Hey everyone! As many of you have already seen, @trogus and I are happy to announce the release of devRant++, also know as the devRant supporter program!

devRant++ is a monthly subscription ($1.99 USD) that gives you some cool extra features while also contributing to covering some of our ever-increasing server costs.

Subscribers get:
- a badge that shows up on all of their rants and comments
- ability to edit rants and comments for up to 30 minutes (instead of the usual 5)
- ability to post unlimited collabs for free (so keep an eye out for new collabs, hopefully!)
- a reserved spot on the devRant++ supporter list (you can only move up higher or stay in the same position through the life of your subscription)
- more benefits coming soon!

Why did devRant++ come to be? Basically, we have the most awesome community members and we kept getting extremely generous requests from members asking how they could help devRant stay afloat. Instead of taking donations and not giving anything directly in return, we wanted to give supporters a little extra something to hopefully make the program kind of special.

We greatly appreciate everyone who has joined the supporter program so far. We also realize not everyone has the money to spend or wants to spend, and that's perfectly fine. We also greatly appreciate everyone here who posts great rants and comments, helps spread the word about devRant, votes on stuff, or is just a valuable member of the community in general. @trogus and I value all contributions and we want to make that clear!

Another reason we decided to go ahead with the program is, as I mentioned towards the beginning, our server/technology costs are increasing and we're kind of at a point where we can't afford all of the upgrades we'd like to make. At the same time while we need more hardware, we're trying to get the app to a place where we're not losing money every month, hopefully to the point where we can break even soon.

Anyway, thank you to everyone again for the amazing support and early interest in devRant++. We would love to hear feedback and stuff you would like to see added to supporter benefits, so just let us know!

Roughly 180 days, 5 months and 29 days, 4,320 hours, 259,200 minutes, I devoted myself to a client project. I missed family outings with my daughter and my wife. People started asking my wife if we had broken up. My daughter became accustomed to daddy not being around and playing with her. Sometimes only sleeping 4 hours, I would figure out solutions to problems in my sleep and force myself to wake and put them into action. My relationship with my wife became very fragile and unstable. I knew I had to change but I just needed a little bit more time to complete this client project.

Finally, the project was ending there was light at the end of the tunnel. I “git add –-all && git status” everything looked good. I then “git commit -m “v1.0 release candidate && git push beanstalk master”

I deployed the app to the staging server where I performed my deployment steps. Everything was good. I signed-up as a new user, I upload a bunch different files types with different sizes, completed my profile and logged out. I emailed the client to arrange a time to speak remotely.

“Hello” says the client “How are you” I replied. “Great, lets begin” urged the client. I recited the apps url out to the client. The client creates a new account and tries to upload a file. The app spews a bunch of error messages on the screen.

The client says

“Merlin – I do not think you really applied yourself to this project. The first test we do and it fails. If you do not have the time to do my project properly please just say so now, so I can find somebody else who can”

I FREAKED THE FUCKOUT on the client!!!!!!! and nearly hung up. My wife was right next to and she was absolutely gobsmacked. I sat back and thought to myself “These fuckers don’t get it”. All that suffering for nothing!

Thanks for reading my rant….

BTW: I did finish the project, the client was amazed on how the app worked and it is has become an indispensable tool for their employees.

*came in this morning to see this conversation in slack from the remote teams*

Dev: Hey guys, I'm trying to push to the develop branch, telling me its locked. Is there a new process?

Lead dev: Yes I locked it because the repo is now dead, the last release that went out is the last for this year and ever for this app. Were merging this app with another, starting from the last release's code. We'll all have to swap over to the new repo soon.

Dev: ... eh ok I didn't put anything in the last release branch as it wasn't urgent. Normally our process is anything in /develop goes out in the new year. I've been merging to /develop for the last few weeks ... is that code now gone?
*14 question mark emoji reactions*

Lead dev: Yes
*27 angry emoji reactions*

Engineering manager: WHAT? when was this decided? When was it communicated?

Lead dev: oh I assumed my product counterpart had been spreading the messages around, have they not?

Several teams: no, nope, first i'm hearing of it.

Lead dev: Ok, i'll ask them what happened. Be aware then that most of the stuff thats going into develop now, most likely won't be allowed in until March. They want to prioritise releasing this new merged app and don't want anything to impact it.

Dev: So wait, i'm working on stuff now. What do I do? Where do I base the branch? Where do I merge?

<no response>

*My team comes into the office*

Dev: eeehhh ... what does this mean for our past 4 weeks of work? and all the stuff needed to go out in January?

Me: not.a.fucking.clue

I’m a senior dev at a small company that does some consulting. This past October, some really heavy personal situation came up and my job suffered for it. I raised the flag and was very open with my boss about it and both him and my team of 3 understood and were pretty cool with me taking on a smaller load of work while I moved on with some stuff in my life. For a week.

    Right after that, I got sent to a client. “One month only, we just want some presence there since it’s such a big client” alright, I guess I can do that. “You’ll be in charge of a team of a few people and help them technically.” Sounds good, I like leading!

    So I get here. Let’s talk technical first: from being in a small but interesting project using Xamarin, I’m now looking at Visual Basic code, using Visual Studio 2010. Windows fucking Forms.

    The project was made by a single dev for this huge company. She did what she could but as the requirements grew this thing became a behemoth of spaghetti code and User Controls. The other two guys working on the project have been here for a few months and they have very basic experience at the job anyways. The woman that worked on the project for 5 years is now leaving because she can’t take it anymore.

    And that’s not the worse of it. It took from October to December for me to get a machine. I literally spent two months reading on my cellphone and just going over my shitty personal situation for 8 hours a day. I complained to everyone I could and nothing really worked.

    Then I got a PC! But wait… no domain user. Queue an extra month in which I could see the Windows 7 (yep) log in screen and nothing else. Then, finally! A domain user! I can log in! Just wait 2 extra weeks for us to give your user access to the subversion rep and you’re good to go!

    While all of this went on, I didn’t get an access card until a week ago. Every day I had to walk to the reception desk, show my ID and request they call my boss so he could grant me access. 5 months of this, both at the start of the day and after lunch. There was one day in particular, between two holidays, in which no one that could grant me access was at the office. I literally stood there until 11am in which I called my company and told them I was going home.

    Now I’ve been actually working for a while, mostly fixing stuff that works like crap and trying to implement functions that should have been finished but aren’t even started. Did I mention this App is in production and being used by the people here? Because it is. Imagine if you will the amount of problems that an application that’s connecting to the production DB can create when it doesn’t even validate if the field should receive numeric values only. Did I mention the DB itself is also a complete mess? Because it is. There’s an “INDEXES” tables in which, I shit you not, the IDs of every other table is stored. There are no Identity fields anywhere, and instead every insert has to go to this INDEXES table, check the last ID of the table we’re working on, then create a new registry in order to give you your new ID. It’s insane.

   

    And, to boot, the new order from above is: We want to split this app in two. You guys will stick with the maintenance of half of it, some other dudes with the other. Still both targeting the same DB and using the same starting point, but each only working on the module that we want them to work in. PostmodernJerk, it’s your job now to prepare the app so that this can work. How? We dunno. Why? Fuck if we care. Kill you? You don’t deserve the swift release of death.

    Also I’m starting to get a bit tired of comments that go  ‘THIS DOESN’T WORK and ‘I DON’T KNOW WHY WE DO THIS BUT IT HELPS and my personal favorite  ‘??????????????????????

Okay, so get this..

1. I made a hacking simulator in Python2.7
2. I am relatively 6-8k lines in, ready to release EA ALPHA-1.0.0
3. I try to do a test build, and am flooded with errors.
4. I do research into the errors, and apparentally I coded my game in a way that makes it imposible to compile, and have to start over
5. Rages, Crys, and downloads this app.

Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:

practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team

It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...

<audience-shouting>
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
</audience-shouting>

Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.

So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:

- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
1) Ass
2) Hole

So lets look at some example of their work:

- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"

- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"

- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"

- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.

- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"

Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them

Thats all the time we have for today,

Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:

- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead

See you all next week,
practiseSafeHex

Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand

This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:

- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.

- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.

- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.

- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?

- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.

- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.

*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.

and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.

- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.

... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.

Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.

And remember to always practiseSafeHex

Act I

Me (Lead Developer), Boss (Head of IT), CEO

> enter stage left CEO

CEO > "Alright Boss, give it to me straight. Are we going to be able to release app x by this date?"

Boss > "Yup we'll have a beta release on that date"

> exit stage right CEO

Me > types long email to Boss outlining exactly why we won't be able to release app x anywhere near that date, beta or otherwise, because:
1. We have a development team of 2
2. I've never developed an iOS app before
3. Developer 2 is still trying to understand git, because
3a. Developer 2 isn't even a developer (but he's doing iOS front-end so w/e)
4. We don't have the required database systems in place
5. Or CRM
6. Or CPQ
7. We'll need to conduct a security audit

Boss > "yeah, but CEO is gonna need to hear that date a few more times before he can fully understand"

Me > *internally screaming BUT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM THAT AT ALL*
"ok cool just glad we're on the same page on that one"

Product sending an email: Can I confirm feature A is all set for its release on April 30th?

Me: ... what? no that feature is going out with Feature B, that was pushed back to June because of the server issue.

Product: No, the release plan document says April 30th for this.

Me: ... theres 6 copies of this doc now. Someone is after deleting my comments saying "releasing with Feature B". Oh look heres a link to another doc that says this. See Feb14th "Will go out with Feature B". This is because they are touching the same code, we can't separate them now without re-writing it.

*Me to myself*: Ha product are going to hate this, their shitty processes have finally caught up with them.

*next day*

Other manager: So heres my plan for the app release x, y, z.

*Me to myself*: ... his plan? this is my app, I mange this. What the hell is this?

*reads email thread*

*Me to myself*: ... oh so product really didn't like my reply, took me off the thread, sent a response to all the other managers asking for alternatives, CC'ing upper management. The same upper management I had a private conversation with yesterday about how shit our product team are.

*cracks knuckles*

I'm going to enjoy writing this reply.

When you get paid for every commit or release to your app repo.

Client comes to me after a year to publish an update to his app.

I accept, start looking for my release key.... Found it.

Fuuuuuuucccck what's the password? I can't remember

Googled what to do if forgot password of keystore: Nope can't do shit other than brute Force. You've to forget your app and publish as a new app. Nice.

I must have written it somewhere... I'm sure. Check my password manager: Nope.

Start brute forcing:
Default pass: android. Nope
Name of app? Nope

After 10 mins of brute forcing:
Why would I not store the password in my password manager? The only reason I can think is the password is too stupid to be stored.

Try "password". App signed successfully.

I'm ashamed of 1 year older me xD

Spent most of the day debugging issues with a new release. Logging tool was saying we were getting HTTP 400’s and 500’s from the backend. Couldn’t figure it out.

Eventually found the backend sometimes sends down successful responses but with statusCode 500 for no reason what so ever. Got so annoyed ... but said the 400’s must be us so can’t blame them for everything.

Turns out backend also sometimes does the opposite. Sends down errors with HTTP 200’s. A junior app Dev was apparently so annoyed that backend wouldn’t fix it, that he wrote code to parse the response, if it contained an error, re-wrote the statusCode to 400 and then passed the response up to the next layer. He never documented it before he left.

Saving the best part for last. Backend says their code is fine, it must be one of the other layers (load balancers, proxies etc) managed by one of the other teams in the company ... we didn’t contact any of these teams, no no no, that would require effort. No we’ve just blamed them privately and that’s that.

#successfulRelease

You know side projects? Well I took on one. An old customer asked to come and take over his latest startups companys tech. Why not, I tought. Idea is sound. Customer base is ripe and ready to pay.

I start digging and the Hardware part is awesome. The guys doing the soldering and imbedded are geniuses. I was impressed AF.

I commit and meet up with CEO. A guy with a vision and sales orientation/contacts. Nice! This shit is gonna sell. Production lines are also set.

Website? WTF is this shit. Owner made it. Gotta give him the credit. Dude doesn't do computers and still managed to online something. He is still better at sales so we agree that he's gonna stick with those and I'll handle the tech.

I bootstrap a new one in my own simplistic style and online it. I like it. The owner likes it. He made me to stick to a tacky logo. I love CSS and bootstrap. You can make shit look good quick.

But I still don't have access to the soul of the product. DBs millions rows of data and source for the app I still behind the guy that has been doing this for over a year.

He has been working on a new version for quite some time. He granted access to the new versions source, but back end and DB is still out of reach. Now for over month has passed and it's still no new version or access to data.

Source has no documentation and made in a flavor of JS frame I'm not familiar with. Weekend later of crazy cramming I get up to speed and it's clear I can't get further without the friggin data.

The V2 is a scramble of bleeding edge of Alpha tech that isn't ready for production and is clearly just a paid training period for the dev. And clearly it isn't going so well because release is a month late. I try to contact, but no reaction. The owner is clueless.

Disheartening. A good idea is going to waste because of some "dev" dropping a ball and stonewalling the backup.

I fucking give him till the end of the next week until I make the hardware team a new api to push the data and refactor the whole thing in proper technologies and cut him off.

Please. If you are a dev and don't have the time to concentrate on the solution don't take it on and kill off the idea. You guys are the key to making things happening and working. Demand your cut but also deserve it by delivering or at least have the balls to tell you are not up for it.

- My client on regular day.

U can manage your tasks by your own. App looks stable and you are doing well.

- Same client when I'm on Vacation

This thing is not working, that thing is not working. This is do or die situation for us. you have to cancel your vacation plans.

- Same client after I come back from vacation in which I wasted precious hours of my vacation time and fixed all the bugs.

I didn't release your changes yet coz I wanted to release it together with you. I was like "THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU RUINED MY VACATION" -_-

Trying to explain my job to friend who don't know computers.

Friend: So what do you do?
Me: Well they call me a "DevOps Engineer", but really I am just a Release or Automation Engineer.
Friend: What is that?
Me: Well I assist developers build and deploy their code as well as write code to automated the whole process and build the virtual servers.
Friend: So you like program?
Me: Kinda...
Friend: Dude can you write an app for me, got some ideas!
Me: (blinks) no.

We called it "Project Hindenburg".

A huge planning and logistics app with hundreds of screens and dozens of interwoven subfunctions, suddenly needed to be able to support multiple time zones. Our project was to retrofit every area that touched on dates or times, to allow the user to specify, and work in, any time zone.

At this point in the story I can tell whether you have had to work with time zones in code. People who haven't are butting in with something that begins, "that should be fairly simple, you just need to..." followed by some irrelevant noise that betrays their ignorance.

People who have worked with time zones are nodding in shared pain, like fellow attendees of a survivors meeting.

You see, programmers tend to think of time zones as arithmetic; in reality, they are confusing, ambiguous, chaotic, and individual. You can't translate everything into a central time zone (eg UTC) because you lose the user's intent. For example, if you schedule a meeting for 3pm and then move it to the next day, you want it at 3pm even if the clocks have changed.

Project Hindenburg ended up using the entire development staff of the company for well over a year. It smashed our release projections to rubble, made an already tangled code base completely unmaintainable, introduced mind-bending edge case bugs that reduced staff across the company to tears (literally), and led to most of the mid-level and senior developers eventually quitting (including me).

I am @fuckfuckityfuck, and that was the story of Project Hindenburg.

I was offered to work for a startup in August last year. It required building an online platform with video calling capabilities.
I told them it would be on learn and implement basis as I didn't know a lot of the web tech. Learnt all of it and kept implementing side by side.
I was promised a share in the company at formation, but wasn't given the same at the time of formation because of some issues in documents.
Yes, I did delay at times on the delivery date of features on the product. It was my first web app, with no prior experience. I did the entire stack myself from handling servers, domains to the entire front end. All of it was done alone by me.
Later, I also did install a proxy server to expand the platform to a forum on a new server.
And yesterday after a month of no communication from their side, I was told they are scraping the old site for a new one. As I had all the credentials of the servers except the domain registration control, they transferred the domain to a new registrar and pointed it to a new server. I have a last meeting with them. I have decided to never work with them and I know they aren't going to provide me my share as promised.
I'm still in the 3rd year of my college here in India. I flunked two subjects last semester, for the first time in my life. And for 8 months of work, this is the end result of it by being scammed. I love fitness, but my love for this is more and so I did leave all fitness activities for the time. All that work day and night got me nothing of what I expected.
Though, they don't have any of my code or credentials to the server or their user base, they got the new website up very fast.
I had no contract with them. Just did work on the basis of trust. A lesson learnt for sure.
Although, I did learn to create websites completely all alone and I can do that for anyone. I'm happy that I have those skills now.
Since, they are still in the start up phase and they don't have a lot of clients, I'm planning to partner with a trusted person and release my code with a different design and branding. The same idea basically. How does that sound to you guys?

I learned that:
. No matter what happens, never ignore your health for anybody or any reason.
. Never trust in business without a solid security.
. Web is fun.
. Self-learning is the best form of learning.
. Take business as business, don't let anyone cheat you.

Mobile app crashed a lot after latest release. Everyone called for a meeting to discuss the issue and find resolutions.

Engineering lead for backend team: well part of our problem is we haven’t had time to test everything fully. Maybe product could give us a list of all the features that can’t go down and we’ll prioritize those for testing?

Product: ... ... ... all of them?

Me: laughing hysterically while on mute

My devGoals for 2018:
- Build a RESTful API with NodeJS just for learning.
- Finish my first product (electronics sideproject).
- Convert more people to use CraftCMS or at least not use Joomla or WP.
- Get a raise.
- Add Continuous Integration to more projects.
- Add more unit testing where appropriate.
- Create and release a mobile app.

To be continued...
*playing to be continued meme sound*

It's enough. I have to quit my job.

December last year I've started working for a company doing finance. Since it was a serious-sounding field, I tought I'd be better off than with my previous employer. Which was kinda the family-agency where you can do pretty much anything you want without any real concequences, nor structures. I liked it, but the professionalism was missing.

Turns out, they do operate more professionally, but the intern mood and commitment is awful. They all pretty much bash on eachother. And the root cause of this and why it will stay like this is simply the Project Lead.

The plan was that I was positioned as glue between Design/UX and Backend to then make the best Frontend for the situation. Since that is somewhat new and has the most potential to get better. Beside, this is what the customer sees everyday.

After just two months, an retrospective and a hell lot of communication with co-workers, I've decided that there is no other way other than to leave.

I had a weekly productivity of 60h+ (work and private, sometimes up to 80h). I had no problems with that, I was happy to work, but since working in this company, my weekly productivity dropped to 25~30h. Not only can I not work for a whole proper work-week, this time still includes private projects. So in hindsight, I efficiently work less than 20h for my actual job.

The Product lead just wants feature on top of feature, our customers don't want to pay concepts, but also won't give us exact specifications on what they want.
Refactoring is forbidden since we get to many issues/bugs on a daily basis so we won't get time.
An re-design is forbidden because that would mean that all Screens have to be re-designed.
The product should be responsive, but none of the components feel finished on Desktop - don't talk about mobile, it doesn't exist.
The Designer next to me has to make 200+ Screens for Desktop and Mobile JUST so we can change the primary colors for an potential new customer, nothing more. Remember that we don't have responsiveness? Guess what, that should be purposely included on the Designs (and it looks awful).
I may hate PHP, but I can still work with it. But not here, this is worse then any ecommerce. I have to fix legacy backend code that has no test coverage. But I haven't touched php for 4 years, letalone wrote sql (I hate it). There should be no reason whatsoever to let me do this kind of work, as FRONTEND ARCHITECT.

After an (short) analysis of the Frontend, I conclude that it is required to be rewritten to 90%. There have been no performance checks for the Client/UI, therefor not only the components behave badly, but the whole system is slow as FUCK! Back in my days I wrote jQuery, but even that shit was faster than the architecuture of this React Multi-instance app. Nothing is shared, most of the AppState correlate to other instances.

The Backend. Oh boy. Not only do we use an shitty outated open-source project with tons of XSS possibillities as base, no we clone that shit and COPY OUR SOURCES ON TOP. But since these people also don't want to write SQL, they tought using Symfony as base on top of the base would be an good idea.
Generally speaking (and done right), this is true. but not then there will be no time and not properly checked. As I said I'm working on Legacy code. And the more I look into it, the more Bugs I find. Nothing too bad, but it's still a bad sign why the webservices are buggy in general. And therefor, the buggyness has to travel into the frontend.

And now the last goodies:
- Composer itself is commited to the repo (the fucking .phar!)
- Deployments never work and every release is done manually
- We commit an "_TRASH" folder
- There is an secret ongoing refactoring in the root of the Project called "_REFACTORING" (right, no branches)
- I cannot test locally, nor have just the Frontend locally connected to the Staging webservices
- I am required to upload my sources I write to an in-house server that get's shared with the other coworkers
- This is the only Linux server here and all of the permissions are fucked up
- We don't have versions, nor builds, we use the current Date as build number, but nothing simple to read, nonono. It's has to be an german Date, with only numbers and has always to end with "00"
- They take security "super serious" but disable the abillity to unlock your device with your fingerprint sensor ON PURPOSE

My brain hurts, maybe I'll post more on this shit fucking cuntfuck company. Sorry to be rude, but this triggers me sooo much!

App nearing completion. Code tested, everything's working fine. Ready for release.

The client just calls me and tells me that they have decided to turn the app into two separate ones. Should not be a problem, you developers must have some tricks for that, according to the client. Of course, the release date remains unchanged.

Clients!, finally understand that there's no secret button for turning an app into two separate ones.

I'm fucking tired of this so called lead developer, lead developer my ass:

- He takes two days to complete a simple task and he dares to ask me why I extended the deadline of this freaking complex feature I need to build.

- He does a half-assed job when completes a task, no validation of data, no well informative message when exceptions are th thrown ...

- He assigns me his tasks although I already have tons and we need to release soon.

- I take care of developing and maintaining 60% of the APIs and I implemented the most complex of features and he dares to always say that my code can be optimized in a vague way, never mentioning what exactly is he talking about, and never telling me beforehand, he always does it during team meetings where another thing is being discussed.

- He presents the app to the whole company and at the end doesn't give credit where it's due, no " thank you for being part of this or helping build this" even if I built most of that shit, instead he says he's disappointed in me ... WTF! What did you fucking do to build this to be disappointed in me? I'm the fucking disappointed one here !!

- He fucking keeps preaching practices that he doesn't follow or he finds workarounds to skip them while the rest of the team follows them.

- He's like "I'm only taking care of this task to help you out?!" .... wtf! I have nothing to do with that fucking task, how are you helping me! You just keep fucking lazing around when we need to be finishing features asap.

Thank God I don't expect anything from you, I get enough credit from my boss who expresses how impressed he's with my job.

Apple flips the bird to devs again...

So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.

“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”

Ok... update Xcode...

“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”

WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”

Backend: Sorry the fix we had isn't going to work. Turns out app is sending an "undelivered" status after you call the API where you claimed we had an issue. This is in fact the cause, please address it.

Me: We do not have an "undelivered" status anywhere in our codebase. We do not do this.

Backend: *CC product* turns out this issue is only affecting 0.1% of users, its very minimal. Lets push ahead with the release.

Product: Ok, lets go live.

Me: ... ... ... we all just gonna ignore that "undelivered" bullshit? ... ok ... very stable release, here we go.

Facebook devs be like,
Today I'm gonna change a variable name and release a new app version.

PM: Ok Android, i've reviewed the latest build, you are good to release. Waiting on iOS's build to test.

Me: ... are we not holding all builds until we hear back from backend about that bug?, as we likely have to change something on our side?

PM: Which bug?

Me: ... the only one we discussed yesterday in the team meeting.

PM: How many customers is it affecting?

Me: that we know of, one ... the CEO of our company

PM: oh that one, yeah were not doing that anymore.

Me: WHAT? i've been waiting all day / night to hear back. Why are we not doing this?

PM: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ... Everything is too messy at the minute anyway, the release plan is changing every day. Need to keep it back in line.

Me: ... the plan has changed exactly once. We had a plan at the start of last week for the last release, we changed it YESTERDAY to include 2 critical bug fixes. The only issue with the plan changing is nobody telling us these aren't bugs anymore

PM: We can discuss tomorrow in the team meeting.

CEO: oh hey guys, yeah we pulled that bug fix. Its not really a bug, more like a missing feature. No way it will get done before xmas. Going to live with the way it works for now and fix it properly next year.

Me: Ok, fair enough, but we really need to be told these decisions.

CEO: sure, sorry, didn't think anyone was blocked by this. What was the blocker?

Me: ..... you asked me yesterday to get this bug fix in the build ... you asked for the final build to be made today so we can go through the app store review. As we all discussed yesterday, today is kind of the last day we can really do this.

CEO: ok, its late, we can discuss this tomorrow in the team meeting.

Me: ..... ..... ..... ..... sure

This fucking idiot at work needs to use the pre release version of the iOS app for a training programme, and I swear I have tried my best to best to help him get the app on his phone.

I use Fabric and I chose because of how easy it is to install on a persons phone, but this is the situation so far. Also he lives a couple cities away so I can't do it myself.

I had to waste time waiting for him to call me, beforehand I sent the email, maybe 5 minutes before his call and told him that he needs to find the email, he says oh okay alright well I'll contact you if I have any problems.

I waited a day and sent a follow-up email on what the subject, from email, and even what the email looks like with screenshots.

No response for 3 weeks, and I bring it up in a meeting that I need to help him again.

So it's a literal fucking repeat of the first step, wait for his call, this time close to the end of my work day and he's 30 minutes late for his own fucking schedule, I thought whatever so I say the exact same thing BUT expecting him to get it out of the way while I'm on the phone...

Waited two days and sent him an email today and since I forgot to mention it, I've told him that this is to REGISTER to get the app. Guess what his reply was.

Sorry I can't get it on my phone!

He can't get what a fucking email to open on his phone and follow instructions a small bipedal animal could figure out?

It's literally follow the fucking icon moving they have gifs showing exactly what to click...

So tomorrow I have to somehow not blow up and get this app on his phone, honestly I understand some people can have issues with technical things but I got a guy at work that has trouble with his computer all the time to follow my same instructions without me needing to say more than I'll send an email all you need to do is follow the instructions, he actually enjoyed going through it.

...I swear this guy is just not even bothering, and I made sure I sent it to the right email, also second call he told me he found the email..

When you finally finish your app and have it ready for first release, but when you package it, the app instantly closes when you open it.

Fuck Apple and its review system

So, this started in december. We wanted to publsih an app, after years of development.

Submit to review, and passes on the first try. Well, what do you know. We are on manual release option, so we can release together with the android counterpart. Well yes, but someone notices that the app name is not what was aggreed (App Name instead of AppName). Okay, should be easy, submit the same app, just the name changed. If it passed once, it will pass again, right? HAH

Rejected, because the description, why we use the device’s camera is too general. Well... its the purpose of the app... but whatever, i read the guidelines, okay, its actually documented with exapmles. BUT THEN WHY THE FUCK COULDNT YOU SAY THAT ON THE FIRST UPLOAD?

Whatever, fix it, new version, accepted, ready to release just in time.

It doesindeed roll out,but of course, we notice that the app has a giant issue, but only on specific phones. None of our test phones had this problem, but those who have, essentially cannot use our program. Nasty as it is, the fix is really easy, done in 5 minutes. Upload it asap, literally nothing changed from user point of view, except now it doesnt crash on said devices. Meanwhile 1 star reviews are arriving from these users - of course with all the right. Apple should allow this patch quickly, right? HAH

THE REAL BULLSHIT COMES NOW

With only config files changed, the same binary uploaded we get rejected? What now? Lets read it. “Metadata rejected, no need to upload new binary”.... oh fine only the store page is wrong? Easy. Read the message, what went wrong. “Referencing third party content is nit permitted on the app store” meaning that no android test device should be shown. Fine, your rules. They even send a picutre of the offending element. BUT ITS NOT EVEN ON THE STORE. THATS A SCREENSHOT OF THE APP. HOW IS THAT METADATA? I ask about this, and i get a reply, from either a bot, or a person who cant speak or read english, and only pasted a sample answer, repeating the previous message. WTF. Fine, i guess you are dumb, but since they stop replying to our queries, do the only sensible thing, re-record the offending tutorial video that actually contained an android device. This is about 2 weeks, after the first try to apply a simple patch to a broken app. And still, how did it pass the review 2 times?

Whatever, reupload again, play the waiting game for a week, when the promised average wait time is 2 days, they hit us with a message, that they want to know what patent we use in our apps core functionality. WTF WHY NOW? It didnt bother you for a month, let it release ti production and now you delay a simple patch for this? We send them what they know. Aaaaand they reply: sorry we need more time to review your app. FUUUUUUCKKK YOUUU. You are reviewing a PATCH with close to zero functional change!!! Then, this shit goes on, every week we ask about an ETA, always asking for patience... at the end it took another 3 weeks... so december 15 to jan 21 in total...

FOR. A. SINGLE. FUCKING. PATCH

Bottom line is what is infurating, apple cares that there is an android device in the tutorial video, but they dont care that a significant percentage of our users simply cannot use the app.

Im done

After 8 iTunes Testflight Beta approvals for my app ... better still, I got hte app approved for the App Store a week ago to "de-risk" our "final submission" ... That's 9 approvals for my app, and we're ready to submit version 1.0.0 and actually release on the store. We take last week approved app and "developer reject" if to make room for the final tweaked version (minor tweaks, minor bugfixes). Submit version 1.0.0., plenty of time before it needs to be released.

But, what's this? "Meta Data rejected" for v1.0.0 because some piece of shit at Apple wants to watch a video of the app working with our hardware. What about the previous 9 approvals with the demo account connected to the demo hardware?

So we send a video within 1 hour of their unexpected request about the very foundational fucntionality of our app. That was 24 hours ago and these fucking assholes haven't even responded, no sign of when they will trouble themselves to respond. Pure limbo.

All the work up to this point was to "de-risk" their infamously shitty review process and all of it was in vain because it's somehow brand new information that our app works with our hardware.

Holy fuck, what a bunch of power-tripping assholes. All I can do is pace around and review the previous 2 months in my head to figure out what I could have done better. But I could not possibly have expected that after all the Testflight Beta approvals and after the recent App Store approval, that they would suddenly doubt that our software actually works with our hardware!!!!!

FUCK YOU APPLE!!!! FUCK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!!!

This is a friend's story:

So I've been trying to upload a free sticker pack for iMessage to AppStore for a while now. Why "trying"? because it keeps getting declined for the silliest reasons. It's nothing complex: just a bunch of our company's stickers about dev life. "Stickers for devs, from devs."

The first time Apple has declined the app because of the overall design, the second time it was because we used iMessage in the title. But this time it makes no sense at all. This is the message I got from Apple:

"Your app contains references to test, trial, demo, beta, pre-release or other incomplete content.
Specifically, some of your app’s stickers have “beta” references."

Huh? Check out the pic - one of our dev-related stickers says "still in beta". I guess Apple took that way too literally. Good thing they didn't tell me my app was too buggy because it has a sticker of a bug which says "it's not a bug, it's a feature"...

On second thought, what if AppStore is a modern-day Genie? Maybe I should add a sticker that says "Apple owns me $20 million in stock"? Or just one that says "Apple approves this sticker pack".

#Thisneverhappens_on_googleplay #appstore_make_a_wish #rookout

Me: "I've just released a new app"

Everyone I know: "I've got a great idea for an app.... I'll give you 10%"

Every. Single. Time.

- Release the stable v2 of devRant unofficial UWP
- Work on a new app
- Improve everyday and never give up

Joined a new company / team to work on an iOS app that has 2 different backend environments "Dev" and "Prod". Also being referred to in iOS speak as "Debug" and "Release".

Been trying to get accounts on these backends (no sign up in app, its controlled via another process). Eventually get access to "Dev" for one of the regions, so I load up "Debug" and its not working.

This is odd, so I open the Android app and load "Dev" and it works? I then Notice Android has "Dev", "QA", "Staging" and "Prod" for every region where as iOS only has 2 of these.

So I go back to iOS and find the file for the settings and it has iOS Debug assigned a variable for the backend Dev ... which is actually pointing to QA. Because they use QA to Debug and not Dev.

... confused? join the club

After a few years of dreaming about becoming an Android Developer, I am almost ready to release my fully native Android app in Google Play. Wish me luck 😊

"It is risky to release an app that depends on APIs that you don't control."

Yeah, dude, we also live in the real world.

Better to say: "Your app should handle cases where the third party API is partially or even totally down."

God, some people, they build a wall of rules around themselves and wonder why their skills don't improve.

The worst boss and human being so far, still wondering how he keeps the company afloat. This was my first longterm developer job almost a decade ago and I was a student at that time. The application was an outlook plug in for a document management system.

Scene 1:
Boss: The processing is too slow. Make it faster.
Me: After analysis and profiling I can prove that the core (developed in VB6 by a physicist and autoconverted to VB.NET) is the bottleneck.
Boss: I don't care. Make it faster and don't touch the core.

Scene 2:
Boss: I want the app to behave in that way.
Me: This is not what we specified previously. Look here. Nonetheless, I would have to rewrite half of the plugin. Mind that it is an outlook plug in and we are restricted by outlook. If you want that, it would take XX days and we do not have enough time until release.
Boss: I don't care. Do it. And the deadline stays as it is.
Boss 2 weeks later: I don't like it.

Scene 3:
Me: To release in time I need more resources. I need at least one tester and another developer would be a huge plus. Also, I need a second PC for testing.
Boss: No.
2 weeks later:
Boss: why does it not work properly in outlook 2010? Didn't you test it?
Me: I could not. I have only outlook 2007. I asked for more resources and did not get them.
Boss: it's your fault. Bad work.

Scene 4:
*Me having failed multiple exams, stress at work, started to drink*
Boss: Don't you like working here?
Me: ...

Finale:
*Me getting written sick with severe depression*
Boss: fires me.
Me: Loses flat. Quits uni. Unemployed for 6 Months, one rejection after another (boss was phoned, that's sure). Moving back to parents. Sues boss. Gets money.

I still hate him and wish him the most painful experiences in life. Such people belong behind bars. But the justice isn't always served. One has to move forward and improve himself.

Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'

Should be:
var moment = require('moment')

What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment

Fucking hybrid shit apps...

Worst dev disaster

I was responsible for allowing users to purchase a six month premium plan in our app for free.

Only way we got to know about this was that a customer himself emailed us saying we are allowing users to get premium access for free.
Thankfully he emailed us within a day of the release and we didn't incur massive losses.

My friend is so fed up with his $400-per-month-internet-explorer-based POS, so I wrote him an UWP native app, only $40/month on AWS.

I'm thinking of continuing adding features until it mature enough and release it for free, but charge for cloud usage (if they use the cloud).

Anyone has experience in this? Im gathering info about the "must-have" features for small businesses.

Two years ago, I developed an security app for Android as a school project. I didn't like teamwork at school (you know, you do all the work and everyone else is getting the same grade you receive, specially if you are the nerd of the class), actually I hated it, so I made it alone.

Its name was "Alex" and was a simple "panic button". You can configure two emergency emails and phone numbers (contacts only, not police) and, if you're in danger, you just have to press the button and the app is gonna send two messages/emails to your contacts: the first one, to tell where are you (GPS, only the name of the place) and that you're in problems. The second one with an audio/photo file of the situation.

Sounds like a great app, and I tested it few times. The reason I didn't continue with this is that I got my first job and I had not time, and that, tree or four months later, the government (of the city) launched a similar app. Less sophisticated, but I think it's still useful: "No estoy sola"(I'm not alone). I haven't tested it cause I don't trust on the authorities, I'd preffer to send my location to a friend through messenger app instead.

I don't know if I should re-work this app (I didn't released it, I just have the beta) or work on something else. I'm afraid that, if I release it, someone could die or get kidnapped because of a bug or something going wrong with the app :c What do you think?

They probably should have made me sign a NDA, but I never did.

I was a wee little front-end devloper for a really small dev shop. The lead devloper, who was also the only back-end developer decided to quit. The company was in the middle of a huge project with Rolls-Royce aerospace. I managed to learn ColdFusion and release the application in only a few months. It was basically a giant warranty management application for jet engines. This is one app I wish I can go back and redo because if I had the expierence then that I do now... I feel like it would be so much better. That application allowed me to advance in my career, and 5 years later, I'm working for one of the largest development companies.

WOOOO!!!!! I BUILT MY FIRST FULLY FUNCTIONAL REACT NATIVE APP! Including the release apk that needs to be signed. Took an entire day and more like an advanced HelloWorld.

But the core functionality works... Though not pretty...

I wrote an app (took all morning until now) that tells me which shows and movies Amazon removed from Prime...

I forget why I wanted this... was it just to screw with Amazon because they rejected me....

The app is also going to tell me what movies/shows were added because they can't fucking sort them in chronological order by release date. I don't want movies from pre-1990s that were recently added...

Yes I could search for them manually but it's too fuckin tedious, gotta turn on like 10 filtering options...

And maybe I just want to run mini-DDOS attacks on their servers...

New ticket: Add Feature
description: (will be updated)

Last famous words before the creator went on vacation until app release

Me and my manager throughout 2020

January:
Me: So umm, we can release the new app version
Manager: No we promised client X app first go build that
Me: umm, ok.

February:
Me: so the app is done, but client hasn't setup area L so there is no data there
Manager: ok, I'll have them setup area L soon ™️

March:
Manager: area L is too much work to setup, use workaround L thats way better
Me: ok ...

April:
Manager: client is nitpicking on design and layout please make this mess even greater
Me: ok, anything else?
Manager: yeah also start on app for client Z!
Me: and our app update?
Manager: later son! Risk tooo muchos!

May:
Me: the mess for client X is done, and first version for client Z is also ready for test
Manager: ok good work, here is a new set of things to mess up
Me: but... Seriously, wtf?!
Manager: clients want quality
Me: ah ok, not nitpicking, cool

June:
Manager: client X went MIA, but client Z will send you a weekly list of things they don't understand and want to change
Me: ah great, truly worth postponing my February holiday to release nothing

July:
Manager: so, how we doing on all them changes
Me: well, I am a loyal custodian with alot of pleasure in my work!
Manager: ah ok good!
Me: any news from client X??
Manager: who
Me: mkay ... n.v.m

August:
Me: can we release yet?
Manager: change, we can!!!
Me: are you Obama?
Manager: ambitions
Me: fuck you pay me

September:
Me: I am confident we can now release all 3 apps as promised mid september
Manager: great!! Good work

Also manager: you know that immensely complex area within the app? That needs a complete rewrite because we have bad ux there!!!
Me: ok... To which requirements?
Manager: good ux, we must have standards
Me: but the layout of page R id generic as page F so then we need to align there as well
Manager: go! Do!
Me: ok I'll come up with my own requirements then
Manager: we also need documentation
Me: really!!!! How clever of you to fire colleagues T & P and we now have zero workforce for that
Manager: things will get better someday
Me: ah, great! Put it on my calendar

October:
Me: I need a sabbatical biatch
Manager: a what?

I work for a bank and every production release date it's a chaos... Like, for real, devs running to get their stories approved by the testing team and last minute scope changes that, if not made, would make the whole app fail (real shitty management as you can see).

Longstoryshort, a dev didn't finished one of his stories and create 7 major bugs with another... Today that was my breakfast, took me 4 hours and get it all done and approved... We didn't make the release tho, but I scored some major points with this.

Funny thing, tomorrow I'm telling my PM I'll leave the company for a better job, so that will be their breakfast.

Agreed to work on a mobile app project on Android. No contract signed, just was given what the client wanted from this sub-contractor.

No specific details given, had to figure out a lot of the minute details of how they wanted the application to behave. We would deliver a working part of the product before getting a % of the pay. We charged $30 /hr on a mobile app, low as heck.

It was me and another developer, neither of us had any contact with the clients to ask questions, all questions had to go through the sub-contractor. Many arguments and months later we find that what they're asking for only a phone manufacturer can do. Sub-contractor blames us for not doing our "research" when she/he was the only one able to contact the client to get requirements.

Sub-contractor wanted us to refund money. We declined but offered solutions.

Sub-contractor goes to client and manages to get approval of what we were able to do. Finally a light in this dark tunnel spanning 7 months.

On the day of releasing to the client the finished app, we get notification from Google that the app won't be published due to a recent policy change that came into effect in January. WTF.

Go back to sub-contractor, tell the bad news. Once again he/she says it's our fault for not doing the "research". Yeah as if we knew what Google is going to change. Asks for paid money back. We refuse.

We lastly suggested that we remove what Google wants removed on the app and release it that way.

We had billed 300 hours cumulative divided among 3 people (including the sub-contractor who didn't appear to do anything), and just 2 months of development. It's been 7 months and we were only paid for 240 hours, the rest was unpaid, and the sub-contractor still wants to make us give it back. /rant

The app I'm using right now... devRant unofficial UWP.

It started by chance, I wanted since years to release an app for Windows 10, but never something like this.
I found devRant in 2016 and I just wanted to use it on my Lumia 950, so I opened Visual Studio and created a very simple client to get data from the web version.
After a few builds I decided to release it on the Microsoft Store as "devFeed (Beta)" (a bit later renamed to "devRant unofficial UWP").

Today, after almost 2 years, thanks to the huge support from @dfox and all the users, I'm releasing the 55th update. 😁

Thanks!

The app goes racist 🤪

Make a new android app icon, release it. Now I decide I don't like it. Great.

- Learn go
- Learn how to properly use git
- Release my first (useful) app

Project manager, who i've complained in the past is neglecting critical things that he doesn't want to do, decided today to cancel our weekly planning meeting, to have the below conversation with me 1:1. Its very long, but anyone who has the will to get through it ... please tell me it's not just me. I'm so bewildered and angry.

Side note: His solution to the planning meeting not taking place ... to just not have one and asked everyone to figure it out themselves offline, with no guidance on priorities.

Conversation:

PM: I need to talk to you about some of phrasing you use during collaboration. It's coming across slightly offensive, or angry or something like that.

Me: ok, can you give me an example?

PM: The ticket I opened yesterday, where you closed it with a comment something along the lines of "as discussed several times before, this is an issue with library X, can't be fixed until Y ...".

"As discussed several times" comes across aggressive.

Me: Ok, fair enough, I get quite frustrated when we are under a crunch, working long hours, and I have to keep debugging or responding to the same tickets over and over. I mean, like we do need to solve this problem, I don't think its fair that we just keep ignoring this.

PM: See this is the problem, you never told me.

Me: ... told you what?

PM: That this is a known issue and not to test it.

Me: ..... i'm sorry ..... I did, that was the comment, this is the 4th ticket i've closed about it.

PM: Right but when you sent me this app, you never said "don't test this".

Me: But I told you that, the last 3 times that it won't be in until feature X, which you know is next month.

PM: No, you need to tell me on each internal release what not to test.

Me: But we release multiple times per week internally. Do you really need me to write a big list of "still broken, still broken, still broken, still broken"?

PM: Yes, how else will I know?

Me: This is documented, the last QA contractor we had work for us, wrote a lot of this down. Its in other tickets that are still open, or notes on test cases etc. You were tagged in all of these too. Can you not read those? and not test them unless I say I've fixed them?

PM: No, i'm only filling for QA until we hire a full time. Thats QA's job to read those and maintain those documents.

Me: So you want me to document for you every single release, whats already documented in a different place?

PM: ok we'll come back to this. Speaking of hiring QA. You left a comment on the excel spreadsheet questioning my decision, publicly, thats not ok.

Me: When I asked why my top pick was rejected?

PM: Yes. Its great that you are involved in this, but I have to work closely with this person and I said no, is that not enough?

Me: Well you asked me to participate, reviewing resumes's and interviewing people. And I also have to work extremely close with this person.

PM: Are you doubting my ability to interview or filter people?

Me: ..... well a little bit yeah. You asked me to interview your top pick after you interviewed her and thought she was great. She was very under qualified. And the second resume you picked was missing 50% of the requirements we asked for ... given those two didn't go well, I do think its fair to ask why my top pick was rejected? ... even just to know the reason?

PM: Could you not have asked publicly? face to face?

Me: you tagged me on a google sheet, asking me to review a resume, and rather than tag you back on 2 rows below ... you want me to wait 4 days to ask you at our next face to face? (which you just cancelled for this meeting)

PM: That would have been more appropriate

Me: ..... i'm sorry, i don't want to be rude but thats ridiculous and very nit pick-y. You asked my opinion on one row, I asked yours on another. To say theres anything wrong with that is ridiculous

PM: Well we are going to call another team meeting and discuss all this face to face then, because this isn't working. We need to jump to this other call now, lets leave it here.

My client requested me to release the source code to their development team today. They are going to handle the further development from now. Client has paid for the app in full.

That wasn't a good news to me.

Am I the only one that down votes reviews for an app just because the review is from someone who's incompetent?

For example: major new release, so of course there's going to be bugs. Person 1 stars and bitches about how great the old version was.

Like ok you incompetent fuck, that's not at all how this shit works.

!isNotRant(this);

I'm an avid user of Snapchat and have used it for quite a while, but there's always been something that pisses me off.

When an app gets an update, I'm quick to check the changelog and see what's now and what's been fixed. That's my little snippet of information I like to know on a release. And then there's Snapchat.

They put fuck all in their changelogs. By fuck all I don't mean a little bit of information, I mean they don't list anything. They, instead, lost features from their last major release which could've been 10 or so releases back. Even Twitter's "Fixed some bugs" is more informative than their bs.

So I ended up writing a well worded and surprisingly clean message in their feedback section about this, but I'm not expecting much. In short I said "You changelogs are crap, you need to put more into them to show a bit more respect, showing stuff from a few releases ago isn't helpful" and my favourite "if you can't do it in the team that releases, get the primary devs to write the changelogs for you".

I'm saying this here to see if anyone agrees with my opinion. If you're going to release an update, you really need to tell us what's updated.

Thoughts?

I FINALLY GOT CHROME BACK!!! A few weeks ago, my computer, for no reason, said I couldn't use chrome due to Microsoft Family features, despite me not having a Microsoft Family setup. I have been using edge for weeks. Pray for my sanity.

The solution, was to create a new Microsoft account and run chrome as that. But, it does bring up the interesting topic of how much Microsoft sucks. They do this all the time, they look at something that doesn't need meddling with, like my right to use my property and my apllications, and release some garbage they didn't test without thinking of the implications. Did anyone ever as Microsoft for a way to manage your family forcefully? No. Because, if you cared enough, I'm sure you could just download a stupid family app, rather than let Microsoft take hostage of your computers.

One thing really interesting to me was that Firefox nor chrome worked, but edge could launch just fine. A little suspicious, don't ya think, Microsoft?

tl : "hey dotenv, we have a presentation with VP tomorrow, do you want to present any of your achievements in product?"

me: "umm, what achievements ?"

tl : "you know, something that you added in app which made a good impact to various metrics like DAU, MAU, less bad reviews etc"

me: "umm... i coded the tasks and features created by you folks. they got shipped at some point of your liking, and are now being tracked by you for its success failure. So i am not sure what to take credit for"

TL: "no, no.. i mean like any bugs or issues that you fixed outside of your daily jira tasks which you tracked to be a sucess"

me: "well as far as tracking is concerned, then neither i know how to track them nor i did. but yea, i identified a bug where an outdated payload was generating bad request and giving a silent failure instead of success which recently got shipped. maybe its helping users get actual response instead of "we will get back to you in some time" , so this might get considered?

TL : "oh that? that we have already added as one of the team's achievements (=PM+TL's achievement) and have tracked it to be a succes"

me : "what th- okay. then how about that api failure which was identified by AVP as "something is not right" in which the api was intermittently taking a long time to respond. he tagged me and i set up logs to identify which type of users got that issue and the actual cause of that api failure. that was definitely a good fox for app as we ended up with good reviews on playstore for our new release?"

TL : "oh that? how can you take credit for that fix? it was identified by AVP, you just added similar logs that we were using for tracking errors and implemented a fix when it came to you as a sprint task? its a team achievement"

me : "but you guys didn't identified the cause through your logs!? my log was more granular. and even if that's the case, we aren't allowed to pick any task just as is, without getting it added to sprint , right?"

TL : "nah, that was a team win"

*6 months later, during appraisal time"
TL : "Hey dotenv, you haven't displayed any leadership skills and haven't gone put of the box to improve the product. Here's your peanut appraisal 🗑️"

me : 🥲🔫🤯🪦

------------

fuck this stupid neaurocrst structure. i hate being a selfish prick than a team player, but either give credits as well as punishment to the team or gove credits as well as punishment to the single person. but wtf is thos culture of giving reward to team and punishment to individual? fckin communists

------

Our project at work goes live in 3 weeks.

The code base has no automated tests, breaks very often, has never had any level of manual testing

will not be releasing with any form of enforced roles or permissions in our first release now due to no time to enforce, however there is a whole admin api where you can literally change anything in our database including roles.

We also have teams in various countries all working separately on the same solution using microservices with shared nuget packages and they aren't using them properly.

Our pull requests are so big - as much as, 75 file changes - in our fe app that I can't keep up with it and I honestly have no idea if it even works or not due to no automated tests and no time to manually test.

We have no testing team, or qa team of any sort.

Every request into the system has to hit a minimum of 3 different databases via 3 different microservices so 1 request = 4 requests with the load on the servers.

We don't use any file streams so everything is just shoved in the buffer on the server.

Most of the people working on the angular apps cba to learn angular, no one across 2 teams cba to learn git. We use git so they constantly face problems. The guy in charge has 0 experience in angular but makes me do things how he wants architecturally so half the patterns make no sense.

No one looks at the pull requests, they just click approve so they may as well push directly to master.

Unfinished work gets put in for pull request so we don't know if the app is in a release state since aall teams are working independently, but on the same code base.

I sat down and tested the app myself for an hour and found 25 fe only issues, and 5 breaking cross browser issues.

Most of our databases are not normalised. Most of our databases make no sense. 99% of our tables have no indexing since there is no expertise with free time to do it.

No one there understands css properly. Or javascript.

Our. Net core microservices all directly use ef in the controller actions so there is no shared code there.

Our customer facing fe app is not dry because no tests so it was decided it was better this way.

Management has no idea on code state, it seems team lead is lieing to them about things like having any level of tests.

Management hire devs that claim to be experts but then it turns out they have basically no knowledge of what they were hired to do, even don't know what json is or the framework or language they are hired for, but we just leave them to get on with it and again make prs too big to review.

Honestly I have no hope that this will go well now but I am morbidly curious to watch. I've never seen anything like the train wreck that we are about to get experience.

Nothing interesting. Just 11 GB ram using and increases steadily. After restart app the bug was again. Okaaay, I thought. I reboot my PC, but bug was adamant. Well, then I update phpStorm and everything became fine. Ok, JetBrains, good idea to say user about new release version and make update:) Seriously, it works fine. I think every company should adopt this idea:)

//Worst day ever.
Everything just broke today. I'm making an app for a website. Of course the site is down and it may not get back up, rendering my work useless.
I wanted to play a game this morning to relax...aaand servers down.
Later I updated the amd drivers on my laptop and now everything is just so slow that I can't use it so I'll be reinstaling windows tomorrow.
And stupid me I thought I could release the app this week.

When I got the current job I started to work on an Android app that a coworker which left the company was doing.
The app was ready at about 40% and was barely usable, it lacked a lot of features and multithreading so with a huge amount of data it used to crash (Android doesn't allow you to make the app freeze for more than 2-3 seconds, it considers that the app is not responding anymore).
After a week or two the work to do was still huge, but one day one of my coworkers came in and ask me if I was able to release a beta for a client the same day... Unexpected deadline.
I spent 8 hour fixing as many bugs as possible and adding multithreading in the most weak parts.
I did it but it was so stressful and the result wasn't even great. In fact I finished the stable version 7 months later.

There is nothing more fulfilling than working you ass off 2 days, learning a new technology, and getting it to finally work as per the requirements and then ...

getting told that the absolute cunt of a client forgot the release date, announced its release 2 days early and decided to casually ask why there is no app on the released URL (it's a tiny Agonizing Reality [AR] app meant as a gimmick on the invitation cards for an upcoming convention).
My boss told me, the thing I worked on is now being scrapped and will not be released.

Yes, I wish the clients could slowly die in agony by a tree growing out of their appendix. Nature shall reclaim their corpses and feed a happy pig which I would happily have a feast of. 🤗

Few years ago as a junior android dev with couple years of self taught experience of working in startups I submitted a simple android app assignment for a junior android dev role. Assignment had only like 8 requirements so I followed them to the letter. That didn't end well.

App was simple just 3 screens. Login screen with username and password input fields, login button.

Had to call a login endpoint after login button was clicked, redirecting to home screen, calling items endpoint, displaying a list of items and when an item was clicked passing item data and redirect to item details screen.

Needless to say big swinging dick senior was not impressed. UI was not perfect, I forgot to display a loading animation when fetching data, didnt handle back button properly.

I agreed with some points but other comments were clearly just nitpicking: his preferred variable naming conventions, his opinions on architecture that was not up to his standard (official google arch at the time was not up to his standard).

He also was mad that app wasn't prepared for release to googleplay (another out of the ass requirement). Like I would prepare a 3 screen app for prod release that he will forget ever existed after 20min of his review.

Lots more of nitpicking, encapsulation this encapsulation that, omg now hes shocked that there are a few warnings after the project is built.

Regardless my self confidence was destroyed at that point and after few more negative experiences I dropped android dev alltogether for a couple years and switched to game dev.

After game dev ran its course I went back to android dev and found a supportive place where I could grow.

Looking back, they were actually hiring atleast a mid level for a junior position but I was grilled as a senior. The guy literally didnt wrote any single positive thing in that review about my code even tho my senior peers said my project was decent back then, its just that I didnt handle a few edge cases and that's all.

I looked up the guy in linkedin, turns out hes a uni dropout who posts all books that he red about software dev in his education section of his linkedin profile. Found a bunch of other narcissistic stuff on his profile. Guy was a fucking idiot. Even if I worked under him it would have probably sucked.

Learned some important lessons I guess. Always get a second, 3rd and 4th opinion and dont take criticism too seriously. Always check what kind of person is providing feedback.

1 - Spend 6 months building an app with Flutter
2 - Try to add in-app purchase. Must upload an apk to google console and register a product
3 - Must launch the app so the product is activated
4 - Console complains apk must contain 64 bits version
5 - Go to the issues tab on github and find a solution
6 - Implement the solution, recompile and send 2 apk files to Console
7 - Did not work...
8 - Find out maybe the console will allow just on closed alpha and beyond
9 - Put apks on closed alpha and fail because the Console wants a new apks with increased version codes...
10 - Recompile and send apks
11 - Console won't allow launching unless the format is using the new App Bundle
12 - Flutter does not support App Bundle with 32 and 64 bits...
13 - See issue about it saying the possible fix is in beta version, just need to update... What could go wrong?

I just wanted to release a damn app

I hate that shit

Hmm...recently I've seen an increase in the idea of raising security awareness at a user level...but really now , it gets me thinking , why not raise security awareness at a coding level ? Just having one guy do encryption and encoding most certainly isn't enough for an app to be considered secure . In this day an age where most apps are web based and even open source some of them , I think that first of all it should be our duty to protect the customer/consumer rather than make him protect himself . Most of everyone knows how to get user input from the UI but how many out here actually think that the normal dummy user might actually type unintentional malicious code which would break the app or give him access to something he shouldn't be allowed into ? I've seen very few developers/software architects/engineers actually take the blame for insecure code . I've seen people build apps starting on an unacceptable idea security wise and then in the end thinking of patching in filters , encryptions , encodings , tokens and days before release realise that their app is half broken because they didn't start the whole project in a more secure way for the user .

Just my two cents...we as devs should be more aware of coding in a way that makes apps more secure from and for the user rather than saying that we had some epic mythical hackers pull all the user tables that also contained unhashed unencrypted passwords by using magix . It certainly isn't magic , it's just our bad coding that lets outside code interact with our own code .

When you're trying to publish your first Cordova app and the PlayStore release including signatures and stuff takes you 2.5 hours, while the AppStore release takes you 5 days (including getting a huge Mac on your desk, signing up a D.U.N.S. for your company, figuring out the signing/provisioning process and fixing CSS/JS exclusively for iOS).

2 weeks before release of my App.
Have implemented nearly all major features.

Everytime I tell myself ah I can work tomorrow. What am I doing instead? Fucking Gaming lol.

Motivation is a bitch...

So I just found out that another company is launching the same app/website idea as mine...*sigh*
This is not how I was planning on starting my week.

I suppose I need wait and see what they have and improve my app to be better.

Hello devRant, it's good to be back. I hope everyone has a good week.

Not having any testers.

Management assuming we devs can test our enterprise app using only auotmation tests.

Big surprise coming when we release.

Currently working on app that is about 10 years old at work. Here’s how today has gone:

Can’t run application locally because the process management engine doesn’t allow access locally, can’t access in development because process management engine doesn’t work here either, can run app in test but waiting on special server access to get the logs.

Make the request to security to access the server - they decline it telling me that the form I submitted is outdated and to submit a new one. Requires three approvals, am still waiting on them.

Every time I make a change and want to test, I have to commit the changes, wait for them to build. Release the changes, build the release project and then deploy it in bamboo.

I can’t wait for my new job to start.

Dev gets told in the morning there's an emergency fix needed due to a critical issue with the app that's in production and that the fix needs to be in the release that will be cut this evening.
Dev drops everything he/she is working on, works frantically all day to get it in 2 minutes before the deadline.
Release gets cut.
Next day release gets trashed because some exec did not like the size of the font used in some obscure part of the app even though it's been this way for 6 months...

I gotta say I never understood owning a Roomba until my wife got me an off-brand Deebot one for my birthday. I named it “The Kraken”, as in “release the...” because it sees nothing and devours all. My kids can now rest easy because they won’t hear me complain about how the floor is always dirty and how nobody wants to vacuum but me. Now I just fire up the app, hit “Auto”, and The Kraken cleans my house. It even mops! I feel bad for the doggo, though.

Had to quickly code an emergency release for one of our visitor checkin apps that brings up a splash screen telling you to wash your hands after using our app.

Where others fear, I see opportunities 💰

Am I contractually obligated to give a shit after 9pm?

Today, I say no.

Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.

Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .

Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Join's bridge: "hey man, something is wrong with your DB. our app can't connect in any environment, it started after our code release last night"

"Every other app connecting is working as expected, could you rollback your release?"

"nah, that can't be it. we validated it works"

"Then why am i on an outage bridge? call me if it's still broken after you rollback"

6 hours to make my Ionic cordova app build with native google maps plugin without a problem.

Deploy on my cell.

Not compatible with android 4.4.4.

FUCK YOU SONY! RELEASE A FUCKING UPGRADE TO THIS FUCKING PHONE ALREADY. FUCK YOU XPERIA T3

So I am working on a cloud app, Angular on the frontend and NestJS with heavy AWS dependency at the backend. I took my time to learn the stack and I have a couple of years of experience with each piece involved.
Since I am a Level 1 developer, management thought (and I felt same way) it would be nice for me to work with a couple of Level 3 devs.

Well, they hired Level 3 devs:
- a senior Java developer who never touched AWS, any kind of frontend or Typescript
- a senior c++ dev with the same “never touched” as above

And guess what? I have to train them both in Angular, Typescript etc. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of L3, “they will help you to deliver stuff fast”, and adds load on me (I am already a shared resource on 3 teams).
Oh, and yeah, management already promised to release the app by the end of the year and so far I am the only capable and functional developer on the team who has to deliver everything.

I had so much hope for new hiring cycle lol

Selenium++

Woke up at 6am today and couldn't go back to sleep...

So I my Watcher app to support Selenium and provide it to all the extensions (plugins) via the common Interface.

Now I don't need to check the Anime site manually when they release movies or blurays...

And have 1 hr to eat breakfast and get some coffee as I have a release at 9... And now I'm sleepy...

Create my own company and finally release my app. Quit my current job and eventually start doing whatever the fuck I WANT rather than whatever the fuck I HAVE to.

I have only one life. Is it that much to ask to have it for myself, not sold to someone else?

Follow up to previous rant:

Now after I realised that I'm a stupid motherfucker, today was release day. Or so it was planned.
Because turned out my colleagues/supervisors didn't tell me to test the app on Android 6 devices and I was sure that if it ran on the device they gave me (which I assumed was the only device of our clients) it'd be sufficient.
Now it was tested on an android 6 device and crashed constantly.
Wow... I mean... Just wow... Now because I don't have a working android 6 device (a colleague of mine is on vacation and locked our development devices for a different app into a drawer) I have to get the emulator working which took me about 2 hours because that dumb shit face of a laptop first didn't have the android-sdk-root set (took me a good hour to realise) and then the kernel for the avds was missing.
Also: windows updates.
FUUUUUUUUUUUU....

(PS: yeah I should have tested it on various devices and made sure it worked on at least most of them without being told so. Another example for my stupidity.)

EDIT: Now I don't have enough disc space for the kernel I need to install. Absofuckingfantastic

I might be able to release my first application tomorrow. At least the first version.

Nothing special, be amazed if it gets much attention.

In short;

You specify any running processes you wish to forcefully close, in my case, games.

So any time these games start running, it's force closed.

The app also monitors the active window, of it's and IDE, like Visual Studio, it will add credit towards allowing those blocked processes to run.

Currently you get 1 credit for every minute you code.

I plan to refine it some more. And yes I know there's ways around it but, it was fun to make

Releasing an app update without a release note should be illegal.

So the story is true and this is what we have to deal with now..

My friend and I started to build a Web Application for a Roleplay Community. The project was for a client mainly and they don't mind if we try to sell this project to the public. All goes well except the shitty design, which is the one our client asked for. So after 6 months of work we planned to switch our backend to Nodejs, the switch look quite easy in our brains [PHP => NODEJS] because we already use Nodejs for instant functions without reloading the page.

So during the planning we earn a client which is one of the member of the clan, but he pay for another clan which is 6x bigger then the one we're in. So we continue to develop and think about the switch. We learn a news about a new competitor, this one sucks, we tried their App and it's not worth the money they ask. A few days after another competitor enter the market, this one is a big challenge for us. "Sit down tight, yea you reading this"..

The competitor use BUBBLE to create their shit, they earned 10 clients in one week and just punch us with "THE ROCK" hand, they release a lot of feature each week, they're 6 devs on that (if we can call them devs), we're 2 programmers (True Programmers). What we do in 1 week they do it in 5 hours with Bubble, the switching to Nodejs was a badluck, you couldn't add feature because of this switch during 2 weeks, this made us later and second in the race. My friend (at the same time my employee and back-end programmer) move into another appartment which obligate him to work full-time. At this time I'm f****, I'm only a Front-End Programmer vs 6 Wannabe Devs with a mother**** tool of *** (#Bubble).

This is where I am, in this beautiful opportunity to win this market but with this bad luck occuring = the opportunity is low, but our advantage is we don't have made our project public yet so they're the only good option for the communities to get that kind of web app, the others are not included and only a copy of this (Their Product) or just a big junk made with Wix.

At this time I'm working hard to make this opportunity happen, I have my math which I have to finish to have my High School diploma to do, a part-time job to get if I want to stay with an internet connection and finally I have to find a way to still be able to make my dream come true (Working on my Business at full time & Make money from it) and continue to be a Front-End Programmer/CEO of an enterprise.

YikYak will probably be used as a lesson in app development on what not to do. They killed their entire app in a single release. Biggest mistake was never listening to their users.

-release an app (legally)
-stay healthy + avoid sickness
-speak conversational Mandarin
-build passive income (optional)
-get out of toxic work relationship/s (optional)

There's a russian guy that's absolutely cracking my balls. He proposed to translate one of my apps and I said ok. When he sent me the translated version, I published it and everything was ok. Now he sent me another file saying that this one is the real final one. I said him I will change it in the next release, but now he started send me emails and he downvoted the app. FUCK OFF. I AM THE DEVELOPER, I DO WHAT I WANT. The guy is also very rude.

mkdir new-shiny-app
cd new-shiny-app
git init

Decide on the stack, release the package manager on it to scaffold away. Everything still clean and pure.
One of those little joys of our job :)

I haven't said anything yet, but an AltRant notification server exists. Support for it will arrive very very soon on the AltRant app. It will run locally on the end user's personal computer, and it does not require a constant connection to the phone. Both devices need to be connected to the same local network on first connection, but after that you can wander out of your house or disconnect from the local network and still receive notifications.

DISCLAIMER: ALL SENSITIVE USER CREDENTIALS ARE NOT STORED *ANYWHERE* EXCEPT ON THE LOCAL USER'S MACHINE. NO DATA IS SENT TO ME. THE SERVER IS OPEN-SOURCE, HAS NO RELEASE BINARIES AND RUNS ON PYTHON.

Note to @dfox: if you want this to not exist or not be supported inside AltRant, please tell me or send me an email about it.

Don't need Netflix when you have a production deployment right before a long weekend. It has failed since last two weeks due to vulnerabilities present in one of libraries(P.S. FUCK JAVASCRIPT and Post release vulnerability scans!). You have rewritten the whole functionality from scratch twice! Security gates finally open for you, welcoming with arms wide open. So you click Deploy! DAFUQ!! FUCK MY LIFE! Deployment failed! It's only a 3 hour window to deploy! You frantically re-review your code, is it me?? Not again!! It isn't! Well, why is the deployment failing, you work against the clock. Going through configs, code, documentation! WTF is it?? Should I give up and raise a support ticket? Nope! You login to the server, sifting through logs and configs, there's a couple of other tickets with today's deadline. What are you going to do? And you get a hint! You take the hunch, change the config 5 minutes before deadline!
Get merge request approved, wait for the build, hit DEPLOY!! Nail biting 3 minutes! Your eyes fixed on the logs! Building..... Pushing instances..... Starting App..... SUCCESS!!! Finish the remaining tickets! Your long weekend still exists!

Today is the release of one of the projects I’ve been working on. It was a chaotic project, where I’ve had to contact many people just to get pieces of information necessary to complete the project. Anyway, today the manager ask what the URL of the web app is to give it to the client except I already warned him prior that since we don’t have the domain name for the web app it wouldn’t go past the authentication. But guess what happened? Yep that’s right it’s my fault yet again.

I keep warning my manager about potential issues with the projects I’m working on but they fall on deaf ears, and when the actual problem happens it’s all my fault because I didn’t check it earlier, I didn’t make a mail, I shouldn’t use Teams to tell him about it, I should monitor more closely, etc, despite having no time allocated whatsoever.

In short I work 7 hours a day but should have 9 to even get close to what I need to do, and I’m blamed with problems that I warn about

I released an Android lib on JCenter.

So far so good. What I didn't realize was that I had a terrible bug related to a content provider.

Since I was using the ContentProvider to make my CursorLoader work, if someone installed an app with my lib, you couldn't install another one with it because it would conflict the providers.

I had to quickly find a solution and dispatch a new release.

Did anyone ever felt that everyday is a loop? Mine is as follows

Bug Reported -> Try to reproduce -> Check on web -> Check iOS -> Check iOS 13.x -> Update or get hold of other simulator/devices -> Check iOS 13.x2 -> Fix it -> Now it breaks on Android -> Fix it -> Get it QAd -> QA feels their should be some more design changes -> Make him/her understand that what is priority for now -> Now everyone has started testing app and everyone have their opinion (designers are asleep at this point) -> Get all of the team in sync -> Start release -> 99% -> Some yells "wait" -> One more thing -> Sleep with nightmares -> Repeat

PS: We have a responsive web application that is also wrapped in Cordova for iOS and Android.

It's 3am, just submitted an app for review for iOS... go to take one last test drive on the release build for android, and I get stuck in an infinite loop of "system up stopped working". An factory reset and an hour later, I'm saying fuck this, android waits, and fuck whatever Xamarin did to my phone. While I'm at it, fuck Apple for making me have 20+ icons in different sizes, and their shitty walled garden approach to a so called marketplace.

Salesforce lightning web components have such bullshit limitations that they claim is because of security but it's just because it's overengineered garbage.

Want to use web components? Nope.

Want to pass in a value to a function in a click listener expression? Nope.

Want to use scss? Nope, compile it to css yourself.

Want to use the fucking document object? Guess what it's overridden except for very specific third party frameworks.

Who in the fuck thought it was a good idea to override the document object? Your app isn't more secure, literally the entire internet uses the document object and it still becomes available in runtime anyway so what the fuck??

LWC is the biggest garbage I've ever seen, you know a framework's a big red flag when there are developers solely for the framework.

There is a new security release coming out that apparently removes some of these nuances (understatement) so there might be some light at the end of the tunnel.

Cordova or Xamarin?

I need to build a mobile app again, mostly for Android, because an interior Official app's functionality is so interior (written but monkeys) that it has finally pissed me of enough to take action.... And possibly be profitable (ads banner).

Mostly targeting Android but hey why not hit them all or at least also UWP.. I ain't paying for the Apple license... (Or maybe dfox could help release it...)

Anyway, which is better? I kinda want to pick up React and maybe try Typescript? (currently work with MEA(v1)N at work)

But I also use C# WPF, but mostly for my own projects these days when I need a desktop GUI.

I don't really feel like relearning Android SDK, I learned the SDK back when it was for Ice Cream.

I recently started a new job and wanted a way to use devrant on the office. Jsrant and xmlrant both work well but I wanted something on the cmd. There are some options, but what I found relied on npm or python, which I don't have installed on the company pc.

So to browse devrant on any platform and without having to install anything, I made this simple thing using .net core. I used an existing library (GitHub.com/olegrumiancev/devRantNetCore) so that's most of the work.

It's a really stupid app and I made it for my personal use but I'll share it here in case someone else finds it useful.

github.com/CristoferCD/devrant-cli

There are compiled packages for Windows and Linux as a release.

So, I recently added a new feature to our app which allows the user to rotate/crop the image before being uploaded to our server, and we have an option to upload pdfs as well, so when I gave this feature (rotate/crop image) out for testing, the tester in our organization tells me where's the option to rotate the pdf? And I'm like where have you seen someone rotating a pdf? He's like that's the reason why we need to have it. And now the PM wants me to add that in the next release, after explaining them for 30 mins that pdfs don't rotate, they tell me to do a proper research on it and then revert. 🙃

Ran an app release yesterday, adding some new stuff and fixing a few bugs. Was scared this morning because APM didn't have any errors and the app was already in use by half of the userbase.

Turns out it's the most stable release so far! Day's all good again :D

Looking forward to release my app soon

okay, this is fucking ridiculous. my bank released an update of their pushTAN app and I just had to call their service center to learn how to interact with the "new" UI to release an order.

quiz: how do i release an order in the UI shown in the screenshot?
(auftrag freigeben = release order, ablehnen = decline)

So after the team have been digging through to work out why the app is spitting out errors it turns out that turning off developer mode clears the issue up.

This thing has been spitting out errors since its release in 2012 but the engine was handling it internally 🤣

I was kinda proud, when I released a new test version of my android app, since I had a couple of new features and bug fixes. As soon as I told a friend of mine about it he found a error that has never occured before in the method. This only happens in the release build. Why does it happen? BECAUSE SOME DAMM VIEWS WANT TO BE INITIALIZED AFTER DAMM THE APP HAS BEEN PAUSED/MINIMIZED

Ok, bug 2.
Another iOS one. I was handed an app that was built half-assedly by another team in a couple of days for a demo, And I had to maintain it and get it into a release-able state.
Someone had implemented deep linking in the app, so you could open a record by using a url from Safari/email etc. Worked fine. Problem was, the app had a login/pin screen, and if you werent authenticated and you tried to link from a url, it would just bring you to the login screen and once you logged in it would take you to the main menu rather than where you wanted to go.
So I added some logic to the linking code that if the app wasnt authenticated it would save the link in a kind of global variable. Then once you logged in and the app entered the authenticated state, it would check for a saved link and execute it if present, then clear it so that it wouldnt try to open every time you log in.
That was an interesting one to try and solve.

Being the sole contributor to a project is such an experience. After endless nights of bug fixes and brainstorming, I have breleased my app to play store.
Currently it is Alpha phase . I'm getting some positive feedback as well as some great comments from my friends . Really looking forward to release the project in production soon

Be a nice guy and volunteer for a weekend release that's supposed to be fast.

1. Release team person doesn't have permission to deploy our app

2. Dev that raised the change ticket didn't make sure it was fully approved and usable

-My whole morning go bye bye
-ah fuck it, clean up your own shit, I'm out...

Learn and don't do it again next time... Or not

To Android developers:

ALWAYS use annotations for service classes when using minifyEnabled option in build.gradle!! I learn it in the hard way 😐

Nightmare morning. Woke up for the fact that my app in app store is crashing on opening. Yesterday submitted improvements to the app (react-native).

Tested locally on simulator and also on real machine by react-natives --variant Release. Worked ok. But now when I build it with xcode and sent it to app store, it's no longer working at all =/.

Im losing users by every minute. Was able to immediately make a hotfix, but apple has not taken any hurry in reviewing it. Also it's not possible to revert previous version in app store, I just have to submit a new version that will be reviewed. I even called them and they promised to hurry but nothing's happened and it's been like 4-5 hours already.

I got so bad luck because usually in review they test the app, but now they didn't, and this time it didn't work at all. And I thought that testing it by react-natives --variant release mode would be enough, but apparently theres something different when you build and archive it with xcode. I feel my app is doomed now, many of the users might abandon it completely =/.

If I learned something it is that always try to test the last modified version of the app. Even if the modification seems small. Don't trust react-natives --variant release for testing an ios app.

I’m so frustrated and I don’t know whether to blame my 2015 Mac, Audacity, both, or my present inability to be able to afford a new Mac because EVERYTHING/EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE IS BREAKING, NEEDS THERAPY OR BRACES, AND LIFE IS NOTHING BUT EXPENSES!

I had just finished tediously transferring, restoring, and trying to export tracks from some old cassette I had of a jazz concert I played in years ago. Audacity froze because my Mac is now apparently underpowered at 8GB of RAM. But Audacity autosaves and on restart usually can restore you back to where you left off. So I tried to force quit it.

I couldn’t even force quit the stupid app and had to totally restart. I think that ruined whatever autosave I had because it could only restore half of the work I’d done. Another freeze finished off the Audacity project, making it TOTALLY BLANK AND WORTHLESS. I just deleted the whole damned thing and will have to start over. I WAS MINUTES AWAY FROM BEING DONE AFTER HOURS OF WORK!!!!!

Now the Mac wants to update to a supplemental release. With each release this expensive boat anchor gets slower and slower.

I just wanna throw all tech out the window. Every damned thing is planned obsolescence in 2 years and made in China anymore and I HATE giving that totalitarian regime any more of my money. Apple is complicit. ALL computer companies are. They could just bring the jobs back here and walk the walk, but they’re all talk.

You see this? that's Apple fucking up! Uploaded a release and their server could not do its job correctly... Now I need to do another build just to be able to upload the app again

It's been processing for two hours, and there is another build that is processing for a week!

Not only their XCode is shit but also their iTunesConnect is shit, can they just rename the company to Shit, cuz that's what they seem to be best at doing...

Fun idea;

Who else thinks @dfox should release a version of devrant for Easter with Easter egg codes for free/discounted swag hidden all over the app?

other team: accidentally deploys app to staging with incorrect config file
app: gets 401 response from our API due to bad credentials
other team: opens ticket claiming our API is broken and whining that it's holding up their release
me: (⌐■_■)

TGIF & remember..

DO NO FUCKING PUSH TO PRODUCTION TODAY!
DO NOT FUCKING RELEASE A NEW VERSION OF THE CLIENT APP!
FUCK!!
have a nice weekend partners 🤗

Happened to me today : one of the users told me he was tired of using the app until the last release came out. It included a new feature which totally changed his opinion, he really enjoy using it now :) Pay attention to details !

When I talk about release a personal project to GNU/GPL license (when it's finished, some day) people looks at me like "wow, be careful". It makes me think about the mythology around silicon valley and how the idea of writing a killer app or a nice machine and instantly grow rich became a standard, even when it's terribly wrong and false...

delete random, unused column from production database
entire app blows up
re-release last change on code pipeline
everything works beautifully
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I helped release an app to the App Store on a Tuesday night. We now historically refer to it as The Twednesday.

Def not dev oriented.

I am a huge fan of trading card games. It started with Yu Gi Oh, moved on to Magic, even tried, LoTR when it was a thing, tried algo Star Wars the original CCG (loved it), Duel Masters (when it was still in the U.S) Pokemon (of fucking course) and other more uncommon ones like Cardfight Vanguard, tried latino only games (Mitos y leyendas, Myths & Legends, this one is king on my list) and Flesh & Blood. But as a mexican kid, I was always a fan of fucking dragon ball, like most mexican kids.

SO I bought some cards from the newest game expansion. the owner of the TCG/anime store told me that if I was willing to play that I should hang out on tuesdays.
So, learning the rules of the game, and wanting to play with other people, I went there on a tuesday.
The MTG people were there fighting amongst themselves for some reason. the Pokemon people were there also, just opening packs without playing. A rather large table was there with a bunch of people playing a game that I did not recognize. And then there was me. I was chilling on my phone thinking that the DB dudes would show up eventually. nothing, so I just sat there waiting.
Suddenly a dude comes to the large table and starts pairing people for a "tournament" and once they are all sited he notices that 1 is missing, he walks up to me holding a store app and asks me "sorry bro, are you here to play with us by any chance?" to which I say "I do not think so, I came here for DB but I don't know what you guys are playing"
The dude looks down on his app, somehow actually sad and says "man I do play DB, but I don't think I have my cards with me, maybe, let me see" and he goes on to see if he brought something.

This was green flag n 1. the dude wanted to just play something with someone. And was doing something to not LEAVE someone behind. then quick as hell another says "well, why don't we give him a deck and he can play with us! we can teach him!" and I say "well what are you lads playing?" and he says "digimon man you like the anime? a new release came about! it's sick man it would be awesome if you play!"

Second green flag, another member of that community was happy for the idea of increasing the membership and actively did something to increase the population.

So, I hanged out with them. Close knit group, all friends from a long time, but willing to take an unfamiliar (and rather handsome) face with them.

My face when (MFW) the DB dudes where not there, so the digimon group adopted me.

I know have over.....2000 cards, most of them were gifted to me by them after they saw my chops and tough me how to play, by graciously lending me their decks.

This my lads, is what humanity is about. We got close fast, it has been 2 weeks of just chilling with them at the game lounge, just nice people, all of them really. Not a single angry moment or anything, you pull a crazy combo on them and they legit sheeeeeeeesh and applaud them, they don't care about loosing, they just want to have a good time, and this, this is a good crowd to be at.

Strive to make people feel welcomed. Being nice to others, taking a chance on people you deem to be ok, is fine really. It is rather cool. Anyone can be a salty asshole, but it takes a real king to be nice to others just for the sake of having a good time.

These dudes, they are gold. And I finally have something to take my mind away from work and other things that increase my anxiety and stress. I would much rather be there shooting the shit with the lads and playing games than at home, drinking the night away to relieve stress.

Kings

So as expected, due to the rush of the submission on Friday, the app was rejected.
I'm fairly certain they never got past the first screen or two.

We have some things to fix, and some things to tackle properly now, which is quite nice, however the current main issue numero uno is that an Apple developer account can take up to 10 days to be created, and Go Live is next Monday.

I wonder who will get the blame for not taking on the "Investigate the iTunes release process" ticket that was in Jira, assigned to someone for ~4 months.

Boss knows that building a release version of the app we are working on takes like 20 minutes, and they need 3 different apks for separate apis.

customer to boss: so, when will you send the apks?
boss while smiling: yeah, like 10 minutes

4 months ago, my team had the task of redesigning the login page of our main app. Really nice design. Since it was fairly simple, it was given to one of our summer camp guys to do something useful. After he finished, it was stuck on merge request and no one bothered to check it, as it was not important for our PO's, it simply got forgotten...
Last week, since I was bored and remembered about it, I decided to check it and fix the small issues it had, without telling anything to our PO, just did it, asked for code review and added it to our latest release.

Today I overheard 2 guys from analytics team:
"Hey, have you seen our new login page?"
"There is a new WordPress developer so he just does his job well"

Our application is not in WordPress, only our company's website is!
Our application is in Angular!
There is no new WordPress developer! We only have an offer looking for one!

WTF

Plans for 2019 are to release two products.

1. A text-based strategy game engine that will act as the core of two or more progressive web applications, using Node.js/Express, EJS, and SCSS. It will be proprietary, subscription-based, and playable 24/7 online or offline as a web site or mobile app with nightly/weekly/monthly events and items (think KoL, on steroids, with butter on top.)

I am currently undecided whether to go with MongoDB, MySQL or PostgreSQL, so any feedback - without derailing the other choices, and understanding that it needs to be minimal at first with the ability to expand to millions of users - would be appreciated.

2. I'm sculpting collectors figurines of guinea pigs, molding, casting and then selling a limited set that are hand-painted by me with a certificate of authenticity, as well as marketing blank versions of each with a choice of three colors (including white, and either red or black for eyes - a total of five) for people to either paint by themselves, family members, or friends.

This will also have a website that allows you to choose the breed and colors (changing the picture according to your choices), as well as allowing people to use it as a social media outlet - as if their own guinea pigs had profiles instead of humans. It's also planned to support rescues worldwide and educate folks about properly caring for cavies.

F@#!k my year,

After a year long Mobile app project finally shipped where I served **two lead roles (UX design and mobile dev)**; I had my status meeting with my manager to discuss my next phase of my career. To which I was told I would be promoted to Chief or partner level at my workplace, if shipped on time, which we did.

The response I got was unsettling, I've been asked to "step down" from my architect role and join our innovation sales team since it was discovered I also have an MBA. So much so my skip level manager cut off all my dev licenses week of release. 🤣

The overall need was for me to oversee H1B and contractor resources moving forward on new engagements, as I was now "too expensive". I like coding, but it doesn't sit well with me at all...

Jesus christ I need my VP and CIO to get their hands out of Azure and GCP and just let me work.

Yes, governance and security and IAM are big deals. That's why you have infraops people like me to deal with that.

I'm literally working with one hand tied behind my back because just about every button press or CLI command I need to do my damn job as a professional cloud fluffer requires me to go bother an executive and ask permission to pretty please can I deploy a new container, can you go press the shiny button? No not that one, move your mouse up...up..now UP..ok over lef-no..can I have mouse control? Sigh fine, do you see where it says "Approvers", no that says "Release Pipeline"

Look I actually kinda like this job, I do, in as much as when I have something to do I get left the fuck alone to do it. Meetings are minimal, aside from the odd days when one of our app services decides to yeet itself into the river Styx, there's little distractions.

Yeah, developers do dumb shit but that's probably best left to the notion of job security and never talked about again less they go to HR and complain that the ops guy was very stern and direct and made the developer take some accountability for their work product.

AND YET

It's so intergalactically stupid that I have to go ask permission just to do ops tasks by the same people barging down my goddamn door asking why the ops task isn't done yet.

"Because you won't give me permissions in GCP to actually DO anything".

Okay. Rant over. Time for lunch. Good meeting, see you all at the holiday party.

So we develop several apps for Android.
And since the whole company is full of .Net developers we´re using Xamarin.
That piece of software alone is worth more than one rant.

But today someone called and said he updated to the latest version he got from our server.
But now one of the menu points in the settings menu is opening the wrong mask.

I´m like ... what? Who fucked that one up now. Ok...
I look at the code and, I didn´t expect it to be honest, but it looks alright.
The menu point has the correct id. The function "OnOptionsItemSelected" looks for the correct id and opens the correct activity.
Just to be sure I also check the activity.
Everything good.

So I start up an emulator. Deploy the app in debug. Works correctly.
Create a self signed apk and install it on the emulator. Works.
Repeat the same with a tablet and my personal phone. It works.

Then I install the apk from the server and would you look at that.
It opens the wrong mask.

So it seems only if the app is compiled on the release server it shows that strange behaviour.

And for the love of my 1080ti I can´t figure out what causes it...

Thank you Xamarin!

TL;DR Asus is a scumbag company when it comes to software.

I love Asus, they make awesome hardware but man do they blow ass when it comes to software and their customer support. They had perfectly working Link To MyAsus app (on Windows and Android) but no no no, we have to release updates and break this shit. Now I cannot use my phone as a webcam.

Fuck this shit.

FUCK XCODE. FUCK AUTOLAYOUT. I have been working on my app for eight months, perfecting every detail and making the UI absolutely stunning. Today, Apple rejected my app for not supporting iPad. My app was not supposed to support iPad, I would hate for a user to install on an iPad. So, I said whatever and tried to autolayout the app. This didn't work, so I turned off autolayout. Guess what. My entire layout was destroyed and when I tried to click the undo button, nothing happened. This is classic Xcode. I am so fucking pissed, I want to scream. I just lost months of hard work because they can't fucking get their developer tool working, but they can release a phone with no headphone jack.

story of a release
v2.1.0 major changes went live : new features, bug fixes, optimisations. also included releases for 2 associated libraries
release process tasks:
- do code
- update test cases
- test sample app
- test on another sample app
- get code reviewed and approved by senior ( who takes his own sweet time to review and never approves on first try)
- get code reviewed again
- merge to develop after 20 mins( coz CICD pipeline won't finish and allow merging before that)
- merge to master after 20 mins( coz CICD again)
- realise that you forgot to update dates in markdown files as you thought the release will be on 10th sept and release is happennig on 12th sept coz of sweet senior's code fucking/reviewing time
- again raise a branch to develop
- again get it a review approval by sr (who hopefully gives a merge approval in less time now)
- again get it merged to develop after waiting for 20 mins
- again get it merged to master after waiting for 20 mins
- create a clean build aar file
- publish to sonatype staging
- publish to sonatype release
- wait for 30 mins to show while having your brain fucked with tension
- create a release doc with all the changes
- update the documentation on a wyswig based crappy docs website
- send a message to slack channels
- done

===========

why am i telling you this? coz i just found a bug in a code that i shipped in that release which still got in after all the above shitty processes. its a change of a 3 lines of code, but i will need to do all the steps again. even though i am going through the same shitty steps for another library version upgrade that depends on this library 😭😭

AND I AM THE ONE WHO CAUGHT IT. it went unnoticed because both of those shitty samples did not tested this case. now i can keep mum about it and release another buggy build that depends on it and let the chaos do its work, or i can get the blame and ship a rectification asap. i won't get any reward or good impression for the 2nd, and a time bomb like situation will get created if i go with 1st :/

FML :/

The project started as a series of individual prototypes. The client the wanted a beta app for a few selected clients, and someone had the great idea of just merging the prototypes into a single app. The attitude of the devs was always "whatever, this will be rebuilt for public release"

Over one year later, and after many different developers touched the project, the client wants it to go live, there was never a rebuild, and there won't be one until a few months after it goes live, and the project is buggier than it ever was.

A rebuild would have been quicker and safer than fixing the huge backlog of bugs, still the client won't accept a rebuild.

A few people already quit over this project and I think I will be the next one to hand in my resignation.

One week ago I've made a work plane to divide features development day by day, obviously procrastinating
This morning I realized the project release was today
I made an entire mobile app with a plethora of features without bugs in an afternoon.
Never worked so hard in a so limited time without problems.
Loved it.

Hey DevRant, this is my first time working collaboratively on a project with Git and I'd like to know what's the best strategy to adopt.

Is it that every member has their own branch on origin that they push to, then we meet and plan out merges when it's time to release? Or does everyone just push to master, but stash or commit their local changes before they pull?

It's a Greenfield project, with just a bare repository on the central server. It's an MVC app where I've decided to do the View & Controller portions and the other person is doing Models and data services layers.

Gotta love people. Recently I finished a small program to check the timetable because the predecessor app died. Make a release, get the link, send the link to the FB group (I don't use FB much anymore). Some likes, some comments, some shares, some bugs, nothing awful.

IF IT'S NOT THE 20 COMMENTS GOING "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU A WEABOO TRASH?" because of __BOTH__ my GitHub pfp and FB pfp. God fucking dammit why can't you just ignore the pics and click the damn link like normal people do?? NOPE! NOT GONNA DO THAT UNTIL I SHAME THE DEV TO HELL FOR LIKING ANIME GIRLS!!

The designers kept changing the layout for a web app every week and refused to use a version control system so they sent the new files by slack every release

Achievement complete: have an app approved for TestFlight. Next goal: release to App Store.

About to release my first Android app backed with a NoSql database. Anyone here ever had an experience maintaining one?

So, today we had our first production release of our web app. Last week we changed a big part of our UI. This week we changed the design, rewrote the complete API documentation, implemented mobile support. While the release the administration center of our cloud was unreachable. Shortly after the release we made a bug fix and deployed it directly to production.
So today was a very normal prod release 😂

- graduate from college
- live by myself
- release my first android app on the play store
- replace Windows with linux on my dev laptop
- get a job that I love

The icing on this app release cake was piped this morning.

The clients released the app into the wild, without our knowledge, despite some rather large, glaring issues that are present.

As to why they thought it was a good idea, who knows?

Not a productive day. I wanted to restore part of database from test server but downloading data using reat api was getting timeouts.

I made simple app that dumps data and I launched process in screen and started watching Dragon ball
I like those old first series with young Songo looking for his grandpa.

After about 2 hours and partial backup still not finished I started to cut crap data from backup script will finish it tomorrow.

Looks like my ux is still ok and views got almost all approved.
Need to fix some shit on backend but I need those backups to work for more complicated customers.

Luckily frontend developer is back so he will handle visual parts.

Maybe we will release new features on the beginning of February.