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We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.
All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉19 -
During a meeting with customer I explained him two different options we could realise for his requirement.
Customer: "That sounds good! Do it!"
Me: "Well, you have to decide which option you want to be realised."
Customer: "Yes!"
Me: "You need some time to decide that?"
Customer: "No!"
Me: "So Option A or B"
Customer: "Yes!"9 -
*during my final job interview*
*holding the folder that contains my cv*
interviewer: Wait, before I open this I would like to guess which position you're applying to.
me: Hmm okay sir? Which position?
interviewer: I see you're applying as a back-end developer?
me: Yes sir, I am.
interviewer: Aha! That's because you have a long hair? Like it is a requirement for every devs to grow their hair?
me: *laughs* i think so?
interviewer: Well our devs here also has long hair. You'll meet 'em soon.
...
That sets the mood of my interviewing process that leads me the job offer. LOL.13 -
"could you please just use the standard messaging/social networking thingies? That way it'll be way easier to communicate!!"
Oh I don't mind using standard tools/services which everyone uses at all.
Just a few requirement: they don't save information that doesn't need to be saved, leave the users in control of their data (through end to end encryption for example) and aren't integrated in mass surveillance networks.
Aaaaaand all the standard options which everyone uses are gone 😩30 -
Fresh out of college?
Entry-level?
Apply Here!
Junior Web Intern: 16k A Year!
Basic Requirements: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Node, Angular, JQuery, Bootstrap, Backbone, Handlebars, D3, p3, CMS (WordPress, Wixx), PHP, Java (Android), C++(iOS), openframeworks, openGLSL, Cinder, failed at least two startups, 8086 assembly language.
Recommended requirements:
Git version control
Agile development
Must be able to display example of each requirement.16 -
Had a request from a client once, "I'd like that our site supports only IE10 and above. However if the visitor uses older IE version, say IE6, things should look and work the same as IE10".10
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Requirements vs Delivery - Guide to Programming
This one is a killer and I've received it in multiple forwards in office email, and we always have a good laugh seeing this joke.
Client: “Our next requirement, and this is something big you know, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”
Client: No, we need an elephant only, let me explain our current process……” (client explains for an hour)
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…
Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”
Requirements are taken as follows:
Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!
At the Offshore Development Centre,
Design/Development – Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.
Finally the customization is shown to client:
2 -
If you are copy pasting code from somewhere else, spend some time and effort to understand what that piece of code is actually doing, and how much of your requirement does it satisfy.1
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Job offer: "All employees will be provided Macbooks"
Nope! Just nope.
Let your dev chose their equipment, thank you very much.
If they want a Linux laptop, buy them one. If they want a Windows workstation, give it to them. And if and only if they want a Macbook, give them a Macbook.
I used to work in two companies having the requirement to use a Macbook for two years.
I know its pros. I know its cons. My conclusion for me: Never again!13 -
Realised this today.
One of the things I love the most about my job is the requirement to be creative and hackish.
Sometimes you just have to debug/fix stuff in the weirdest ways and this requires for me to think out of the box.
Something that's very new for me on this level!4 -
I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.
Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.
*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*
Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?6 -
The thing that I hate the most about my job:
Manager: We need to get this done.
Me: okay. (after some scouring online) this open source library looks like a perfect fit for the requirement.
Manager: oh sweet.
*some eons later*
Me: dude, I developed this general purpose utility and I think this might be helpful to other developers and something that we could open source.
Manager: uh no. Company policy.
Me: but we make use of open source libraries all the time.
Manager: that's different.4 -
Got a call from a recruiter today. (Keep in mind that using WhatsApp is about a requirement over here.)
R: so can I app you (I hate that word to the fucking point) with further details?
Me: *oh fuck this is gonna get me fucked again* uhm I don't use it so yah...
R: ohhh okay, security reasons?
Me: *slight relief* yes indeed, sir
R: oh fair enough, you can always just text and call me!
*very relieved feeling*
It's for either a cyber security or linux job by the way.29 -
Went blank when interviewer asked me do I know KITT. I knew that he didn't mean Knight Rider, but I could not think of anything sensible in the few seconds I had time to answer the question so I answered NO. Interviewer said that it is a basic requirement for the job and it seemed that I lacked the basic skill needed for the job.
Needless to say I didn't get the job. Later that day as I was telling my friends about the interview they seemed really confused....
"... but you know GIT very well. You use it on a daily basis. Why did you answer NO ?"
Damn, blew my interview on pronounciation issue :/9 -
Every week is the same. Wake up, new jira ticket. “Build us a pink house”.
*i build a house*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house doesn’t have sprinklers”
They didn’t ask for sprinklers. This is not a bug. *i add sprinklers*
Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT ASAP ASAP ASAP”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house is pink.”
HOW IS THAT A BUG TWO DAYS AGO IT WAS LITERALLY A REQUIREMENT
Meanwhile management makes triple my salary6 -
Manager: Give me an estimate for this project.
Me: It will take end to end approx two months.
Manager: Can you do it in a day. Make some magic happen. This is high critical for business.
Me: Sure. I have a small requirement from you to achieve it.
Manager: What
Me: Please get me the 'Limitless' capsule.9 -
Everyone generally agrees code reviews are a good idea right? And some form of testing is kinda a requirement before releasing.
Nope not my boss at the moment. None of my work has been checked in any way but is going out to thousands of users.
If I take the heat for bugs I'm gonna hit back so hard15 -
Our product owner's equivalent of "It's not a bug, it's a feature" seems to be "It's not a new requirement, it's a clarification."
:-/2 -
Today, I interviewed a candidate for an entry position. I noticed our job post had a requirement of 30+ years of experience in C++.
I fixed it to "Basic implementation skill in C++".8 -
So I have a teacher that when he use "C++" it is basically C with a .cpp file-extension and -O0 compiler flag.
Last assignment was to implement some arbitrary lengthy calculation with a tight requirement of max 1 second runtime, to force us to basically handroll C code without using std and any form of abstraction. But because the language didn’t freeze in time 1998, there is a little keyword named "constexpr" that folded all my classes, arrays, iterators, virtual methods, std::algorithms etc, into a single return statement. Thus making my code the fastest submitted.
Lesson of the story, use the language to the fullest and always turn on the damn optimizer
Ok now I’m done 😚
7 -
Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.5 -
Got a LinkedIn message from a recruiter looking to know if I’m interested in a full stack developer role, to only work on front end. The requirement is that I know one of:
“go, node.js, rails, python, C# .NET, RoR etc”.
I wonder who it is that doesn’t have a clue, company or recruiter (or both?).
I’m actually going to reply to this one for fun to try figure out this mess (yes I’m that bored)19 -
A lot of times during holiday parties, I meet new people.
Afterwards, often a quick group chat is created to share pictures with all the people there.
Every goddamn time we come at this point again where this is done and since WhatsApp is nearly considered a requirement to function in society (Netherlands) and I refuse to use it and other mainstream media...
The moment that I have to explain why I don't use WhatsApp arrives, yet again. I don't find it awkward anymore but it doesn't improve the atmosphere and getting called paranoid for the rest of the party also isn't the most fun thing ever!
In the end I usually get the pictures emailed.14 -
As I joke, I put in the requirement for links to be active on a printout. My developers showed up with QR codes. Touché.
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So someone posted
"Hello! I need very minor work. Just some bug fixes and debugging"
So I read on and the first requirement is
"There is no admin panel. Make an admin panel for my website"
Like seriously WTF.7 -
My favorite word to read in client-written requirement documentation: "Etc"
...Do I look like I have a crystal f-ing ball? -
You know the feeling when you deliver exactly what the requirement was and there were no more iterations and changes to those requirements after that??
No..?? Me neither..1 -
Do you ever feel like devs are the last people to know requirement changes, design changes, etc? And yet are the people who actually have to make the thing and ship it on time...
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We have this weird db naming convention requirement by the client all table names should be of 4 letters. And guess what somebody thought of naming a table 'ANUS'6
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I don't care what codestyle you want. I even can deal with codestyle I detest. (Looking at you, Vertical Alignment)
There is pretty much only one hard requirement:
It must be enforceable via autoformatting.
I won't manually edit a file because you have a preference.3 -
What the fuck has one of my clients been up to?! Every request he makes he suggests we might want to do it via a function.
"We need to ensure this is password protected. Maybe wrap the calls in a function."
I wander if he goes into the bakery and says, "I need a loaf of bread---use flour."
All I can think of is that someone influential in his life is an FP zealot and he's latched onto this word.
But, I quite like FP. Maybe I'll refactor everything to static classes to meet the requirement.
Hope to Christ he doesn't find out about HTML, etc. "Maybe add a CSS rule."8 -
!Rant But after seeing this I laughed like hell I need to share this to all my dev folks.
Client: “Our next requirement, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”
Client: No, we need an elephant only.
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…
Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”
At the Offshore Development Centre :
BA – Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development! Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.
Finally the customization is shown to client, and the client faints
Addon to this, testers completed their test case as above
1 -
Got a call for work around 0100. Missed it. Got a call at 0530, got that one. Now handling the other call at 0700. I have a requirement to be on within 15 minutes. It's been 6 hours.21
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Does anyone else despise buzzwords? A little background. I am a senior dev with a government organization who works in machine learning. As everyone knows, AI is the hottest of the hot now. Thus, everyone believes that they need it.
Long story short. I had a "requirement" come down to develop an "AI" algorithm that totaled all of the hours that a device was used last month. I explained to them that they weren't looking for "AI" and instead they needed rudimentary mathematics and a touch of Business Analytics for visualization. When they finally understood, they told me "nevermind, we just want to get into AI"...11 -
"PR rejected because you didn't do localisation"
"Wait, is that a requirement?"
"Yes"
"But there is no localisation in any of the 10 repos in this project!"
"Yes"
"So how do I know if I am expected to..."
"You don't, until I reject your PR"4 -
People argue all the time what text editor is the best: VSCode, Sublime, NP++, Emacs, Nano, Vim, etc.
I just remembered when I used to do my HTML, CSS and JS in regular Windows Notepad, as a requirement in my Web Developement classes...
I think some good came from that, I picked up a habit of writing my code very neatly, easily readable.17 -
Interveiwer: Do you like what you've learnt so far from your course in uni?
Me: sorry, but no the things they taught us were horrible and outdated and I only think of it as a legal requirement.
I'm working for his company for a year and a half now!5 -
You want to land a job as PHP developer? About to go to an interview?
There are two ways:
1. Be able to explain the difference between an interface and an abstract class and their purposes. (I shit you not.)
2. If you aren't able to, then simply state you don't know and are eager to learn.
(The second approach might not work if you claimed to know object oriented programming "very well" before though.)
Yet I am astounded in how many interviews people were either playing smart and just rambled on not wanting to lose face. During the remote calls of some special candidates I could even hear them typing on their keyboards in the background googling the answers to my questions.
And the irony is that I thereby had to veto their appliance. As they had lost my trust in being able to communicate honestly. And for wasting my time.
Our domain is complicated and ever-changing and not knowing certain parts of software development is *normal*.
Yet don't just try to fake it in order to land a job. It won't work, and when it does you may find yourself literally in the company of like-minded individuals.23 -
Question, I use VirtualBox and PHPVirtualBox on multiple servers right now. Love it and it works great but I'm wondering if anyone knows any good alternatives?
Requirement is that it's open source :)23 -
Can't remember how many times I had to change project structure just because they provided wrong/misleading/half-ass requirement
9 -
I hate asking questions but I need to right now.
Any suggestions for an easy installable email server like mailinabox? Multiple domains is a requirement :)46 -
*senior designer*
Last year I had a meeting with the newly hired Senior Graphics Designer.
She was presenting the new design of the company's website with all the features she wants.
After a few minutes, I asked her, did you design it as a responsive website?
"What is that?" She said. I said that the website should display or have atleast a design for mobile view and desktop view.
And she replied, "is that a requirement?"
Talks to myself: how the hell we hire designers like this?
PS, she earns 4x my salary5 -
The saga of requirements changed after the feature is done continues:
Manager: “I have reopened your ticket cause it doesn’t fit the requirements”
*checks for requirements changes*
“Updated 2 mins ago”
You fucking piece of10 -
Imagine if you will, a fictional world outside our own.
In this world, the requirement for getting a drivers licenses is 4 years of research into quantum mechanics.
- Was it interesting? Yeah.
- Did I learn it because I had to? Yup.
- Will I use the harmonic oscillation calculations of a particle when driving my car. Fuck no!
- Did it cost me an ungodly amount of money? It sure did!
- Will some dumb people still say it was useful because it is the minimum (fictional) barrier to entry for driving a car. You bet your sweet ass they will!!!
It was about as useful as any made up requirement, make-work, self-funding, circle-jerking, waste or time and money to feed the pockets of people who are too scared to do actual work so they teach, can be.
I paid all that money to be taught technology that was old when my mother was in school.
In the first year out of school, with only a $300 subscription to PluralSight some uDemy courses and hard work, I learned 100X as much as everything they put in front of me in school.
-------
School has its place.
Children who don't understand the importance of learning and need their hand help.
Adult children (some of which on on their 3rd or 4th degree) who also need their hand held.
People too afraid to enter the real world.
Doctors.
-------
I would do it again because it is the minimum requirement of entry, but thats nothing more than a bullshit make-work project.
Play their game as long as you need to. Keep your own game in mind. Don't drink the koolaid, just fake a sip. Then when the time is right, play by your own rules.
Peace4 -
Most ignorant ask from pm:
“So what have we done in the app so far?”
When the requirement gathering hadn’t even been completed yet.1 -
Three days thinking of a solution to a problem in HackerRank...
Came up with a very elegant O(n+m) solution... failing several test cases...
Check here, there, over there. Everything seems flawless...
Re-read the problem statement letter by letter. There it is, I misread the requirement. FML8 -
System design meeting with the client.
Client: We need feature X in the design document
Me: But feature X was not a requirement, so it's not in the document and we will not add it.
Client: But feature X should be a common feature today.
Me: That doesn't matter, it wasn't a requirement. And besides that you don't even need it today, the planned system doesn't even support feature X, so we couldn't implement it, even if it was mentioned in the design document.
Client: But we may need it some day, and what do you do, when we decide to enhance the system in a few years and we need that feature then?
Me: Then we make you an offer for feature X.
Inner me: You ordered a bicyle and now you want it converted into a delivery truck next year without charge. That's not how things work.3 -
I really need to let this out somewhere...
Why the f...? Srsly.. Why would anyone do that? I'm joining another project. Apparently lead dev has adopted a coding style, where:
1. Every dev writes code however he likes, i.e. no clean-code requirement at all.
2. All services are crud-only. I mean all service classes. All must have those 4 methods; no more, no less.
3. Half of the business logic is inside controllers.
4. Not a single comment... Interfaces, models, etc. -- not a single one.
5. Xmls -- tabs, classes - spaces.
6. Xml schemas are downloaded with each build rather than stored downloaded once and stored locally.
7. I can keep going on and on.
Is it just me or are these some really weird decisions?3 -
The push back phrase my manager uses when I try to discuss a requirement which I think is incorrect:
"It was discussed and agreed upon at the beginning b/n PM and engineering"
To hell with that, if 10 people arrive at a stupid decision, its still a stupid decision
I just sit back until the project progresses much further and wait for another senior dev whom they can't ignore to bring up the same issue.
It is supremely frustrating 😤2 -
Dev: The requirement is not clear. This seems to be a general usecase which you are thinking we might need but we won't actually need it.
Manager: You have to do it. This is the requirement. No other option. Don't ask any questions.
...... One week later....
Manager: Why is the team not open to me?1 -
As everyone were posting about their interview experiences. Now it's time to understand job requirements properly. 😂
3 -
It's my third week in my new company doing my internship. We have daily SCRUM meetings, project briefings, weekly meetings, requirement documents and other stuff - all in French. I only understand less than 50% of what's happening during most of the meetings. There's enormous pressure during meetings where I have to focus on every syllable they utter to try and grasp what's going on. So far they're still under the assumption that I understand more than I actually do. Haven't run into any major fuckups so far. I feel like an exe file in a Linux environment.7
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No matter how hard requirement look or the thing you're going to develop JUST START THAT SHIT it will take time but you can and will do it.
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2 days until I leave my job and I am assigned a large, legal requirement task to complete, with no time to plan or opportunity to hand over the work. No way it will be done in time, and no teamwork, so no one else will be up to speed on it when I leave, and I daresay I'll be blamed for it not working to their 2 sentence specification! Yup, that's why I'm leaving folks!1
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Junior developer vacancy.
requirement:
minimum of 10 years experience in angularjs.
I just saw this.8 -
Quite recently I received an email from a recruiter who first claimed that they had seen my resume, told me I may be a great fit for a job of one of their clients, and then proceeded to list the job description. That's typical, but what caught my eye was the fact that the first requirement he mentioned was 7+ years experience with Java. If he had actually read my resume, he probably would've seen that not only do I not have any experience with Java, but that I am a 20-year-old who made damn sure to put on my resume that I only have 2 years of experience in total...4
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Solved a small CSS requirement for my other boss. Feeling awesome. Someone actually looked for the front end guy to solve a CSS issue.
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Project management site, exclusively for use by our team and clients.
- The client creates a new project.
- They list the requirements, supplying all the necessary files and content.
- We challenge any stupid stuff by offering alternative solutions.
- We all sign off on the requirements and no more are allowed to be added or modified. If they forgot anything, it's on record who's to blame.
- We estimate time and cost to complete the build.
- If they accept, we finally begin the work
- At each stage of every requirement, we mark the status as pending, in progress, ready for testing and delivered.
Much less stress due to minimising change requests. Plus easier to follow than an email chain and easier for them to use than a jira portal.6 -
Had an online programming interview for a start-up, writing code into a shared Google doc while on the phone with the interviewer.
Specifically told that I could just use pseudocode, so I did, without worrying about access modifiers, full variable declarations and use of "new" for making objects, or specific type declarations, etc.
Got told at the end that I "lack experience, and really should have defined access modifiers, declared types, and so on, and that they needed someone proficient in Java. That was the first time I knew about their Java requirement.5 -
As a fresh/recent graduate, how I'm supposed to get a job if the minimum requirement for an internship or entry-level job is 2-3 years of working experience! And why the fuck my open source and personal projects don't add any value to my experience!9
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Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.
How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.
Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?
Or is this just some piss take?2 -
Life cycle of code
1- See what sound code I have written! It's beautiful.
2 - Hey we missed something last time, just add this bit of tweak.
3 - We need to add some flags for some exception cases
4 - Hey there is a new requirement. Just add some more paths and more flags
5 - More flags!
6 - This shit runs now more on flags than on the design!
7 - Flagception!3 -
Every University should make it a requirement that CS and Info technology juniors and seniors spend time on devRant. It is an education in real world coding and business challenges. No surprises. Easier transition to being a pro.
Wish it were available when I was starting.2 -
Doing a code review for a co-worker in a different country
The requirement was to dynamically show a field; they didn't understand it and thus they removed the field.
FML.2 -
1. Project start: requirement gathering
2. Create workflows and prototypes
3. Customer confirms the workflow and prototypes
4. Develop the system
5. Initial feedback : customer is happy
6. Testing and deployment
7. Customer changes the requirement to something completely different and says you just need to click a button to implement the changes
Wtf!!!!!!!5 -
Teaching a relatives boyfriend VBA so he can edit macros in excel, he has an interview next week as a junior data analyst and this a requirement. This is his laptop keyboard. Pay close attention to the placement of ctrl, shift etc. and the lack of a backspace.
9 -
Can we just give a round of applause to the brilliant recruiters that decided to add Microsoft Word as a requirement.
You know...to weed out all the computer illiterate software engineers......7 -
I was excited to get back to work on a major project today. I was thinking in the shower, on my bike, on the train, on the walk from the train to my office, on the elevator, about how I would approach it and came up with a good plan. Again, I was excited.
Then, on our standup call, a dude says he needs access to the util server I manage, and just happens to not know shit about Linux. So I spend the next hour and a half walking him through simple SSH commands, and completely lose my train of thought for the project I was planning to tackle.
Now, I'm seething on the toilet, hoping to reset.4 -
New web devs don't know the struggle of using spacer.gif, nested table layouts, and vibrant "web friendly" colors out of requirement.5
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So I just found out that half the software requirement specification that I spent a good month writing, half of it may possibly be scrapped due to the client constantly changing their minds about what they want to do.3
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A job requirement post I recently came across. Is there any other skill left? 🤔 Felt like these guys are looking for omnipotent being. Also left me wondering what skills I have since I can hardly cross out 1 or 2.
8 -
Brain: Imagine if human live for 500 years.
Me: It'd be so awesome...
Job requirement: 100 year of JavaScript experience for junior dev.
omg....XD -
I hope and wish that a big company will support/back up VueJS. Maybe then VueJS can be commonly seen as a job requirement.
Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk?15 -
Don't expect requirements that will "never change, guaranteed" to actually "never change, guaranteed"6
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Can we just.... Adapt css to every visual language ever? Like id gladly use c# or jfx, but the main requirement is to make the app look good so im stuck with electron.4
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When college professors want students to do college portal's works.
ACCEPT THE FUCKING WORK.
DO NOT CHANGE THE INITIAL REQUIREMENT WHILE I'M WORKING ON IT.
DO NOT CHANGE MY WORK WITHOUT ASKING ME OR AT THE LEAST NOTIFYING ME.
YOUR PORTAL LOOK HORRIBLE NOW WITH SHIT TIER MENU WHICH I SUGGESTED IN THE FIRST PLACE THAT IT WOULD LOOK GOOD THIS WAY. AND NOW YOU'VE MADE IT LOOK SO BAD MY EYES HAVE CANCER.1 -
Senior group project in college.
When you decide to meet up and one member doesn't show up at first meeting.
So I sent an email about the research I did on the feasibility of the project and how to implement a core requirement. 2 days later & no response yet..
Why do I think I'm gonna be the one the pull off the application by myself & then have to put name of people who have no idea how I got it to work..8 -
Hi, I am a recruiter representing awesome projects. It's the next thing after machine learning! You would be crazy not to apply.
But the is a strict requirement: you need to have 69 years of experience in devRant. Please comment if you have serious interest.5 -
VsCode.
I have been on a journey with editors, all the way back to using edit.exe in Windows 95, to notepad, MS FrontPage, Adobe Dreamweaver, PHPDesigner, vim, nano, then out to Eclipse, Atom, Brackets, notepad++, back to Atom, then VsCode.
And by far, vsCode has given me the most productivity and customisation of them all to not care about what project I open, what language it's written in, or what frameworks are working behind it. I can switch with workspaces and everything is setup to go, yes it's a pain in the ass to setup, but it's a ducking dream to just open and jump in.
Now being able to use VsCode for Salesforce has dropped any requirement for me to keep eclipse around.1 -
Just checked my work email to see what's coming in today....
And see someone on the London scheduled a 9AM meeting with me at 5:30AM my time.
Yes thanks for the advance notice...
Not going to be in the morning though and well the whole thing is BS based on some stupid new requirement that doesn't make sense.
Basically asking to migrate a while application to a new platform that no one understands yet.... Just to add a completely unrelated be feature...
Feature: 1month
Migration: 1 year based on the pre-reqs needed5 -
Why the fuck everyone in indian game dev industry is obsessed with unity fuckkkkkk !
Don't you know you only need some lite runtime like OGL or SDL for those shitty "hyper casual" games
Also why the fuck is an experience in building hyper casual games is a requirement isn't this side scroller hack and slash knockoff good enough for you to know I'm competent enough
Fuck you dumb shit for brains people who are heating up phones by using unity just for a shoot the hoops game.7 -
You are a developer and you will only log time you're actually working. This means you will not be logging time spent in meetings, chasing for specs, requirement clarifications and similar. You must log 8 hours each day.
^^-- wtf?!? Is anyone else working in similar conditions?12 -
Doing college homework! Computer graphics and multimedia! Yaaaay!!
Except....
Well I have to WRITE BY HAND the entire programs ( net about 500 lines, phew ) on PAPER!!
Reason?
Professor: it will help u get thru exams and is a requirement for university. They don’t permit printed. It is a better habit to write ur code than print it.
Me: goes to my corner and cries listening to sad music 😭😭😭
WHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Why do they have to follow prehistoric rules yet!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡4 -
Completed the coding for my story .One week later just a day before the demo,I am being told that the requirement has changed.Need to do from scratch and I have demo for it the next day ... 😶6
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I am a bad developer. I know nothing. I had a very simple requirement just to change the strings.
I couldn't collect all the requirements. I connected with PM offline, slow replies and miscommunications. Ahh!! How will I be shipping bigger projects? I have 3 years of development, in my last company we worked totally different though.
So, at the time when I thought I will be raising a PR I am stuck on the requirements.
I am a dumb shit. I can't do anything right. A simple requirement I am not able to deliver. I am so embarassed. :(12 -
Dev: We have a data quality problem. Combined with data silos, we can't trust the numbers. We need to agree on metric definitions as a company.
CTO: (Points a PM)Help him on the metrics he has defined. We'll discard any other alternate definitions inside the company.
PM: You can start with these. (Throws a bunch of metrics without their definitions. Doesn't respond to questions regarding definitions.)
After a week of generating aggregates,
PM: The numbers seem wrong.
Fuck I know the numbers will be wrong. Because you didn't give me the definitions and I'll have to deduce them myself.
Seriously guys, how do you deal with PMs who don't cooperate in the requirement analysis?8 -
I was taught that an IDS is a passive protection method, and an IPS is active. My security+ boot camp is trying to tell me IDS is active. Thoughts?
And yes, I'm still studying for this, I've been avoiding it because I'm salty I failed by one. But now it's a requirement, so I have no more time to avoid. :(4 -
Alright, guys. You have complete autonomy over this project, from ideation to execution. You can do exploratory interviews to find out what potencial customers would think, you can come up with prototypes, you can choose whatever tech stack you deem fit for the job. The only requirement is that it must be a beauty product. Oh, and that it must have a way to publish this ton of pictures of models our client has. Oh, and it must handle payments and inventory. And it may integrate with third party software. And users need to save the pictures they like. And a booking system. Is that hard to understand?2
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My foolishness of giving into an almost impossible dream seems to be finally setting in.
So the client, who is also my relative is launching an hotel. He wanted a website for the hotel with booking facility. The budget was plenty for that requirement and I was okay. In my calculations 20% of the proposed budget seemed fair to charge.
Few months in, it turns out he now wants a hotel booking platform where other hotels can also be listed. The reasoning was he wants to avoid the commissions charged by popular booking sites and also feature his own hotel in the booking platform that was about to be build.
I was skeptical about his intentions and my skills in developing it. I was also concerned whether he understood the responsibilities and overhead costs of running such a platform. He talked like it'll be fine. I calculated my billing to about 50% of the budget. I left the other 50% intentionally because I knew it would need for keeping up the site.
Time goes by, i am now 90% into completion of the new requirement.
Few weeks ago, i had informed about server pricing and I quoted a starting price of $15 per month. He seemed quite shocked. His reaction shocked me too and I got concerned whether I would even get rest of the payment ( already got 10% of proposed budget ) as advance.
Just few days ago, he now has a new requirement. He wants to show the hotel pricing from the booking site in Google Maps search. I tried to understand him that those are Ads and I was pretty sure price of running those ads are beyond his budget and probably negate any savings he is trying to make by competing popular booking platforms. Signing up for Hotel Ads as a booking platform is quite challenging. I don't think it'll happen.
I am now concerned he might bail on the project, so I have not informed yet. I just hope I get paid for the work I done and I'll inform then. :P
Anyways, the journey of it's development was quite insightful and challenging experience. I fell in love with a language I knew existed but never really bothered about and a framework whose only thing I knew was that it's name sounded cool to say.5 -
Something I came across recently
"Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file." -- Louis Srygley1 -
PM wrote a really high-level requirement doc and asked me about estimates.
Me: Well, functionality-wise it will take 4-5 days provided the design is ready.
PM: Our designers are really full on schedule; Just do it! Expand your creativity. I believe in your taste of UX
Me: Listen, the implemented design will take much more time to change if we go back and forth. It's better to revise on the designer's screen.
PM: Oh don't be so modest! I trust you already. Just focus on the functionality, get it done first. For the design we'll talk about it later. Move fast and break things!
Me: ..Sigh. This is gonna end up badly.6 -
Follow up on my previous post "I have no words". I didn't include all their requirements.
Here you go. (The top part that's cut out says Technical requirements. Those of you who didn't see my previous post, they're asking 15-20 CAD per hour in the most expensive city in the country. Also, on top of this requirement list and the other post, theres another section I couldn't fit where they're also asking 5 years of Photoshop.)
8 -
Guys, Recently I have started working on a project with a very tight deadline, and the requirement from the client was to build the application in Python - Flask; So I was browsing for a bare minimum implementation of Flask with Docker and postgres just like the perks we get in Django but unfortunately couldn't find any so I have crafted something on my own to help other developers in future.
Here is a very simple Flask with almost everything to get you started with your next project, feel free to use or contribute - https://github.com/codvlpr/dlask3 -
When your boss-slash-designer-slash-idea-guy puts in one 'tiny' requirement that puts a bottleneck on the entire project. . . and there's only one guy working on it.
Well, excuse me, this shit is not going to take a day to fucking implement. Let me just mark this task with a 2 week finish date. Someone pls save me.
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One thing my dev years have showed me through various systems:
The world is held together by masses of scripts. And most of them are horribly bad, unmaintainable, extremely complex and usually not replaced on requirement changes, but extended by other terrible scripts to get the desired behaviour.
Windows is based on tons of shitty batch scripts, powershell madness, WSH bullshit and VBS absurdity.
GNU/Linux is build upon trillions of incomprehensible shell scripts, heaps of python gizmo and perl mysteries.
Every complex system I've seen uses batch or shell scripts to fire up its runtime.
And it doesn't seem to get any better, so let's face it, we're doomed.3 -
Long time no rant.
Here's the summary of a review meeting I & team just had with our programming prof:
"You did exactly what I taught you in class, and I don't like it."
"To get a better mark you should've done more than what was required."
"This wasn't a requirement. You should've kept it short."
except we asked about it being a requirement earlier and only got vague answers like "that should be obvious."
Also, printing a class diagram over 2 pages apparently is unacceptable and we should've gone to a copyshop to print that as one page instead.1 -
Can anyone help me choose an antivirus for Windows ? If it is free it would be great !!
I am a full time linux lover, but I have to set up a windows pc for my parents, possibly win 7 on Intel NUC with atom processor.
The requirement is just ms office and similar applications.15 -
Love it when PM/business adds a bunch of extra tickets on the last week of a 3 week spring.
Or
I love it when business sends you a requirement, you build it, then they add more requirements that contradict the original requirements1 -
Boss fast tracked a release for a customer. No testing. Not checking commits or the state. Undocumented requirement brings down everything and everyone is running around with their hair on fire. Sigh.2
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Unrealistic employer:
Looking for a Full Stack developer with 8 years experience in Swift and 10 years experience with PHP.2 -
!rant
So on the last day before launch our latest feature I'm informed that a requirement was missed and it had to be implemented before go live otherwise the business didn't want the feature. The feature in question was pretty drastic and basically required a scheme rewrite, new tables, etc. So I spent the entire day making the change.
Thankfully I pushed the whole project for good code coverage. Therefore, all I had to do when I was done was run all of our tests and make sure they passed. *warm fuzzy feelings* -
Intel, wtf kind of drugs is your stupid site on?
Trying to make an account, the password requirement says "at least one special character".
Ok, no problem.
"Password format is invalid"
Wut? Hmm, maybe it doesn't like that one. Let's try one from their suggested ones.
"Password format is invalid"
WTF? The fuck is your problem?!
*reloads the page, tries again*
"Password format is invalid"
ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?
*adds the special at the end of the password instead of the beginning*
It works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
And then we wonder why bugs like Meltdown and Spectre come up. These guys can't even do fucking password validation properly.
And I've just lost 30 minutes because of this shit.
FUCK! -
Took over a NodeJS/SailsJS project from a previous developer that is no longer working at the company. There's no documentation or requirement docs and the models need to be rewritten as some have up to 67 attributes in them.
Looked through the source code file by file to see how bad it was and it will more than likely be easier to start over then to try and refactor and cleanup the existing project into a usable state.
As bonus, I was given the option to switch the entire stack if needed as well.5 -
Have you ever been so confused with the professor requirements for a Java requirement that you had to decompiled his fucking example only to realize he went COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT ROUTE THAT THE BLACK ASSHOLE HE REQUESTED? GOD I FUCKING WANT TO THROW THROW MY MACBOOK AT HIM, IM HERE AT THE UNIVERSITY FOR 12 HOURS, ITS FUCKING 5 AM RIGHT NOW, THE SUN IS FUCKING RISING AND THERE IS LIGHT IN THE SKY TELLING ME TO KILL MYSELF LIKE JESUS CHRIST WHAT AM I A CODESLAVE NOW? FUCK.
FYI, there's also an addition of 7 students with me too, we're doomed.3 -
As far as I understand I have passed the 10 point requirement to create an avatar. Had email confirmed. Why cannot I create one?7
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Back when I was doing my uni final year project. i was given the choice of either writing codes or writing documentation (graphs, requirement and a whole lot of other madeup bullshit)
I deicide go with coding, sign up with laracast. watch a whole lot of screen cast. and BOOM, coding is easy - I was literally quoting bombastic technical terms like many-to-many relationship to my group mates after 2 videos. (didn't even know what was bootstrap at that time) Thats was when I decide I wanna code for a living. Laravel made me a developer.1 -
Holy shit sometimes I hate my job. Current assignment: translate a C++ COM class to C#. Requirement: interface should not change. I ask the other team using this interface to ask me any questions so I can address their concerns. First FUCKING thing they ask for: a diagram explaining how to access the interface. For. Fuck. Sake. The goddamn thing is not changing. At all. I have said that to every stakeholder every time. It's a changed reference and a tweak to some calls to make them .Net calls. Why am I redocumenting something that was documented years ago?2
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I specified a requirement where certain bits in a certain message shall be evaluated for certain items. The tester came up to me and talked some BS about how to guesstimate these bits by totally different bits. I said, look up the interface definition, the bits are there. Got an email, same BS. Tester was just too lazy to look it up. So I answered that message ID X has bits 60-63 for the four relevant items.
However, I carefully avoided telling him which bit was for which item so that he knew what it was, but I still forced him to look up the inter fucking face definition. -
Google, please explain to me: Why the fuck would you create a hardcoded requirement in your libraries to use a plaintext json file with credentials to your API?
Credentials which give full access to all of the company email, addresses, cloud services, etc?
And why would you accompany this in your docs with example implementations which read as if they were an intern's first coding project — non psr compliant PHP, snippets of Go which won't compile due to type errors...
I'm starting to become convinced that the whole of the Google Cloud API was actually written by thirteen year old who found their parent's liquor cabinet.
Fuck this I'll build my own Google.1 -
You know what's bullshit? CS Degrees as a requirement, even for the shittiest dev jobs.
Sorry fuckers, I don't feel like killing myself over fucking math bullcrap for 3 goddamn years just to work as an intern slave for some rich CEO who prefers to hire some guy who doesn't know shit about actual working with computers but has a degree.
And this horseshit happens only in dev jobs. Why. Are devs some fucking nuclear scientists or something? I work as sysadmin and they didn't ask me for any shit degree and I earn more than the average code monkey where I live.
Goddamn HR fuckers. May Allah take you to hell.4 -
The job requirement was Node.js. during the interview , the interviewer told me that the company uses java for their backend applications. I looked like an idiot because I had 0 knowledge in java. And the asshole told me that if they should give me the job , would I be comfortable with using java. I just freezed for few seconds and told him no.
I think i will stick to the bullshit in my current job -
I am curious if this companies hiring requirement would be a red flag for you. They want at least one year of Typescript experience. Fine. They would not consider a person with 5 years of Javascript and zero Typescript experience.7
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As a new freelancer I didn't have much clients , so I paired with a web designer +10 years exp. who work with me as a pm and that was a bad decision.
Although I am a back-end dev , half of the projects were frontend/WordPress theme (less price than back-end projecrs) - so 30% of the projects were cancelled .
sometimes I receive project's which have requirement, like magento, I don't know anything about ,
I tried to push myself but I burned out after six month.
he deals with clients, partner with other companies ,and I don't know anything about the terms.
at the end I was like an employee without any benefits from his company .
moreover I get my money after 45 day!!!
and not all my money .
this is a project I work for another company through him
A requirement for mobile back-end server was integrating with parse and that was my first time working with Facebook parse so ....
after two weeks ..
we received email from parse that they'll shutdown their service after a year .
so we moved to Amazon sns again my first time working with aws .
at the end I can't charge for extra money but my pm became a gold partner for that company .
the only thing that made me hold is that I need some high quality projects for my c.v.
-----------
he didn't show on hangout because I need my money .
this will be my last project with him.
wow I write too much ... I feel better now .😥1 -
Any dev who is asked to give “deadlines” then cried about how it’s “waterfall” and you cannot produce business requirement deadlines in agile methodology needs to stop being dependent on terminology and learn that part of programming is proper estimation.
Milestones, business deadlines and agile can go-exist. Anyone who says they don’t, then cries “waterfall” when asked to produce deadlines greater than 4 weeks out, please never work with me11 -
A very frequent topic for rants I see is the slowness and high resource utilization of Android Studio. My first thought whenever I see these rants is, "why not just use a normal IDE or a text editor?" Is Android Studio a hard requirement? Will no other software allow you to edit Java code and assemble it into a usable apk?6
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I was once working on a grand vision of a suite of analytical tools, which later turned into a single web app, which later turned into a desktop app, which eventually turned into a command line app, which ultimately turned into a background service that writes the results of a small subset of what it was supposed to do into database tables.1
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Does anyone here reject a requirement because there exists no elegant solution to it and you shall die before writing spaghetti code?🤔6
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Just checked my college's website and every thesis has to use times new roman. But thats a proprietary font?? I mean they do provide student licenses for windows but why the fuck is using a proprietary font a requirement?11
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I luv flutter so much. Have been using it to the point wre I can say I'm comfortable with it. Had he hope of doing freelance jobs with it buh what I didn't put in mind is the fact that I'll need a Mac. Most of the freelance flutter jobs have d android and iOS requirement n I don't have any kind of access to a Mac to test the application 4 now. Really need a mac😑 or a way out cuz I do luv my PC tho! ... Yay! My first rant! This feels lyk therapy😂4
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> be me
> watching FRIENDS
> lurking internet
> get a message from the manager, "we need to deliver WordPress + woocommerce + cost calculator theme to the client".
> "but I'm, not a WordPress developer"
> ??
> "okay, I'll just find a theme for it on ThemeForest"
> *sends theme as per description*
> *reverts back with HTML5 template* "see if we can use this"
> to be honest, that template was not even close as per requirement.
> *sends another themes back and forth*
> ???
tl;dr : she finalized the theme I intially sent after half of the day
shall i just kill my self slowly with fire? -
Must contain 8-18 characters, 1 lower, 1 upper and 1 special character. Cannot be the same as email address.
18? Why fucking 18 characters? That's not any pragmatic limit. What fucking product owner came up with that requirement?8 -
I hated Java and was skeptical about C# in the beginning (I never code in C# during my early college years).
But when I tried coding in C# as a requirement for our internship this month, I was like "fuck Java (seriously), C# is the shit!"1 -
every time when i needed to attend user requirement spec meeting with client but i fucking don't know anything about the system
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I'm writing a website for a café and I'd like to use a new tool for generating content and managing it. Only real requirement is a SCSS pre-processor and maybe built-in Auth.
Any suggestions?3 -
Requirement: "Build teleport using a teapot and some tape"
Yesterday I spent most of my working day staring at the screen thinking about it, without being able to write a proposed implementation document. I felt the most useless person in the universe.
Me, today at daily stand-up meeting: «Honestly I have no idea on how to proceed, please assign me a different task.»
Manager: «Well, just think about it a bit more»
Great.1 -
After requirement are all agreed.
Client: How long will this development takes?
Me: About a month.
Client: (Pause for a while) The previous developer took 6 months and the system was unusable with a lot of bugs.
Me: ... (I should have ask for 3 months at least)2 -
!rant but kinda
Rails 7 got rid of webpack and Node as a requirement, and for this I am super happy. I heavily disliked having to depend on Node for what is in fact a Ruby framework. I understood the need for it, and I always applaud Rails for being at the forefront of the web dev world and all of the trends that it contains. But maintaining both the node modules required, plus the gemfiles etc was just a big hassle for the simple projects I ever worked on.
This is coming from someone that actually likes JS and Node, but I am thankful this was decoupled.6 -
happy new year! what do yall have planned for this year? I'm thinking about writing me up a miniature jarvis to automate my Web Development business, nothing really special just automated invoices, website installs, calendar, contract signing, etc. where all I have to do is type up a requirement list and code2
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So a product manager emailing devs long essays on requirements? how does that sound? Aren't developers just supposed to implement the specifications? Is requirement gathering and design their job too? Maybe I need a new job before I go crazy.3
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Started working in big firm from past 2 months, I was learning about company, its products and what it does. To speed up things I asked one senior who has 8 yrs of exp, she said she also has no clue how things work here......
Now I know why I was hired as an urgent requirement......1 -
F the app store. My app is getting rejected because they claim 10% of my product should not need an user account to view. Now I have to spend another week changing my frontend and backend, delay my launch, just to satisfy what is essentially a stupid Apple-only UX requirement. This exact same binary was approved a week before... Seriously, screw the reviewers and the high horse executives at Apple.3
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Had a job advert where they legit said a requirement was following the waterfall methodology.
Nope. Nope nope nope nope.
4 -
Do you still charge your clients extra for HTTPS being it’s practically a requirement now for SEO purposes?7
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* break it into elementary steps, small enough to fit into your "estimation time unit", e.g. days or hours.
* estimate those steps for "developing at a leisurely pace" if nothing goes wrong.
* think about "what could go wrong" (list everything!) and adjust values accordingly.
* adjust total amount with experience values, like:
* times 1.2 for every manager
* times 1 to 4 based on which legacy projects i have to touch
and finally:
* multiply with `1+log(t/u,2)`, with `u` being the amount of useful data in the requirement description and `t` being the total amount of data in the requirement description
* sample: with our current "favourite" customer, about 90% of all tickets is garbage, so t/u = 100/10 = 10 => log(10,2) = 3.3 => multiply everything with 4.34 -
So i applyed for a remote job recently and they assigned me a project as a test. The only requirement is i have to use sails.js as framework along with angular. I am thinking of quitting before i even started. Two days reading the sails documentation and it sucks big time. I am searching how to use sessions and it explains me what a session is. Fuk dis i am out.3
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Hi all devRanters (if that is a thing),
I'm currently in grade 10, and I'm looking forward to a career in computer programming. I find that sometimes Maths is very intimidating, as such, I want to ask all of the devs here: is Maths really that crucial to the job? Or is it merely a requirement to go to university and get a CS degree?
Thanks in advance!8 -
If you, as a product manager, can't give me requirements on a specific ask, how in the hell do you expect me to deliver anything? "Move thing from system A to system B" is not a fucking requirement.3
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Job requirement:
> Have been on a career break for a minimum of 6 months
???
What kind of fuckery is this?3 -
One of the largest "modern" payment startup/service here in India has a password requirement of "8-15" characters. One Number and one character atleast. Doesnt support special characters. And did I mention it won't allow previous passwords.2
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Look, extra remote team member. If I hired you with the express requirement that you work and/or live in sync with my time zone, and you claim to live and work in my time zone for a few weeks but you're lying to me and you were actually just on vacation here and have moved back overseas, you SUCK. And now we're firmly entrenched with the project and it's near impossible to fire you at this point if I don't want to deal with a whole new developer and learning curve!!!
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Sites requiring a maximum password length, does it mean they store the passwords in clear text?
Or what would be a plausible explanation for this stupid requirement?5 -
I hate when they give new people that don't know the software the job to update requirements. We used to have 2 use cases that touched a functionality. Now we have three. The requirement was added for the third case. He held us up bitching that that the newly added requirement for Case 3 didn't include Case 1 and 2. Dude. That shit has been in the software for 4 years. Those requirements were written by requirements guys that are better than you. Don't waste my time with semantics. Only I'm allowed to waste my time on semantics.
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Right now, I'm doubting my reading skills.
I'm doing a feature acceptance presentation and half way through they're like "did you handle cases A, B and C?"
No.
Fuck.
Now it's got to be rushed in ...
And all because I can't read the spiderweb of requirement docs -
So yeah, we took a Cisco Certification exam 2 years ago in high school. If I didn't procrastinate to study, I might pass the certification. The requirement was 60%. I got 55.6% in that exam.3
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I prefer it doing 2 tasks parallely during the initial phase of requirement gathering and design phase.(makes more sense if you are working extremely new system and framework)
1. Keep collecting requirements from clients and understand them.
2. Collect different designing aspects for the project and parallely, build a POC for 2 purpose: to get hands into the new Framework and also as a demo to clients. Working on POC helps in 3 ways: Improving understanding of requirement, improving framework knowledge, and playing around with code whenever bored of designing and reading tons of existing designs..
3. Once primary requirements are clear and fixed, analyse all different designs, if possible I setup meetings with senior devs, principal engineers (they help a lot when it comes to reviews on scalability and reliability of a design)
4. The above design is mostly architectural level. Once design is fixed, then I start taking each component and prepare a detailed implementation design. (Notice that whenever I am bored of designing, I spend sometime in building POC)
5. In detail design, I focus on modularity and flexibility. Anything defined should have getters and setters for example. This will help you reuse your code. Keep the interface between components in your design as generic as possible, so that in case your MySQL is change to Postgre or NoSQL, your design should be able to adapt new features..
6. Instead of building entire project, define feature targets and deliver small features.. this will help you to be in line with the requirements with minimum deviation. -
Developing nanosatellite to be launched with foreign company.
The ICD (Interface Control Document, basically guidelines regarding design) is clear, but there are some key points we needed to ask with the launcher.
I've sent email to ask them regarding those questions
Then got a reply saying that it'll be forwarded to the engineering team.
That's it. 2 weeks in, no reply. Tried emailing them again to nudge them, no reply, resent the email the following week.
Still waiting till today.
Please reply me 😂😂😂1 -
To become reasonably proficient in AWS.
It's the one relevant area I feel like I'm being left behind in at the moment. Every other job listing I've seen has it as a requirement or a nice to have, so it'd be a good box to tick. -
Terrible project with unclear requirement, lots of legacy and a client that doesn't know what he wants. Quite a bit of procrastination because of this situation, then crunch day & night to hold the deadline.
Then the project was scrapped.1 -
Again with the fucking idiot recruiters...
Wasted several hours in interviews only to find a significant travel requirement that I can't do. Wouldn't have gone beyond the initial email because a fuckwad recruiter didn't think to ask all the questions recruiters should.
Are recruiters just 'developers' who didn't have the smarts to develop code and so settled for technical recruiting? They sure seem stupid sometimes6 -
Trying to get my SPI SD card reader to work with hwlib...
I can't get the fucking library to do what I want...
(I have to use it, it's a requirement for the project)
There goes my fucking weekend... -
Job requirement for mee position opening in 11 days: CISSP...
I want this job. Anyone have tips on how to pass this exam in a week?4 -
Dev1: "what was that requirement? I mean, do you remember that little yet hugely important detail ...?"
Dev2: "hmmm sort of ... Maybe it's in one of the emails, possibly 2 months ago. Let's try to find it"
Dev3: "wait, probably Dev1 was not included for some reason in that thread of emails"
Dev2: "no wait, I mean the other, the one we used to talk about those other specifications from previous meeting..."
[and the story goes on]
Now you may think "ok, this event happened once and was a misstep. Shit happens"
Actually, this is the bread and butter in this company I collaborate with. All their requirements are spread across thousands of emails, usually mixed together and possibly forked into different threads. Often people are cut out from conversation because someone forgets to "reply all", other times they're lost in time.
When I asked them "why don't you use some other tool, maybe something more organized and easily searchable, something structured..."
They replied "no no, we prefer to use email for historical reasons"
My brain just melted like chocolate under the sun2 -
Systems guy: this is how you slow down development projects. By tying design to a software development ticket.
Software guy: yeah but that's how you get reminded to do the work and tie a design requirement to the software development effort in the ticket.
Systems: why do I need to be reminded of my design work?
Me: because you're a year behind software and at this point you are just documenting what software has already done?
Sometimes I feel like the design guys don't understand that if they want to be involved in the process they need to NOT keep us waiting until right up against the deadline to give us the design. -
I've always considered myself a stalwart proponent of strong, effective security. But I'll be damned if my company's security policy isn't choking it's developers out.
It's like whenever a developer requirement and potential security vulnerability meet, the company doubles down on the security side, ignores their dev's needs entirely, and then takes a privilege away just to punish us for having the audacity to try and do our God damn jobs.6 -
My short story about my interview today.
Hr: we have some repetitive work and deploys project very long.
My inner voice: why u post about having this kinds of skill if you want to just post in wordpress and also have a lot of requirement if you only edit and add post to wordpress, you should not hire a php developer you need a content uploader or some other thing.
Me: i think this job doesnt fit me. -
Basic requirement of every Data Science college internship:
1) 2-3 years of experience... God damn it
2) Research and publications...(yeah right! in 2 years of college in which you taught me how to "work with" C on Turbo-C... I should have god damn publications... Well worked my ass on and have 2, but guess what campus internships says.. " no fucks given man", solve those damn segment tree question first then we will talk)
Its an infinite recursive while loop
FML -
Business people sure are good at being boring. Makes you wonder if being boring is a job requirement.
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!rant
So, my company already has subscriptions to rally (jira alternative) but the current team fucking uses an online SPREADSHEET to track work items! it's easy to track, blah blah, fuck you. The feature requirement is just one fucking line long. Are you kidding me. Don't come back to me saying something is not working as expected when you didn't specify how it should work.3 -
Why did I ever move to a cubicle in a more densely populated area? (>_<)
So many people constantly talking. It's like it's a requirement to be loud to be on this floor!2 -
When you are looking for an internship in Software Engineering and the company's main requirement is "experience with Office" and you are like... WTF?!2
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My company design floor plan and some photoshop work for clients.
One project was to resize the image to certain width and height and place it in the center of the photo with padding 40px around.
I wrote an extended script of Adobe to help the design department and process thousand of images within an hour.
My Boss was so impressed and have a meeting with me. He said: "You need to lead IT department and create a system that can detect the client's requirement and complete the drawing with Adobe Illustrator automatically".
Me: Thinking (Meh, I have no knowledge of Image Processing with my poor Mathematics, where can I die with his requirements?) -
So I started learning Java and there are lots of boilerplate code. To use some Date functions there is a requirement to import it first before you can use it lol. In PHP and JS no need to import anything so less code.20
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Having to work with requirement analysis, attending to worthless meetings, acting like a project leader from time to time and developing in two projects in parallel really fucks with your head. Feels like this is hurting my ability to progress in code a lot. Anyone having the same situation?1
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I am more of a backend guy. I just started coding in frontend too. Now I have to change some of the hardcoded things and those should be come from the backend. Yes this is the requirement.
Don't know how will I do it at this stage 🤔 -
What JS framework you don't like but you were forced to study it due to job requirements? I like vue but there are only few job postings that require it. Most jobs here are angular and react. I know angular now and currently learning react because of job requirement reasons hehe!😄3
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The main driver behind my use of social media is work meetings. Thank god for no requirement to have camera on.1
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God damn project managers...
'we've know about the requirement for about 2 months but we are only just doing something 3 weeks before the deadline'2 -
So we had a requirement to build some email templates and the guy who was working on that was unable to make some good one.
And I build kinda one and ........... They liked it.
(I'm not good at frontend things and they still liked it lol)
And now they are flooding me with loads of templates to make, and I must say building RESPONSIVE email templates is a fucking pain in the ass and takes a huge amount of time if you're new and your client has provided complex designs with shit loads of fonts which are not supported by half of the inboxes. Maybe I'm not familiar with it that's why.2 -
I hate this type of Developer who always asks to add everything as requirement for every single detail. Company is paying you for thinking, or at least asking BA, not only coding requirements in Java/C#/whatever and denying fixes because it was not in requirements.3
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Spent almost a month writing real time sync between two platforms for client. Changed it n times to fit their custom conditions. They tested it for real time sync.
Now suddenly their requirement is to have scheduled sync and it is "As we discussed in the beginning".1 -
Sales guy: Client has a new requirement, wants it by the weekend.
Me: but did you tell him why we've an alternative for this here.
Sales guy: cool, complete it by weekend then. -
That moment when you work butt off whole month for some requirement and when you finish that, the Email comes saying stop doing that because they want to change their whole platform.(SugarCRM to Salesforce).
Now I have to learn that (Hope it goes well).
I'm happy because "bye bye php!" and little sad because now I've to spend half of my time learning Salesforce. -
I need a new professional email address and i was thinking of going with an encrypted email service, do you guys have any recommendations on what to use?
My only requirement is that it needs to work with desktop email clients like Thunderbird, i am too lazy to use a web browser :)11 -
!Rant what's so hard about multithreading for newbie programmers. (An actual question. Trying to tutor some friends who just don't get it)
It's practically a requirement for MVC.
In c# it's extremely simple. Just create a background worker with a handler/interface.2 -
Vague requirement for feature A received from client
Business consultant refines
Example mapping done
Acceptance criteria defined
Scheduled in sprint
Development done
Unit tests passed
Pull request reviewed
Code merged and deployed to system test
Functional testing successful
Deployed to UAT
Client asked to sign off
Client: "Actually I don't want that feature." -
Is it possible to get through a work week without hearing about a surprise requirement when the deployment is supposed to be one week from now?
Bonus points: One week from now, deployment is delayed due to more whatever shit they forgot to take care of in the biz side1 -
I started learning WordPress out of curiosity.
Configuration and deployment was easy peesy.
Site is up and running, BUT
Real challenge is, customize it according to clients requirement.
I purchased paid theme as well. It has theme builders installed to.
But I couldn't make it according to client requirements.
I neither found any resource where I could learn WP site customization.
What I'm doing wrong?18 -
Alpine 3.10 image's shell doesn't know globstar. After reading some article and feeds written by GNU and stackoverflow, I replace ** with {*, */*, */*/*, */*/*/*, */*/*/*/*, */*/*/*/*/*} in CI scripts to meet the temporary requirement sadly :/3
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Reading some system design study materials.
Unless it's literally a startup from scratch. I feel like that proper response to the "design youtube/twitter" question should be: I really hope your product team comes up with better requirement than just design a product, get to it -
I hate having to ask for work when I'm out or blocked, it's a dynamic I'm not at all comfortable with yet it seems to be a weekly requirement.3
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So I've been looking at web dev job apps recently and reading over some of the requirements needed and almost every company advertising for a web dev is also wanting a web developer who is also a 10/10 web designer... this proper irks me as after doing a course which helps you ease easily into the web industry being a competent designer wasn't a requirement.
Why is it that to be a web dev now days you need to be also good at designing?1 -
Shopify sucks. Change my mind.
"The Postmates app is no longer available for download. If you already have the Postmates app installed, you can continue using it until January 10, 2019."
So, if your client built their site so that it depended on this app for a big requirement in their online store fulfillment, you now have to hope that there's another app that could match its capabilities. Or, you have to spend more budget to develop your own so you have 100% control over it. -
When you read a requirement wrong and can start coding all over again after an afternoon of work...2
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Tip: when doing transactions, don't pay as cash even if they tell you it is a requirement. Tell them you will pay via cheque or via bank transfer with a contract first with a seal from an attorney. You must have a valid copy first of the contract before doing payments. Also, get a photo of 2 valid IDs the person you are doing transactions. They require you personal infos and IDs? Require them also that.
#noContractFirstNoPayment1 -
I have never seen such a requirement, but unlike a lot of you guys, I haven't worked professionally as yet. Have any of you seen anything like this?
"The Prototype at this stage is responsive, following a minimum width spec of 320 pixels. *The prototype interface is fully operational using Browser Zoom levels from 75%-150%*. Layout must conform to the grid at these settings."2 -
Boom, my boss agrees that the work I’ve spent the last 3 months on cross checking spreadsheets, manually inputting 100s of records into the system, then closing them and inputting more records isn’t the best way to do this particular task.
As the process wasn’t designed for this.
So I’m getting to build a new program that will integrate with the existing software, but make the job easier.
It’s not going to be easy, the software only supports web services so no apis, and it is massively lacking in documentation, but hey, I actually get to do some development work.
And there is no deadline, but I’ll probably knock up proper requirement gathering docs etc, so it gets done properly -
Leave it to an investing company 'dUe DiLigAnCe' document to list the following requirement:
"Schema of computing infrastructure setups for development, testing, and production"
Ah yes, the highly technical and well-known term of "schema of computing infrastructure"
God I hate business people, so clueless
BRB going to start my own business and make real money. if these neanderthals are top investors, i can be too2 -
I do all this work to make an elegant solution to, frankly, a dumb requirement. And a newer dumber requirement comes out that requires someone to modify my solution. Normally not a problem. But this is a backend solution given to a frontend developer to modify. I told them how my solution works since it did 90% of what she needed. But instead, they reinvent the wheel and I have to fix it. I was supposed to be done with this 3 hours ago, but unraveling this knot is taking for fucking ever.2
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It was great when non tech guys explained me the requirements. Now a bunch of technical managers do with no clarity to themselves and obviously we revamp it every time we give them a demo.
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So I have noticed if I think I know much of logic in programming and I can solve this problem better way I actually code better.
And when I think no I'm just a noob programmer I ask stupid question to myself and get my self confidence blown.
Thing is don't think you are bad, think of just you'll put all the experience all the knowledge you got in this program (according to its requirement) -
Is there a way to implement Google analytics to a specific page.
So, my requirement is to let the user add his/her Google analytics to their page on my application. The page is in sub-route of the application (user/username)
Can I allow a user to do that? Are there any articles related to this?10 -
Holy shit. Do NOT open a Wells Fargo banking account. On top of their ridiculous password limitations, your password is NOT CASE SENSITIVE. I tested. Caps lock, no caps, a mix, it doesn't matter.
More info on the password limitations at my other rant https://devrant.io/rants/905148/...3 -
I decided that in order to fill my community service requirement for school I would help a non-profit with their website. I show up on day one to help out and find out that it's a Weebly site :/2
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At the place I intern, we're managing a project that's quite old (about 8 years). There's a specification document that discusses features but the mentioned stuff has been subject to incremental changes over the years so that these documents no longer fully discuss exact specifications of a particular feature. I'm curious on how you keep track of such incremental changes to a feature? Do you update the specification document with the new requirement document or is there some other way to do it?1
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0. *gets on podium* All people being able to work together without yelling at somebody. For just a day if that's too hard.
*hops off*
1. A job in computer science without having to study all of physics and chem till 12th grade, It's a requirement here that you need to study all three sciences if you want to pursue just one, and I wish I could escape from it, it's stressful.
2. Not Dev related, but hugs.4 -
Thoughts on significance of Software Requirement Specification and Software Design Specification document in the industry?
Coming from a student struggling to understand the importance of it. -
Do you usually study and choose a technology that you like/prefer or what a job requirement requires? 🤔2
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How do you normally train junior PHP devs?
1. Tell them to figure it out themselves which definitely take longer time
2. Spoon-fed what they need to do which hopefully will make them understand something (?)
3. Others
I hardly ever have a good senior dev above me that can teach me. So I'm really open to any suggestions.
Some of the problem of what I see in my junior devs:
- inconsistent lines and spaces (lol)
- multiple unused db calls
- not reading requirement properly
- not diving through the code and try to understand it properly (usually needs to be handheld which is understandable since they are new)3 -
Been using a MBP the last 5 years. I would like to move to pure Linux laptop. Any recommendations on laptop brand?
Back in the day it was always such a PITA getting Linux to run on a laptop due to non existent drivers for sound and wifi. Has any laptop manufacturer filled this gap yet?
I don't want to spend all my time getting the laptop to work, which is why I went with MBP. Reliability is my first requirement, followed closely by performance.5 -
I was supposed to write test cases for existing code using gtest. No one wrote any test cases in our team but the framework setup was there. Cmakelist
I did everything I could but just could solve a linking error.
Asked all the senior people about my issue. No one could solve it in 10 minutes and it was also not a functional requirement so no one really bothered. I tried and tried and tried. After 2 weeks 3 days. On Thursday morning at 11 oclock I could solve it. I was under a lot of stress. Seriously those days were bad 😔
My manager used to think I'm technically weak. Now things have changed. And Cmakelist is awesome. -
I was working on something for 5 days from a requirement, extremely satisfied with the results.
The boss comes over to see what I've done and says it's not what they expected.
The requirement was poorly written because what he said compared to what was written is two different things.
Tip: Share the work and the code you've produced (at least inform) to make sure you are on the right path. There is always a gap between a requirement and what the stakeholder actually wants. -
I know Python but never done web-development and needed it for one or two project. The requirement is some data-api and graph. There is flask and django but I'm not sure how should I proceed. ????11
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Ok, so i got an epic requirement from business.
Business wants to implement something like this. On a save click this popup should be opened with further 2 options "Save" and "Save As" having radio button in front of each button to enable and disable the buttons and input boxes and obviously error/success message should be
displayed according to the option selected.
Team denied to work on the requirement.
5 -
PHP guys: Magento is so rampant nowadays. Are you currently using or studying it? If not, do you plan on studying / using it even if it is not a job requirement? 🤔9
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This currently project I'm working on is taking a turn for the worse. I keep finding missing features from the designs, but then also the project manager remembered that there were these other requirements that were needed. She only remembered after I raised an issue about another problem because NOTHING has been written down. A wireframe is NOT a fucking requirements document.
So now I have to refactor 2 major components just to include this sudden new requirement. I really hope I don't work with this project manager ever again on any future projects. -
Do you Python or JavaScript for a newbie on the current requirement who has prior knowledge on c++.3
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fuck peoplecert. youre software is crap. i dont have anything against yoire requirement that you need to see that someone doesnt cheat. but WHY is my cpu burning and so buggy. i needed 1 hour until the client started the test and somebody was able to see me and the desktop. 10 restarts of your client and one reboot IS TO MUCH.
By the way: i passed -
For our internship requirement. We developed a web-app with inline Javascript and CSS. I know, it was only a matter of time for our senior dev to kill us. HAHAHAHA2
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No matter how hard you try to cover every requirement, there will always be at least one you missed, if not 100.
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I suppose the modern equivalent to waiting around code compiling is building the bloody Docker images. Vastly exacerbated by the requirement of an X86 image on ARM hardware.
FML 🙃1 -
Project manager pissing for a ticket with a vendor that provides no dev credentials, a new json property is added to an analytics script causing no harm at all, been chasing the PM for a week to do a deploy and merged the changes to a branch that has 6 different requirements, gotta do it early hours so I can enjoy my holidays with no issues...
... Project manager decides not to go live because he even told the stockholders of the existence of the requirement -
Alright, could someone with more experience tell me if nowadays the job application requirement of "x years experience needed" is something fixed or flexible?
My friends say: "That's the ideal candidate, but they are flexible if need be." but I see employers these days state that the x years experience is in fact mandatory and required.
So.. who can demystify this for me? : )15 -
Achieved a 2:2 in computer science and graduating (got interviews with for some jobs). I have some sits in some modules, which could change my grade to a 2:1.
From a company point of view, is it worth going for the 2:1? Will it open more jobs / better salary straight away? Or shall I go for the first job offered with the 2:2 I got.7 -
The requirement to lock down my workstation when I leave it + no SSO has done wonders for my bladder control.
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WTF ! Spent the whole day yesterday refactoring an old code and today a new requirement came, which adds a new functionality changing the entire code again.
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A friend outsourced a project to us with partial requirements. We developed it as per the requirements and submitted the app and admin portal to his client. I was aware of certain critical features missing in the requirement. Generally we provide an admin portal to manage the backend of the app, but in this project a backend was to be made but the adding or modifying users section was not mentioned in the requirement. My team presented the project and convinced them to create or modify users writing SQL queries on the production DB (they are sales guys with no technical knowledge)
P.S - we won't be responsible for any DB errors :P -
Just because your service provider implements a well-known spec one way doesn't mean it's a requirement for mine. The spec clearly defines this field as "optional".
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client: I'd like to see this and that on this page.
co-developer: but those aren't in the requirement!
me: #facepalm thinking, "Who hired this guy?"6 -
!rant
I am going to my first hackathon in 2 weeks and am kind of nervous. I don't know anyone and don't have a team. I was wandering if it is a requirement to work on a project? There will be a lot of workshops and I am sure I will learn a lot even without working on a project.
If you could give me some hints on what I can expect that would be really helpful. -
!rant
Guys, I started working on a few web dev projects the last weeks and I'd like to know your opinion on PHP. Is it a requirement for backend? Can I do the same using Node (or another?). I have pretty much no knowledge on it, but I have some xp with JavaScript. Is it worth to study PHP today?7 -
i think google should add a button feature in google meet which gives user feature of playing statement of " yes mam" and" no mam" based on requirement of user to save students from that fucking online class in which professor are forcing students for their responses ...
i hope any one from google notice this post a nd take a thought on that
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