I was knee-deep in my code, chasing down a bug that had me stumped for hours. I thought I was on the verge of a breakthrough, but then it happened—the code disappeared! Poof! Vanished into the digital abyss without a trace. 😱
I mean, it's one thing to wrestle with bugs and errors, but it's a whole new level of insanity when your code decides to pull a disappearing act on you. I scoured my directories, I even questioned my own sanity. But nope, my code was just playing hide and seek.
So, here I am, feeling like a detective in a coding noir thriller. 🕵️♂️ The hunt for the vanishing code continues, but I'm not giving up. This bug won't escape me! 💪
Has anyone else had their code pull a vanishing act when you needed it the most? Share your tales of coding mystery and mayhem below! 🕵️♀️👇5 -
Bit of a stupid oopsie I had today that someone might appreciate.
We’re working on a microservice project in Spring Boot, running in a docker swarm. Past few days I get a Spring Cloud config server going in separate stack, create an overlay network, and get CI deployments to use the right profiles etc. It’s looking great, and the first component is working spectacularly.
Now just to do the other 6. Move config files to the Git repo, tweak CI, all the other faffing and hoohas; and deploy. Health checks keep failing, the containers are murdering themselves and resurrecting ad infinitum. They’re doing this so quickly that by the time I get the container ID to exec in and curl health, it’s no longer running. Cue frustration, increased caffeine and nicotine consumption; my sanity is slipping.
No errors in the logs, because from experience the Cloud Config errors ar at debug level. Whhhyyyy?? Some time later (way longer than it should have been) I realize I had never actually included the Spring Cloud Config starter. Boot 101, get your starter!
Since config client is just additional setup in properties.yml, there’s no issue of the dep isn’t there, it just doesn’t try to get the config.
The containers are still unhealthy, I can hear them screaming. But now at least it’s about something else... -
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