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Search - "man-up-my-man"
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I went to Paris for my first interview (that was 1989) for a job of Unix kernel developer. All dressed up. I step out of the elevator and see a young punk with scruffy hair and different colour shoes. I reckon he must be the pizza delivery guy. I ask him "dude, can you please point me to the CEO's office for interview". He said "sure, follow me man, I'll show you". We arrive at a desk, he sat down in the big chair and looks at me with a big smile and says "Ok dude, here we are. I am the CEO. Now let's see how good you are!"
I got the job. And 26 years latet, last week, amazing coincidence: I met him again at a trade show in Paris ... with the same coloured shoes. How cool is that!!!29 -
I was told that my comment on another rant needed to be its own rant. So here it is:
I had a client that runs a tattoo shops website to be updated and more modern. He wanted nothing to do with looking at or approve mock ups or designs so I just did my thing and took care of it. Once I was finished I showed him what I had and said “now I just need some content from you all so I can replace all the placeholder text and images”.
He seemed completely onboard. Took down notes of all the content needed, assigned all of it out to his artists to gather what I needed and provide it to me.
After 6 months, and several emails asking if they ever got that content together I finally get a response:
“LOOK MAN, if you didn’t want to do the site then you shouldn’t have accepted the money. I know you don’t need all these from us to finish up, you’re just stalling! I need the site up now!”
So I’m like “Sure man, I’ll publish it exactly as it stands now.”
An hour later I get a call “who are these people in these pictures? Why do you have our pricing all wrong? Why is everything in French or something (Lorem ipsum)? I just need my money back at this point.”
I explained that he’s not getting his money back because I already did my part, but just because it’s important to me that a client is satisfied (and seemingly what he wants is money) I can waive his hosting fee for the next 3 years.
It’s been a year now. Sites still up in all “French”, wrong pricing, random stock photos. Couple weeks ago he called to apologize for being a dick before.
Still haven’t gotten any content to finish up.
I don’t understand. It’s like these people think if you want to publish a book for instance that you just give the publisher the title you came up with and they’ll fill in the pages with story/info for you.
I’m a web developer, not a content manager.39 -
Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"
Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"
Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"
Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"
Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."
Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."
Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"
Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."
Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"
Boss: "But they will never agree!"
Me: "Maybe that is good thing"
Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"
Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"
Boss: "I think I want a new mom"
Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."14 -
We had a Commodore64. My dad used to be an electrical engineer and had programs on it for calculations, but sometimes I was allowed to play games on it.
When my mother passed away (late 80s, I was 7), I closed up completely. I didn't speak, locked myself into my room, skipped school to read in the library. My dad was a lovely caring man, but he was suffering from a mental disease, so he couldn't really handle the situation either.
A few weeks after the funeral, on my birthday, the C64 was set up in my bedroom, with the "programmers reference guide" on my desk. I stayed up late every night to read it and try the examples, thought about those programs while in school. I memorized the addresses of the sound and sprite buffers, learnt how programs were managed in memory and stored on the casette.
I worked on my own games, got lost in the stories I was writing, mostly scifi/fantasy RPGs. I bought 2764 eproms and soldered custom cartridges so I could store my finished work safely.
When I was 12 my dad disappeared, was found, and hospitalized with lost memory. I slipped through the cracks of child protection, felt responsible to take care of the house and pay the bills. After a year I got picked up and placed in foster care in a strict Christian family who disallowed the use of computers.
I ran away when I was 13, rented a student apartment using my orphanage checks (about €800/m), got a bunch of new and recycled computers on which I installed Debian, and learnt many new programming languages (C/C++, Haskell, JS, PHP, etc). My apartment mates joked about the 12 CRT monitors in my room, but I loved playing around with experimental networking setups. I tried to keep a low profile and attended high school, often faking my dad's signatures.
After a little over a year I was picked up by child protection again. My dad was living on his own again, partly recovered, and in front of a judge he agreed to be provisory legal guardian, despite his condition. I was ruled to be legally an adult at the age of 15, and got to keep living in the student flat (nation-wide foster parent shortage played a role).
OK, so this sounds like a sobstory. It isn't. I fondly remember my mom, my dad is doing pretty well, enjoying his old age together with an nice woman in some communal landhouse place.
I had a bit of a downturn from age 18-22 or so, lots of drugs and partying. Maybe I just needed to do that. I never finished any school (not even high school), but managed to build a relatively good career. My mom was a biochemist and left me a lot of books, and I started out as lab analyst for a pharma company, later went into phytogenetics, then aerospace (QA/NDT), and later back to pure programming again.
Computers helped me through a tough childhood.
They awakened a passion for creative writing, for math, for science as a whole. I'm a bit messed up, a bit of a survivalist, but currently quite happy and content with my life.
I try to keep reminding people around me, especially those who have just become parents, that you might feel like your kids need a perfect childhood, worrying about social development, dragging them to soccer matches and expensive schools...
But the most important part is to just love them, even if (or especially when) life is harsh and imperfect. Show them you love them with small gestures, and give their dreams the chance to flourish using any of the little resources you have available.22 -
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."11
-
One day my mum got a call from a man claiming to be from Microsoft. He said there is something wrong with the computer and tried to make her install TeamViewer to "fix" it, but my mum didn't manage to install it for several hours until he gave up.
Sometimes knowing even less can save your PC.7 -
Little fun story
About 3 years ago, my woman came gome from picking up our son from kindergarten.
She told me that she met a very nice woman - also a mom - whose man is also a dev (He is a FullStackDev, while I mainly do backend in PHP) .
She said that she invited them over for BBQ the next day.
In my mind, I was like "Fuck, now I need to listen to some wanker explaining me how great it is to be doing full stack with all the latest and greatest tools and bells and whistles why I am the fat kid using PHP"...
The BBQ-day arrived, we have met, we have talked, and we have been best friends and brothers-from-another-mother ever since.
Life is good sometimes.5 -
I love listening to music and reading on the train every morning. On my way to the station, I get a text, "DUDE. ***** committed suicide."
He was a good friends of ours from high school. I remember once he got a few of us to go caving on homecoming since none of us had dates. He'd never finish a candy bar; would give half of everything away. He once drove out to California to try to start over; lasted three days and came home, but through a girl he met he was in Hawaii for a year.
He lived a lot of life, and he had a heart of gold.
I didn't get out my ebook on my phone. I didn't even put my headphones in.
I had lost another close friend from University while I was overseas. I remember being in the city art gallery when I got the news. I walked right out to the harbor, fell to my knees and cried. I always thought one day I'd be home and could shoot the shit with my old roommate. Now he was gone, and the only thing I had from him was a text from 10 days before saying, "I haven't been doing too well, but thanks for asking."
I'm back in another software engineering job, on the train to an 8-to-5, shakin it for the money. I couldn't read on the commute. I just looked out that window as the train car descended into the subway, and thought to myself, "What am I even doing anyway?"
I'm in my mid-30s; too young to be losing people like this.
I'm sorry man. I wish we had caught up sooner. I wish you weren't gone, but I know you're at peace.23 -
I feel like a fucking abomination at the moment.
I have been working on an app that is almost like Wireshark. More so for practice than anything else.
I decided that today I would try it out on the network here at my house, so I started the packet sniffer and wanted to see what was going on. I was checking for unencypted text (like telnet and whatnot) and came across this odd address that I hadn't seen before.
I did something that I shouldn't have done, and I fucking clicked and did the equivalent of "follow TCP stream" on wireshark. I fucking went and looked what the text being sent over this fucking network was.
It was my girlfriend, using fuck knows what messenger, but it was unencrypted. I just found out that she is cheating on me. I don't want to go into what the texts exactly say, because it fucking hurts me deep down.
Why didn't she just use whatsapp or something, fuck man. I really don't need this in life at the moment. I am genuinely trying to get my shit in order, I have been coding my ass off at night for extra money to make it, I have been working overtime where I can - fuck I have even tried sucking up to management (I would never do this under normal circumstances) - and to top this off, the motherfucking tax man is giving me hell.
Fuck sakes.
If you want to cheat, fucking do it properly. Because I am in a state of pure sadness and hatred and the moment - and I don't know what the fuck to do.25 -
!rant
I've always wanted to son to enjoy the the same feeling I get when I'm developing. Today my son pulled up a chair next to me and started asking questions about my code, it's safe to say I got those proud dad feels.
Feels good man, feels real good.6 -
Client: "Do you think we could finish specs in week 33, see a demo in week 35, and aim for the product to be finished in week 39?"
I jump on the conference room table, rip the shirt off my sweaty chest, and yell:
"WEEKS OF WHAT? 31 WEEKS SINCE YOU BECAME A CLIENT, 35 WEEKS FROM NOW, 39 WEEKS INTO THE PREGNANCY? BLOODY FUCKING HELL MAN, DO YOU HAVE TO TALK LIKE A RETARD?"
Client, unfazed: "Weeks since the start of the year, sir"
Me, swinging my pants above my head like a lasso:
"WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SNOWFLAKE ARE YOU, YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO COUNT THE WEEKS SINCE THE START OF THE YEAR? WHAT ABOUT JUST USING DAY OF THE MONTH YOU OBNOXIOUS DIMWIT?"
Client: "We always use weeks at our company to plan things"
Me, winding the legs of my pants around the neck of the client:
"I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE USE WEEKNUMBERS, JAKE. I. FUCKING. HATE. IT."
Client, still pretending everything is fine: "If you want I could send you a screenshot of my outlook calendar?"
Me, sitting in underpants on the client's back, sweaty legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull out his gel-infested manager-hair while strangling him with my pants:
"TIME OF DEATH, UNIX TIMESTAMP 1595240810, ISO 8601 DATE 2020-07-20T10:26:50+00:00. ANOTHER PROJECT SUCCESSFULLY WRAPPED UP"
(parts of this story may have been dramatized to reflect my underlying emotions)30 -
Anyone know this bitch hacker 127.0.0.1 story?
WORST HACKERS OF ALL TIME
CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS BECUASE IT IS SO LONG...
TLdr bitch hacker hacks himself by localhost
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..30 -
TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.
>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass
My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃24 -
A "support" guy my boss got in. I had told my boss numerous times, "Get rid of this guy, he's only wasting our time and money. And he's going to end up doing something where we will end up having to put out the fires."
Sure as a pair of nuts on a squirrel, this crazy bastard goes and DELETES a client's database. Yes folks, in fucking production. A live database. The heart of the business' transactions are... *poof*... GONE!!!
No backups for the day! No synchronisation beforehand! No nothing... just GONE!!! Fucking flat-lining!
Well, when I realised what he has done, I had to remove myself from the room before shit got outta hand!
I told the boss man that is the last straw and he needs to go...
The long and short of it...
- The client had luckily only lost about half a days data.
- I'm no longer at the company.
- This dumb fuck still is.18 -
Someone, I have no idea who, commented on my personal project that he wanted to pick up one of the issues.
Then, he followed through and fixed it and sent a PR.
Feels good man.4 -
Wasn't there myself. Came back after weekend or being sick or something and after the daily stand-up one of the guys came to me:
"hey man not to be rude or anything but we're not going to use your code for the project. You're programming in a wrong way."
They explained me where I was going wrong and then it appeared that my study taught me some principles of PHP programming wrong.
I felt like shit, downish and had to fight the tears because I felt quite humiliated.
Looking back at it, they were completely right.12 -
!rant
New job (first CS job).
Day 1: Install Ubuntu
Day 2: Dev said "it was so cute when he asked if he could uninstall windows." Also, first pair programming with engineer of 12 years. First commit (he did all the work, I just tried keeping up."
Day 3: "Here, try this bug " nearly get there. Have to leave early. Team event (Group VR experience, was wicked fun with drinks afterwards. Turns out boss man is a total bad ass. Swam with sharks and giant Wales)
Day 4: Fix bug. Notice odd behaviour. Fix that too. (All on my own). Code review: "This, that but works and is good." Get asked if I want to go to customer to do A, B and C. Tell Boss I only know B. He said "Tell me what you need for A and C."
I'm so God damn happy.8 -
Me: Hey, my laptop (with stickers on it) is in for repair, can't get any work done.
Friend: Oh, that sucks, we going to be delayed launching our app!
... few days later ...
Friend: Hey, did u get it back yet?
Me: They ended up giving me a brand new one cause they couldn't repair it.
Friend: That's awesome man, you got lucky!
Me: F*@$ that, I LOST MY STICKERS!7 -
This actually happened today
Colleague: Hey man I think there's a problem with my computer.
Me: Alright, I'll check it out.
(I go to his desk and find that his screen was turned off)
Colleague: It just suddenly turned off.
Me: (presses a random key on his keyboard)
(Screen lights up)5 -
Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.
New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.
Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.
Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".
😮
Thanks a thousand times to that guy!14 -
Root interviews for a job
So I've been interviewing for fun lately (and for practice), and it's been going mostly well. This one company in particular looks interesting, and they seem to really like me. This morning was interview #4 with them; tomorrow morning is #5.
The previous interviews were pretty enjoyable, especially the last one where I interviewed with one of the senior devs who gave me his "grumpy old man rails quiz." He actually asked some questions I wasn't able to answer! (Mostly dealing with Rails' internals.) Also when showing me the codebase, there were a few things I hadn't seen before, so it's exciting that I'll actually be able to learn something if I sign on. We ended up talking for almost an hour past our allotted time, and we got along famously. He said he was very surprised I did so well on his quiz because most people don't. Everyone else I interviewed with so far has liked me and gave positive reviews, too.
I don't know if I want the job, but that's beyond the scope of this rant anyway. The real reason for this comes next.
My interview today was with the VP of engineering. It was more of a monologue, as he wanted to give me perspective to see if I actually wanted to work there, but it was still very much a monologue. He's an old white guy who seems to loves to drone, and he never seemed very happy when I responded, so I let him drone and drone. Good information though.
But he's very set in his ways in some regards, and two of them were pretty insulting. We never really talked about technicals, and he just assumed that since I wasn't old and graying that I was a junior dev. He said, and I'll quote: "We run a lean but senior team, so we typically only hire senior devs here. But the dev team is all old white men. There's no diversity in talent, age, sex, race, religion, etc, and I'm looking to change that." He made several more allusions to my more junior level, too. He made a lot of assumptions (like how I'm not comfortable with structure because I've been the only dev so often) and got annoyed when I countered them.
I realize he has no idea of my skill level -- even though he should if he was listening to his team -- but to just assume that I'm not talented because I'm young, and bloody hire me just because I'm female? I don't want to be your diversity hire, old man. 🤬
So I'm feeling angry.
I might still take the job because the it offers considerable benefits over where I'm working (despite being quite happy here), but it will absolutely be despite him.rant i don't want to leave my job sexism but i want to leave the desert and the two are married ageism am i really going to tag this ageism? guess so 🙁 diversity hire interview31 -
After months and months of unrealistic deadlines, pulling late night shifts coupled with an insane commute and two very small children at home I had a total burnout. Turned up to work one morning, and stared at the Java code I had been writing for the past couple of days and it might as well have been written in Martian. The more I stared, and the more I tried to keep things together internally the less I was able to make sense of anything - just a random jumble of characters on screen that were as intelligible as the green scrolling lines from The Matrix.
My office manager saw that I was obviously in some distress and took me into a meeting room to have a quick chat - and there I was, a grown man of 35 bawling my eyes out like a two year old. Not the most edifying moment of my life.
However, the company couldn't have been more supportive afterwards; one of my colleagues drove the 100 miles to get me home in my car and took a train back up to the office; my GP signed me off work for six months and treated me for severe depression; the office instituted stricter working policies - not on the developers, but the sales/PM teams that were handing down ridiculous timescales simply so they could get a sale.
For my part, I've learnt to push back and say "NO!" - work is not your life, it's an important part of your life, but my no means everything. Don't feel beholden to a company to meet unrealistic targets that you haven't agreed to. Talk.3 -
Excuse the profuse amount of profanity below.
Fuck this fucking fucked up motherfucker of a fucking director. Money does not make you a fucking decent person, and you come in here and tell me that you pay my fucking measly salary so I must be fucking grateful.
Starts off with a boardroom meeting this morning. Wireless connection on my laptop takes two minutes to connect, I get told that I am wasting company time and that the salary of everyone in the meeting is quite a lot ("with me being the highest"- cuntface director) so stop wasting time. Fuck you man, it's a fucking wireless connection. I am building your motherfucking company applications and doing web design and for what, so I can earn fuckall and be told that I am fucking wasting time. I am presenting your fucking site you wanted, so give me a fucking minute extra to start up the fucking wireless connection.
The fucking mails are taking long to send, great, let's come down and fucking scream at the dev who regrettably said he would try and assist IT (by calling the provider). I literally just got told that I am the following. 1) Fucking stupid 2) He is going to close the dept down because I apparently fuck up (yet again cuntface, your fucking mailserver is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM) 3) He is going to contact an external company to come and check my work. 4) I am fucking useless. 5) I telling him lies (yeah fuckface, I worked as a sys admin, I know what a motherfucking DNS server is and what it does. you don't - so don't fucking tell me that I am lying when I tell you there is a DNS fucking issue, because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about - to top that off motherfucker, I FUCKING BUILT YOUR FUCKING SERVER AND YOUR FUCKING NETWORK. I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS AND WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT).
On top of that, I got pushed out of the way of my own PC, my code got some fucked up gibberish in it (because he was trying to minimise my editor and he typed some in it, and now I have to fucking roll-back. He told me I am wasting company time and he will take my shit away from me if I download something again. It is an open network. I downloaded JAVA and fucking updated Sublime. Jesus man. What the fucking fuck.
"why is your gmail open?!?!" because I was testing your emails from an external network. "DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT" (even though the top mail states "test"). It's the whole fucking "my money determines my dick size" mentality.
That being said, I got told that I need to work overtime, without pay, to resolve IT's issue, even if I have to on the weekend.
That being said,my new Dell that I had just bought (my own) got thrown on the floor and he fucked out of my office. Stupid motherfucker. I fucking earn nothing but cannot leave. I will find another job, and when I do - you can go and fuck yourself and your fucking degrading opinions. I am not fucking stupid, so fuck you.Fuck your company and fuck you. Cunt.33 -
So my friend started a YouTube channel, being the motivational man I am I encouraged him and made him a logo for his channel.
It started here, he called me a bazillion times every single day asking me to make stuff like Channel banners, intros.
He even went so far to call my design bad and that I could do better.
I'm definitely losing my hold on my generosity, it's like this with every single fucktard I help. It's like programmers don't get to have a life, people pitch me stupid ideas at every party.. Having a casual conversation a guy starts talking about an idea.
Oooh... And the worst part they say you can have 60% and just give them 40% 'MINORITY' share for coming up with an idea I could pull up from my arse instantaneously
Next time he asks me something I'm gonna fuck him up or just charge him a bazillion dollars... FUCK FUCK FUCK... REALLY GOT TO BUY THAT STUPID STRESS CUBE15 -
My current one. When I was chosen for my current job as the final candidate, he went for me partly because we've got the same favourite music and that made us click very well.
Now, a year later, it's still going awesome.
We can be serious but most of the time (when we see eachother) it's (savage) jokes, 'rekking' eachother and we keep eachother up to date on new music releases and festivals.
I remember this convo about music:
Boss: Heyy, this is a track I go hard on: Rejecta - Followed 😉
Me: oh yeah that one is awesome! Have you heard his other tracks?
B: HE HAS OTHER TRACKS?! 😍
M: Yaaaaas! He's got 'deserve to die', ''let my tape rock" and 'move my body'
B: OH MY GOD THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME 😍
M: enjoy man 😘
B: thankies 😊
He's not that much older than me and actually listens to advice.
Just an awesome boss in general!5 -
Employer: so why do you want to join this organization?
Engineer: well like i said in the first 4 interviews, I love desks. Sitting behind them. Standing behind them.
Employer: are you a standing or sitting man?
Engineer: i like to sit in the morning and then switch up to stand at lunch.
Employer: a man with a plan. Very good. Do you remember anything from school?
Engineer: not a goddamn thing.
Employer: perfect. You don't need math. Just emails. You like emails?
Engineer: love emails.
Employer: there's gonna be a lot of emails.
Engineer: can't get enough emails.
Employer: perfect. Do you like a clear separation between life and work?
Engineer: oh not at all. I like it to muddy together in a never ending hell.
Employer: alright and you're familiar with work culture?
Engineer: oh those hours i work for free?
Employer: yes.
Engineer: I love that bullshit.
Employer: alright terrific. And are you familiar with the hate hierarchy?
Engineer: yeah the tech's hate the engineers, the engineers hate the tech's and the managers hate everyb-
Employer: everybody. Perfect. Alright I- honestly I think we'd like to make an offer.
Engineer: well, first I gotta leverage that with my current employer for a raise. And if they don't budge, I'll jump shut.
Employer: no loyalty at all?
Engineer: not at all.
Employer: you're hired.5 -
Last day at my first job. Spent 7.3 years here.
Joined as a kid, leaving as a grown up man.
So many mixed feelings, and being an emotional person, if I were in office, I'd have surely cried.
Crazy experience. So many flashbacks all at once.8 -
Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.
Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.
Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*
Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.
Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.
Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.
Me: *more flashbacks*
Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this
Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.
Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.
This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore7 -
A young man was walking along in the forest, when he heard a muffled voice crying for help from behind a log. He leaned over to see a frog sitting in the mud.
The frog looked up at him and said, "I'm actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I'll transform back into my true self, and be yours for eternity."
Silently, the man scooped up the frog and continued on his walk.
A minute or two later, the frog piped up again, "Hey, buddy, maybe you didn't hear me -- I said, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess. What are you waiting for?"
Annoyed, the man stuffed the frog into his coat pocket.
Shocked, the frog yelled from inside the man's pocket, "What the hell? I'm a princess! All you have to do is kiss me!"
Opening his pocket and peering in, the man said, "Listen -- I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is kind of cool."3 -
The man who runs my IT department. The man who is in charge of all things and people that are technical: IT management software development, infrastructure, training, help desk, system administration, etc. A man with a staff of fifty plus. If you were to peel back the flesh on this man's head and crack open his skull you would find dung beetles feasting on the feces that power his thoughts and motor functions. Underneath this foul membrane, if you could push past the maggots; the meal worms; his undying love for hourly binges of Johnny Walker Black on any day of the week with a name that contains a vowel; his fascination with shiny objects and his endless internal monologue wondering when they would hatch rainbow ponies that fly; his desire whenever he enters a paint store to open all the cans of paint and taste the different colors; if you could push past all of the vile crap that exists where Thomas Aquinas once theorized there was a soul, you would find a colony of paramecia at the end of their short lives laughing hysterically at how much smarter they were than the host they lived in.
This man was in charge of hiring the Manager of Software Development. The manager I report to. After seven months of ignoring this chore; after interviewing the sum total of four candidates; after making a point to tell myself and a colleague that there was no one qualified to fill this position within our company (an opinion that is both untrue and, when spoken, runs afoul of internal hiring policies) this man hired a soulless cretin with no experience in software development or with running a software development group. A man who regularly confuses web servers and SQL servers. A man who asked me how my previous manager reviewed my work, was told by me that said previous manager read my code, and then replied in his capacity as the manager of software development that "looking at code is a compete waste of time for a manager." A man so without any humanity or reason for being that he will sit silently, creepily, in conference rooms with the lights off waiting for meetings to begin. Meetings he has scheduled. That have no reason for being in the first place. Just like himself.
Shortly before the man in charge offered the Dev Manager job to the simulacrum of human flesh that is my manager, he met with me and others who had been involved in the interview process. When I informed him that hiring someone with no technical knowledge for a very technical position would be a mistake that he would suffer through for years, he replied in reference to his future hire that "his managerial experience makes up for his lack of technical knowledge."
Best. Prank. Ever. Worst prank ever too. Fuck.6 -
Apple has programmed an avatar maker in iMessage that generates emoji that are supposed to resemble the person. However it does not have any setting for facial structure to represent a person’s sex. I’m pretty sure they did it because “gender is a construct”.
When I was growing up I had some issues with gender dysphoria. I am male genetically. I was mistaken as female my whole childhood because I was “pretty”, my best friends were girls, and I liked cooking, drawing, and dancing. Puberty happened and I started to look like a man. I considered transitioning because I felt female but I decided to let my body do what it wants and do the things I like to do without worrying about if they are gendered or not. I am married and male and I like what I like.
This stupid iMessage avatar. I have tried my hardest to make it look like me. I have long hair and keep my facial hair clean. They don’t have a switch to change some facial physiological traits so I have this Memoji that looks like a woman with a slight hormonal imbalance. It makes me feel conflicted like I felt when I was young. I haven’t thought about it in years and now I feel like I have an uncomfortable secret female avatar that i carry around on my phone and I feel like I’m carrying a secret.
A persons genetics result in differences in facial structures. Biological sex is more than the length of hair and whether a person wears makeup. I hate this “sex is a construct” trend. I’m fine living my life, but then companies push this software onto my phone like propaganda. I want it to look as masculine as I look IRL.19 -
*installs Ubuntu to feel good about my pathetic self by using Linux*
*suddenly realizes need to use Photoshop for UI/UX work*
*tries setting it up using PlayOnLinux but fails everytime for random reasons*
*keeps going back to Windows to work*
Feels bad, man...23 -
8:30 - get into office, boot windows
Windows: "Oh man, here's this update. If you're not doing it now, I will start in 15 minutes. No questions asked!"
9:45 - checking update status
Windows: "Well i'm nearly finished, just give me a sec..."
9:55 - whats's my pc doing
Windows: "Hey mate, I did it! I also restored those neat shortcuts to MS EDGE for you. Please use my browser"
10:00 - Well i can finally start working
Windows: "Yeah... you would. But i had to remove theese few applications, because they are not compatible anymore."
11:00 - Okay, installed all my stuff, did some coding. Time to test it. Lets boot up my VM.
Windows: "Oh so sorry mate. Not gonna show my network devices to Virtualbox anymore. Have fun reconfiguring your connections without them."
Fuck this fucking Windows 10!
The only reason we have Win10 on our machines, is because people in my office panicked the last day of the "free upgrade period" (and i was on holidays)...16 -
So, I was out cruising in my sports car the other day. Porsche, two seater, about 400 hp.
When I stopped at a red light I was next to a man driving his family of four in his Volkswagen. I revved my car to show my power, but he seemed unfazed by my superior engine. When the light became green I floored it, he didn't have a chance of catching up, I just left him behind and laughed. He's so stupid for driving that slow car.
I can't understand why anyone would ever want to drive a Volkswagen when they are just so obviously slow?
👆This is how you sound like when you compare languages only based on how fast they are.10 -
A supervisor in my first job , he also taught me to pick up girls in bars.
Hell he picked up a girl whilst I was throwing up on a train 😂, literally right next to me 😅 talented man
He made me want to be better then him at programming ... Not picking up girls. So now I am and got my own company doing it ... All due to a strange bromance15 -
>>signs up for GitHub student pack
>>Approved almost instantly
>>Looks at what's included
>>See a .me domain from namecheap is free
>>"yo that's lit. Lemme see if they have one I want"
>>Finds domain
>>"Good shit man. I'll finally have a reason to make my own website"
>>Go to checkout
>>Asks for school email address
>>Enters address
>>"it seems your University is not included in this."
>>Fuck me man10 -
When your classmates are such lobotomites, that they manage to fry 11 fucking IC's within a day! And I am the one who has to find and replace all the broken stuff. FFS it says 9V right there on the board NOT 12V! No, your board should not draw 1.7AMPS! This chip is getting kinda hot. What is wrong? ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PROBES IS BRIDGING ONE OF THE PINS!
Why isnt this working correctly? You adjusted the wrong fucking potentiometer!
I know I have far more experience than most of my classmates, but man, atleast try to not break things by just thinking: "I dont know dis. (Its actually written in the docs!) So imma assume it will be fine if I do dis. It wasnt fine!"
Also IF something doesnt work, DO NOT TURN UP THE VOLTAGE ON THE CIRCUIT BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE ERROR. Which in most cases it is not!7 -
How my keyboard evolves:
0. Like any normal man, I started with a cheap standard Qwerty keyboard. As I began learning programming, I wanted something more elegant, so...
1. I've been using layout Dvorak (and then Programmer Dvorak) for like 5 years+ now. Anyone has intention to type on my machine soon gives up or even is blocked by me from the very start. It always takes a couple of minutes to explain to them what's going on here. They think I'm weird. I feel untouchable :)
2. My first mechkey was a 104-key Filco. Time flew by and I wanted my thing to be more compact so I went for a 66% and a TKL.
3. Recently I find out that though my keyboard is not a full-sized, there're yet some keys I've never touched (the bottom right modifiers, scroll lock, etc), so I look for a leaner one: HHKB and its alike but with slight remappings. Now I'm satisfied with the tiny, corners-trimmed keyboard but others look at it and ask how it is even possible to scroll the web page using the thing.
Prob 1: my boss can never type on my keyboard. Sometimes he still grumbles when he cannot correct my fouls right on my machine.
Prob 2: my keyboards at home and at work are not the same and some keymapping cannot applied to one of the two. That's async.21 -
I think I fucked up. I really do. In my presentation , my browser was left on the search page of "How to detach a head " which supposedly I want to search "How to detach a head in git" but I was in a rush forgot to include git in the search. And after the presentation, I day dreaming and subconsciously staring at one of the coworker, he begin to tell me to calm down as he leave the meeting room.
I think my action will get me arrested man.10 -
!warning could be longer.
I must something let go:
Im now 24 ,my life was not easy .
I got bullied all the time in school from 1 to 10 degree. I had a dream since i was 6:"no i dont wanna be a police man, fire fighter, astronaut....i want to be a programmer "..
My father did me to make an apprenticeship with Volkswagen after i finished my "middle school" (10th class);
2 years of mobbing and be sad i leaved that motherfucking "-aship"
After a while my father again wanted to ,i must to an "-aship" .yeah hes been right, but i dont want to do and work like you do!!!.. then again after "fighting" my dad (parents), i was reliant to social help for a year..
(U must know,my dream was always in my mind)
I met a girl in a different federal state in germany and moved up to her.
I worked as a daywage man to get us money.
1 year was over and then i found out the apprenticeship as web and mobile developer (computer scientist) . I applied for this an got a place.
Now my fucking dream comes true in a few months!
Just wanna say that you never should give up your interests or dreams, doesnt matter how old you are!!!!
My journey begins 2017 and yours?:))))5 -
My teachers rant: "Who invented whiteboard markers? *trying to write some code on the board, but the marker went dry* What every happened to black boards and chalk. Chalk never gets dry.... I going to have to look that up" LOL, man I love him. He is so old that its funny and cute at the same time15
-
I developed a simple scholarship management system for my school using Laravel, MySQL, jQuery and Bootstrap, I did it for free since college students from my country have to pay social service to get their degrees. Everyone in the scholarships department seemed to be really happy with my work and they evaluated my social service with 10/10, but yesterday they asked for one last favor: to go talk to the new social service guy who'll be supposed to maintain my project, a mid 30's dude who was really pissed off from the beginning because he wasn't even able to deploy the project, he wasn't even able to clone the project from Github. Ok, so I tried to explain to him the tools I used and how the project was structured, but everything I said seemed to piss him even more, so I stopped and had a chat like:
Me: "Look man, do you know or at least have basic concepts of PHP and MVC frameworks?"
Guy: "Yes, but I'm a project manager, not just –despectively– any programmer, and you didn't write proper documentation, it's impossible to deploy your project with the manual you wrote, I cannot work like this".
*We go to their computer and I clone and setup the project in 3 minutes.
Guy: "Yes, but I still don't know how the project works, I need everything documented. If I have to change something, I don't know where to look.
Me: "Man, that's why asked you about knowing PHP MVC frameworks".
Guy: "I cannot work like this, nothing is documented, I don't even know what's that software you're using *points at Sublime Text*. Or tell me, can you arrive at a place where they expect you to work with something you don't know and they have no documentation?"
*At this point he was really pissed
Me: "Well... Dealing with non-documented software is what I do for a living"
Guy: "I don't know what companies you've worked for, probably not big ones..."
Me: "Well, I actually work for *I mention one of the biggest music apps in the country*"
*Guy ironically laughs
When I gave my feedback to the lady in charge of the department, I told her that this guy was really pissed off at how things were done and that I wasn't so sure of him being capable of maintaining the system. She told me not to worry, that the guy became a well known asshole in the office only after a few days, and that she'll probably have to find something else for him to do. It'd be hilarious if this guy ends up capturing scholarships in the system I made.4 -
Worst fight I've had with a co-worker?
Had my share of 'disagreements', but one that seemed like it could have gone to blows was a developer, 'T', that tried to man-splain me how ADO.Net worked with SQLServer.
<T walks into our work area>
T: "Your solution is going to cause a lot of problems in SQLServer"
Me: "No, its not, your solution is worse. For performance, its better to use ADO.Net connection pooling."
T: "NO! Every single transaction is atomic! SQLServer will prioritize the operation thread, making the whole transaction faster than what you're trying to do."
<T goes on and on about threads, made up nonsense about priority queues, on and on>
Me: "No it won't, unless you change something in the connection string, ADO.Net will utilize connection pooling and use the same SPID, even if you explicitly call Close() on the connection. You are just wasting code thinking that works."
T walks over, stands over me (he's about 6.5", 300+ pounds), maybe 6 inches away
T: "I've been doing .net development for over 10 years. I know what I'm doing!"
I turn my chair to face him, look up, cross my arms.
Me: "I know I'm kinda new to this, but let me show you something ..."
<I threw together a C# console app, simple connect, get some data, close the connection>
Me: "I'll fire up SQLProfiler and we can see the actual connection SPID and when sql server closes the SPID....see....the connection to SQLServer is still has an active SPID after I called Close. When I exit the application, SQLServer will drop the SPD....tada...see?"
T: "Wha...what is that...SQLProfiler? Is that some kind of hacking tool? DBAs should know about that!"
Me: "It's part of the SQLServer client tools, its on everyone's machine, including yours."
T: "Doesn't prove a damn thing! I'm going to do my own experiment and prove my solution works."
Me: "Look forward to seeing what you come up with ... and you haven't been doing .net for 10 years. I was part of the team that reviewed your resume when you were hired. You're going to have to try that on someone else."
About 10 seconds later I hear him from across the room slam his keyboard on his desk.
100% sure he would have kicked my ass, but that day I let him know his bully tactics worked on some, but wouldn't work on me.7 -
Rant++
Just want to mention this mother fucker named Allen. Allen is a fuckin' badass. This guy fucks.
This bad mother fucker like single handedly wrote one of the best fuckin libraries for displaying tabular data, and threw in a shit ton of JSON capabilities just to make it that much fuckin' cooler.
And why? Because he fuckin fucks thats fucking why. I already told you.
And does this son of a fuck support his fucking product? You bet your sweet basement dwelling programming fucking ass that he does.
Dude works that support forum like he no doubt works that pussy. With full and complete knowledge and control, but with a gentle mature touch. Fuckin right.
Do you hate PHP? Well this fuck made a Node version? Do you hate Node? Use that shit with pure JS client side. This dude doesn't give a fuck. Don't have a table? Pass that shit JSON and GET A FUCKIN TABLE!!!
Some dipshit in your company needs to edit a database table but there's no way on sweet baby jesus's green earth you're giving that dumb fuck DB creds? Run that dumb fuck up a fully editable admin portal in like 5 fucking minutes because fuck him.
There are few things in my life I love. My corgi and my kids, and most days my wife.
But always fucking DATATABLES.
So, Allen Jardine... just wanted to give you and your product DataTables and Editor a fucking devRant shout out. It continues to be the one ray of light that works as expected and is extremely well supported when it doesn't and some days I just need that fucking consistency in my life man. So thanks.7 -
Be me, new dev on a team. Taking a look through source code to get up to speed.
Dev: **thinking to self** why is there no package lock.. let me bring this up to boss man
Dev: hey boss man, you’ve got no package lock, did we forget to commit it?
Manager: no I don’t like package locks.
Dev: ...why?
Manager: they fuck up computer. The project never ran with a package lock.
Dev: ..how will you make sure that every dev has the same packages while developing?
Manager: don’t worry, I’ve done this before, we haven’t had any issues.
**couple weeks goes by**
Dev: pushes code
Manager: hey your feature is not working on my machine
Dev: it’s working on mine, and the dev servers. Let’s take a look and see
**finds out he deletes his package lock every time he does npm install, so therefore he literally has the latest of like a 50 packages with no testing**
Dev: well you see you have some packages here that updates, and have broken some of the features.
Manager: >=|, fix it.
Dev: commit a working package lock so we’re all on the same.
Manager: just set the package version to whatever works.
Dev: okay
**more weeks go by**
Manager: why are we having so many issues between devs, why are things working on some computers and not others??? We can’t be having this it’s wasting time.
Dev: **takes a look at everyone’s packages** we all have different packages.
Manager: that’s it, no one can use Mac computers. You must use these windows computers, and you must install npm v6.0 and node v15.11. Everyone must have the same system and software install to guarantee we’re all on the same page
Dev: so can we also commit package lock so we’re all having the same packages as well?
Manager: No, package locks don’t work.
**few days go by**
Manager: GUYS WHY IS THE CODE DEPLOYING TO PRODUCTION NOT WORKING. IT WAS WORKING IN DEV
DEV: **looks at packages**, when the project was built on dev on 9/1 package x was on version 1.1, when it was approved and moved to prod on 9/3 package x was now on version 1.2 which was a change that broke our code.
Manager: CHANGE THE DEPLOYMENT SCRIPTS THEN. MAKE PROD RSYNC NODE_MODULES WITH DEV
Dev: okay
Manager: just trust me, I’ve been doing this for years
Who the fuck put this man in charge.11 -
Diversity Support Tickets EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE
Because if you happen to be born a woman or you like men (or women or both or none - its up to you) you'll get that €399 ticket for free. Seriously? From when white straight man can afford to pay for the conference but a different skin, gender or sexual orientation cannot?
No hate - you do you, but from my perspective as a woman, I feel this is kind of unfair to all my male fellas out there.5 -
Man I really hate it when people think that coding doesn't take any concentration and can just interrupt you while you're thinking about how to solve problems
So the other day I was working on how to solve a problem with filtering data with JS, and I had to urgently update one of our pages on our website. I had to update that page according to the content of a Word file, which I didn't check how long it was.
About 15 minutes later everything was ready and published, so I set myself back to my problem.
I get an email from her, "you mixed up things" and she showed up in my office. "There are four pages in this word doc and you copied wrong parts", I was like "ok, I'll fix it". Fixed it two minutes later, went back to code.
Received another email, with another subject, again with another problem. Start getting pissed off for being interrupted for nonsense. Fixed it instantly and put my manager in the email loop so she is aware my other colleague pisses me off.
And again, another direct email "can you fix this?!". I started ignoring her requests because I need some work to be done, and I already lost 2 hours. Got again interrupted by her personal visit to point me which things are wrong, repeating everything twice as I am stupid to her. Man I can't code in peace. I fixed her shit, exactly as she wants and decided to pay my manager a visit to tell her I'm really pissed about being interrupted all the time.
Five minutes before the end of the day, she comes panicking in the office about ANOTHER WORTHLESS issue. Told her it's nothing and went away.
Day is over, thought it was over - a whole afternoon spent correcting her fucking page that gets 10 visits a year.
On the next morning, "there is something wrong with your form, can you check it?!!?" with an attached screenshot. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU STOP ANNOYING ME WITH YOUR FUCKING SHIT CANT WORK ANYMORE. PUT YOUR FUCKING PAGE RIGHT UP YOUR ASS AND FIX IT YOURSELF.
She doesn't have any access to the back end.
Guess I'll have to fix it then...9 -
!rant
We just did a massive update to our prod db environment that would implicate damn near all system in our servers....on a friday.
Luckily for us, our DB is a badass rockstar mfking hero that was planning this shit for a little over a year with the assistance of yours truly as backup following the man's lead...and even then I didn't do SHIT
My boy did great, tested everything and the switch was effortless, fast (considering that it went on during working hours) and painless.
I salute my mfking dude, if i make my own company I am stealing this mfker. Homie speaks in SQL, homie was prolly there when SQL was invented and was already speaking in sql before shit was even set in spec, homie can take a glance at a huge db and already cast his opinion before looking at the design and architecture, homie was Data Science before data science was a thing.
Homie is my man crush on the number one spot putting mfking henry cavill on second place.
Homie wakes up and pisses greatness.
Homie is the man. Hope yall have the same mfking homie as I do5 -
Devs online be like "I started learning to code when I was 2 years old and submitted my first application at 5, since then I've made a few simple apps and pull in 2 million a day, not much but it pays the bills"
So discouraging to come up with a novel idea for a simple product and spend a lot of time just to realize you're absolutely lost and severely lack the knowledge to even produce a working product of any sort. All the while some kid makes something "simple" 10x more complex than what you failed to do, and in like a day nonetheless.
How do people just pick up so much knowledge so quickly? How do they just figure out information they couldn't have possibly known like it's intuition?
Life is hard man.14 -
Sober, jogging and lifting again. Working steady. Back to hiking and songwriting which I gave up on a couple years ago. Feeling more productive, happy, clear headed and calmer than I've been in two years. And the amount of attention I'm getting from the opposite sex lately has been crazy.
Joined a church, though I'm not mega into organized religion or anything. Looking for a backing pianist and vocalist to help record my songs. Back to studying math, learning Russian, and working on my game in between.
The only thing I'm not getting a lot of at the moment is sleep.
Feels good man.16 -
Since this category is called rant/story, let me tell you a story today.
I went paragliding above the turqoise colored "dead beach" of Fethiye.
And boy was that awesome.
I was very insecure about flying first. I have such an anxiety. While moving up towards the "Babadağ" Mountain which is 2000 meters above the sea level, my hands began to Shake. We reached the Clouds. The pilot told me everything will be fine. He is doing that since 2006 and has 4 medals for Turkey's best long distance flyer and he also was a stunt man.
We ran down the Cliff. And as my butt was pushed against the seat, my anxiety began to lower itself.
We even did some stunts, but I do not have them on tape.
Those having such anxiety problems should definitely try this out! Really! :)9 -
My dad got a new phone over the weekend and asked me to help him set it up (TL;DR his IPhone broke, he likely cussed out someone on the phone and now he's on android).
Setting up his bank app, I asked for his password (I somehow knew asking a 80+ year old man password questions wouldn't end well)
<pulls a card out of his wallet>
Dad: "Here you go."
Me: "This is your business card?"
Dad: "Yep. Password is at the bottom. That way I never forget it."
Me: "Jeez dad, you shouldn't have your bank's password on a business card. You don't give these out to people, do you?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Hell, they won't know what that is. Its just a bunch of nonsense."
Luckily the password didn't work. He had to reset it when his IPhone messed up and didn't remember what he changed the password to.6 -
1. My senior told me that my code is crashing.
2. I check the code and told him that it is not my doing. As there was lots of nested if-else as I prefer to keep a variable and update it in if conditions. Like a filters rather than trees with branches. What I say, I knew my coding style.
3. Then he show me my git commit and I am having existential crises.
Am I missing days? How can I? I mean was I abducted and in mean time some alien took my place and they placed this memory of me coding?
Ah! man I think I am possessed by some inexperienced developer. I seriously need some fucked up crash to exorcise him.3 -
My cat's always with me while coding.
It's nice, he's cute.
Then he decides to wake up, and to walk on my keyboard to go away.
Code looks like hcozpxucksl,,lOs', thanks man.
Not a big deal but I wanted to share my desperation with you, thanks for the listen12 -
DISCLAIMER: UNPOPULAR OPINION
I'm tired of the Linux community, they effectively discourage me of taking part in any discussion online
I'm currently making Windows-only soft, some game stuff, some legacy DirectX stuff you got it.
Everytime I go online, this shitty pattern happens, when I stumble upon a problem in project I don't know how to fix and I ask for help
These are responses
- HA, HA, WINDOWS BAD, HA, HA, GET REAL SYSTEM
- In Linux, we can do X too. I mean it has 4x less functionality and way shittier UX and is even harder to implement but it can probably work on too Linux, so it's better, yes, just move to Linux
- btw you didn't like Linux before? Try this distro man, it's better <links random distro>
Is there anything valuable in the Linux community? I feel like these people don't like Linux anyway, they just hate Windows. Every opinion, tip is always opinion based. Anyone who works on internals knows how much better and how well thought is Windows kernel compared to Linux kernel. Also, if someone unironically uses Linux distro on desktop PC then he's a masochist because desktop Linux is dieing. So many distros ceased work only this year.
Is it a good tool for servers and docker containers? I don't have my head stuck up my ass to admit that yes, it's much better than Windows here.
This community got me stressed right now, I fear that when I go to bathroom or open my microwave there's gonna be a Linux distro recommendation there
😠😡😠😴48 -
We can compile, transpile, and do all sorts of fucky internet things through an entire development pipeline and then troubleshoot through all sorts of hackery and dev sorcery to output html.
Or I can just index.php and be done with it.
I dunno man, I dig frontend and using the popular js libs to put shit online and be done without having to deal with the fuckery that is wasm or use something similar to Rust to bring shit to my clients.
9 times out of 10, these dudes have been well served with the php or node or even golang that i give them.
Seems that a lot of tools coming up just make shit harder.
Even VBScript seems simpler compared to the amount of web fuckery going on right now.
Yeah I keep current, but fuck, every day it seems as if shit was just getting more and more complex16 -
The state of the web in 2020:
discussion sites as a medium are dying. chalk that up to censorship.
reddit is an echochamber. twitter is mostly a marketing platform disguised as (anti)social media. instagram is a self promotion/wannabe eceleb site, and youtube is the new hollywood..quickly becoming irrelevant.
facebook is where I (dont) go to (totally not) ignore all the people important to me.
and email is where I go to send letters bordering on hatespeech to my various local and federal "representatives", in between borderline cyberbullying people stupid enough not to automate their spam marketing in 2020. or talking to left/right self-help grifters about the state of society.
in the grim dark future of 2020, the last bastion of intelligent conversation, free speech, and civility, the one shining icon of hope in a dark world..
is the comment section of pornhub videos where a women got stuck under a bed for the 50,000th time. And all I can think is "wow I never knew how easy it was to get trapped under a bed. They should look into fixing this safety hazard."
newsmedia has jumped so many sharks, the fonz now spins in his grave so fast we could hook him up to a generator. meanwhile people hide in their homes for a disease so deadly you have to be tested to know if you even have it.
while ever more car commercials
are released, set to somber but hopeful piano music to the tune of "in this time of social distancing its important to stay close even when we're apart."
Im beginning to think media has become a poison on society, both television and the internet, and like an ersatz cargo cultist worshipping the great-charles- manson-in-the-sky we should all take a page from the unabomber and smash our televisions with hammers before going outside and sawing down the telephone polls.
I jest of course. But there is no denying the inherent appeal of moving from the unsettling uncertainty of complex societies, driven by expertly manipulated fear cycles, to the beatitude-esque simplicty of pastoral protestant style living, sans witch burning and shoe buckles.
And against the reckoning of utopians who are still fresh from the womb as it were, wet behind the ears and smelling of their mother's pussy, I reject the notion that "up" is a synonym for "forward."
Were it the case, every drinking binge, followed by throwing up, would bring us, with each vomitting, one step closer to heaven. Rather the state of affairs is what it is, and what it is, like most of nature, is a cruel master and a harsh teacher. And while we may binge on digital delusions of grandeur and a greater society, rest easy in the nihilistic and sobering thought that we are little more than 200,000 year old cave men wielding magic bricks, and atomic bombs.
..where water flows more readily from metal tubes in our houses than it does from the nile. where food comes to our door at little more than our beck and call.
where we may bath, and sleep, and *shit*, cleanly, comfortably, and safely, wrapped in the (failing) bubble of delusion we all tenaciously grasp collectively, the thing we call "civilization".
an empire of needful things, wanton and fragile.
if we have not gone mad from boredom, I have no doubt we one day will.
it becomes more and more obvious to me every day, had war never existed, it would have been necessary for man to invent it just to have something to do, that didnt include farming, fucking, or building.
And so enters "political idealogy."
How would we ever have enemies if we were allowed to speak our piece instead of being given the means (and reflex dogwhistle training) to silence and destroy one another?
give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank. give a man a bank, he'll rob the world.
give him a media empire or a tech platform, and he'll lie about the theft and convince one half of millions of lemmings to hate all the other lemmings.11 -
[ Coworker walks up to my desk at 4:15 PM ]
Coworker: "Hey man. We had to make a few changes to the codebase because one of our unit tests were failing. Can you take a look at a pull request for me?"
Me: "Yeah sure, how many files?"
C: "About 600"
Me: [ thinking it might just be a ton of libraries or gradle shit] "...ooookaayyyy... that's a lot but doable... how many lines?"
C: “128,000 lines"
Me: "Fuck you"11 -
!dev at all
Was chilling with my t mobile rep trying to get some issues resolved regarding what Verizon's bitchass was trying to do after i left their shitty company.
While i was there and my dude was working his magic i noticed this smoking chick walking around the store waiting for someone to help her out. So being that everyone was busy and sorta scared of talking to her( i can sense that shit) i told my boy to go and pick her as his customer, to be flirty and cool and shit.
My poor dude was all like "nah man I dunno how to talk to girls...."
I was telling him "bro, you ain't bad looking, just go, introduce yo ass and tell her that you'll take care of her in a min!"
"But i get all anxious and shit"
"Nah man, just talk to her like you did to me when we first met, she is just a customer, i aint telling you to ask her out on a date, just i dunno practice talking to girls! No harm with that! Specially this one b look at them leeeeeeegs!"
Now, why did I care? The reason is that he mentioned to me after seeing my wife (total babe) that he pictures me as a player. Which I was but that is beyond the point. And he said that he had always had trouble talking to girls.
So i told him what to do, said to be calm and confident. Ninja is an alpha salesman, and great with t mobile services, so he has that confidence, told him to exude that shit as if he was talking to a guy.
Homeboy got ballsy, drank 5 gallons of man the fuck up and went and did what I did. Then she went ahead and stand next to us, and i put on the good words for my dude "ah you got the best rep right here! G boy is bomb with everything!!" She was laughing saying that she hopes that he can help her with her phone.
"Don't worry, i got you, its just a small thing and if you want i'll show you what to do for future occasions"
"Oh so you don't want me to come back if it happens?"
"Haha you can come back any time as long as I am the one helping you out"
DAAAAAAAAAAAMN son!!
"Ok, but only if its you"
Daaaaaaaaaamn
Went better than expected. The dude needs more confidence, he aint bad looking at all and don't want him missing out on some of the babes we got walking around town.
Lord knows I had my fun with them.10 -
Im so fucking pissed. so in my family (im an only child) im the computer expert. but everytime i touch something EVERYONE THINKS IM GOING TO BREAK IT OR TELL ME I DONT KNOW WHAT IM FUCKING DOING. FUCKING EXCUSE ME?
My mother was bitching about her laptop she uses for college about how something was not working and she was on the phone with a guy that told her "Its a JavaScript error and he told me I have to redownload windows" and im just like "MOm THERE IS NOT A DAMN NEED FOR YOU TO REINSTALL AN OPERATING SYSTEM FOR AN ERROR ON YOUR BROWSERS SIDE OR THE WEBSITES SIDE" (i didnt get to see the error)
I pick up the laptop and unplug it and she yells at me because the IT man told her it wouldnt work if she unplugged it. So i told her im done helping her with all her bullshit she can do what she wants. and comes in says it works now and she doesnt know why. then goes out and buys a new laptop bc she cant process moving her files on the cloud or a flashdrive.
my entire fucking family is like this.
S E N D H E L P .7 -
Story of onboarding in the age of Corona!
Monday:
Office is big but almost empty, people are working from home. Guy welcoming me says he is not the one supposed to help me(he is sick I'm told) and the rest of the team is not there. The man I'm talking to is this other guys boss. It's OK I think it will work out.
Turns out this guy helping me is actually the CTO so he does not have that much time on his hands. He shows me were to get my computer and desk and hands me documentation to setup some software.
I spend the time before lunch installing linux, setting up git and some other software. CTO checks up on me once.
Then after lunch nothing...I look for him but he is in some meeting. I find some videos by myself labled "onboarding" on the company website. They are OK. I ask my deskmate if he heard what team I will be in. He doesn't know. I sneak out a little early since I have nothing left to do.
Tuesday:
The CTO is now also sick I see in an email when I arrive at the office. Still don't know what team I am in.
I spend the morning reading coding blogs and websites. After lunch I have a meeting. The only one in my calendar. It's about the product software architecture for all new employees. It's good but still no news about what team. I aimlessly read up on some software architecture untill I go home.
Wednesday:
I arrive at the office first, only the receptionist is there. I listen to podcasts until a few more people show up. I ask another guy if he knows what team I'm supposed to be in. He doesn't but laughs and says it was the same when he started last year.
I send out messages on slack looking for anyone that knows...still no one knows. I guess Im in limbo now. Perhaps i should just start making coffee for people or something...14 -
At a meeting:
"We don't know why <past developer, they all know who this motherfucker is> did it this way but we have to..."
Me: *slams table* no, stop. I am tired of this. Y'all must've really liked this guy. But he did it this way because he was a fucking idiot.
A
Fucking
Idiot
There is no other reason for this amount of fuckery that I have to be bothered to fix and mess with on A DAILY BASIS so I am gonna go ahead and call it as it is. The dude was a damn moron and no one here stopped him. I know he was a janitor here that got his cute lil associates and y'all wanted some good will hunting shit to happen, but <said dumbass developer is no matt damon"
Them: "YOU CaNt JusT UsE ThaT lanGUAGE"
"Am i gonna fix this shit?"
"Well......no one else kno...."
Me: "exactly"
Legit man i am sick and tired of this shit. I did not earn a B.S in comp sci. Graduated in the top percentage of my class, am suffering through my MCS to fix php like a fucking moron all day.The rest of my web devs backed me up.
Aaaand btw..no, it is not my job. I am a fucking analyst, i provide data reports, i program said reports, i am tasked with this shit because i used to work for then as a web tech.....got a different position cuz i was tired of it...fuck me right?18 -
So I landed this interview with a company that provided military simulations, to work as an android intern (mobile). And man was I intent on getting it, I could only dream of my first job being as a dev, for a company that developed cool software. 😯
I show up, pull out my laptop, go over some of my projects (crap at the time, since I was 16, but ChessAI ftw) and also show them an android app I developed.
Then, I pulled out my calculator and showed them a clock I'd made on it. That's probably when I lost them... ☹️
They asked me a couple questions about software development, like if I knew what agile was, or if I unit tested my code (didn't even know they existed at the time ☹️ ) , etc.
I had done research on the company and asked them questions about specific software and so on, also asked about what working there would look like, etc.
They never called.
I called.
They never answered.
😭
Ended up washing dishes. Honestly, fuck my life.5 -
New HOE came. He “streamlined” the processes and “standardised” the policies. And in turn.. fucked up the whole startup feel of my company.
I saw it happening right in front of my eyes in a matter of only few months.
Earlier, things were flexible, work was fun, people were even ready to put in more hours because we were all having fun. Now, work feels like work, fun is gone, frustration has become normal, and the most frustrating part is that.. WFH is now a “privilege”.
Fuck this shit man! That fucker exhausted the whole company in just a few months. Given enough time, he will be the end of this company.7 -
Friend of mine at college is struggling with his cpp class.
Have been helping this guy since forever with it, he is not a coder by any means nor does he display any sort of affinity or "talent" for it. But he does make up with intense dedication. Still he knows that he will not be pursuing a career in software engineering, this is just a class.
The thing is, he showed me a video of his class. The instructor is middle eastern with a thick accent. Accent so thick I need subtitles for this motherfucker.
He has learned more from me that he has at uni. And at my day job the interns say the same thing. I love teaching and far prefer it over working on projects.
This week we have a meeting with the head of the i.t dptmtn at school as nd I will try to pitch myself in as a faculty member by popular demand.
I would love to teach, i have experience in the field and learn a lot from going over shit as an instructor. I can make one go from wtf is JS used for to handling promises and writing Angular in days.
I really want to teach man.7 -
Tomorrow Halloween is being celebrated in many nations as you might know. So we do in germany. Given that in Germany tomorrow is a national Holiday, the company skipped work today, with me being on call.
My On-Call time almost was over so I got ready to party (getting into my costume), not expecting any further calls.
I finished dressing up, still had some time, so I dug into coding a bit, as a costumer called. A customer from china. As I got told later on China does not celebrate Halloween in October and they do in another way.
So I set there, accepting the call, with my Camera set to autostart (Company policy).
Camera. On.
In. Costume.
As a monk.
With a bleach white face.
I was greeted by a man starring me "into the eyes". Took a good 1-3 secs til we bursted out in laugher. One of the funniest calls I had so far 😂 (and a short one, thanks China-Man)2 -
Walk from my office to the cafeteria.
Bump into this one kid, we both good, said sorry and moved on.
Team of what seems volleyball players run by. Nice legs.jpg. continue to walk. Say hi to people st cafeteria.
Damn near 10 mins in taco line...way too many kids. Hold up what are all these kids doing here?
Wall back to office, sit down...then it hits me.
I work at a college. Das why there are so many fucking kids.
Stopid man. -
I fucking hate Angular. I don't know man I've been using NoScript since my balls dropped and I feel like JavaScript is fucking useless (I like Typescript syntactically though).
What drives me nuts is all the frameworks: Think of a word, add .js, search it up... it's theeeeere.
I know I'm not the only one who fucking hate JS, and I don't think there are many people who genuinely love it. Sorry I just wanted to rant and it's 5 a.m.9 -
*wants to watch Re:Zero on Windows*
The files are on my file server, exposed to the Windows machine with Samba. But the Re:Zero directory isn't visible on Windows 🤔
$ mv "Re:Zero" ReZero
*Suddenly becomes visible on Windows*
What the fuck.. can't it do : characters? Something as basic as that? Microsoft, you.. you never heard of character escaping? I mean, Linux shells for example don't deal with certain characters very well either, so what do you do? Either "this", 'this', or this\ stuff, depending on some and the other things that I won't get into, but mostly it boils down to preference.
Meanwhile Windows: sorry man, can't do it >_< but I can fuck up your language, updates, privacy and files!!!
Fucking hell.. at this point I'm not even mad anymore. Just.. what the fuck Microsoft?14 -
Upon a certain angry Germans recommendation I started getting into flutter.
Best fucking decission ever. Shit is simple and makes sense.
I ain't tagging him cuz he don't like being tagged.
But thanks man!! You know who you are!
The code makes sense, the widget tree hierarchy makes sense, knowing the native counterpart helps whenever the flutter portion ain't doing it(has not happened yet) and dart is really a good language.
The tooling is fucking genius, funny enough the emulators open quicker with vs code than android studio or xcode(fuck those two btw, 2 fucking years of hate towards them ain't going away) and building designs programatically make waaay more sense.
Flutter gave me back my hope for mobile development. This is google knowing that they fucked up Android development and fixing it and schooling IOS development for taking a good set of languages(obj c and swift) nd fucking them up with their shit way of development.
I am in love.9 -
Navy story time again. Lots of blabbering, you have been warned.
I haven't written for some time, due to paperwork bullshit that can be easily automated by even the most shitty database... no, scratch that, the simplest Excel spreadsheet with basic formulae. But I digress.
On my quest to justify myself being unproductive, I'll share with you a small story I omitted from this post:
https://devrant.com/rants/2099473/...
The lunacy of the man involved, while certainly entertaining after a few years (and nautical miles) away, is certainly disturbing and most certainly true. (Late disclaimer: ALL my rants are not made-up. This is shit that truly happened before my very eyes, and while I was sober.)
After I set up some cute little stuff to try and get the CO interested, in order to give me permission (and a cut from the budget) to proceed in restructuring and upgrading the ship's net, I tried a more direct approach: connecting and setting up his work laptop with the ship's GPS, radar and AIS receptor via ethernet, and installing an ECS system so that he could monitor the ship's position, movement and targets from his office (the fat fuck couldn't be bothered to go up one deck). A day later he called me to his office.
Expecting some kind of... praise? Permission? Complaints on the font style? whatever, I entered. Oh, how I wish I had not.
I was barraged for TWO FUCKING HOURS by the CO, complaining that I was taking care of the net and PCs and neglecting the Navigation department (I was not, automation is my friend combating moronic paperwork). I would have thought it as just another failed attempt, but after TWO MINUTES from the end of the barrage:
CO:... so, my personal laptop is kind of slow, you think you can do anything about it?
ME: ....................
I.
SHIT.
YOU.
NOT.
What was rushing through my mind was somewhere between bipolar and multiple personality disorder, with the third option of Alzheimer's disease. I half-expected some Candid Camera crew to pop out, but no.
CO: So? Can you speed up my laptop?
ME: ............................... I don't know, sir, I have paperwork to take care of.
CO: That can wait, surely you can do something about it, you know computers.
ME: [really long pause, blood pressure rising] I'll look into it in a moment, sir.
And I never did. I told of the incident to the ship's doctor, and he expressed great worry over this, but in the end, nothing was done.
My sympathies to everyone who has to interact with non-technicians of the homo sapiens species (ironically, homo sapiens means "wise man" in latin... the irony).3 -
!rant
So the other day, my mother came to visit me after a while of not seeing each other. And one thing we used to do together was go searching through old weird junk stores. We go searching through one, and there was a box of floppy discs. I was excited, because I haven't seen one since I was a little kid. I brought it to her attention, and she said, "Wow. A floppy disc!" I laughed and read the disc aloud, "Oh man. Only 1MB." Then proceeded to laugh even more. And she said "I remember thinking 'theres no way anyone would ever take up that much space!'"
That just absolutely blows my mind haha.1 -
Me: Man this has been a killer week! Coding bootcamp has been better than I ever could have dreamed. Home life is good. Nothing could kill my good mood.
*opens up Facebook*
*Sees Microsoft is trying to pay billions of dollars to take control of Github*
...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK
*Starts cloning repos like crazy*13 -
Teacher: what is 1 + 1?
kid : I don't know
Teacher: Ok! you have one man and one women, how many are there?
Kid: Three.
Teacher: how?
Kid: There was my mom and dad, when they add up we become three.
Teacher: %(;:)--,^$2 -
GIT LOG VERSION 101
----------------
75fed18 pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
56772ff added security.
6374fdd needs more cow bell
6b27de9 Committing fixes in the dark, seriously, who killed my power!?
bffce8a giggle.
7e93977 Refactored configuration.
e66c495 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 11
5690dd9 Revert "just testing, remember to revert"
daa84ba Still can't get this right...
097f164 this should fix it
367f271 GIT :/
f46d735 bump to 0.0.3-dev:wq
b893721 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
24be0d9 ...
f014a0c ALL SORTS OF THINGS
e648b80 added super-widget 2.0.
3a71628 perfect...
e2a8cb1 Fucking templates.
b08e489 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 113 -
I've been working on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work--
**Sorry. I should rephrase that**
I've been *trying* to work on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work.
It's slightly complicated because I'm not as "in the know" with the project as I should be. I get tossed around projects a lot as the only designer+developer so I've got my hands in a lot of buckets... Or git repos I should say... My source tree has a lot of tabs open and each project is run by someone with their own ideologies on how stuff should be done and laid out and what not. Basically jumping between these projects leaves you mildly capable on all of them but not amazing at any of individual one them--
--I digress.
There's a bug I've been trying to fix.
--Stupid simple bug, literally just a casting issue or something but there's so much data in this one object that it's taking a few solid minutes of concentration to figure out which variable is busting it all up. It shouldn't take long to fix...
But it has. It has taken 4 days.
FOUR. DAYS.
...To fix what is basically a null reference exception.
Every time I sit down to work on this bug real quick I get pulled away to do a wireframe or change a flow chart or diagram or colour or print styling.
Every. God. Damn. Time.
4 days. Soon to be 5.
My commits are real low at this point guys.
Please boss man, just let me code...4 -
Fucking piece of shit German internet man. Some of you might know that Germany probably has the shittiest internet in the EU. And by shitty, I don't mean the downstream speeds you can get (which is how most ISPs justify their crappy network), but the GODDAMN UPSTREAM SPEEDS.
See, I'm just a student, right? I don't run a fucking company or something like that. I don't need / can't afford a symmetrical gigabit connection. But I do a lot of stuff that requires a decent upstream connection.
Fucking Unitymedia (my ISP), if I already decide to buy the goddamn "business plan" (IPv6 & static adresses), at least supply me with some decent upstream speeds. PLEASE!
My current plan costs ~45€ a month for internet and TV (I don't watch, but my two other flat-mates do).
Internet speeds are 150 Mbit/s down and FUCKING 10 Mbit/s up! What??! What the hell am I supposed to do with only 10 Mbit/s?? I'm already completely exhausting the bandwidth and I'm not even done setting everything up! Fucking hell...
I was planning on getting their "upload package" to get at least 20 Mbit/s up – but they removed that option! IT'S GONE, PEOPLE! They said in an interview last year that "customers are not interested in higher upload speeds" and consequently removed that option. WHAT???
"You wanna have state-of-the-art downstream speeds of 400 Mbit/s? Here you go. Oh, our maximum limit of 10 Mbit/s upstream is not enough for you? TOO FUCKING BAD, NOTHING THAT WE CAN OFFER YOU!"
(Seriously though, the best customer internet plan is 400D & 10U)
Goddamn... in this day and age of things like cloud storage etc. even "normal" people definitely need higher upload speeds.
Man, this rant got so long, but I really wanted to get this out. This wasn't even everything though, maybe I'll make a separate rant to elaborate on other issues.
If you are interested, you might want to read up on the following report:
https://speedtest.net/reports/...33 -
Me 2 days ago :
"I have applied to so many places, and did lots of interview for my internship. Still no result so far. Maybe I need to take some odd jobs to cover my bills while I improve my coding skills. Rent and food need to be paid, you know.
But I will keep applying to at least 40 companies before I change my strategy"
Me today :
"OMFG, they offered me a position despite my very bad interview!!"
🤩
So whoever is still looking for a job out there, don't give up man... We are in this together.👍👍3 -
Devrant and pickpockets
A week ago on Tuesday was heading to meet my client for a demo presentation.Once in town and few metres from our meeting point thought of checking some few rants only for my device to be snatched from my hands and the pick pocket sublimes away.
I composed myself and went to the agreed meeting point only not to meet my client and they was no way I would reach out to him.After making few rounds waiting for him finally gave up and headed for home.
Fast forward I made a resolution not to get a new device till a week ends and had to roll back to a simple device till today.
With today being the D-day I did head to my carrier to get a new device and once the phone was being set up the customer care agent asks which app do you need set up.With no hesitation I gladly say DevRant and she got no idea what's that then after some explaining she says all give it a try with a smile.
I later leave the store a happy man with DevRant being the first app on my device as I ran stock android.
Glad to be back family.1 -
I have this amazing idea, said John
I ask John about this amazing idea.
John goes on to say that it will change the world and solve world hunger.
I ask him again, what's your idea?
John says my idea is to 'solve world hunger'! AMAZING RIGHT?
now now John, so you're gonna do it like (provide a few solutions)..
John says yeah that was exactly what my idea was (ah. Fuck you)
So John now is under the delusion that he can solve world hunger and the steps to do it came from his own ostrich-brained imagination...
Tiny fuck doesn't even realize the fact that he plagiarized.
Now we look into the future where I ask John honestly that he should come up with his own idea to solve world hunger and not use mine.
JOHN GETS ANGRY
John asks 'do you actually think that was your idea? We were brainstorming man, I told you we had to solve world hunger and only because of my voice did I spark that idea in you, I created that idea man'
So, well since he's plagiarized so much I told him that I had this plan to perform a hunger strike in the grand Canyon to get some attention..
Fidgety little bitch found another idea to steal and he was like good idea!! I'm booking my flight to the Grand Canyon now!
What bout me I ask? He says man take some rest let me face the pressure (and the glory apparently)
Well, John did not return.
Poor stupid John did not realize that I had been joking and got his little ass fired under the direct sun in the grand canyon
Moral of the story :
I WILL DESTROY YOUR HOMES AND YOUR LIVES PLAGIARISTS, I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU *cough**cough*
Damn that Sulphur hexafluoride actually worked!8 -
Actually I'm pleasantly surprised about Windows' stability nowadays. It's capable for running for up to a week with no stability issues, whereas systemd on the other hand.. let's just say that my Arch containers could do better right now.
Data mining aside, damn man.. Microsoft is improving for once! Is this the so-many'th unusable/somewhat stable switch? I mean, it's not like we haven't seen that happen yet! Windows 98, shit! Windows 2000, kinda alright! Windows Me, shit! Windows XP, kinda alright! Windows Vista, oh don't even get me started on that pile of garbage! Windows 7, again kinda okay! Windows 8, WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT START MENU GO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!!! Windows 10, well at least that Start menu got fixed. Then it got into some severe QA issues, which now seem to have gotten somewhat fixed again.
I'm starting to see a pattern here! 🤔13 -
brain: ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION ABSTRACTION too much ABSTRACTION!
me: jeez calm down a lil i just deployed a boilerplate ember web app with cli tools with next to nothing amount of 'my' code.
b: YES U SUCKER THAT'S WHAT WENT WRONG U DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE LIL STUFF THAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE SCENES THE FUCK MAN U CALL YOURSELF A CS STUDENT YOU CAN'T EVEN WRITE A COMPILER YET
m: sooo remember when we were studying logic gates and binary conversions and you sigkilled all my threads cuz it was 'boring'?
b: why yes why do you ask
m: WELL that's where we'll end up again if you don't stop nagging me about going down. Trust me, I KNOW how to starve you and you'll beg me to use Python again. You start making advanced data structures in C and the next thing you know you're writing assembly code 'just for fun'.
I have a hackathon coming right up and I have to use a framework or my team loses the advantage. Are we good?
b: well if you put it that way...BUT AFTER THAT YOU'RE TAKING ME TO AN ALGORITHM SESSION
m: *eerily stares at the dusty book in the corner*
you... have a deal3 -
What the fuck man.
Why even I am working with this assholes.
Yesterday,Our technical support guy reinstalled windows(I don't mess up with technical issues because then it will be my part time job,so I show that I don't know anything about hardware).
He installed fucking 32 bit window,He was trying to installed 64 bit version thunderbird.
He wasted my whole day.16 -
Some more of Stux's !dev pet peeves
1) Teenagers who comment shit like "I'm from the wrong generation" or "today's music is trash. This is real music" on songs from like the 70s and 80s. Like shut the fuck up. You can like whatever music you want, but your taste in music doesn't make you unique, so just shut the fuck up and listen to the music. I was jamming out to 70s and 80s when I was 9, so you aren't the first to enjoy older music at a young age
2) "Old heads" who comment shit like "this isn't real *genre*" on a new song that isnt like the older version of that genre. News flash: music fucking evolves. Just because that country song doesn't have a twangy guitar in it, that doesn't mean the song ain't country. Just because the rap song ain't some deep ass poetic shit, it doesn't make it any less of a rap song.
3) People who edit their comments on YouTube to say shit like "wow thanks for all the likes, I wasn't expecting this." Wooptie fucking doo. Your comment got a few thousand likes. Fun fact: those likes are meaningless.
4) Humidity. Fuck that shit man.
5) General education classes. They're a fucking pain in the ass man. Like im 98% confident I don't need art history in the real world. Or mythology. "tHeY tEaCh YoU tO lEaRn." Teach me to learn in degree specific classes then. At least their content will be interesting to me.
My name is Stuxnet. Thanks for coming to my TED talk again.20 -
After a decade of working in the web development industry, I have given up all hope, it's the same fucking stupid ideas, the same retarded problems in every damned company . Monkeys discovering and reinventing the same fucking wheel over and over and over again. From a 5 man company to the unicorn scaleup (and everything between) I have had to implement access control systems, and various REST API's following the design made by mongrels who do it the first time . I have become to hate the work I once was so passionate about. Just fuck this shit , if anybody had told me when I was in my early 20's that this is what I end up doing I'd go and learn to be a carpenter instead.10
-
So I was setting up my friend's NAS. Got everything worked in minutes (dns, port forwarding etc.). Enabled ftp connection tried it locally, working. Tried remotely, timed out...
After half an hour I was about to tear my hair out one by one when he suddenly said to wait a sec he knows what's the problem. Tapped two on his phone and suddenly, it's working.
THE FUCKING PHOTO UPLOADING FROM HIS PHONE TO THE CLOUD BLOCKED ALL INCOMING CONNECTIONS AND HE WAS AWARE OF THAT ALL ALONG. WHAT THE FUCK MAN, DO YOU ENJOY SEEING ME STRUGGLE?? That was literally an "I'm out" moment. -
I fucking hate chained methods. Ok, not all of them. Query things like array.where.first... that stuff is ok.
Specially if it's part of the std lib of a lang, which would be probably written by a very competent coder and under scrutiny.
But if you're not that person, chances are you'll produce VASTLY inferior code.
I'm talking about things like:
expect(n).to.be(x).and.not(y)
And the reason I don't like it is because it's all fine and dandy at first.
But once you get to the corner cases, jesus christ, prepare to read some docpages.
You end up reading their entire fucking docs (which are suboptimal sometimes) trying to figure if this fucking dsl can do what you need.
Then you give up and ask in a github issue. And the dev first condescends you and then tells you that the beautiful eden of code he created doesn't let you do what you want.
The corner cases usually involve nesting or some very specific condition, albeit reasonable.
This kind of design is usually present in testing or validation js libraries. And I hate all of those for it.
If you want a modern js testing lib that doesn't suck ass, check avajs. It's as simple as testing should be.
No magic globals, no chaining, zero config. Fuck globals forced by libs.
But my favorite thing about it that is I can put a breakpoint wherever the fuck I want and the debugger stops right fucking there.
Code is basically lines of statements, that's it, and by overusing chaining, by encouraging the grouping of dozens of statements into one, you are preventing me from controlling these statements on MY code.
As an end dev, I only expect complexity increases to come from the problems themselves rather than from needlessly "beautified" apis.
When people create their own shitty dsl, an image comes to my mind of an incoherent rambling man that likes poetry a lot and creates his own martial art, which looks pretty but will get your ass kicked against the most basic styles of fighting.
I fucking hate esoteric code.
Even if I had to execute a list of functions, I'd rather send them in an array instead of being able to chain them because:
a) tree shaking would spare from all the functions i didn't import
b) that's what fucking arrays are for, to contain several things.
This bad style of coding is a result of how low the barrier to code in higher level langs are.
As a language or library gets easier to use you might think that's a positive thing. But at the same time it breeds laziness.
Js has such a low learning curve that it attacts the wrong kind of devs, the lazy, the uninspired, the medium.com reader, the "i just care about my paycheck" ones.
Someone might think that by bashing bad js devs I'm trying to elevate myself.
That'd be extremely stupid. That's like beating a retarded blind man in a game and then saying "look, I'm way better than this retarded blind man".
I'm not on a risky point of view, just take a stroll down npmjs.com. That place is a landfill. Not really npm's fault, in fact their search algorithm is good.
It's just the community.
Every lang has a ratio of competence. Of competent to incompetent devs.
You have the lang devs and most intelligent lib devs at the top. At the bottom you have the bottom.
Well js has a horrible ratio. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that most js devs still consider using import or await the future.
You could say that js improved a lot, that it was way worse beforr. But I hate chaining now, and i hated back then!
On top of this, you have these blog web companies, sucking the "js tutorial" business tit dry, pumping out the most obscenely unprofessional and bar lowering tutorials you can imagine, further capping the average intelligence of most js devs.
And abusing SEO while they're at it, littering the entire web with copy paste content.2 -
Conversing with developers can be frustrating.
Here is a good one from today. 2 people 1 women (let’s call her W) and one man (let’s call him M)
W: “Hey guys! Our team is looking for lots of great developers. Front end, back end, data, dev ops. At above market salaries with a great team! Reach out to me is you want to chat. I would love to hear from you.”
Translation: I have a great offer and want to help others achieve and strive in their careers.
M: “also, guys/less-gendered-alternative plz” proceeds to chastise this women about using the word guys.
Translation: I have no level of social awareness, but I have a need to feel big and important. So I’ll take offence for those who aren’t offended to make me feel better about my lack of fucking personality.
————
I’m not really concerned about opinions about the gender issue. It isn’t about that.
It’s just tiring dealing with these people’s bullshit.
It’s time to grow up folks, stop arguing on the fucking internet.
————
I also once saw a developer chastise 2 women we worked with while we were out for drinks for the exact same thing; using the word guys.
He was so busy “defending” them from themselves that he ended up making them uncomfortable and then they left.
He was saying “don’t exclude women” while fucking excluding the only women there.
What a fucking douche.4 -
Today I attended an interview with one of the biggest companies in Automative Technology. What's the worse that could happen. I waited at the reception, then I was taken in. Pushed into a small room. The room could accommodate a single person, but the interviewer and a lady cramped in. I sat on a small chair pushed to the wall. Fuck, I felt claustrophobic. The whole atmosphere was unpleasant. Especially when I tried to see the interviewer, his chest hair kept screaming at me. For God sake, button your shirt man. As the interview went, I figured out, they were not interested in having interview in the first place. Demeaning it was. As I got up to leave, the interviewer walked out first. Then I noticed his feet. Sandals. Goes well with the unbuttoned shirt. Isn't it. If he was going to be my manager, I rather not go even if I get selected.3
-
getting into dev work is such a shit show. thinking back 2 years ago I decided to switch career so went on bootcamp and starting looking for junior role.
as you know full well all jobs requires 5+ years when the tech has only been around 3. Anyhow, got a junior full stack role at a start up, all good , great pace (cos of startup) and wide range of tech to learn. one minute i am doing great , next day I am not good enough and got let go (WTF?) ,also whats up with some backend devs Jesus why wouldnt you let me put a " on aws because you are the backend dev what the fuck is wrong with your ego man?
fun story number 2: after being let go of my first role due to being good dev for one day and bad the next. I went for an intern role for really low paid. well fair enough I am here to learn right guys? nope, i have experience with the main tech from my last job and I managed the take home test and despite I told them i have more experience front end they criticise my backend code , despite i was able to tell them what I have done not so well and I have found a better solution AT THE INTERVIEW. still not good enough. I was really doubting myself If I am that shit at being an fucking intern with a stack I have experience in.
fast forward another job interview I landed my current role with fantastic culture, good line manager & tech lead. nice colleague and I am being treated like a prince with the work i put in. Why is this industry so fucked?
so, folks out there trying to get into this game. dont lose hope, you can do it , you just need to get fucked a bit to know whats good out there!5 -
!dev
My toxic father. Seriously man. It's my 4th day of learning to drive with an instructor. He sits besides and never knew how to drive. I think I am driving good wrt to being very new in it. He thinks just because I slow myself down on the road and cannot take a turn properly, let me say it again, on the 4th day of driving a manual car, he thinks I can never drive. What a fucking douchebag. What a fucking coward, impatient human says that. I am in rage because now I'm like 27, but in my childhood he was at his worst behaviour. That's why I was always scared of doing complex things, I stick with easy because I will make no mistakes. He has fucking no right in being proud of me. He's so fucking bad, I hate him. But more than hating him I want to find a way not to give a fuck about his fucking small discouraging shameful opinions. Fucker cannot do anything by himself. He's the most messed up fucking person I have ever seen. And oh god I fucking resent this guy.
I should start calling him a fucking retard that way I can devalue him as a person. I could never thought that I will think about a person like this but this retard left me no choice.
The thing is even a person is a retard I will try to understand them so give me a good word that just devalues a person instantly.14 -
!dev
I come from a small shitty valley where all that people want to achieve is getting approved for loans to buy more cows and shit.. My only friend comes from there as well but he’s different, more like me.. build a life, get out and pursuit something better and bigger..
We grew up smoking everything we could and drinking everything we got because what else are we gonna do, put shit on fire? Been there, done that.. it sucks growing up on the poop hole of the world.
We both left that shithole and started careers but he’s throwing it all out the window.. he’s getting caught with weed, DUI and shit. just a few years ago he got off of more serious drugs.. He built a career and shit for about 10 years but right now he’s just throwing it all away because drugs are in his comfort zone. But he has to go give Pias samples for a while now and if he doesn’t stop he is not getting his license back and the unemployment insurance won’t even pay him because (although he lost the job because of Covid) they said it’s because he smokes weed.
Without the license goes his career as he’s a service electrician.
So fucking hurtful to see, man.
And so hard to accept that he won’t listen and than I’m not his dad who can tell him what to do..
90% of the kids I grew up with who managed to leave that shit hole ended up as homeless junkies.. I guess I’m happy to have the mindset to not end up like them.. and that’s really all it is, the mindset is the only difference (which is complex in itself of course like parenting and stuff)5 -
Holy FREAKING shit!! This was worst stupidest mistake I have ever made!
About 9 hours ago, i decided to implement brotli compression in my server.
It looked a bit challenging for me, because the all the guides involved compiling and building the nginx with brotli module and I was not that confident doing that on live site.
By the end of the guide, the site was not reachable anymore. I panicked.
Even the error logs and access logs were not picking up anything.
About a dozens guides and a new server and figuring out few major undocumented errors later, it turns out the main nginx.conf file had a line that was looking for *.conf files in the sites-enabled directory.
But my conf file was named after the domain name and ending with .com and hence were not picked up by the new nginx.conf
I'm not sure if I wasted my 9 hours because of that single line or not. But man, this was a really rough day!3 -
Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry
[ NOTE : Check profile to read older incidents ]
-----------------------------------------------------------
So this all started when I was at my home (bunked the office that day xD) and I got a call from a..... Let's call him Fella as I always do . So here we go . And yeah , our Fella is a SysAdmin .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fella - Hey man sup!
Me - Good going mate , bunked the office , weather's nice , gonna spend time with my girl today . So what's goinon?
Fella - Bruh my network sharing folders ain't working no more .
Me - Did you changed or modified anything?
Fella - Nope
Me - Okay , gimme your login creds lemme check .
Fella - Check your inbox *texts me the credentials*
*I logged in and what I'm seeing is that server runs on Windows2008R2 , checked the event logs , everything's fine and all of a sudden what I found is fucking embarrassing , this wise man closed SMB service*
Me - Did you closed SMB service?
Fella - Yeah
Me - You know what it does?
Fella - Yeah it's a protocol , I turned it off to protect the server from Wannacry .
Me - Fuckerrrr!!!!! Asshole dumbass you fuckin piece of Dodo's shit!! SMB is the service responsible for files and network sharing!!!
Fella - But....I just wanted protection
Me - 😭😭😭
*A long conversation continues with a lot of specially made words to decrease the rate of frustration which I used already*
Fella - Okay I'm turning it on .
Me - Go on....... Asshole
Fella - It worked! Thanks a lot bro
Me - Just leave me and my soul away from evil and hang up .
*Now the question is , who the hell gives them the post of SysAdmin? While thinking this question , I almost thought of committing suicide but then my girl came with coffee and my rubber duck*1 -
Two years ago I started a small online business. It was not a long term investment and it literally ended up being a one man business. The idea was to provide a service to a small group of people who will benefit from my idea and to offer it to them at a very cheap price. (It being the cheapest helped its popularity a lot).
However, never once did it actually make any profit. (and i never wanted it to make a profit) I wanted it to be self sustaining business and it was.
This was a project for my University by the way, I started off in my first year because of my extensive knowledge in the particular matter, and I only sold to people on campus.
Now that its been 4 years, my batch is graduating, and so there aren't many people to spread the word about this project. It's finally the time to actually say goodbye to this project.
I leased a dedicated server two years ago, and I am finally saying goodbye to that too (can't afford to keep it live anymore). And seriously, it feels sad to shut this machine down haha, I've had so much fun playing around with the configurations (even though it was a production server).
It's clear that this downsizing will continue and I will be closing the service in the near future.4 -
My first interview ever for an internship. The interviewer asked me to rate myself in this language from 1 to 10 as if I'm applying for a lead engineer position at Google. I replied with a number that I thought was appropriate at the time (but now I know it wasn't accurate). The interviewer didn't say anything and moved to the next question. Later, I found out he ranted about my answer on his Twitter, again as if it's expected from an applicant intern at a low tier company to know. Still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth 7 years later.8
-
So my wife got laid off from her job aaaaaaand that puts me back again in the hunt for freelance bs to cover up her income until she finds something decent........dis is gon suck bad man.....6
-
Just wanna to share my story:
I just quit my job 2 months ago to ramp up my own startup. I will be funded with 2k Euro per month for 1 year to prepare the founding of my startup. Basicly that means i got one year to build backend/frontend/app. I have a friend that is doing some nontech related stuff like business development and shit. Sounds good until now i guess.
But:
Developing all that stuff in a one man show as a junior-like developer is really hard. I did not find another dev who wanted to join me as a sideproject or something.
Do you guys think thats even possible to ramp up all this by myself or am i to optimistic? I mean, i learn a lot atm, but i am a bit scared to fail too.
That should not be whining or shit, just gathering some input of you guys.
(excuse typos and stuff as i am not a native speaker :) )17 -
So in my 6 ppl dev team management had to do cuts and pulled a jira report of story points sum of the past 10 months, it went like this:
1. 307
2. 307
3. 283
4. 274
5. 257
6. 220
The 6. Guy is a teamlead so he was safe. 4 and 5 guys were fired with zero notice and 1 weeks severance pay (we are contractors).
Best part is that remaining 2. And 3. devs produce very low quality code. But hey, they have enough story points. Managament didnt even bother to discuss with teamlead about who to keep. Workload is the same, we were told to "level up".
You can't make this shit up. US based startups man.11 -
This begs for a rant... [too bad I can't post actual screenshots :/ ]
Me: He k8s team! We're having trouble with our k8s cluster. After scaling up and running h/c and Sanity tests environment was confirmed as Healthy and Stable. But once we'd started our load tests k8s cluster went out for a walk: most of the replicas got stoped and restarted and I cannot find in events' log WHY that happened. Could you please have a look?
k8s team [india]: Hello, thank you for reaching out to k8s support. We will check and let you know.
Me: Oh, you're welcome! I'll be just sitting here quietly and eagerly waiting for your reply. TIA! :slightly_smiling_face:
<5 minutes later>
k8s team India: Hi. Could you give me a list of replicas that were failing?
Me: I gave you a Grafana link with a timeframe filter. Look there -- almost all apps show instability at k8s layer. For instance APP_1 and APP_2 were OK. But APP_3, APP_4 and APP_5 were crashing all over the place
k8s team India: ok I will check.
<My shift has ended. k8s team works in different timezone. I've opened up Slack this morning>
k8s team India: HI. APP_1 and APP_2 are fine. I don't even see any errors from logs, no restarts. All response codes are 200.
Me: 🤦♂️ .... Man, isn't that what I've said? ... 🤦♂️5 -
I just remembered something I did like freshman year of high school lol
So our school system had just adopted a new site blocking program. It did even better than the one we had used before it.
Literally every good site to play games was blocked, and it really pissed me the fuck off. I had an easy class that was in a lab, and I finished my work early literally everyday, so I played the games to kill time.
Finally I got fucking fed up, and I made a site using weebly where I put the games I wanted to play on it. This way I was in control of it, and I had all the game files on a flash drive, so if it got blocked, I could just keep making new ones.
It actually got to the point that after a week, a few of my friends were using the site daily as well, and they kept asking for games to be put on it.
Simpler times man, simpler times.2 -
*The Fearless Leader*
I get a call to check up on a robot that has been exceeding weight limits at certain points of its movement (Crashing). As I get to the pendant (robo-game controller thingy I like to call it) and look over the alerts and warnings I notice some oil around the main power box of the Robot.... Nothing around this has oil.. so I start looking around and it turns out that the issue wasn’t a crash at all! It was an oily shorted out wire that kept sparking mad heavy when that servo was called on.. causing a large servo failure that required a full restart of the power box. I called our fearless leader and showed him only to find out that there was a motor leaking oil from the electrical end... My fearless leader runs both the Maintenance and Robotics department. When the motor was eventually fixed we overheard the technicians say that our fearless leader knew about this a week ago and decided to leave it that way.... with oil... coming out of an electrical cable..... *sigh* well Anyway after all the wires were fixed and motors changed. He comes up to me and says that he can’t believe that I didn’t call maintenance and fill a report on negligence of technicians for failing preventative maintenance....
I lost my cool a little, firstly that’s not my job, I’m literally one of the lowest ranking here. I called my next in command to figure out what I should do. Secondly the technicians told me that you told them to leave it like that! So if this place caught on fire this would have been on you!
Later I found out that he was trying to fire a technician and wanted me to do the dirty work.. I’m not going to be the reason another man loses the means for him to feed his family. The technician is a pretty cool and fair guy too!
Our fearless leader was a forklift driver and has no experience in robotics or maintenance... I don’t know how this happens or even why but all I know is this man is running both departments to the ground and management loves him.....1 -
!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.
Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...
A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.
A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....
game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡
Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant1 -
I just started work school doing IT administration and development, I was excited, almost nervously anticipating to see the wondrous things I'd being learning and the kickass programs I'd be creating...
Alas I walked into my first lesson and...
Teacher: Today we're going to be learning how to make a square in Excel using VBR.
I thought, well fuck no - I didn't sign up for this shit. Then today I was on this thing called the internet, have you guys tried it? Amazing stuff, I saw a panda dressed as Chuck Norris... Anyway, I was on the internet and found out about this 73 year old man who makes full-sized artworks made in Excel.
Now I know the meaning to life, to Excel programming... It's official, I'm going to make Picasso in Excel.
*Light sarcasm, actual true story.*2 -
One of those days when i feel like complete shit and wish i hadn’t woken up.
I heard back from an interview i did last week (one of the faang type) and the recruiter started with “You didn’t impress any of your interviewers”. Man that hurt. I can’t unhear that. He went ahead to say they all recommended a mid-level role for me (they apparently said i had potential and could easily grow into a senior eng) instead of the senior lead i applied for. This is also subject to getting approval to hire mid-level engineers because the team needs more people but they only got approval to hire senior engineers. This cunt also added “dont worry about it. Just go about your usual business and i’ll call you next week if we have gotten the approval”. Ass! All i can do is worry because that is what i do best.
I think i am more sad and disappointed in myself because i thought the interviews went well. Wrote decent code and came up with good solutions on time. Had a good conversation with interviewers. Apparently for a senior, you cannot make mistakes which i did but once the interviewer gave me a clue, i got back on track.
Anyway, i slept with this anxiety, then woke up with tummy ache. On the drive out this morning to go to the bank, i drove my car into a pole and broke off my side mirror. Then my fucking power generator stopped working. And on my way to go and get my fixed mirror from the mechanic, my exhaust pipe broke in half due to a possible pothole i drove into.
Those fucking days where all that could go wrong goes wrong. My head is fucking pounding i can barely move my head without wincing. I am running out of money fast (i support my entire family) and i am worried about not getting a job. This blow to my confidence makes me feel worthless like i am not good for anything. Recruiter suggested i do another senior engineer interview for a different team which i passed the test for but i know the outcome would most likely be the same and i wanted the first team really bad. I just want to lie in bed and cry all day but this fucking headache won’t let me. -
First day of the academic year(CS):
(some uni official) - "And remember to become a good programmer you have to become an excellent mathematician first"
(Me): Oh shit.
Little did I know...
It is a second year now. And the only course I failed is the one that he lectured.
I had no fucking idea that people like this (mad)man exist.
Almost at every lecture he was introducing at leas one topic that was way beyond our program; as he thought they were interesting and "fun".
Many teachers at the University refered to him as a very 'ambitious' man. Then I didn't blame him he truly loved his profession and wanted to share as much knowledge as possible(I thought).
But two months ago he went to far. It was a second exam(for those who failed the first one). And believe me there were a few(60 out of 160 to be exact).
Only ~30 people showed up as the rest failed to many courses and would be kicked out of the uni anyway.
He was handing out the exams when I saw that whoever gets one slowly starts turning white.
I finally got my copy and immediately I realized that the tasks are from his favorite topics, the "fun" ones. 🤦
At this point I knew that it will be extremely hard to pass. But when I was reevaluating my life choices something draw my attention.
One of the tasks had a note below it: "Homework after the exam: It is a very interesting problem just assume x instead of y and try to solve it. PS: it is a lot of fun!"
At this point I lost it.😠 I don't care how much you love math, you should always assume that not everyone loves it as much as you do. So don't push it down the throat of people who clearly don't need a degree in this subject!
Now I'm preparing for the second semester with this guy. And I have a strong feeling that it will be hell of a ride... again.😐
BTW: Sorry that the rant is so long, it's the first one I wrote, and had to share it with someone 😀18 -
!dev
I'm a very patient and calm person when it comes to coding or social events and the only thing that "triggers" me is accuracy.
You've made plans to have a small reunion and with people, you hardly meet, once or twice in a year and yet you somehow fail to show at 11:00 am in the morning which was already planned.
Now it's time to call each of you and hear out your ridiculous explanation of how you stayed up late watching Instagram videos of cute kittens and fell asleep late.
> "Oh I just woke up, I'll be there directly there in an hour, I know I promised we'll go together, but I have this thing to deal with"
> "Hey, do you know who reached till there? Are you there yet? What's the plan?" - Bitch the plan was to be there by 11 AM, 11 FUCKING AM.
> "Heyyyy, just woke up, give me an hour I'll pick you up"
Seriously this makes me sad and disappointed because I'm a man of the time. Sometimes I think they do this just to test my patience.
There is not enough time, there never was, there never will be.
With that being said my holiday is ruined and what's up with you?
> inb4 don't let others ruin your holiday10 -
Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.
Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..
I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...
Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...
Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...
Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....
Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.
I am going to get drunk now.
X1 -
Well, everytime I build a pc for a friend I'll always end up telling myself "this is the last time". Not bc I have a problem with building pc's, I love it, but its the "free of charge" 24/7 IT-support my non techy (techii?) friends expects from me after the build is done I hate.
So here's the deal.
A week ago I built a brand new pc for a friend, as usual (bc he's a good friend) I told him that my "fee" would be a couple of beers and the train ticket up. So I got there, built the pc and we hooked it up to his monitor. About 5sec in to windows the screen went black. My friend started to panic, and I started to check if all the components and cables were hooked up right (tho I've done this a couple of times, shit can happen) but found nothing was wrong.
I had to take the train home, cause it got late AF and I live in another city, but I told him to try another cable. Felt bad AF for not being able to help him.
Flash forward 2 days, my friend started messaging me late in the evening, complaining about how he had tried everything and ultimately had to leave the pc at an (as he called it) "proffesional" who charged him 100$.
I felt even guiltier about that one, asked him if he tried to change the hdmi, but he said that's in The hands of this guy now.
Two days later this PC God gave him an answer.
Guess What he told him?
CHANGE THE ***** HDMI CABLE.
Well, shit..
Afterwards he wanted help installing drivers over fb-messenger.
I love my friends, but man why do I do this to myself.3 -
I have a friend that every 2 days posts stories of her being in a club or something similar, dressed up and make up everywhere, with lots of drinks and shit like that. Girl has 0 skills and is living on the money that her dead parent left her. Honestly, shit looks fucking exhausting.
I hate clubs and being out with people. I do love drinking and having a good time... but every 2 days for it to be something? man I already feel tired and it ain't even my life.20 -
Sooooo I am not a fanboy. I do have my reservations when it comes to technology and whatever, but I live and let live and normally don't shit on stuff as long as it does not affect me or has any reasonable opportunity to affect others.
But my lead developer does, highly opinionated dude for a lot of shit (he ain't really my lead dev anymore in the sense of him being over me, i actually got promoted to a different department but have to continue working with him) and as such we sometimes go on some huuuuge rants regarding tech. With me, shit is simple man, you tell me you like something and I'll dig it, even if i don't necessarily dig it....i am pretty chill like that...ya dig?
Well the other day he was talking about how tvs like mine were too small for him, mine is a 55 inch, i don't think its small, it doesn't inconvenience me in any way really. But to his royal blindness shit is small.
I mentioned that I watch most of my shit lying down on my ipad pro, to were he starts talking massive amounts of shit about apple.
Now, as a previously hired and annoyed mobile developer, ios has a special place in my heart in which my only complaint about the platform was how xcode would fuck up from time to time. The languages were glorious(Obj C and swift) the cocoa apis were amazing(between ios and mac desktop....oooh la la) and the care that the apple store takes in not letting every other add infested garbage app to play a part in their store, the gloriousness of having your data secured as well as havinf applications compiled into the actual fucking operating system REALLY TOUCHES HOME WITH ME. ITS COOL IF IT AIN'T YOU, I AM TALKING ABOUT ME.
Oh. And ipads are smooth as fuck. This was something that I had to mention when he said that anything that I could do with my 1000+ dllr ipad could be done with his samsung table. Normally, I would be like "cool man" but diz doode insisted on making an android vs ios argument.
He insisted on me trying on his tablet. Boy it was the jankiest, laggiest shit I had laid hands on.......just like any other underpowered Android device. Don't get me wrong, my s9 works fucking amazing, but why in the name of heavens would you make an argument against a tablet whilst simultaneously using a piece of shit that doesn't even work properly? Are people really that delusional in their arguments that they would really be that wrong while still insisting on being right?12 -
Have u ever had the perfect job opportunity and u screwed up? This idiot just did!! 😓😭 It's a 100% remote c# role. I literally had the job, all I needed to to was be patient and wait. But, noooooo I had to go and turn down the offer because it was "taking to long". He was getting the proposal ready and I was growing impatient. It's been almost a month since I started talking to the CTO and we were/are on the same level of understanding. He told me today just hours after I consulted with someone who's a business owner and he helped me write an apology to him. Man do I feel like an idiot. He didn't ask for a resume or references. Just seen my GitHub and a few game I did and let me talk to the lead Dev and I was in. The lead Dev even told me "welcome aboard, can't wait to work with you." AND I still screwed this op up!! Now he's telling me he will talk to the CEO and see what he says cause it maybe out of his hands.😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😓😓😓 What fool I am, eh??? P.S. which makes it even worst is that he reached out to me via LinkedIn without me sending him my resume or applying for any job that had posted.17
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Fuck people who say they want to learn to code and then make 0 effort. You try to help them, find them resources, hold their hand, offer to mentor, come up with projects and they still do nothing. A grown ass man who says he wants to be a developer and get would rather play vampire survivors than open a web browser and learn anything. Why do you waste my time?8
-
What I say:
Ah shit man! Spring break! Finally gonna be able to continue working on my personal project. Study, catch up with some books and tv shows while continuing to code!
What my wife hears:
Oh cool! Now I have someone to drive all around town getting me useless shit that I don't need while I am at work!!!
-_____________________________- -
So, a few months back my mother had some issues with her windows 10 box not being able to do proper backups to a backup partition. At the same time I was pulling insane hours at work and writing on a eBook on commission for a guy, besides having small kids with on and off flu and shit.
Needless to say, I didn't have time to look at the backup issues. Well, even though my mom is one of those dogs you can't teach new tricks, she has always been resourceful enough to get help with things.
This time she picked up the phone and called Microsoft Support, got some guys to remote in and take a look. They messed around a bit and said they were done.
She phoned me up later that day to tell me how proud she was of herself for doing that. Of course, she skipped telling me the important bit about she actually calling them, rather describing it as "Microsoft was just on my computer and fixed it".
You can imagine my immediate reaction, cold sweat running down my back, adrenalin rushing in as I dug through the details of what had happened.
A few days later she calls me up again and tells me the problem is back, and we agree that even though the MS dudes was not able to fix it at first, she should try again, as she had a ticket to reference.
The next attempt by MS actually fried her partitions, and apparently they had f-ed up trying to delete and recreate the backup partition.
That's not the worst of it though. Since they fried her disk, her computer crashed and naturally the remoting won't work. In our country, they have no people on the ground to do hands on help, and they didn't have a partner near by. Her not having a win 10 usb stick, nor a spare computer to make one, she was in a surreal predicament.
She was also quite pissed, and pissed off mums are not to be messed with. She managed to get Microsoft to agree to cover the costs of a non-partner to visit her to fix the problems, and using her as the middle man, they made an agreement with the 3rd-party tech support company.
After the box was fixed though, some more issues arose... regarding billing. The 3rd-party tech support was unable to get in contact with the person at MS that was going to sign off on the bill, and again using my mom as the middle man, it was agreed that my mom, as the customer, was to be reimbursed for the bill to the 3rd-party.
Guess what... 3 months went by, with weekly follow-ups and nagging from my mom, and still no money...
At this time, I had time to help her, and after some digging and borderline stalking, we managed to get the phone numbers of some of the higher ups in my country, and she started calling them directly.
After talking to a couple who refused to help, she reached the Vice President of the country branch, and was finally able to talk to someone who gave a shit.
Still took over a month more to actually get the money, but now she had someone who actually gave her statuses, receipts and ETAs.
FUCK!2 -
I like like my boss and my coworkers and the place I work but for the love of goat cheese this org has the attention span of a toddler on meth.
Seriously, it's like this is your #1 priority, next week, wait we have a different emergency you have a new super critical urgent thing, then "hey team Y has a vendor coming in next month to integrate these two pieces and they need you to have half of it wired up by then so make sure you get that done." Like SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY
HERE"S SOME LIFE ADVICE IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU PLAN OR SCHEDULE OR PRIORITIZE IF YOU END UP CHANGING ALL OF IT EVERY WEEK!
It's like painting a mural of a field, and then 10 minutes in you decide you'd rather paint a space ship, then you realize you don't like the space ship so instead you decide to change your painting to Elvis with a mullet, and you keep doing this. The end result is not beauty it's the mad deranged scribbles of a man past the point of sanity.
But for the love of Haliburton if they ask me why X or Y wasn't done I'll probably end up going full BOFH on somebody.3 -
Common Lisp code has (imo) one of the cleanest syntax possible in programming language. I really would like for Lisp dialects other than Clojure to make a heavy comeback. And we now hace Quicklisp which is a package repo for CL code.
I really want to see more people into Lisp, it really is a great language man you just need to get past the (()) and it makes sense I promise.
Guys please try CL. If you already have awesome code skills and have some free time try going throughe the gigamonkeys book. Completely free online and setting up an Emacs environment with SBCL or CLISP is a breeze. I use Lisp to experiment and it gives a lot of room for exploring new concepts.
Another cool language that is emerging is Smalltalk in the form of Pharo. If you have been casting asside OOP because of the way many mainstream languages do it then maybe you will like Smalltalk as a pure OOP form.
I just want more people in this shit and this community sure has some awesome programmers, so why not?
one of the leading dudes in CL is currently Eitaro Fukamachi, one dude...doing amazing things. My aim is to give him a hand.8 -
So, I'm stuck...
I'm very passionate about technology. Coding and development and soldering together some raspberry pi or arduino project gets me all swept up in a false sense of belonging & sense of purpose. It's just always been my biggest passion...
As well as it has simultaneously been an elusive dream, driven away by circumstances and some pretty shitty decision making on my end... But, it's always a recurring theme and source of illumination through some dark moments... Abandonment of my dreams isn't an option.... I spent 10+ years on heroin and somehow still have the ability to dredge up some hope, surely I can finally get my foot/hand/ball sack in the door of my dreams... right??
Anyways, to sum up my ability in regard to technology/coding etc.... I'm a highly motivated and passionate Beginner-intermediate level tech enthusiast with a little html, css, Java, markdown/git know how, advanced soldering/PC building ability... With a high need to remain studious and get my ass balls deep in some computuh' learnin' circles.
In all seriousness, I really would like to be graciously provided with some communities and groups of folks that would assist me upon my path, and possibly ways I could slide into some sort of tech based career/job while amassing my IT abilities.
I am willing, but incapable of starting off in the right direction & in need of some guidance to firmly trod on towards my goals...
PS: I'm totally not a 32 year old man desperately in need of some guidance and reassurance... cause that'd make me some kinda loser or something... pfffft... I won't be 32 until 06/08.... so all is well and good 👍
Thanks in advance peeps. Later!17 -
Humph. Just remembered something pretty cool. Last year I had a great math teacher and tech teacher. My class on the other hand: not great except my friends. We were being taught c++ in tech class and man were these kids the laziest i've ever seen. Just creeping up behind me and copying the code. Tech teacher walks up and opens up stack overflow on the kid's pc and walks away. Later during math class our teacher overhears kids talking about pokemon go. She then gets really excited and talks about how fun ar is to code and asks if any of the kids need c++ help. Turns out she had quit a dev position to become a teacher and give back to the community. She left halfway through the schoolyear because she was pregnant though. Needless to say most of my class caught the coding bug and it was thanks to both those teachers. The math teacher came back at the beginning of the year but then I moved back to the USA.
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It’s perfect that this week’s topic is “Most awkward video meeting” because I just had two.
The first one was to demonstrate a software process. I had everything lined up and perfectly (or so I thought) ready to demo, kind of like a cooking show. Except the deployment totally failed. I’m still struggling to figure out why several hours later. Luckily I’m getting a second shot at it soon and they weren’t mad.
Then I went and took a shower. Checking out my eyebrows in the mirror, I decided they were getting overgrown, so I took out a trimmer with a guard on it to thin them out a little. Except for some STUPID and INEXPLICABLE reason I TOOK THE GUARD OFF right before I shaved off the right eyebrow almost to the skin! I couldn’t believe it. It was like my brain sabotaged me knowing I had an important video call coming up where I might be making a ton of money if all went well.
What the hell was wrong with me?! What could I do?! I stood there cursing my existence and making plans to become a hermit in the desert. Well, I couldn’t do that. And I still had a video call in a few minutes. I couldn’t just leave one eyebrow unshaven. So, I did the only thing I could do. I cropped the left one and tried to make it match as much as possible.
It wasn’t terrible, but it was definitely noticeable on HD video and certainly up close and in person when my wife and kids returned home soon. I started panicking and wondering just how I could literally save face after idiotically mutilating my face for all to see.
Then, I got an idea.
Now, I’m a manly man. At least, I consider myself to be. I don’t shave my eyebrows for any kind of metrosexual caché. I do it because if I don’t the grease from my face that gets into my brows eventually transfers to my glasses and then I get annoyed by all the smudges. As a dad who was never comfortable when my girls wanted to put makeup on me, I suddenly became aware that their massive trove of makeup “stuff” might just save my bacon!
So, I snuck into their bathroom and, lo and behold, the exact right shade of color for my missing brow brooms was sitting right on the counter. I dabbed a little on each finger tip and carefully (oh so carefully) tinted the area mangled by my apparent dementia.
It was actually pretty amazing how it all turned out. Even on HD video it was undetectable. And when the true test occurred…i.e. my wife and kids returned home and I had to talk to them face-to-face, absolutely NO ONE was any the wiser!
Now I gotta figure out how to keep up this charade for at least a week, maybe two. I hope they don’t put that makeup tray away somewhere where I can’t…oh, wait, they never put anything away. I’m good.3 -
Joined this new team which said to have a rockstar teamlead with his right hand rockstar drummer senior dev. Turns out its just 2 socially awkward dudes who come into office once a week and all they care about is doing their own tasks and calling it a day.
The rockstar senior teamlead actually turns out to be an ex QA guy whos doing development only for the past 2 years and is unable yo explain what his code is doing and just starts rambling. I didnt expected spoon-feeding type of mentoring but man calling them and trying to get some advices makes me wanna die everytime. Fuck. My. Life.
I took matters into my own hands, Im doing pretty well actually and already am delivering, but man, if they dont give me a raise after probation ends then fuck this Im outta here. This is not what I signed up for.
These fuckers are pretentious egomaniacs who look good in their linkedin page but in reality are selfish narcissists.12 -
my staff got selected to go do something RETARDED on site when all restrictions on the city have been lifted and the fucking numbers of covid-19 cases have been rising, last week 4 people fucking DIED and they wanted to put my guys for some RETARDED SHIT THAT can be completely ignored in which they would deal with countless of RETARDS that as I know will probably be ignoring all safety precautions and getting everyone fucking SICK.
I don't give a fuck, my employees are high risk personell, if they get sick they might fucking die, I said no to fucking everyone and had the head of my department to back me up. Fuck this shit man I am so tired of this pandemic since it had made everyone 10 billion percent-o more retarded than they already were.
If the head of department ignores it I will instruct my people to just ignore that shit and don't make themselves present at that bullshit ass fucking event.
See what the fuck they do. I treat my employees as if they were my soldiers, I know what leadership is and they are not making me fucking budge, if your command is bullshit i will fucking say no and you can go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want with that shit, just based on my title and experience I can go where the fuck I want and you will eat dick.
Luckily for me the HOD is on the same boat, he thinks this shit is fucking stupid.4 -
Fuck people that do not show up on Mondays because"they're sick".
Thanks for extra workload of two more people on top of my already two-man job.7 -
Background: I'm in middle school, and two popular games that people liked got blocked. My friend and I made a website with the blocked games on a free 000webhost subdomain. It was a crappy, twenty minute website that I made with just a view counter, the games, and a chat room for people looking for other people to play with.
Story: one day I opened up the chat room where another friend and I were gonna talk about our teacher behind her back. I opened the chat room, and in the previous chat text, there was a line that said "Username: " and a text box. Then, about five lines, each with two text boxes separated by a ":". I knew that it could've been my friend that "made" the site with me (he designed the logo and occasionally modified the HTML), but I suspected not. He wasn't smart enough. Now when I was building the chat room, I internationally didn't put in XSS protection, just to see if someone would catch onto it, and, to my surprise, someone obviously did. Now there's someone in my school, who could be just like me, but I don't know where. Man, I really wanna find him (or her)! Of course, it could be my teachers, who are messing with it and could be trying to get it blocked -_-1 -
About to start coding my first complete website. Oh boy. Everything I learn up until this point. Just basic HTML is all about to be put to the test. Lol. Grant it. It's not for a client. Just school assignments but man I'm nervous.😂😂🤷♂️
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!devRelated
I personally think that one of the worst things a person can be is a bad driver.
I really hate the driving culture in my city.
This ain't some third world country with no roads and no traffic signs or regulations. We have very very nice roads. Good traffic systems in place. Decent driving speeds and people STILL manage to fuck shit up.
Not one fucking day do I get in my truck without wanting to murdee someone.
I flipped off about 3 people today. One of them started to scream at me. I told the bitch ass motherfucker to do something about it. I was really hoping a motherfucker would.
I really hate these fucking people.
My fucking city is the reason why Trump supporters get off on hating mexicans. How the fuck can I blame them if when driving through such fucking city damn near every fucker on a vehicle drives with 0 regard for others.
Fuck this bullshit man. This is fucking Texas. I have yet to see nicer fucking roads, no fucking excuse really.
I am going to kill someone one of these days. And I will aim poorly...see if that shit hurts more.5 -
This is why I hate Windows:
For about a month now, I've been learning/working on salesforce, so my Macbook was enough for me.
Today there was a bug in something I built in iur Python backend, and since it has a dependency on windows, I booted the old guy up.
And this is what I see. For about 1.5 hours this went on.
Then it started, but system consuming 100% disk and 80+% CPU. Can't do a thing.
And when zoom finally opened (for a quick meet), the camera turned on halfway down the meeting, and then the system restarted on it's own.
Old man showing that same screen again for more than 30 minutes.
Since I have dual boot on this one, I hard-shutdown it using power button, and now boot into ubuntu 20. This works so beautifully (although it froze for about 5 seconds before popping up the updates panel, something I CHOSE to keep enabled). I try going back to Windows, and it's hell again.
Here I am now trying to set up a ec2 instance and setup the app source there so that I can debug with RDP.
And yeah, Component Object Model is a motherfucking bitch. Person who invented it should die. People who build apps leveraging this should die. Business leaders who say "Hey this app (built with COM) can solve the problem easily, so use this" should die choking on their own phallus. And developers like me who keep using this because "the last guy did this" should die too.
Microsoft and it's products are the death of sane people.
Fucking Gates. Its the same damn hardware.13 -
Start-up I'm working for as a front-end dev is pretty nice. I have good hardware, free coffee and my coworkers are all decent people. My boss is chill, and I have flexible work hours.
There is this one policy for writing code, however. And I simply cannot understand it, nor can I ignore it because of code reviews: no comments in production code.
I mean, what? Why? Comments are nice, and they make life easier for the future maintainers. At least let me put a small two-liner explaining why I did stuff this or that way. But no, I only get to explain it verbally (once) to the person reviewing my PR. Why, man?9 -
I recently started using Linux on my desktop.
I just love how when I see some minor thing I don't like about the operating system I can just change it myself!
Want to remove the menu icon? Simple change to the settings. Want your downloads folder to be clean? Simple cron job which asks you if you want to clean your downloads folder every day.
Man I love having the freedom to screw up my operating system!9 -
This would be my first official post.
Been a IT Technician for a managed service provider for the past 9 years up until last year August. Managing director pulls me in with a movement to App Development after coming across some personal hobby projects I have done in the past.
Started in the new position in November as Junior Developer and workloads get dumped on me and left to figure it out. 4 weeks of running through code without documentation and the solutions started to make sense.
Started a new solution for a Large remote customer with documentation and timelines in December and I get pulled in again for a second time in front of the MD.
Good News:With effect in January I have been promoted to Head of Application development.
Bad News: The existing department head is leaving end of the month and I am to go 900km from home to hand over all responsibilities for the next 3 weeks.
Better News: Department has started shifting to DevOps and it is up to me to set the policies and work flows to how I see fit.
Worse news: it starts by expanding the team asap as 10 projects accounting to 4000 man hours with deadlines in Q3.
Wish me luck. It's going to be twisted Rollercoaster ride...4 -
Damn Google.
"hey my company I like diversity, and agree with our goal but think we are punishing people for voicing an opinion that we could accomplish our values of nondiscrimination using better methods"
Googles Response "we encourage diversity including diversity of opinions. All employees should be safe to talk about these things. Oh and FUCK you man you're fired we don't agree with you standing up and voicing a differing opinion"3 -
Boss wanted me to make changes in company's website which was based on wordpres s.
I knew it could be done by tweaking some JS code, but I have very less experience with wordpress
But wordpress is easy man(Internet told me).
Give me 5 minutes, you will see the changes in production.
Being lazy af I directly logged in to ftp, checked out some files, updated some code, I was good to go.
Before pushing it, I opened the website and it was GONE ٩(๑´0`๑)۶
Now there was no public_html in the root.
I was fucked. I have accidentally deleted the website that had no backup.
And the best part I was on leave from
next day.
I was looking everywhere for backups, looked into google cache to get the contents. I have to recreate the complete site now.
Just when I was asking questions on choice of my profession and simultaneously looking here and there in FTP for backups,
I found the jewel "public_html".
It happens out that I have accidentally moved the folder to some other directory.
Phewww.
Moved it back to root. Site was up and running.
Reassured myself that I deserve to be a dev.
Backed up complete site, made the changes.
Uploaded it.
And the best part, amount of wordpress I learned in those three hours was way more than I could have learnt in many weeks.
Lessons Learnt :
A) ALWAYS keep backups.
B) You SHOULD NOT make changes on prod directly
C) You become superhuman when your brain know you are going to be fucked 😂3 -
Soooo might turn into the lead developer of the web services of 2 fucking schools with the manpower of 2 for which one of us ain't even a developer all because HR put my lead developer in the hospital and he might be so fucking fed up that he may not come back to work.
Fuck
Human
Resources
Holy fuck man.....I was already a lead mobile developer before and i fucking hated every minute of it and the pay raise ain't even gonna be worth it for the ammount of shit that i am going to be required to do.
Fuck this, fingers crossed man I really want my boy to come back cuz I don't wanna deal with this bullshit.
I seriously never thought i would be in this position and by heavens i have been in some shit before.
Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Fingers crossed my boy gets better man fr.7 -
FUCKING FUCK ANGULAR!!!!
LIKE FUCK IT IN THE ARSE AND BURN THE MOTHERFUCKER WHILE LAUNCHING A MISSILE ON IT TO BE SURE!
(ノ≧∇≦)ノ ミ ┸━┸
So I am making something on angular and I got everything running in ng serve(development environment) , after handling all issues and showing it to my boss man he approves and asked to put it up on prod for a demo , doesn’t sound like an issue , I make the prod build on cli and BAM! 16 errors ? No issues right?, I’ll just google the issue. Googles.... there aren’t no clear solutions to it as the angular version keeps changing and nobody knows what broke it, I mean people have the issue,but like 100 reasons that can cause it,
HOLY LORD RELEASE A NEWER VERSION AFTER MENDING THE OLD ONE
But nooooooo!
Angular Dev:We fucked this one, lol what should we do boss man?
Angular boss man: lol just leave it, we need to build the new version with newer bugs,
P.S. I like angular, but it’s like a underdeveloped framework, too many issues and too many changes2 -
Hey Spectrum! It'd be pretty wicked if you could email me or shoot me a text the next time you decide to do maintenance that will result in service outages!
It's not that hard to shoot a text that says "Hey Stuxnet! We gonna be doing some maintenance, so ya internet's probably gonna be down for a bit. We'll get that shit up and running asap tho my man."2 -
Sorry I haven't been as active lately, however this is one of the better prompts, so I feel I should have it in my track record. Beware, it's a long one...
Let's trace the roots: My uncle was building desktops and he told my dad he'd build him one if my dad paid him for the components. These days I know builds aren't rocket science, but back then my parents didn't do their research. So my dad paid him.
Give or take some time, and most of the parts are complete. He underestimated the prices of a few things and had to ask for $200 more to complete the build. This...caused my dad to explode.
Later, I heard my dad ranting to my stepmom in January 2017 about how the last convo he had with his brother was a "Fuck-you conversation" - it was the last because my uncle had died in 2003.
Flash forward to March 2017. My mom and I are sitting in a Fazoli's, a nice sunset out of the full-length windows. I had to probe. HAD TO.
"You promise you won't tell your dad I told you this?" she asked.
"You know Kellie and I can't stand to be around him." I replied.
As the story goes, that last "Fuck-you conversation"? Over a fucking measly $200. Yup, the last conversation between my dad and his brother to ever happen was a shouting match over a relatively short amount of money. I wish I could say my dad had remorse, but he doesn't. He still talks shit. He's also technologically illiterate, so I doubt there was a way his brother was going to be able to reason with him.
In late 2003, my uncle, who had been a smoker, passed away due to cardiac arrest. The build was still not finished. This was one of the OTHER things that I have mixed feelings about.
After my uncle passed, my aunt paid someone to finish the build and get it shipped to my dad. We'll get back to why I feel this is fucked up, stay tuned...
---------
It's Spring 2004. I'm in the last half of what I think is Kindergarten or some shit...too lazy to do the math. Anyway, my dad announces we have a family computer - however, I couldn't read yet. That didn't stop the waste of oxygen that is my father from going in the Windows XP screensavers and putting text in that said "GAGE MORGAN WILL NOT TOUCH THIS COMPUTER." He's such a fuckin' dick, now AND back then.
My mom had an issue with this. I don't know why, but she did. Later, I was slowly taught how to use the mouse, under heavy supervision. Then I went to my grandma's house. She taught me one very specific thing on her old Win98 (386, maybe? IDK my old hw shit man), and because I know you guys are gonna love this one:
"The blue "e" opens up your games!"
The blue "e" does not open up your games, it opens something that can lead to your games.
I went home and tried this...without permission. My dad came down and discovered my lollygagging on the homepage - this is fucking weird. It was before Nextel, IIRC, so Sprint's logo was red still. Yes, we had broadband from Sprint. I don't know what saga led to that going the way of the dodo, but...
Back on track, I literally got my pants pulled down and had my bare bottom beat. He was gonna drag my ass upstairs and lock me in my room, but before he could, he accidentally slammed MY FUCKING RIGHT TEMPLE into the corner of a hardwood table at the bottom of the staircase.
The wailing that resulted probably was different than the previous form, which is probably what got my mom involved. My dad had a way of going too far, and in retrospect I'm more terrified now of what could've happened than I was then.
Later, I was given access to games in the form of my own account and bookmarks bar. That wasn't the end of the madness/drama from my use of that machine, but it was the earliest form.
Ever since Kindergarten, that one fateful day, I've been defying any/all imposed limitations on tech set on me by my parents...well, not anymore, but literally grades K-12. I'm living on my own, aka "adulting" now. It sucks more than you think, man.
---------
Let's tie this up before I reach the limit. I said I thought it was fucked up when my aunt paid to have the build finished and shipped to us after my uncle's death.
Yes, my aunt's intervention led to me ultimately majoring in computer science.
That doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't have done it.
My dad was an asshole to her husband, who passed. She is ultimately too caring. I don't think my jackass father should've been able to get by with that, he didn't deserve the freebie. Someone else should've told him his brother did in fact need that $200.
I haven't seen her IRL since the funeral when my grandpa passed in 2005. 2006 spelled the end of my parents' marriage.
Hope you guys enjoyed this - it's only a small segment of how I got to where I am now - tiny, actually.2 -
Man, contributing to open source projects seems very intimidating to me.
I have never contributed to one of those repos on Github with a shit-ton of stars and a load of watchers. Made up my mind to start sometime around the start of September. Looked up a repo that I was very excited to contribute to. Went through their really large codebase, tried to understand as much as I could (They have a fair amount of documentation, but I just can't understand a lot of design decisions that were taken). Looked up one of the open issues marked for newbies, went through the relevant code to understand where and how I would have to make my changes in the code, and was about to start... when a seasoned contributor submitted a pull request.
This same occurrence has repeated itself 3 times now. If you mark an issue for beginners, maybe let the beginners handle them? Also, if you plan to contribute to an issue, why not announce your intention to do so? Get the issue assigned to you, so no one else ends up wasting their time coming up with a solution.
I would love to recommend this to the contributing team, but I am just way too scared to initiate a conversation with these guys. I mean, they are way more experienced and knowledgeable than me (some of them are even famous!).
I am definitely out of my depth with this project, and maybe should look for an easier one, but I really want to rise up to the challenge. Guess I'll stick around then, just waiting for my chance. :|3 -
Man....I keep up with this strange love hate relationship I have with Python....
Last night it was python that literally wrote my homework: define all possible equivalent partition tables with cause and effect analysis and boundary value checks for a program. The whole thing wrote itself and all I had to do was verify the inputs. Something that I was able to do using jupyter with pandas and numpy. On one hand, I despise the lack of static typing and use of whitespace as a block delimiter. On the other I cannot but help feeling a high level of gratitude over the language and its high availability and ease of use for this.
Sure, I could have used other tools, but this language has dominated hardcore in this regard enough to the point of not considering it being a crime against humanity.3 -
Oh man, I fucked up...
I was doing after hours work for client, setup website with https.
Can't work over sftp with current user,so I give it the same user ID as apache, get files transferred and shit.
Go back to change uid, set wrong uid, now my user is ntp, I can't get into root, can't set password...
I fucked up
Tail between the legs, sent email to clients support, asking them to fix my user fuck up, waiting for reply -
Can someone help me settle an argument with a coworker?
So let's say there is a REST interface that returns a PDF representation of an resource...but it requires the authorization header in order to authorize that you have access to the document in question.
And let's say there is a link on the page that redirects to this endpoint to serve up the document. He thinks you can add a header to the HTTP request that goes out when you click on the link (a regular old anchor tag) with onclick without making an xhr call.
I told him that you would have to use an xhr call to add headers, and that even then you would receive a byte stream back, which without using a blob and an object url or a data uri you wouldn't be able to display it in a new tab or start a download.
Regardless he went on to tell me I was wrong. The next day he said he had done it. I asked him to show me, and he said "oh it's at home", and then proceeded to ridicule me in front of my architect. He always pulls this one up's man ship bullshit and I hate it. And I am pretty sure he's wrong.10 -
TL;DR The prodigal son returns.
A long time ago my partner in crime left the company. So I was a "one man army", until management gave me 2 newbies to train. We'll call them X and Y.
X was new to the company, while Y was moved from a different area. During the time I was training them I realized which of the two had potential, or at least was paying attention.
Some more time passed and X was showing signs of being a good candidate to join the team. Y, on the other hand, well there were stories from his previous team. Not good.
Guess who was added to my team. It wouldn't be a rant if it was the capable one. Y was added to my team, while X was sent to a completely different area.
Time passed and I suffered many misfortunes. But this week, I saw him sitting next to my desk, X is back. I'll probably have to get him up to speed, but my little prodigy is back! -
I finally got my github up.
You all can look at my terrible code, which is just glorified snippets. I don't mind.
Left out probably 98% of all the code larger than 10 lines because of jank, throwaways, and how poorly I documented it. Basically throwing shit on a wall.
I also left of the "maaaaaaths!" code because its already super convoluted and strictly a one-man thing. Likewise the web scrapers (barely documented and custom per site), and ML scripts.
https://github.com/YIntercept2
Did you know I once had an immediate rejection in the middle of a zoom interview, because the interviewer asked me "so whats your favorite browser", and I made a pretty obvious joke about using internet explorer.
That guy had no chill whatsoever. Fun times.11 -
INTERVIEW. It tells everything about the company. I recently applied for a "big" company for the position of ML Engineer. The Job description was like "someone with good knowledge of visual recognition, deep learning, advanced ML stuff, etc." I thought great, I might be a good fit. A guy called me the next day. Introduced himself as a manager of the Data Science team with 8+ years of experience. Started the talk saying "it is just an informal intro". But things escalated very quickly. Started shooting Data Science questions. He was asking questions in a very bookish way. Tells me to recite formulas (like big formulas). When I explained to him a concept, he was not understanding anything. Wanted a very bookish answer. I quickly realized I know more about ML stuff than him (not a big deal) and he is arrogant as fuck (not accepting my answers). Plus, he has no knowledge about Deep Learning. At the very end, he tells me "man, you need to clear up your fundamentals". WTH??? My fundamentals. Okay, I am not Einstein or Hinton, but I know I was answering things correctly. I have read books and research papers and blogs and all. When I don't know about things, I tell straight away. I don't cook answers. So the "interview" ended. I searched that man on LinkedIn. Got to know he teaches college students Data Science and ML. For a fee of 50,000 INR. It's a big amount!! Considering the things he teaches. You can find the same stuff (with far higher quality) free of cost (on Coursera, Udacity, YouTube, free books, what not). He is a cheater. He is making fool of college students. That is why I sometimes hate "experience". 8+ years of exp and he is such an a**hole!! BTW, I thanked God for saving me from that company. Can't imagine such an arrogant boss.
TLDR: Be vigilant during interviews. It tells a lot about the company.4 -
Well just blew up a coding interview.
Got an offer to be a Drupal dev and was expecting questions on Drupal API and module dev but got asked how to find the closest Enemy in an array and blah blah blah.
Interesting question but man. My mind got blank and got nervous. It's been a while since I've done a question like that and I've been coding for 10+ years.
I would've love to solve that in another language such as Python or C++ but got stuck on PHP because it was a Drupal position. But I only use PHP for Drupal modules and templates who are highly dependant on Drupal API. Or even WordPress plugins. But I try to avoid WordPress because is shit.
Guess the job market hasn't changed since I graduated back in 2014. So I feel a little bummed down. But I guess I'll just have to practice those type of problems as well. At least the problem solving method.
At least it will be an excuse to do those leetcode problems.7 -
#justdevthings
That moment when you're so engrossed in your project that you lose track of time. You begin to SEE code irl, not just on screens. Things like hunger, environment and a sense of time fade away. That feeling when the code just works, but better when it doesn't and you figure out a smart fix. Oh gosh ill pay to feel like that all day.
I wrote a shitty layout for an android side project. It haunted me. I could still SEE the shitty xml long after the pc was shut down. I had a nightmare about it and woke up sweating, and all I could see was xml. Fkin xml man. I redid the layout at 3am and boy was i so satisfied.
I think that was just the tetrix effect taking its toll on me.
I always got screwed by parents for being on that machine all day, back in school. But none of that matters now. I can now feel the code running in my veins and flowing into the machine. I can now feel my heart throbbing at the sight of such beauty. They ask how i manage my social life. I say everything goes well until i start a side project, that's when social life gets fucked hard. I think I'm gonna die one day after performing the final commit.5 -
Best team experience?
Well, first I'd like to mention that after some more experience in the field since, I realize that this company had some pretty terrible management infrastructure...
Nonetheless, I think my best team experience had to have been during my first programming job because my project manager... WAS A FREAKING DEVELOPER! It wasn't his job to be a developer obviously, but we were a small team essentially developing waterfall style, and he had to pick up the slack now and then for certain issues. The man was a genius and everyone appreciated him because you could talk to him about anything dev related and he would get it. The rest of my team was also very chill too, so it was all in all just a fun experience, stressful as it may have been at times.
I have not since had such a diversified project manager 😟 but then again, not the PM's job to touch code...2 -
Well today I feel like shit so I called in sick. Found out the lead developer called in sick as well.
The thing is, there was something really important to be done today that he fucking new that if he was not to be there I was going to get shit from everyone. He is going through some shit right now and I get it, so I would normally cut him some slack.
But fuck man, at some point you got to man the fuck up and deal with your job, if anything do it for your fucking coworkers/friends. He fucking new that I was going to get a fuckload of bullshit over something that he takes care of.
Nevermind that there are only 2 fucking developers for the entire fucking campus(2 campuses actually) and we were told last friday that we were needed. Normally, one would put up with the bullshit and make a presence, but that one of us is always me. Today I said fuck it, its too cold, don't feel good and I don't want to take my daughter to the daycare.
Today I sit at home, go over my OS books, play Skyward Sword with my daughter, watch movies with her and I don't think about work for one second.
On another note, the reason why I need to go through my OS books is that a good portion of my masters degree(which I am to start on August) covers OS development, it seems that the entire curriculum will be C/C++ galore which makes me FUCKING STOKED! finally a break form web development that I can probably use to get me out of web development professionally as well.9 -
Man im so frustranted...
My story goes on...
Now my boss yells at me every day, since I told him that what he did to me is a crime and that hes to blame for my burn out...
On my limits...
Dreaming a wake that im beating him up...
What to do? If I make a formal complain the company will close (we work 15 hours more every week that the law allows, meaning huge fines for every of the 200s workers)
If I dont im going insane...
Doctor already warned me, if I get worst ill have a month vacation on the psiciatric wing...
What to do...
Im shaking so hard that I feel electricity in my legs...
What to do...9 -
ffs.
Got to the office in the morning. Boss says, ok we want to do a toast for one thing or the other. Got a nice glass of red wine. drank it. Nice wine. got back to my computer, and started to work. the boss man calls me back. I say whats up? he says, bottle of whiskey....
drunk coding is fun!5 -
I feel like I beat "the man"
Dunno if any of you guys have picked up on this, but the Microsoft Docs (for asp.net) are basically one big fucking jumbotron advertisement for IdentityServer
The very same IdentityServer who dropped their free, open-source project and turned into an -aaS
It really seems like MS is frothing at the fucking mouth to have you use IdentityServer and offers no real alternatives whatsoever besides something like Facebook or Twitter login.
But I did my studies
Read my articles
And implemented proper Jwt tokens with rolling refresh tokens.
Simpler, more efficient, and compromises nothing. And I didn't pass my money off to some company to do it for me.
Fuck you, Microsoft, and the IdentityHorse you were paid to ride in on.7 -
Someone asked "What's a sad reality for devs?"
Let me add one to that cuz I'm too lazy to find the actual thread.
A sad reality of devs is to be dependent on the management's mercy for them to be in the team/company. Your years of work can be thrown out the window just like that when management feels like it and there is almost nothing devs can do about it.
This sprung to mind cuz I experienced that today. My client cut my dev team in half to "make up for the recent losses the company faced". Obviously my team wasn't responsible for it.
This shit sucks man.1 -
Here's some of my favorite quotes from "The Mythical Man-Month":
"The bearing of a child takes nine months no matter how many women are assigned".
"The management question ... is not whether to build a pilot system and throw it away. You will do that. The only question is whether to plan in advance to build a throwaway, or to promise to deliver the throwaway to customers."
"I once knew a boss who invariably picked up the phone to give orders before the end of the first paragraph in a status report. That response is guaranteed to squelch full disclosure." -
I just set up SSHFS so I can play my media library on my TV without moving all my data!
Basically my setup is something like this:
*Gaming PC (with a total of 10TiB - 6TiB being used for my /home) located in my office
*Home Media PC (with total of 150GB) located in my living room
Everything I have is on my 6TB HDD, and just my Videos folder is larger than the hard drive in the Home Media PC, so I decided to set up SSHFS. After about 15 minutes of reading man pages and trying different configurations, I ended up just needing "sshfs -o nonempty -o allow_other [user]@[location]:/home/$USER/Videos /home/server/Videos/"
This is so great guys; I love Linux so much!3 -
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
I am 15 and just last month I told my client to stop breaching the contract and honor your word like a man over whatsapp. He just ignored it like a pussy so I told him over a phone call, "you have 2 options, either 1) you pay me and honor your word or 2) I will sue your ass" and hung up. 3 days had passed and I was getting fed up of that twat, plus school was starting soon. I called him up and told him he is fired and that he can keep his shitty idea and shove it up his ass. I hung up and since then I haven't heard or seen the wanker. Life has been great since then😝😎😜!17
-
!rant
I fuckin love technology man.
Whenever I'm walking up to my apartment I can turn my lights, tv and Xbox on AND even have the game I want to play loaded up before I unlock the door.18 -
Bible verses.
Sorted from "wtf" to progressively more disturbing.
---
1️⃣ One of many contradictions
---
John 4:12
"No one has seen the face of God."
Genesis 32:31
"I have seen the face of God..."
---
2️⃣ All-Knowing God, regrets creating you
---
Genesis 6:6
"And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart."
---
3️⃣ Says to kill all gay people
---
Leviticus 20:13
"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, they have committed an abomination; the two of them shall be put to death; their bloodguilt is upon them."
---
4️⃣ Approval of sex trafficking
---
Exodus 21:7
"If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed."
---
5️⃣ Says its ok to own slaves
---
Exodus 21:20-21
"Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property."
---
6️⃣ Says its ok to kill children
---
Psalms 137:9
"Blessed the one who seizes your children and smashes them against the rock: the children represent the future generations, and so must be destroyed if the enemy is truly to be eradicated."
---
7️⃣ Says a raped woman must marry her rapist
---
Deuteronomy 22:28–29
"If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days."
---
8️⃣ Says incest is ok
---
Genesis 19:32-36
"Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father. That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father."19 -
Friend : Hey man lets watch world cup at 5.
Me: Sure why not, we will have a great time
Me: Leaves office early tho having bugs to fix
Me: starts watching the game at frds place slowly pulls up my pc
Frnd: Are you even watching the gamean, it was a goal now , did u see that , come on man
Me: ohh yeahhh goallll, goes back to vim
Game ends and he switches off the tv and stares at me for 20 mins,
Me: what hpnd man did the lights go off?4 -
Worst code review had to be when a senior architect told me that my new library was good, but should be a bunch of files that we copy paste from project to project instead.
His comments were just so out of touch with a) what we were trying to fix with the team. b) basic understanding of good modularized code.
I’m far from a stuck up dev. Not stupid enough to think I’m better than everyone, or have nothing to learn from anyone.
But I totally had a “my boss is a ****ing retard” moment. It was hard to listen to him after this as it was hanging over my head “was I wrong? Or is this just no-library man striking again?” -
If you're a reasonably established dev and looking for a new role, never.. EVER make your CV public on a job board! I put it up for one day, ONE DAY and yesterday I had 42 phone calls, 15 voice messages and about 25 emails. How is anyone supposed to choose a meaningful, suited opportunity in all that! Information overload! And then trying to sort out times for someone you are interested in to phone you and picking up the phone at that time to accidental answer the phone to someone else (a new agent who has some excellent job roles for you!). Fuck this. Immediately took it down and hoping to look and apply to some myself that I like the look of. Don't do it man, unless you're a junior and it can be quite humbling how agency led it is, look for the right job yourself and apply individually! I have been on edge the last few days, especially where I haven't told my current place I am looking yet!3
-
*during sprint planning*
Me: so here are the tickets I'm taking in this sprint. I'll do this first and that second. I'm also keeping some buffer for emergency stuff
Manager: ok, this looks good. I trust you and will let you work in peace unless something important comes up. I won't micro manage you
Also my manager for every fucking day of the sprint: hey man what's up? Ready for sync up call?
THAT'S MICRO MANAGING RIGHT THERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU COULD CHECK JIRA OR GITHUB OR ASK ME IN STANDUP BUT YOU INSIST ON CALLING AND ASK ABOUT THE TINIEST DETAILS. GO FUCK YOURSELF SERIOUSLY9 -
This utilization shit is stupid! Seriously man what the hell! Yes yes it's an important number yes yes I don't even care. You want me to increase my utilization and at the same time be wary of the budget, which are unrealistically tight to begin with. It's freaking impossible! Who comes up with this shit?
You know what? Half of this shit ain't even my fault! A project was set for 200 hours and a guy wasted half of that trying to figure out just HOW TO CONNECT TO THE API! Like the guy only wrote 30 lines in 100 HOURS! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME! THEN YOU PASS OVER THE PROJECT TO ME AND SAY YOU HAVE ONLY 100 HOURS LEFT TO CONNECT TO THE API, GET THE DATA (WHICH BTW DOESNT EVEN EXIST), PARSE IT, AND THEN CREATE GRAPHS AND A FULLY FUNCTIONAL SOFTWARE, WITH A USER INTERFACE THAT SHOULD RUN AS AN EXECUTABLE!!!! ME? ALONE?
MAN FUCK YOU!2 -
I'm getting beat up pretty bad by Rust. I like it so far but man is it hard. Imposter-syndrome is almost making me lose motivation. Almost, but I won't quit, one day I'll get there.
I think the primary reason I think I'm having such a hard time is that I'm trying to learn stuff that prevents me from making some mistakes that I have never run into. I know a bit of the theory but no hand's on experience on double-free errors, memory leaks and weird low-level stuff. I read the documentation, mostly understand what stuff is for but when I go write code I'm just like "now what?". I don't have enough experience to know when and where to use some concepts and I'm super lost. I don't know where to start and the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by all sorts of new stuff is at the same time exciting and frightening.
I have never, as a programmer, thought something was hard. All of my past knowledge required dedication, work and patience, but I wouldn't say I ever felt something was *hard*. But Rust... damn. Rust is hard.
Hopefully at the end of this super steep learning curve I'll know a lot more stuff and have stronger "dev powers" and be one step closer to being as knowledgeable as some of you guys around here to whom I look up to.2 -
Wow man. Can the day get any worse
Mother fucker creator of Android. Now I'm A long time android user, but
Android+Snapdragon 6XX chip+Moto= worst combo ever. Damn you creators, may You be deepfucked by a mad bison in heat. Cocksuckers.
The heat my Moto X play generates, I could make an omelette on top of it. And the newest feature, where you try to type, but you can't see anything happening, when 30 secs later, you suddenly start seeing the after images of all the buttons you pressed, all the text you typed. Why maybe I typed at the speed of light and android couldn't keep up. No.
NO! You dumb fuckin POS. NO. I threw my phone 20ft, broke the tempered glass. The case protected this shit. Once I can save enough, I'll either sell a kidney and get an iPhone or even better a OP5.
Nothing disgusts me more than slow hardware.12 -
Oh man setting up postfix and dovecot (plus things like rspamd) is a pain in the ass.
But it's worth it, having your own mail server is just quite a good feeling.
Now I just need to find out how to get it to pass the spam filter of Google, despite the server and the DNS zone being well-configured (better than my school's mail server according to tests, but that one still manages to pass. I have no idea why.)9 -
So my friend told me that he recommended me to be a new Creative Engineer.
-Oh shit, sweet, what are the requirements?
-I don't really understand that kind of stuff man, just look it up, here' the link
*Hmmm*
-Html,
*ok*
-Css,
*mhmm*
-Javascript
*sure*
etc etc...
and,
Actionscript
...
Excuse me?
Who the FUCK use actionscript nowadays ???2 -
man i wish i had brain cells.
i was trying to free some storage by deleting some btrfs snapshots, so i mounted the directory and started rm -rfing, as you do. a couple minutes in, i decide to reboot and make sure i didn't accidentally start deleting my root partition.
spoiler alert: i accidentally started deleting my root partition.
it only got up to deleting /data (where i keep my multimedia), but my whole /boot directory is gone. now I'm gonna have to spend a couple hours redoing stuff like fstab and grub to make things work again 😃2 -
So, spent half a night setting up Travis CI. Just couldn't understand how CI will improve productivity...? But man when it worked... I wondered why I did not do it early... It even sends notification to my Slack channel...!!3
-
We code hard in these cubicles
My style’s nerd-chic, I’m a programmin’ freak
We code hard in these cubicles
Only two hours to your deadline?
Don’t sweat my technique.
Sippin’ morning coffee with that JAVA swirl.
Born to code; my first words were “Hello World”
Since 95, been JAVA codin’ stayin’ proud
Started on floppy disks, now we take it to the cloud.
On my desktop, JAVA’s what’s bobbin’ and weavin’
We got another winning app before I get to OddEven.
Blazin’ code like a forest fire, climbin’ a tree
Setting standards like I Triple E….
Boot it on up, I use the force like Luke,
Got so much love for my homeboy Duke.
GNU Public Licensed, it’s open source,
Stop by my desk when you need a crash course
Written once and my script runs anywhere,
Straight thuggin’, mean muggin’ in my Aeron chair.
All the best lines of code, you know I wrote ‘em
I’ll run you out of town on your dial-up modem.
Cause…
We code hard in these cubicles
Me and my crew code hyphy hardcore
We code hard in these cubicles
It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve seen the 404.
Inheriting a project can make me go beeee-serk
Ain’t got four hours to transfer their Framework.
The cleaners killed the lights, Man, that ain’t nice,
Gonna knock this program out, just like Kimbo Slice
I program all night, just like a champ,
Look alive under this IKEA lamp.
I code HARDER in the midnight hour,
E7 on the vending machine fuels my power.
Ps3 to Smartphones, our code use never ends,
JAVA’s there when I beat you in “Words with Friends”.
My developing skills are so fresh please discuss,
You better step your game up on that C++.
We know better than to use Dot N-E-T,
Even Dan Brown can’t code as hard as me.
You know JAVA’s gettin’ bigger, that’s a promise not a threat,
Let me code it on your brain
We code hard in these cubicles,
it’s the core component…of what we implement.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Straight to your JAVA Runtime Environment.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Keep the syntax light and the algorithm tight.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Gotta use JAVA if it’s gonna run right.
We code hard in these cubicles
JAVA keeps adapting, you know it’s built to last.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Robust and secure, so our swag’s on blast
CODE HARD10 -
Holy shit man...
I know its supposed to be hard but I cant ignore how much I want to give up right now.
I've been learning JS for months now, doing daily algorithm challenges, going strong on my freecodecamp dev map and still, I feel like I might no be cut out for this.
It's been more than a week now trying to implement a minimax algorithm into my tic tac toe game. I can't, for the life of me its just getting more frustrating by the day and its driving me crazy! How the fuck am I supposed to ever get a junior webdev job if I can't do something as simple as this!, And I keep reading and reading the theory but I cant implement it into my code! It just makes me want to quit (again)!
I really need to work on my attitude...1 -
Today's first day at my internship has been wasted by IntelliJ IDEA not importing a project properly.
On the bright side, other devs told me that it took them three days in order for all configuration to be set up.
Man, this sure feels unproductive.3 -
PM and CTO (direct boss) are always too busy to answer questions. CTO goes for hours without responding when I need him to clarify some task or to get access to something so I can set up something else (configure some server, whatever). PM is more available, but doesn't have the technical knowledge. CTO comes after hours asking me how the task is going, and refuses to make a call so we can communicate more effectively about stuff (whereas I never deny that to anyone when they need my help). Then, when I get late on tasks, CTO comes to me like "man, if you get stuck, ask for help". Like what is even the fucking point of asking for help if nobody will answer?
This is so fucking frustrating.1 -
Sometimes being a developer in Venezuela it's like turning up the difficulty level to ULTRA HARD. Imagine being in lockdown and having 9-12 hours long power outages. Like, man just let me work on my project2
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Oh my god, I'm basically at the verge of self-destruction! I've been trying all day to set up a simple Node server with react, but it's never that easy, is it? You need Babel to transpile ES6 + JSX to ES5, and then you need Webpack for god knows what reasons, and there are so man configuration files and options, and there are 1000 tutorials with 1001 ways to do something. I've created probably 20 new project because when I complete a tutorial and try to do something on my own, all hell is loose and I get some cryptic error message and am unable to ever get it to work. Holy cow, I need a drink... Am I just a retard? Greetings from Norway, by the way!7
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HOLY SHIT. short story, just dodged a bullet. Using the Samuel L Ipsum generator and not thinking. I then use this copy to test the notification system with the following text. luckily the system email only went to me!
"Look, just because I don't be givin' no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin' house, fuckin' up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'll kill the motherfucker, know what I'm sayin'?
Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they're going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing."1 -
So... My parent's house is 40 years old.
I'm cleaning the corners... and my father as a DIY guy and a man that was never afraid to learn and update, there is so must useful junk, but also soooo many card boxes. He never throws them away, in case he needs to return the item.
So... I've been cleaning a 3 shelf open closet.
- have around 8 bags of cardboard, paper and newspappers for recycling.
- plus 2 bags of plastic.
- 4 bags filled with books for the local community center.
- a bag full of electronics to salvage.
And this only in 2 rows...
Man how could he store so much stuff in there I don't know, but this ends up being fun.
Also, one printer to salvage. :D
When it's over I get to own the shelf to store my stuff :D4 -
Well I guess my first dev project will probably end up as my last (For good reason).
Not long after dippig my toe in the programming world by messing with Minecraft mods, I decided to take a gamemaking class at my high school which introduced me to gamemaker, straight away I was able to use my java knowledge to sort of become the go to person for help, so while everyone was following tutorials for a basic pac man clone I had started work on the final asignment which was to create a fundamentally playable game.
Taught myself how to use spritesheets, tilesets, external libraries and the like and decided, fuck it lets make an RPG based around looting dungeons, ended up decidng on the title 'Plunder', since then the project grew and grew in scope to the point it is now unrecognisable with my goals as of now compared to then.
Now that project has been placed on hold as the story and world just grew in scope to the point I litteraly do not have the knowledge or time to actually work on the game, so I've started converting that world into a book which is slowly motivating me to almost slice up the game and work on individual pieces.
But considering the drain and effort that has gone into this, pretty sure IF (And that's a big if) I ever do release this game that took basic concept 9 years ago, don't think I would ever be able to top that achievement.
Thankyou for coming to my ted talk.
(Just for shits and gigs I might try and did up some old projects related ot this and post them in the comments if anyone may be interested ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) -
So a package came at my door today and it looked like it had stickers in it. I thought they were my devRant stickers and became so overjoyed I happily signed the package and quickly went back in without reading the sender's name.
And then I opened it up and it had a phone's battery.
My sis-in-law sent her phone's battery and asked me to buy and send her a replacement.
Feels fucking bad, man... -
@lazyDev reminded me of the time my bid for a project was rejected because I'm a white man. Never mind the fact that I have built my career around data management, visualisation and modelling and the only other competing bid was from someone who had experience in mobile development and little else. I checked up on the company and the project just now, and they've posted the project up again. I've made a bid just like I did before, only this time I've tripled my price. Let's see if they change their minds.3
-
Just realized that after 3 months of continuous samsung s9 use my phone is still as fast as it was when i got it out the box.
Man I love this stupid phone so much. Everything opens up so fast and this sob is as smooth as an iphone when it comes to the speed.
Pure goodness. Still would like to try a more pure Android environment u know? Like back when nexus was still a thing. I don't really dig the pixel phones too much but know that I am on a more open carrier and I can use phones like the one plus series I think i know what my next phone would be.
Nothing personal samsung, you have been good ans loyal, but i want to play with more phones.
I really love smartphones.2 -
I've been working for two days (after work) on my blog idea...
Man I forgot how fun it is to work on your own projects, and the stuff I learn at the moment... It is insane!
I am currently a very happy developer, hopefully I can keep this up.
I still have to look into automated unit testing and code formatting checks with github though, cant wait! -
!dev
I just had one guy coming back to the house at 4am, again, and he made his usual grand entrance, slamming the doors, stomping on the wooden floor making all the creaking sound as he walk all the way to his room, which is right beside mine. And when he went into the bathroom, which is on the other side of my room, he slammed he motherfucking lid on the toilet bowl which was so fucking loud I literally jumped out of bed. I ended up not being able to sleep (I have a lot of trouble falling asleep), and when I tried to sleep in the afternoon to catch up on the missed winks, another motherfucking bastard started blasting fucking hardcore electronics in the living room which is right below my room. The same bastard also plays loud movies or music at 2-3am. I’ve told that bastard that comes home late to watch his noise but man he only minds the noises I told him and nothing else. As for the other fucker, he’ll say he’d keep it down but continues doing what he’s doing anyway.
I moved here cause I know that it’s usually a quiet place and away from the party kids, but I somehow ended up with a party kid and an insensitive fucker (This motherfucker had the loudest sigh of frustration when I knocked politely on his door last night. Yes I calmed down before I talked to him, but ended up deciding to not utter a word at all when I hear that sigh).
I should move out, but I can’t find a place before next term cause it’s way too late at this point. I am on a lease, but my landlord understands my situation, and he seems okay with breaking the contract.
Having been here as an international student for almost 2 years now, and having moved 5 times, this has been the worst nightmare of a bunch of people to stay with.
For those that has read of me ranting about this elsewhere, yes it’s that same fucking bunch that doesn’t clean the house.9 -
Man, I love how G++ (and every other Gnu tool for that matter) makes 0 effort to understand what you fucked up, and they only tell you where they got stuck. What am I supposed to do with this error that doesn't contain a single reference to my project?7
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One thing I truly fucking dislike about the development life is knowing about server administration. I think that the mental hurdle that is to develop a huge application, make a stable dev environment, learn all the tools, tricks, techniques, modern standards, processes whatever, detailing software engineering are way tf too much to also handle server admin shit.
We don't have anyone at work that deals with that, and as such my devs need to know how to do entire series of maintenance shit that just takes time and effort plus hours of notetaking and study. I mean I get it, they should know their way around a linux environment enough to troubleshoot issues that are related to the os when working with some tools, but fuuuuuuuck me man, setting up a server, even for the holy grail of easy (standard lamp stack) takes way tf too much.
Wish we could have a dedicated server admin in the team.
I know where my faults are, setting up servers is something that I know but just can't be assed with in terms of keeping up, I wish we had a devops dedicated server admin deployment guru cuz I really cannot stand losing hours doing this shit.
It also diminishes good s admins in value, "weLl ThE deVs caN do It" YEAH BITCH but wouldn't it be nice to have an expert concentrating on JUST THAT?
FUCK man7 -
Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
...
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1 -
Man I am tired of my company's dogshit software release process.
We have to commit to fucking estimates for 6 months (2 quarters), SQA shadowing dev by 2 weeks, and freaking estimates and work done at the end are not even close. And then we call it a minor release. These shitty estimates are based on requirements that basically say "we want feature x, plz make it work". It's some fucked up agilefall garbage that does not work for shit.
We rush like motherfuckers during the final weeks because estimates are bullshit but we are still expected to be done with every story points which somehow are days instead of other better metrics.
I swear this fucking bullshit has been designed by the board so they could plan their money entries based on the software release.
The only reason this company actually still holds itself up is because the engineers are good at their job.
Go fuck yourself high management. -
Just remembering that time (years ago) at my old job when my then boss asked our 3-man team to develop an Adobe Flash multi-level beat-em-up game with customisable characters and computer AI in 6 weeks, only for the one asshole comment on Youtube to label it "aburido" (boring)
"https://youtube.com/watch/..."4 -
One of the things that I like the most regarding Clojure(and most Lisps to be honest) is how "not for beginners" the ecosystem feels.
Don't get me wrong, setting up a project in lein with dependencies(both internal and external) is a cakewalk, installing lein or boot is a cakewalk. Setting environment consts and middleware etc etc is a cakewalk.
Its just that there are no blogs about convoluted and amateurish ways of doing things. Most presentations and articles are written by really experienced and talented individuals.
I dunno, its just a nice shift in community. Its nice to see people not fucking up Object Oriented programming in java or any of the other oop languages. Its nice not seeing people giving horrible advice regarding memory management in C or c++ and it is sure as shit nice to not see spaghetti php und js code.
And my productivity levels are off the charts man. Really liking this shit and I get to stay inside my JVM -
I don't understand Laravel...
I'm just a software undergrad in my final year. Coming from JS side of things (Express, NextJS), I find Laravel so complex, and maybe unnessecarily complex?
Like, when I wanna learn Laravel, I understand the MVC structure. However, going deeper into it, there are libraries/names like
1. Vagrant
2. Facade
3. Artisan
4. Guard
5. Gate
6. Policies
ALL OF THESE
WHICH I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT TIES TO THE FUCKING MVC STRUCTURE
I'm seriously giving up... My courses forces us to learn this framework, and I feel more and more inadequate because I have so many things to learn, including things for my FYP, which involves the use of NextJS. And can I mention HOW EASY AND MINIMALISTIC JS FRAMEWORKS ARE?
LIKE, I JUST WANNA MAKE A STUPID FUCKING APP MAN, WHY MUST I KNOW SHIT LIKE ARTISAN MAKE, WHAT THE FUCK VAGRANT IS, HOW GATES ARE RELATED TO POLICIES, HOW POLICIES RELATE TO VIEWS, WHY THE FUCK DOES FACADE EXIST, and other fucking stupid questions I need to ask in order to utilize Laravel correctly?
Don't even get me started on JETSTREAM, FORTIFY, LARAVEL/UI, BREEZE. Like, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE ONE SINGLE PATTERN, AND THEN HAVE GOOD TUTORIALS RELATED TO THAT ONE SINGLE THING?
I don't know, am I just stupid? Looking at Laravel, I feel like my braincells die more and more looking at the words used, the unusual terms, and the pain that comes with trying to learn it, because I don't have time. I'm going to fucking fail this subject because I have too much other stuff in my life to learn about.
I'm fucking tired man...35 -
FUCK YES
The feeling when you and the DBA completely fix an issue that has been fucking up your users and that the third party vendors themselves couldn't fix on your own teamwork is so..... fucking... addicting.
Wrote an email to the hod to let us off a bit late tomorrow morning, least I can do for this fucking server admin, sql class A mastermind, Oracle fucking super pro.
I really pray for all of you mfkers to get the same type of coworker. this dude has taught me a lot and I really jump at the first opportunity I get to work with him. His accomplishments for the institution are many really, its just one of those happy bromances man.
I raise my beer mug, to the best fucking DBA i have ever worked with.
For my next trick, I am going to make sure the dude gets the position for the manager of his department as soon as the current dude retires (should be soon) a great man himself, but short on giving his dba the praise he deserves.
The previous manager of my departament told me "pay attention to <DBA NAME> he is your secret weapon and you will be his" and by heavens sweet momma was right. -
Not a DRV rant bit I am Maaad AF here
I am doing an internship at an amazing company. Everything is going well and I have learned a lot. This internship is for 6 months and almost 4 months are remaining. Now this shitfuckery of obscene ignorance that I call my college , wants every student to attend classes no matter what. I have already told them the status of my internship but they said "college is more important ". Along with this they want 2 projects in this semester and my HOD said we have to give developments of our project weekly
When I told this amazing piece of human knowledge that I won't get off for every week and I will be using git , he can see my developments and we can communicate on slack etc.
This humble genius said with utmost compassion " what is got, I don't use it , come daily to college". Man, first time in my life I have ever given that Michael Corleone stare at sollozzo killing death stare.
Indian colleges are messed up.1 -
Ex-colleague asked for help in regards to an old project we were working at my old job
Him:"We're experiencing an internal server error. What do we do?"
Me:"Restart tomcat, dude"
Him:"How?"
Then I explained how by finding tomcat in ps -ef in a Redhat server, because he's a Linux noob and needed a lesson in how services works. Proceeded to explain how to restart tomcat with an online guide available.
Him:"Couldn't find tomcat in any of the servers"
Me:"Are you sure? Send me screenshots"
Him: sent screenshots
Me:"it's there. Look carefully."
Him: finds it and proceeded to restart tomcat.
Him: "Can't restart. Some catalina.sh is stopping it."
Me:"Figure it out. You can do it".
Half a day passed...
Him:"I give up. If I restart the server, will tomcat also restart?"
Me:"Up to you man. It will work but it's bad practice."
He restarted the server vand now everything is honky dory. I feel sorry for him though.2 -
I replaced every sound effect on my Linux distro with its Windows XP equivalent. Man that instant nostalgia/euphoria I get when starting up my pc!3
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Never create a work around for assholes. It will eventually become their solution.
Man fuck this guy, this project is almost a year old and it was originally supposed to be a patch. But even with all my insisting, they never tried to move to the real solution.
Now this jackass brings it up and he's a hero, and I don't know what I'm doing. What a fucking way to start the week. -
This co-worker was straight out nuts who bullshitted his way into the company. Man he smelt like shit. The fucked up part was one day I noticed my other co - workers walking behind him weirdly. Well word got around that he shit his pants and the other co workers were walking behind him sniffing his pants having a laugh. I still don't know where we got these workers from.
-
Def not dev oriented.
I am a huge fan of trading card games. It started with Yu Gi Oh, moved on to Magic, even tried, LoTR when it was a thing, tried algo Star Wars the original CCG (loved it), Duel Masters (when it was still in the U.S) Pokemon (of fucking course) and other more uncommon ones like Cardfight Vanguard, tried latino only games (Mitos y leyendas, Myths & Legends, this one is king on my list) and Flesh & Blood. But as a mexican kid, I was always a fan of fucking dragon ball, like most mexican kids.
SO I bought some cards from the newest game expansion. the owner of the TCG/anime store told me that if I was willing to play that I should hang out on tuesdays.
So, learning the rules of the game, and wanting to play with other people, I went there on a tuesday.
The MTG people were there fighting amongst themselves for some reason. the Pokemon people were there also, just opening packs without playing. A rather large table was there with a bunch of people playing a game that I did not recognize. And then there was me. I was chilling on my phone thinking that the DB dudes would show up eventually. nothing, so I just sat there waiting.
Suddenly a dude comes to the large table and starts pairing people for a "tournament" and once they are all sited he notices that 1 is missing, he walks up to me holding a store app and asks me "sorry bro, are you here to play with us by any chance?" to which I say "I do not think so, I came here for DB but I don't know what you guys are playing"
The dude looks down on his app, somehow actually sad and says "man I do play DB, but I don't think I have my cards with me, maybe, let me see" and he goes on to see if he brought something.
This was green flag n 1. the dude wanted to just play something with someone. And was doing something to not LEAVE someone behind. then quick as hell another says "well, why don't we give him a deck and he can play with us! we can teach him!" and I say "well what are you lads playing?" and he says "digimon man you like the anime? a new release came about! it's sick man it would be awesome if you play!"
Second green flag, another member of that community was happy for the idea of increasing the membership and actively did something to increase the population.
So, I hanged out with them. Close knit group, all friends from a long time, but willing to take an unfamiliar (and rather handsome) face with them.
My face when (MFW) the DB dudes where not there, so the digimon group adopted me.
I know have over.....2000 cards, most of them were gifted to me by them after they saw my chops and tough me how to play, by graciously lending me their decks.
This my lads, is what humanity is about. We got close fast, it has been 2 weeks of just chilling with them at the game lounge, just nice people, all of them really. Not a single angry moment or anything, you pull a crazy combo on them and they legit sheeeeeeeesh and applaud them, they don't care about loosing, they just want to have a good time, and this, this is a good crowd to be at.
Strive to make people feel welcomed. Being nice to others, taking a chance on people you deem to be ok, is fine really. It is rather cool. Anyone can be a salty asshole, but it takes a real king to be nice to others just for the sake of having a good time.
These dudes, they are gold. And I finally have something to take my mind away from work and other things that increase my anxiety and stress. I would much rather be there shooting the shit with the lads and playing games than at home, drinking the night away to relieve stress.
Kings3 -
Last week my PM scheduled a meeting for the whole team of 14 devs to talk about our tasks, how we can improve our workflow, so he's up to date on daily stuff nad sprint progress. After an hour and a half of lots of brainstorming i just asked
- what exactly do you want to achieve with all these changes?
- basically i would like on overview of current progress on each task
And he proposed couple of different meetings during the sprint, which would waste dev time. He proposed to apoint one person reaponsible to keeping him informed during each sprint. He proposed we change our meetings, our process, all of it.
So I just sat with my laptop during the same meeting and I prepared a jira board with swimlanes, filters, etc. Where you can sort by priority, size, what is blocked, what is, waiting in queue, what is being currently developed, what is being tested, what's ready for deployment, etc. Easy. 5-10mins of work.
- does this solve your problem?
-....
- you have everything here
-... What if someone doesn't update the ticket status?
- we check everything during our dailies, so, worst case scenario is the status is not update for 24h
-... Umm.. Yeah.. I think thats it. Thank you.
So, we basically wasted 20+ man-hours on another bullshit meeting because the guy thats supposed to be using these tools doesn't know them at all. After working here for 6 months. -
Ugh. That may have been a mistake.
I'm deep in a large effort to refactor my project. It's a one man deal and something I've been working on pretty much every day in some fashion for nearly 10 years (five years ago I started a scratch rewrite to move from a fully CGI server rendered application to a browser rendered asynchronous version built around JS) and that took me three years.
I started this refactor about 8 weeks ago. Turns out I've been tackling the largest modules and progress has been decent. So that's good.
But I got to wondering ... Just how much code is there?
So I whipped up a quick script to do some calculations. Read each file and get a line and word count, skipping empty lines.
In JS it turns out I have 83,973 lines and 467,683 words.
On the back end, 86,230 lines and 580,422 words.
Average publishing stats say the are about 250 words/printed page.
That means I'm confronting refactoring 1,870 pages of JS. That's the size of several decent sized novels. (I think I've done the equivalent of Maybe 400 at this point).
Makes me feel like the walls are creeping in to know how much is left to go ... -
Everyone in this team calls everything a team effort, but once I start offering my help, they be like "no, I can do it. I know more than you".
Hmm. yeah, but you (sysadmin) use jQuery and vanillajs mixed. For example: $('#hello') and document.getElementById('hello').
Also you put console.logs everywhere, I don't mind putting console.logs in development, but not in production.
Oh and he copies the libraries to every folder that needs it, so there are at least 12 jquery libs in this project and the version is not even the same. Lol.... Please slap me to death.
There is another networkadmin that calls himself a (python) developer. He doesn't agree with my simplicity.
His work (just an example, changed names but you get the idea)
"A notebook that is used by x-department"
Model: Notebook
endpoint: department-notebooks
Model: DepartmentConfigs
Endpoint: notebook-department-configs
You won't believe what he put in 'department'configs, it's literally hardware vendor, model, versions.
Like... really? What the hell you doing man?!
Just have these models for example: device, department, vendor, product, category
We do not only have notebooks, but also servers, routers, switches and more.
His argument of having configs in the name is that they do more complex things. Hmm, I don't see it in the code and the data is messed up:
Microsoft, microsoft, micro soft.
He fixed it by hardcoding it in a select box. Mickysoft isn't the only vendor, fuck you!
fuck this team, fuck these people
Another fucking rant, a story was assigned to me. But that stupid fake developer worked on it immediately and message me he fixed it already. I guess he won't let me touch his baby.
Everything is just piling up. This team and people aren't fun at all.3 -
A story from the old days
My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...
One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.
When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...
Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...
I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...
One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...
I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...
I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease... -
Sooooo this is the thing.
For a stupid fucking project at work we basically have to scrum manage a bunch of individual components on a rather large web app.
We start with the html and css and js bs and we all have to work on different sections of one page at a time. Large blocks right? Ok cool.
Originally I had suggested to build everything inside individual php files and then stack them up with require(). As fucking simple as fucking that. Except that the manager does not have php on her pc. The other two developer don't either. I am the only one that fucks with php OUTSIDE our fucking servers.
Go fucking figure...the lead developer does not fuck with php outside the servers.....man
So, because i know it would be a shitstorm with something as basic as installing i dunno...fucking xampp my manager said that she needs a different solution.
Fuck it...fine...whatever. i know go. So i make a fucking server wich upon being fired you can just code the templates and paste them where they need to go. Docs and everything..a sane folder structure and everything and a fucking pipleline for the assets and everything. I would have thought that shit was good enough but I even added a cmd tool that merges all the fucking html files together into one html file with all the shit included.
All in Golang. It works, its fast and i can just give them the fucking folder with the exe and it will work.
I dunno if this was the best way to do it. But it took me maybe 20 mins to do it and it works.
I would have expected our manager to be impressed but she legit did not gave two fucking shits about the fact that one of her developers is able to create this mini server for static sites shitstain project in 20 minutes.
Man I don't want praise. She thinks that jquery is the best thing in the world so I don't expect much. But shit man.......a better reaction would have been better. She basically went meh ok as long as it works.
I also showed them a demo of a flutter project to replace the shitty ass webview filled school app that they have for android and ios. Shit is native and it looks beautiful. Ask me what she said.
Go on, fucking ask me.
She said tha if it would take me much time to continue on that the she would rather leave it to the third party vendor that currently makes the app.
I told her that such shitty app costs the school 40 fucking thousand dollars a year that I could do in a fucking month, which would also be better since it would raise the salaries of me and the other 2 developers and will more importantly make us more valuable to the school.
Said that she would think about it because we have a lot of projects.
I
Fucking
Hate
It
When someone fucks with my ability to make more money. I hate it fam. And i fucking despise being limited by other people.
Fuck this week.
I am never gonna grow in here. Ever. But it pays the bills so fuck it.6 -
what the fk how hard can it be to have a working version of the software on the master/ ros-version branch? Why is this thing always broken?! HOW?!
Had to update today unfortunately, and man, I have been "installing" this shit for over 3 hours now. Use the .install they said. It will be fast they said. Ye sure, my ass. The Dependencies are broken and incomplete as always and the tutorial is not up to date. Big suprise. I get it, it's a lot of work to keep these things up to date. But please if they are this broken and incomplete why are they released in the first place.
And then they wonder why I don't manage to do my work on time. Yeah, cause I'm stuck debugging this shit <.<'1 -
Man... I hate refactoring. After I had finished up an issue this morning, I had to refactor old sql queries and the parsing to the views.
I've worked on it all day and I still haven't finished! Still loving my job, tasks like these are unavoidable but they drain the life out of me.3 -
Broke up with my girlfriend due to ongoing stress to commit to the relationship, to perform at my current job, graduating early next March, looking for a full time job/studying for interviews, and going to school.
We never really planned long term and we were just in the relationship to have fun, but man do breakups suck.
I want to be able to focus on myself so I can set myself up for greatness in the future. Unfortunately that means sacrifices have to be made so I don’t lose my mind. Oof4 -
So i've just learned C# and started learning how to use it in unity. And one of my friends asked me if I could help him with an error he couldn't understand, and I said sure (Why didn't he search up what the error meant?). I look at the syntax. This is ruby code, come on man I said i know about C# I don't know anything about ruby man.6
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Did a website for my uncle. I'm not a web dev and I don't normally do this kind of thing for family but he's putting me up for two weeks. So he asked how difficult websites are, basically just needed me to drop some stuff in a template and host it. Not a problem. The man then brings me a printed piece of paper with changes he wants.... No copy paste for me...2
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DEAR NON TECHNICAL 'IT' PERSON, JUST CONSUME THE FUCKING DATA!!!!
Continuation of this:
https://devrant.com/rants/3319553/...
So essentially my theory was correct that their concern about data not being up to date is almost certianly ... the spreadsheet is old, not the data.... but I'm up against this wall of a god damn "IT PERSON" who has no technical or logic skills, but for some reason this person doesn't think "man I'm confused, I should talk to my other IT people" rather they just eat my time with vague and weird requests that they express with NO PRECISION WHATSOEVER and arbitrary hold ups and etc.
Like it's pretty damn obvious your spreadsheet was likely created before you got the latest update, it's not a mystery how this might happen. But god damn I tell them to tell me or go find out when the spreadsheet was generated and nothing happens.
Meanwhile their other IT people 'cleaned the database' and now a bunch of records are missing and they want me to just rando update a list of records. Like wtf is 'clean the database' all about!?!?!?
I'm all "hey how about I send you all records between these dates and now we're sure you've got all the records you need up to date and I'll send you my usual updates a couple times a day using the usual parameters".
But this customer is all "oh man that's a lot of records", what even is that?
It's like maybe 10k fucking records at most. Are you loading this in MS Access or something (I really don't know MS Access limits, just picking an old weird system) and it's choking??!?! Just fucking take the data and stick it in the damn database, how much trouble can it be?!!?!?
Side theory: I kinda wonder if after they put it in the DB every time someone wants the data they have some API on their end that is just "HERE"S ALL THE FUCKING DATA" and their client application chokes and that's why there's a concern about database size with these guys.
I also wonder if their whole 'it's out of date' shit is actually them not updating records properly and they're sort of grooming the DB size to manage all these bad choices....
Having said all that, it makes a lot more sense to me how we get our customers. Like we do a lot of customer sends us their data and we feed it back to them after doing surprisingly basic stuff ever to it... like guies your own tools do th---- wait never mind....1 -
Every fucking time I get an application for simple stuff like cleaning or weight measuring, and it asks me for completely unnecessary things like making an account and requesting access to my gps location, I look up the company and find out it's Chinese. What the fuck man.1
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Couple of years ago, I made a nice app that i was proud of, and a friend's father was interested so i visited him on his office to demo the app. Everything went nice up untill his damn printer decided to stop working and the very old man asked me for help "politely" . I made the classical mistake and tried to help but i could'nt fix it . the client old man later said he would contact me soon but that never happened. I thought he didn't like the app but i asked my friend anyway. You know the rest , he liked the app but was worried because i was very young and lack skills!!
he's questioned my skills for not being able to fix the printer. -_-3 -
So.. We probably have thousands of rants on git and muggles here's one from me.
I've been roped into this ongoing project, guys with 1-1.5 years of experience are already working on it.
When they shared repo with me ...
I see 195 branches WTF! What are these idiots up to 🤔
And only handful of people working on project.
This one time I was merging branch with master ( branch #196) with master, guy sitting besides me asks me what I am doing I said it's good practice to pull before you push, right?(the line I remember reading here on devRant, I thought let's bee cool 😎 😋) And I explained him that I am merging 'em locally and will push once everything looks good ( I realized later that I shouldn't have wasted my couple of minutes explaining him)
He says don't waste your time and download (clone) the project folder(repo) from github and then paste or add your change to it.
Fuck you man, you should go fuck yourself instead of telling me that I'm wasting my time.
Sometimes I wonder, What do these guys think of github? Assholes, chutiya saale1 -
To all that read my rants regarding my webshop before! Here's the long awaited update!
So this asshole partner did just not take care of business so I decided to stand down as a director for that company. So we arranged that last monday.
I thought: let's end this properly, clean up my mail, some other stuff... tuesday he revoked me access to everything, so I couldn't access anything anymore. Wow fucker! You never did a thing and now suddenly you take action? Wtf?!
Can you please pay your part of the bill for the accountant? You already promised a couple of times.
Well of course mr retard, you really think I'll follow up on my promises? You never kept 1 of them yet expect me to keep that promise? Fuck you man.
So today he asked again. I told him that I'd like to know what he wants with all the custom made stuff as I developed it and copyright is owned by me. Then mr asshole started insulting again: just because of the fact that you're not a front end dev doesn't mean that makes.up for you taking so much time.to implement all that. I asked an expert.and he could do it in 3 hours! Wow dude! A front end dev optimizing db queries, rewriting parts of the back end in just.3 hours including the front-end?,You're so right.
Of course not cunt face. I'm already full stacking for 20 fucking years and.you tell me that?! Really? Mr insult's back again!
Then he says: I'm so fed up with all this crap that to end this properly I will have my new IT business partner look at your so called 'custom made components'.
For fuck's sake man, can I send you a tree with a rope so that you can hang yourself?
Good luck getting your domain name as it is still registered on my company's name. I might cancel it someday in the future at my convenience.
If anyone here loves fucking up a website, get in touch with me.1 -
So I'm helping my vocational school teacher with his Programming class as a graduate. While we were alone and talking about normal stuff (plans for the class and stuff like that), he brought up discord and after that I told him "I really wanna work for them, but I don't wanna move" and he continued to tell me how I have so much potential, how nothing stops me, how I am going far and that I'm going to do a lot. I wanted to legit cry inside because I've always thought the exact opposite of myself and always just thought about living a normal life, with the same dev job, nice home yknow the norm.
Idk man that talk happened in the afternoon today and Im still overwhelmed with the positivity.3 -
I've already ranted about this, the hdd randomly broke over night. I was (i shit you not) just about to set up backups for it this day.
Being relatively new to linux but confident with bash and cli and stuff.. reading "I/O Error" as output of nearly any command on a server rented somewhere 150 km away from me was like a punch in the face.:D
It wasn't directly bad, but it was kinda sad, I had a (now don't laugh - a man gotta chill from time to time) minecraft server running there with tons of mods and we were multiple 100s of hours into it already..
But not only that, my projects weren't on any git or anything anymore (local copies were gone, guess what gitlab i set up proudly i used..) and there was no recovering these little loved ones, together with my website.
It was a black day, my group i had to work with in university doubted me because for them i wasn't able to manage a git server properly and i hope it does not happen again..): -
is soo cool when people is up to joke around with my bad jokes.
-- Talking with a coworker about a new button in a results table --
dude: hey jhon, I'll name the button 'SHOW RESULTS' and the endpoint will be named that too. cuz there is a 'SHOW STATS' already
me: dunno, use something more meaningful, this is about unparsed results, right? so what about...
me: unparsed results ? unparsed stats ?
me: another one bites the dust? show must go on?
me: innuendo?
me: pick one 8D . But I think innuendo is pretty descriptive
dude: ok
me: seriously, 'show unparsed stats'
dude: got it
-- then the dude sends me the screenshot --
me: LOL, 8D
me: you got my respect man (_ _) -
The ruling government coalition of my country officially prohibited ANY pay raises in 2024 and is likely to limit them until 2026, obliterated running tax exemption agreements on Intellectual Property specifically targeting software developers, raised tobacco taxes by 25%, killed fossil fuel-powered company cars while barely investing ANYTHING in electric infrastructure, and severely cut public transport funding.
AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST SIT BACK AND TAKE A YEARLY 5000 EURO LOSS WHILE MY MARKET VALUE INCREASES?? WTF man.
Good job centrists, greens, socialists and liberals. The only thing I can do to punish them is by voting for extreme left or right. Way to go to turn a law-abiding, moderate citizen into a riled-up, disillusioned mofo.12 -
Python ecosystem drives me nuts!
Not the language tho, i kinda like it, and some features are damn straight awesome.
But ecosystem... man!
The way ppl write code in it, the lack of documentation (or in quality of it)...
I recently wanted to check how library does one thing (debug purposes), and not only i had to track some method up 3 classes, the other method i hunted only by signature and still i have no idea how it ends up being accessible where it should...
"Explicit is better than implicit" my ass...
Also dev managed to make the code very unreadable. In Python. Language with such strong opinions about code formatting. HOW ?!!
And the worst part is, it wasn't that big of a library and didn't really need the full freaking Enterprise OOP treatment with layers over layers of generally named classes and fucked up architecture.
FUCK THAT LIB, FUCK THAT DEV, FUCK IT ALL !!!
PS.
Project seems to be abandoned for a year or two, so there is hardly an option to fix things with the author sadly :(3 -
A top food chain client wants a feature Fx
and has a deadline on Friday.
We are still working on it and already estimated hours and set deployment on Monday.
(No deployments on Friday)
And the business/sales guy comes up with new deadline to submit it at Friday morning.
And was only discussing with one of my team member already working on it. And i knew there is more hours required for testing and need to deployment pre deployment phase (staging of dev)
I was over hearing the conversation between them and I got pissed off and jumped in and said Not Possible at all.
He tries to argues about giving something to him. I said we can give it to you but will not garauntee anything. Now project manager jumps in. PM and my team already know that we will be delivering on Monday.
He arguing that if the Fx is not ready then I will call client developer to office to test it directly on my team members laptop.
I said, No way. We are not ready yet and havent finished yet. Major work will be on Thursday and on Friday we will be testing till end of the day.
PM explains him blah blah stuff.
He calms down and says no worries we will check the status on Friday afternoon amd roll out something to Client.
PM, developer and I looked each other and I said, sure will deploy but will not garauntee anything. He goes back to his desk.
Seriously.
WE ALREADY ESTIMATED F* MAN HOURS AND WILL BE READY ON MONDAY MEANS MONDAY DONT F* BUILD MORE PRESSURE ON US. F* SALES2 -
Some advice please: In our last sprint meeting my manager told the whole team that I broke something. What he didn't say was that he was also responsible for that. He generally has the habit of accusing others to cover up for his own faults. I don't care, I own up to my mistakes. Any witty but nice responses if he tries that again? I'd like to answer "Man, I don't even feel bad" but that would be too sarcastic.3
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Me: "I think I'd like to try out the new Ubuntu version. I really liked Gnome before, maybe the OS is better now?"
A couple days later...
"Man, it's really nice not having to emulate bash. I'm so much more productive now with Linux tooling! Wait, why did everything freeze?"
A week after install...
"What do you mean 'I need to recompile wireless adapter drivers'? Why isn't that included or updated through 'apt'!? Who's the person sitting at their desk saying 'yup, that's a reasonable solution?'"
Two weeks after install...
Me: "Oh, so it's not Chrome eating up system resources, there's a memory leak in gnome-shell.... WHAT!? WHY!? How do I switch back to Unity?"
One month after install...
Me: "Yeah, so I tried it out, but then I threw my computer in a river and I'm *so much* better off now."3 -
My last rant did not go down well 😂
I need to clarify.
If you have no communication directly to another dev.... And your creation directly impacts theirs .... And you don't tell the middle man ... You are a twat especially if your aware of the launch that's basically right now !
To be clear.... This guy built their site and database everything .
I had to connect part of their new app to the site... A few pages they wanted in the app.
He changed the links ... On purpose I think to screw over the launch of the app to make me look bad
I can not communicate with him... The CEO hates him and won't talk to him either
So what am I to do?
Not be pissed off about a spiteful dickhead?
Of course I'm pissed
To make people understand you don't send out a lethal update that can fuck up the servers without telling no one... That their might be technical issues -
One evening I put on my Quest2 and have some fun with the Climb2. I fell off the cliff a few times. Next morning my 5yo wakes up with shitty mood and tells me he had a dream how he was on a hill and fell off. It wasva bad dream.
A few days later I was watching The Troll on Netflix. I like this king of genre so I was enjoying it. Next morning my kiddo wakes up all excited with 'daddy daddy, I've had a dream of a mountain!'. 'Did you fall off this one too' - I rush to ask. He says: 'no, but the mountain stood up and it was like a man!'
he's been asleep both times. I was with my headphones during the movie and on 1bar of volume during the climb. He's never seen neither the game nor the movie [or any troll, for that matter]. And I'm not making this up.
How... How the hell did he do that. Do we after all float in some wibbly-wobbly ether we can communicate through?4 -
Ok so I'm a student so I don't have a boss but man this one kid who is the lead of my programming team. I swear he works with a 10ft pole up his a**. Maybe that's why he is so tall 🤔. Anyways he is a nerd and by far my LEAST favorite person ever. I wish nothing but BSODs in his future. He is a devrant user but I'm not gonna name him to hurt his feelings. *cough* ewpratten *cough* but im.pretty sure he copy pastas 🍝 his code from stack schools and pastes it in our mainframe robot.
#BSODToPratten3 -
Finally got my first dev job. I am looking at the code base for my company. And it’s like I know how to code in this language. But I don’t know half of the advanced shit they’re doing. I understand they have more experience than me. But I’m just not sure how to catch up to them. Or be even on the same level as them? I guess just more out of office learning?
I can read what they’re putting in the code and understand how it works. But like how they came up with it I have no clue. I guess I’ll learn over time and have to put in some extra man hours.5 -
Me, working hard on a SQL project with a deadline that is half what it should be with no support from the other people on the project and was mostly made with with data I imagined would be in there cos no one could get me any fucking shit done (i.e. effectively designed, built, tested, fixed, upgraded, documented on my own for an entire weekly/monthly/ad-hoc analysis process that would output various reports for internal/external/management)
Manager - man who is a known waste of space but for some reason is in charge of the smallest part of the project, shouldn't have been fucking involved fucking management guzzling stain magnet...
Manager: Hey, do I need to refresh the database?
Me: .................
Me: .................
Me: ............I dunno, do you think we should refresh the database that this entire project is reliant? I mean...why do we need up to date transactions to analyse? Wait....you telling me it's not been being refreshed this ENTIRE time?
Manager: No....you never said I should. So should I?
Me: ..................I never said you should!?!? Are you not in the meetings talking about dependencies?????? Do you think i should have up to date trans or just run this with old stuff????? Why would you not update it!??!!?!?!? Its transactions...... (Desperately trying not to punch through my screen, through his, into his throat)
Manager: ..............
Me: .................
Manager: I think i'll refresh it and add it to the job?
Me: ....................(goes back to work cursing with music in so I think its quiet but who knows).
Tard, don't know how he even gets to work without someone holding his fucking hand.
Happy ending, I don't work there anymore :p
Sad ending, his spirit of tard follows me to my new jobs and possesses someone (or three sometimes) -
Impostor syndrome is too real. I frequent feel stress about tasks that are getting delayed. Saying yes to any task given to me (even if there isn't really time for it).
Most recent I had a 1 man project (which I hate, cause I always think it's better to work in teams). It was estimated to take 1 week and ended up being done 2½ weeks after. Remembered I took 1 sick day, just feeling awfull about the project being so delayed and couldn't get my self to go to work.
Well week after the project was done, I had a "employee development conversation" with my CEO and my boss. (like I do every half year). As always they loved to have me on the team and thought I was doing a great job. Same thing I always hear to these meetings.
Deep inside I know I am doing a good job. Keeping up with new things. But my problem is always taking to much on my plate. In the middle of all the code and stuff, I always seem to forget that I am doing a good job and doing my best and start feeling worse again. It's a really bad cycle and causing me to take "fake" sick days just to cool down again. (which often makes me feel even worse, for letting the project getting delayed more).
// DevRant / DevConfession2 -
So I joined this digital agency where they are working on this ad-tech product and right from day one, I was given a task to implement a new feature on the product. No knowledge transfer. No onboarding process. So, I had given estimation about the task and apparently it took longer than expected. But what were they expecting. Anyways, my manager asked me to have a KT with the only senior guy that has been working there for last couple of years. And man, since the KT started, it's been hell for me. The guy is such an asshole and won't even give me a basic walkthrough of the system. He only took one call and that ended within 30 minutes. On top of that he went ahead and told the product manager that I am not keeping up and am not ready. And my product manager apparently wants me to take his place within a month. It's been only two months since I joined. I have already pushed two major features, tried to understand the system architecture, codebase and everything on my own. On top of that, I got yelled at by that senior dev in a meeting about a PR. I was quite confident guy when I joined and now I am anxious everyday at work and i am scared that they'll let me go because I won't be able to meet their unrealistic expectations. I also can't stand this senior dev and he can't stand me which makes me really demotivated to work. I have anxiety issues and now I am thinking if I stay, I am gonna mess up big time and they'll fire me or worse. I might break something in production because I didn't have proper onboarding.2
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Continuing my story from this post:
https://devrant.com/rants/1635258/...
So today I've been working on building a backup for my dad's EOL PC by porting his files to a dropbox backup. He didn't have any backup solution to speak of and was running a taxable business...
I don't know what's more frustrating, my old man not having a backup when he knew he was supposed to or the 11 hours to back up everything on dropbox for him.
Time to make some tea and continue my REACT work with this in the background I suppose. :) -
Sometimes i cant fix a bug for days. Like 3 days of brainwreck. Then on the 4th day i wake up. So whatever i love. Take some time for a rest. And then begin working whenever i feel like it. I start working at 2 pm. Try to solve the same bug again. The first thing that comes to my mind is Hold on, why dont i try to change this? I did and it worked. My first thought has solved a 3 day old bug.
Can someone explain this phenomenon. This is proof that a man is unproductive and cant work good if he doesnt feel like it.
You know all of those bullshit andrew tate quotes "i work even when I don't feel like it because that's what men are supposed to do. I train when im happy and i train exactly the same when im unhappy" but thats bullshit. I can not be productive if i am unhappy. I tried so hard and the harder i tried the more i failed. And now when im no longer unhappy i solved it on the first try.
Nobody cares when a man is unhappy. No one gives a shit. It's not fair1 -
My watch gives me periodic reminders to stand up.
I just so happened to be on the crapper at the time. I had just come to the conclusion of my business and before I could, it reminded me to stand up.
For a split second, I was like, man this thing really is living my life for me.2 -
Man i fucking love my current living situation. The people are so fucking nice here, my neighbours almost all go into the same school as me and are therefore technical versed/share the same interests. My School is super awesome due to some of the teachers, where you can learn so much. Really starting to have a passion fo programming although it takes up so much of my freetime, i nearly don't do anything else anymore but I want to learn as much as possible.
It's a super nice day even though I have to study maths all day but fuck it! That doesn't stress me!
And all it really boils down to is how you perceive problems and the like. Either you let it get to you or you don't. Now everyone have a nice day :)4 -
So I got a new laptop today. (Not the one from a previous rant. I cancelled that one) Aaaaaannnndddd touch is completely fucked. On Windows it worked like 25% of the time, Mint doesnt work at all and Ubuntu works like 80% of the time. It feels like the panel gets disconnected at random but thats rather unlikely or the driver is fucked and locks up in a crash sometime. Man I really wish I had the time to dig deeper but I have other things on my plate rn.
Also the latency is kinda odd: Windows has the mouse more than a centimeter away from a moving pen and Ubuntu has it at roughly 3mm.3 -
"Code"
And the website says "Lonely geeky people do need apply"
So I put my on my glasses and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I shook his hand and, I said "I am glad I will be working for you."
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
And the sign says "If you want to use this site you must accept our cookies"
So I found the CEOs address and doxxed him all night!
To put up a dialog and block content from my sight.
If Todd was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, "it just works"
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Oh, say now mister, can't you code
You got to have a laptop and a hoodie to get a job
You can't work, no you can't standup, you ain't supposed to be here
And the website says "You got to have an employee ID to get inside" - yo!
And the website says "Everybody welcome, come in, code and share"
But then they passed around a git pull at the end of it all
And I didn't have a character to code
So I got me laptop and I made up my own fuckin' code
I typed, "Thank you OSS for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", yeah
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Yes! Some old song, called "Code code", I wish we did write that one, but
We didn't - git blame!
Hello World!6 -
Man using Android Studio is a love and hate situation for robotics, just hoping that it will work before competition even though half of the team is riding up my ass about everything just to make the bot work😤
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I don’t know if this is a rant or not. I just wake up with a crazy idea that I have to wake up and try to write code to make it happen. I guess we all do that or else we wouldn’t be on this platform now would we? Anyway, I’m trying to write a word jumble. I am an old school person that still gets a physical newspaper and I love working the word jumbles! Sometimes I’m like Rain Man. I could just look at every word and get them right away, and I wanted to write my own program and slap it on my website - but I am stuck right now! I’m stuck at a point where I can get all the letters from my answer, but how do I get that down to 3 to 4 words to scramble? I tend to go to sleep, thinking about these things trying to figure them out and will usually wake up in the middle of the night get to my computer and finish it, but this one has me spinning! Who else has driven crazy bystuff like this and does anybody know how I might achieve this? It’s in PHP & MySQL. Glad I accidentally found this place!26
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weird thought I have rn...
there are people here and on other social media actually seeing what I write?
people on my other public social media accounts enjoying what I do? what I write? enjoying the music I make sometimes? think my jokes I publish are actually funny?
the internet is wild, man.
also, it's 3:24 am, I can't sleep but I'd find easily people to talk to because time zones are a thing. is time a social construct? it is I think.
what am I even talking about?
idk all I know is that someone is looking at this and I wanna thank you for reading it I guess.
gonna go back to post more dev related stuff soon and also prob gonna change my username because no one can spell it right as I found out lately. no wonder because it came up while smashing my keyboard and making an username out of it. gl @ myself3 -
Just got my new phone today. My old Huawei was acting up, so I replaced it with an island model: an Asus. Man, I have read lots and lots of horror stories about bloatware that came with the previous version of their skin, ZenUI. Their UX people must have been listening, because this phone came with fewer preinstalled apps than any phone I've ever had, and that includes a Nexus 5. And so far the only preinstalled apps I've had to disable are the default keyboard and chrome.
It's as close to AOSP as I've ever had without using a rom. I'm pretty stoked! -
This is kind of a loaded question because it's so broad. So I'll just throw my thoughts down on the idea anyways.
Honestly with all the way that game dev has come it's so sad to see just the increase of people that are so ungrateful and dont appreciate what went into making it. Complaining about small not a big deal bugs that occur, blaming the devs for stuff that's completely not up to them but the "idea man", etc. Although good things are coming out of it. Like children wanting to get into it more which is awesome and indie developers basically holding up the industry while majority of the AAA companies get their shit together. So I see all of that increasing. Also I'm expecting to see the Rust language start to be used in AAA titles replacing C++
Web dev I believe will just get more JavaScript improvement with new libraries, frameworks. I really hope the companies that had PHP5 legacy code get back on their feet quickly. But I hope we can become more accepting of JavaScript doing more than just webdev like Electron, WebGL, etc. Because I think it's great that it can do all that stuff. Is there better options hell yeah but let's let people do crazy shit.
Software dev well I see python making a bigger uprising and I'm hoping people become more accepting of python as well.
These are all just random thoughts so please take that into consideration -
Victor Pelevin is an iconic Russian writer. I won't describe him here (5000 characters is not enough), I just say I think he's one of the greatest if not THE greatest modern author.
Here's the tea (sorry for my bad translation):
"Some of our illusions feel more real than other illusions. A kid is urinating in perfectly real toilet when he's sleeping, he hears a perfectly real sound confirming this, yet he's still unsure.
A grown up, mature man is different only because he also shit himself.
Grown ups have no doubt about reality, that doubt that helps the kid to get closer to the truth. But grown ups have 'scientific explanations' that toilet is real because there is sound of urine, and the sound of urine is real because toilet is made of ceramic, so because of it we all should be working 24/7.
To help grown ups wake up from this 'reality', death exists."2 -
!rant or at least not dev related
I work at a school. Sometimes we get some weird training and shit we have to attend to. This time it had to do with what to do in the event of an active shooter.
Because you know. The U.S IS full of angry white kids with guns that if fucked up enough will just take fire on people.
Well, as a military veteran. I feel pretty confident in knowing what to do when some asshole is trying to get his expert marksman badge on me. So i requested not to waste my valuable time on such bs. I was promptly denied and encouraged to attend the bs training.
The first dumbshit thing they tell you to do is to turn the lights off and hide(if you decide to not fight) for which I mentioned that it would not work.
You see. Our entire buildings have motion sensors on each room which would TURN the fucking lights on if you move........ and even though you can turn the switch on..some offices would still work through the motion sensor....exhibit A: my office.
Fuck this. Couldn't i just keep one of my guns with me?? It would just take about 2 shoots really....and I promise they would stay in.
This sucks man. I need to move to Canadia. I don't want my kids having to hear about "mandatory active shooter training"
That fucking bullshit should never be a norm.
10 bucks and a life says i have better aim than some crazy kid.10 -
Got a call about an entry-level job with Boeing. It was four hours away from where I live though. My wife and I just moved so neither of us feel like picking up and moving again... we literally just finished unpacking yesterday. So another cool opportunity lost. Bummer man. 😒2
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Clearing up my schedule, just got an 18 page resume for the position of mobile lead...
Thanks man I am gonna "read" the whole thing ...Fuck no I did not even read beyond first 4 lines...I got shit to do...like ranting about it...5 -
Have you ever watched Idiocracy? Please do. Especially the smart ones in this platform. I'm afraid it might just be the most accurate forecast of the future of humankind. I've been mentioning this movie for years.
Politics, genZ, etc. - the trend is already there.
I don't have a TV. Mostly bcz I have better things to do with my time than watch ads and tv shows.
In youtube there are people who do reviews of various things. A few days ago my wife came across one that reviews episodes of a tv show that, apparently, is shown on one of the most popular Lithuanian TV channels. It's called Undress. The idea is that 2 people, a man and a woman, meet in a studio in front of a camera, do some small talk and then undress each other. Then they go to a bed in the studio and do various tasks: provokative questions, touching, kissing, etc., occasional slips of nudity
Usually girls are strippers, porn actresses, whores, etc. Guys are salesmen, bus drivers, finance workers, etc.
It's awkward and sad to watch it. But whats even more sad is that it's broadcasted on a TV and people find it entertaining to watch. Even morevsad is that there are people who willingly sign up as participants, knowing the whole nation will be watching and they seem to enjoy it.
W.T.F... Idiocracy11 -
FFS, fucking Fuckbook and their fucking new wall system
I have posts from pages I am particularly not interested in at all (ie, all pages I see), I get a post with the recent Khimbho app story, I proceed to hide all posts from this page, and keep scrolling. The fucking next post is, guess what, another one with the Khimbho thingy, from another page. Hidden again. I have 4-5 more posts like these on my wall, among other posts which I also hide.
I then close my FB tab, and when later on I come back on it:
"ÜBERHOT WHOOPY CONTENT: KHIMBHO APP WAS TAKEN DOWN FROM THE PLAY STORE"
...
<take a deep breath>
...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU STFU GET OFF MY LIFE FUCKING RUBBISH SPAMMY FUCKPAGE TURD CRAP SHOVE YOUR WALL UP YOUR RECTUM AND THROUGH YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM, TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND REPEAT UNTIL YOU'RE TRANSFORMED INTO A FUCKING PILE OF MESS READY TO BE THROWN IN A TRASHCAN SO YOUR CORPSE WILL BECOME HOME TO A SPECIAL BREED OF FLIES THAT WILL HUNT DOWN PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND FUCKING EAT YOU ALIVE
Man I'm pissed. -
Ok, so I'm a student and in my free time, I mostly write a bit of python, C++ and a bit Haskell for fun...
I wanted to try out Android development now...
HOLY FUCKETY FUCK, THIS SHIT TAKES TIME!
most of the time, I get an idea, open vscode and start typing (maybe install some modules for like 10 minutes), not with this: Android studio took hours to download with all the needed SDKs and libraries, then I created a new empty(!) Activity, then fucking Gradle needs hours to get it fucking ready... On a fucking XPS 13 9370!
How do you guys cope with that waiting, does it scale that way to bigger projects?
I would call myself rather patient, but if I have an idea, I don't want to set up the most basic environment for 3 hours...
Man that shit is bulky...4 -
I've posted about this a little in the past but.. my situation is that I got hired by a company as a developer, it turns out it was a lead dev role and they some how believe that I'm a one man army that's gonna finish a really huge web application started by another dev that left the company (apparently out of frustration from what I'm gathering in code comments and other employees)
All of this needs to be done in four months. I have never written a web application from the ground up and have always been subordinant to more competent developers. The team I with speaks mostly French and I can't help but notice the ever increasing social, communication, and cultural divides, being ostracized by people that I need support from because they don't speak great English has been frustrating to say the least. People have taken a step back in other areas which has me concerned they might be wanting to axe me cause I'm not making enough progress. Helppppppp1 -
So I've spent all day chasing around this issue for a coworker who was trying to help a client with a new report they were deploying to their system.
Now I learned a couple of things today because of this. Due to moving buildings, our new network completely broke our report server because the DNS can't resolve it's name. Since we're rewriting this system from the ground up, I haven't been majorly concerned about getting this fixed, but with this coming up, being persistent, I'm glad I figured it out. IT did give us a static IP for this VM, but they never bothered to add a DNS entry for it, so for the past couple of months, this hasn't worked for some reason, and now that's why.
So the root cause of my issue can been seen from 2 directions, the dev of the report, and the dev of the UI that reads it. The dev who wrote this code originally is checking very specifically for 'asc' and 'desc', meanwhile my mans who wrote the report has his order by with 'ASC' where he needs it.
(MAN, THE PREVIOUS DEV WAS GREAT)
I'm glad I was able to help him, but god damn, that took all day, AND TO FIND IT WAS A CAPTIALIZATION ISSUE, AAAAAAAAA FUCK ME -
If I weren't a dev I'd be doing IT support.
Back in 2018 when I was doing level 1 support as part of an internal IT call center, I applied for two jobs elsewhere in the same company, one doing level 2 support and the other in a different department doing cloud infrastructure engineering or whatever they're calling it now. I almost took the support job because the cloud job was really dragging their feet with my final interview with my boss-to-be.
I probably should have taken that as a sign of things to come, since it ended up being such a pain to work for him until our team got moved under a new manager.
The support team starts pressuring me for an answer and I eventually fire off an email to the cloud guys saying, "I already have a job offer and I can't delay any longer. If I can't be interviewed soon then I will have to withdraw my application."
Got my interview the next day, and he made the offer the same day. Turned out to be a very good choice in the long run, but man were the first couple years full of massive frustrations. -
I fucking hate being put on the spot. I'm trying my best over here to learn and improve but I don't know my entire project by memory and how every single little thing works, and it makes me feel like shit constantly having to say "I don't know" when asked about task estimates and work difficulty
Now I've made myself look like an incompetent moron because it's stressful and the one thing I was left in charge of I screwed up
Christ man since when did programming become a social management activity?4 -
I really hate all kinds of tattle that sweeps the hallways of corporations, the gossip behind one's back, BUT this colleague of mine starts pissing me off. Recently joined that team where he should support us getting the Agile thing going. And he can go on for hours of how it should go and how flawlessly it worked in his previous company - all that needless meta talk - so much that a team member jokingly even said: yeah, shut up asshole. But he is all talk. When the name of a library was dropped his experience in using it went to upstream patches. His Linux experience lets us speechless. He is so convincing, I'm even doubting my accusations. Yet his only contribution in code wouldn't show and other team member wasted hours upon hours to recompile plugins to show that shit. Man, just leave us alone watching your youtube live-streams so we can get the shit done.
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Man, I think teaching is sooo hard...
it seems I can only start from two points: or I suppose the person is rock dumb and start sentences like "you know what top means right?"
(this is especially true because I'm not in a English speaking country and all of my references are in English (cuz since I learned it, I think it's easier to find good content in English))
or I go like:
"you only have to create a branch with the feature, the a class that implements the X interface to do this"
when the person doesn't even know how to make a function.
And now, I could convince the boss git is important and we should use it (I'm a intern). Result is: I need to teach git (git above all things, I have to teach git) to the other intern because the two interns will be responsible for taking care of the repos.
Not saying that I will fuck up, but leaving the repos to the interns, is this really a good idea 😂4 -
Serious question.
I’m trying to start my career as an entry level developer. I have had an internship for a short period of time before the company fell apart and had to go back to my retail job to pay the bills. My question is, where are you guys applying to entry level jobs at? Like I have tried LinkedIn. But I looked for entry level and it came up with a 7+ year experience description in my area. Or 2-3 years experience. I’m just trying to find an entry level job man. Like how hard is it to find that? I’m a boot camp grad as well. But even with recruiters it’s so hard to find a job in my area that would take someone on that is so green in tech.
400+ applications and like 50 interviews. Decided to put my specialization in sql and c# and focus more on those because that’s what’s more popular in my area (tulsa, ok). I’m not 100% the best programmer or developer. But man I have the drive to learn and I guess that’s not good enough without experience. I’m at a mental breaking point right now.4 -
|----------------------------------------------------|
| FALSE(1) User Commands |
| |
| NAME |
| false - do nothing, unsuccessfully |
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My daily activity summed up in a linux command man page. -
Man my gf is awesome and actually takes interest in my tech adventures, but she gets so angry when I stay up late coding. So I wrote in a extra line of code in her software to make her more happy. Unfortunately it caused a buffer overflow.
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Soooo I have been taking my learning experience to Hackerrank.com, so that I can give myself some training with actual problems to solve instead of all theory, and today I'm working on one of the Challenges, and and I'm slowly getting it and working at it, then im looking at the code and think man I can clean this up a bit and merge things and make it look pretty! So I slave away and making it look pretty and stuff. I look at the code, all 70 lines of code and I'm so happy with my work. I pressed submit, of course I passed it! I had made sure every bit of my code made sense... After I finish and am so happy, I decide to take a look at what other people answered......
While my answer was 70 lines of code, almost everybody else's was AT MOST 18-20 lines of code!! Uggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Makes me feel like I got a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGG way to go...3 -
WHY does VS code load up Pandas dataframes so damn slowly? It’s bad enough that it seems to take an extra few seconds to get PyQt5 going, but the dataframes are awful, even with small 50 record Parquet files.
I don’t have the attention span to sit there and wait for this without finding myself playing with my phone or surfing.
I guess for debugging and testing I should just create a column A, column B, column C dataframe on the fly and give it some 1, 2, 3 kind of values.
But, Jesus, man... This shouldn’t take 30 seconds to load a simple form. 🙄2 -
Emotionally painful dev learning experience: My laptop (and only computer I had in the area) broke at the worst possible time during university and the guy fixing it fucked it up meaning it took even longer. Combine this with:
*Stuck having to learn Android Studio in two weeks to make a whole-ass app with a professor who didn't know how to make a Hello World and gave us no resources. Pair project so I had someone depending on me to do my part, meaning a lot of sharing their computer just to be able to use Android Studio.
*Having to work on another solo project by using various public and awfully specced university computers. Said project involved real-time 3D graphics and was running at about a third of the speed it should on every machine.
*Realizing how much I depended on my laptop for entertainment and that I basically had nothing that could help me de-stress and relax at home.
*Not knowing when the laptop's spare parts would arrive or if the repair man would give me bad news and even more delays.
*A very poorly timed issue in my relationship.
I know university can be stressful even though it never really affected me before or since but man, those couple of weeks broke me.1 -
I'm getting kicked out during probation period and I'm about to have interview in a new place in the next week or two. During interview, should I be honest tell them or just cover it up? What should I tell them if they are prying?
The problem underlined was communication problem. I'm in charge to maintain old project made by other engineer now an "upper dude". Upper dude and I have different views and at some point he start being unreasonable getting heated up looking down on me provoking me. I took the bait and it doesn't end well. The next day after lunch I'm scheduled with HR and well, fired.
I know he's provoking and I took the bait. At that point I don't know how to improve the situation other than saying yes to him so I just wing it. But if I did say yes, it would slowly cause problem which I'm not willing to handle. Its damn near stupid reason to do it his way and I don't want to do it.
My track record in 2 previous place was great. My concern is what if an HR person be like "Eww this man fail probation. He must be suck". How screwed am I?8 -
Yesterday my lead architect told me that the bin packing problem is easy and all I have to do is add up the volume of each boxes to calculate the number of containers needed.
Fuck this man.4 -
Java Life Rap Video
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
SPOKEN:
In the cubicles representin’ for my JAVA homies…
In by nine, out when the deadlines are met, check it.
CHORUS:
We code hard in these cubicles
My style’s nerd-chic, I’m a programmin’ freak
We code hard in these cubicles
Only two hours to your deadline? Don’t sweat my technique.
Sippin’ morning coffee with that JAVA swirl.
Born to code; my first words were “Hello World”
Since 95, been JAVA codin’ stayin’ proud
Started on floppy disks, now we take it to the cloud.
On my desktop, JAVA’s what’s bobbin’ and weavin’
We got another winning app before I get to OddEven.
Blazin’ code like a forest fire, climbin’ a tree
Setting standards like I Triple E….
Boot it on up, I use the force like Luke,
Got so much love for my homeboy Duke.
GNU Public Licensed, it’s open source,
Stop by my desk when you need a crash course
Written once and my script runs anywhere,
Straight thuggin’, mean muggin’ in my Aeron chair.
All the best lines of code, you know I wrote ‘em
I’ll run you out of town on your dial-up modem.
CHORUS:
‘Cause…
We code hard in these cubicles
Me and my crew code hyphy hardcore
We code hard in these cubicles
It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve seen the 404.
Inheriting a project can make me go beeee-serk
Ain’t got four hours to transfer their Framework.
The cleaners killed the lights, Man, that ain’t nice,
Gonna knock this program out, just like Kimbo Slice
I program all night, just like a champ,
Look alive under this IKEA lamp.
I code HARDER in the midnight hour,
E7 on the vending machine fuels my power.
Ps3 to Smartphones, our code use never ends,
JAVA’s there when I beat you in “Words with Friends”.
My developing skills are so fresh please discuss,
You better step your game up on that C++.
We know better than to use Dot N-E-T,
Even Dan Brown can’t code as hard as me.
You know JAVA’s gettin’ bigger, that’s a promise not a threat,
Let me code it on your brain
WHISPERED:
so you’ll never forget.
CHORUS:
We code hard in these cubicles,
it’s the core component…of what we implement.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Straight to your JAVA Runtime Environment.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Keep the syntax light and the algorithm tight.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Gotta use JAVA if it’s gonna run right.
We code hard in these cubicles
JAVA keeps adapting, you know it’s built to last.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Robust and secure, so our swag’s on blast
CODE HARD1 -
Finding it hard to focus. I'm into UI, backend, frontend, iOS... Exploring FP. We've just had our first child and I need to put my time and energy into what will a) provide healthy financial remuneration b) be more enjoyable than frustrating c) be relatively futureproof (if that's even possible). For some reason I have a huge distaste for JavaScript (as an ecosystem) which has led me to look into Elm. I've enjoyed Ruby but something in my mind tells me Functional programming is more logical for me. It's a whole new approach and skill to level-up on. I love programming my own back-ends, but for me, design is so important and I want to be part of the visual, tangible part that people interact with. I'm a one-man operation which means I do design, full stack Development, client liaison, financials, client acquisition. Freelancing is a double edged sword - I don't know when the next project will come, but I also need to focus on the projects I have without taking too much on. At times I think employment would be good, despite having it's on drawbacks which I read about repeatedly on here. Any advice?1
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!tech
I have this bad habit of never taking decisions without discussing. For risky, highly impactful decisions, ig this is a good approach, but when you are trying to be a host, or taking some very basic decisions like ordering food, or booking a time slot, i would ask opinion of all the parties involved.
I sometimes cross the line of being considerate to being bothering, irritating and unreliable with my debating nature.
I Don't know why but i for every situation i feel having a second opinion is necessary and good.For eg, Once i was my sister and our flight got cancelled due to bad weather.
I had to choose : either take the next available flight booked by the same airlines for free, which was around 26 hours later, or book the next flight from another airlines which was in 2 hours but costed twice. we were in a different state, and my middle-class/opportunity deprived brain was seeing a path for both choices, but i thought of consulting sis and she lost her mind. she got scared, she started regretting all our choices, the airway travels , everything.
if i had just taken the decision of going with the 2 hour late flight, i would hav saved myself from so much drama.
How to fucking man up in a decision making situation?8 -
So I wasted about 20 minutes yesterday because I forgot to look where I was plugging in my SD card...
I use a mid-2011 model iMac (with the CD and SD ports on the side), so, thinking I knew where the correct slot was, I attempted to put my SD card into the computer. Oh the adrenaline rush when I realized that the SD card didn't normally go all the way in...
So then I spent the next 20 minutes finding and poking various tools into the CD drive in order to fish out my 32 gig SD. Eventually I just ended up using two bent paperclips, but man, was that an adventure. -
:D
This one is funny for me because my current team lead and I have a really comical dynamic regarding reviews.
I can't say I've ever really had a bad experience but I brought up one stand up about how he had rejected my PR and that he was probably just going to reject the next one. So now it's this joke if I get a PR through in one review (which is usually).
One time he spiked a ping pong ball towards me in a match and I replied, "Hey whoa man, this isn't a code review calm down!". 😂 -
How stupid am i?
1. I tried to learn programming language.
- It just so freaking hard for me to understand. Failed at logic.
2. Tried to learn aws.
- Technically know how it works but often forgot the services name. (Was thinking to get aws cert).
3. Tried to learn OpenSource DB.
- Can do up to db setup only. Else i didnt understand sh*t.
4. Tried to learn cybersecurity.
- Ended up bunch of unwanted process in my vm.
I was envy that some of my friend only read documentation once & he is like know what to do.
Guys, any pro tips for poor man here?
I want to code, but somehow i stuck.
I feel dumb...12 -
It's an oldie, but 1 of my favs :
QA expert decides to go out and have some fun. He walk for a whle spots a random bar and gets inside. After a solid 10+ minutes just looking critically arrond he dicides to stay. Goes to the barplot and orders :
- One beer por favor!
- Here you go - says the barman and continues his job. The man drinks it up quickly and orders again :
- 3 more beers ahora mismo!
- Enjoy - says the barman while serving them.
a few moments later...
- Hey barman, last order and we can round the night up, what ya say?
- ok - simply replies the barman.
- -5 beers!