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If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"10 -
I'm the only programmer for my employer. Today I finished a GUI and engine to let our managers easily post annoucments to our TVs.
Nothing crazy; PHP login screen, some forms, small database, and the app to run on the TVs.
When I told my manager it was up and running she asks "Since you can build that, can you start working on a tool to run voice analytics off of our agents phone calls?".
Sure.. I'll get right on that.. Follow up with me in 4 years.8 -
Get rid of required minimal lines of code for project assignments.
I
Will
Slap
The
Fucker
Who
Codes
Like
This
As
Many
Times
Per
Fucked
Up
Line11 -
I do tech support for our platform for real estate agents. Today I got a call from a user saying she can't find her files.
Me: "are you logged into the platform?"
Her: "Yes, but I hate this whole technology thing. Why is it so complicated and unintuitive"
Me: "which part exactly, we welcome feedback"
Her: "when I download my pictures from your site, I don't see them on the desktop..."
Me: "...ummm... have you checked your 'downloads' folder?"
After 5 minutes of explaining how to get to it...
Her: "you see, this is exactly what I mean, why does it have to be so unintuitive... your web site is poorly designed"
😑🔫
Should I just delete her "FREE" account?11 -
Caller: My client looking for experienced developer in Technology X,Y and Z are you open for new position?
Me: But I don't know this X and Y, I only use Z!
Caller: Please add them to your CV and send it to me so I can pass it to the client...
Me: But I don't know it!
Caller: Neither me nor the client know it also, please update the CV...
Me: How many years of experience should I add then?
Caller: 3 years will be OK!
Me: §¢“°©™|-=]%5 -
One of the students in my department was smart and driven, but also really awkward. I had known him perhaps better than most other students, and had gleaned that he was depressed and had low self esteem.
On a few occasions he tied a noose out of an ethernet cable hanging from the ceiling and played "Pumped Up Kicks" when asked to choose a song at a party. Really strange stuff. If we had been betting on who would turn out a school shooter, I would've put my money on him.
Anyway, he graduated last year and this year I found out federal agents raided his home because he was building pipe bombs and intended to kill a bunch of people and himself. He's now doing at least 10 years in prison.4 -
What's worse than someone pointing their dirty finger on your laptop/desktop screen?
Someone pointing their opened/exposed ballpoint pen on your laptop/desktop screen.9 -
A friend sent me this in the morning:
“By convention, type names such as String or Int (or Dog or Cat) start with a capital letter; variable names start with a small letter. Do not violate this convention. If you do, your code might still compile and run just fine, but I will personally send agents to your house to remove your kneecaps in the dead of night.”
Excerpt From: Matt Neuburg. “iOS 10 Programming Fundamentals with Swift.” iBooks.1 -
Privacy.
I have an Amazon Echo.
I've enabled Hey, Siri.
I've given Google the OK.
I don't tape my web cam.
And I find it highly amusing that someone has potentially seen my fat, hairy ass strut naked about my home office while singing "What's up" at the top of my lungs. Perhaps multiple times.
Should I feel bad? That I may have cost the American taxpayer money in the therapy required to rehabilitate those FBI or NSA agents that have witnessed me in my full glory?13 -
Sometimes I have really loose the will to live and find myself face palming multiple times.
I added live chat software a web frontend for a client. Very easy job that consisted of pasting in some embed code. The actual software is very good and has native ios/andriod apps - something specifically requested.
I got a call from my client about an hour ago, saying there is a "serious issue with the live chat".
My client stated the live chat won't work when his staff go home. He asked me what my solution to this was.
Saying "wtf" many times to myself I directed him to a settings within the chat software i.e. an "away mode" where an email is sent when no chat agents are available.
This apparently wasn't good enough and said I hadn't followed his brief of "adding life chat software to the website", which I had.
After a lengthy discussion I found the root of his frustration. He'd signed a contract with a client of his own, stating there would be 24/7 support via live chat on the website.
Obviously there a huge difference between adding a chat widget to a website and committing to having it manned 24/7 :)
After a further 10 minutes of trying push the blame on myself, the client insisted of having the chat software "appear" as someone was always online, even when they are not (people need to sleep ya know!).
Bu design, the chat software requires at least one agent be logged in before the chat status changes to "online" - why wouldn't it.
After a little while I was seriously wondering why I'm involved in this conversation. I jokingly stated: "Well you could always install Andriod/iOS app on your phone, login and permanently leave it running in background. You'd get lots of notifications, but the site would say the live is always online".
The latter was something I said in jest. To my surprise the client said he'd do that on his own phone going forwards. He actually thanked me for my "resourcefulness", lol.
I'm looking at the same dashboard now and there are 407 pending chat requests - his phone must literally be blowing up notifications :)
5 -
#4 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
Not a direct co-worker, during a fire drill, a call center manger told all the agents to ignore the alarm and keep working.1 -
So what's preventing me from launching my startup/service/platform to the public? Not ready to deal with users like Nancy.
2 -
I thought of a funnier story about recruiters, one called my desk a few weeks ago and I politely declined the offer before hanging up.
The same recruiter then proceeded to call the person sitting directly opposite me and subsequently told them that I had recommended them for a position (I categorically did no such thing). I hope they were wearing Brown pants that day because I proceeded to phone up their company and spent the next 20 minutes detailing how unprofessional it is to blatantly lie to people and expressly told them that if I ever found out they were using my name in this way again I would Sue them for libel.
Needless to say most of their agents have left my professional network on LinkedIn.
Tl;Dr I won2 -
Microsoft admits they were hacked. Explains how it worked and what happened. No big deal. companies get hacked. That's life.
Indirectly admits that all of their customer support agents have access to your inbox.
Cool. Deleting my Outlook email. Thanks guys.9 -
Because I’m a fucking cowboy and a charlatan, and because I hate sleep and despise feeling refreshed and happy, I’m working pretty much full time as a contractor (I’m the full stack dev. I do everything) on a (well funded) startup alongside my day job.
Tonight I had to make some quick (lol “quick”) changes to a core piece of the platform.
Now before continuing please refer back to the first line of this rant.
So instead of writing new functionality, I copied and pasted another section.
I renamed all references of “new_order” to, cleverly “new_order2”.
I know.
I deploy to production...
My phone starts blowing up. In short, everything is fucked.
I’m going over the query, checking the production database. Why is this manifesting like this? It all looks correct.
2 HOURS of broken sales, pissed off customers, pissed off service agents and I see that there was still one reference of “new_order” that should have been “new_order2”.
I am a piece of shit.4 -
It was about my 30th progress meeting with the clients on a website I was working on for them. At that point, I knew what was gonna happen. Change bloody requests.
Before attending that meeting I thought, "I'll change them on the fly as they comment for more ridiculous changes" as I drank 4 cans of RedBull. At the meeting I was having my 5th and the clients was firing all sorts of changes and complaints in the air and I whack them all with my lightning fast fingers can go.
I didn't know I could go that fast, like I was flying. Clients were impressed. Boss was worried that I don't look so... Normal. In fact, I jitter every mid sentence.
Told him to tell them to email changes/complaints instead of bringing it to this meeting. A complete waste of my Red Bulls.2 -
Me trying to generate a new ssh key after a long while
ssh keygen
ssh key-gen
*DuckDuckGo how to*
Oh!
ssh-keygen5 -
I had a few girlfriends in the past and now am married for 4 years and can't remember any gfs before the married life. Ever had a pre-identity crisis?
My mind: "WHO THE F&*! WAS I? WHAT DID I DO? ITS LIKE TOTAL RECON AND AMNESIA ALTOGETHER!!"
5 -
I'm currently working in call center. Making them a management system for agents. I'm the only developer there. No one asks about the progress even the owner doesn't know a thing about softwares. This gives me a freedom to do work when I want and how fast I want. But because of this I don't care anymore about the little things. and I have adopted some bad programming habits during my stay. Should I quit or what?6
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TIL I can run Linux commands in Powershell. I don't know what I did. I didn't realize that I was in Powershell instead of WSL. But only to a few commands though. Can't run uname, free, top or other system like commands so far. Must be part of some Windows 10 update that I missed.
8 -
Just arrived in Sydney 2 days ago and reported for work yesterday. I looked at my laptop's clock and it said its 4:40pm. Cool! Another 20 min and I'm off.
I started fiddling around with my machine settings and noticed my Location setting is off. I switched it on. My time is updated to 2:43pm.
MOTHERF****!!!1 -
Serverless is like our Hoverboard. It's not "no server" and its not "a board that hovers".
Whoever comes up with these names deserves a medal for trolling the tech world.5 -
Ever had that frustrating moment that the customer overreacts a small issue into a big issue? Just happened to me today.
Client: "Hey can you check why we are not getting any software update/patches to our firewall?"
Me: "OK. Lemme check"
** Checking **
Me: "I found that its not getting the latest updates because the license file registered has a product serial # mismatch with their support site. You can see it clearly here..."
Client: "THAT'S TERRIBLE!! QUICK!! MAKE IT A PRIORITY 1 ISSUE AND HAVE IT RESOLVE ASAP!!!"
Me: *Facepalm*1 -
Companies! For the love of your peoples sanity give the developers of all ages worthwhile machines. If you send us to clients to develop iOS apps, send macs also 😤4
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Received a complaint that the year dropdown list isn't far enough (ends at 2022). They wanted it to go all the way to 2027. My script handles this by getting the current year then add 5 to it and it generates the values in the dropdown list. All I had to do was change from '5' to '10' in the config puppet files. Contractually, any source code changes needs to be documented and informed to the client. I followed suit, documenting how I am going to make the change. This is new as it involves using git to commit the changes and pull it in the server that talks to the git server. This shouldn't take more than a minute to fix.
Submitted and wanted to finish this today. Client decided to wait til next week to complete the code change to fix the complaint. A work that can be done in a minute is now dragged to a week. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU -
It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.
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Ice King. Lonely, weird, has a penguin for a debugger and doesn't do as he commands... Yup, that's a Linux guy alright.
2 -
Me: I hate Windows/PHP/Gradle builds/etc
Other devRanters: Did we just became friends?
Me: friends is undefined. Please go to StackOverflow for undefined error.
*I'm still socially awkward* -
Just met a startup that has a programmer intern but no IT supervisor. I felt so sorry for her that I decided to show her a few cool tools that she can use in her work.
She was still using Xampp, Google Chrome, command prompt and paper trails (for all of the passwords she had to manage to different accounts)
Shown her how to use Docker, Git Bash and WSL, FireFox Developer Edition, VS Code (if she decides to not use that unregistered Sublime Text editor) and LastPass (personal preference).
Best of luck!2 -
Heard a job position opened through a friend. Passed him my CV since we don't know his email (lol how?)
Got called for an interview + technical test. Came and they were expecting my CV. They somehow misplaced my CV (lol again how?)
Told the interviewers that I made a couple of apps for fun and informative. Tested me by doing a value switch between 2 variables without introducing a third variable. Done and dusted.
A month later, the company that interviewed me disappeared.
That's my definition of the worst interview rejection. Company pulled a Houdini without telling all of their candidates that we're rejected.14 -
Do you wear a wristwatch? For style or confidence? I have a problem wearing one. It gets in the way as I type on my keyboard. Or am I wearing it wrong?24
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Most intense day for me was at the very start of my career. Internship... went with product manager to client's office while PM installed new test version of our product for on-site integration testing. Shortly after deploy, client manager came over to ask why production had gone down...
Turns out that manually typing DB name as part of deployment script is not, erm, risk free. PM entered production DB name and took out a very busy call centre for a few hours. Agents in tears, customers raging on phones, etc! After we restored and got everything back up and running, he reached me the keyboard and said "You're doing it this time."
My attempt was problem free, thankfully. Earned many brownie points that day.1 -
If you're a reasonably established dev and looking for a new role, never.. EVER make your CV public on a job board! I put it up for one day, ONE DAY and yesterday I had 42 phone calls, 15 voice messages and about 25 emails. How is anyone supposed to choose a meaningful, suited opportunity in all that! Information overload! And then trying to sort out times for someone you are interested in to phone you and picking up the phone at that time to accidental answer the phone to someone else (a new agent who has some excellent job roles for you!). Fuck this. Immediately took it down and hoping to look and apply to some myself that I like the look of. Don't do it man, unless you're a junior and it can be quite humbling how agency led it is, look for the right job yourself and apply individually! I have been on edge the last few days, especially where I haven't told my current place I am looking yet!3
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!dev !rant
Personal life update:
Like I said a few rants ago, I got a job in a call center for a national Japanese food chain. I am getting a pretty good salary for a teenager, and I am being paid the same amount as the other call center agents.
What I didn’t tell you is that I am doing a pre-university SAT, and it’s pretty much destroying me. I regret choosing to do it.
About AltRant: currently on short hiatus, though I swear to god that I will DEFINITELY upload it to TestFlight so you can get a taste of the app. All I ask is patience. I think I will wait until iOS 15 is out because the latest betas created a massive issue in a few parts of the app. All of them are aesthetic but damn it, I want to fix them only when they are officially there to stay because right now iOS 15 is still in beta.9 -
Going to register a domain name and it's already taken by a bloody estate agent. Why did my parents give me such a common name??1
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Honestly, stripe support is the best I've ever dealt with and I wish others would be exactly the same.
No level 0 support agents that don't know what the fuck they are talking about nor know their product to begin with, but instead every single person you chat with knows the API and even implementation details, just such a pleasant experience. -
That frustrating moment when you ask a Yes/No question and you get a full warstory and a conclusion to that story that doesn't answer the question and leaving you wondering why instead.
I just asked permission if I should implement this new feature on Dev/Test environment. Not gonna ask again next time. -
Several years ago, I heard from a friend who was doing assignments for students on the side. Quite a hustle. His story began when he wanted to figure out why can't these students be able to draw their own database tables, relationships, UML, etc. That's what school has to be teaching them and then he was told that they were learning through MS Access. He goes and tell me that even though this is a lame way of teaching database design, its definitely easier to explain through hands-on and less typing mistakes, as according to the lecturer he met. Making the explanation more visually appealing and helpful for understanding.
OK I get it, but somehow that taught them the wrong way of database design from the beginning. I'd prefer getting them to start writing SQL commands from day 1 and play em at some DB VM. Keep em as real as it gets.
Now I have my own students asking for help in their assignment and also asked for tutoring lessons in web development. So I gave them the crash course in HTML, CSS and Javascript. I've asked them if they've used anything of what I taught them in school. They go and tell me that they've been taught web development through Wordpress. Oh WTF!? I havn't talked to their lecturer yet but it better be a really good explanation to teach these youngsters in a flawed and bloated PHP CMS framework for "web development".2 -
It took AWS about a month to figure out why their load balancer was screwing up content length for requests from our site. Multiple times the ticket was closed due to inactivity because they took so long to investigate. Turns out there's a bug with how AWS load balancers scale, and when they are below a certain traffic threshold they truncate extremely long content. Their solution was to edit the balancer behind the scenes to always be scaled up, and then tell us to never delete it.
So then every time we needed to set up a staging environment we had to contact support so they'd edit the balancer. Which always took ages since most of the support agents didn't understand the convoluted issue and had to forward it on to more technically inclined staff, who then had to investigate fresh every time.
This was ridiculously annoying, so I spent months writing an automated solution to spin up staging new environments on the spot, this made use of a haproxy server which had to edit rules on the fly so that the AWS balancer could be circumnavigated. It was a better system then the old way anyway, but all the same an irritating issue to be forced to deal with.
All around a very shitty experience. This was a few years ago now and I'm not employed there any more, but I hope AWS fixed this since then.11 -
Does anyone know how in Movies and TV shows do all those computer sites/software are done?
Like when we see a cia mission room for example, and there after agents running a face recognising and get 50 popups with information, or location some secret hide out place and super cool screen with 10 widgets show us location..
That can't be real.. But i have no idea how it's done.. is it green screen replaced later with fake video, or something similar? Please help, I MUST KNOW THE TRUTH!!!!!!!
18 -
1. Change Windows to be one of Linux Distros. Merging the two worlds into one.
2. Every open source contributer gets magically paid based on their contribution. Your welcome Wikipedia.
3. Genie Dev, I set you free.6 -
I took a job with a software company to manage their product, which was a SaaS property maintenance system for real estate, social housing, etc.
There was no charge to real estate agents to use it but maintenance contractors had to use credits to take a job, which they pre-purchased. They recharged their credit costs back to the real estate agent on their invoice).
Whether this pricing model is good or not, that's what it was. So, in I came, and one of the first things management wanted me to deal with was a long-standing problem where nobody in the company ever considered a contractor's credits could go into the negative. That is, they bought some credits once, then kept taking jobs (and getting the real estate agent to pay for the credits), and went into negative credits, never paying another cent to this software company.
So, I worked with product and sales and finance and the developers to create a series of stories to help get contractors' back into positive credits with some incentives, and most certainly preventing anyone getting negative again.
The code was all tested, all was good, and this was the whole sprint. We released it ...
... and then suddenly real estate agents were complaining reminders to inspect properties were being missed and all sorts of other date-related events were screwed up.
I couldn't understand how this happened. I spoke with the software manager and he said he added a couple of other pieces of code into the release.
In particular, the year prior someone complained a date on a report was too squished and suggested a two-digit year be used. Some atrocious software developer worked on it who, quite seriously, didn't simply change the formatting of that one report. No, he modified the code everywhere to literally store two-digit years in the database. This code sat unreleased for a year and then .... for no perceivable reason, the moron software manager decided he'd throw it into this sprint without telling me or anybody else, or without it being tested.
I told him to rollback but he said he'd already had developers fixing the problems as they came up. He seemed to be confident they'd sort it out soon.
Yet, as the day went on more and more issues arose. I spoke to him with the rest of the management team and said we need to revert the code but he said they couldn't because they hadn't been making pull requests that were exclusive to specific tickets but instead contained lots of work all in one. He didn't think they could detangle it and said the only way to fix was "play whack-a-mole" when issues came up.
I only stayed in that company for three months; there was simply way too much shit to fix and to this day I still have no idea the reasoning that went on in the head of anyone involved with that piece of code.2 -
Had harsh words to a recruitment agency a few days ago who have been emailing me completely irrelevant job specs for weeks. (Side note, I don't know these people or how I ended up on the list in the first place, i'm not looking).
Got an apology this morning from one of the agents, their manager also just sent me a mail to apologise, as she can see from the records i've received a lot of crap ... but she also took a moment to let me know she does have a role that might actually suit my skill set.
Are you fucking kidding me?
"Why doesn't anyone reply to my emails" - because you are the devil and can't be trusted. -
Company had problematic client projects that each client has a bucket load of change requests. Company doesn't know how to say "No" to them. Company can't afford to pay the subvendors for the changes and the subvendors aren't willing to do them for free.
I went in, reverse engineer the shit out of each application, database, system, documented my own findings, changed according to each client request. This involves editing tables in MSSQL, rerouting PHP files, adding field and validations in C#, passing parameters in VB to Crystal Report, and managed every change request into my own personalize ticket system (that the company does not have).
Saved the company, everyone was grateful. A couple of months later, the company hasn't paid my salary on time, I left like a boss.
They're in shit again and need my help. Haha! -
In getting a remote job, go to a lot of online job boards. Filter their feed for remote work or work from anywhere. Get the RSS feed (if they don't have it, make one yourself), and add them to your RSS reader, like Feedly.
Do the following daily:
Go through the feed, study the job post ad, apply for the job as per their instructions. Archive those you don't have an interest in and those that you have applied. Repeat.
This also applies for hunting freelance contacts too.3 -
I'm just FUCKING DONE. Everyone around me looks at me like a fucking paycheck they either don't want to pay me or like one they want from me but that I can't make enough of. Every time I open my stupid cakehole something stupid flies out of it that offends someone or makes me look incompetent or sets me back somehow. I'm not suicidal but I don't want to be on this planet anymore. I'm stranded here with nobody who wants to hire me and people around me who are tapping their feet waiting for people to hire me. I have nothing in my bank accounts to cover enormous and increasing monthly expenses coming up on the horizon and no way to pay for them. I have a stupid president who just keeps making it worse and worse with every stupid thing that comes out of his geriatric mouth or that he signs with his shaking dementia-ridden hand. He just keeps taxing me and taxing me and now has an army the size of the FUCKING NATIONAL GUARD of IRS agents ready to FUCK ME UP THE ASS if I have just one business expense out of order. I have all of this responsibility for my family and none of the power to do anything for them. And now that most of my kids are adults, none of them can afford to move out for the long-term future and also they're not able to get much money to help out so it's still incumbent on me to carry them until they're like FUCKING 35 YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING! The wife is pretty much sick of me and my shitty attitude about it all and she says she thinks that I think it's all her fault. We don't have any kind of romantic relationship anymore (well, I have all the interest and she has all the avoidance).
Also, I'm a man, and white, and straight, and "privileged" (oh, so privileged) so I'm the _worst person on the planet_.
I was born on this earth to be a FUCKING WARNING, not the lesson. When that meteor comes, let it take me out first.9 -
I haven't killed a process in a long time so I typed, "man kill".
Why do I feel so triggered right now?3 -
Manager X: (logs a support ticket) "Agent is unable to access system using the password provided."
Me: "You're going to have to narrow it down a little, we have over 1000 active agents."
I hate the support side of my job... -
That feeling when everyone on devrant is shitting EU for Internet censorship while I'm here worrying about my country's future when they implemented Syaria Law. Very torn about it to be honest.6
-
Ex-colleague asked for help in regards to an old project we were working at my old job
Him:"We're experiencing an internal server error. What do we do?"
Me:"Restart tomcat, dude"
Him:"How?"
Then I explained how by finding tomcat in ps -ef in a Redhat server, because he's a Linux noob and needed a lesson in how services works. Proceeded to explain how to restart tomcat with an online guide available.
Him:"Couldn't find tomcat in any of the servers"
Me:"Are you sure? Send me screenshots"
Him: sent screenshots
Me:"it's there. Look carefully."
Him: finds it and proceeded to restart tomcat.
Him: "Can't restart. Some catalina.sh is stopping it."
Me:"Figure it out. You can do it".
Half a day passed...
Him:"I give up. If I restart the server, will tomcat also restart?"
Me:"Up to you man. It will work but it's bad practice."
He restarted the server vand now everything is honky dory. I feel sorry for him though.2 -
Just came up with something inspired by @librarycomic for use at the very start of every meeting with the customer.
"You have the right to remain silent. Any ridiculous specs or illogical features that you say can and will be laughed at in the back project office room.
Any real questions you ask will be answered to the best of our ability, as long as they don't violate privacy or the law or the internet.
You have the right to be in a hurry or tighten the deadline, but not to expect that it will cost the project any less.
With these rights in mind, let us begin our progress meeting. On to you."
Feel free to fork and contribute! :D -
I really don't understand this particular Government Department's IT Unit. They have a system and network to maintain except:
- They don't have a DBA
- They don't have a dedicated Network Engineer or Security Staff
- Zero documentation on all of the systems that they are taking care of (its all in each assigned particular staff's brain they said)
- Unsure and untested way of restoring a backup into a system
- Server passwords are too simple and only one person was holding this whole time and its to an Administrator account. No individual user account.
- System was developed by an in-house developer who is now retired and left very little documentation on its usage but nothing on how its setup.
But, the system has been up and operational for the past 20 years and no major issues whatsoever with the users using it. I mean its a super simple system setup from the looks of it.
1 App Server connected to 1 DB Server, to serve 20-30 users. But it contains millions of records (2GB worth of data dump). I'm trying to swing to them to get me on a part time work to fix these gaps.
God save them for another 20 years.3 -
FML. Just when I finally managed to dual boot win10 and centos, only to just read the news of RHEL change its focus and shift to make me a beta user into Centos Stream. Time to distro hop to Arch.6
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I don't know why I'm doing this but when I go to websites that aren't mine and found that there's a bug in their site or system, I kinda happily report these bugs and issues to their email with screenshots, findings and steps to reproduce the bug.
Just recently, I just went to a site and found a peculiar timeout error, eventhough it was less than a second to respond back. Only to find that there was an undefined JavaScript variable in their code.
Is there a bug bounty for fixing code?6 -
Ever had a client that emails you and then calls you if you received the email? I think it's understandable since most of us don't send a return receipt or whatever that's called.
But have you had a client message you on WhatsApp or equivalent that shows that you have read the messages and yet calls you to confirm if you have received the messages? 🙋
It's getting annoying really fast8 -
I think I joined the wrong crowd. After the recent Hackathon, I proposed that the team that I was working with, form a company in which we continue building apps, launch and try to profit. Y'know, the whole build fast and die slow kind of thing. Granted, I proposed it late November and we're all gearing up for the holidays. Now its January and everyone has this mindset of "if we don't meet, we don't get anything done" or "discuss face to face only". Guess they don't like the idea of working remotely.
I think I might just quit this venture after a couple of meetings with them before I lose my mind.4 -
Back to using WSL because I suck at installing windows apps on Wine (and that I can't seem to connect to a WiFi with PEAP on Linux that the network admin know how to except on Windows).
So can't exactly rice Windows. I know I can with raindock and all that but its not the same as Linux. So I'm on WSL, installed tmux and wouldn't you know it, I found plenty of dot tmux files on Github.
But alas, its not the same as i3wm but its close.
8 -
Just discovered Chocolatey and how it installs stuff through a command line. FINALLY AN EASIER WAY TO INSTALL JDK, ANDROID SDK AND ALL THAT!!!1
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Client: "According to the Postgresql Version Support Policy, 9.3 will be expired by September 2018. That's only a few months away."
Me in thought: "Expired? Like a rotten egg? With an expiration date? OK, chill. His English isn't that good. Maybe he meant that support expires since its EOL."
Client: "We need to upgrade so that we can continue using the database."
Me in thought: "Yeah, he really meant "expired" in database too."4 -
I decided to try and see if I can live on my 3GB mobile data plan for work and study today. For 3 hours, I just burnt 200MB by ssh, whatsapp, telegram, browsing forums to fix ticket, and reading manuals.
Guess I have to rely on my customer's restrictive WiFi. Sigh.6 -
Are you fucking kidding me?
Just read about Intel ME (I'm trying to secure my computer). Why the holy fuck does Intel need something that powerful? FUCK YOU, CORPORATE BASTARDS IN SUITS THAT RESEMBLE MATRIX AGENTS.
Does anyone have any tips or updates on this? The article I read was from Jan 2016...5 -
Windows users be like "Oh, it's fine. Our tent comfortably fits all my family and it's cold there for only half a year, but not too cold, just wear a coat while you're inside and you'll be fine. Clean water is only two miles away, walking is healthy after all. Yes, agents come every week and rape my wife but it only happens to newbs and honestly I respect that ritual, this is how life works. You only have to send three papers to them to ask them please not to rape us this week and they don't come for a whole week! I ain't stupid, I always carry my gun with me to shoot thugs"
Living with MacOS is just living. You pay the fee and they let you in.
Living with Linux can be just living too, but it can be much more, your skill and willingness to learn are always rewarded. I've been there, I used Arch.
But living with windows is always survival.18 -
So the little tech company startup that my mates and I was about to establish was closed and disbanded. Only because they were all following me, my technical expertise and not that they decided it would be in their best interest. This only happened when the Whatsapp group only started making noise when I made the noise.
So when I declared that I was leaving, they couldn't operate without me. LOL, effin sheeps and here I thought we'd all be partners working together and sharing the profits. Luckily I dodged the bullet.
Guess I'm going solo again. Hard to find people who we can click together and work together passionately with profits, y'know? Le sigh.1 -
I think what's worse than bad coding is bad network connection. Can't load StackOverflow, Network Assets, Run Reports, or pull updated repositories because somebody is hogging up the bandwidth. FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
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I was brought into my new position as part of an transformation of waterfall to agile methodology.
We are now running 4 while projects and need to restart the remaining 29 projects using agile principles. The business management type people love agile, but somehow the people inside the current waterfall practices doesn't.
They are afraid their silo work will either expand or not exist thus making it hard to transform the company. Also the company have been subjected to the dead sea effect.
Therfore, the project that is currently in the space of transformation is making my blood boil because people just ain't passionate enough about software.
Either you craft software, or, well you sit and suckle other's money. People suckling should please grow up and start venturing beyond there cozy 9 to 5 and transform to be a professional software doer rather than a BA, DEV, IT GUY.
YOU BASTARDS GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY AND DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THE EFFORT YOU BRING.
It is your software, own it, be proud of it. Read up to make it better. And as always, the people debugging your code can be a violent psychopath -
It was the worst local Hackathon. It's not even a Hackathon either, where the whole event spanned over 2 months.
It was a group entry with me and 4 teammates. Each of them did contribute:
Guy A: criticizes what is built and designed
Guy B: offered financial tips on how to make this thing feasible
Guy C: did UI but in graphics. No CSS file, just bits of graphical elements.
Guy D: family commitments
And then there's me, writing documentation, built the entire project, wiki, drove the project, prepared the presentation slides, tests the framework, unit tests, stuck with stupid problems like SSL, localhost, Google Maps Key and the likes.
And we didn't even win, let alone launch this thing, whatever it is, to anywhere. Never doing group projects again.
I'm flying solo for now -
Client: Can you put all the add on products we sell into the MDSL (Master Daily Sales Log)
Why aren't you adding them to the new console system? It allows you to add them and tracks all actions on the sale.
Client: The Health Agents don't know how to do that, and I think the manger hasn't added them into the system....yup he didn't add them.
Me: So how are you tracking the addon products you are selling?
Client: I don't know. Can you just add them to the MDSL.
Me: I wrote the console system to replace the MDSL, why are you using the spaghetti code system I wrote 8 years ago?
Client: They like it better because of this one report they use.
Me: I rewrote that report for the new system and it even gives more info.
Client: But the owner doesn't trust it, because it shows conversions and sales instead of just sales.
Me: ...1 -
Try:
Read_Localizated_Content_(Ita)
😉
Ho trovato questo meme su fb... Rido follemente 😂😂
Except ItalianNotInstalledError:
I found this meme on fb...
M: I won't lie Neo, whoever fought an agent is dead. But where they lost you'll be victorious.
N: why?
M: I saw agents throw fists through concrete. Man shoot loads of bullet on them without hitting anything else than air.
Their strength and speed, however, remain result of the application of a system with many rules.
And you.
You are italian
(referring to our ability to avoid, bend, ignore and replace rules)
😂😂😂
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I fucking hate foglight!
Fucking piece of over bloated shit software that can't do anything right!
This pile of harkonnen vomit is such a source of stress and frustration.
Can you believe that a monitoring tool, that needs to monitor 550 agents (host,dB's, webservices,whatever) needs a whopping 20+GB ram and 4vcpu's just to receive metrics and sent it to the main server, for just being a middleman???
Fucking piece of shit.
And worse of it all, due to some fuckery at mgmt-customer relationship level, they want to I stall MORE of this shit
Fucking shit
Quest software, never engage with them. You'll lose equal amounts of money as for dynatrace but be very bad off1 -
Why the fICKITY FUCK CANT UNITY DO WHAT ITS DING DANG JOB YO I'M JUST TRYING TO SIMULATE AUTONOMOUS AGENTS NOT AGENTS FROM HELL YOU FEEL ME
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Good: local news website has an interactive news paper online
Bad: You have to pay for it
Good: Found the exposed URL to all of the paper images
Bad: can't download from its parent directory
Good: made a shell script to download all images4 -
My phone got stuck in funky restart boot loop yesterday. The first 2 restarts was odd but after 3 cycles, I started panicking. Went on my PC, googled for all kinds of button combinations of power button, volume button, back button, and home button to get into fastboot, recovery and safe mode to see if I can clear stuff or at least get backup of my stuff. I also tried taking the battery out. Nothing works, except when I factory reset.
Everything was new again and as it booted up, I have to remember to change my authentication keys in LastPass, my private ssh key in Krypt. But fortunately, Google remembered all my apps and suggested if I wanted to install them again since it recognized my phone was an old phone. Thanks for tracking me Google. And now since its a reset, everything is clean, no cache, cookie, and some of my music files are all gone. Well at least its fast like before.2 -
Day 1 with Chromium OS: Inclusion of packages and stuff
Day 2 with Chromium OS: Setting up CI, and realize Azure is fucking gay because their own agents disconnects after 4 hours.
Just why.
Day 3 with Chromium OS: resolve their shitty problem, now their own agents have no disk space. I blame Google.
Day 4 with Chromium OS: Fix CI in at 10 commits, give up and cry.
Day 5 with Chromium OS: Realized Travis might stood a chance, build time limit reached, now I'm shook.
Day 6 with Chromium OS: Buried myself with endless tabs of Gentoo documentation. Lost count on when's the last time I came out of my room.
Today with Chromium OS: I blame Google for making my life suffer more than the last time I had depression.
Conclusion: Chromium OS is Gentoo with extra steps and I hate it5 -
#TIL that you can navigate part of your Linux commands with CTRL like CTRL+A gets you to the beginning of the typed command, CTRL+D deletes the forward command and CTRL+E gets you to the end of the typed command.
NONE OF THIS WAS FOUND IN ANY LINUX-FU LESSONS! THESE WERE WAY EASIER TO USE THAN USING THE ARROW KEYS GODDAMMIT!2 -
Worse than an incompetent colleague who can't help me fix technical issues is a demanding, confusing, beat around the bush, boss as a project director.
Project Manager is away and Project Director steps in to take over. Starts barking orders and when I try to actively contribute positively to get the project going, he stops at me, barks that I was asking the wrong questions or doing the wrong tasks. This isn't my first project rodeo. I have had plenty of project experience under my belt but he belittles me. I know what needs done and get the project done and over with.
I guess I know what I'll do. Avoid proactively contribute and just hang back until I get orders on what to do. Because fuck progress. Or until I hear more from my original Project Manager. -
Learning to tech to speed up learning.
Using a new cooperative learning technique, AI Lab researchers cut by half the time it took a pair of robot agents to learn to maneuver to opposite sides of a virtual room.
A combination of deep learning and reinforcement learning algorithms are responsible for computers achieving dominance at challenging board games like chess and Go, a growing number of video games, including Ms. Pac-Man, and some card games, including poker. But for all the progress, computers still get stuck the closer a game resembles real life, with hidden information, multiple players, continuous play, and a mix of short and long-term rewards that make computing the optimal move hopelessly complex.
Image: Dong-ki Kim
1 -
I uploaded my static site on AWS. Doesn't load when I typed the public IP in the URL. Googled, found StackOverflow answer to traffic and ports as a security group to AWS. Tried it and it still doesn't work.
Hey Bluehost, sorry I left but I'm back now7 -
Client wants me to document the updated patch in the system... In detail. I just want to upgrade their server memory but noooooo. They want me to detail it all in step-by-step, including change impact, description task, expected time duration, back-out plan.
The first time I had to do this, it was cute. But now it's FUCKING ANNOYING ON HOW DETAIL THEY WANT ME TO PUT IN!!!
Client: "OK, so you wanna upgrade the server memory. What do you need to bring into the data centre?"
Me: "Just my laptop. I'm just configuring your underutilised server memory and upgrade it."
Client: "Good. Put that in the document, including your laptop serial #, make and model."
Me: *Screaming internally* -
So my friends laptop had a long crack on his screen from mid left of the screen, squiggle around to bottom left. Every time he boots to the login screen, he struggles to enter his password. Because the crack affected the laptop's touchscreen, it's not emitting a touch event at the bottom left of the screen every time. He did finally managed to get the password in afterwards, and struggled to get to device manager and disabled the touchscreen driver, then later uninstalled it.
TLDR; had a hard time using his laptop because it was touching itself.1 -
Getting back into job hunting and job interviews after 2 years of employment is like going back to dating after being married for 5 years.
It feels weird and I'm worried I might be too forward on the questions. But I like how easy to apply for jobs now. Easy one-click apply from my LinkedIn account. Not sure if I should apply for startups or not -
While waiting for internet to load on crappy bandwidth, the wait can burn you out just as easily. Including response timeouts...
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Few days after a recent Hackathon, the team I'm on really wants to follow me and build stuff together because, I've built stuff before and they haven't.
How do I handle this fame of mine so that I can get them to become great developers themselves? -
Transferred a lot of important files in between PC with a 32 GB thumbdrive. One time, when I needed it the most, it couldn't read. It had the original up-to-date information on everything. Backup files were old and found in either emails, in another PC somewhere else and on an ex-colleagues laptop that, due to poor office management, lost track of where that laptop is.
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I see bad data and thought to myself, "I'll be able to fix this with a simple regex." A month later, I'm still finding new data patterns. Never give users the ability to store all of their data in a huge textarea box where they can make stuff up.2
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I don't usually tell my extended family that I work remotely but when I do, I have to explain what I do, how I do it and how did I get it.
Working remotely is very rare where I'm from. I only know one other guy does work remotely and thats it. -
At first, I didn't understand computers or internet or why is that dial up modem making noise. And then one day, I was playing with my dad's PC with games he bought and interactive CD quizzes for my studies. Something about teaching me about a Bill named Bill who sat on the steps to some court house singing how a bill becomes legal or something.
Then a few months after that I discovered internet and then a friend of mine introduced torrents, neopets and anime. Heck yeah!2 -
My colleague actually uses multiple email addresses that has different purposes. E.g. one email for travels, one email for work, one email for family, one email for other projects, one email for payments, etc.
I've yet to show him how emails nowadays can help label and sort them by nature.6 -
Was telling my colleague that I was busy working on regenerating puppet certificates. She asked if I was gonna buy new ones. Made me wonder if there were for a minute. She genuinely thought that we had to buy puppet certificates.
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Always have a roll forward plan, backups, and a site B. Especially if you think it is a non critical system.
-
Story of my first successful project
Being part of a great team, I've shared in a lot of successes, one I am particularly proud of is my first attempt to use agile methodologies in a deeply waterfall-managment culture.
Time was June/July-ish and we applied for a national quality award where one key element in the application stated how well we handled customer complaint resolution.
While somewhat true (our customer service is the top-shelf good stuff), we did not have a systematic process in resolving customer complaints. Long story short,
the VP lied on her section of the application. Then came the 'emergency', borderline panic meeting (several VPs, managers, etc) to develop a process to better manage
complaints before the in-house inspection in December.
As most top priority projects go, the dev manager allocated 3 developers, 2 DBAs, and any/all network admins we would need (plus all the bureaucratic management that wanted their thumb in the pie).
Fast forward to August, after many, many planning meetings, lost interest, new shiny bouncing balls, I was the only one left on the project. The VP runs into the dev manager in the hallway and asks "Is my program done yet? If its not ready before December with report-able data, we will not win the award."
The <bleep> hit the fan...dev manager comes by...
Frank: "How the application coming along? Almost done?"
Me:"No, haven't really started coding. You moved Jake and Tom over to James's team, Tina quit, and you've had me sidetracked helping other teams because the DBAs are too busy."
Frank: "So, it's excuses. You really think the national quality award auditors care about your excuses? The specification design document has been done for months. This is unacceptable."
Me: "The VP finished up her section yesterday and according to the process, we can't start coding until the document is signed off."
Frank: "Holy f<bleep>ing sh<bleep>t! No one told you *you* couldn't start. You know how to create tables and write code."
Me: "There is no specification to write to. The design document is all about how they plan on reporting the data, not how call agents will be using the application to serve customers."
Frank: "The f<bleep> it isn't. F<bleep>ing monkeys could code against that specification, I helped write it! NO MORE F<bleep>ING EXCUSES! This is your top priority from now on!"
I was 'cleared' to work directly with the call center manager and the VP to develop a fully integrated customer complaint management system before December (by-passing any of the waterfall processes that would get in the way).
I had heard about this 'agile' stuff, attended a few conference tracks on the subject, read the manifesto, and thought "I could do this.".
Over the next month, I had my own 'sprints' and 'scrums' with the manager (at the time, 'agile' was a dirty word so I had to be careful of my words and what info I shared) and by the 2nd iteration had a working prototype.
Feature here, feature there (documenting the 'whys' and 'whats' along the way), and by October, had a full deployed application.
Not thinking I would get a parade or anything, the dev manager came back from a meeting where the VP was showing off the new app to the other VPs (and how she didn't really 'lie' on the application)
Frank: "Everyone is pleased how well the project turned out, except one thing. Erin said you bothered him too much with too many questions."
Me: "Bothered? Did he really say that?"
Frank: "No, not directly, but he said you would stop by his office every day to show him your progress and if he needed you to change anything. You shouldn't have done that."
Me: "Erin really seemed to like the continuous feedback. What we have now is very different than what we started with."
Frank: "Yes, probably because you kept bothering him and not following the specification document. That is why we spend so much time up front in design is so we don't waste management's time, which is exactly what you did."
Me: "We beat the deadline by two months, so I don't think I wasted anyone's time. In fact, this is kind of a big win for us, right?"
Frank: "Not really. There was breakdown in the process. We need better focus on the process, not in these one-hit-wonders."
End the end, the company won the award (mgmt team got to meet the vice president, yes the #2 guy). I know I played a very small, somewhat insignificant role in that victory, I was extremely proud to be part of the team. -
One thing I hate about receiving secured passwords on secured channels like Signal is the font. Really grinds my gears that I can't tell if that's an l (lowercase L) or an I (uppercase i) and more so with 0 and O. Uuuugghh2
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Built a pretty slick chat bot for my company’s conferences that used Google’s Dialogflow for natural language processing and conversation state
It worked from a web chat or SMS. Allowed manual responding by agents as well as the chat bot. Pulled dynamic answers through a 3rd party API integration
Most common questions “what is the wifi password” and “tell me a joke”
Project was killed after 2 conferences - thankfully it only took me a few weeks to build4 -
We upgraded Zendesk to Essential plan as we needed atleast 4 agents(we had a plan with 3 agents that does not exist anymore). Annual fee rised to $240 per year.
After "upgrading" our 3rd-party integrations stopped working. I asked why and zendesk told me that we have to update to Team plan which costs $912 per year to get integrations working again (in our case, slack integration). Fuck that, fuck you zendesk. No fucking way we are paying ~$700 more a year just to get notified in slack about the tickets!
Looking alternatives...7 -
I know and I understand why people still opt for Windows but if they also try to pirate it, that's the only time to tell them to go get Linux. If they're too cheap to get the Windows license, go Linux.3
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With all of those change request features, I might as well charge you by the bytes in my node_modules alone.1
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Using grafana together with tinc+promotheus, has been a blast.
Initially I wanted to get into ELK with Kibana and all that, but that required 8G of ram, the instructions to get it running in the open source "mode" was nearly non-existent, together with all the ready docker compose stacks out there simply not working or the images being broken.
I'm sure I could've managed around most of those issues, but the fact it is as hungry as gitlab, made it a literal no-go for the usual server resources my clients host or my own scaled down server recently.
Thankfully I remembered that there's grafana and me having experimented some time ago with tinc, so I can have very lightweight beat'esque prometheus agents deployed listening on tinc local net only, with the typical nginx auth and some whitelists to all of the servers I host and all those of my clients.
The dashboard creation was especially great in grafana (tbf promotheus does actually most of it), literally what I always wanted out of those "complicated" solutions, that do it all, but have no proper query language, complex documentation, heavy collectors with no properly named data points, expensive resource runtimes, ..
with grafana I can just easily put dashboards into folders, create users to look only at certain stats or even dashboards (opened up some interesting contracts actually, because now I can also offer proper monitoring for all things delivered), easily drag and drop around stuff to fit more information (most others fix you to a small 3x2 grid, a too big grid for a TV or simply non resizable tiles, making that one counter take up an entire row) and resize to my hearts desire
tinc of course allows me to easily create private networks that are resistant to failure across any region and the routing is done for me, so I don't have to run around it all that much either
P.S: a damn tiny fly went into one of my now 4 monitors and died right in the middle, because I thought it's just some dirt and I pressed it in while trying to wipe it off, so that monitor now serves as the top most on a vesa mount5 -
Agents who try to convince you taking a job that earns less is a good idea for any reason other than them getting a recruitment fee
-
So I finally decided to take the plunge to dualboot my Windows 10, since I'm using Linux applications more and more than Windows applications.
I just had to choose Fedora out of all distros. It sort of worked. When I tried to install, it won't get pass the login screen (kept getting blanks). I rebooted several times and went with "Troubleshooting" and it got me passed the login screen and proceeded to install at the lowest graphical settings, i.e. 800x600
So far so good, I was able to operate stuff that I wanted but I just can't stand working in a really low resolution. My guess is probably incompatibility with nVidia driver. Tried everything, rpmfusion, the negativo17 repo, the current official fedora repo, the If-Not-True-Then-False guide, and bumblebee. None works.
Makes no sense at all. Luckily my Win10 still works. Now I'm stuck on whether to continue trying to get Fedora distro up or try a different distro and start back from square one...3 -
I like working my 10 hours a day. So for the 6 of them I want to pair program with my grads I expect them to be as focused as I am, actually even more, but 25 minutes into a session they just zoom out and start making jokes.1
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Postgresql kept shutting down at odd times. Then it became predictable. I googled, went through mailing lists, archives, old threads, Stack overflow, friends, family, my bosses, my old colleagues, forums, chat groups and paid redhat support.
Apparently, I'm the only one and the first on this planet to have this problem. And it's scary.6 -
I got plenty of stories of yelling at co-workers before for assortment of reasons. But let me tell you a story of a time I almost yelled.
Think of Adam Sandler when he's a bit ticked. He says something nice with nice words but he delivers it in an upset and load tone but not actually screaming/yelling. That's me trying to hold back but it reveals how upset I am. I do try to stay courteous and gentlemanly (I'm really trying to manage my anger after so much BS I've been getting after a decade of working). But there are times where my patience is testing its limits and well, I implode.
And when that happens, I regret doing that to my co-workers as we are all trying to get things done and still get paid by the end of day. But they stoopid! UGH!
Co-workers, I can tolerate a little more. But clients are a completely different story. Ever tried fake smiling for over 3 hour meeting of ridiculous change requests and has the balls to make them free? It fcking HURTS! -
Was fixing this time date issue on the servers and forgot how to. Ran $ man date
If I was still single, I'd cry. And if I get divorced, I would not know how to get into the game at all. I just hope the next time I run this would definitely help me get my life together, or fix this time drift properly. -
When I thought that JavaScript was everything because of node modules, frameworks and such until I learnt Python and Django.
Although, I have been wrong before.3 -
A non-relationship database system with drag and drop + business process flows. It was fun at first, but like my Android phone, it slowed the **** down so much that it affected business operations. Must have been their evil plan all along.
-
The only way I can edit Puppet config files is by git. And the only way I can git pull/push/commit/etc is generating a ssh key with a private key and give my public key to my supervisor to the git server (wherever that may be).
Because I'm on Windows 10 and screwed up my installers, I completely forgot to backup my ssh keys before resetting it. FML2 -
Damn it XenCenter! Why won't you reboot the VMs like I tell you!? Force reboot also didn't work. Now I have to shut it down and restore a back up VM. This has been going on for the past 2 weeks!!
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Hey Devs, question.
When job hunting, what would be your preferred option(s).
1. Contacted directly by the hiring company's HR
2. Applying via recruiting agents
3. Applying directly on companies job site
4. Referrals10 -
Odd question to a dev community who are naturally socially awkward that talks to their ducks.
Even then, for those of us who do have a social life, we just chill when we need to. Anyone who "tries" to balance their life would find it very stressful. Just go with it. Do what you need to do at that scheduled time and when time is up, do the other thing that you promised yourself.
Others: "Easier said than done! You don't have to push releases and squash bugs in critical moments!"
Then that's a trigger to the question, "Do you even live, bro? There's more to life than just dev all day err'day."
Don't think too much. -
I just attempted to download and install Android studio in Ubuntu VM of 25GB disk space allocated... AND IT STILL NEEDS MORE SPACE!!!1
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Decided to try Windows Subsystem for Linux instead of running a Linux VM instead. It works so far except installing stuff like sshuttle. So many errors man...
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1. Enroll in course/project/tutorial
2. Watch, apply, ask questions, find answers and repeat until nothing left to learn
3. Reformat the machine I was learning from
4. Forgot what was learnt and repeat from step 1 until it becomes 2nd nature
5. ???
6. PROFIT (by doing jobs)!!! -
Ok, @jestdotty , today, i give up on china.
I've been messaging with a rep who is taking the time to keep editing a contract... Im pretty sure she was genuinely trying...
As typing this we finally got to a 'correct enough' contract... so I could click the damn pay button.
Over the past 7 hrs.. at 3 back and forth exchabges and modifications at each issue:
1. Used previous PI from the dude i gave up on... so had a qty at 12 when only 11 exist a colour wrong for a crate of items, and listed the dude i refused to sign a contract under listed as the rep.
2. Now the item subtotals were off... just a few pennies or so... assumed she left the usd prices but calculated with ¥... didn't want alibaba to reject in a day so i checked if it was noted anywhere... Oh boy was it... VERY clearly, all caps, bold in the body of the total row... that the total was, exactly, 11680 (spelled out ofc) RMB aka ¥ chinese yen. I told her this, she sends me a cropped shot of the $ numeric total field... so i sent her the giant all caps bolded line, the one thatd typically be considered final say in most international courts... no clue where that value came from, it had zero relation to any actual values... and i was as curious as when chatGPT creates totally new, unique, lyrics for satirical german songs... i really tried.
3. Wrong incoterms (trade terms... abbreviated to a few letters... had it that I'd be physically going to the tbd port to accept/clear customs... no)
4. Technically it was accurate (well a few strange subtotals since she used ¥ half the time... told her it was fine as long as it had the company name on the label (gave 3 full examples to use whichever)
I get the contract ...shipping...
"To: Sara"
Then the right address (seriously wtf)
5. I point this out and carefully explain in mostly just examples and "the us government doesn't like anything being sent to just a first name, there's no legal way to sign for acceptance"
6. She gets stressed enough to tell me she doesn't have time to keep editing (since this horrid pile of poor formatting was just thrown at her a day ago... i dont point out the ridiculous irony)
7. Imo, the highlight of my night/morning... in her stress she promises me it'll ship right... sooo many issues there...
Even if it was delivered/allowed a signature for "sara" for 7ish large boxes just off a sea freight from china to a residence in the middle of a corn field (which tbh would be hysterical)...the IRS would have a valid reason to audit me... theyve done it w/o valid reasons several times, since I was 18 doing international trade and a contractual employee of a large gambling company, quarterly reporting, and ofc declaring more than my taxes in donating melted glass and crane game prizes...yea, they hate me and always do all that work to find the same thing... i underdeclare charity by 10%.
The entire concept of getting USA mail, even when pristine and you know logistics agents in every major company and port or distribution center, to properly deliver anything... ROFLOL ... and im already on some 'open and check everything' list with customs for a hysterical misconception they made years ago... cant/shouldn't get into detail publicly... but it was caused because 2 packages from different cities in China were both going to my address/through customs at the same time... package 1, 75 of those cheap af ball-pit hollow plastic balls for a 2yr old's bday(very delayed) package 2. 75 rechargeable batteries (the kind in power banks) 9600mah.
8. Told her to change "sara" to company name... glad it's registered to this address still.
It took me under 5min to type this... had to get the WTF out.
Dear AliBaba, please give an option to allow buyers to create the supply side contract for review, not just req modification... please?2 -
I often get distracted by other incompetent teams and preach ddd and tdd to them instead of writing my own code1
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Macromedia Authorware. Wasted 3 months of my life on a course assignment and classes for this. Shame really cuz I was hoping it would improve after Adobe took over.
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Had to present to my boss on my progress of Alienvault. Nothing works. Looked at all of the settings, configs, logs, and it shows no activity. I worked hard to get these things to run properly up until yesterday and during presentation day, it just up and stop.
Warning to everyone: Don't get AlienVault OSSIM. Its a headache to configure. -
I'm a gadget freak who also wants to start living the life of a minimalist and zerowaste lifestyle. Eff me right?
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Part of my remote work is to have a daily call reporting in on what I have done yesterday and what I am about to today. My colleague calls me for it. She's hired as a tech support and is suddenly assigned to take note and report on my work activities to our boss. Several times, I caught her pretending to know what I'm talking about like with Puppet configurations, Firewall diagnosis packets, ActiveMQ, Regex, etc. Most of the time, I just let it go as its not my job to validate her knowledge on these different but many services. Just do the call, get the report in, carry on. How difficult was that?
Yesterday, our call was left sour because I somehow blew up. I think I've reached my patience with this woman's assumptions to how these services work. Now I feel guilty for yelling at a lady but goddamn she stoopid for fibbing through my ear. Somebody help! What do I do?
If I report to our boss about her technical incompetence (politely), she might get sacked. She's a good tech support as long as she still has her trusty manuals by her, she can fix specific problems. But when it comes to unknown tech to her, she assumed she knew.
If I tell her about her weaknesses, however constructive I can get and as politely as I can get, all the while complimenting something about her, showing her how to improve herself, maybe she'll do better not to ask silly questions like buying a Puppet certificate? At least getting rid of ignorance would definitely help but not sure how she would take it. The worst thing I would imagine is her backfiring and yelling at me and then we ended up fighting.
If I kept quiet and tuck it all into a can, it will eventually implode as we go on.
This is not about her gender. I don't see her as a woman. I see her as a tech support engineer who should know her stuff.1 -
So I finished a side project at a cost of my company time. Now I'm panicking to get shit done before I get fired but also glad that I finally made something in 2018. THIS FEELING IS SO CONFLICTING!!!
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Client wanted to backup the uploaded files by users to a different drive.
The servers I was working on was Windows servers so I just used robosync between the 2 folders, saved as a batch script.2 -
Decided to continue my studies because I really wanted to go into Artificial Intelligence. Even though I've learnt some here and there in Machine Learning, Deep Learning and its various modules of supervised and unsupervised learning but I felt like that I'm not getting anywhere and need some proper guidance. Decided I could take a Masters in this specific field with a lecturer's guidance.
Enter my boss, I've asked for consent if its OK for me to continue my studies. He goes on and on that employees are valuable and that we're at the start of a big project currently (even though I've asked that I'm thinking of taking the next intake in September 2019) and couldn't afford to lose my time to studying A.I. Not only that, he insulted that A.I. is useless in a Fintech company. And instead he wants me to learn about blockchain tech.
Who is the choosing beggar here?
I mean OK, I get it. I've seen mature students who took on part-time studies to get diplomas and degrees and I understand the huge stress in assignments and research. I'm well aware of that and I've done self-paced studies for a long time now. I believe I can handle the pressure and time management in juggling between work, study and life through past experience and observation. How is this any different aside from doing towards a degree?
He even felt threaten that I might leave and get a better and different job after I graduate. Does he think I'm stupid to tell him about my intention if I knew that I'll be getting a better paying with more perks job than what I already have with him? I didn't want to leave my good job as there's loads of things I want to do for the company. But since his attitude towards my education pursuit shows, I think I just might. I don't know. I like the company I'm working for. Just not for him.3 -
Imagine if you could anything you want to do right now other than working like play games, watch a film, or sleep. That's your goal.
But to get it, you have to finish your work as fast and as effective as possible. Didn't finish your work? Sorry, can't stop. Hustle it.
The sooner it's done, the sooner you can do whatever the fuck you want.4 -
One of my few friends died with unknown reasons. Would it be unethical to hack their accounts to get more info?5
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Its been awhile since I opened up my Server VM to play around with. Until when I had to login to my DB VMs, I forgot the password. And forgot to save them into my password manager. Whelp, perfect for me to go back to square 1.1
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I've been working for over a year now in this remote job as a sysadmin for a local client. I personally find this job quite intimidating at first with all of the infrastructure and all of its many microservices running in high availability set up. I enjoyed learning everything about them and why it's been set up this way, which gives me ideas if I were to build my own app (not competing with my current employer, of course).
But now I don't feel comfortable managing this beast in its many environments.
From time to time, I would hear from my old colleagues at my old sucky company for help in their work and that they know I'm an expert in. I help and it makes me feel good.
Now I'm at a career dilemma. I don't want to lose my current job because I feel "uncomfortable" with managing and administrating the tech holding the whole infrastructure. And I don't wanna go back to my old job with the sucky pay and the feel of being unchallenged. And if I try to find another job, I might be as lucky as I do now, especially good difficult it is for me to find a remote job to begin with.
Objectively, I just need to clear off my debts (at this rate, in 4 years), and have a side income to support my family. But I don't think I can follow through on that plan. Should I look for a new job or do better with the current job that I have now?3 -
* Automated Technical and Fundamental Expert Advisor trading in MT4 with Python dealing with RSS News Feed on the Financial Calendar
* Food decision/recommender/randomizer app
* Food decision/recommender/randomizer bot
* Personal Companion set up on Raspberry Pi with Jasper AI, buy BrickPi and Lego Mindstorm to make it a friendly moving robot
* Cardboard fort for my kid
* A 3D game that involves hacking with drama storyline (inspired from Mr. Robot) and publish it on Steam
* A SaaS app like Tinder that matches would-be Project Managers with Devs to push Devs to finish side projects that we have and push Project Managers to use whatever PM techniques and methodology (Six Sigma perhaps)
And so much more... Ughh. -
Blog about personal stuff. Like how my lunch tastes bad today or saw a cool gadget that I can't afford. Or journal my feelings that I didn't buy Bitcoin yet. 😭😭😭
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Local company has an API service that I'm interested in playing with. Most services would just have you sign up or just read the open api docs. But not this one. Wants me to jump through hoops because its part of their "KYC" policy. I just want to test something before I think of using it for real and they can't provide any test accounts/environment for that. Oh well, at least, I can document my rough experience and perhaps guide others to do and use (or not use) it.
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This bit of code I wrote made me outwardly laugh. I'm losing my mind over here, and my team will look down on me and the stupid shit I'm doing.
6 -
When I shared my terminal setup with a bit of ricing to a Telegram group, someone asked what my terminal was. I said it was just the default terminal on my Fedora 27. Not that XTerm stuff or any other extra terminal emulators. He still insists that every terminal has a name. He's right.
I shall name my terminal "Default".3 -
Our pipeline had been running for 45 minutes, I went to investigate
Our mutation testing framework had identified 90 potential mutants and started running through our 342 tests for every single mutant, so 90 * 342 tests
And I had been complaining about the amount of pipeline agents being too low and pipelines blocking up...5 -
QA to Android Dev : "the app just force closed"
Android Dev : giving a Darth Vader look pretending to use the force.
QA : "won't work on me, i have the FORCE CLOSE" -
Well that was fun while it lasted... (1 day) Now I think I need a new person to impersonate... Or maybe just build a bot to impersonate anyone for me... Automatically...
https://usatoday.com/story/news/... -
The following piece of advice will be for those aspiring for an IT service desk position:
When companies are looking to hire service desk agents, they're primarily looking for socially skilled people with strong communicative skills, rather than primarily technically skilled people. When I first joined the IT world, I went on different interviews for that position and across all of them there was one truth: all the interviewers were eyeballs-focused on my social and communication skills and a mere thin layer of technical skills was required (depending on how technical the service desk). In fact, I immediately got aggressively dismissed twice for two of those when I filled in a Myers-Briggs personality test according to my Sheldon-type personality (selfish, condescending etc). Conversely, when I applied for a new position and I faked that test into answering everything focused positively on the social aspect, I was an immediate top candidate.
Here's a definition from the ITIL Foundation course, chapter Service Management: Because of how lateral the function of the service desk has become today (not only used to solve technical issues, but also company-wide issues), the most important and valued skills when hiring a service desk agent are fully focused on empathy and soft skills and none of those are technical skills. This is because the service desk has people that are the front window of your company and thus you can't make social mistakes as to protect your company's reputation. That risk has to be minimized and you need the ideal people. The people who in fact solve the technical problems are behind a back-office and they are contacted by the service desk agents.
In the beginning, when I did my first service desk job, I also thought: "Oh, I'm going to have to convince them I'm this technical wizard". In the end I got hired for being able to explain technology in human language and because in the interview I successfully communicated and explained ideas to both the team manager and the CEO, not because I knew what goes on inside a computer. This is a very important distinction.
My friends have also been in service desk positions and ironically they were the most successful when they were empathetic slimeballs (saying: "of course, anything for you" while not meaning it, constantly making jokes), rather than people with integrity (those got fired for telling the customer they were wrong while being unfriendly).
I hope this helps.8 -
Should I try to build a OS myself with this: https://github.com/danistefanovic/... as my starting point?
My goal is to try and build a Linux OS that can also run Android apks (not necessarily from the Play store) that is imaged and able to run on my Raspberry Pi. Or this is a dream that cannot be realized?2 -
I have technical problems with postgresql, AlienVault, Xenservers and Fortigate. I should be reading manuals and going through forums and mailing lists but instead, I'm reading ebooks in personal development like time management, verbal communications improvement and personal finance.
What is wrong with me?1 -
Obligatory !rant, I had been I think about 6 jobs. My current job is still new to consider best/worst boss yet but in my entire career, my old job was the best boss ever. Looked out for all of us, care for us, fought for us, pushed us to do better and rewarded us for being exceptional. Unfortunately I left because of upper management's stupid decisions for financial reasons. I won't go back for my old job but I wouldn't mind working for my old boss again.
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Everyone's stressing and regretting not buying/investing in Bitcoin when it was hella cheap way back when and now it's even harder to join in with the whole bubble view.
Don't mind me and my Forex though. I'm sticking with the other traders of actual currencies.1 -
That GPD Pocket looks nice. Just needs to reformat to Linux and it's perfect. Beats Samsung Galaxy S8 and Dex Station all the way
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Started playing Futsal 2 months ago. Had another game today. Realized that I suck at this and felt more of a better team player as a coder/project coordinator than a goalie/defender. Now I'm wondering if I should switch to a different sport or quit altogether.
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Over 3 months, I wrestled and toiled with learning how rsyslog works, send to the log server, passes that to AlienVault OSSIM, where I have to build a plugin that, I thought could be done with a built-in plugin builder but ended up with building it from scratch, and have to learn Regex (surprisingly was fun thanks to amazing online resources), test, build, restart rsyslog, ossim-agent, ossim-server and ossim-db just to get the application log showing up on the BROWSER!
I like OSSIM but what's killing me the most is rsyslog. I still can't get grasp how to get custom logs of any kind into a log server. I don't think I'll remember any of this by tomorrow but whelp. -
Anyone tried this Krypt.co thing? I just tried setting it up and I hooked up my Github and Google account with it. The odd thing during the connection, it kept asking me to add it as a Security Key. I didn't realize the Chrome Extension tricked the browser to think that it had a security key connected to it.
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I didn't think I was going to be in Forex trading. And then I learnt about Quant trading. Definitely want to get into that.
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all amazon customer service agents should be dragged to the edge of a pit, shot, dropped in and have raw sewage used to bury their bodies.
that about sums up a portion of what they deserve prior to their departure to hell.16 -
Telling the customer it's not a system problem but their end users network problem over and over with proof and still making a fuss over it. What the hell do I do next?1
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Anyone know which hotswap agents are best for Java?
I got this genera tic project here, in 1.8 which takes about 3 minutes a pop to build. HotSwapAgent doesn't want to play nice -
So i have been after this null exception for days now in my webhook my senior gave me the asp
And they told me like make a new project out of it i kept on passing my dialogueflow agents and kept getting null exception and today i finally figured out it was the code for v1 of dialogueflow and today i wrote a new json parsing code and voila it passed im so happy but i encountered new error just few lines ahead about that unexpected character encountered ugh I'm so tired1 -
What's harder than trying to name a variable is to think of a memorable but easy to type password to a system that resets expires every 3 months with history checks.2
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You know what really grinds my gears? For a software like OSSIM, the community support may be lacking, but the documentation sucks @$$.
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Its one thing to store all text data of an address into a single database field. Its another where data is so hard to capture with regex because fuck patterns and consistency.
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Much like everyone else, I'm into gaming but more specifically the Final Fantasy series. The latest FFXV is amazingly detailed and beautiful to play
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