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I love listening to music and reading on the train every morning. On my way to the station, I get a text, "DUDE. ***** committed suicide."
He was a good friends of ours from high school. I remember once he got a few of us to go caving on homecoming since none of us had dates. He'd never finish a candy bar; would give half of everything away. He once drove out to California to try to start over; lasted three days and came home, but through a girl he met he was in Hawaii for a year.
He lived a lot of life, and he had a heart of gold.
I didn't get out my ebook on my phone. I didn't even put my headphones in.
I had lost another close friend from University while I was overseas. I remember being in the city art gallery when I got the news. I walked right out to the harbor, fell to my knees and cried. I always thought one day I'd be home and could shoot the shit with my old roommate. Now he was gone, and the only thing I had from him was a text from 10 days before saying, "I haven't been doing too well, but thanks for asking."
I'm back in another software engineering job, on the train to an 8-to-5, shakin it for the money. I couldn't read on the commute. I just looked out that window as the train car descended into the subway, and thought to myself, "What am I even doing anyway?"
I'm in my mid-30s; too young to be losing people like this.
I'm sorry man. I wish we had caught up sooner. I wish you weren't gone, but I know you're at peace.23 -
Me - "Has anyone changed the password on the print computer"
Him - "It's the same one."
Me - "Carrots99?"
Him - "Yeah, what's the message that comes up?
Me - "Password is incorrect."
The dumbest conversation I've ever had in my fucking life. You little shit, I know you changed the password just to fuck with people. You've been reading too many books on elevating yourself, tried to be important for something. It means fuck all if you can't remember what you changed it to. So you held up two hours of my work, not to mention everyone else, because you can't help but stick your beak in shit. You dont think people can't see what youre doing? Watching you scurry over to the computer with a big smile, only a to fuck off silent as a mouse not to be seen mumbling some shit about a system administrator. Yeah you forgot it you prick.
Stop sucking up to the boss, and commanding people on what to do, when you're as junior as junior gets. Don't change our fucking passwords, just so you can have the whole team approach you the next day asking for you, then not remember them. You cunt.13 -
A non reproducible bug is like an annoying ex boyfriend who lives across the street.
1. You know you can't fix things.
2.You're always scared you'd run into him again.9 -
What the crap is it with job applications and requiring freaking videos now?
I'm not some social butterfly that wants to be all friendly with everyone and a part of their goddamn lives. Give me a problem and/or some code and I'll happily make it work; give me an extrovert with a goddamn video call fetish and I'll fucking leave.
I'm an engineer, not your salaried girlfriend.31 -
Met a guy who uses linux as his main os, told me stuff about setting up i3, powerline, git.
Then I woke up, good dreams
Edit; I don’t really have any friends close to me to talk about these stuff (some lives in different provinces)15 -
Fresh out of college?
Entry-level?
Apply Here!
Junior Web Intern: 16k A Year!
Basic Requirements: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Node, Angular, JQuery, Bootstrap, Backbone, Handlebars, D3, p3, CMS (WordPress, Wixx), PHP, Java (Android), C++(iOS), openframeworks, openGLSL, Cinder, failed at least two startups, 8086 assembly language.
Recommended requirements:
Git version control
Agile development
Must be able to display example of each requirement.16 -
Android : devRant is consuming too much power in background
Me : Say what ??
A : I said devRant is consuming too much pow.................
M : Who the fuck told you to rant about it
*Turns the phone off
No one speaks ill of devRant and lives long enough to tell about it.5 -
I wish we could branch out our lives like in git. Just fork at critical decision points, try out both/ multiple outcomes simultaneously, then reconcile and merge back into master.10
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This is Spork. Spork lives on the desk in my apartment.
My girlfriend bought the plant for her office but he wasn't getting enough light there so now he has a better home on my desk and gets lots of sunlight during the day.
4 -
Wife has taken me to IKEA to get her wardrobe she wanted.
I hate IKEA...
She's finally given in and taken my suggestion to leave me at the cafe to code.
Happy now!
17 -
Her: I like a man who lives dangerously
Me: I sold a game to my client without debugging it
Her: grab a mop6 -
It wasn't enough that the iPhone X's notch was making developers' lives hell; now each Android phone is trying to have its own style of notch. Eat a dick device makers.11
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Had a fun little conversation with a potential employer...
Him: We use git for version control. To work with our team you'll be expected to do the same and be proficient at it.
Me: Not a problem. I am well versed with all things git! May I ask, what does your work flow look like?
Him: All of our source lives in a single repo and everyone commits straight to master.
Me: 😐...
Him: Conflicts will not be tolerated.6 -
They say developers don't have social lives...
Over one half of my total commits on GitHub have been from just Fridays and Saturdays...
I mean, I guess they're not wrong.4 -
IF LIVES DEPEND ON A SYSTEM
1. Code review, collaboration, and knowledge sharing (each hour of code review saves 33 hours of maintenance)
2. TDD (40% — 80% reduction in production bug density)
3. Daily continuous integration (large code merges are a major source of bugs)
4. Minimize developer interruptions (an interrupted task takes twice as long and contains twice as many defects)
5. Linting (catches many typo and undefined variable bugs that static types could catch, as well as a host of stylistic issues that correlate with bug creation, such as accidentally assigning when you meant to compare)
6. Reduce complexity & improve modularity -- complex code is harder to understand, test, and maintain
-Eric Elliott12 -
Today I got told to stop using a repo and work directly from the FTP server.
Today sucked. That is all12 -
I swear 90% of people who apply for a dev job couldn't code to save their fucking lives.
Like wtf? You can't apply for a job as a commercial pilot, then turn up and announce you've never flown a plane before, so why is that accepted as being somewhat expected in development?
Fucking hell....9 -
What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.
I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??6 -
devRant - securing our users webcams and microphones since 2016
As long as devRant lives, your firewall is useless.
9 -
Who the fuck told my coworkers I'm their boss when our boss is on vacation?
Wtf, I don't wanna be anyone's boss, no one should want me as such...
I would certainly micromanage the shit out of everyone and make their lives a living hell.5 -
When the company is treating u like shit... Blaming everything on you and you just get fed up with em.. You be like...
2 -
To the junior dev in my office:
I may be old, but my generation fought wars so you could have your precious emojis. I mean, they were browser wars, but many lives were lost and families destroyed.4 -
People points at something on my monitor: My nuts climb the tree to hide
People points at something on my monitOR BY FUCKING TOUCHING IT: My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable. And fuck you.
Official statistics say that people who touches a monitors screen while im nearby, lives significantly shorter time than people who dont.
16 -
Oh Oh !!! Today is the 8 bit register overflow day....Happy 8 bit register overflow day to all 16bit registers..2
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So I've decided if I am invited to a school career day the what I'll do is this.
1. Start by handing out one of those logic puzzles that are like Sally lives 2 houses down from Bill, Bill is 3 houses away from Maggie where does Jerry live type of thing. Then I'll tell the kids they have 10 minutes to figure it out.
2. After about three minutes I'll tell them that they also need to figure out where Jerry lives and not give them enough information to figure that out.
3. 5 minutes in I'll start asking them why it is taking so long, and it shouldn't be that hard. I'll also ask about where Phil lives who was never mentioned before.
4. At 7 minutes I'll look for anyone who might be figuring it out and tell them there is a much more important high priority problem I need them to solve and give them a new puzzle and tell them I expect them both to be done on time.
5. At nine minutes I'll start yelling at them that they must not be that good and why they haven't finished yet if any of them complain I'll tell them they are just dumb.
6. At ten minutes I'll ask them to turn it in and then immediately throw it in the trash and tell them that wasn't what they were supposed to be doing, and tell them they did it wrong.
I figure that is a pretty good representation of what working in software engineering is like.3 -
JUST GO DIE ECLIPSE YOU FUCKING ABOMINATION I HATE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR COW AND YOUR VAGUELY RELATED UNCLE WHO LIVES IN SIBERIA24
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To all the leaders out there: Stop doing all shit on your own! Delegate! Have fate in your colleagues!
And fuck all shitty deadlines if no lives are at stake.
Cz yours is for sure!
...or you'll end like me with a heart attack at the age of 43.
Now i'm here at a health-care-hotel (dunno what it's called in english) for 3 weeks relaxing and doing programming w/o being stressed at all. =)
15 -
Congratulations? For fucking what. So you built a wix website. Now youre a web developer and the whole world knows it, my services aren't needed anymore.
Congratulations you bypassed half a decade in 50 hours a week of coding, then you have the bone and fucking marrow of emailing me because your like buttons are causing users to create a new instagran account. Good one kid.3 -
This is horrifying. Testing code seems to have been an afterthought that ended up ruining dozens of peoples’ lives.
“Bad software sent postal workers to jail, because no one wanted to admit it could be wrong”
https://theverge.com/2021/4/...11 -
Wanted to open the door to the outside word and see this fucker just sitting at eyelevel a few centimeters away from my face... I'm awake now.
And don't worry he lives his live outside now.
18 -
Cat schroedingers = Cats.getFromScientist("Schrödinger");
boolean lives = schroedingers.isLiving();
*runs code*
Kernel panic4 -
Personal Project:
Code lives in gitrepo, commits to master are automatically unit tested and if all tests work it will be published to production
At Work:
"If you're done put this .bat in the project folder, it will copy everything in it per ftp to production"1 -
What the hell is "4k mAh battery"? Come on guys, you know what that little 'm' means, please tell me you do.
You wouldn't say "4k miligrams". You wouldn't say "4k milliseconds". You wouldn't say "4k milliliters". So don't use "4k miliampere hours". It's dumb.
Just to be sure - everyone, repeat with me:
👏 0.000004 👏 MAh 👏 eqals
👏 0.004👏 kAh 👏 eqals
👏 4 👏 Ah 👏 eqals
👏 4000 👏 mAh 👏 eqals
👏 4000000 👏 nAh 👏
Thank for giving me 5k ms of your attention.20 -
Fuuuccckkkk! I just realised I made 120 commits over the past 100 hours.
It's a big thing for me as a developer and open source enthusiast because I finally understood how to work on open source projects with a team and also I've been able to give equal time to all my current projects.
Also, GitHub going green is a beautiful feeling xD
So proud of myself lol
1 -
Here is the problem.
We all make mistakes. It's part of our lives and we learn a lot from it.
But you motherfucker, acting like an all-knowing being amongst all the developers. You think no one knows better than you. You learned something 2 years ago and you think nothing has been updated after that.
You make a mistake, you accept it and learn from it. But if you think you know everything, stop asking me to review your code. Fuck you, cocksucker.4 -
If you upvote this rant I'll place a million in your account. All I need is your routing and account numbers to transfer the monies, as I am a Nigerian prince who lives too far to give it to you in person2
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Why I hate my job: 18 out of 21 developers are Chinese daily smokers barely speak English.
Why I love my job: We build software/hardware to predict future earthquakes and save lives and hundred million or even billions dollars in damages. And of course make China super rich by selling it.10 -
So I'm installing Ubuntu 18.04 iso (downloaded via Mobile Data) from an SD card through a USB adapter, (on an HDD)
What are you guys doing with your lives?7 -
I worked for months staying up till 3am almost every night in order to collaborate with a team on another time zone. No one ever praised me or thanked me or gave me a pat.
Yesterday two members of that team stayed up till 2am once for the first time in their lives to make a release. They got immediately labelled as the most dedicated employees.
Okay, sounds fair.7 -
Me - "I need to find the children"
CTO- "Okay. How many?"
It takes about 10 minutes to realize the conversation you just had1 -
So I finally did it and quit my job.
The new company seemed to be a really realy nice place to work.
And yesterday I heard that they even allow one colleague to sleep 2 nights a week in the office because rents are high and he otherwise lives far away. They even bought a sleeping couch and a washing machine for him. O.O
can't wait to start to work there!4 -
Some people tape up inputs like camera and mic to keep gov and hackers out of their private lives.
Me, I'm an exhibitionist.1 -
Am I the fucking only one here that lives from paycheck to paycheck in the middle of Europe even tho I earn not bad....
I hate money...13 -
My ideal dev job...working for a charity that creates free tech solutions for primary schools and children to promote safety and learning. One app I have in mind is a resource for victims of bullying, and another is an integrated Virtual Learning Environment that truly provides pupils and teachers with the tools they need and want.
Basically I want to make a positive impact on the lives of children and make that available to everyone, not just the schools who can afford it.3 -
Just why????
long d = date(toDate) - date(fromDate); // days
Please just name the variable days............2 -
This whole racism shitshow needs to fuck off. I had a problem with a coworker today who happens to have a darker color skin than I. I was cheated, robbed, and assaulted while on the job and did nothing in response, and somehow I'm still the bad guy.29
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| Me and my team presenting an half-assed AI project to our lecturer.
Note that the algorithm doesn't work and we have a placeholder |
Lecturer after looking only at the UI: The project looks very good, I believe we are done here.
Team member: Don't you want to check the code?
Me: *trying to choke him without anyone noticing*
Lecturer: No need.
Lives were saved that day.3 -
Fucking kill me. Is this really all we do with our lives?
1,715 JIRA-related emails. ALMOST TWO THOUSAND EMAILS. I mean seriously, that's BY FAR the largest email filter I've got. I mean I had them muted of course, but when you really think about the whole thing... are we just wasting our lives chasing some garbage that doesn't really matter? ugh.
Death approaches...
9 -
Hahahahaha... my father threatened twice to beat me to death on Monday, then wondered today why his daughter (who thankfully lives with my mom) won't come to see him anymore after watching him break shit because I asked a simple fucking question.
As long as there is breath in my body I will hate and resent this man, and I hope that for all of humanity's sake neither I or my sister have kids. My family name breeds such shitty people.12 -
I once saved lives sending cpr teams to heart attack victims through an sms gateway platform.
This was amazing considering it was back in 2008 ;)11 -
"The laws of mathematics are very commendable but the only law that applies in Australia is the law of Australia", said Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull today.
Now what the fuck is this? Why would you propose a blanket ban on end-to-end encryption or force companies to build "secure" backdoors? At this rate retarded politicians would make our lives too difficult.
https://eff.org/deeplinks/2017/...3 -
*9 months ago*
We want this feature! Our clients need this feature! It's gonna make their lives so much more convenient, and perhaps even deprecate other features!
* nobody uses it *
* Today *
Someone used the feature and screwed up cause they didn't know how to use it (the feature was working fine). Let's delete it.4 -
Why not to use gitlab:
-Runs on ruby which is VERY VERY VERY wasteful in processing power and thus in energy
-It's hosted on azure
Why to stay with github:
-There won't be a lot of change
-It's reliable and this won't change so fast
-It's like admitting defeat towards MS who want to ruin our lives lol27 -
So there it goes again,,, I am thinking about quitting again.
I feel that I cannot be the sole sysadmin for a company whose critical IT-infrastructure lives on Life-Support, deprecated software and hardware, and the unwillingness to actually invest it in.7 -
My mother lives and works overseas, and she'd complain about her IT department all the time.
Wish I could get work permit to work there, but I'd have to serve in 'their' military for 2 years...
Yeah, totally makes sense. Nope.5 -
The statistics group where my friend works wrote a paper about the cost, both economical and in human lives, of the lockdown strategy in the UK. And in purely mathematical terms, this strategy was not a great success, to say the least. They were rejected from several journals, with one them writing back to say that while the work is solid, "it's not a message they want to advertise".
Science, my friends.7 -
This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.
Fuck Java 🙂8 -
So a little story about finding your way. I worked at an IoT software firm, very well established. I had a hard time with the on boarding process due to some factors, and I must have lagged behind their mental schedule for my growth. It was clear nonetheless that I was a quality coder and had made some friends there.
It wasn’t enough for the ensuing corporate bullying. It went by and I took it. I became the yes man just so I don’t frustrate anyone enough to turn away my ask for help. This made things worse and before long, I a grown man went to visit my mum and all but cry at how small I felt, after all my hard work getting to the company.
I felt sick with failure but I knew I couldn’t go back. I emailed my resignation and dropped off my company laptop.
4 months later I am working at a medical startup with my own projects, that I have 100% control over. And the quality of my work and ethic is pleasing upper management in all the right ways. I’ve never been happier, and there are barely any perks on paper. No free lunches on Thursdays or discounts at the local high street. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because I said NO to feeling or being treated any less than I worked and progressed to be.
Don’t let other people stop your potential for their own ego, or any other reason. 😊 -
FUCK. This person who I have to avoid at social gatherings because I find him insufferably annoying is applying to my workplace and oh my God I hope I never have to work with him, at least the company is 700 people so the odds are relatively low?
Uggggg he's the worst. And I'm so easy going. There's like two people I feel this way about (fortunately the other lives in a different city).9 -
At this day, July 18 in Eastern timezones, one of the globally recognized animation studios in Japan, Kyoto Animation - more known as KyoAni, has been deliberately burned by an arsonist, and has claimed 20 lives and counting.
Please give a moment of silence for the fallen in KyoAni. All they wanted was to make people smile despite the low wage situation and Japan and this happens.8 -
Shoutout to the homies wihout a horrible father figure in their lives. Can't say I'm part of the gang7
-
10 year anniversary 'celebration' for a couple of employees (one dev, one a DBA) and the VP of the department was saying kind words about them, talking about the 'good old days'.
VP to the DBA: "I apologize, when you started, you walked into my database architecture. I didn't know that much back then and never thought about the architecture much beyond a few years. Its amazing my design has lasted over 20 years and triple digit business growth..blah blah blah"
Inner voice: "Mother F-er!...My database was designed IN SPITE of your meddling and demanding to create 1,500 field tables. Shut the F up you egotistical bastard!"
I can't even count how many times I had to stop him from, for example, adding a 'ProductID' field to a Customer table.
Me: "Why did you add a product id field?"
VP: "How else will we know what product the customer wants to buy?"
Me: "You mean like a wish list? What if the customer wants more than one product?"
VP: "Oh, that’s easy, we'll create more fields when that happens. ProductID2. Microsoft made it really easy to add fields."
Me: "We already have a wish list table schema. Customer can have as many wish lists and as many products as they want."
VP: "I don't understand. All I want is a field for me to store the product I'm buying. I don't know why you make this so hard, its just one more field."
Now the VP is bragging all the success was due to his expertise?! Gaaaaahhhh!
I quelled my rage with ample quantities of donuts, juice, and chocolate milk.1 -
!rant
Neighbouring nursing student asked me to recommend her a good laptop. I take a look at her existing one and it's an ultra book in pretty much decent condition. I ask her what her issue with this one is and turns out there's not enough space on the hard disk (30 GB SSD). I advice her to consider upgrading instead of buying a new laptop and she agrees. She also asks me if I can fix the track par of the laptop as it's not working. I take a look at the system tray and then work my computer science magic (press the fn+F9 to activate the trackpad) and boom! It's a miracle and she's squealing with delight. I even ran a disk cleanup and wiped 3Gigs of space so that she could continue downloading the episode from Netflix.
I hear a lot of you people complain about being asked to do outrageous tech shit because you're a computer person but man, I sure love being the "tech guy". :D16 -
For every developer, who lives a nocturnal life.. the toughest job is baby sitting for a week..
At least for me.. Already missing the 3 AM idea cracks and coding..
Waking up at 6am is not my cup of tea and getting the kids ready for school.. I would rather prefer to work all night...
Another 3 days to go...
11 -
Proud moment this week. Have been making my first contribution to Open Source software. And a huge project too. I hope it will long continue :)2
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Websites: Let me slide in a little piece of data in your browser for your convenience so that you don't have to enter your password every time you come back. We even have a great name for it - Cookie!
EU - WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR COMPUTERS, HOW DARE YOU MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER WITHOUT LETTING US KNOW FIRST.
(also pay us €10000000 k bye)4 -
I'm the git expert at my work. This means every time someone has the slightest issue with git (or the git features in their ide), I get interrupted.
😡😡😡
Also I will say it is fascinating watching people who've used centralised version control all their lives struggle with distributed.
"Do you have my changes? I merged them into your branch..."
"You can commit and not push?!"9 -
Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.
So, kids, comment your code!14 -
Cheap computer, Broken AC, Fresh coat of off-white/grey paint, Torn chair with ciggy burns in it, non-adjustable cubicle desk that is wayyyy too high, people from unrelated departments popping by every 15mins to give me an update I didn’t ask for on their inconsequential lives or their opinion on whatever the fuck is the biggest trending hashtag right now.
May I never go back into the office again.
#thoughtsandprayers4 -
meme says python lives on land because it is above c-level but was developed in amsterdam which is below sea level
stop reposting lies.1 -
Found this on Twitter.
how people think AI will destroy the world:
going rogue and killing all humans
how AI will actually destroy the world:
strangling us with convenience, replacing our ability to function without it until our lives are entirely controlled by a wealthy few7 -
Am I the only one that lives in fear of friends/colleagues finding out I'm on devrant?
I've already deleted a few rants in which I described something that happened between me and someone else in fear that they might find out.14 -
When not logged in, twitter.com opens a welcome message and a login form. twitter.com/login opens a login page with a "remember me" check box so you can stay logged in.
Twitter don't seem to want visitors to their homepage to come back very easily.1 -
Since morning, I’ve used-
Facebook, Instagram,whats app
Google search, chrome, YouTube ,Gmail
iPhone, Apple Music, Apple podcasts
Netflix
Amazon video, kindle
Can’t believe how much our lives revolve around these giants! -
Have you worked on a project that you know will deliberately make people's lives miserable?
I know this is very broad, but you catch my drift.10 -
Is there's an "edit history" feature in DevRant. Some comments makes no sense after a post is edited.
I'm thinking of posting "Arch Linux and Firefox for the win. Who's with me?"
Then, when I have some comments, I'll switch it to "Windows 8 and IE for the win. Who's with me?"
That could ruin a lot of lives.5 -
DevRanter: *shares some inconvinience at work*
Other Ranters: Dude, Quit your job. Sell your house. Get a divorce ASAP. Give your kids up. Fly to another country. Disappear from everybody's lives. Start a new life. Change your identity.
#lol5 -
Anyone else sometimes feel that coding, programming call it what you want. Has taken over their lives and fucked it up!!!
Some times wish I never started this shit. But can't stop, it's like an addiction.7 -
Tbh my current job is as close to perfect as I can imagine ever existing. The best and smartest engineers I've ever met (better than Google, better than anywhere), all working on something we think is really really important (autonomous cars), and solving hard problems every day (some of which no one else has ever solved before).
Only downside is an internal sense that when I'm not working I'm delaying a product that will save people's lives.4 -
Who here sends their releases through email 🤢🤢, because I do and because it is a closed off system, and because the company we are contracted for lives in 2008. Ah legacy systems....4
-
Just been hired as a mid level developer for an IoT company. With considerable benefits and pay increase!
YES!! -
They brought the artist Salvador Dalí back to "life" with DeepFake for an exhibition. And it's nothing short of amazing. This is why want to work in technology. Bringing a smile and amazement to people. ☺️
What do you think of it and what do you think will we see in the future?
check it out
Behind the Scenes: Dali Lives
https://youtu.be/BIDaxl4xqJ4
6 -
Tl;dr;
Yet another reason, why I love the Internet and it's ability to remove remove borders that should not exist in the first place.
Around seven hours ago, I met a stranger while playing rocket league. Just now I said goodbye to a friend, with whom I talked about our lives, our opinions on certain matters and our cultures.
Just within seven hour I made a friend with whom I could talk honestly about things I could probably not even talk about with my parents.2 -
There is something so comfy about Java that I never get from other languages.
I don't know why but I genuinely enjoy writing 200 lines of boilerplate code. Maybe it makes me feel I am in control and not some syntactic magic like in Python or Javascript.
People keep ranting on java, yet it lives on.2 -
C++ tough me that having 2 or 3 friends is ok in some situations, but its best to avoid them when possible.
Also, you cannot have friends outside of class.4 -
If someone asks you something that's easily google-able, they are probably just trying to break the ice with you.
Been reading a few books this year on people skills. We write code to make the lives of people better. To do that we need to understand and emphasise with each other -
MOCHA YOU FUCKING BITCH, THERE IS A DONE() CALLBACK BEING CALLED IN THIS TEST, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? I WILL RAPE YOUR FUCKING SOURCE CODE. But really mocha test, why u no work so we can both move on with our lives 😣😦😞7
-
Yeah these fucking assholes lost a 300 pound gaming chair at my local depot for 3 weeks where I eventually got a refund from Amazon. I ordered a USB desk fan for the heat off ebay, yeah these fucking cunts delivered it to my workplace at 9pm.
Guess who is building my companies new ecommerce platform, where I am currently integrating the shipping options. Fuck off Yodel.7 -
Best part about being a dev...
Satisfaction that people are using you inventions/products to better their lives.
I know it sounds cliché, but software dev is a lot like art.
Guessing, Da Vinci must have felt the same way in the Renaissance.
2 -
Anyone who says/thinks software development is just piece of cake and these IT guys have magic wands should be quarantined for the rest of their lives. :-/6
-
Asking seriously: don't all those social justice warriors on Twitter have something to do with their lives other than tweeting/complaining/attacking someone/... all the time?
I wake up for 16 hours everyday and it's not enough to finish my tasks that I want to extend the day past 24 hours. That's excluding two hours or so wasted reading technical posts on Reddit or Twitter but they have to ruin this time with their whining.40 -
Are you the nocturnal developer who lives on red bull and chips or the luxury developer who works in a beautiful light office and is a vegetarian?11
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Most useless feature?
Any this business seems to think is the next great way to make their lives easier - by adding 500 more steps into an already complex series of cowboy processes.
I love and hate my job some days 🤦♂️1 -
@jenochi this is for you
Due to a recent suggestion by the above-mentioned @jenochi, I though that this deserved to be a rant.
Dropping support for IE will once and for all ease web developers lives and it has got to start somewhere. Who's with us!?7 -
Sometime we forget who we really are.
We aren't dumb guys with no future and it's time to remember this to yourself.
We're losing time in our lives, let's just use it as we think is better to.4 -
It's Don't-Kill-Your-Coworkers Monday! Vent here while looking at this cute-ass picture instead of ending lives.
4 -
There is an nerdy socially retarded IT head. He asked me to look into a project after the programmers left the company. Basically he gave me a list of modification with one particular screenshot of Calendar( seems like a JQuery plugin) and asked me to develop it.. I asked him to give me the link from where he got the Calendar... No fucking response in Skype.
So after a month he asked me to show the project, I showed him with the Calendar similar to picture and no functionality. He said it was CRAP. I asked him to give me proper documentation as what he expects and what he wants.
BUT FUCK NO. HE SAYS, "ARE YOU A JUNIOR CODER? DO IT WITHIN A WEEK OR WE ARE DONE. "
And I am here keeping myself in control not to punch him. he lives nearby my house wondering if he lives alone 😂4 -
WOOH!!!!! AFTER 3-4MONTHS, I HAVE REGAINED **INBOX ZERO**
...AND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME!
though my reading list is still just as large, but now I don't know what I've missed.... unless I really want to.... and therefore no longer have the desire to read everything 😀
Probably also need to add a time decay and weighting algorithm... just like devRant's 😉
5 -
Religion is ruined by people.
God's bugs are our mistakes, the platypi, and turtle penises.
Nature is so much better without us, I enjoy programming but the users are polluting, wasteful, selfish useless beings removing resources from the Earth.
Sometimes I want to become a hacker and ruin rich people's lives.10 -
Next time someone told you to be more sociable, or not to be so introvert, just kindly remind them that there would be probably some 1M less dead bodies out there today, only if in the past six months more people could simply stay in their whatever nasty place they dwell and overcome their lust to gather to whatever stupid end.
Be an introvert, save lives.8 -
Today I spilt a glass of water onto my palm. As I was shaking the hand of a senior executive. He looked at me in disgust as our hands squelched together.
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On the positive note, I just installed win 10 on my PC, so I can finally play some MMO with my gf with more than 30 seconds per frame. Needless to say, my first installs were Msys2 and gvim :)
PS, any suggestions on a free casual MMO we could play together? I was thinking about TERA, but not set on anything yet.17 -
The traits that compile to form a programmer
-Not good at naming things
-People started asking for you to fix electronics regardless of what you tell them You’re actually studying/good at
-Procrastination through the roof
-Lives off of Coffee, POP, Energy drinks, or what ever source of caffeine.13 -
*confession*
I'm one of *those* developers that sold their soul to Microsoft technology stack early in their career, and then bought in into even more narrow specialization, SharePoint dev (Could easily have been Dynamics or similar) ...
...And almost don't regret it. The only concern is becoming obsolete in time, but I suppose life of a developer is always learning, so all should be fine.
Major kudos to all non-MS developers, I enjoy reading about your lives here.5 -
A parallel universe simulator which will show us what our lives could look like in other universes.5
-
Build something that helps anyone on their daily lives. Both personally and professionally. I wanna help them users.
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Things fuck up when people start playing politics.
Why can't people just work peacefully.
Fucking egoistic jerks. I'd burn such people, if I can.
At this point, I'd honestly take the Facebook offer when I get selected there.
This motherfucking team is full of assholes trying to make our lives hell.44 -
Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head4 -
Publishing stuff and receiving feedback and improvement ideas is sush a great feeling. A guy opend an issue today asking for a feature to be implemented and he was very polite. Thanking me for my work.
This is way better than money. Money can't buy that feeling. People like this guy is the reason open source stuff lives. -
Hmm. This code needs refactoring.
*recodes on Local and uploads*
Works on my branch.
*git push origin master and merge*
Works on Dev.
*deploy to Test*
Works on Test.
*deploy to Live*
Doesn't work.
*compares Live to Test, Dev, and Local*
No f$@%^%%$# difference!?!!
*quits development and lives under a bridge*5 -
Programming is getting harder and harder instead of making our lives easier. Is it really supposed to be like this?11
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When will Dev and Ops lay down their arms and embrace as brothers? This war has destroyed too many lives already.3
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Easy. I've learn Bash, Python and Java just by constantly getting assigned to projects that require those languages. Also tiny bit of Perl, but I don't want to talk about this.
I was hired as a C++ developer BTW and never had contact with those languages. -
I needed to update this function to add some more functionality. And this is what i did.( I did added more functionality though)
Will I be fired?
5 -
Dear Colleagues. Stop saying iOS (i-oohs). It's (i-oh-es). You don't call it fucking windows ooohs. You sound like fucking idiots to our clients1
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Gotta love it when you try out a different VS Code extension for a specific language and then on each autoformat, more and more spaces get inserted.
IT LIVES!3 -
*1 hr after meeting*
*boss calls*
Boss: how are you doing with the task we talked about on the meeting?
Me: Oh I'm doing that other thing we talked about. I'll finish both in about an hour.
Boss: great!
... then starts going on about their lives. I wanted to be nice to them, so I paid attention to what's going on in their lives while I program menial tasks.
*1 hour later*
Boss: so have you finished? It's been an hour.
I would've finished, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN DISTRACTING ME THE WHOLE TIME8 -
i like getting drunk and shitting on all the overly smug idiots on hackernews. sure, they may earn 100x what i do, but it's painfully clear most of them are juniors and have never owned or operated on a large production tech stack in their lives
OOHHHH WOWWWW SVELTE!!!! LOOK!!! WOWWWW!! OMG VUEEEEEEE
its the same over and over again until we all die
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡11 -
To all the people who complain about writing a delete or update query. Not to talk you down, but seriously. STOP WRITING RAW QUERIES AND USE AN ORM!9
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Entering the computer lab for the first time in my life when I was in class 3. Each computer was assigned to 3 children (I know). We saw and played perhaps the most awesome game ever made;
Will never forget those 30 minutes of my life. (although I lost all my lives on the very first level)
3 -
it's kinda telling of human nature that we had this big empty space on our fancy bright box and decided "huh i could be looking at something nice instead" and put on wallpapers there. i read recently how color is less prevalent now more than ever in our lives, so maybe wallpapers and pc customization are a way for us to hold onto some of that21
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You guys believe in crypto currency in a near future to play a major role in our lives? Which one(s) you have?12
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I get so irritated when i see people pirate things, i get it, they want it yeah but the fact that someone gets pissed off because i use opensource software, try collaborate and better the software and support by donating some projects. Then they try and convert me to their "copy and paste" mantra. Fuck no.
If only they knew the hours and time given up from their lives, taken away from famillies and social lives developers spend trying to make apps that alfeady makes everyones lives simpler but they dont see that, they are so use to having things given to them they wont realise hoe important it is until it was taken away.
Support the developers because if it was the other way around. Regardless if you wanted it or not, you would like support. We do do this because we love it and with everyones help, we can progress forward together.
I really dont care that i look like as ass to the guy now, i really dont care what takes from it but just venting i guess..1 -
welcome to devRantRant, where we rant about the types of rants we don't like rather than just ranting about our own lives and experiences
who cares if you dont like a rant? do you REALLY think anyone's gonna care if you rant about not liking it?6 -
Ahem id like two superpowers please ,
Then first one would be to telepathically nerf down parasitic ideas instantly, I could actually be the next superman if I had this.. Could save a lot of lives in the developer realm.
The second one is the power to instantly fix any kernel / driver / boot problem and make everything compatible with Linux2 -
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of dev
I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left
‘Cause I've been codin' and proper formattin' so long that
even my momma thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never del'd a row that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you codin' and what you pastin'
Or you and your homies might be lined in Q
I really hate to trip, but I gotta loc
As they croak, I see myself in the compiler smoke
Fool,
I'm the kinda D that little homies wanna be like
On my keys middle row, typin' prayers on stackoverflow
Keep spending most our lives
Livin' in a dev's paradise
Been spending most their lives
Livin' in a dev's paradise1 -
Why do anything? We all live on a floating rock. There is no meaning. To define meaning is our lives, objective or subjective, is functionally absurd. We are all here, chasing fleeting moments of joy and pretending like things matter. We are born and then have sex and do the dishes and scroll through our feed endlessly until our inevitable deaths. Nothing matters. Post on DevRant. Or don’t.8
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I have a question of morality .. we are devs so it may start becoming more important then ever..
If to save the world... Would you do something that would first effect millions or 10 of millions of lives negatively, possibly quite seriously so, as in death or starvation etc
Similar to the do you pull the switch and kill one man or do you let the train kill 5 but on a world scale I suppose.14 -
So, after having my mental breakdown with the 500k LoC Zend Frameshit PHFuck 5.5 with 0 test project, for a whole year; and after moving to a better job, I now inherited a React/Node/GraphQL project with a shitty architecture. It's so shit technical debt can almost be payed with actual cash... or flesh, ass-for-arch.
However, line test coverage is over 90%, so I guess it is an improvement.1 -
PEZ is the best thing in the world ever
PEZ is the best
PEZ is my favourite
PEZ is even better than thick thighs
they save lives, they will be my demise
17 -
I often don't see devs sad about the lack of sex in their lives.
Is it because we get fucked in the ass by management every now and then, to make up for it?4 -
I think what we need is a bot that scrapes user information from Facebook. That way we could show people that not only Facebook, but everyone can earn a lot of info about someone.
All these people starting to hate and blame Facebook for it's issues...
And no one realizes that it could be their fault.
If everyone shares so much info about their lives, it's very presumably, that Facebook knows a lot about you.1 -
Just ordered a 15 inch Mac book pro (2017) as my main devlopment machine.
I never could work on Windows machine, so my choices were limited. Hope MBP lives up to the hype. 😅6 -
you know I've watched a lot of people waste their lives.
all the warm and fuzzy sentimentality I grew up to gone out the window, the subject of ownership and personal possession disrespected to the point that robot people just fucked their only chances of being anything but machines.
its fun.
just like when you people duplicate my past posts on here.11 -
Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.
Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅4 -
No matter if you understand all the medical terms, you need to read this. It is amazing.
http://epmonthly.com/article/... -
When you get on devRant expecting to make yourself feel better with others' shittier lives as devs and instead see people posting jokes and happy stuff.1
-
Sadly I just can imagine more development directed to increase consumer behavior (ads, social) and less to actually improve people's lives.
Shouldn't software development have an identity other than the enterprise? We are probably the better communicated professional community there is. Shouldn't we rise? ✊2 -
a federated AWS-like service where people share their resources, lives 100% on crypto and is easy to use and join.9
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Who knew taxes were supposed to be temporary, until they became mundane and permanent part of lives.
https://history.com/news/...9 -
Not dev related but got offered to work at the Champions league final.
The tickets sold out within ten minutes and there's me making money!3 -
Charles Gussman was a writer and TV announcer who wrote the pilot episode of Days of Our Lives, among other shows. As he became ill, he said he wanted his last words to be memorable. When his daughter reminded him of this, he gently removed his oxygen mask and whispered: “And now for a final word from our sponsor—.”
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Imagine there was an option to split your consciousness into two perfect copies. The one is stuck forever in the office working and making money for you, the second one lives its live without ever needing to work, it just receives the money in the bank account.
You are the second one.
Would you accept?16 -
Given the following:
1) how much we (as a species) relly on google search (or alternatives) to do most of our usual jobs
2) the rate and aggresivity of advertsing that keeps creeping into our lives
I predict that in the following years self-curated and group maintained indexes of search results and popular technical pages will become more and more popular
Something like torrent trackers but specifically for StackOverflow/Reddit-like threads and questions -
My laptop is having some power issues and it often turns off randomly.
Last time, it happened while running some git stuff and since git didn't finish properly, the whole git directory fucked up: I could not do anything with git anymore.
Later I find this dude: https://stackoverflow.com/a/...
If you're in here, Nathan VanHoudnos, just know that you save more lives than any politician1 -
There must be a simple, reliable, compatible, battery efficient way to poll an api every ten minutes and send user a notification, right?
AlarmManager : Ok. But who cares about battery anyways?
Google cloud messaging : Ok, you can have battery efficiency. But who lives without Google anyways?
JobScheduler : Ok, but you need Lollipop. Which Android phone doesn't get updates? Oh wait, shit.6 -
My Company got a new Test lead today. She looks stern. Wonder if she is gonna make our lives hard as devs just like the other testers we have.
Shiiit...2 -
Having a look at electron again after giving up on it months ago.
I must say, the documentation has improved a lot since then, and it looks---dare I say---intuitive to use?
The electron api demos app is surely some help, but I'm not really all that sure how much it lives up to its name. It doesn't really demonstrate anything, and it doesn't cover the whole api, just small chunks of it.
Loving the event system though!12 -
Spiders; the only web developers that love finding bugs.
Thinking of creating something using the "spider" concept, for developers and software engineers. Maybe it'll replace GitHub in our lives, maybe.
And yes, I'm a bit drunk.1 -
Quick Java question.
Does spending £200 on Oracle certification raise your job market value?
Or is it just a pointless money maker for Oracle.3 -
I’m still waiting for Agile to just go away, it is the reason devs burn out and have miserable working lives. I started my career just before it got a hold and I remember those days being great - going to work was actually my hobby.
The worst places I’ve worked had strict Agile practices, the best has had the most loose.
Just go away already, Agile! You make so many devs lives miserable.10 -
-Friends: *having the time of their lives*
-Me:*hiding with a semicolon ever since I started coding*
~🍓
*When someone asks me about my college major and how it looks like *
-
Semi-colons(;), ruining lives, relationships and careers since 1995.
Because, what else could make you want to hit your boss with a keyboard?2 -
I've just found a PHP dev job offer which claims literally:
– Our company philosophy: "Every person is a world unto himself." describes our daily work methodology.
And I think they say it as a positive thing LOOOOOOOL -
-Friends: *having the time of their lives*
-Me:*hiding with a semicolon ever since I started coding*
~🍓 -
Everytime I am in some shopping centre and google maps asks me to add a photo of it because these photos are popular a thought crosses my mind: don't people have anything better to do with their lives!? For fuck's sake.
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Given that we live in an era where millions of human lives are dependent on software, isn’t it high time that this industry, including it’s professionals and the products we create, are regulated like other industries where human lives are at stake?10
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Why would you say that your website should support IE?? Whyyy?? Who uses that except for downloading Chrome? You just make our lives miserable with that :(7
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Please format issues and PRs correctly. As an open source maintainer it's already hard enough to respond to all of your demands.
But when you make an issue with the title of "error in app.js" with NO DESCRIPTION, and then think you're entitled to ME FIXING IT?!?
Please know that we do this for (mostly) free, and try to make our lives easier by giving us a detailed description of what is going on.
Thanks. -
The DataEase system that tracks escheated funds I wrote in the last millennium that lives today! The entire system can fit on a 3.5” diskette 😀 Does anyone remember DataEase? Popular dbms eons ago. Fun fact - Microsoft wanted to buy them to be Microsoft Access but they turned down the offer. 😫
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debugger; // JavaScript
It's a statement not a function, but it can save lives when console.log debugging fails. -
This... I always swore that this would be a sign of the apocalypse. Mainly, I'm just curious how the other half lives.
4 -
I can make sales people's lives easier or harder based on how I prioritise tasks... They learn to use manners when they realise my power!
-
Freeze time with the computer I am sat on.
So when somebody says something can be done in an hour, they're usually correct -
You know while people debated race gender immigration abortion social welfare marijuana etc etc and riotes ruined lives and made people dead and or unemployed and homeless we could have focused on what mattered and reduced so much suffering in this country by embracing a few ideas that are somewhat new and eradicate everything from destitution and suspended momentum but also things like excuses for varying forms of physical and psychological child abuse
It sickens me7 -
It is better to write almost all of the logic used in the code as comments/documentation.
Trust me.
It is a good thing. It increases Code readability.
Nobody is going to copy your logic and get hired in a high paying job or get promoted for that reason. People will come to know about your wit and will appreciate you instead.2 -
Is there an acceptable way to deal with API secrets in an Android app that can cure the anxiety that is slowly taking over me during the past few hours that I am researching about it? Thnx.
p.s. I am not sure how people that work in security can go on with their lives and not have suicidal tendencies10 -
Maybe I am beyond sanity or I'm ignoring myself as a masochist, but I find dividing huge-ass React DOM lines into multiple smaller components then reconnect everything extremely satisfying.
It's like, cutting a human body into small pieces, and tidy the parts up into a small compartments, BUT still connect the bones, muscles and nevers so that somehow, the dude still lives.
You know what, I'm going for the "beyond sanity" thing.
But worth it.6 -
Windows Phone might be well dead, but their memory still lives in Bing Rewards! 🤣
(Info: French version of tile to promote the MSN News app - I'm using it already, so everyone's happy 😉)
4 -
Does anyone else here think the regulating and centralising of crypto currencies and tokens worrying?
It is slowly being bent to the will of the higher ups just like traditional fiat and they’re burying its fundamental altruistic design concept without providing and means for it to be assimilated into benefiting the daily lives of the masses an especially the unbanked.5 -
So apparently there's a trend in non-educational games teaching kids how to handle real life crisis.
Last week I witnessed a 14 yo girl handling an anxiety attack of a grown ass person and she learned that from Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey - https://devrant.com/rants/6229469/...
Now I hear 12 years ago there was a boy who saved his sister from a moose attack by... taunting - a skill he learned from World of Warcraft: https://nextnature.net/story/2010/...
Anyone has more stories like this?8 -
I got into dev during the AOL 2.5 days where everyone was creating proggies and punters. I was obsessed with the AOL API designed for Visual Basic (VB4 at the time).
So essentially I got into dev to break shit and make peoples lives miserable. Good times.2 -
It'd be pretty cool to do well enough in my career that I can buy my dad a garage and we can fuck about the rest of our lives doing up cars.
Also, if I could make some significant contribution to some OSS, that would be great. -
Create new possibilities in the digital world, moving "everything" into the digital world, creating new solutions as a service. A more connected world. Find a problem even though it is small and make it as a service, changing lives for the better.
-
The black lives matter poster from USSR. It says “First day in ku klux school”, that’s the play on “first day of school” Russian idiom “первый раз в первый класс”. In Russian it’s a rhyme.
11 -
Never disturb a programmer in heat !
.
.
.
.
.
[RIP to all the lives lost in Uri and NYC.
this planet has no place for terrorism.]
1 -
I finally understand it. Its all about adaptability. The body and the subconsciouses mind is in a continuous adaptation to the environment it lives in. That explains why we always strive for new, better and cooler things, why we never are satisfied with what we have.
Be happy in the current position you are in, be grateful for simply living. It sounds like I'm on drugs or something, but we take such things for granted, appreciate and embrace what you have.2 -
A bot that lives on your IM accounts and automatically replies "please add postcode" to any incoming message that looks like an address but doesn't have one.5
-
Just burning right through the years of our lives aren’t we ? Same bitch
Same studies
Same unfinished work
Same jack assess
Same bots
I wish people hadn’t gone out of their way to make me feel they were full of shit at points
Liars lying requires some real annoying thoughts to determine if they’re lying 100% of the time or just deceiving because they know you think that6 -
I find myself thinking that lack of boredom related to
Unfulfilled relationship quality is what is killing the world
We require interaction as humans to spawn variance in our lives4 -
Damn.. I'm filling in a web form on my mobile, and when I got to 'phone' field I tried to submit this3
-
I read something fascinating today that said -
The reason why people's lives flash before their eyes in a certain-death or near-death situation is because the brain is frantically going through all its memories trying to find a tactic that has the best shot of survival.
Fascinating stuff.6 -
When I work extra hours on weekends, so I can finally take a break from Microsoft Word and write some code for a change. It's going on for a second week now, if not longer 😢
-
Ugh sometimes I think they’re just training monsters to be house pets and decent people to be miserable
“What do you seek to accomplish with this platform”
Well to be honest I thought I’d write a series of in-depth tutorials about how to pull a stick which is jammed up the rectum so far the tip is protruding from ones mouth in the form of the shit covered bile they spew forth, out of said rectum
So they can live happier lives and be less nasty2 -
Remember way back when when most people lived their lives and the country had not finished being categorized idiotically, supposedly it is now anyway, and people had conversations? And new things happened? And people like me had no clue what the trashy retards around them were doing ? So much happier.
As in there were different stresses and worries
Then there was that brief time things were organized as they should be and traffic was light and people were healthier?
Didn't hear so much obnoxious coughing then1 -
Phoenix Jones lived in Seattle and was active with his female superhero partner. SortOfTested also lives there.
She was a superhero. SortOfTested is also kind of devrant superhero.
They broke up and she vanished from the net. SortOfTested? Or should we call her...
Purple Reign?7 -
They can have the comp once a new one is purchased
Remember there was a decent paying job these people stole. And he took the comp that was purchased. So the same or better and they can make their own lives and photos5 -
'Betas' on amazon prime (original) is pretty damn good, easy watch and funny as hell
It's about a group of developers who create a product and try to find investors while balancing their crazy lives in Silicon Valley, I love it -
Hello all, recently I have been doing alot of front end work in web forms and lead generation. I would love to learn more about marketing and how it can be applied as a dev.
Does anyone recommend any good books atall?
Thanks!2 -
I really am uncertain wtf they expected of people as a ticket to a time where everything continues and our lives are on track because other than getting laid alot there was an obvious hiatus from living an affluent lifestyle excepting where I stayed and who I had sex with heh
Seems like they always invent excuses to roll everything back -
Makes me happy to see people in thick glasses and whores in general that stole from my age group trapped in the lives they stole.
Oh there should now be a manager at the one place I work who used to work in the job or they can just send this person overseas -
I got this huge onboarding bonus with Airbnb. I wrote life changing artistic code that affects the lives of millions. Then I met this incredible hot chick and bought a house in Malibu.
Not
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