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Search - "black magic"
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I found this in the HTML for Hackerrank. I started laughing and thought you guys would enjoy it as well.8
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*QA chick tries to run software
*software doesn't start / throws an exception
*she does chmod 777 *
*still doesn't work
*blames developer
SHE DOES A FUCKING CHMOD 777 ON EVERY FUCKING FILE AND FOLDER LIKE THIS IS SOME BLACK MAGIC FUCK14 -
Since there's no such thing as Black Friday in my country, when I first heard about it, I thought it's a gathering for wizards and black magicians to perform some rituals.10
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Having to deal with stupid testers who think your app should be resistant to water and black magic and report a bug if it is not5
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> TeamLeader1: I just discovered SQL is actually super fast! The low responsiveness I've experienced comes from our ORM!
> IHateForALiving: well of course SQL is blazingly fast. SQL has been refined by the best engineers in the world for the past 50 years, its performances are unparalleled for everything you could possibly need, unless you want to scale REALLY big. Sequelize, instead, is an Active Record ORM, so it's bound to struggle with huge amount of data, because every single row will get attached a significant amount of black magic to make sure everything syncs correctly. Why is that?
> TeamLeader1: I have a problem with this frontend component, it doesn't allow pagination. I tried downloading the whole DB to bypass that, but the ORM is slow... so I will bypass the ORM and download the whole table with a raw query. Look at that! It works like a charm, it's super duper fast!'
This mf is downloading some 35 thousand rows every time some user loads a page because he doesn't know how to paginate the fucking table with Angular, there's no way these people are real.12 -
A few days ago I went to my local bank again to check my balance and see whether some transfers that I've been waiting for have been completed.. as I was walking there - headphones on, music full blast - I was zoning out a bit. Of course I was, not like I have to mind cars in the middle of bumfuck here. There's hardly any in this town. So meh.
Now that day there was one.. I was just about to cross the road and suddenly looked left, and there it was. A mindless meatbag behind the wheel of a killing machine - an average driver. Visibly startled I suddenly stopped and waited for her to drive away. At this point she was about 20-ish meters away and already stopped. Come on bitch.. I already stopped and I am not going to cross this road as long as you're here. Hit the fucking pedal.
So she accelerated again.. and drove to the parking spot at the other side of the road, then stopped there. Oh, cool. Maybe she needs to be somewhere in this town. … Not at all. Bitch accelerates again, and stops yet again 2 parking spots further. What the fuck (ಠ_ಠ).. and I thought that I was an idiot...
Then she accelerates yet again and drives away. Looked after her, astonished by the amount of brain damage she just caused to me. Must've been a Facebook user.. holy fucking shit. Through what kind of black magic do these people get a driver's license?!4 -
In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.
Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!
But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.
Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.
In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.
Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.
This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?
Only the future will tell.16 -
When working in embedded, you basically write your program, compile it and flash it on some hardware.
Compiling and flashing usually require some black magic commands with lots of parameters so i set up two shortcuts in my terminal
yolo to compile
swag to flash
Understandably i keep it to myself1 -
*launch software*
> goes tits up with no info
*restart machine, launch software*
> still goes tits up
*su to the user it runs as and run it manually because fuck you shitstaind*
> still goes tits up
*launch with debug logs enabled*
> suddenly works
What is this black magic?!10 -
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.
First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???1 -
I was at a meetup yesterday where the topic was PHP7. I'm frontend though went there because of my backend friend. I have one question. How the fuck do you guys understand PHP? To me it looks like total black magic fuckery. Respect to all my backend fellas!9
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Not entirely sure if should be said an IT company but yes I would mention SHAREit.
The well known file sharing software, I remember using it most of the times for file sharing between my Android devices, it previously was only meant for "File Sharing" but now they're just more into ads, video recommendations, news etc etc "useless stuffs".
I mean who the hell in this world would like to open a file sharing app for trending WhatsApp video recommendations? Getting notifications in a language unknown to me? Who has even asked you all for this.
I know ads gives you profit but atleast not the trending movies and all for a file sharing app.
It was good overall in the start but now not they're not working in a way they used to.
PS: image below is a SHAREit notification for someone doing black magic on a kid. See, stupid stuff! not even a news to be read just fake stuff. Atleast show some serious ads or else just rollback to your previous version.7 -
idk if I´m getting better in coding or Android Studio is using some "black magic" but after working on a project for like 2 hours it compiled without any error.2
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FUCK! The fucking previous dev on this project who set up the fucking web service that he knew would be shared among multiple platforms set it up to use an audio format that's only supported on one platform. Now I'm faced with either doing some fucking JS black magic to decode the fucking base64 audio, convert it to another audio format, and then possibly re-encode it or attempting to re-write the fucking web service and already in production app! Fucking hell!1
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Worked on a WordPress Multisite project that required digging around to find ways to hook into areas that weren’t meant to be hooked, create and add custom core files that would withstand updates, ensure certain plugin capabilities were available even if the current site didn’t load them, and a variety of other black magic that I’m too fried to remember off the top of my head.
By the end of the project I more or less felt like a god in WordPress—There’s little I could ever want to get it to do that I didn’t know how to do.
Then again, this is all probably a long way of saying I learned some very bad ways to do things. Mercifully, it’s fully documented with PHPdoc blocks down to the loop level so that even a 3-year-old should be able to figure out the logic...
All this to say, I’m definitely ready for a new project.3 -
When you're doing a demo and switch to a workspace with a green-on-black terminal with tmux on it, sending requests in a while loop and polling some output every second.
And then people (mostly devs) start posting Matrix memes in the meeting chat
Feels good :)
This always reminds me that what's a casual tool for me, for others it may be an esoteric unicorn-magic-powered super geeky stuff.3 -
Holy shit firefox, 3 retarded problems in the last 24h and I haven't fixed any of them.
My project: an infinite scrolling website that loads data from an external API (CORS hehe). All Chromium browsers of course work perfectly fine. But firefox wants to be special...
(tested on 2 different devices)
(Terminology: CORS: a request to a resource that isn't on the current websites domain, like any external API)
1.
For the infinite scrolling to work new html elements have to be silently appended to the end of the page and removed from the beginning. Which works great in all browsers. BUT IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE SCROLLING DURING THE APPENDING & REMOVING FIREFOX TELEPORTS YOU RANDOMLY TO THE END OR START OF PAGE!
Guess I'll just debug it and see what's happening step by step. Oh how wrong I was. First, the problem can't be reproduced when debugging FUCK! But I notice something else very disturbing...
2.
The Inspector view (hierarchical display of all html elements on the page) ISN'T SHOWING THE TRUE STATE OF THE DOM! ELEMENTS THAT HAVE JUST BEEN ADDED AREN'T SHOWING UP AND ELEMENT THAT WERE JUST REMOVED ARE STILL VISIBLE! WTF????? You have to do some black magic fuckery just to get firefox to update the list of DOM elements. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEBUG MY WEBSITE ON FIREFOX IF IT'S SHOWING ME PLAIN WRONG DATA???!!!!
3.
During all of this I just randomly decided to open my website in private (incognito) mode in firefox. Huh what's that? Why isn't anything loading and error are thrown left and right? Let's just look at the console. AND IT'S A FUCKING CORS ERROR! FUCK ME! Also a small warning says some URLs have been "blocked because content blocking is enabled." Content Blocking? What is that? Well it appears to be a supper special supper privacy mode by firefox (turned on automatically in private mode), THAT BLOCKS ALL CORS REQUESTS, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT DO SOME TRACKING. AN API THAT 100% CORS COMPLIANT CAN'T BE USED IN FIREFOXs PRIVATE MODE! HOW IS THE END USER SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT??? AND OF COURSE THE THROWN EXCEPTION JUST SAYS "NETWORK ERROR". HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE USER THAT FIREFOX HAS A FEAUTRE THAT BREAKS THE VERY BASIS OF MY WEBSITE???
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL FIREFOX??????????????????
I actually managed to come up with fix for 1. that works like < 50% of the time -_-5 -
Today while cleaning windows, came up to my mind how I miss when developers not only knew what is but also how to implement ajax requests properly....
Nowadays a framework with 10 composer packages will do the trick, and looks like black magic to juniors3 -
New team, same discussions...
* Why should we use cmake? It is way better to add visual studio project files to the repository and allow everyone to mess around in the compiler setting dialogs. Nobody needs cmake if not targeting multiple platforms!
* clang-format? What kind of black magic is this? It is way better to manually try to stick with each source file's existing formatting - regardless of how messed up it is - and manually check that from time to time!
* Why should we use the latest visual studio 2019 compiler, if 2017 and 2015 do just fine? This way we can save license fees!
/irony off
Just to mention a few highlights...13 -
When it comes to the idea of programming and magic, or the comparison between software developers/engineers, computer scientists etc as magicians or wizards, nothing brings the idea much more close to hearth than the C programming language.
A while ago I read the R.A Salvatore books concerning Drizzt, the dark elf. I loved the books, have not continued reading them but I remember them vividly. There was one book in which a human magician came about wielding extremely explosive magic, humans were capable of channeling large amounts of it through explosive and unwieldly ends.
This is the same feeling I get from C
Consider:
int items[] = {1, 2, 3};
printf("Third : %i\n", 3[items]);
and fuck me if shit like the above is not dangerous, it makes sense, arrays have the first items of it server as the pointer address to a first element, doing the above operation returns the third element of the array of 3. But holy shit if I don't think this is dangerous and interesting as fuck
there are many more examples I have that I am finding through me fucking around with: language development (compiler, interpreter), kernel programming as well as net sec. C is the most powerful and devastating thing we have in our hands indeed.7 -
Fucking experimental technologies. I feel like doing webassembly stuff is like buying a smart device, it's not worth any of the trouble for now.
I wanted to do some webassembly-stuff with rust and yew (basically react for rust). I was really hyped because it all looked promising and i found this cool band "heilung" whose music made me my coding feel like black magic with complex incantations and shit.
A basic webassembly setup did work, but everything afterwards was pure shit. Crate installation didn't go as expected, i get weird errors even though i simply copied the example (and checked the versions). The best i got was when i tried to compile and rust told me to go fuck myself because i cant use feature XY in a package in the stable environment. Why the hell would someone even publish said package then? After losing half a day because of this i give up for now. I don't feel like a badass magician anymore anyways, more like the guy that puts mentos into coke and gets hit by the foam. -
The feature was to parse a set of fairly complex xml files following a legacy schema. Problem was, the way this was done previously did not conform to the schema so it was a guideline at best, which over the course of many years snowballed into an anarchy where clients would send in whatever and it was continuously updated per case as needed. They wanted to start enforcing their new schema while phasing out the old method.
The good news is that parsing and serialization is very testable, so I rounded up what I could find of example files and got to work. Around the same time I asked our client if they had any more examples of typical cases we need to deal with, and sure enough a couple of days later I receive a zip with hundreds of files. They also point out that I should just disregard the entire old set since they decided to outright cut support for it after all if it makes things simpler. Nice.
I finish the feature in a decent amount of time. All my local tests pass, and the CD tests pass when I push my branches. Once we push to our QA env though and the integration tests run, we get a pass rate of less than 10%.
I spend a couple of days trying to figure out what's going on, and eventually narrow it down to some wires being crossed with the new vs. old xml formats. I'm at a loss. I keep trying to chip away at it until I'm left with a minimal example, and I have one of those lean-back moments where you're just "I don't get it". My tests pass locally, but in the QA environment they fail on the same files.
We're now 3 people around my workstation including the system architect, and I'm demonstrating to the others how baffling and black magic this is. I postulate that maybe something is cached in my local environment and it's not actually testing the new files. I even deleted the old ones.
"Are you sure you deleted the right files?"
"Duh of course -- but let me check..."1 -
Starting up the new Java project I'm assigned to.
Just to see that this project is made of pure black magic and tears of forsaken devs.
Crashing the jvm with segfaults on a regular basis is just one part of the magic.
Now I understand why no one volunteered for this project...2 -
!rant
@dfox How do you feel about an update to the profile page? I want to link to my personal website, perhaps some regex black magic to override the github link if it matches a URL?
Or just a new input?7 -
I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.2 -
Year 2023
phone charges from 10 to 100% in <30min
battery holds for 3-4 days
... I still can't believe it.
What kind of black magic is this...23 -
I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant
(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)11 -
When you use an Android app on daily basis, upgrades every time when you can, then you remove and reinstall it and get a very different UI and feature set. What kind of black magic is this?
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God damn it, if you (libGDX) have default values for public methods then make those constants public. Now I am writing wrapper and I either create my constant with same value as your private one, or do some reflection black magic which will probably break after obfuscation. *sigh* Going with my copy of the constant, not happy about that...
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Working on something...
-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?
Attempt a few fixes...
-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?
Attempt other changes...
-Why is it still not working!?
Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...
-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?
Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...
-...Why does it work now... -
This is a place for ranting, right? It's "Dev"-"Rant", right?
So, why so much hate when people do actually rant?
Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Or maybe the name is just misleading...
Or maybe y'all just gate-keeping ranting - which is... ya, okay - you do you, you preppy tosser.
Anyway, on that note:
I fucking hate web-development.
I fucking hate CSS.
CSS isn't a tool, it's a curse.
It's like a soft black magic system:
This specific behavior can sometimes be created by combining these specific elements, but will fall apart if you're a gemini - unless you wore a colorful hat at your fifth birthday party. If you didn't have a party, it'll produce some random behavior of the deer-god's choosing.56 -
Best part of being a dev: when I try to explain what I'm doing to non-dev, they look at me as if was talking about black magic. A mix of fear and admiration.
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<!doctype confusedRant 😕>
Plot: we need to release our website in two weeks which holds at least a thousand pages. All these pages are manually migrated from the old website, which doesn't have a database. Current status: 650 pages/1000 are completed, 40 different templates need to be adapted. I'm alone on these templates, my colleagues create the pages and fill the new database
So I'm working on the templates a WebDev coded for our website on a licensed CMS, and had this decently simple html block that looks like a square and consisting of roughly this (Emmet style):
a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p
After adding another <a> element inside the p, I noticed that my <a> wouldn't display and bust the whole look of the square.
Just for more details, the CSS the dev made is ultra specified (meaning each element is too precisely "described" : div.class .child .child2 { /* styles */ } when it could be .class .child2 for example). Also, the templates he made need to be compatible with any "module" the website has, thus the need of this high specificity
So I fired up the DevTools to check what happened, and had:
Expected: a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p > a
Actual result: some new a.area were wrapping the <strong>, the <p> and the <a> I just added. The source code was not showing any of this but just the rules I initially wrote - the expected result
Wtf?! I thought the JS the dev made was adding elements. I disabled said JS, and bam, these a.area were still wrapping everything!! What black magic would add these stupid tags I never asked for.
So I went looking in the CSS files in case some wizardry was happening, but everything was OK.
I tried changing my structure, changing tag (swapping a.area to p.area or without .area), HTML just said "nope, have those please".
Eventually I rewrote my own module out of frustration after three quarters of an hour fiddling with this stupid "module". I hate losing time for such shenanigans and under a lot of pressure because of deadlines.
Still haven't figured why those <element>.area would wrap everything out of nowhere...3 -
so my friend and I are canvassing NLEs for our guys at the Post Production squad in our project (we were in charge in infrastructure). We looked at Premiere since it's kinda ok until we found Black Magic Design's Da Vinci Resolve.
First of all, I was suprised with the price. 299 for the Studio Version? Holy fuck, that's cheap as hell! Then there's a free as in free software version which has the core editing features with 1080p rendering. So we grabbed that and kinda suprised it requires postgres but as seeing Resolve having collab and render queues, it makes sense.
Installed them on the PCs the postprods gonna use, they were amazed. We literally saved 500 bucks for an NLE. When they asked how much is it. Our reply was:
"That's free".
and there was silence...
"And it's also 299 bucks for the cooler version".
And silence still ensued.
Guess our guys wasted alot of money on a pipeline that is cheap as hell but more jam-packed than any other NLE found in the market.
Props to you BlackMagic Design. -
I think that the most inspiring moment in my life, at least when it comes to programming, was the moment I realized that, that thing standing next to my desk isn't just a black box of black magic. It's a black box of black magic I can harness. That I can use my knowledge and my will to create stuff. Not only for my entertainment, but things that are actually useful and helpful to others.
This thought helped me decide to pursue career in IT. -
It's a good intention if you want to separate your code in logical units and split it into multiple methods, but could you please stop handing the control flow through about 20 methods before even really starting with the actual logic? This mess is 10 times as long as it needs to be, because someone decided to make everything go through 10 "validate one little thing" methods for every method with actual logic!
Edit: DevRant didn't allow me to post first, now I've analysed the code a bit more and the control flow actually goes out of a specialised class into a generalised class and back (not by returning, but by calling the specialised class from the general one) and the parameter that says what specialised class to call gets written into a class variable, then read from there and passed as a method argument, then back into another class variable, then the code changes it up a bit as a local variable, then passses it as a method parameter again... First it seemed like it knew what class to call using black magic, but no, it actually just hid the fact really well that it did in fact pass the class reference through in multiple forms from beginning to end. -
The end of today was extremely fun.
Imagine the surprise. I was importing a simple 8 GB big virtual machine into the Proxmox hypervizor.
First issue: It was in the Open Virtualization Format (.ova) for easy import into... most hypervizors... Not Proxmox, however.
But really, not that bad, there are ways around it. Create a blank virtual machine through the UI, scrap the disk you create, then extract the two disk QCOW2 files from the .ova file, which by itself is just a POSIX TAR archive. Then import them through the commandline.
...So I did just that. The larger of the two was about 8 GBs, the other just like... 50 MBs.
The larger imported fine. The smaller?
Color me surprised, when it created a FUCKING. 1. TB. LOGICAL. VOLUME.
...
That it then proceeded to try and fill full of zeros...
Oh yes, it was one of the fancy dynamic storage files that expand as space is needed.
...
Tomorrow, I'll have to try if I can export just the filesystem data into an individual, shrunken down, normal, plain, old disk. None of this fancy black magic shit.
...Also... I don't get why Proxmox doesn't support that... The filesystem was only a few megs big... Ugh.1 -
Python list and dictionary comprehension is some crazy awesome black magic. More languages should have these.5
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Super curious: Ive broken my arch frequently. And then fix it and go on with my day. Or an update causes some weird package confliction because I used pip instead of pacman for one library or whatever.
But I keep hearing from different sources that "arch being super unstable is a myth. It never happens!" Okay surely not all the time, my system is usually pretty good but:
Do you people never `pacman -Syyu` ?
How have you not broken everything?! Or do you just pretend like the AUR (the best thing ever and also the source of most of my problems) doesn't exist? What black magic are you doing to appease the arch gods?8 -
The documentation of scala akka http may be just gibberish as far as I am concerned. You would think that hooking into the marshalling process (aka de/serialization) would be straight forward, I've dealt with similar problems before and solved it.
I have an object, it should be transformed into a Json and vice versa. Should be easy as pie.
Not with scala and akka-http. The docs tell you how to achieve something in dozen different ways yet lack a complete example. My first custom marshaller I created in a "marshall" package in my! namespace, but it was breaking scala compilation due to some black magic.
It's not clear how when and why marshallers are added, they just somehow are. Why do I have to deal with entity marshallers vs response marshallers. I just want each instance of a certain type to be transformed into a specific Json presentation.
Asking on stackoverflow also only yields in incomplete hints of "just do boargh" presupposing certain knowledge while sounding borderline condescending.
Currently, I just want to burn the project and rebuild it with fucking PHP. Flame all you want, at least I would get things done and the JMS serializer library has decent documentation and it works in an expected way.
Akka-http, combined with Scala, looks from my current rage-driven perspective like a solution worse than the problem. -
Working on an Angular project for the change of things. God, please kill me already.
Its fucking slow - hot reload? I am gonna make myself a coffee in the meanwhile
Its fucking stupid - Why make it easy when you can make black boxed. Make the magic happen!
And please dont get me started on Ressources, documentation, error messages and all the other stuff thats annoying here. Never going back to Angular, if it wasnt paid that well…3 -
I thought nested list comprehensions in haskell were hard.
Until I tried to make a non fixed footer that stays on the bottom.2 -
fuck it, im giving my users permanent access tokens, because for some reason using refresh tokens is black magic to the internet -.-7
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https://medium.com/androidiots/...
Found a great article finally, talking about the android runtime and behind the scenes. Good job @androidiots.1 -
I'm doing a project for uni in Omnet (C++ framework that should facilitate working with networks of queues, simulating and displaying statistics).
I needed to retrieve a random value from an exponential distribution, and the function to do so requires a random number generator as input. The framework has 2 implementations of the RNG and I picked the first one.
I spent 3 hours trying every possible thing, using both the exponential() function and its class wrapper (both provided by the framework), it was always returning 0 or NaN.
The RNG was spitting out values correctly, so I thought it was okay.
When I was almost ready to give up, I figured I could try and change to the second implementation of RNG, expecting nothing to change. And it fucking worked.
Zero reports on this behavior on Google, no apparent reason why it would work with one and not with the other when the two RNGs literally implement the same abstract class and spit out the same exact numbers... Just black magic...
Oh and cherry on top, it works with the raw function but not with the class wrapper on that same function... IF YOU GOTTA IMPLEMENT SOMETHING IN YOUR DAMN FRAMEWORK THAT DOESN'T WORK, FUCKING DON'T! 1 combination working out of 4 is not good! Or at least document it!
Sorry just had to share my pain -
In retrospective, I believe everyone else find me one of the most annoying coworkers they ever had.
Sitting all the way back there, all alone, doing that "black magic"-shit that's called the Internet and none of us understand. The Internet is a fad that will pass, just you wait and see. How come he gets paid at all? Why doesn't the managers change his job description so he can do a proper job, like help out in the dinosaur business we're all so dedicated to. And if I try to suggest a new task for him - why does he always answer with question after question? Why do I have to explain? Why can't he just understand what I'm thinking? Screw him! I hate him.1 -
Damn lots of you knew this shit before turning of age.
I didn't code a single line until I went to college.
I tried to, but it was just too fucking complicated and I didn't understand a thing. Tried to grasp how to use some tools like Unity or an Adventure Maker of sorts and something called Flix for Flash games. Didn't understand shit.
I decided to study systems engineering due to a career aptitude test I took hoping somehow that way I could learn sthg.
First thing I was taught was bash.
When I realised I already knew enough to code a whole text adventure from scratch with such a simple language I felt really hyped.
Always loved text and graphic adventures.
Afterwards I was taught the Z80 assembly language and how CPU registers worked and it blew my fucking mind.
That was the first half-year.
Then I was taught C. And boy was it hard. Didn't get how memory was being handled until the very end.
I happened to be one of the few passing a stupidly complicated semifinal test with triple indirection pointers.
That felt goood.
Learning other languages afterwards was a piece of cake. C#, Java, X86 assembly, C++...
It was a hard door to open. Fucking heavy. But now nothing seems black magic anymore and boy isn't that something to be proud of! :D -
I had a colleague, who built a bunch of smaller systems for the company I'm working in. He didn't want to waste his time building a "perfect" system (which I generally agree with, the question is just where to draw the line).
But because it took him so long to build the prototype, usually it went into production without being hardened (like basic input validations were missing. It wouldn't allow anything malicious, but instead of a validatiom error it'd just 500).
When he left, literally less then a week later, one of his systems, which was a prototype and nobody except him could maintain, because it was done in a fancy new technology, which wasn't even v1 at that time and their documentation said, it's production ready when we release v1. Anyway, that one system started crashing just few days after him leaving. Another Dev and me tried to fix it, but every time we touched it, it just got worse.
At some point, we gave up and just configured a cron job to reboot it every 12h. He could have probably fixed it, but to us it was just black magic.
Anyhow, this rent isn't about him, AFAIK all the systems still working, as long as you provide the correct input. Nor is it about the management decisions, which lead to this Frankenstein service on live support, which we had to increase, to be restarted every 8 hours, 6h, 4h, 3h, .....
It's about the service itself, which I'm looking forward to every day, when the rewrite will be done and I can nuke the whole git repository.
I was even thinking about moving all the related files onto a USB stick and putting that on 🔥, once we're done rewriting it....
Maybe next month or in 2. Hopefully before we'll have to configure the cron job to restart the service every couple minutes.... -
The 'geniuses' at Business doesn't seem to figure out why all of their systems turn out to be dogshit and outdated within a year or two.
Its because they don't even involve developers/IT into ANY of theirs decisions.
It's kinda like the patient telling the brainsurgeon how to do their job.
Hey, I get it. We are a bunch of antisocial wizards conjuring black magic at our computers all day. I would stay the fuck away from us if I were you aswell, but please for the love of Cthulhu, let us in on your great plans and amazing decisions before assigning blame.
Regards,
Th3 h3ckerz at IT1 -
Every couple of hours a certain request from our web app gets a CORS error from our server. Refresh the page and everything works perfectly. WTF...1