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Search - "despicable scum"
So because of the sheer number of interviews I’ve been doing I’m starting to get a bit brazen with them since I’ve started to really not give a fuck about most of them and I’ve started to notice patterns in common lines of questioning resulting in this unexpected gem today:
Interviewer: So we always start our devs off on the bottom end of our salary band.
Dev: Either give me the top or I’m not interested.
Interviewer: 😡. But if we start you at the top of the salary band we’ll have nothing to give you later. 🥺.
Dev: No need, I’ll take the money up front. Companies don’t give raises these days anyway, it’s just a carrot to dangle in front of the naive.
Interviewer: 😡. Well if all you care about is money so focussed on money you’ll just leave if a better offer comes around!
Dev: All the more reason to give me the highest number possible to defend against that possibility.
Interviewer: 😡. But there are other devs on the team with similar experience that will be making less than you.
Dev: Sounds like they fell for the negging and guilt tripping you are currently attempting on me in order to save a buck. Salary is not based on your skills or experience anymore, it’s based on your ability to negotiate. Here’s mine.
Interviewer: ………………. I’ll pass you along to the hiring manager.
Dev: ???? wtf
HOW THE FUCK DID THAT ACTUALLY WORK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I WAS TRYING TO GET THEM TO HANG UP FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES AND NOW I’M LOOKING AT A 20K RAISE ALL BECAUSE I CONTINUALLY TOLD THEM TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES??? THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT IT TAKES TO BE TREATED PROPERLY BY A COMPANY???16