So, I'm the only iOS developer in the company working on this stupid app which is never going to succeed because the client idea is just plain stupid. Anyway, 6 months developing this crap, countless iterations, trillions of so-called retard "features", and now that we are almost there to go into production my PM decides it's a great moment to document every aspect of what was done and asks me to do it. Now I have 3 documents to write and around 80 bugs to review before Friday. Stupid me for thinking he didn't waste 6 months doing absolutely nothing while I was working 12 hrs a day to meet deadlines.

git push -f master

Worst documentation? Easy choice: PayPal

Someone just offered me a position at Microsoft. Had to decline it, I'm not desperate enough to use Windows again.

A client once asked me if he would have to adjust the Google maps internal gyroscope monthly or every quarter. I told him it was a good practice to do it every two months or so.

The moment the product owner we were working with almost had a seizure.

Ps: Sadly, he's still alive and continues being a dick 😑

Happy birthday to me! Spending the first few minutes of it in here (I need a life xD)

I'm proud to announce that my work laptop has been officially devRanted!!!

Ps: Boss going to kill me, but fuck him anyway!

I guess it was right when I discovered there was an API to open and close the CD tray #vb6

"I'll not sign off this project unless you promise me that the app will NOT GET WET WHEN YOU UPLOAD IT TO THE CLOUD" (was a desk application... I left the company that same day and promised myself I'll never get back)

Last year a random company hired me to develop an Angular app. One of the main requirements was that it needed to be compatible with IE6 cus thats what they were using internally... I accepted the offer...

Let's build a house with no blueprint, no idea how it should look but have daily meetings about the bathroom... #Scrum

Random guy at work pushed this to production today...

var i = 0;
do { // DO NOT DELETE THIS! }
while (i < 1);
....
doImportantThing();

And my boss keeps saying code reviews are overrated, lol.