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I noticed that urban dictionary didn't have a definition for devRant.
So I posted one.
And it got rejected ):
*Bawls like a baby*
To the four people who will read this, if you're remotely close to being interested, let me know, I'll post it here.29 -
"Why is this taking so long?"
"Unforeseen complications"
"Why didn't you factor that in while estimating?"
"Because thats impossible, by definition."7 -
Got annoyed by hitting f11 instead of f12.
("step into" versus "go to definition").
Solved the problem :)
12 -
As I'm a privacy conscious person and people often call me paranoid, i decided to have a look at the definition of paranoia.
Paranoia appearantly consists of:
- having intense fearful/anxious feelings.
- delusional thinking, thinking that things which aren't true are true.
These are the most common symptoms I could find on every health website.
The interesting part is that neither of those things apply to me... (not delusional either, the things I try to protect myself from are quite real)
................🤔30 -
Just downloaded some big ass codebase and the first line i read is:
"// The source code is not well documented, but every advanced programmer will be able to understand it after some time."
Well... let's find out about your definition of "some time", Dickhead!3 -
!dev
I find it funny to see how people very often go into defense mode (of those companies) when I call them (a select amount of companies) mass surveillance companies.
I mean, when you search for the definition of a surveillance compatible (or, surveillance) and see what those companies (Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Twitter, AOL, Yahoo, Paltalk), it outright matches that of (a) surveillance company/companies.
Then, when you look at the scale they perform this at (mass scale, mass amount of people/users), it fits the definition of a mass surveillance company...
No matter how you turn it, those companies are, per definition, (mass) surveillance companies (apart from the fact that they're integrated within worlds biggest created government powered mass surveillance program ever).3 -
Hotel offers no breakfast, towels are not exchanged unless you request every day, staff does not speak English, cleanness is clearly very broad definition...
WiFi is excellent.
5/5 would recommend.4 -
One team was delivering for 12 months.
... but definition of done not met. Code crap everywhere. Tests barely there and are total mess.
I inherited mess after previous lead engineer.
I exposed all the issues to the management in a straight way, no sugar coating.
... and now guess who's the bad guy for "complaining" instead of shut up and "making it work"?
P.s.
"Giving accurate report about situation" is seen as "complaining".7 -
Product Owner: "Our definition of done is putting it on production. So you are only done if it's on production. Otherwise our sprint goal is failed."
So we put it on production.
After deploy, some content manager appears: "Why is the system doing things? I was told this should not happen today."
"Erm, we have put the feature on production as we are only done if it's on production."
"Well, yes. But it should not be live yet!"
Oh well. Communication, or the lack thereof, does never fail to amaze me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
Function definition in various programming languages
//JavaScript/PHP
function myfunc()
{
}
//Swift
func myfunc()
{
}
//Kotlin
fun myfunc()
{
}
//Rust
fn myfunc()
{
}
//Next...
f myfunc()
{
}26 -
A few weeks ago a client called me. His application contains a lot of data, including email addresses (local part and domain stored separately in SQL database). The application can filter data based on the domain part of the addresses. He ask me why sub.example.com is not included when he asked the application for example.com. I said: No problem, I can add this feature to the application, but the process will take a longer.
Client: No problem, please add this ASAP.
So, the next day I changed some of the SQL queries to lookup using the LIKE operator.
After a week the client called again: The process is really slow, how can this be?
Me: Well, you asked me to filter the subdomains as well. Before, the application could easily find all the domains (SQL index), but now it has to compare all the domains to check if it ends with the domain you are looking for.
Client: Okay, but why is it a lot slower than before?
Me: Do you have a dictionary in your office?
<Client search for a dictionary, came back with one>
Me: give me the definition of the word "time"
<Client gives definition of time>
Me: Give me the definition of all words ending with "time"
Client: But, ...
Never heard from him again on this issues :-P5 -
Okay, y'all!
Thank you for being remotely interested in my post. It really cheered me up :-D
Here's the definition I submitted, also attached the proof of my humiliation.
devrant
It's the ray of fucking sunshine in a developer's perpetually annoying lifestyle. It is developer-made for developer-use.
An anonymous social platform where the app owners/founders/creators ACTUALLY LISTEN to user feedback!
Developers who have made up a million fucking ways to ask their fucktard co-worker/boss/client to go die, can exchange their creativity for ++s.
It's a platform to channel their rage into a creative rant and calm down a bit. It's like taking a long, deep, virtual breath.
Useless software/apps that behave like they were developed by 5 year olds, also take a hit sometime.
PS - Addiction is a common side effect.
21 -
The best job denial letter I've ever seen was sent to my husband and said:
- We already have too many people named Eugen in our company.2 -
A day of an iOS developer life:
1. XCode crashed
2. XCode freeze
3. XCode "Jump to Definition" takes me to a different file that has the exact same variable name instead of jumping to the top of the file
4. XCode Storyboard designer throwing 1000000000 as UIStackView width on a newly created UIView
5. Heart attack
6. Lots of depression
** Note:
just noticed devRant web has xcode as placeholder in the tags box lol devRant knows my pain T_T8 -
Do managers not fucking understand that Jira is meant to eliminate all this stupid "What's the status with X?", and "Is Y done yet?" chatter. Our communication channels should be on business logic and other global updates about the company, not about fucking workflow status updates because you have nothing else to do with your day but ping me every 5 minutes.
LOOK AT THE REVIEW COLUMN ON JIRA. I MEAN ITS LITERALLY CALLED REVIEW. SO REVIEW IT AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I swear the devs consistently have a better overview on timelines and project status than management does - which is sad, because this is literally the definition of management!!!18 -
So apparently I am not a programmer because I turn tea into software. :(
Anyone else feeling discriminated by this definition? :D
11 -
What I was supposed to do today:
Finish up some homework and code for a bit
What I actually did today:
1. Boot up my laptop to get started on homework
2. Open Spotify and try to connect my headphones
3. Reinstall Bluetooth and pulseaudio to connect to headphones
4. Connected! But the sound quality is shit
5. Spend an hour or so learning about codec sinks and how Bluetooth is the definition of an overengineered clusterfuck
6. Install some package from the aur to get AAC codec support
7. Now we have high fidelity audio, but the headphones still connect to the crappy SBC sink, so I spend another 45 minutes writing a shell script to automatically switch to the AAC sink when a Bluetooth headset connects
8. It’s finally working! But now I have no motivation to do my actual work. Fml8 -
FUCK Android, whoever invented this piece of shit should be really proud of themselves... And yes, this rant comes from an iOS developer who's working on a project in react-native... Why the fuck everything should always work on iOS but the same thing is fragile as shit on Android? Why the fuck there's a thousand of different versions of every Android package and every single one breaks another? Why the fuck Android is so fragmented... If this piece of shit is the definition of "openness" then I'd really prefer the "closeness" of iOS... Totally reminds me of how much I hated IE6 back in the web development days73
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The definition of torture: watching your non-techie wife attempt to setup a new computer and refusing to accept help.
... there are so many metaphors I can put here but if she sees any of them it would be grounds for divorce so I will leave it at that.4 -
Junior coder says validation is not needed on asp.net mvc form pages because it is not in the requirements or part of the definition of done. Wants to argue about it. Refuses to do it. Says I am over optimizing or some shit like that. Good luck with that. If you can't figure that one out or listen to feedback perhaps you should become a project manager not a programmer.11
-
Finding a memory leak is the very definition of the journey where you start with "I hate everything" and end up with "I am GOD"3
-
My bro and I are going home from a concert and talking.
Bro: Man, my life's made out of problems you can't just solve by definition.
Me: You didn't tell me you started working with java.
Later I realised he was talking about problems with his gf.4 -
Managements definition of an MVP:
- Integrate our backend and database with a similar-ish, older internal system built on a different tech stack and different rules.
- Merge the functionality and delete the old one.
- Modify our system to accept 2 types of logged in users.
- Have 2 versions of our API that return different values.
- Update our mobile app to render different data based on which user is logged in.
- Onboard the old system users to this new system.
My definition of an MVP:
- Tell the store we are taking over, that they have to print their labels from our tool, and onboard the users to our app.9 -
I've tried to stay out of the fray regarding replacing long-standing terminology to use "safe" inclusive wording instead because it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me to just use the new wording. If the old wording wasn't hurting people (this is an argument that a of a lot of people use regarding this mass naming change movement) then the new wording shouldn't hurt anyone either...
that was just my 2 cents on the topic, until today!
Some dumb motherfuckers are trying to replace the word 'execute' with 'start'/'run'.
That's just some fucking ignorant plebian shit right there. The literal definition of execute is:
"The act or process to carry out fully or put completely into effect"
"to do what is provided or required by..."
"to perform what is required to give validity to..."
start and run don't grammatically encapsulate what execute does. And now I sound like a fucking grammar nazi because this shit is getting under my skin more than it should.
Execute's primary definition is grammatically correct for the context in which it is used.
Change Master/Slave for databases and I couldn't give a single solitary fuck about it. Primary/Secondary works just fine too. The grammatical context isn't blown away here.
But take away my execute and sudden I get all hot and bothered with the desire to punch a nun over how stupid this "offensive words" crusade is.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.15 -
Renaming your master branch to "main" is racist. When Git was created, there were no connotations related to slavery. Also, the word "master" has many meanings, and in the context of computer technology, "master" has nothing to do with slavery.
When I tell that to people, some of them say "but wait, you're white, so you by definition can't understand feelings of black people".
Feelings come from one's mind. Proposing the situation where I can't understand something because "only black people understand it" implies white and black people being different in their cognitive abilities, and that's fucking racism right there.
Ability to understand cultural and historical phenomena does not depend on race. Anyone who says that without a biological proof is a racist.
I find it ironic how it's microsoft who almost enforced this on GitHub while themselves supporting literal concentration camps: https://github.com/drop-ice56 -
A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things.2
-
(backstory -> I have 10 years of experience as a software engineer)
Me: So I would like to develop myself to become "officially" a senior engineer
Manager: sure, you basically need to show consistent behaviour
Me: ok, but what specifically? on what criteria do you determine when it is time for promotion?
Manager: there isn't anything like that defined yet, we would like to work on a definition of roles and responsibilities, but we're not there yet
Me: ok but how did you do it so far?
Manager; well as I said, you have to show consistent behaviour that characterises you as a senior.
Me: ....10 -
"We use WSDL and SOAP to provide data APIs"
- Old-fashioned but ok, gimme the service def file
(The WSDL services definition file describes like 20 services)
- Cool, I see several services. In need those X data entities.
"Those will all be available through the Data service endpoint"
- What you mean "all entities in the same endpoint"? It is a WSDL, the whole point is having self-documented APIs for each entity format!
"No, you have a parameter to set the name of the data entity you want, and each entity will have its own format when the service return it"
- WTF you need the WSDL for if you will have a single service for everything?!?
"It is the way we have always done things"
Certain companies are some outdated-ass backwater tech wannabees.
Usually those that have dominated the market of an entire country since the fucking Perestroika.
The moment I turn on the data pipeline, those fuckers are gonna be overloaded into oblivion. I brought popcorn.7 -
Fresh out of dropping out of uni with a real heaping of newly diagnosed depression.
Get job in the industry.
Absolute joke of a company, spiral even further.
Thus begins the saga of boom / bust and the universe / myself fucking me over just as things get good that has been the last 8 years of my life.
Maybe one day I’ll write properly about my experience of mental health, in industry, in welfare and in my family too.
Suffice it to say, anything that leads you to take a whole year out, as well as makes you question whether what you thought was your dream job is actually right for you - is, ultimately, the definition of burnout.
tl;dr - the last 8 years have been a fucking burnout episode.1 -
!rant
I am so proud of my dad :D Last weekend I went to Minecon and spent most of my time with other modders. When I posted on FB a friend replied "I didn't see you", to which I said "I was with the modders". My dad then replied what are modders. It was late at night so I didn't get to respond and forgot about it.
This morning when I talked to him he said he looked on the online dictionary and found the definition by himself. That made me really proud, considering he is not computer savy and always relied on me to answer IT questions 😍 -
Spotify premium ad: "Subscribe to Spotify premium and you can skip any number of songs you want. We won't take it personally."
Actually you do!
What I skip and what I listen through tells your machine learning what I like and what not. That's how it builds my listening profile.
So your (software's) opinion of me directly depends on what and how much I skip.
(I expect that skips from people skipping often to have less value than from seldom skippers.)
That sounds like the definition of "taking it personally"!7 -
A meeting about defining the
definition of done (…)
I know I mentioned it before, but it’s beyond stupid.
- Lasted 2.5 hours
- Didn’t solve shit
- Could have been solved by adding a freaking column in our Jira, but someone wanted a physical board cause let’s waste paper I guess.
Just imagine 2.5 hours of continuous suggestions and stupid reject reasons.
Fun fact: it was called by a “senior” dev which rejected every single purposal cause they also didn’t want to change the process.
Idfk why I didn’t leave the company sooner, had to get a massive burnout before realising my sanity is worth more than being paid the minimum in the office.1 -
My family supported me all the way. Not per definition by buying me stuff but they always 'pushed' me to do what I love doing and I am now doing that!
But, I'm a huge privacy/cybersecurity freak and my family mostly migrated to Signal and stuff like that so that's awesome :)1 -
In the 1990s code editors on the Mac could insert the omitted function prototypes into a header file with one command; and even automatically keep the header declaration updated when you changed the source definition (name, parameters, etc)
Today in Xcode you have to copy and paste the stupid function header definition from the source code into the header file. What happens if you leave the "{" that got copied accidentally? OMFUCKING LORD, it triggers all sorts of erroneous errors in all the **source code** files where it is included instead of the header with the stray "{"
I started to question whether nor not I knew C, if gravity worked, if the sun would come up. I wasted a day of dicking around in StackOverflow trying to chase down all these insane error messages which make no sense in Xcode.
I just **happened** to see at the bottom of one of the source files, after all the erroneous error, a very important error:
"};" Expected
So I started deleting code from the bottom up in this source file, same error every time. Got to the point where the includes were all that was left.
FUCK YOU XCODE and the hacks that designed that horrendous piece of shit
Xcode is only free if your time is worth absolutely nothing.11 -
There was a computer programming teacher in my 1st semester who taught C. He used to have this conventional way of teaching C like other Engineering subjects which was going to more theories before writing actual codes.
These are the conversations with him.
(First day, a guy asks him some questions.)
Guy: Sir, why do we need to learn C? There are other languages used extensively for other tasks like python,etc. Why bother with this boring C?
Teacher: C is used to learn other languages. After learning C, you can easily learn other languages.
Guy: Sir, where is C's application? Where is it used?
Teacher: It is used in academics to lay foundation for students to learn other languages which are used to build softwares.
(Fucking Hilarious)
(A month after he was asking some questions to students.)
Teacher: What is an array? What is an array-name?
Student 1: Array, is this collection of data that can be stored in a single type.
Teacher: Then what is an array-name?
Student 1: I don't know.
Teacher: (angrily) Array-name is a definition itself.
(We were supposed to answer that. It was a standard definition.)
15 -
Read a blog post at work yesterday from the company head of IT security. Line 1:
As part of our company policy we enforce the use of usernames and passwords, known as two factor authentication. However we also need to ensure.....
Stopped listening at this point as I hit Google to confirm the definition of two factor auth.
Nope I'm not loosing my mind, the blog post is insane....1 -
"Hey Google define *word*"
>>*Definition of word*
"Hey Google define *struggle to pronounce word while sounding like I have tourette's or I'm having a stroke; get no where close to the accurate pronunciation*"
>>*Gives definition of the word I'm trying to say*
This asshat can understand me stroking out while failing miserably to pronounce a word, but when my southern accent kicks in and fucks with the pronunciation of some words, this thing can't take it? Fucking hell bruh.18 -
I'm not sure is it a container technology or a zoo...
Docker is Whale
Docker Compose is Squid
Podman is Seal
Linux is Penguin
Are we live in the Arctic?8 -
pms always tell the higher ups that I"don't have passion". I don't know how to show passion for their photoshop mock ups, one line requirements with no definition of done, their talking for hours about "leveraging" and name dropping about the top brass they are schmoozing with. I just ask if we are going to show our MVP to real users and she morphs to the bride of chuckie. I say we ought to pair program and she says it cost double to make a feature. Testing and code reviews are taking too much time but they hover over your shoulder while you try to fix a "mission critical bug" that occurs because they wanted us to skip practices that could have prevented the bug. Woo I feel better now!2
-
"For me, it means..."
For me it was not one specific meeting, but rather a series of meetings with a customer over some years.
It was like the movie "groundhog day", it was the same all over again.
We had this technical term, and our customer had his own definition of what it meant and what it's supposed to be. No need to say that his definition did not match the one the engineers and developers of the world had agreed on.
At least a dozen times, i convinced him, but as soon as the meeting ends, it's all reset and we start at zero next time with his new or old definition of what a definition should mean. Sometimes i was just sick and tired of it so i let him explain how it is while i just stared into the void. Didn't matter he told me once, it will happen again next time again, like it never happened before.1 -
Infinity is defined by the time it takes for a group of developers to reach an agreement about what is the "Definition of Done".3
-
IT dept releases update for Cisco Jabber for work environment and describes it as a minor update.
Me installs new version...
- completely new UI
- loses saved login credentials
- loses connected devices
- loses all settings
- loses history
My definition of "minor" is "slightly" different4 -
Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.
Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..
I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...
Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...
Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...
Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....
Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.
I am going to get drunk now.
X1 -
ESET Antivirus is a strange animal. On one hand, it seems reasonably well written, because unlike Norton or F-Secure, it doesn't subject your computer to death by constant disk access and 100% CPU load for 10 minutes when you start it.
On the other hand, when I clicked the link in the mail about renewing licenses and filled out the form, I was not redirected to a page where I could enter credit cart details.
Instead, I got message that some representative would get back to me in 1-2 work days. Eh, what? It's a digital product for f***'s sake. Now, I suppose they'll send me a hand written letter (written using a quill, no doubt), delivered by a bloke riding a horse and wearing a tricorn.
Well, at least ESET virus definition updates are pushed on the internet, and not sent out on 5.25" diskettes.3 -
So reviewing another companies framework, colleague came across a 'banging tween' but didn't know what it was so googled turns out a tween is a person aged 9-14, he is now likely on many police watch lists. But he asks a couple of us on a Skype chat, one guy simply copies and pastes the definition of banging, I see his source says buffet is a synonym for 'bang' so I comment without thinking much:
"Would you like a bang? I certainly wouldn't use that sentence for would you like a buffet". Then I see the CTO typing I forgot he was in the chat and start to sweat oh s£#@ what have I done well I'm a gonna.
CTO: "'Me and my wife like a bang in the kitchen' seems alright to me". - made my day. -
Definition of C++: super fast language with lots of problems.
Definition of Rust: C++ without all the problems, an awsome package manager and community made of real people!11 -
Developers, we ARE the definition of insanity. Doing the same things over and over again, expecting things to change.
-
Imposter syndrome. I’m SICK of hearing people say that they have imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome literally means that you are good at your job but you BELIEVE you are a fraud / not worthy / are going to get “found out”.
By self identifying as having imposter syndrome, then by definition that means you in fact DO NOT have imposter syndrome.
If you DID have imposter syndrome then you would just think you were bad at your job.5 -
Helped a friend who's currently learning programming in Java
Looked at the slides used to teach them and apparently the teacher explains the "static" keyword as "can be accessed from any function of the class"... Which... Isn't at all what static does
At that point they hadn't started with actual OOP stuff, so I kind of get why they didn't explain what it really does, but why the fuck did they just put down a completely wrong definition?! Instead of just saying "yeah you'll just need that keyword for now, I'll explain it later"19 -
I am planning to build a list of Gem companies.
Would crowdsource the details.
Definition: Gem companies are NOT FAANG but companies with better ethics, culture, WLB, and good salary.
Will structure it as follows:
1. Name
2. Location(s)
3. Domain
4. Website
5. Jobs page
Make this public for anyone who wants to refer. This list can be used by any job hunter to search, apply, and land a decent job.10 -
who ever this is, you're spam. first off, i've been on devRant for almost three years now, so i'm not a newbie. second, you're a bot made for the sole purpose of giving ++'s, which is like the dictionary definition of spam. i think you should be banned, and i'd like to hear dfox and other's opinion on this.
50 -
Carmack: "Hi, I am Carmack, your AI artist today. I create high definition 3D interactive world by listening to your verbal request or brain-computer interface."
User: "Hey Carmack, create me an ideal cyberpunk world."
Carmack: "World created. Here are the main resources used to synthesize your defintion of 'Cyberpunk'. Done. Is that what you want?"
User: "Hey Carmack, can you make it less similar to Coruscant, but more vintage, and more like Blade runner more like Africa, mixing super Mario galaxy. Also add a mansion similar to this link and the hot girl in this link. Make her ideal. Make the world ten times bigger than GTA V"
Carmack: "Alright, bro. The definition of "ideal" has been data driven by the norm on internet.
Done. Is this what you want?"
user: "Yes, test it in VR"
Carmack: "Enjoy."3 -
Just 2 days spend on debuging a function !
Definition:
int func (int x, int y) {
...
}
Call :
int c = func (y, x);
I checked 1000 line for debuging this :-\
Plz remember that check your function args while debuging1 -
i'd rather burn a site to the ground to preserve it in its current state than let it devolve into a place for SJWs to basically outlaw everything because they're special snowflakes. It's about breaking video games, you don't need to say "well you can't use he/she/him/her pronouns ever, you can't acknowledge binary genders, you can't say the word 'retarded' even when referring to the dictionary definition of the word (synonym of regression), you can't send PMs at all because privacy is against God, you can't say/reference God or Christianity because #NotAllReligions"
just fuck off. We break Pokemon games, we don't plot to genocide the white race because all whites are cis racist Nazi cucks like you do goddammit
;-;15 -
You know you have chosen the wrong JS library when you read a function definition like this:
validateSync(schema, options, callback) -
So we were supposed to have another good build today.
Supposed to.
This one guy on our team gets weird sometimes, and refuses to commit his shit until the last minute. He says "Don't worry, I'll handle all the merging, it'll be fine!"
What he forgets is that much of our code relies on his! His latest commits reworked a couple entry points and a class definition. No backwards compatibility.
He made his commit, and nearly our whole stack shit the bed. Jesus jumping Christ. Weekend? Nope.2 -
What I learned from devrant:
There is someone, somewhere, that will upvote the stupidest shit.
Which I find both terrifying and humorous. This is not a criticism nor a putdown. I find people fascinating. I also realize that my definition of "stupidest shit" is very subjective. This is definitely the most "fun" forum I have been on in a long time.4 -
Quick rant, I dont have time.
I have no idea how the fuck but I managed my IDE to show me that it's confused if my class "PackModel" is "PackModel" or "PackModel" (I have only one definition if you are hands first to ask).
its few years and first time when I see shit like that.
Fun fact, it was working OK until I used getter that was returning another object and than IDE got absolutely lost.
I had to use workaround in middle of nowhere as shown on image and suddenly its back fine with it. Not like it's returned by function hard typed and PHPDoc typed to return instance of this very object and in other scopes it just works...
It's Jetbrains so Im confused, it's robust IDE ;-;...
8 -
I have ADHD. If you don't know what that means, for me it makes me a better software engineer. I can't do repetitive, so my code is by definition DRY. If someone needs help, I'll notice and help because my brain can't filter out the emotion of someone struggling. I fixate on problems I don't know how to solve, I literally struggle to stop myself. The list goes on. But, at its heart, who gives a shit?
I'm a software engineer, and I'm good at what I do. Does anything else matter?17 -
My definition of hell?
Being forced to debug nested callbacks abusing global variables & closures generated from from reflection...6 -
Today was a good day.
I was told to use in-house BitBucket runners for the pipelines. Turns out, they are LinuxShellRunners and do not support docker/containers.
I found a way to set up contained, set up all the dependencies and successfully run my CI tasks using dagger.io (w/o direct access to the runner -- only through CI definition yaml and Job logs in the BitBucket console).
Turns out, my endeavour triggered some alerts for the Infra folks.
I don't care. I'm OOO today. And I hacked their runners to do what I wanted them to do (but they weren't supposed to do any of it). All that w/o access to the runners themselves.
It was a good day :)))))
Now I'll pat myself on my back and go get a nice cup of tea for my EOD :)3 -
A failed programmer!
Back in school the computer screen was my canvas, the keyboard was my brush and i filled it in with the colors of a language. Helping my fellow students debug and find the solution to their codes. Loved to do that its been 10 years thats i have programmed anything I am trying to figure out where is lost it all. Never got into a job working as programmer as in all the interviews I was asked of definition of things I could never remember but give a something to build or debug I could work it as a charm. Even though didn’t work a programmer kept on programming at home making free programs for friends or helping debug codes. But then I stopped and don’t know why and I really wanna get back into it not for others but for myself to see if i still have it, but its been so long new languages new platform and don’t know where to start. Or should I accept myself as a failed programmer!12 -
Part two of: a day off an iOS developer life:
1. App crashed and stack trace gives no info in which file it happened, I have a generic table view cell that is used in so many places and Xcode just wrote: xcell does not support key value.
2. Mac freezing when Xcode is creating IPA file thanks to a new feature in Xcode 9 (Mac freezing is the new feature, even mouse pointer doesn't move -.-)
3. Let's check the value of this class property, Xcode: fuck off and either print it in console (after hitting a break point) or expand that shitty tree at the bottom to reach your class property!
An advice: never click jump to definition when Xcode is indexing, it will either freezing Xcode or crash it.
Part 1 link: https://devrant.com/rants/1137208/...1 -
A programmer is a person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have in a way you don't understand.
-
We don't sell your personal information; hopefully, by our definition, "personal information" doesn't really mean anything. We track you on 75% of major websites and store every bit of data you generate. My takeout.google.com was 14GB large. FUCK YOU
7 -
I cannot even function right now with how angry I am. If you're a python developer, don't take offence to this unless it describes you.
All the python devs I have ever met so far are pompous arrogant cucks that can't even get out of their own way to save themselves. They make EVERYTHING so fucking complicated and complex that the whole point to a project becomes moot.
Instead of understanding HOW a thing works, their answer is ALWAYS rewrite it how THEY want it to work.
They have what we used to call "little-man" syndrome. They're so concerned that they aren't perceived as intelligent that they overcompensate by making the wildest and most fucked up changes to a project I have EVER seen.
They have gone so far as to break the original functional components of a project just to meet THEIR definition of a healthy python project.
I don't hate the language, but GOD DAMN I HATE THE DEVS.
If this describes you, fuck you. Seriously, just fuck off into whatever python hole you crawled out of and stay there.6 -
So friend told me I should make a Patreon and make it *serious*
emphasis in SERIOUS
I think his definition of serious is different from mine :3c
-
!Rant
Any skilled front enders in South Africa looking for a job in Johannesburg? My recruiters definition of qualified is "bookmarked w3schools - once".
It's a well paid job in a great work environment which approves the use of devRant. You will have complete control over design & ux. Lots of interesting things to work on we don't do 5 page sites and WordPress is a swear word.
Happy to offer a joining / relocation bonus.5 -
When I think "the fundamental problem", the closest thing that comes to my mind is "unsolvable problem". P =/!= NP is a fundamental problem, the theory of everything is a fundamental problem.
But we actually solved at least one such problem – the fundamental problem of cryptography.
The problem was "how to establish a secure connection over a non-secure channel?" Like you can't exchange the key, it'll be exposed by definition.
We solved it with a simple yet brilliant solution of asymmetrical cypher, that thing with public and private keys.
It's fascinating to think that people died in WW2 over this, there were special operations to deliver fresh deciphering keys securely and now SSH and HTTPS are no-brainers that literally everyone use.10 -
In my case, low motivation is usually caused by askholes who bitch about broken AF code, which ALWAYS turns out to be theirs, infected with their own idiocy.
Definition: ASKHOLE
- A Person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.
Pretending I'm in back-to-back meetings & general avoidance (when possible) seems to work. -
Sorry Google, you got it wrong this time ....
Oh my gosh, look at that function definition ...
Oh my gosh, look at that variable ...
Oh my gosh, look at that zone ...
Oh my gosh, look at that long ...
Oh my gosh, look at that short ...
Oh my gosh, look at that stop ... is more my style.
10 -
Used a general technical word as a name for a group project.
And that ignorant bitch googled and copy pasted the definition of that term to describe the project in documentation.2 -
So I finally came around to set up vim on my laptop so that I could finally drop VSCode, and this is what I ended up with. Any suggestions?
High definition: https://owo.whats-th.is/da58aa.png
8 -
This is textbook definition of bad design. Only 2 or 3 lines of actual content visible, and there's no way to dismiss that notice.
6 -
Heard a job position opened through a friend. Passed him my CV since we don't know his email (lol how?)
Got called for an interview + technical test. Came and they were expecting my CV. They somehow misplaced my CV (lol again how?)
Told the interviewers that I made a couple of apps for fun and informative. Tested me by doing a value switch between 2 variables without introducing a third variable. Done and dusted.
A month later, the company that interviewed me disappeared.
That's my definition of the worst interview rejection. Company pulled a Houdini without telling all of their candidates that we're rejected.14 -
When are people going to understand that programming is not about quickly putting something together?
Programming may have its utility in helping us out building solutions, but that's a secondary function of it.
Ultimately and abstractly, as MIT professors said, it's about the imperative paradigm of solving problems.
I really dislike it when people treat programming as if it were a toolbox. It is a great engineering feat. That's like saying math is just about numbers. No, it is about concepts. We're thinkers, not doers.4 -
What is the definition of an engineer?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.3 -
!dev
I just had one of the worst Uber trips ever.
The guy is literally the definition of learning on the job except that the job here is driving people and he doesn't seem to learn shit!!
He opened Google Maps on his phone but never looked at it. I was directing him all the way. He randomly stopped the car completely a few times in the middle of the fucking highway!! He doesn't look at the side mirrors, he actually tilts his head left and right to check for other cars!! I'm glad I finally got to my destination in one piece.
The funny thing is that he was ranting on how bad the road is and how unreliable the GPS is. Is that how we look when we rant about clients? xD3 -
Curious. What's your definition of a full stack developer?
Is it just about knowing all necessary languages? Does it also include various business oriented soft-skills? What about handling server and stuffs?
It is a new term I have been seeing a lot lately (especially after 2016, if I'm not wrong). Of course, I could google and look for the answers but I prefer to know devrant community edition 😀6 -
A meeting to redefine the definition of done. Which a "senior" programmer threw in.
3 hours after we are still there to "define"... All of this because this developer and a couple more want to keep a physical board which has no space for a "testing" section, so the tasks need either to be done-but-not-really and this is technically wrong (who cares?) or in-progress-but-not-really which is technically wrong (again, who cares?).
Just effin find a bigger board and don't waste 3 hours of my life and/or start thinking pragmatically and accept tasks can move backwards or have a ticket saying "testing" stuck to them, ffs!
The funny part? This dev is probably one of the grumpiest devs I met when you talk about meetings which are actually useful.4 -
Oh,I have learned a lot, I would not say from programming but from the career as a whole
Never get peer pressured
Always show empathy
If in a leading position, taking care of people is your top priority
Overconfidence will destroy a lot of good work
People by definition will always remember your mistakes
Never get over involved in the company you are working for, it's just a job
Your health is more than important
Nobody knows everything
Always be humble
There is a lot of bullshitters out there
Success is relative
Competition is high and there is always someone with better skill set, so you will suffer if you don't accept that -
Got a promotion and had a loose definition of what my new tasks were. I got overwhelmed with being the go-to for project and account managers, and 75% of our devs, on top of my own work I had to complete for clients.
Eventually I wrote up a 2 page document of things I had to deal with daily/weekly and how I don't have time to do my work, so why should I even bother to do it.
We got it resolved, my boss took some of the tasks off my plate (like training the new hires) and allows me to work from home whenever I need to finish up work.1 -
Google doesn't seem to understand. I don't want more personally targeted ads and block what goes against their definition of inappropriate advertising. I want to block some very annoying advertisers like the Chinese TEMU crap shop. So I will have to use an ad-blocker again, I guess.4
-
My second worst experience with legacy code:
JSP with inline java to create JavaScript which creates HTML on every fucking page load.
Luckily I leave that company too.4 -
So I actually got an update for my PC at work, proposing me to postpone it or to do it later. I postpone it to one hour later, since I'll be buying food for lunch, it can update and reboot.
When I came back from lunch, laptop is asking me to postpone or do the update right now. So I sigh because the laptop just stayed locked without doing anything, and ask it to do the update in 4 hours, when I'll be leaving.
2 minutes later, it forces me to update with the "30 min left before rebooting", so I sigh again, closes everything and reboot.
Since it's a Windows, it's slow on booting by definition. Plus launching Slack, Eclipse, Firefox, VLC. Takes time. Plus launching the server. +1000 files to compile then deploying.
I lost 20 minutes because of that edgy bitch called "update".3 -
Found this gem when trying to figure out what transclusion is in Angular. Didn't we all learn in like, 3rd grade not to use a form of the same word in a word's definition?
"ngTransclude
- directive in module ng
Directive that marks the insertion point for the transcluded DOM of the nearest parent directive that uses transclusion."1 -
Question: Do scientific programmers qualify as devs? If they don't, what part of the definition do they not fulfil?4
-
Whenever anyone asks me why I dislike C++ I'm just going to point to this current app I'm working. Had a unit test with an extern method declaration that had 7 or 8 different parameters. No big. Problem is that the ACTUAL definition of the method had 1 less parameter than the extern declaration. It worked perfectly fine in x86. Ported to x64, compiled fine, hard crash at runtime. Debugger not a super lot of help. Took me a couple days to figure that one out. Also I am broke so I can't even drink the pain away. Neat.
-
What retarded way of writing a json feed is this? what the fuck!
Each product in the feed is translatable, but instead of creating a new object in the feed with the translated content, there's an additional field pointing to a language code (this applies to all translateable fields).
Then each translatable field is appended the number which matches the number appended to the language field containing the desired language code.
In addition to that, the keys doesn't have any sensible meaning, but appearently they abide by som obscure "GS1 / GDSN" standard.
So for each "distinct" field I have to look up the definition of that key
If just the language code and the actual value keys was grouped together.. but no, the feed is ordered by the number after the 'D'.
Yeah for being stuck with something that looks like infinite scrolling, because one product object is fucking gigantic.
FUCKING INSANE MANIAC PIECE OF TRASH.
@#%!#€&
7 -
I've just wasted 2 hours fixing an issue with a GitLab CI YAML definition, all because of a single colon:
echo "Detected changes: compiling new locks"
I swear to god, whoever thought it is a good idea to use YAML for CI scripts should rot in hell.15 -
I specified a requirement where certain bits in a certain message shall be evaluated for certain items. The tester came up to me and talked some BS about how to guesstimate these bits by totally different bits. I said, look up the interface definition, the bits are there. Got an email, same BS. Tester was just too lazy to look it up. So I answered that message ID X has bits 60-63 for the four relevant items.
However, I carefully avoided telling him which bit was for which item so that he knew what it was, but I still forced him to look up the inter fucking face definition. -
So I've identified a key demographic that's excluded from social networks, by their very definition.
Misanthropes.
Misanthropic individuals need their own little area of the internet too.
I propose "MySpaceNowFuckOff.com" although this would probably result in a protracted legal battle. I'm open to name changes.
It would be a site for socialising with others like you, who don't actually want to socialize, where you don't get "likes" you get "disinterested acknowledgement", there isn't a share button but a "shame this idiot" button. And you don't have friends but a list of "people who haven't pissed me off... yet". -
So I just finished writing my first Code Style/Standards documentation. I guess for now it's more just for me to figure out what annoying things I want changed but wanted to get everyone's opinion and thoughts.
I think this is safe to post as nothing company specific.
https://github.com/allanx2000/...2 -
We support IE at work.
went to test page in IE, CRASH... With a freaking jquery exception, what?!?! Error was no help, debugging was pointless.
Took me 30min to find out that I can't define a variable in a JS function definition like "function doStuff(isThing = false)".... That's ES6 only...
Made sure I prevent further mistakes by setting my PHPstorm language setting to ES5.13 -
Definition of code reviews in our company:
"Part of work that requires you to scroll to the bottom of the page and click accept button. Looking the changes is optional."4 -
Working with a SOAP endpoint. I know it is some .NET server due to the style of stacktrace on exceptions. Nice, a framework where I can expect some type safety granted by static types. I build some xsl to transform the SOAP wsdl files into classes and structs to interact with the endpoint. Works out perfectly.
Plottwist!
Elements which are defined in the xsd/wsdl with maxOccur=unbounded and minOccur=0 should represent a simple collection of this type. Therefore does my implementation expect a collection of this type. But no. The shipped SOAP client in my stack ignores the definition and simply deserializes the SOAP response into T and not a collection of T.
Where the duck are the types when they are defined all over the place?2 -
One advantage of being reasonably proficient with Haskell is being able to very quickly create maintainable programs, often without needing to write extensive documentation.
One disadvantage of having Haskell as a favourite programming language is sometimes looking like a pretentious ass.
But just read the type definition and think for once, idiot. How could "Monad m => (a1 -> a2 -> a3 -> a4 -> r) -> m a1 -> m a2 -> m a3 -> m a4 -> m r" confuse even a beginner to computer programming, nonetheless Haskell?3 -
Here's the description of java.lang.NoSuchMethodError from https://developer.android.com/refer...
"...Normally, this error is caught by the compiler; this error can only occur at run time if the definition of a class has incompatibly changed."
Now, what are the chances of your app crashing on customer's device because of this, when calling an OS function, VibrationEffect.createPredefined(VibrationEffect.EFFECT_DOUBLE_CLICK)? In my case, it's 50/50. Lesson learned Google. try{}catch{} around every line of code from now on to deal with your stupidity.4 -
!dev !rant
Not working at McDonalds, I got hired to do factory work for a company i've known about for a while. Loving it way more!
side news: I'm getting into OOP with python, i definitely like the organization and ease and sense in that all. Recently learned how function definition works, so I can really get this ball rolling now! -
Every time I try to use TypeScript for something, everything I learned a month ago is deprecated. Tsconfig keeps changing. The way to get and set up definition files has changed like 5 times now. From downloading, all the way to referencing. Can we please just settle on something now?1
-
Reading OpenSource lib that write in TypeScript is a nightmare
WTF:
export function concatMap<T, I, R>(
project: (value: T, index: number) => ObservableInput<I>,
resultSelector?: (outerValue: T, innerValue: I, outerIndex: number, innerIndex: number) => R
): OperatorFunction<T, I|R> {
return mergeMap(project, resultSelector, 1);
}
That is just fucking definition, no execution code inside1 -
So after two and a half months of waiting 30-40 minutes for every build on the build server, and trying my best to start refactoring the hugeness of our main solution with limited success...
I discover that 2/3 of the build time is caused by the Get Source step deleting and getting EVERY BRANCH IN THE MAIN REPO!!!
This was taking 15-25 minutes. Every. Build.
I changed the build definition to map and cloak the repo correctly, so now the Get Source step takes less than a minute, and the whole build completes in 12-14 minutes...
Yowza! I guess that's a pretty good win to start my two week's vacation on ;-) -
So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!1
-
Sad decision. I must let everyone know that I've left and desided to take clients on my own and get paid 3X as much taking on consulting clients.i love and respect some of you, but leadership is the definition of crap and I have my own product to start working on. ✌☮☮☮☮1
-
our team are responsible to build backend restful API for other team to look up data in DB.
the consumer team just sit beside us.
the interface definition came from our pm in a different time zone. btw he did not have any programming background.
and he insisted that just build what he said and ignore the noise from the consumer team. because each interface change should be considered as new features and need him to prioritize and create user story and he will review the schema with the pm from consumer team and so called architecture who did not coding real shit for years.
we ended up with building shit code not useable by our real consumer.
yes he do manage to keep our team busy building worthless shit and accomplishmented lots of jira items to show we have value to change a useless shit into very hard to use shit1 -
Yeeah it's official, the N key in my HP keyboard just fucked up
What the solution?
Ok I'll use all the #Widgets that has no N in it's definition in my code
Just fuck that sit.7 -
If something is functional and you don’t think it’s beautiful, you should rethink your definition of beauty.
— Some moron, 201711 -
Term: Lie in
Definition: Those 2 or 3 hours extra my girlfriend sleeps while I go to Starbucks and get some work done. Currently watching web development lectures. -
My Ubuntu VM just work fine for consecutive 217 days without restarting.
Need to change some config
And... I forgot the application access key... Damnit!!!
Lucky, I kept the access key in the password manager. Whew.5 -
Visual Studio : *No definition for the method Method with the argument of type int*
Me : Oh ? *F12 on method name*
VS : public void Method(int) {...}
M : There, so it should wo--
VS : *No definition for the method Method with the argument of type int*7 -
Why do i keep forgetting the definition of important stuff when i need to explain that shit to my peers
-
Software can be "bug free" only under a very narrow definition of the term, and very specific circumstances that has little to do with the capabilities of the developers.
After all, the outside world is horribly messed up. -
An actual function definition spotted in a plugin to migrate a membership DB from a spreadsheet into Wordpress:
private function insert_member() { ... }1 -
We were building a website using angular 1. We were collaborating with some devs from outside our firm. At some point one of the devs(which was supposed to be a front end expert) had the brilliant idea to migrate to a never version of angular. He made the changes and fucked up all the controllers and functionalities and then he just disappeared. My team worked for 2 weeks to fix his mess.
Dude do you even know the definition of refactoring? 😤4 -
Does anyone know why we say "hero" for big headers in webdesign ? Where does this term come from ?3
-
PHP
It stands for PHP Hypertext Preprocessor? The definition of itself is a stack overflow?
Also, (1+1) . 2 = "22"?
Please, somebody....
10 -
Definition: Minecraft Mods
QOL improvements that introduce a grind to reduce the grind of something else.8 -
I just watched a video where a guy used a homemade band saw made of wood to make another homemade band saw made of wood. This is the very definition of recursion, amirite?3
-
CAN 👏 PEOPLE 👏 STOP 👏 ADDING 👏 `/// <reference lib="dom">` 👏 TO 👏 NODE.JS 👏 PACKAGES
It's a Node.JS package, for fuck's sake. But for SOME reason, sometimes to get around the lack of `URL` and `URLSearchParams` in @types/node, people keep including the *entire* DOM typings in their definition files/TypeScript files!
Sometimes I upgrade my deps in a Node.JS project and find that DOM typings have been added, causing errors when trying to use the global `URL`/`URLSearchParams` (I've shimmed these so that these (Node.JS versions) are in the global namespace). Then you have to search in all your dependencies for which one is including the DOM definitions.1 -
Where should starting brackets be positioned if/else and function definition in C? Same line or the next line. Have not seen pure cosmetic bullshit like this.10
-
Fuck me...
Literally spent all day trying to figure why I'm getting a 500.30 error on my application. The damn fucker won't let me get THROUGH. I know it's possible to do because I did it with another application, but this one is being a little shit.
I feel like the very definition of insane right now because I've been doing little incremental changes but getting the same results.
I just want to rip the entire thing apart.7 -
Hi Flutter developer i just finished the development of a huge package that will change your life forever.
It is about mocking an API response from a model definition OFFLINE😊
Here is the github link
https://github.com/Afrographic/...
3 -
Mini witch hunt going on with broken builds last couple of weeks. Change satellite assembly/project A, breaks random unit test that hasn’t been changed for months and the TFS nazi sends out emails demanding the “broken” projects be fixed. Doesn’t matter the unit/integration tests are likely out dated and team responsible for the tests needs to fix it.
Yesterday I deleted some logging code out of a security assembly, broke an integration test that hasn’t needed to be ran since January (test database didn’t exist anymore).
I would have had to re-create the database, re-import the test data (not trivial), re-deploy a service using the test database…blah. All because I removed some logging code.
I deleted the gated check-in TFS build definition. Code check in … no sirens …whew! I win! -
In my working floor there is a large bottle of water for waterstation. It usually ran out during the middle of the month. So I curious about the ran out situation, I got the answer from the housekeeper.
"The was not enough budget to allocate water bottle for our floor, we need to share all of them for the whole building. We only received 4 bottles for a half-month."
(It ran out 4 days from the beginning of the month)
...
EEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH2 -
So here we are again:
Today, what would be the proper definition of a "fullstack developer"? What stack is required? Feels like PHP ain't there not more...12 -
No one loves Java as much as Google and Oracle. They are willing to have a battle in court. Or maybe it is just that $9 billion 😂😂😝
But on a serious note as a former paralegal "I don't think copyright should be applied on a programming language " plus, I feel like even if it is applied... google is using java in it's own way (android) as the courts have stated that you can't copyright a language syntax or API definition. So Google can use the Java langauge syntax and core Java API freely on Android.
I don't know about you but, a lot of clients do bring up their concerns..on what the implications are for them and their company developing mobile apps!!
Any updates? Concerns? Thoughts?3 -
3 years ago when I was a university student...
I have a classroom presentation with my friend a group of 4.
When I start presenting for about 5 minutes, my friend who control the PowerPoint Slide told everyone in the group the PC was about to restart.
Suddenly before we try to move a mouse to the update postpone button, it restart right away in front of the class and our eyes.
That day a whole class need to wait around half a hour to continue the presentation session.
What a wasted time, Windows.2 -
SOAP in PHP is hell of a shit. I thought of generating code for an easier php client. Oh boy there is a SoapClient::getFunctions, a SoapClient::getTypes and a classmap option. Maybe one can script a little bit to generate class files.
After some fiddling I noticed fields missing in the classes that are present in the response. The missing fields are always defined in a parent class definition.
Google gave me this:
https://bugs.php.net/bug.php/...
What the fuck? Please? So simple to fix and 10 years later. TEN YEARS!!! Nothing.3 -
I have this habit of whenever I run up against an issue at work programming-wise (a step definition doesn’t behave the way I think it should, I have an error in the console when I attempt to do something and have to work out how to clear the error, etc.), I document the issue and the solution somewhere in the Slack.
This serves two purposes: discoverability for others who might run into that issue later and DISCOVERABILITY FOR MYSELF WHEN I INEVITABLY ENCOUNTER THE SAME ISSUE.1 -
FFS! having nodejs server on heroku, added certificate successfully for https, yet when going to www.example.com it uses http on prod and maintanence page while example.com goes to https.
All my attempts to catch http connection failed.
This is the definition of me wanting to bang my keyboard and problem autosolves itself while I am doing it!
Where is the my one click and everything is ready. I want to code back end and front end not spend 2 days trying to figure out https bullshit for unknown reason. -
woman(package) definition by Emacs:
-"browse UN*X manual pages `wo (without) man' "
-"woman is a built-in package."
Emacs, pls... :D1 -
"Just start ahead"
I am supposed to transform calls from one api to another one. Yet there's no documentation, ambiguous code statements, no examples of what values are contained -- but sure, let me just start assuming how the whole thing is supposed to work. That won't lead us more into a murky waters at all.
Even more frustrating: We own the api. We should be able to tell by the access logs how we are queried. Yet for some reason, access logs cannot be accessed and I shall "just work from the swagger defintion".
Well, that swagger definition is broken, its example are shit (somebody liked to use undefined in optional fields, making me wonder even more what the heck is going on here), and I have no idea of what I am doing. Fun times.3 -
Do technical recruiters think that developers memorize the technical definitions by heart instead of using them in a seamless way?
What do they want? A dev who knows how to memorize or the one who knows how to implement.
I am really angry and i feel so uncomfortable when they ask me about a specific question and consider it wrong when they don't receive exactly the same answer.
Like one the recruiter told me: well how are you expecting from me to accept you as a developer while you don't know the definition of "technical term".
Dude i learned the hard way by building projects, watching videos, implementation, analysis. I am not going to read 70000 pages to understand the root of a coding language.
You fuckin need the output so focus on this shit.
Damn i feel so angry. Sorry in advance2 -
Depends on the definition "without break".
Does taking a walk count as a break if I'm thinking about work during it?
Does taking a shower?
Would it be considered continuously working if I'm sleeping for a few hours every few days, but otherwise work even while eating and pooping?
So I could say I range from ~48h hours on the strictest mode to multiple weeks on the permissive one. I wouldn't recommend any of these.1 -
Well fuck!!
Sorry a big part of community sick due to GitHub merger with M$ (including Alice, Floydian, Michelle and more)
But this is fucking unbearable!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS AN ENTERPRISE DEVELOPER AND ACCELERATING THEIR USE OF GITHUB!!
HOW CAN A DEVELOPER (EVEN IF WORKING ON A PROPRIETARY SOFTWARE) BE AFFECTED BY THE MERGER!!??
I HOPE NOT THAT THIS FUCKING DEFINITION OF ENTERPRISE DEVELOPERS MEANS DEVELOPERS PAYING SHITLOAD OF MONEY TO M$.
Source: http://aka.ms/ms06042018 slide 11.
Do correct me if I'm wrong.2 -
Why do people put the asterisk in pointer types right before the name, thus having it separated from the type? This doesn't really make sense to me, since in this case it isn't a runtime operator but a part of the type definition.2
-
The purpose of AWS free tier is to trick people into attempting to stay within its completely unmarked limits. It's like trying to hunt for mushrrooms in a forest split with a hostile country based on a verbal definition of where the border lies with border control waiting to ambush tourists for ransom money.7
-
Mannn. I get the most botted responses on upwork now.
Describe your recent experience with webRTC and RTMP:
Applicant: <gives a definition of webRTC and RTMP>
🤦♂️
In this case, AI made things worse.1 -
Came across a new definition of the word "Implemented" in work today. As far as I can tell, it can be most accurately explained as:
When 1 or more people think about the feature and record a thought about it, without actually delivering anything. -
Developers making up words so they and their friends can win Scrabble... Or get foreign words into mainstream?
Pretty sure that word and definition is korean... Can find it in Webster's online...
15 -
If you want to experience the definition of hell, do iOS Development and use their only allowed IDE called "Xcode". It was made by Satan himself. You're welcome.12
-
Worst documentation experience: reading an 500+ page ISA document where the author (a so-called computer architect) kept confusing the term 'op-code,' and 'instruction.' When I asked for a consistent definition he flamed the shit out of me. My boss sided with him.
-
Got into an argument the other day over the definition of scripting languages.
He said python isn’t because it can be compiled while I said it can be both since you can you can use without compiling. Same could be said for Java when using with Selenium for automation.
Thoughts?5 -
I'm not trying to say that PHP is not consistent, but it's the only language where you can use two styles of typage in a function definition:
function myFunc(ArgType $arg) : ReturnType
{
//...
return new ReturnType($arg);
}
You must decide, PHP... Not use both... -
Seriously, FUCK initialization in parenthesis.
Because of fucked-up C++ standards I spent half an hour debugging a cryptic AST error because my method definition was apparently parsed as a member initialization.7 -
Oh china, you amuse me again...
This is from a live crane/claw game app. Who's got the most amusing and/or accurate definition of wtf this is and/or means?
I think it might look(possibly be) fucked up/suggestive... but I'm not even sure why.
Also, who wants to win an "Artistic Face Curtain"?
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Is there a definition for the feeling of fulfillment and joy that occurs, when reading through a rewrite or something overly complicated and messy legacy into a neat and tidy set of classes?1
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Fuck python Excel libraries. Had to write a spreadsheet formatting/filtering script to automate content generation. Definition of too much work. On the plus side just auto formatted 5000 spreadsheets in seconds.3
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I can't believe it.
I was going over acceptance tests with a colleague, comparing approaches.
Had a question about how he was calling a step definition.
"Can I see your cucumber"
Lord, fucking smite me from this earth.2 -
And again some "evangelists", saying certifications and training, start talking a hit about some method or practice unchained...
How the fuck people don't say the problem with borderline charlatanism...
If Scrum doesn't work it means you're not doing TRUE Scrum...
You should do TRUE TDD (the definition is so long and complex that you can fuck it up) and it'll solve your problem.
Every time is like fucking cults " you have to see the true light, then there is no possible problem... Everything will be solved".
So fucking infuriating!!2 -
most annoying "feature" in C++: the semicolon after a class definition. It just doesn't make any sense!3
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Do you think you have to go to school for that? No no no. Some definition from a book won't help you, nor a person who haven't seen the real code for some time.
Sit and write. Anything! Still nothing? Printf("Hello World"); make conditions, think big, break the shit out of it and you'll learn along the way.
And do backups of git on remote. Two at least! -
The definition of programming...
Writing your code in a controlled environment and it works perfectly, then in a real world situation it simply doesn't work.
Spend 2 hours debugging and trying to find the error only to realize you were using your custom scripting language incorrectly in the first place....
Fuck that not infuriating in the slightest :-) -
TL;DR: "Best" job is a dynamic flow, your job or your priorities will change, better to just start.
It depends on your definition of "best": do you mean the job that you think you will enjoy the most? The job that you are the most knowledgeable on? The job that you will have the most upward mobility in terms of opportunity for promotions and salary increases?
All of them at once, i suppose, but you cant have everything at once: my advice would be just start somewhere. Thinking you're going to get your dream job fresh out of college is a bad way to look at the world. The best job may be the best right now, but your priorities will change in life.
The best job today may not be the best tomorrow for a variety of reasons, but if you start somewhere, you will always have the experience generated by your existing occupation to carry you forward and propel you into your next big position. -
Meetings are by definition not productive. I don't mean that sarcastically or cynically; if I'm not at my computer actively coding, debugging, or researching then I am officially off task.
Product management and financial types can have all the meetings they want, and try to involve me as little as possible.2 -
You need to have a personal definition of success based on your own values not what is defined by society, neighbours or even your family.
Just staying in your lane will relax you and you can then function instinctively without any comparisons,living your own life to the fullest.2 -
I miss my sister :( would be nice to have a family that wasn't comprised of psycho-whore imposters or people who were probably manipulated of threatened into snubbing me or who were in reality garbage in the making that diverged from a common characteristic agreed upon definition of human.2
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The most hours I worked in a row - more or less, going by the definition of having no time to enjoy any personal activities aside from sleeping - were about ~17h.
I specifically remember this event because of the amount of hours of pointless work that generally went into that project and there was this one time when we - not only me as a technician, but also most of the engineers - had to build hundreds of complex devices in-house to meet an important customer's deadline because we had problems with a subcontractor at that time.
We did it in time, there was pizza afterwards as well as some questionable sense of achievement, so apart from a wasted weekend and sore muscles in my hands for the next days I didn't regret it all that much. So yay, I guess. -
If I kept track of all the hours wasted on issues due to overloads of functions called ToList() it would probably make up a sizable portion of the project budgets.
If I call ToList on a query object, it looks like I'm trying to serialize the query definition into some kind of array. That's what it *should* do with that name. Bonus if the object implements some generic enumerable interface, ToList makes it call your database, you can just toss the query into some json serializer that blocks while calling ToList for you, and people end up doing exactly this because the code turned out so much neater.
Because that's the thing. It's like people implement it because it's "neat" and the user shouldn't care about its internals. How many tears would be shed by just calling it ExecuteAsync? -
I saw a thing was already define on the front-end and just went ahead and assigned it to the necessary orgs
Few hours later our process for that thing failed on 3/4 instances. The last I already setup a couple weeks ago for testing. Turns out there's 2 things with really similar names on those instances so when I decided to not fucking check, the wanted thing was never defined so it couldn't process
Welp I'm messaging my boss tomorrow morning to see how bad this is, then unassigning the existing thing before defining the correct one
Fucking hell why did I not verify the definition. Would've taken less than 30 fucking seconds for all instances. Thankfully this is still technically in testing. But fuck I'm pissed at myself2 -
TIL the definition of Favela Architecture.
The blue spots are (copied) helper classes and everything is static.
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One day in a near but comfortably not too near future, I will start a webdevelopment 3-letter-abbreviation dictionary page, with self-taken photos of Belgian car license plates, and use the alphabetic part for each definition. It's insane how many PSD's, JSX's, PHP's and other technologies and file formats I've seen driving around and can no longer keep it for myself.
To qualify the tech/ format must 1) have been spotted and photographed by me and, 2) be about something related to webdev
If it doesn't take off, I can still create a unique custom CAPTCHA service with the photos :D -
Well it's Friday afternoon so nothing quite like writing up some data definition & handover docs to help wind down for the weekend.
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They need to add a new definition of Eclipse to all dictionaries.
Taking away the light and joy of development out of the process.
Synonyms: impossible, waste of time, wishing for Friday.1 -
I hate Vue framework with a passion. The only framework that can rival Vue in terms of being bad is: Apache Wicket for Java.
<template #activator="{ on, attrs }">
<v-btn
v-bind="attrs"
v-on="on"
What does this all mean? I remember seeing these 1 month ago but by now I forgot all about it again. This is nonsense; and the worst part is discoverability: there is no easy way to learn what does this mean, navigate to definition (where "on" is defined?) or something2 -
Just had the displeasure of working with knockout, how is it that a JS library can be soo fundamentally flawed that you cannot concatenate a string with a variable inside a binding definition.
All I want to do is create a css class using the value of a variable inside an itteration with a prefix, so that I can write other less bad code to get around KO's other limitation, but no, you cannot concat, why would I want to do that inside of javascript.
Useless pile of tosslet2 -
Just learned that "Updation" is a thing. Seems to be a common word in India.
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/d...
Seems logical, if you think about Deletion, Creation. But is there also a Readation? -
So I’m tryina put together a resume and I see a lot of dev résumé talking about increased revenue from x to y or user base from z to w.
What I don’t understand is while yes the user base did increase from z to w it wasn’t just you that caused it. The entire company was working hard at it to get there so why are u claiming that it was you. And apparently recruiters love these kpis that u make out of your ass.
Should I give in and just put them in there anyway?
I worked in a startup so my job didn’t really have a definition of what to be told to do and do I had to deal with building front end with vue to figuring out how to automate our deployment flow and it’s really hard to quantify my performance like sure 3000 tickets solved but u don’t know what portion of them were full blown features what portion was just a one liner.2 -
200 Stack Overflow epeen points for anyone who can fix my problem:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions... -
Swear to God I've changed the type definition of the same variable (in SSIS) three times already.
Microsoft has a worse memory than me!
Ffs. -
Checking for root is maintaining a false façade of security. By the definition of root it can always be bypassed and we should be designing workflows to discourage logging in from an untrusted device unless you have 2fa.1
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I had to generate different kinds of graphs at compiletime and had to compile a graph and write down the code size for that specific width/height in addition to one of three implementations which all need to be evaluated. I computer scienced the shit out of it!
I wrote some Rust code that easily lets me build some graphs with the dimensions passed as input parameter. Then i wrote a method that converts the graph into the definition of the graph in a C header (sadly the only way) and wrote a bash script that executes that rust code with all possible dimensions and saves the header into my source folder. Then i build the application and write the programsize into a file.
In the next step i run a python script that reads all the generated files with the sizes and created a csv file which in turn can be used by excel/numbers to visualize the dependency between depth of graph and code size 😄
I had only some hours for it all, it is messy but works 😄 -
Tips for staying productive?
What is your definition of productivity, and why does everybody seem to care about productivity?
How can we stop selling efficiency and focus on effectiveness instead?2 -
Found next to a TypeScript definition set of 16 overloads, written for all combinations of 4 bivariants.
1 -
(%{DATE})(.*)(Sent)( ID)(\[)(?<index>(.*))(])( /)(?<m>(?!m0)(?!m1)(m.*))(/)(?<t>(t.*))(/)(?<p>(p.*))(/)(?<r>(r.*))(/S\[)(?<s>(.*))(]/R\[)(?<r>(.*))(])
Heyyyy I am not a grok robot!!!6 -
A module for molecules, which take an OPEN API definition and creates a restful API and graph definitions.
So all the proxy database stuff on a rest API can be done easily inside a microservices architecture.3 -
Diesel is an incredibly beautiful ORM, but the size of the DSL means that despite Rust's state-of-the-art IDE integration I'm back to editing code, waiting for it to compile (as soon as I stop typing) and changing random shit if there are red squiggles.
The error messages are totally unreadable, all in-code references point me to meaninglessly generic abstractions, and a good portion of the impls are generated by macros so I can't even look at an actual final definition.
The confidence that if it compiles it'll run is stil there, but nothing else.11 -
I've been trying to work with net SNMP, and I can't seem to send traps to managers.
I've opened the ports, and it seems I need to edit the conf and add the appropriate trap community. I have tried that, but it just gives a warning of unknown definition. Ive tried to follow the stuff on the wiki but it just gives the same error.
Any solutions?1 -
Best: the U2 pilot's handbook, as you _wanted_ to read it.
The S370 assembler docs. Everything you needed and nothing more.
Worst: where to start? How about the defect reports produced by contemporary QAs? Maybe a screenshot, and an implied demand for telepathy. Mate, you're a mindless drone, the definition of brainless. Applying telepathy on you is pointless. -
THIS is powering the internet:
"[...] was a protocol number, similar to the third argument to socket today. Specifying this structure was the only way to specify the protocol family. Therefore, in this early system the PF_ values were used as structure tags to specify the protocol family in the sockproto structure, and the AF values were used as structure tags to specify the address family in the socket address structures. The sockproto structure is still in 44BSD (pp. 626-627 of TCPv2) but is only used internally by the kernel. The original definition had the comment "protocol family" for the sp_family member, but this has been changed to "address family" in the 4.4BSD source code. To confuse this difference between the AF_ and PF_ constants even more, the Berkeley kernel data structure that contains the value that is compared to the first argument to socket (the dom family member of the domain structure, p. 187 of TCPv2) has the comment that it contains an AF_ value. But some of the domain structures within the kernel are initialized to the corresponding AF value (p. 192 of TCPv2) while others are initialized to the PF value." Richard Stevens 'Unix network programming' -
Storytime - The Prometheus tales - Part III (I think..).
Updated the node definitions on the old node today, just to keep it up to date. nothing fancy.
I went to the new node and and checked the setup again. I already had roughly 120 node definitions onboard for testing purposes.
so all firewalls should have been configured the right way, so that the wee one might celebrate the marriage with the rest of the gang finally.. and then went with "puppet YOLO" on the new node. added every fkn node definition to the new setup.
every node turned out just to be fine.
except for 137 little InstanceDown alerts (out of 600+).
it's a good thing, that the little fella can send mails to me, myself and I only for the time being.
so debugging. again. but at least it's not a problem related to prometheus itself, because the connections end with a timeout on the related nodes. should be more like a firewall fubar.
we will see.5 -
Dynamic/Dynamically is used WAY to much in programming. What part of programming is NOT dynamic?
https://dictionary.com/browse/...
Depending upon your interpretation of the definition it can just mean: moving parts. Programming is all about moving parts.
I see things like "dynamically allocated array". Wtf does that even mean? (I get it, most likely means on heap) Say it specifically: it was allocated on the stack or the heap.
Apparently some people are just more energetic in their programming...
It becoming a really overused buzzword...8 -
The tragedy of my life has been I grew up in the sane real world not knowing it was insane and that the inmates thus interred in the asylum they embraced used the real
World to cover their perversity and inhumanity. When they had less freaks all around and more normal people to mimic they mimicked ordinary people better and I not knowing what they were, made explanations that seemed more reasonable than the truth for their strange behavior. And behind the scenes they were lying and taking advantage of a man who only wanted to live and have the things that seemed reasonable: a home, a companion, and some set of interests to follow when not working. Maybe some ambition in there as well but it’s evident that only the most evil people truly thrive and then only a small subsection of them. And now I wander back through looking at what amounts to moving museum pieces of trash all standing in the same places telling the same lies and in some cases so inane and stupid they think this benefits them. That the destruction of all the light in the world availed them somehow. Definition of pathetic.2 -
apparently the definition of maturity amongst these ruined creatures is being miserable and having soul destroying regrets.
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The one meeting that will come next...
That will be by definition the worst and the best...
Because it will be the first one. -
Can someone help me with finding a good acronym definition for SPAM?
Ideas:
Super Pissed About Mail
Stupid People A? Mail
?19 -
Worst / best feature of any language:
Lack of / requirement of strict / dynamic / weak / strong typing. Just typing. Typing typing typing just typing.
Having to specify the type in C/++/#, Java/Kotlin is so annoying and delays the project so much by having to do declare weird classes with 3 or 4 fields just because you need it in this tiny line of code.
Not having good type support in JavaScript and Python is a pain in the eyes when you can't find what type each variable is, or when you pass a wrong argument to a function, and when you do, it shows the definition for the type in a .ty or.pyi file and not the definition itself which you have to find elsewhere. Spent half of my uni exams trying to decipher the type while it could've been a piece of cake if you just knew the type.
Love / hate relationship 😝1 -
Our HR in the company did not send any newcomers to our Team and we are waiting for a whole year...
The work was not overloaded but the development progress are slowing down
Even I have been relocated from Team A to Team B after 6 months in Team A... They never came for both -
Infinite loop definition: when you post on devRant the stickers you received from devRant and you get upvotes, so you can request more swag from devRant that you then post again on devRant.
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