Latest update for the devRant app has some new twists: 1) collabs are now free for all 2) black theme is available for devRant++ members 3) when posting a rant we now ask for you to classify the rant as a specific type of post. RIP !rant :/ To be clear, this isn't meant to say that any posted content needs to be different than what everyone is doing already, just that the extra categorization helps all parties who like or dislike different types of content. This categorization will help better inform the algo and allow for advanced filtering which is coming soon.

If you have any questions, comments or concerns please ask me or @dfox in this thread.

I want to pay respects to my favourite teacher by far.

I turned up at university as a pretty arrogant person. This was because I had about 6 years of self-taught programming experience, and the classes started from the ansolute basics. I turned up to my first classes and everything was extremely easy. I felt like I wouldn't learn anything for at least a year.

Then, I met one of my lecturers for the first time. He was about 50~60 years old and had been programming for all of his career. He was known by everyone to be really strict and we were told by other lecturers that it could be difficult for some people to be his student.

His classes were awesome. He was friendly, but took absolutely no shit, and told everything as it was. He had great stories from his life, which he used to throw out during the more boring computer science topics. He had extremely strict rules for our programming style, and bloody good reasons for all of them. If we didn't follow a clear rule on an assignment, he'd give us 0%. To prove how well this worked, nobody got 0%.

We eventually learned that he was that way because he used to work on real-time systems for the military, where if something didn't work then people could die.

This was exactly what I needed. In around one semester I went from a capable self-taught kid, to writing code that was clear, maintainable and fast, without being hacky.

I learned so much in just that small time, and I owe it all to him. So often when I write code now I think back to his rules. Even if I disagree with some, I learned to be strict and consistent.

Sadly, during the break between our first and second year, he passed away due to illness. There was so many lessons still to be learned from him, and there's now no teachers with enough knowledge to continue his best modules like compiler writing.

He is greatly missed, I've never had greater respect for a teacher than for him.

In a meeting after I explained that the user passwords will be encrypted before we save them in the database

Them: "Please don't do that, we don't want to change our clients data"

Me: " so we should save the clear text?"

Them: "Yes"

😒

Client: Our meeting is going to be on March 27th at 9am. Clear your schedules and add it to your calendar.

Me: I'm not sure why this wasn't cleared with me, but I'm 3 hours behind you guys and that will be 6am for me. If you want to have a meeting at that time, I'll be sleeping.

Client: We start our days early, so we need you to make yourself available at that time. We have other stuff on our agenda so this is the time it will be taking place.

Me: I will not, repeat will not be available at that time. I have the 29th and 30th available at that time, but any day before that will have to be scheduled at 1pm or later. Mondays however are a no go. We have standing appointments on Mondays that we cannot reschedule.

Client: Monday, April 2nd at 9am is the new time. Please clear that time.

Our Company owner: we just said Mondays are a no go.

Client: we're getting frustrated that you are not being flexible with your schedule. Here is what you are going to do. Give us a calendar with every day and time you have available and we'll tell you what works.

Owner: We just gave you a bunch of dates. We're the ones trying to be flexible while you've been dictating what time's we've been available. That's not how this works. Mondays aren't happening. The 27th isn't happening because I'm not going to expect my developer to get up at 6am because it's convenient for you. This is a not a one way street. Let us know when you're ready to find a date and time that works for all of us.

----

This is the same guy I argue with on a daily basis and tell to fuck off when he's being a douche, but when it matters, he's pretty badass dude.

Someone Asks me : "Will programmers be needed in the future if AI is already created code?"

Your question clearly tells one thing; you have no idea what programing is about and how it is done.

For starters, software already writes code. In every major codebase there are lots of files with auto-generated code. Auto-generated code is something a program have written to provide interface to a service for the rest of the codebase. So code already writes code - if the purpose of the code is clearly defined.

The problem is that users rarely know what they actually want, and even if they know it, they are rarely capable of creating a clear enough specification of what they want.

Please don't make junior developers feel they're a burden.
Have you ever googled "how to mentor junior developers"? It's quite mind-blowing how many articles, talks and panels are on this topic. And yet still junior developers are not feeling welcomed in their companies.
Yup, you guessed it, we also have something to add (based on our own experience):

1. Asking for help is not easy. Please don't blow juniors off by telling them to read docs when they ask a question. Always assume they've read it and did a sprint to solve the problem. They ask you, because they see you as a mentor and really need your help. If you can, spend more time with them and guide through the entire problem solving process.

2. Please don't think "I learnt it this way so you should too". If you're in charge of teaching a junior developer, don't expect them to be a carbon copy of yourself. Because even though in your opinion your approach is more "pro", they might not be there yet to use it properly. And last, but not least:

3. Of course, juniors will compare themselves with seniors on their team. And there'll be moments they feel so guilty and so afraid that they cost the company too much, that they need training, and supervision, or are between projects and are not bringing in any money, and they'll fear that their company regrets hiring them. Make sure they don't feel like a burden. As juniors, we often
have this misconception what is expected from us.

Dear tech companies, please set very clear expectations and tell your juniors you're happy. Don't get us wrong here. We don't expect unicorns, roses and pats on the back from companies. We do understand- this is business, and at the end of the day we all are here to make money. To do so, companies need to make smart investments. Junior dev with a great assistance, planned support, and a clear training program will become a great asset. It really is as simple as that.

A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:

On tech debt:

So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.

In other news:

Today a team of a total of six developers helf a 45 minute meeting to decide upon the name of a class.

It was later made clear that the class would be renamed anyway later in production.

I'm gonna be honest with you guys.

I need a friend. A real friend. And I'm looking for one (or many) among you.

Is any of you interested in being my friend?

I know, it sounds weird. My inner self bully is bringing to mind many adjectives for saying that: faggot, weak, snowflake, gay, pussy, clingy, demanding.

I know. But I'm at the edge of 30 and I think it's better if I cut the shit and just be very clear about the type of friend I'm looking for.

I need people that will be there when the shit gets tough.

I can joke with you,
I can laugh my ass off with you,
I can passionately argue about what's the better programming language.

But most importantly, I can be there when you're depressed, when you want to punch your boss in the face, when you're griefing a loved one that is gone.

And that exactly what I'm looking in a friend.

I used to have friends in life, but a variety of circumstances caused some distance: commitments, personality changes, physical distance, or just a feeling that they don't give two shits about me.

Am I the perfect friend? Not at all. I have a temper and am quite opinionated about my tools, but most of the times I try to be a not-asshole.

I might get angry and be very honest when I don't like something, but it would be very weird for me to turn my back on a friend.

It is impossible for someone to be friends with and to like everyone. But the least I can do is just give anyone a chance.

I think friendships are just things that take time and grow if there is enough care put into them.

Here's my discord chirptune#1829, so if you add me, please let me know your username here.

I think it'd be cool to have like a brotherhood on discord or slack of people looking out for each other (jesus christ, that sounds corny as fuck)

Not to rob people from devrant, I just think that the board style can't fulfill deeper social needs imo, that's all.

I have a client (a friend of a friend of a friend) who came to me to build them a "simple" booking solution for their home cleaning business. Easy enough, I first thought.

Having taken a deposit based on my initial quote and contracts all signed, roll on exactly 8 months to where I find myself today.

It turns out, there is no cleaning business as the business will be totally reliant on the website. The original goalposts have now been moved to a completely different fucking country. The (now) required functionality has STILL yet to be finalised (I told client I'm not writing another line of code until EVERYTHING has been mapped out and made crystal clear), as every single face-to-face meeting / back and forth email turns into the client requesting hundreds more brilliant, essential features that make absolutely ZERO fucking sense. And now, to top it all off and push me into writing my first ever rant on here, I've just received an email from the client this morning saying "what I would like to have is like an online restaurant live booking system". WTF?!?!?

I work from home and have only my dog for company today, so please don't judge me. Just needed to let it all out.

Paypal Rant #3

One day I'll go to Paypal HQ and...
... change all the toilet rolls to face the wrong way
... remap all the semicolons to be the Greek equivalent character
... change all the door signs so they say "pull" instead of "push" and vice versa
... modify all the stairs to have variable heights
... programmatically shuffle the elevator buttons and randomly assign the alarm key to any of the most visited floors
... pour cocoa onto all the keyboards and wipe them off cleanly
... attach clear duct tape over their mouse sensors and insert really weak batteries or mess with their cables

I'll wait a day or two until they experience a sudden shortage of developers, then bombard them with thousands of fake applications from seemingly amazing candidates, then write an AI bot to continue argumentation with HR.

I'll wait another week or so until the company dissolves and with them, all my issues in life.

No need to be overly vulgar this time because you all know the deal. I hate this fucking company. Please Paypal do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

me: Just to be clear, we're only supporting chrome?
boss: Yes.

* few days later *

QA: I have a lot of bugs to report, the bosses asked me to test the app in all browsers

Hubby and I work for the same company. His boss is a twat who's always trying to fire him. Told my hubby's boss he needed to be more clear with expectations and bring issues up before he gets pissed and can't respond appropriately. Then I walk away. Then I email him apologizing for taking to him and that I'm not planning to talk to him again.

That little bitch went to HR and said he felt threatened by me, demanded that I be required to work from home. My boss said no.

Aaaaaaahahahahahahahahahha 😂

I could be wrong, but I believe all devs love a clear section saying

"Getting Started" to any form of documentation

My first dev job. Me and another guy get hired at the same time. He will be the lead dev, and I’ll be the junior dev on a long term project. Project gets delayed (and eventually canceled, but that’s a different story), so the lead dev decides to give me programming challenges to test my skill level. I successfully complete the challenges, but they aren’t up to his standards. Belittles me in front of our manager. Afterwards I ask him to show me how he would have done it. The dude can barely type let alone show me the way it should be done. I say nothing to the manager.

A few weeks pass, it’s clear the project we were hired for is canceled, so we are given other work. They task the lead dev with porting the company website to Wordpress so non-devs can alter content. They chose Wordpress mainly because the lead dev said he is familiar with it. Two weeks later, no progress has been made. They ask me if I can do it, and I do it in 2 days including additional functionality that was requested. Manager asks me why I thought lead dev couldn’t do what I did. I said, “I don’t think lead dev knows what the fuck he is doing. I don’t think he knows how to program.” Manager says, “Huh.”

Several months later lead dev is still there, but has yet to work on any projects with any success. They finally let him go.

Glad to finally get that off my chest.

“Our code is our documentation - it’s produced in such a way as to be explanatory, logical and clear, and annotated if/where needed”

Really?? That's the reply you give me when I asking API documentation for handover ?

Dear Programming Languages,

if you only support weakly typed constructs, I wish you a special place in hell.

Dear Fellow Developers,

if you use a language that allows strong typing with weak typing, the next time we will meet after I have to fix a shitty bug due to that I will play piano on your teeth, and a melody you won't like.

And yes, that means PHP as well. PHP allows for strict types since php7.

So. Just. Fucking. Use. It.

There are no excuses!

I don't care if you don't see the benefit or find it "annoying" and tedious to write it out. Use a decent editor and it will be mostly code-completion anyway.

I just don't want to fix your fuckups. And if your fuckup is due to a typing issue that "slipped" by, you are part of the problem.

If you write software, it should be clear what type each and every variable or object has.

There are no excuses but your laziness.

If you want to be ambiguous, try poetry.

So this is going to be one hell of a FUCKING rant.
Just heard from a friend (doing the same exams I passed, it was going to happen in two groups and he was in the second) that he failed the first out of three phases. And why?
I NEARLY FUCKING FAILED THE FIRST FUCKING PHASE. I GOT A FAIR CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT AND I TOOK THAT CHANCE.
BUT.
MY FRIEND MADE THE SAME MISTAKE. HE MISSED A FUCKING DOCUMENT AND ASKED FOR OVERTIME, WHICH HE GOT AND THEN HE ASKED THE EXAMINOR VERY NICELY IF HE COULD TELL HIM WHAT DOCUMENT HE MISSED (for the record, it was bad documentation and it was not clear that it had to be a seperate document) AND WHAT DID THAT FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER SAY?
Hmm hmm hmmm.... nope, that's your responsibillity

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HE HELPED ME BUT NOT HIM? I KNOW YOU LIKE ME MORE THAN HIM BUT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING REASON TO LET HIM FUCKING FAIL?!?!?!?

I AM MOTHERFUCKING FUCKITY FUCKING FURIOUS.

Infinite loop...

Got a story assigned with no requirements listed this sprint. Since I finished the rest already I was like, lets be pro-active and see what it's about during the stand-up.

Me: Hi, I only have story X remaining, what's it about, there are no requirements listed in Jira?
SM: Yeah person Y is going to reach out to you with the reqs.
Me: Ok, when is Y going to reach out?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, so why is the story included in this sprint then?
SM: Because they want X implemented this sprint.
(Me wondering if the Scrum Master is familiar with infinite loops, thinking let's try this out)
Me: Ok, if X should be completed, can Y reach out to me with the requirements?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, why is the story included in this sprint then?

Stand-up lasted a lil' longer today... Hope the SM got the message not to assign stories without reqs or clear communication anymore.

!rant
I must be dreaming .... Honestly! I am with a client that knows what he wants and has no problem to express it in clear words. They understand my tech talk and talk back in tech as well. We are on the same page regarding best practises. They envy my work and have really good ideas and express constructive criticism. What is going on here? I must be in a parallel universe or something?
Okay, one downside... Coffee is not free but a cup is 20ct, which is quite alright imho anyway. Oh, the even bigger downside... Things have been so constructive that my time there is almost over since shit got actually done in the most efficient way ever!

ok people where is the gender equality??? why do people assume that im studying tourism when its so clear that i am not
cant a girl be a programmer and not the girly ground stewardess checking-in the baggages at the airport?

programming isnt only for men. women can also be great developers because we can be as capable as men. people need to stop the stereotypes jeez

WTF is up with open-source projects using emojis in their commit messages... FUCKING emojis..

I get it, programming is fun and a hobby to many, but can we also keep at least a minimum level of professionalism here.

WTF is a wheelchair or bento emoji at the beginning of a commit message supposed to mean? Why the hell even bother to use it in the first place? There is no fucking reason for this retarded shit.

Is this what happens when activist developers get out of their way to make programming "inclusive"?

It is your personal project and so if you want to use emojis it is OK, I respect that (not really) but I can't trust your code, your commitment, or the quality of your work if I see those dumb Unicode characters there.

Git commit messages are not a game. Be playful with comments in code or your readme.md file but git messages should be a clear reflection of the changes not what a teenager's phone vomited on the keyboard.

Get your code reviewed by as many good devs as you can. Tell them to be harsh, swallow your pride, expect the code to be torn apart. Then rinse and repeat.

It brings the "know it all" fresh grads down a peg or two, and often brings those with low self esteem up a peg or two (when they realise their code is better than they thought.) Anyone can write code that works. But writing decent, clear, well-tested code that stands up to scrutiny is a different ball game - and it's important to learn that quickly.

For fucking once in my life I decide to go very early to bed so I can be 100% clear in my head for today's meetings. What happens is the following:
1. going to bed at 10pm.
2. Falls asleep relatively fast (yay)
3. Wakes up at 1am
4. Has a major headache and gets dizzy when I get up to go take a leak
5. Grabs a huge glass of water
6. Goes to sleep again
7. Wakes up at 3am with major headache and gets dizzy when I get up again.
8. Grabs another huge glass of water and goes back to sleep.

It's now 4:36am and I'm wide awake, with no headache, and no ability to sleep apparently. F... M... L!!!

Ask questions during interview.
Ask about trainings - it's usually a good sign when company offers training budget. Ask about specifics - sometimes it's a shared pluralsight account, and nothing else, which means that that had an idea and half assed it into existence.
Ask tech recruiter about overtime, a good sign is when they have no idea or say that it must be budgeted and scheduled - it means that it does not happen often.
Ask if it is possible to select and change projects, and how often it happens - if often, it may be bad low level management, or people learning new things and jumping between projects.
Also make sure to ask about rules for promotions and pay rises. Good company wił have a clear set of rules in place.
All of the above apply to mid to large companies.
For small company, i'm sure it will be different.

Java in 2000: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my kid

Java in 2020: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my dad

I was stuck with an architectural problem for a few days. Tried to solve it in many different ways. I could always do a quick hack and call it a day, but.. That's not pretty and it would be a trip wire for future developments.

Went to bed at ~2am. Took a few hours before I finally fell asleep. In my dream I was solving the same problem as in real life, except there I found an obvious and simple solution. Woke up at 8am, repeated that solution to myself a few times to not to forget it. Implemented it in the evening and it worked perfectly!

Moral of the story: do not work late. Better go to sleep, rest your mind. You might solve the problem while resting, and you will need a clear mind in the morning to remember and implement the solution :)

p.S. This happened to me more than once.

when you wake up saturday noon just to see your phone having 10 missed calls from the same unrecognized number, dial back and find it to be a mad client,
complaining about some graphic issues on a site you have nothing to do with.

checking the site; there is nothing wrong so you tell him to clear his browser cache.

he gets mad shouting a silly programmer shall not tell him what to do with his computer and its the site, not his browser.

i ask him if there is the same issue with another browser or computer..
he giggles a little then turn silent..

2mins or so later, he says: i'm gonna let your boss know about this then hangs up..

In this episode of "office drama", we have the head secretary asking me if I want to contribute to the gift for the baby of some guy I don't know well. (I'm new to the office btw)
When I refuse, saying that I don't know him well enough to want to contribute, she says "that's okay, but we won't be collecting for a gift for you once you have a baby. We want to be a '''team''' ".

😐

I just said "that's fair", but maaaaaaaan! Since when is it okay to demand that someone participates in a gift, while ignoring their social or financial circumstances? 😤

Update: went to her office to talk about this "being a part of the team" and clear things up. She said, and I quote "I don't have time for this". And by that, swords have been unsheathed. I guess there is no pleasing some people.

Add no comments or documentations whatsoever during my initial years of coding (when actually I used to write code worse than a constipated elephant's shit).. In my mind I would be like "This is quite clear-cut.. A first grader will be able to understand this code.."

But then I had to debug my own code barely some 1-2 months later and I figured out the importance of good comments and documentation..

31st December 2016, I had signed up for devRant.

It's my cake day today. Feels so good to be part of this community, have learned so much, made some of the greatest friends here.

2021 was a mind fuck. Taxing and draining. Very little growth and even less learnings.

I realised that I am in a toxic environment.

Lately, no philosophy, therapy, supplements, activity, work, etc. has been helping me to get back to my original self.

I used to spiral down with a lot of negative self talk and playing the victim card.

Just day before yesterday, I decided to listen to some affirmations on the Tube and that actually helped me bounce back.

I started socialising and stepping out to attend gigs and just be outdoors as much as I could.

My surroundings changed and so did my thought process.

Hence, I made a decision to continue affirmations and slowly change my surroundings, even if that demand domestic relocation.

Things are starting to look positive after a long, loooooong, time.

I also need more sun exposure for my vitamin D3 deficiency and steady dose of serotonin.

I feel lot clear in head and heart. My goals are clearer and I am ready to start working hard and be my original past self again.

I love you all and I really wish you all achive all your wishes and dreams, be happier and healthier in 2022 with ton of success and money.

For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.

Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!

Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."

Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 1

I just got memo/warning for swearing too much.

Should i submit my resignation now?

Just to be clear, im not swearing AT someone. You guys know how it is when we're in the zone. Headphones on, focus intensifies, errors encountered, a lot of shits and fucks are uttered, most of the time shouted.

For being a community based around developers, the amount of people managing to fuck up Windows and then blaming the OS while both my 9 year old brother and the old next door lady keeps theirs running perfectly fine will always be a mystery to me. If you are a developer stop making excuses of how a operating system works and get clever enough to work with it instead of against it. I've been using and developing on Windows for the past 7 years and to be frank rarely do I ever encounter the shit some people post here, mind boggling I would even say pebcak. And just to be clear, I'm not a fanatic, Linux is a beautiful OS.

There I had to get that off my chest, have a nice day.

When you try to clear term in messenger.

Fuck my life. I shouldn't be allowed to programming before midday.

Being asked (or more accurately made!) to travel Mon-Fri (i.e. staying away from home) for at least 2 months to a customer's site to work on a completely insane project that had no design, formal requirements, preparation or support. It was just a "friendly side project" 2 friendly managers concocted.

After some research, the project wasn't actually technically possible, but the customer wanted it so I had to try to find a solution.

The complication for me was that my wife was almost 8 months pregnant with our first kid and I made it clear I really wanted to be at home. Was left to feel I had little choice but to go. Project runs over but damnit I'm taking my 3 weeks parental leave entitlement.

Day before I'm due to go back to work, I get an email saying "You'll be travelling tomorrow for the next few weeks". At that point, I replied with the most angry work email I've ever sent and threatened that if that was the case I wouldn't be back. Plans were changed.

I ended up leaving within a couple of months anyway.

!rant;

I'm so sad today. I completely lost my confidences in what I do. I recently I created an app , spent 72 hours doing that , made the app as simple as possible, The intention is clear , to help those who are in need during this pandemic.

Recently my country have the campaign (initiate by the people) raising white flags for help (food, financial help). Since our government begin to arrest those who raise their flag for help and summoned them for MYR 3000 .

So I thought making a platform where people can raise their flag digitally might be easy, but I go rejected .

Well in Malaysia, No one give a fuck about you unless you are a celebrity . Sometimes I wish I am , therefore I do changes. But unfortunately I am just a 25 year old self taught software engineer but not someone with PHD or fame .

Fuck me.

how to become a true scum master:

- formulate jira tasks for your inferiors as vague as possible, best they don't make any sense

- before sprint start, ask the subhuman being to estimate storypoints, and if they say they can't really tell with this description and choose the highest estimate, say "okay, let's estimate it to one sprint length", so they can actually work on it within one sprint (which makes total sense)

- if the scum dares to question the content of the ticket and begs for more details, be like teflon and give no useful answer at all. if they continue asking for a meeting to discuss the ticket, tell them to have a meeting with a coworker about it (who also has no clue). don't be available for them because you have more important stuff to do.

- bully them during daily standups that they didn't create clear subtasks from this task and criticize them because you have no idea what they are doing. tell them they are having performance issues and suspect them to sit on their lazy asses all day.

- criticize the team in general for bad performance, bad item tracking and never say something nice, to make sure everybody loses even the last bit of intrinsic motivation for the project.

stay tuned to learn how to make yourself a skull throne out of those filthy dev smartasses ^.^

*gets annoyed by how vi command in Ubuntu WSL points to vim*
To be clear, that's due to update-alternatives in Ubuntu, not WSL specifically.
*le me ducking how to install vi instead, because vim in WSL has scrolling issues*

"install vi ubuntu"
> How do I install and get started with vim/vi? - Ask Ubuntu
> apt - Vim installation in Ubuntu 14.04 - Ask Ubuntu
> Ubuntu Linux: Install vim Text Editor - nixCraft

-.- I'm not looking for vim ffs, I already have that installed.

"install vi ubuntu -vim"
> Same fucking results

"!g install vi ubuntu -vim"
> Installing the VI Perl Toolkit from Source Code—Linux - VMware
> FedoraDirectoryServerClientHowto - Community Help Wiki - Ubuntu …
> Learn How To Use Linux vi Editor And Its Commands - LinOxide

Oh for fuck's sake!!!
So here's my question because apparently search engines clearly can't point me to it, and Ubuntu doesn't seem to have vi as "vi" in their repositories either. Do our Canonical overlords allow people to actually make /usr/bin/vi actually be fucking vi?

*One day at office sitting at my desk coding in front of a window with a refreshing breathe of fresh air coming from it, and a decent view of trees in front of the building*

CEO: would you like to be sitting together with the other dev?
Me: that would be awesome!

- next day -

*come to work to see my stuff has been moved over next to the always open door, with clear view of the lobby, prone to all kinds of nonstop distractions, and psychologically lethal ambiance*

ceo: YOU TWO ARE SITTING TOGETHER NOW, AREN'T YOU PSYCHED??

me: WELL CANT SAY PSYCHED, BUT A PSYCHO SOON HAHAHA >fucking asshole<

Dev: The requirement is not clear. This seems to be a general usecase which you are thinking we might need but we won't actually need it.

Manager: You have to do it. This is the requirement. No other option. Don't ask any questions.

...... One week later....

Manager: Why is the team not open to me?

I'm starting to think we might need a global union for developers. I have been reading the comments today and it looks like a lot us getting way underpaid.

New features should be a moment of joy if they are released. So far so good. People really liked the idea of working together on opensource project. The app is updated. But then we encountered a major problem. It looks like some of us are getting so underpaid that they can't pay for the 14 dollar it cost to start the opensource project they want. We must rebel against this.

14 dollar, how much is 14 dollar. How many hobbies cost 14 dollar to start up. From running to collecting stamps. Its going to cost you more And how many hobbies are you as passionate about as your own open source project.

The next great thing is that it is show in the place where developers are eagerly looking to join a opensource project. And will probably join you're product because I'm sure between all of us there are tons of wonderfull ideas just waiting to be build.

And for me personal I do not mind supporting an app that I use almost every day. And just keeps growing without annoying ads.

So you should be more then willing to pay 14 dollars. And are ready to start recruiting your team.

And if you really can't pay. Your house burned down, you needed it for food. Your only pc is beyond saving. You can be a positive force in this community and do pay with upvotes.

But if you are to much a cheapskate to pay 14 dollars well, I think I was clear enough.

Microsoft Teams can burn.

Their latest feature ? Well, turns out that when I get notifications on mobile that I do not get on desktop BECAUSE I AM FUCKING INTERACTING WITH THE CHAT OR CHANNEL THAT SENDS ME MOBILE NOTIFICATION, the notifications do not clear themselves. Oh, no, that would be too smart.

So EACH FUCKING EVENING I sit and browse all the fucking notifications to see if there is anything noteworthy I need to act on, or if it is a dead notification from earlier today.

Dear Lord, Microsoft are fucking experts at TAKE A WORKING FEATURE AND BRAKE IT.

Just to be clear:
I don't hate Zuckerberg,
I hate Facebook.
Always respect a guy who can put money together like it's a python list compression.

That feeling when the business wants you to allow massive chunks of data to simply be missing or not required for "grandfathered" accounts, but required for all new accounts.

Our company handles tens of thousands of accounts and at some point in the past during a major upgrade, it was decided that everyone prior to the upgrade just didn't need to fill in the new data.

Now we are doing another major upgrade that is somewhat near completion and we are only just now being told that we have to magically allow a large set of our accounts to NOT require all of this new required data. The circumstances are clear as mud. If the user changes something in their grandfathered account or adds something new, from that point on that piece of data is now required.
But everything else that isn't changed or added can still be blank...
But every new account has to have all the data required...

WHY?!

“I suck as a coder. I have no business writing a single function. None of what I’m doing is working. I should be fired and nobody should ever hire me again.”

*Remembers to clear caches and it works right the first time*

“I’m a pretty great coder.”

"I met with a potential client today and part of their opening gambit was how they were looking for revolutionary work delivered within a tight timescale, and if the work could be done a reduced rate then they’d be able to send a load more work our way. … They were saying that they wanted work that was fast, good, and cheap. And if the work was fast, good, and cheap enough, the reward would be the offer of more work that is fast, good, and cheap. … Let me be clear about this, these people are evil, and their work is poison. " - Hoss Gifford

!rant #meta: I registered just yesterday and woke up this morning with 44 notifications, which is great because this community is obviously refreshingly active, plus I really love getting notifications. Nevertheless, is it really necessary to create an individual notification for EVERY SINGLE +1?! Dear devRant devs, I love what you're doing. But please, PLEASE, merge/group these notifications into just a few. I don't want to go through every single one of these, it's just cluttering my notification list. I always just clear the list and then use the in-app bell symbol to navigate to whatever item I'm interested in. I can't be the only one.

When you want to get stuck into coding, but you just KNOW someone is waiting to interrupt you. It could be 5 minutes from now, 10 minutes or 45. You don't know. You can hear their breathing and their footsteps, just waiting for you to get deep into your code.

So you sit there looking for pointless short term crap to do until you know it's clear to start work.

how often does it happen that you have to prevent terrible architectural decisions from being made, because people who are in charge but obviously have no clue, make really weird suggestions and are really confident that this is a good idea?

PM: so please analyze functionalities X with dev Y, since module Y that dev Y develops shall provide these functionalities.
me: as i said yesterday, module Y will use my module X and shouldn't care about how this is going to be implemented.
PM: yeah, but module Y shall be able to... (lists some functionalities)
me: yes, that's what i'm currently working on in module X. my current state of the API can be used in a way that... (lists different low level functions and how a combination of them can be used to provide these functionalities)
PM: okay, hmm... i just realize that module Y will actually be a user of module X...

well.... yeah?!!
i always thought that was crystal clear?? 🤦‍♀️

I am currently in a bit of a (well-deserved) lull at work, both of my projects are finishing up/ finished, so tomorrow should be pretty light, as the latter half of today was.

And I have really gotten interested in the HTTP protocol. It's so interesting learning how it all works under the hood.

So I think I'm going to be researching/ messing around with creating a cpp project that essentially implements cURL from the ground up, creating sockets, reading from them, parsing the HTTP requests... all that. I don't expect to actually get it done, but it should be an immense learning experience. I have a clear goal: implement this function:

std::string get(const std::string&);

Once I'm able to just GET as simple as that, I know I have achieved my goal!

The co-worker in my office that gets nudes from his ex girlfriend via web messenger.
(To be clear the distraction is not the co-worker 😂)

Applied to a Jr. Dev job and was hired as a Digital Marketer — I can deal with this, I’m AdWords & Analytics certified. What I can’t abide is that I spent the last year working my ass off learning to code and the person next to me with the Jr. Dev position only uses DIVI and has zero inclination to study, learn or write basic HTML & CSS—much less PHP. I’m not an expert by any means but I love programming, I love the problem solving, the challenges and the culture of it all. So far, and these are only two examples, I’ve shown him how to use the target attribute to open a page as a new tab, and how to register a nav in the functions.php file to create a menu but he is unwilling to even attempt it. Rather, he told me that I was too technical and that no one would be using code in this day and age.

For the record, I think DIVI is a cool platform, it’s clear that my boss knows nothing about code to be fair and I love my job— this is my only issue so far😂 I just needed to rant.

There is a company providing a very speciffic service. And it has a core application for that svc, supported by a core app team.
That company also has other services, which are derivations of the core one. So every svc depends on core.

Now that we're clear on that... I was working in a team of one of the subservices. We very strongly depended on core. In fact, our svc was useless if integration w/ core broke down.

The core team had an annoying habbit. They refused to version their webservices and they LOVED to push api updates w/o any warnings. Our prod, test, other envs used to fail bcz of core api changes quite often. Mgmt, IT head was aware of the problem and customers' complaints as well.

So as a result, once core api changes we're all in a panic mode: all prior priorities are lowered and revival of prod is to be our main focus. Core api is not docummented, the changes are not clear, so we have to reverse engineer the shit out of it. We manage to patch our prod up w/ hotfixes, but now we have tech debt. While working on the debt, core api changed again, in test env. Mgmt pushes debt back and reallocates us to hotfix test. Hotfix is 80% done when another core api breaks. Now mgmt asks us to drop wtv we're working on and fix that new break. By the time we're to deploy the hotfix, another api breaks in another env. The mgmt..... You get the picture :)

2 years go by, nothing has changed so far.

Has anyone ever ordered off RedBubble? Are they even a legitimate company?

Rant...

20 days ago I ordered a package from redbubble.com

They shipped the package, without an apartment number. So the delivery was refused and it was sent back to them.

I reach out to support and they ask me to send them a complete mailing address and my order number.

I send them my exact mailing address and the order number as they requested. They inform me that the package is being sent out again ASAP.

This morning I see that the new package has shipped, WITH NO FUCKING APARTMENT NUMBER.

I email them to let them know this. They inform me that since it has my zip code it will be fine (which is a ridiculously stupid this to say).

So I actually call the post service and ask them if the address will work, they let me know that of course, it will not get to me if there is no apartment. Duh!

So, I email RedBubble support again to let them know this.

I expect some sort of answer as to why this is happening. But the following happens.

They send me a refund.

Let's be clear, I did not as for a refund. I asked for the order I made to be shipped to me.

So it seems that putting an apartment number on a shipping address is completely impossible for this very unprofessional company.

After 2 weeks of bullshit, I will be receiving nothing at all from these shady cunts.

Fuck RedBubble it seems.

Just read a comment on rant that stated "You’d be surprised as how disgusting people are especially in the work setting.". In regard to bathrooms. This reads true, for my current place of work

I was about to reply to that, but I thought this is worthy of a rant of its own. Allow me to quote some emails...

"We have had reports of excrement being left on toilet seats, which surely could be seen by the person responsible before they left the cubicle. "

"very poor toilet hygiene in some the ladies toilets.

Firstly, someone person should I say.... has used a toilet brush to clear a blockage in the Ladies loo nearest [removed]. They obviously couldn't unblock the toilet due to the density of the blockage and therefore.. returned the brush to it's holder full of the blockage!! "

"The phantom "snot" wiper is back and is using the back of the toilet door nearest the [removed] as a tissue! Again.. the poor Cleaner has had to clean this up... "

"Toilet paper being put in the Urinal blocking the system in [removed] and faeces being left on the toilet floor in [removed]. This goes without saying that this can't go on and it's not the cleaners job to be cleaning such messes! "

Its ever worse in our other office that contains a call centre. A lady was fired for leaving shit in the stairwells on multiple instances. She had been fired from her last role for the same thing.

There were also reports of subway subs been left in the toilet bowl.

You also find the most curious items in the waste bins (they have no lid, we're not search through them - just to make that clear) everything from half eaten sandwiches to watermelon.

Going to sleep with a newly gained 4k milestone! I'm gonna have good dreams :)

I never thought anyone would actually like me on this platform when I joined last month, but I guess I was wrong. I got along with a few awesome people, which I'm gonna list right below. Other than that, I'm glad to be a part of the community :)

The people I got along with the most:
- Linuxxx, the privacy superstar
- ewpratten, the young programming genius
- devTea, the compulsive upvoter
- Condor, the account deleter
- Alice, the pink freak
- Stuxnet, which I kinda forgot the first time I wrote this (sorry!)
- Almost everyone on here!

To be clear, those are people I enjoy talking with, they might not feel the same way. I just wanted to thank those who made me smile the most here.

!dev

> Be me
> Birthday today, spend entire day in hospitals due to my beloved's cancer (see previous rants)
> After an entire tiring day, decide to order Chinese food from restaurant in région.
> Call, difficult to make him understand my order although being a native Belgian... After 10 minutes order placed.
> Drive to restaurant to come to pick up
> "It's 121 in total"
> "Wait you said 98"
> " No sir I did not say that"
> Ok fine I'm hungry
> We don't use debit card here ?
> Comeagain.gif
> I got 115 on me in cash.
> "Sorry sir we can't give you a discount on the order" despite advertising the discount
> "Why not? You advertising says so"
> "We haven't changed that yet."
> "So what now?"
> Guy puts back box in the back
> Ok that's clear enough for me.

Walk away, fed up.

Now I am in another restaurant, ordered the same amount-ish and got cheaper off and got even a small beverage for free while waiting!

Fucking non technical managers and their shitty clients to whom they suck their tiny weiners need to realise that I cannot reorder elements every 10 minutes to the shape of their fart comming out of their ass, test it, deploy it, trigger webhook, clear cloudflare cache, and meanwhile be sure that it's written in quality manner for future upkeep with commits that have sense.Hope deadline driven development dies in hell where it belongs

It isn’t easy being a programmer. They code all day, debug all night and go through thousands of code lines trying to clear up all possible messes before going live with their code. Sometimes, it takes a fellow programmer to understand the hardships of another programmer. The same can be said of their jokes.

*Me testing my api with vue.js*

Me: can you please update salesforce content and add new image.

Coworker: Done,image updated:

Me: did you click the sync button? Image seems to be not loading.

Co-worker: why don't you clear your browsing history and clear your cache.

Me: (talking to myself: you are asking me to clear my cache? ME? ME? ME?) Smiles back to coworker.

Co-worker: Did it work?

Me: Nope! Seems to it that you have not sync the content on salesforce. Please hit the sync button.

Co-worker: I did!

Me: I ask co-worker B he said content is not sync.

So my car has a problem with a steering column lock. Sometimes the actuator pops an error and it does not unlock until I clear that buggar. Carrying a lappy with vag-com seems somewhat annoying so I got a obdeleven bluetooth dongle with am app.

Once you get it to work it works perfectly. Have been using it for a few years now. It's like a half a year or so since it got a last update and it's been stable as a rock since.

Today me and my fam took a night out with a car. Drove here, drove there, had fun. Time to go home, as the little one is getting sleepy. Got in a car, insert a key, turn it -- no ignition. Damn that steering lock!

So I pop in a dongle, open the app, hit connect,... Wait, what is that? A toast with "a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]".

Cancel ofc, I need to go home asap! Will gladly get the update when the kiddo is in his bed!

[[cancel]]. The toast disappears. Okay, now [[connect]]

"a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]"

mother f#$@%!!! Allright already, [[update]] it ffs.

Updated the app. Now [[connect]].

Loading.. Loading... "could not connect to device"

tfq?!?

Reinsert the dongle, connect
restart the app, connect
restart the phone, connect
clear all bt devices, connect
do the rain dance, connect.

Permission to panic: GRANTED.

Dear devs. If you are rolling out an update -- never ever EVER make it non-postponable, non-cancelable. No matter how critical, your updates must NEVER be mandatory.

I have a huge deadline coming up. It's important for the future of the project that we show a mostly complete version of the product to the client that day.

They ask if I can do it. I say yes, but it will be very taxing. And by taxing, I mean it's going to use up the remaining energy and motivation I have for anything. And I've made that clear to everyone.

Coworker:
Here's an unrelated task that will take 6.75 hours of your day and I will hound the boss until he makes you do it. And I am going to send you messages after work that foreshadow another day of doing things that aren't deadline related.

So when deadline day comes around and I have to present something that has two work days of work missing, they're going to look at me like I failed. And not that I had two of my days stolen from me doing miscellaneous chores that could have waited.

Docker I don't have time for your bullshit tonight!

You're supposed to be this safe space where my code runs and neither the code or the god damn container changed.

Don't give me some bullshit about the container either, it's pretty clear docker itself is fucked ...

A beautiful gem ticket from a manager today:

Title: "Check Stripe "Snippet APK" that might help for integration into the app to track pricing easily."

Alright, it's very clear this particular individual has no idea what they are talking about, but, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and read the ticket description!

Description: "I think stripe offers some sort of snippet that can be implemented into the app similar to FB pixel. (I could be wrong here..) let’s briefly check this, if it’s of value for our A/B-Tests → e.g. if it makes your life easier = good otherwise it’s not important."

...

I might as well replace the management team with GPT-3 at this point.

Or even just a simple Markov chain; that'd probably be more accurate if you want to match the ticket quality more exactly of this ABSOLUTE PILE OF HORSESHIT WASTE OF TIME I GET FED EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.

🤡

I'm fed up with you guys ranting about what you SHOULD HAVE said, but instead just walked out, said something cowardly, or nothing at all...

For fuck sake, grow a pair and stand up for yourself! Noone else will...

I get it, this place is a nice vent, people understand, it's not face-to-face, it's easy. But the sheer number of you that had a clear chance to be grow, and ran for the door is alarming.

I also get it, it's mostly difficult to talk back to a client/boss/professor. But there's a few steps between FUCK YOUR FUCKING DIPSHIT FACE and running to the corner to post a rant here.

Find the right words. You don't have to sware, be civilized, but take a stand, present your arguments, present facts and proofs. Don't give in to their scare tactics, earn that respect you need and deserve! Then come here like a winner and share it with us.

It has become quite a tradition here to sware in all caps and then say that's what you should have said, but didn't. From now on, I'm -- these posts to give my two cents in an attempt to make this a community of winners ranting about a stupid world. Not a community of cowards ranting how world is scary.

Android is gonna be the death of me. Any fucking idea you have is impossible to implement, because libraries with clear documentation are deprecated. If a library is not deprecated, however, it has documentation written by a fucking caveman who thinks it's extremely self explanatory on how to use something that is extremely application specific. Spent hours looking at Google example code that crashes almost immediately after execution, what a joke.

Was working on a client's project. He had given clear specs. Work went delightful with less or no hacks. Then I get asked to add a extra feature which I had little thought about. Now I think it's a small hack and can be done. But here I am. One hack leading to another. I am too deep into ugly hacks. Maybe I should stop software development and join postal service to sort letters. I feel so incompetent.

@AlexDeLarge and any other React guys, which do you prefer? Traditional css files, whether that be vanilla or with a preprocessor, or style objects for each component.

There are some pretty clear pros i can identify for both sides, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing somethings and I'd like to hear from you guys your opinions and experiences with either

One time I got an offer for a job I had found through a recruiter. When I wasn't sure if I was going to take the job, and it became clear to the recruiter that he wasn't going to be able to convince me, he had his "manager" get on the phone to try to tell me why I needed to take the job. One of the reasons was "because I was a recent college graduate and wasn't a CS major (I was a minor but had a lot of experience), this was the best offer I could get." It thought it was pretty sad that they resorted to insulting me to try to get me to take the job so they could get their commission. Sleeaaazzzyyy.

I had once an sql error that took me two days to resolve it.
The error message was a syntax error but I was using an ORM to write my queries (doctrine with php) .I didn't have too much to debug as the code was pretty simple and clear so I got to the point that I convinced myself that this a bug and I'm gonna try to mess around it to avoid it.

Second day late night, something popped up in my mind '' hey what about those reserved words? Could it be the reason? '' aaaaand BINGO the key '' option '' is a fucking reserved word for mysql.

Tip : always check that list before writing your data models (specially if you're a noob like me)

So there's that project with my coworker. We splitt up the classes, 10 to be implemented by him, 10 by me.

Fast Forward to 4 weeks before deploy.
Coworker: Your stuff logs a lot of stuff. It's not very clear and a liiittle to verbouse. 5 entries per second? Too much!
Me: Okay, you're right. Let me fix that.

2 Days later I look at his logs at runtime. He logs EVRY SQL statement and their results! In a batch that processes a 10'000 of customers!
He points out: That's useful stuff and it's not that much. It's needed for debuging.

My face: 😦

Lets get some shit crystal clear:

- Angular is amazing.
- If you're complaining about it, then you're not experienced enough with it and you need to learn more
- Im using Angular for years, i built personal, professional and client projects with Angular as frontend and got paid thousands of USD
- I have never had any problems with angular in terms of performance, slow load time or insufficient documentation
- Angular is perfect for large projects. The structure is extremely robust and Easily lets you scale the project no matter how complex the project is
- You can have a trillion components and still be able to easily understand what each component does and add up to it because of how all the components are modularized and decoupled

What the FUCK is wrong with people!!!??
If you need to use !important in your CSS.... STOP and just don't.

It should be very clear that if the need arises to use !important then you are either really shit at CSS and don't understand the concept or you are a lazy mother fucker.

I'm so fucking sick of dealing with other so called "developers" shit code and have to spend time I don't have fixing their shit.

There is absolutely no reason to use
!important and to anyone that thinks to be a smartarse and let me know of their shit reasons... just don't because there aren't any.

Helping Fix something on my Managing Directors Laptop...

After a restart I ask (word for word), "Can you please give me the password you use to login to your laptop"

She proceeds to give me her E-mail password

I respond by saying that I think that is her e-mail password and I need the laptop password.

Next thing I hear "You have to be more clear, to me they are the same thing"

Seriously... How much clearer could I have been, I'd be annoyed right now if my brain wasn't in an infinite loop going WTF JUST HAPPENED... WTF JUST HAPPENED... WTF JUST HAPPENED...

Management wants me to continue building an internal-use dashboard.
and you've guessed it, all functionality to be added will be discussed on-the-fly (so specs keep changing all the time...)...
So now I'm on a strike for this project until I get clear specs

!rant

I asked my teacher if i would be allowed to use lists in final exam. (If you read my last rants about him you'll know he has a fetish with arrays) He allowed it! I'm feeling so relieved!
(He changed his mind more than once for the last few weeks, but this time he made a clear decision and he will stick with it. He even promised it.)
No more fear now, I know I can do that 😁

My lead loves to over engineer crap and waste weeks building complicated solutions.

And then during retro when a team member has the stones to say we should've thought about it a little more or used the input of some other teammates, he shuts them down by saying that more input would've been bad for the design. I can see where he's coming from, but he always seems to have an excuse for us. Why can't he just be more transparent and clear with us? If he has a problem, just say it. That's what retros are for.

Oh and then he takes a shot at me saying that we shouldn't have built a UI in tandem with it. I didn't even recommend a UI for the thing. All I said was that if we ever have a UI, we should consider a database setup that assists both the server and UI. But nooo, he's stuck with this "server design" approach. Everything has to be built to make it easier for the server.

I still don't understand why anyone would have their server logic influence the design. Especially the database. I just seems too targeted. It just creates these nasty denormalized tables.

Ugh... Our team is getting dragged around by this arrogant and silly man.

My productivity hack? I code in the shower and use a water whiteboard. I have to be up very early and feel the most clear headed right when I wake up.

If I'm stumped on something, I can usually tackle it from a new perspective. For the most part it works out. Other then the occasional profanity if I accidentally erase something and the sometimes longer than usual showers, my wife doesn't mind. Usually because it's 5 in the morning and when she takes a shower there is this scribble that she tries to decode!

So why the fuck did you go into code that I've written, change the name from "mode" to "type" throughout the >1500 lines of code that's relevant to the feature, and then move on to change my implementation to something that is arguably not common practice for the language and framework we're using, and in turn create duplicate state? And why the fuck weren't these changes in separate clear commits, but instead scattered over multiple commits? You're supposed to be senior!

Once a guru of mine told me,
"A developer is one who can convert his/her ideas to code and doesn't need to depend on external libraries to help him/her"

His words actually have made me a different person. I mean since that day, I actually started developing things on my own. Until then I was hardly good at coding. Wasn't even clear with the basics. But those words of his had a deep impact on me.

Today I suddenly started thinking about that and honestly, I'm so glad to have met him. I'm so glad that he actually said the above thing to me.
Today, I'm at a position where I can legit build anything I want.
From websites to bots, I make my ideas come to life. All thanks to my guru.

Just thought this might be a good thing to share to motivate others. If it motivated me, I'm sure it might motivate atleast one other person in this community.

I see a lot of rants on this platform complaining about their boss/management.

About how they don't understand how complicated the development can be of seemingly simple tasks or how they would prefer small estimations over realistic ones.

Is that really the standard in this field of work?
Am I just that lucky to find basically the ideal boss on my first try?

My boss really understands how difficult some tasks can be even if they don't initially seem like it. He listens to my ideas as if they are at least just as important as his own. He can almost think like a real developer and is prepared to give us all tools we could want to evolve.

It is a very small firm and I'm basically the only real developer on this project, but I would follow that man to the ends of the earth.

Can some people please clear my conscience and confirm there are still good managers in this field who really care about their project and their employees/colleagues?

Ok people. I got a contract last year with a company, and I was their support for one year, which ended back in February. They still email me for all their problems. I don't know why. They emailed me today, for Christ's sake, on the Saturday of Easter, to tell me that their 3rd party software can't send them emails because the mailserver has that IP on greylist asking me to look into it and find a solution. AS IF I CARE! I'm with my family, taking a break for two days damn it. Panic attack came, my heartbeat rate problem kicked in and now I can't calm down. I'm trying to get into the "I don't give a fuck" mood but I can't, I'm too responsible for that, in the worst dramatic way (the world is gonna end etc).

Piece of advice:
Be very clear next time you come to terms with another company, be precise and don't let them have it their way.

This remote agency that we use to help us build our mobile app is taking the piss out of us. They always have stupid questions, more stupid questions and on top of that at least they don’t work fast. So a task that should take a day it takes them a week and when they deliver it’s not exactly what we’re asking. Despite the fact that they’ve already asked me tons of questions they went ahead and implemented something I haven’t asked for because they thought it’s better. Well guess what read your fucking requirement documents that I spent 2 days writing. It’s all there bullet point by bullet point including the way it should work with examples and justification plus a flow charts to make it super fucking clear. It must be their business model to fuck around, stay on the project for as long as possible and ask for more money. They can’t be that stupid.

> TheSmartGuy: listen, IHateForALiving, I know you're a frontend developer, but here in the backend...

Just so we're clear: I'm NOT a frontend developer.

I'm a full stack developer.

I just so happen to always end up working on the frontend because you bunch of handless monkeys wouldn't be able to write a webpack config file if your life depended on it.
It's not you taking care of my inability to work on the backend, it's me being relegated to using only half of my skills because you ugly things refuse to evolve. I could take your job in a breath, I wouldn't trust you with writing a css selector.

I'm just super disappointed in people. A lot of people flaky and not as good as I think they are. I tend to be an idealist, and I believe in helping others to do a net positive. But what I find is that people just don't give a shit about anyone else except for themselves. If it's even a slightest inconvenience to them they won't do it. You ask for one little thing despite you helping them out a shit ton, and they won't do it for you.

Also, I'm so tired of people who always come up to me and talk big game about how we should work on a project together. But when shit hits the fan and I say let's do the work they don't do anything. Or I have to drag them along to get anything started.

Yeah, everybody is out for themselves, but I wish we were more kind to others and learn to take a hit to our own convenience every once in a while.

But maybe I should just find a better group of people to hang out with and fuck you all to my current group of friends. JK.

I'm going for a run to clear my head. Hopefully after I come back I'll be in a better mood.

Do you enjoy pain? Love being mistreated while paying $100 a year for it? Welcome to Apple Developer Enrollment!
You'd think for a company that claims to provide "seamless" experiences, their enrollment process would be super straightforward, but no, get ready to waste incredible time with generic error messages.
"Enrollment through the developer app is not possible for this account".
Great! Just great. My peasant app wasn't worthy of being on the almight App Store anyway. Forgive me for trying, my lord.

WTF.

First, they make you prove your existence with endless verifications. Need a D-U-N-S number? Good luck because it's a nightmare. Support? Barely helpful. And if anything goes wrong? Expect weeks of waiting with zero urgency from Apple.

And that $100? You pay it every single year, just to keep your apps measly alive. Meanwhile, Google charges a one-time $25. Fair? Not in Apple land.

And if they randomly decide your app has an issue? Boom, it'll be gone. No warning, no clear answers, just frustration.

So yeah, if you're a masochist who adores pain, jumping through hoops and paying for the privilege, Apple’s got you covered!

Wow, very technical and clear documentation:

"While we do not publish the symbol limits for the streaming API, we do monitor for abuse to make sure people aren’t doing anything egregious. Essentially, ask for what you need. Don’t abuse the APIs and you should be fine."

...and, we all know what 'fine' stands for, right?

🤡

5 years of leetcode with no progress. I'm giving up.

First some background, I have an undergraduate degree in computer science and one and a half years of professional coding experience which ended when I got fired for performance issues. I have worked diligently at Leetcode for those 5 years (exceptions occurred when I got ill). I have been personally coached by a google software engineer for months. I have done and given 100s of mock interviews and paid for some to be done by professionals. I have spent 100s if not thousands of hours on Leetcoding and algorithms trying to improve in any way I can imagine. I'm still not good enough.
This all came to a head yesterday when someone on Leetcode made a post about being able to solve every single Leetcode problem in a year within a year while managing a post doc degree and having almost no programming background (link at bottom of post). It made it clear that Leetcode is a game of talent not hard work. The difference between someone like her and someone like me must be noted by the programming community. The majority of people would not ever be able to accomplish that. I dedicated myself for 5 years to Leetcoding almost exclusively and still am no where near what that person has accomplished. I have put in much more work than that person and have gotten much less from it.

I believe the programming community can learn from this contrast. The culture of always trying harder and thinking success stories apply to everyone that is pervasive in programming circles is toxic. The is reality not everyone is lucky enough to be intellectually gifted to succeed and not all hard work pays off. I am proof of that and this is the type of story that needs to be shared and heard too.

I am quitting programming out of humility and recognition of my limitations. It’s ok to give up and wise to do so when you aren't good enough for something.

I specifically asked my employer when fix time is, whether I get a work laptop, and whether WFH is optional, because

- I'm a night owl and don't function until 10am
- my personal laptop is slow as shit and I don't want to put Windows on it
- I don't have a decent chair at home yet

- client team agreed on fix time starting an hour before what's in my contract, and PM made it clear that they expect to be able to call us an hour before and two hours after (that's what fix time means unless I misunderstand)
- I got a crap backup laptop after a week of moaning, with promise of a better one two weeks from now
- I won't get an RFID card for weeks, so I effectively can't enter or leave the client offices

This is a warning 😡
A tale first...
I being the kind soul I am offered my help to another web company .. their site was built poorly and took 20 seconds to load I told them the fixes they needed in the hopes they would give me the work to do it that was the agreement after all 😡

Instead they stole my ideas and did them themselves now they have a good website 😡 fully working

Let me be clear if you fuck me over like this. I. Will. End. You.

I hate scum like this ... I'm calling him tomorrow I will give him the benefit of the doubt, if he says something like 🙄 well tough.

There won't be a website the next day... 😡

😈

When I was 10 years orso old, I liked playing video games and I thought that it would be awesome to make my own game. I found Unity which I started messing around with and at that point it was pretty clear to me that coding video games (and in general) was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

*background: client has told account manager he's not paying any more money till his site is done, not only is it the most in-depth WordPress site we've made, but we'll beyond the scope of the signed contract. He sent a few more edits over the weekend which I ignored because we have a team meeting later to discuss he client and where to go from here.

account manager comes in and says he has a call from client looking for me. I tell him that he should probably take a message as I'm not in the mood to be belittled by the client and we have a meeting later to discuss him anyways, we'll call him back.

AM: Come on, he says it'll only take a second and I'll be here so we can do it on speaker.

he transfers the call and we start talking in my office, before the client has even finished his first remark, the AM has left the room. Now we have the least social person in the office talking to the client when both parties are less than happy.

I managed to keep my cool and not tell the client to fuck off, and made sure I was clear about not promising any of his new edits.

Phrases like "that will take time and money" were used a lot.

There may be shots fired at the meeting later.

Optimization issue pops out with one of our queries.
> Team leader: You need to do this and that, it's a thing you know NOTHING about but don't worry, the DBA already performed all the preliminary analysis, it's tested and it should work. Just change these 2 lines of code and we're good to go
> ffwd 2 days, ticket gets sent back, it's not working
> Team leader: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING
> IHateForALiving: try it on our production machine and you'll see the exact same error, it's been there for years
> Team leader: BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT

Just so we're clear, when I perform a change in the code, I test the changes I made. I don't know in which universe I should be held accountable for tards breaking features 10 years ago, but you can't seriously expect me to test the whole fucking software from scratch every time I add an index to the db.

Why is it that every god damned time, i ask questions until i have a clear view of a clients project and flow. I present them this flow. They OK it and everything. I build said flow in an app. And then at the end of the line i always end up with a shit codebase because i designed it to be like the documented flow, but changes were being added (and obviously paid for) all the time. I made such a neat little app. And now it all gone to shit.

Is this just me? Am i that bad at programming or what?!

Stop changing half of the app functionality after the original design is created!

I was going to show my boss DevRant. Due to my quick thinking of past and future rants pertaining to said boss, I decided not to. Quickly switching to Instagram seemed like I was in the clear, I just had to find a funny picture of... a DevRant ad... "Oh what's that app? Didn't you have that one?"
Then a client walked in!!!
Never have I been, nor will I even be, so relieved to have a client storm into the office!

I had this amazing boss. He had 25 years of experience in the sector covered by our software, an ERP. He knew how to be a programmer, a boss, a sales manager, a support person.
I learned most of the best practices from him: do not shout in the office, it makes impossible to work. Don't hide something to your coworkers, nobody was trusting him. Be clear with your clients, his subtle mind tricks pissed off a lot of clients. Your client needs to see an economic advantage in your offers, trying to sell gold priced shit is not a good way to stay in the market. The list could go on and on and on.

I learned what happens when you do everything in the wrong way, and I will never forget.

Appreciate you clear vision, fucking devs. It sucks for us to be powerless without eyeglasses. Fuck this shit! Fuck it.

If you were a code antipattern, what would it be?

I'm definitely NIH -- "Not Invented Here".

I write everything from scratch. When I don't, more often than not, I don't install code deps -- I copy their code and modify it. I port it to my set of utils, my syntax preferences, optimize it, strip parts and modes I don't need, and at the end there's no clear line between what was my code and what wasn't. My code doesn't import, it absorbs.

At the job interview to my current position I was asked the classic ”where do you see yourself in X years” question. I replied something along the lines of that I see myself staying if I feel good where I am and long as I have the opportunities for professional growth.

Now with recent developments it’s looking like those opportunities will be bygone pretty soon. I work on a massive legacy codebase, where with the scarcity of current dev resources and the apparent difficulties of procuring additional personnel to the dev dept, it does look like we’ll be limited to maintenance and simple small scale improvements with no room for meaningful projects. Theoretically I could ask to be moved to another product, but realistically that would both be a dick move well as unlikely to happen, as other projects are fully staffed (and made with technologies there’s easier to find personnel to).

As a consequence of this perceived imminent halt in opportunities for self-development at work, I’ve been starting to look for greener pastures. There are some intriguing ones out there. But then I come here, read some rants and comments, and it always becomes abundantly clear I’m good where I’m at right now. So what of it, if my position won’t enable growth out of the box for a while? I can always develop my skills and knowledge on my free time, and besides, the stagnation won’t last forever... right?

OMG. This weekend, there is Rainbow Six Siege free to play on Steam. I have a desktop PC, but I can't get it to work. Tried Ubi support, but they give shit. So...I was hoping, I could finally try this crap game on my laptop. And here we go...

Normally, I use Linux. Only Linux, because Windows 10 on my laptop is extremely fucking painful. I knew it's going to be torture to install that game on it, but whatever.

OK, firstly, I was surprised, that Windows booted in just about 1 minute. I was like wtf just happened. Everything seemed to be fine and working. I downloaded uPlay, installed it and tried to install the game. Just to be clear, this rant is written from Linux again. And why?

Because FUCKING WINBLOWS desides to FUCKING UPDATE WIFI DRIVERS. 1 minute - internet works, second fucking minute - WIFI IS FUCKING DOWN. Thanks fucking pussy Gates. I really like you. And use this crap daily. Holy shit I would die...

My decision whether to move to the US vs. the UK/EU will be primarily be driven by ability to attend rock/metal concerts and access to art/travel/culture/diversity.

If I am happy and living a stress free life (stress free == balancing stress with doing something that I love), then I'd be able to perform better with a clear mind and grow well.

Money has always been an output of my working with good ethics and high values.

For me side projects have been things I'll make to do something that others will use. Some people call it innovation, some call it side business. But that's how i look at side projects. So the points below are more to do with entrepreneurial experiences.

1. If there are more people involved, ensure that there is work for everybody (also level of commitment is tested by how much they put in). Also have as varied set of skills as possible. So that areas are well defined in terms of scope of work and areas of expertise.
2. Put in some money. Money is super glue. It will ensure that you're committed to the thing. Things change when decent amount of money is involved. You're invested, as may be others.
3. Learn something as an intention. This has nothing to do with the learnings you'll get on the way. This one seems obvious, but nevertheless needs to be said.
4. Set timelines and deadlines. Ask someone else to check on whether you're keeping on to your deadlines or not.
5. Don't go live without proper testing.
6. Make something you feel strongly about. The path will be exciting and clear.
7. Talk to people to get their feedback on everything. You may not like what's told to you. Listen dispassionately. Absorb everything. Feel miserable. But listen and think about it after sleeping over it.
8. Continuation of above point. Talk to varied set of people in terms of backgrounds. You would be surprised as to how differently people think.
9. Ask for help when stuck. Kill your ego and be vulnerable.
10. Check out what's already available. What value are you adding. And make it!

Hey Guys, I'm starting a new project for iOS. This App is for who have trekking or love to walking in to the woods. It record the positions, altitude and is possible to save your favourite places (with photo and description). There are also an SOS functionality that permit to return at home position (also without GSM or internet connectivity) and to ask for help (I still thinking how this can be done). I've attached first layout made with sketch witch will make it clear what I'll do.

So I wrote a service a couple of years ago to generate PDFs from some documents. Fully working, covered it with tests (unit and integration). Code was clear and easy to follow.

I've been promoted and the engineer that took it over just went in and rewrote half of it. That would be fine, but they also just deleted every test. So now it's untested.

Glad that's not my problem anymore, I geniunely hope it breaks

In the last 24 hours I have been handed 3 tasks that are to be done on priority.

While my current queue will take upto a week to clear of, nobody thought of it.

When I'll present my time estimate for the completion of the new priority tasks, and when the deadline for the remainder of the tasks will be pushed back, I'll be asked a very simple question.

"WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?"

Got some detailed feedback from Booking.com, upon asking.

I answered all the questions right. But they said I am not ready for a Sr PM role (which might be true).

Here are three points that I captured from the feedback:

1. Focus on details
2. Clear and better reasoning for WHY
3. Realistic over idealistic scenarios

While it makes me feel low that I didn't make it but this feedback will surely help me overcome the challenges and clear interviews in future.

On to the next one now. Let's see what comes my way..

One thing for sure, there is lots and lots to learn for me yet.

One thing I surely lack is articulating my thoughts and keeping things crisp while conveying the information aptly.

Anyone has any tips/resources on how to improve in this area?

Worst interview rejection.

I was just out of college and making the interview rounds set up through my college's job placement.

I wish I still had the letter (I would have attached a screenshot), which
started out nice enough with the usual 'It was a pleasure meeting you and thank you for your interest in the position..' blah blah blah.

Ending with "You will never be considered for a developer position here at MFA Oil."

I was like "What the hell happened?!" I thought the interview went great..I had no experience and she made it clear they were looking for experienced developers, but no weird questions+answers, nothing. If anything, I had to be the most vanilla of the 10+ other college-grad devs waiting in the waiting room. Interview was maybe 10 minutes with the standard script of questions like 'Where do you want to be in 5 years?' which we all knew and rehearsed.

My only guess was they had me confused with someone else.

In Django code, looking at a class for caching REST calls. The cache is using Redis via Django's cache layer. In order to store different sets of parameters, each endpoint gets a "master" cache, that lists the other Redis keys, so they can be deleted when evicting the cache. Something isn't right, though. The cache has steadily increased in size and slowed down since 2014 even though many events clear the whole thing!

... And then it hit me. Nothing empties the list of cache keys. Nothing. So it has been growing endlessly since 2014. And everytime it grows, cache eviction gets a little more expensive, network traffic increases a little more, and cache evictions get a little slower.

Fixing this bug took things that were taking routinely an entire minute to complete and made them take a couple seconds.

I forgot my password to my mindfactory account, one of Germany's biggest online vendor for computer components. So I go through the resetting process, which is:

- apply for password reset
- get a mail
- confirm the mail
(So far, so good)

- get a mail with a new CLEAR TEXT PASSWORD

Is this the stone age!?

You never send an email containing the cleartext! You never even store the password as is!
You, as the provider, should never be able to know what the actual password was.

All you are supposed to do is to generate a random salt, and hash the user's password with the salt, and then you only store the salt and the hash. And whenever a user inputs their password, all you do is to check if the you can recreate the hash with the help of the salt and your hash algorithm. (There are libraries for that!)

If a user wants to reset their password? Send them to a mail with link on where they can assign a new password.

At no point should the password ever be stored or transmitted in any other medium.

So....

I'm loving my personal project in Node.JS but I have to say, whoever would use this for any involved professional purpose is a fucking retard.

A complete fucking retard.

Errrors related to their weakly typed bs would have been caught by a compiler in literally ANY OTHER LANGUAGE. Yeah it would take more time to tag objects etc, but then it would be DONE RIGHT and a look-ahead compiler wouldn't be necessary to tell you 'oh the reference could point to a completely different type ! nothing will warn you of this, but if you sort of hover after a certain line the source of the error it took a fucking hour of runtime to produce will be clear !'......

remember just say @NoToJavascript

can we just get rid of floating points? or at least make it quite clear that they are almost certainly not to be used.

yes, they have some interesting properties that make them good for special tasks like raytracing and very special forms of math. but for most stuff, storing as much smaller increments and dividing at the end (ie. don't store money as 23.45. store as 2,345. the math is the same. implement display logic when showing it.) works for almost all tasks.

floating point math is broken! and most people who really, truely actually need it can explain why, which bits do what, and how to avoid rounding errors or why they are not significant to their task.

or better yet can we design a standard complex number system to handle repeating divisions and then it won't be an issue?

footnote: (I may not be perfectly accurate here. please correct if you know more)

much like 1/3 (0.3333333...) in base 10 repeats forever, that happens with 0.1 in base 2 because of how floats store things.
this, among other reasons, is why 0.1+0.2 returns 0.30000004

This might just be me and my OCD talking, but am I the only one who gets super annoyed with sloppy CSS formatting?

So like, if somebody writes a sloppily formatted rule like this without spacing out each property and value:

#signUpButton {color:#FFF;background:#000;float:right;clear:both;padding:5px;position:absolute;top:5px;right:20px;height:100px;width:45px;}

As opposed to something like this, which just looks much cleaner:

#signUpButton { color: #FFF; background; #000; float: right; clear: both; padding: 5px; }

The formatting makes no difference in how the CSS is evaluated and rendered, but I find the spaceless style so ugly and difficult to read/edit, whereas the spaced out style is much more appealing to the eyes and easier to read

I find myself reformatting other people's CSS that works perfectly fine just so it will be easier to read/edit for anybody else that looks at it in the future

I have a demo meeting tmr but the web app written by the junior dev is in crap state. Forget about new features and bug fixes, I probably won't even be able to correct and clear all the spaghetti codes. So instead of working on it, I am trying to encourage myself by creating quotes images.

Last week me and my friend have been changed from a legacy PHP project to new Ruby on Rails-based setup. What, in first instance, looked like a great improvement, now becomes a nightmare.

All this convention-over-configuration is awesome - but only if you already know the conventions, or if somebody told'em to you.

And everything is going even more out of control because the damn project is based upon Spree gem and several other extensions, that MUST be changed to meet out company needs.

I'm getting really mad with all this pressure. Ruby seems to be a great language, but I'd rather be working with Laravel. Its overall organization, the centralization of CLI commands in artisan, and the astoundingly clear, eloquent, direct and well-designed documentation made my adoption curve there a little more pleasant.

I mean, legacy PHP systems are awful, but Laravel framework sounds way more easy-to-learn and well-constructed when compared to rails.

But given all this nightmare, I really want to be proved the opposite.

I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant

(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)

I'm doing a code review on a huge feature, basically touching every part of our authorization logic, and man... It's like my colleague writes his code to be as hard to read as possible. He's 60+ and you'd think he'd have learned how to write good and clear code, but nope. "Let's make it cool cool and I look like I'm a genius. And if I can spend 3 keystrokes less on a function I'm happy". Fuck me.

88 hours on the clock
Take one more, pass it around
89 hours on the clock

Maybe my goal next week should be to clear 100 😂

*Friday morning*

Me: "Ok the client wants to talk with you on Wednesday at 10 am. It's a conference call on Hangouts, here's the link: [ link ]. Be on time, I have already sent you all the details about the topics you'll have to cover. I will be available during the weekend if you need help, we cannot afford to make mistakes"

Smartass Dev: "Don't worry, I am on it"

*Tuesday, after lunch break*

Me: "Just a final check: is everything clear with my email? I'm working late tonight, call me if you need something else. They'll probably share some slides, be sure to join from your laptop: [ link ]"

Smartass Dev: "No problem, I am fine"

*Wednesday, 11.15 am*

Smartass Dev: "Hey, what a shitty client! I waited more than an hour and they did not even tell me that the call was canceled. This is so unprofessional."

Me: "The call was not canceled"

Smartass Dev: "Dude, I had my phone here on the desk. I was ready to answer but they never called"

Me: "Did you open the link?"

Smartass Dev: "What link?????"

Me: "It was on Hangouts, I sent you the link twice"

Smartass Dev: "Really...? I'm so unlucky these days. Next time will be better 🙂"

I’m rarely at the initiative of a meeting, but when I am, my approach is: what questions need to to be answered? Time spent in the meeting is answering those questions without beating around the bush. I request precise answers, no "we shoulds" or vague responses. Meeting usually ends with clear answers/resolutions written down and shared so there aren’t any "that’s not what we agreed upon"

To be able to actually write useful tests BEFORE starting to code, which I guess is really asking for the ability to have a clear set of requirements and a complete mental model of the problem at hand

so they are really out there...

people who beleive C# is just the one source of truth and all other languages are just garbage

🤡

sad to be so ignorant - though i guess ignorance is bliss

to be clear: I use C# like anyone else, but it's just a tool in the toolkit, that's all

- have/share an agenda as soon as possible
- each talking point should identify a problem. Make a list of strategic questions answers to which would make it perfectly clear what and by whom has to be done to resolve them.
- plan meeting duration according to the list of questions. Make sure you meeting room reservation gives you enough time
- take notes
- be prepared for a need for another meeting(s), if during that meeting it comes clear that:
> more/other people need to be engaged
> some things are not clear and need more investigation before going further
> you have run out of time
> there are other problems tgat need to be worked out and it might cobsume too much time to do this in a current meeting
- do not turn the meeting into a chat. It's counter-productive, tiring to the listeners and a waste of time
- do not try to cover many topics. The less, the better. Unless they are very tightly coupled.
- do not invite people you do not need or there is a very slim chance you will need.
- only schedule meetings when the situation needs to be DISCUSSED among multiple parties
- that being said, do not schedule meetings when it's more convenient to communicate otherwise, like email, chat, etc.
- after the meeting make a summary and send it our to all the participants. They might reply and clarify if you have misunderstood smth or missed some important point.
- during the meeting assign tasks to each other. Verbally. Make notes. After the meeting reflect them in jira, rally, wtv.
- while assigning tasks nake sure the assignees have no blockers to work on them and make sure they understand what, when and how should be done. Some tasks might be dependedt on each other, work the sequence out.
- while assigning tasks ask "for ETAs. They might be as silly as 1-hour-to-2-weeks, but they still let you know what to expect.
- offer your assistance to the task assignees if they need any while working on their tasks

- work on your language, grammar, syntax, etc. Reading texts with typos/mistakes is repelling

- be a leader, an authority everyone is looking up to. Not a boss.
- avoid saying NOs. Be more of a "do we really need this; can we do this some other way/time; I can't promise anythibg but I'll see what I can do about it" kind of person.

We find our hero, fullstackclown🤡, again harrowed by idiotic management.

Our backdrop and set: A Google calendar appointment was booked between the managers and fullstackclown. fullstackclown had created an all-day appointment for today which reads: "fullstackclown on site".

With the scene set, let us begin our tale..........

Manager: Are you going to be on site today?

fullstackclown🤡: Do you see the appointment I booked on our calendar stating that indeed I will be on site today?

Manager: ...

fullstackclown🤡: you are an absolute idiot

Manager: ...

I literally don't know what to do anymore. I mean it's RIGHT THERE IN YOUR CALENDAR. HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?! DO YOU WANT A TWILIO APP THAT SENDS YOU A PRERECORDED VOICE MESSAGE IN MY VOICE, CONFIRMING MY CALENDAR APPOINTMENTS?!

What type of mindset causes this type of behavior of double or triple checking things as simple as a calendar booking? Honestly shows a complete breakdown of normal mental functioning in my opinion.

Before starting the project team lead told me this is the page of apidoc which will be updated after each new service call so that the communication is clear and i know the parameter of each api call well to use them.

1 month passed and no new service call appeared so i got curious and took a look at his code. He has created 8 f****g nrw calls but did not update the docs.

Me working on html/css updates for a banner message.

Web Ops Director: [slack] Hi! nice to e-meet you! I was talking with the Mgr of Product. He thinks it would be great if the banner message updates were on the site right away instead of having to wait 10 minutes for the cache to clear after updating the banner content in admin. Can you add that to your ticket?

Lol that’s a load of crap. 1) Product would have just told me himself and 2) Product would never pull this bullshit of bringing a ticket out of scope like you’re pulling right now. And 3) My spidey sense says this is a red flag 🚩.

Me: [in words web ops will understand] That’s going to a lot of time. And it would keep your content updates from making it to the weekly release. 😁

Which key would, or did you choose?

Cherry MX red, brown, blue, green, clear, black, silent red, silver, or Zealio 67g?

I'm deciding for my custom keyboard. Big decision to make. It's not going to be cheap. Just looking for some feedback.

I'm way past the point of being pissed now....

So there's some software (API's, mobile app + website) that I wrote to manage supplier incentive programs in a big hurry last year - which lead to a bunch of stuff being hard-coded in to launch on time. So after last years promotion was done I took down all the services etc was very fucking clear that in order to finish & deploy it to run again I would need at least around 4 months notice.

On the surface its pretty simple but it has quite a large user base and controls the distribution of enough cash & prizes to buy a small country so the setup of the incentives/access/audit trails is not something to be taken lightly.

Then once I'm done with the setup I have to hand it over to be "independently audited" by 3 of the larger corporate behemoths who's cash it distributes (if I get a reply from one in 3-4 weeks it's pretty fast).

I only happened to find out by chance an hour ago that we are apparently launching an even larger program this year - ON FUCKING MONDAY. I literally happened to over hear this on my way for a smoke - they have been planning it since last year November and not one person thought it might be kinda important to let me know because software is "magic" and appears and works based on the fucking lunar cycle.

Why are we even using JIRA?

It's clear from the behavior of the rest of my team that nobody ever has it open, looks at it, or thinks about any tasks that would improve the product other than sputtering out the occasional "mArKeTiNg HyPe" with incomplete horrible tickets that are at best barely decipherable.

Honestly, we can save the $50 a month and I'll just use my own personal trello board, the outcome would be the same.

I mean my life is a joke: we had to have a near hour-long google hangouts for literally dragging and dropping the 'demo/review' tickets to 'done' because my colleagues are so incompetent they can't read the tickets and realize which tickets HAVE LITERALLY ALREADY BEEN SHIPPED TO PRODUCTION WEEKS AGO.

Don't you just love it when there is no formal spec. you get a few mspaint slides and told a delivery date, scope and slides are changed by management weekly, not necessarily informing you of it. Then when your failing, deadlines pass you by you still have no clear spec 2 weeks before release, partial backend because core business devs are busy doing support on the legacy systems. No frontend cause it's been changed, redesigned and you've been forced to change frameworks and technology so many times due to corporate policy and legacy systems with another dev group holding your balls with what they allow you to do and use. Id complain but at least we've been told to be agile. This is my life now, we lost all hope and stopped caring. And management wonders why the deadlines and estimates are all off.

Not a specific bug, but I always have that satisfactory feeling when I fix a bug inside a code like this:
1. Spaghetti af
2. Duplicated af
3. Heavy use of static fields instead of passing via callback when required
4. variable names like: textbox1 ..etc.
5. No comments

It is true that is a huge pain in the ass to deal with, but then I look at it as I was able to create something out of that mess, I mean all is mixed up nothing is clear, no clue where it starts and what caused it, but then I put the pieces together and end up with a solution of what I thought to be: It will never be solved when that mess is here.

Not an excuse for messed up code, I try