*happily tapping along on my projects while commuting*

Some random kid appears, overly interested in what I'm writing, so I let him look.

Then he goes *snort* do you know why Java threw c out?

No.

*giggles* because c told Java to stop treating women like and objects.

Well, treating them like primitives is no good either.

*kid walks away*
Then I hear: mom. That man ruined my joke, he said treating women like primitives is no good.

I love this kind of changelog.

When you watch LotR as a geek xD

My new sweatshirt. When maths loves LOTR

When you see a semi bald man with a messy beard, bit too much belly, a dead look in the eyes that carries a pc bag.

And your first thought is "oh, a sys admin" x)

What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte!

You've probably already heard this one but if not and your a LoTR fan, your welcome.

Note: 40% of the time this works all the time as a pickup line.

So.. Oneplus "forgot" to strip Qualcomm.EngineerMode from release build...

Noticed friends smartphone was unlocked & Felt like pulling a prank, so I installed edge and set it as default.

Never did I realize how much I take it for granted.. Until it suddenly stopped working.

R.I.P space bar.

Now I have a legit reason to be on devRant at work.

Proud dev moment : as I was following the variable naming conventions from my company, I got to name a variable "l_o_tr" 💪

when you wake up saturday noon just to see your phone having 10 missed calls from the same unrecognized number, dial back and find it to be a mad client,
complaining about some graphic issues on a site you have nothing to do with.

checking the site; there is nothing wrong so you tell him to clear his browser cache.

he gets mad shouting a silly programmer shall not tell him what to do with his computer and its the site, not his browser.

i ask him if there is the same issue with another browser or computer..
he giggles a little then turn silent..

2mins or so later, he says: i'm gonna let your boss know about this then hangs up..

Worst of 2020?

Well, I've learnt never to do free / voluntary work.

Been spending many weekends helping out a former friend, mostlyby creating APIs, sites, managing servers & scripting.

Now that I have a girlfriend, my weekends are spent mostly with her.

He got really mad, said he doesn't want to waste time.

Then went to *pay* someone else to continue what I've been doing...

What manner of imbecile writes a password reset function that passes the email and password as god damn query parameters, in the email link....

Did you know..

There is an Easter egg in the Unix man command, if you call it at exactly 30 mins over midnight.

Then it prints "gimme gimme gimme"; (all night long)..

Trying to explain my wifi network name to every new guest.

#dotamuch 😋

"Hi, our client is looking for a dot net developer, and we think you'll be a good fit."
- you got the wrong person i believe.
"you list laravel & phalcon.. Those are .net?"

I'm not sure what to say here, a recruiter whom doesn't see my employed tag & doesn't know how to Google..

Laravel & phalcon is .net.. Aaallrighty then.

Dad?.. what is a super hero?
- it's an hero amongst heroes. oftentimes ordinary heroes inherit traits from super.
It's basic inheritance, son.

I was about 17 years old had tried wood & metal craftsmanship but never liked it, so I spoke with a counsellor and mentioned I like computers as I play a lot of games.

That counsellor laughed at me ( a shut in that rarely says anything ) and told me I'm too stupid..

Since then, I have scored almost pure top grades without any particular job goal.
But eventually met a good friend who wanted to be a Web developer, so I simply followed the same path and kept on reaping top grades lol.. :)

As Ana says in overwatch, "Never stop fighting for what you believe in."

A present from the boss, isn't she adorable

Really just an average week.
Just feel I need a bit of venting. (:

@meet: (monday)
- mgr: we need video transcoding and VOD ASAP.
- dev: on what server? It's expensive, especially without a GPU.
- mgr: prod is beefy. Put it there.
- dev: everything else is gonna crawl then.
- mgr: you have till the end of this week.

@demo (Friday)
- dev: k, it's ready.
- mgr: Why is everything slow??!
- dev: transcoding. Expensive.
- mgr: Why do we transcode? Never said I wanted transcode!
Can't we upload to YT?
- dev: ...yes. But will then each customer that wants VOD will need to setup YT studio and provide an endpoint and stream key.
- mgr: OK. But we're now behind schedule because of this and the customers will not be pleased.
- dev: oh, didn't know we're into gaming.
- mgr: ???
- dev: nvm, see you Monday.

...
Later Friday evening
...
*ding* mgr has added 5 new tasks to your list.
*ding* mgr subtracted 30 points from you.
reason: deadline over due.

Ya ya, the usual shenanigans.
Time to mute for the weekend.

Yesterday I got to the point where all changes that customer support and backend asked for were set, and i could start rebuilding the old models from their very base with the changes and the new, disjoint data the company expansion brought.

So making the start of our main script and the first commit, only having that, had high importance... At least to me.

"last Christmas, I gave Yamaha but the very next day, you gave it Huawei"...

When you come home, boot your pc and see this...

Mmmh k. Guess no gaming tonight xD

Hmm. when you prove to be more knowledgable than the programmer that was pulled in, to interview you and he starts to go totally defensive and return spiteful responses
( like, what does a rookie like you know? i bet you never had an actual job )
when you calmly asks if any standard like PSR-2 is expected, if there are any preferred frameworks and what version control is used...

well, that went well..
Didn't get that internship..

Time to make my laptop pretty.. Again.

One sentence to fail almost any coder or related job interview:
"my code is so good, sometimes even I can't comprehend it."

<<< prank victim today.

Swapped font so it would not display special characters and changed characters in my unit tests here and there...

Took me 40mins with headphones on, before the thought that I'm not at fault occurred...

Once you forget to lock your machine when going lunch..

Don't we all just love that guy, that loudly talks about Linux and is almost zealous about it but when questioned about simply stuff, like basic *nix commands and shell scripting, looks like he just arrived from space... :D

I wonder if it's legal to intercept and redirect a drone hovering around your private property..

What do I say to tests that are running against buggy code, you ask?

Seriously.. Getting job apps rejected because I'm over qualified for the job.

Well, if I wasn't interested In the job and staying if hired, then I wouldn't have had written a tailored application..

Seems nyctophilia is quite common amongst devs.

Not a Rant but a question..

How would you deal with a client that has a crush on you, when you're not interested at all?

A present from the office, a "magic" mug..

How sweet.

Anybody have the bad habits of biting nails down and sometimes tearing the skin off finger-tips just because licking the blood is somehow calming?

If so, how do you combat it?

@lunch conversation today..
Q: "if you were to write this world in a virtual environment, what would be the first thing you would define? "
A:" define Vegas as a closure with no return declared.
Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. "

Test the same thing, in multiple places.

When you run your test suite with 320 assertions in 64 tests and it all passes..

Something is very wrong somewhere x)

If an ai becomes depressed, does it encapsulate itself for better \Closure?

*insert thinking dinosaur*

The LOTR soundtrack & full screen notepad++.

Hmm, I find it highly peculiar that I let a friend borrow my pc to watch stranger things on Netflix, with her account.

I signed her into the guest account, she picked Google Chrome (not signed in).

Now my Facebook feed and YouTube adds are all about stranger things..

I get the ip gets logged & mapped.. But srsly.

Fucking apple & Mac OS..

So.. Before high sierra, you could create a USB using boot camp.
All good & dandy without too much fuss.

No longer. instead it automatically mounts & copies the os onto a apfs partition(?) and without as much as a mention or warning it just reboots immediately when it's done.

Srsly, not even a silly "hey, we need to reboot"..

Now, I could probably have gone to diskutil, formatted, set the boot flags and copied the files..
But rly, Nvm that.
Besides I might actually find some use in a windows install.

So needing to install windows to create an USB is acceptable.

But Bloody hell, it's been a while since I've been in this triggered from something..

T_T no warnings, just force reboot into windows.

This commit message just made my day..
"keep on rolling babeh, iiit's squatting time!!"

!dev

Got me a new mouse pad since the only one I had was branded with my last jobs logo. Mordor is right where I usually rest my hand so it will eventually get dirtier and therefore more evil.

Who doesn't love emoji in their commit messages ;)

Working out regularly.

It's a nice break and it wakens my mind and body.

And it eliminate tension headaches

when you're at a job interview, the interviewer shows you some code to give you a taste and the first thing that comes to mind is, "how long is it gonna take to refactor and is it worth it..."

then proceeds on to show a database diagram and its an unholy cluttered spaghetti soup that even a purple octopus would feel a cold shiver from..

then the interviewer mentions the previous dev left suddenly and the deadline is very soon(TM?)..

Teenagers are like UDP packets...

you never really know when you might get one, but when you do, they most certainly dont care.

when you have one of those days where your mind constantly blanks out and your ability to focus is null...

My definition of hell?
Being forced to debug nested callbacks abusing global variables & closures generated from from reflection...

Here's something not quite a rant, but relatable. And an issue. For me at least.

------

You get really proficient with a set of tools.
- Can solve things in an efficient & elegant manor.
But it's now boring.

You find some new exciting stack, research like a madman. Possessed.
Your perfectionist self, seldom doesn't want to settle.
You burn out from pressure & deadlines.
You feel inadequate, imposter syndrome settles in.

You reminisce of the easy days when you (thought) knew everything.

Decide to rebuild using that past stack.

Gets bored.

You notice something new & exciting.. loop iterates to next repetition.

Wanna know how to piss off an entire dev team?

Agree that progressive isn't good enough, must be native.
And supporting ie7 & 8 won't take much extra time or effort...

What's the deal with some devs, that genuinely know their stuff and can answer almost everything off the top of their head, yet they seem unable to apply their knowledge when it comes to actually using it.

Kinda like being ace at theory but shite in practice.

Built a whole test suite around our Laravel app which has been pointed out to exec as slowing down CI and yielding no value to the user.

Arguing it’s ensuring something our users is using doesn’t accidentally break just gets brushed off as incompetence.

Oh well, I’ll just skip tests in CI and continue writing and running tests on my own as I don’t feel confident just cowboy fixing things.

Don't know what the exact deal with Microsoft's Edgy Explorer but ffs, everytime I open it to check how something is rendered it prompts to be default then gets salty when declined and pops the control panel, suggesting it as default...

Guest user by having all non authenticated sessions automatically assigned to user ID 0.

Let's just say.. it's not fun having all guests be able to view each others purchases and invoices.

So we ended up just always returning empty everywhere for user 0

"the complex solution is always best.
until you find a simpler one"

- i don't remember.

when youre working on a API and every testCase is all green plus manual testing thru Postman extension is all good..

then makes a web app use that API, authorization works as intended but the token is immedially invalid...

just..how..

Forgot headphones, noticed coworkers conversation...

If null coalescing operator (??) returns right on null, why doesn't !! Do the opposite?

- boolean beat ya to it.

Rust is so modern, Google has future posts about it ;)

Back to the future, I guess..🚀

Saw @Linuxxx sad cuz his name was not among @BroCow porn tags.
So I figured I'd rant to include his name with triple xxx in rant.

Oh on a side node..
How's things going, @Ashkin?
Bad Trifecta still got ye down? :/..

what are the odds of walking with a cup of coffe and a drop falls off right into your pocket of your cowboy jeans and wets a bunch of the money you have in your wallet..

The moment when you have crafted a beautiful, flexible and well structured package.
Everything including the automated tests are flawless..

but you cant help but feel like something, somewhere is horrible wrong... :D

When you spend hours debugging why something doesn't compile and it turns out, it was because the extension was with a capital first letter...

Narrow my skillset down to a few masteries.
Gotta stop being jack of all techs 🤣

Be less harsh and judgemental towards myself.

I feel like a lot of devs, last years self included.

Need to realize, a great Dev is not necessarily one that Ace in code.

But rather one that can convey and understand the problems they're to solve and more importantly the perspective of the end user.

The IDE mode is dark, and the code is full of errors.

first off, i think this may be out of scope but either way.

i think along the rants, a tag seperated section for programmer tips could be pretty neat :)

i'll start off, my tip of today would be: if it seems too complex, it probably is.
consider refactoring by splitting into multiple smaller parts or even its own seperate API. :)

Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?

Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.

When a PM or other self proclaimed demi god decides to tap the shoulder of the programmers with headphones on just to look just above their head and say "oh, i see. a programmers thoughts do throw a nullPointerException when disrupted"

Brining the funny by letting my selfie speak by itself. :)

Happy holidays.

Friend: "what is it, you love so much about being a developer?"
Me: "The feeling & satisfaction of writing something better & prettier than my past self."
Friend: "Oh. You sound like a Manga writer, I understand about as much about their mind as yours.."
Me: "Yeaah.. Can't argue there.. Can I? *chuckles*"

... I really truly hate with a passion..
when you've agreed on one solution and when it's done, but not approved and deployed..

suddenly decides "oh it needs, x-y-z that I said it won't need"..

Mind you, that x-y-z things mean rewriting a lot of it...

Oh well, at least I get paid for the extra hours to be spent.

Same as when I go gym..
Deep breaths to get calm,
focus mind on clarity & stillness
then visualize, map & draw out exactly what I'm going to do and how I'm gonna go about it.
Finally, execute.

how i declare Coding session of the day to be over : when i see an error about an error that is not an error... :D

(hint: fatal: validation failed but when asked if it passed, returns true... )

Unity is the best UI ever! It rocks the UX world.
Windows 10 with unity interface would be purrfect.

Tl;dr was told I couldn't and found I like programming. :)

Went to some school for testing out different industries but didn't have any goal nor found anything I was really interested in..
So i was tested for qualifications and told I was too stupid to be in IT..
So I decided to prove them wrong, went for an it supporter ground course and aced it with top grades + extra courses..
But still had no goals or dreams.
On that education, I met a friend who wanted to be a web programmer, so I decided to walk that path and aced another education with top grades..
Then I found, that I actually sorta enjoy programming and doesn't get bored quickly so then, I decided to plant my flag and become a programmer :)

When you're on GitHub *Free* and your account gets disabled cuz they're unable to charge your card..

Well. I've postponed switching to GitLab long enough.

c'est la vie.. i guess.

What's That dread & shameful feeling when you get praised for some shit you know is awful called..?

... when you as an internee with limited access, gets your early off friday ruined by a flooding attack and one of the clients on that server somehow has your number..

Fastforwarded a bit, I have LOTR marathon to catch later.. 😋

May your bugs diminish, coworkers grow brains & clients calm the fuck down!!
Happy, better & successful 2018 everyone!!
🍦

*sigh*.
back from lunch break, to find my dualboot with Windows 10 & openSUSE uefi having automatically rebooted due to some updates,

and see a busy box message, because secure boot somehow was suddenly enabled (guess the w update)..
good thing i always bring a usb pen with multiple system tools and live distros...

heh, so a java dev asked a php dev, whats your grestest weakness, and the php dev replied: over engineering things, but who am i to say that...

the java dev got a weird expression on .. :D

More of a statement but interpret it as a question and answered why it is.

"performance on Linux sucks, my (exe) repack ran much better on Windows also my remote desktop can't connect"

Def not dev oriented.

I am a huge fan of trading card games. It started with Yu Gi Oh, moved on to Magic, even tried, LoTR when it was a thing, tried algo Star Wars the original CCG (loved it), Duel Masters (when it was still in the U.S) Pokemon (of fucking course) and other more uncommon ones like Cardfight Vanguard, tried latino only games (Mitos y leyendas, Myths & Legends, this one is king on my list) and Flesh & Blood. But as a mexican kid, I was always a fan of fucking dragon ball, like most mexican kids.

SO I bought some cards from the newest game expansion. the owner of the TCG/anime store told me that if I was willing to play that I should hang out on tuesdays.
So, learning the rules of the game, and wanting to play with other people, I went there on a tuesday.
The MTG people were there fighting amongst themselves for some reason. the Pokemon people were there also, just opening packs without playing. A rather large table was there with a bunch of people playing a game that I did not recognize. And then there was me. I was chilling on my phone thinking that the DB dudes would show up eventually. nothing, so I just sat there waiting.
Suddenly a dude comes to the large table and starts pairing people for a "tournament" and once they are all sited he notices that 1 is missing, he walks up to me holding a store app and asks me "sorry bro, are you here to play with us by any chance?" to which I say "I do not think so, I came here for DB but I don't know what you guys are playing"
The dude looks down on his app, somehow actually sad and says "man I do play DB, but I don't think I have my cards with me, maybe, let me see" and he goes on to see if he brought something.

This was green flag n 1. the dude wanted to just play something with someone. And was doing something to not LEAVE someone behind. then quick as hell another says "well, why don't we give him a deck and he can play with us! we can teach him!" and I say "well what are you lads playing?" and he says "digimon man you like the anime? a new release came about! it's sick man it would be awesome if you play!"

Second green flag, another member of that community was happy for the idea of increasing the membership and actively did something to increase the population.

So, I hanged out with them. Close knit group, all friends from a long time, but willing to take an unfamiliar (and rather handsome) face with them.

My face when (MFW) the DB dudes where not there, so the digimon group adopted me.

I know have over.....2000 cards, most of them were gifted to me by them after they saw my chops and tough me how to play, by graciously lending me their decks.

This my lads, is what humanity is about. We got close fast, it has been 2 weeks of just chilling with them at the game lounge, just nice people, all of them really. Not a single angry moment or anything, you pull a crazy combo on them and they legit sheeeeeeeesh and applaud them, they don't care about loosing, they just want to have a good time, and this, this is a good crowd to be at.

Strive to make people feel welcomed. Being nice to others, taking a chance on people you deem to be ok, is fine really. It is rather cool. Anyone can be a salty asshole, but it takes a real king to be nice to others just for the sake of having a good time.

These dudes, they are gold. And I finally have something to take my mind away from work and other things that increase my anxiety and stress. I would much rather be there shooting the shit with the lads and playing games than at home, drinking the night away to relieve stress.

Kings

that moment, when you want to reply to a rant and find it deleted..

What's some valuable things you've learned this year?

I'll start.
Always ask myself, if I can elaborate on any given statement, otherwise just keep shut.

Always ask yourself before writing any code, if it's gonna be easy to modify later on, if not, take a step back and evaluate the bigger picture.

Don't bother with writing things clean in the first go.
It'll be much easier to refactor later on and take less total time.

One of my hardest hurdles, is to write something that's just good enough.

And not waste hours making it an inch closer to perfect..

Writing half baked but functional solutions haunts me...

What really grind my gears?

People telling you to get ”a real job", because they can make a website with WordPress without needing any education or scam-diploma(read: proof of education)...

You know those Jolly go lucky fucking always happy and usually slightly retarded ppl?
Yeah those, try having one of them thinking you're a free tech hotline..

My head hurts from all that brightness and stupidity that person emits -_-

Just needing to vent a bit...

We start off with classic asp.net & Xamarin. K.

Then we run into the shitshow that's lackluster documentation and heavy push for asp.net core.
Whatever, will just handroll things.

K. Azure is quickly turning expensive..
Well let's find alternatives.

Yeah, no Linux ain't gonna work.
Wanna shell out for a windows server? Nah.
K. Well, let's rewrite in asp.net core then.
Nginx proxy passthrough to kestrel. Ez.

Now.. wtf is the deal with mssql behaving like a turd on Linux?
Oh now some security jibber about telemetry and adding Microsoft keys to root.

Whatever. I can do PHP & MariaDB then.

1001 things wrong about Xamarin now.
Mostly performance related.
Especially cuz custom renderers for everything.
& Abused onPropertyChanged.

Uh la la, look at that sexy thing called react native.
Hippytyhop new tool for the job.

Ugh wee, what's this ? Customer impatient & deadline for months worth in Xamarin => 1 week.

Whelp I be fudge..

Caffeine is crucial but I’m trying to moderate it! What good does it do if you have to drink 5 cups of coffee everyday to feel normal! I drink coffee like Hobbits eat! Breakfast coffee, second breakfast coffee, elevensies coffee, lunch coffee, onesies coffee...

Seeing quite a few people post ("bump") just to subscribe to a rant.
would be a neat feature to have a subscribe to rant checkbox :)

Proactively seeking out new knowledge: mostly podcasts and watching what's new on github.

keeping an open mind: just because some pattern is industry proven doesn't mean its necessarily the better,

Testing: write a test describing a problem then trying to write slightly different solutions (eg. One that leverages service location, another that emphasize dependency injection..),

Forced & timed breaks: keep hydrated, don't get stuck "spinning the wheel".. :)

How many here have friends that are like
Friend:"hey, heard so much good about Linux, can you install it for me?"
Me:"sure. What do you intend to use it for? "
Friend:"Facebook. Mostly Facebook. And some Instagram."
Me:"mmm k. I'd like to show case a bunch a distros and you pick your favourite."

One week later.
Friend:"OMG Linux sucks, I bought {game} but it cannot install..."

Lesson learned?
Remember to ask about likely headache candidates (like games), before doing one such "favor"

Start with the simple things first then progress gradually.
Though I highly suggest learning unit testing as soon as possible.

Probably those methods & functions that swap between haystack and needle as they see fit..

Wk88 i basically see "I'm a beta that belittles myself, because everybody else seems to be so much better than me.."

While I certainly know how it feels, that mantra & mindset will lead to void or null.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and life's a bitch that'll keep ya down if you let it.

It's gonna be rough, but ye gotta stop calling yourself inadequate and start working on honing your skills.

No great feat happens over night, it takes practice and dedication.

fellow dev thought he was being clever, hiding his private ssh keys inside image files on a public web server...

Today's BSD fortune scared the shit out of me.

"panic: kernal segmentation violation. Core dumped
(only kidding)"

One thing that slightly triggers me..

When people start a sentence with question and/or exclamation mark..

"!? Are you fucking kidding me??"

Having a tendency to interpret it as a statement rarely works out well...

Making an efficient design foe large scale is way harder than what meets the eye.

Especially when legacy support is involved.

Trying to explain a game developer in a community, why its a bad idea to only make client side patches for equiptment to appear correctly..

me: because the server needs to be aware of the changes made to avoid faulty calculations, for instance if the client calculates a fatal but the server disagree..

dev: but it works...
me: yes, but not optimally.
dev: Working as intended (TM)
me: ... teh fuq?

not sure if he's a bad troll or wut..

Is there anything nicer than having home office Friday and meeting up Monday only to discover that you were excluded from a meeting that Friday and they decided on a bunch of things that invalidates a lot of your past weeks work, making it top priority to resolve and now exceeding deadlines…

when i was still studying "web integrator", didnt know shit about programming and just went there to be with a friend.
I quickly got bored, sick and tired of it all being procedural style so i decided there must be something better...
i spend loads of time but eventually developed my own almost fully fledged oop framework, minus polymorphic relationship support, events( i was on the way to that but called it messageBus ),
implicit route bindings
and the routing was based on reflection of controller methods following rest naming.
also i hadnt discovered composer, yet.

by the time i discovered composers, i also discovered laravel, which is my now prefered framework.. :)

If you discovered a vulnerability affecting multiple of the big dogs, would file a cve and report it immediately or have some *fun* first?

when you just had to drink that Kate coffee to get that last bit done and commited but as a result is completely unable to sleep.. ends up in a train of thoughs with a hint of philosophy... weep woop before you know it, your night sent Warp speed to bright outside..

finally i feel tired.. fml.

Nazgul devs: tested it thoroughly, sir. It's mankind-proof. Safe for unleashing in warfare

QA testers: I'm about to end this wraith's whole career

When your family v. 1.0 is very busy trying to enforce their outdated perspective regarding finding a compatible female of the human race for the purpose of tightly coupling by mutual contract and with hindsight of multiplication of inherited DNA sequence and genomes...

How the heck does nvram magically forget your boot entries while your system is up...

Worst reboot of windows I've experienced in a long time, ugh.

The boot/*.efi files are still present but no entries in the menu...

Friday, forced deploy day for last & current months work. Been stockpiled due to holiday.

Yesterday boss demoed the product to clients so they expect to test today.

Early o'fuck this morning, a coworker managed to drop all secrets and env vars from CI pipelines and trigger a deploy leaving production broken...

It's gonna be a long and busy Friday...

Am I the only one that keeps mistyping & mispronouncing Magneto when I mean Magento?

Can't count how many times I've scratched my head because I got search results pointing at Sabayon Linux's wiki when enquiring about it...

Seeing as quite a few people here use Macs, I wonder.. How many have tried Hackintosh? Kinda curious about projects like iAtkos but don't feel like donating nor replacing my gtx 1080 for the purpose..

Not that I would want to build a "cheapskate" Mac workstation but rather for educational purposes.. :)

If I had a penny for everytime I've heard "you devs are a funny bunch."
...

"never call anything 'ng'.. One day it won't be."
- Michael W. Lucas @ BSD Now 197 at ~26:40 mark.

Cognitive overload: the silent slayer of developers.

Especially when you're bad at assessing your own capabilities and choose to sacrifice sleep without concern for taking actual time to enjoy the silence and tranquility of.. nothing.

Sometimes it's pretty hard to not go mad when those old gods whisper your demise.

When I was studying web integrator.
At first I didn't even know html, yet alone what a php tag or extension meant.

I quickly caught onto it though and started to grasp that the procedural stuff they taught was really outdated.

So I researched intensely and eventually whipped up my very own php framework.
- if you're interested, it lives on github.com:sasin91/php-framework

Obviously it's a pile of fungal infested dung.

but ey, I was light years ahead of the rest of the class.
Besides, we all gotta stackoverflow somewhere :)

My worst habit(?) is probably loving to "waste" time, making api uri builders.
so I can chain a couple of methods instead of just typing out an uri :p

Made a mysql innodb database go do a fancy shuffle like schrödingers cat, with many tables appearing as "ghosts", in production.

still not sure what went wrong.
i noted it was extremely slow and thought restarting the service might Help it...

when a dev with absolutely no knowledge of the systems or whatsoever, tells a client "sure, easy. we can get your password if you forget" and that client then comes to you and doesnt understand he has to use the recovery function because its encrypted using a slow oneway hash...

needless to say, that dev thought passwords were stored in cleartext..

Lesson learned today :

Don't get lazy and muscle monkey hanging out your laundry..

Like your code, you'll eventually regret monkeying it.

what is that annoying little bug in my brain that triggers those annoying Chemicals which makes sleeping at night even after being awake for 27 hours, so goddamn hard?

protocol nature's spec describe the natural and optimal daily rhytm as sleeping 8 hours each night, so why is obeying the defaults so goddamn troubling?!

What would your response be, if somebody out of nowhere gave you a fly swatter and told you to get debugging..

Typo3.

Especially when it comes to debugging third party (usually outsourced) plugins and implantations..
It's daz vile wild west over there, you never know where something is defined, but more often that not, some obscure TypoScript file.

Never have i been so grateful for xdebug & grep / awk combined with regular expressions..

Thank you for FlexGate, Apple.
And by extension, Louis Rossmann.
For ranting about it.

My GFs MacBook Air suffers from it and the support program doesn't want to cover it.
That has made her open to try new options.

I'm pretty sure she's now hooked on Elementary OS. 🎉
The real test comes when she brings it to school tho. :)

Why are some people too lazy to write commit messages and just amend onto eg. A merge...

Not to sound self centric, but a cyborg clone of myself with close to but not fully true consciousness.

Would always have something to talk about and would probably be a great pair programming partner as we'd be almost in sync and on same wavelengths ;p

If you write a solution to something at work, then the company most likely holds ownership with whatever license they have.

However if you rewrite that solution in your spare time, into a package that solves the same problem but different then replace (with permission to) the original implementation with the new one..

Can said company then claim ownership on your package?

that moment when a fellow dev asks you a web dev ( PHP ) for help and you see
... -03 -0fast & funroll fruity loops ...
im not surprised that Gentoo box died ...

Talk about giving me a headache..
Mmh k, so i want to move my current domain to cloudflare.

Go to current provider, their site report a previous provider has the record but that provider says they have nothing left.

Great.
Contact current provider and they tell me to contact cloudflare, cloudflare tells me to resolve that issue with my previous provider....

Starting to feel like just dropping it and getting a new ...

I have a ton.
This one is more about my own foolhardiness, but I also learned a ton and came out stronger & wiser.

when I started out as a dev (my very first job!) and had not learned to say no.
I was a novice way out of my playground.

Like lifting a full booking platform from legacy php to Laravel & launching it like yesterday because it’s high season.
Didn’t know the full domain, so I just built something quite different in a week and shafted the existing db into it.

Obviously wasn’t feature complete or anything, so it resulted in maintaining legacy while building the new one and because it was already live and on different domains, we didn’t fully know which ppl went to, I had to every day painstakingly back port data from both platforms.
What I initially thought would take a few weeks that was launched in 3 days, spanned across 2 years plus one year refining and cleaning up my mess.

Anybody else that low-key hates step debugging async code in nodejs ?

Miss the simplicity of synchronously execution flow… Like debugging php with xdebug ☺️

How is it, that features goes thru the entire mill of dev, staging, preview.
Then when deployed to production, things blow up..
Turns out, columns are nullable only in production DB and of course, those happen to be null in there.

If I had a dime for every time I’ve seen shit like this…

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Sins? All of em'.

Infinite loops of recursive callback carnage, just because I like to watch it burn.

Friday, late due trains, on schedule for presenting last month's work.

Mac OS have decided to update some unknown time and doesn't give an estimate..

Woo hoo...

Why did I ever agree to try a Mac for workstation, just because it's the default platform at work..

How do you feel about devs that love closures & overloads to an almost abusive extent?

@client: Duno who he is, but site wants capt. Cha..

What's the lazy man's default navigation protocol?

- OSPF. (Open Shortest Path First)

Is there a definition for the feeling of fulfillment and joy that occurs, when reading through a rewrite or something overly complicated and messy legacy into a neat and tidy set of classes?

Q: You know it's Monday when...
A: (typing)... (buffer overflow)

Because you had a bad.. *Segfault*.

Well fyck, spilled me coffee now tho..

"XDebug is like the SELinux of PHP."

-"I know right? It's the thing you always have to disable when something weirds out."

- random dudes on the train home

I programmed an app I've been working on. It sends ICMP packets out...the message I programmed was "One ping to rule them all".

Oh yes, I am the Ping Master ;D

Useful whenever anything slightly techy needs care or fixing..
Or anything heavy needs carried..

Otherwise just the guy being bashed "lovingly", usually about "get a real job" or "gym/computer addict"..

Collect project specifications & details.
- order by relevance.

List & install dependencies (possibly spin up a vm).

mkdir ~/Code/{lang}/{framework?}/{project}

Bootstrap skeleton & scaffold.
- ensure functional base.

Iterate specs list & create test case(s) one at a time, going: test => minimal to pass => refactor => next(repeat_cycle)

Same as every year, attempt to take over the world!

Honestly tho, I don't put goals for myself as I never reach em.

Just going with the flow, not giving too much a damn about anything and seeing what comes ;)

Made me think and treat other people like disposable objects.
I also try to send as few packets to them as a result, u kno', to keeping the noise down.

Nah, just kidding.

But it has given me a solid foundation and framework for understanding for understanding so much in life..

Programming have also granted me something I continue enjoying and that I don't grow bored of quickly...

Particularly object oriented and event driven development have given me a pretty good ground to support me, on my personal endeavors onto noeroscience and understanding of the human mind..
Just for fun and curiosity tho :)

Want a simple but terrible annoying prank?
Change the keyboard map from UTF8 to ASCII or vice versa and set the system font to something funky like a Greek or Cyrillic variant... :)

When you ask Faker to create a date this century and it returns 1970-01-01...

Sometimes I wonder if it's the norm, that the frontend reassemble almost nothing on the backend...

Even worse when a solution is agreed and sold one way, but implemented another.
Usually eliminating the opportunity to properly expand on, without hacky work-arounds.. further driving the technical debt..

Some days I completely lack the ability to focus on anything.. Much like a gold fish.

Other days, I keep going for hours and effortlessly picks right back up on my track..

So riding the wave & acknowledge when I should slack off and fake it when questioned is my method.. :p

So, finally decided to write my first rant.
I finished today a function that takes the generated week calendar of a WordPress plugin and gives the user a nice print layout.
Problem: The plugin doesn't use the database for it's calendar, only for the events in the calendar. I had to write really unefficent code in jQuery(ajax) and PHP and additionally create a new table. Finally completed the code for printing out a selected day, the current week and a timespan that can be defined, every exception and input is now handled correctly .
Such a great feeling to be finally done with this 4000 rows code.
I hope that I will never again have to create a workaround for such a not-developer-friendly plugin.
Why do clients always want to use such plugins?!

Today i fucked up trying to generate stats from sales and forgetting to check if sale state was completed or cleared.

Causing sales and revenue on the report l to be inflated by sales that’s failed 3DS checks, bails, bank rejects and other failure states.

Go on have a cheap laugh at my silly incompetence 😂

Why is there no avatar with a mustache optionally with handles and a goatee with a butterfly...

Always liked to tinker with software.
And build stuff.

The latter started out the opposite, used to be a bonafide skid.
Until I learned that the most efficient way to break in, is to know how it's built.

My specialty? Mmh probably Laravel, MySQL, Vue & NuXT JS.
& React native.

Built quite a few things with those tools.

.net, asp, sqlsrv, Xamarin & uwp is in my toolbelt too tho.

Whichever tool is the better fit 😁

Am I the only one that didn't the use of not after a something incredibly triggering?

Eg. "Ask not what..."
I know the meaning but I interpret it as "ask how(?) [ inverse of what]... "

I totally forgot that I told Siri to call me Lord of the Rings

Funny conversation I overheard while buying groceries ..

Person 1: why is it, programmers always seem so sad, negative.. Depressed?
Person 2: well, the less you know the happier you go.
Take a look at retards.

Person 1: sigh. I want to be happy.
Person 2: Remove your lust and you're left with happy.

Person 1: wut?
Person 2: look at that retard over there, shouting happy by itself.
Person 1: I see. But how would I apply it.

Person 2: well, I don't think shouting like that retard requires much application.

Person 3(me): don't worry, be happy.

Fuck you, BouncyCastle. I really like you but the way you have documentation. It's annoying. Nice name. Cool project.

Here, I'm write Java Docs for JUnit tests! For every damn test case!

So damn less documentation even SO said mind your own business! It's been more than 15 hrs. Not a single reply! I died a little today. They have examples but they are not really "examples". No passion at all for documentation!

You should watch and learn from AssertJ docs. OMFG @joel-costoglia sets standards for code style and docs before pull requests. The examples are LOTR themed for god's sake. I'm not asking for fluent API. I just want docs. What class does what. A simple program structure required.

Dyn4j, deeplearning4J have wonderful docs. Why not BouncyCastle?!!!!!

Zo far off.

Do you know how epic coding sessions van become when you turn on classic radio on Spotify and LOTR comes along?