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Its that time of the morning again where I get nothing done and moan about the past ... thats right its practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!
Today I'd like to tell you the story of "i". Interesting about "I" is that he was actually a colleague of yesterdays nominee "G" (and was present at the "java interface" video call, and agreed with G!): https://devrant.com/rants/1152317/...
"I" was the spearhead of a project to end all projects in that company. It was suppose to be a cross-platform thing but ended up only working for iOS. It was actually quite similar to this: https://jasonette.com/ (so similar i'm convinced G / I were part of this but I can't find their github ID's in it).
To briefly explain the above + what they built ... this is the worst piece of shit you can imagine ... and thats a pretty strong statement looking back at the rest of this series so far!
"I" thought this would solve all of our problems of having to build similar-ish apps for multiple customers by letting us re-use more code / UI across apps. His main solution, was every developers favourite part of writing code. I mean how often do you sit back and say:
"God damn I wish more of this development revolved around passing strings back and forth. Screw autocomplete, enums and typed classes / variables, I want more code / variables inside strings in this library!"
Yes thats right, the main part of this bullshittery was putting your entire app, into JSON, into a string and downloading it over http ... what could possibly go wrong!
Some of my issues were:
- Everything was a string, meaning we had no autocomplete. Every type and property had to be remembered and spelled perfectly.
- Everything was a string so we had no way to cmd + click / ctrl + click something to see somethings definition.
- Everything was a string so any business logic methods had to be remembered, all possible overloaded versions, no hints at param types no nothing.
- There was no specific tooling for any of this, it was literally open up xcode, create a json file and start writing strings.
- We couldn't use any of the native UI builders ... cause strings!
- We couldn't use any of the native UI layout constructs and we had to use these god awful custom layout managers, with a weird CSS feel to them.
What angered me a lot was their insistence that "You can download a new app over http and it will update instantly" ... except you can't because you can't download new business logic only UI. So its a new app, but must do 100% exactly the same thing as before.
His other achievements include:
- Deciding he didn't like apple's viewController and navigationBar classes and built his own, which was great when iOS 7 was released (changed the UI to allow drawing under the status bar) and we had no access to any of apples new code or methods, meaning everything had to be re-built from scratch.
- On my first week, my manager noticed he fucked up the login error handling on the app I was taking over. He noticed this as I was about to leave for the evening. I stayed so we could call him (he was in an earlier timezone). Rather than deal with his fucked up, he convinced the manager it would be a "great learning experience" for me to do it ... and stay in late ... while he goes home early.
- He once argued with me in front of the CEO, that his frankenstein cross-platform stuff was the right choice and that my way of using apples storyboards (and well thought out code) wasn't appropriate. So I challenged him to prove it, we got 2 clients who needed similar apps, we each did it our own way. He went 8 man weeks over, I came in 2 days under and his got slated in the app store for poor performance / issues. #result.
But rather than let it die he practically sucked off the CEO to let him improve the cross platform tooling instead.
... in that office you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a retard.
Having had to spend a lot more time working with him and more closely than most of the other nominees, at a minimum "I" is on the top of my list for needing a good punch in the face. Not for being an idiot (which he is), not for ruining so much (which he did), but for just being such an arrogant bastard about it all, despite constant failure.
Will "I" make it to most incompetent? Theres some pretty stiff competition so far
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!7 -
I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye40
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Dear Apple,
We've sent you a new message regarding your app, Xcode. To view or reply to the message, go to the Resolution Centre.
----------------------------------
We noticed that your app did not fully meet the terms and conditions for reasonable fucking update size. Your latest app update requires over 40 GB of free fucking disk space. Please bear in mind that many of your own fucking laptops only have 120 GB of disk space. For optimum user experience, it would be best if the user didn't have to uninstall other apps from their system just to run your shitty update system.
Next Steps:
To resolve this problem, we recommend that you fix your shit. If you are unable to fix your shit, we recommend that you don't take 30% of all iOS developer's income so that you can make giant fucking glass donut buildings, and instead use that ridiculously disproportionate monopoly-abusing cut and invest that money in fixing your shit, to lighten the load of developers on whose backs you have become the most cash-rich company in human history.
Resources:
There are plenty of resources such as Stack Overflow to take advantage of, in order to learn how not to create a bloated piece of shit IDE.
Once you've completed all required changes, please upload a new binary to the App Store.7 -
Fuck YOU Xcode!
20 crashes since I started working this morning.
Restarted the iMac, same shit.
Cleared NVRAM/PRAM whatever its called, same shit.
Closed EVERYTHING, restarted iMac again, unplugged from the wall, left it few mins, replugged back, turned it on, continued working, AND IT STILL KEEPS FUCKING ME OUT OF NOWHERE.
FUCK THIS, FUCK XCODE, FUCK APPLE, AND FUCK WHOEVER DARES TO THINK THAT ITS A GREAT PIECE OF SOFTWARE, im done.
P.S. this rage got me to a point where i had to make this paper
13 -
FOUR DAYS
Tomorrow will be the FOURTH FUCKING DAY spent trying to get this piece of shit iOS simulator to not crash the app.
I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING.
FUCK APPLE. FUCK XCODE. FUCK IOS😠😤😠😤😠😤😠😤😠😤
Steve Jobs was a twat, and the IPhone X garbage piece of technology13 -
A day of an iOS developer life:
1. XCode crashed
2. XCode freeze
3. XCode "Jump to Definition" takes me to a different file that has the exact same variable name instead of jumping to the top of the file
4. XCode Storyboard designer throwing 1000000000 as UIStackView width on a newly created UIView
5. Heart attack
6. Lots of depression
** Note:
just noticed devRant web has xcode as placeholder in the tags box lol devRant knows my pain T_T8 -
How to make Xcode crash:
1. type: self.btn
2. Profit!
I need to add this on my CV as an expert in making xcode crash, not implying that Xcode is a shit IDE !!6 -
I’m convinced that Xcode and android studio are locked in an epic race to the bottom to claim the title of shittiest IDE.7
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Recap: https://www.devrant.io/rants/878300
I was out Thursday at the Hospital. I'm what the doctors would call "Ill as fuck"
So, Friday I’m back in the office to the usual: "How was that appointment?"
I know people mean well when they ask this. So, I do the polite thing and tell them it went as well as it could.
Realistically it does't matter how well it went... They haven't cured Crohn's because I showed up to the appointment. They know I'm fucked already.
But, push it down, add it to the future aneurism.
I had to go through the usual resignation meetings with managers:
"We"re fucked now you're going"
"yep"
"we need to get a handle on how fucked"
"already done that for you, here"s a trello board, very fucked."
"we need to put a plan together to drop all the junior devs in the shit with the work you’ve been doing"
"You need about 4 devs, please refer to the previous trello board for your plan"
Meanwhile, me and Morpheus are in constant communication because all of this is like a Shakespearean comedy.
So, I overhear a conversation between a Junior Dev and the Solution Architect.
[SA] took over the project because he knows better than two tried and tested senior devs -_- (fuckwit).
JD: "It took me one and a half days to build it out"
SA: "Yeah, it must have taken me twice as long... It must be a problem with the project, you should just be able to check it out and run it."
JD: "I know, it has to be wrong"
All of this is about Morpheus' work of art, of an Ionic 3 hybrid app.
I fumed quietly at my desk because I've been ordered by the Stazi to be hands off.
Since Morpheus and me were pulled from the project [JD] and [JD2] were dropped into it to get it over the line.
It"s unfortunate and I was clear and honest with my advice to them: I personally would not take over the project because I"d be way out of my depth... Oh, and the App works, so uh, there's no work to do.
They have been constantly at our desks. Asking fuckdiculous questions about how to perform basic tasks. So they can get Morpheus" frigging masterpiece to the user.
It"s like watching that touch up of jesus that got borked by an amateur. Shit I have google, it's like watching this happen: http://ti.me/NnNSAb
[JD] came to me Friday evening.
"I can’t get this to build to iOS or install on [Test Analyst]'s phone."
Me: "No worries brother, where are you stuck right now?"
[JD] describes the first steps with clear indication he hasn't googled his problem.
Life lesson: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lmgtfy
Que an hour of me showing [JD] how to build an Ion3 project for iOS. Fuck it, your man's in a bind and he"s asked politely for help. I can show him quicker than he can read 3 sets of docos.
I took him through 'ionic cordova build ios', the archive and release processes in XCode 9, then the apk bundling process for droid. Finally we have an MAM so the upload process for that too.
All the while cleaning up his AppIDs, Profiles, deployment attempts.
Damn they were a mess.
I did this with a smile on my face, not because I could say "I told you so"... But. because when any developer asks you how to do something. If you know how to do it, you should always be happy to learn them some new tricks!
Dude's alright, he's been dropped in the shit. Now I know how badly so I'll help him learn things that are useful to his role, but aren't project specific.
As a plausi-senior dev (I'll tell you about that later); it's my job to make sure my team have what they need to go home smiling!
I’m not a hateful fucker, the guy asked me an honest question so I am happy to give him the honest answer.
I took him through it a few times and explained a few best practices. Most were how to do his AppID and ProvProfile set up. Good lad, took it all on board.
However! In his frustration, he pointed the finger at Morpheus' "David" (ref: Michelangelo).
He miraculously morphed into a shiny colourful parrot and fed me SA's line:
"you should just be able to build from a clean clone"
My response was calm and clear:
"You can, it took me 20 minutes on Thursday evening. I was bored and curios, so I wanted to validate Morpheus' work. Here it is on my iOS device and my Android device. It would have taken me 5 if my laptop wasn’t so horrifically out of date."
I validated Morpheus' work so I have evidence, I trust that brilliant bastard.
I just need to be able to prove it's good.
[JD] took this on board.
Maybe listening to two tried and trusted senior devs is better than listening to a headstrong Solution Architect.
When JD left for the weekend I was working a late one (https://www.devrant.io/rants/874765).
His sign off was beautiful.
"I think I can happily admit defeat on this one, it can wait until Monday."
To which I replied: "no worries brother, if you need a hand give me a shout."
Rule 1: Don't be a cunt.
Rule 2: If someone needs help and you can give it: Give it!
Rule 3: Don't interrupt James' cigarette time.
Rule 4: goto Rule 3.4 -
Upon a certain angry Germans recommendation I started getting into flutter.
Best fucking decission ever. Shit is simple and makes sense.
I ain't tagging him cuz he don't like being tagged.
But thanks man!! You know who you are!
The code makes sense, the widget tree hierarchy makes sense, knowing the native counterpart helps whenever the flutter portion ain't doing it(has not happened yet) and dart is really a good language.
The tooling is fucking genius, funny enough the emulators open quicker with vs code than android studio or xcode(fuck those two btw, 2 fucking years of hate towards them ain't going away) and building designs programatically make waaay more sense.
Flutter gave me back my hope for mobile development. This is google knowing that they fucked up Android development and fixing it and schooling IOS development for taking a good set of languages(obj c and swift) nd fucking them up with their shit way of development.
I am in love.9 -
FOR FUCK SAKE APPLE! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STILL IN THIS WORLD!
Was creating a signed file of the app to upload to their store and while XCode (that bitch!) was working on it, Slack, and Postman crashed!
Do I need to say why or you already knew it is because XCode ate all the RAM -.-7 -
Never EVER buy a Mac as your primary PC if you're a developer.
Back in 2014 I bought an iMac because I already had an iPhone, and being able to code on xCode and also have a Windows partition seemed perfect. It wasn't.
Soon enough, I started encountering issues. My storage was randomly filling up, my computer started getting slow despite me having a small number of start apps and still a lot of storage available, it was all a mess.
So - I installed Windows 10 using Bootcamp to use it as my main OS. All was great until I wanted a new partition of Windows so I can test some things out without damaging my stuff. I try multiple methods, none of which work because my disk is not in the right partition format, and I don't want to change it because I'd have to format the whole thing.
Whatever - I give up, and try going back to my normal partition, disappointed. Guess fucking what?! My Windows Boot was damaged! Yes, I shit you not!
So - not only was this absolute piece of shit not able to add just one more fucking partition with an OS on it, but it BROKE my main partition, and now I'm trying to recover it.
I've said it once and I'll say it again: Never EVER get a Mac as your primary computer, unless you only work on Mac/iPhone apps.
For paying 1300$, I was expecting a seamless experience with little to no issues - yet all I got is a computer that's fucking broken from it's very core.
Fuck you, Apple.13 -
YOU FUCKING FUCK PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT XCODE I FUCKING WISH YOU DISAPPEAR FROM THIS FUCKED UP WORLD!
What I did:
1. Scroll right on "Magic Mouse"
2. Profit! (XCode crash!)5 -
In 15+ years of full time work as a C++ software engineer there is one tool that I always hated: CMAKE. What a fucking pile of shit, seriously, every time there is project that uses it I simply cannot build said project with one click. In all these 15 years working in different companies the only reason people speak about cmake is to avoid adding source files to multiple projects (VS, XCode, Android).
I'm not some kind of newbie: I've make cmake projects myself, I've build hundrends of projects that use cmake and I even contributed fixes to their code. I still believe that cmake is garbage that should stop to exist.9 -
Dear XCode I hope you fucking burn in hell you piece of shit! can't do anything without that shit either indexing, or freezing, or crashing!
FUCK YOU BITCH!9 -
Said it before and saying it again: FUCK YOU XCODE! This shit keeps on crashing 😒
https://devrant.io/rants/558740/...15 -
In the 1990s code editors on the Mac could insert the omitted function prototypes into a header file with one command; and even automatically keep the header declaration updated when you changed the source definition (name, parameters, etc)
Today in Xcode you have to copy and paste the stupid function header definition from the source code into the header file. What happens if you leave the "{" that got copied accidentally? OMFUCKING LORD, it triggers all sorts of erroneous errors in all the **source code** files where it is included instead of the header with the stray "{"
I started to question whether nor not I knew C, if gravity worked, if the sun would come up. I wasted a day of dicking around in StackOverflow trying to chase down all these insane error messages which make no sense in Xcode.
I just **happened** to see at the bottom of one of the source files, after all the erroneous error, a very important error:
"};" Expected
So I started deleting code from the bottom up in this source file, same error every time. Got to the point where the includes were all that was left.
FUCK YOU XCODE and the hacks that designed that horrendous piece of shit
Xcode is only free if your time is worth absolutely nothing.11 -
Fuck Xcode!
Why does every single and small update need to be at least 5GB? And why am I required to update you so fucking often? You are not fixing anything, so don’t even pretend to! Most of the time it is just to support the latest .x update in iOS. Can’t be too hard to update the SDK without updating the entire shit IDE! 😡
And guess what: I JUST UPDATED YOU, SO WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING NEW VERSION??? HOW CAN I WAIT 45 MINUTES AND AFTER THAT YOU DID NOTHING!?! HOW CAN I HAVE THE SAME VERSION AS BEFORE??? NOW I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD YOU AGAIN YOU FUCKING PEASE OF SHIT 😡😡😡1 -
Why download xcode9?
You'll have tons of free time to browse devRant
Apparently Apple understood the No Freeze as More Freeze 😒😒😒😒😒2 -
It is time... to rant about macs!
No, seriously - I had such a different experience about which not many talk in real life or pretend that it never happens....
Model: 2015 mid MBP 15" with second to highest specs (don't have dedicated gpu).
Rattling fucking toy.... Yea, it rattles! If you shake/move ir sit in trait/bus - it non-stop rattles as a fucking toy. Worst part? It's confirmed issue by apple and it manifacturing issue that they are not keen on fixing!!!! WTF? We have 4 macs in our office - all of them fucking rattles... God help me how annoying that is. (Lose LCD control panel that unsticks from glue. Replacing it solves the issue for 1 month if you carry it anywhere).
Constant fucking crashing/updates.... Every morning I wake up and don't have an app that requires confirmation for restart - it's restarted. YAY, turning on all apps once again.... Why you may ask? Well, because if you tinker with software in any way - it fails to update it and hell breaks lose. It's been a long time since High-Sierra came around and the issue is still there (not running Mojave as it conflicts with soft I have... Woo!). Tried few times - updates fail. Resolution? Reinstall OS!
OS conflicts with applications - damn... People told me it works out of the box.... Yeah, as long as you don't upgrade the OS - then it breaks. Why? Well, because.
Piece of shit power supply. With 4 of our office power supplies - 2 of them failed twice withing warranty and once afterwards... Really? Not to mention that all 4 are starting to shear the sleeve or already did (mine is just wrapped with white electrical tape to give it a support... lol).
Bluetooth - who the hell needs that in mac, right? Well, people do. To start with - it conflicts with 2.4GHz wireless network - you might have one of those and not both at the same time. Next thing is using a device that needs constant connection (mouse, headphones, keyboard - non apple branded) - shit... They can't stay connected for more than an hour without any issues... Constant battle to re-connect it, to re-pair the device and all due to smart apple bluetooth settings. Hell, my mouse (logitech MX master) was even printing random symbols in some applications if moved. All of the issues went away after using a bluetooth dongle... WOO!!!!
Xcode... Ahh, you may never prepare your mac if you don't download 17GB of fucking xCode libraries that enables some tools to be installed/runned as you can NOT get them in any other way and you have to install full xCode software in order to get them... YAY! 17GB wasted on my 256GB SSD that I can't upgrade. GREAT!
OsX applications - ah, don't get offended but if you are using them and you are fine with them - you are probably a monkey that loves being told what to do. You can't customise any actions, you can't configure it the way you like - either you accept their default workflow or go kill yourself. Yep... Had issues with calendar, mail, iMessages, safari... None of them fit my needs :)
Resolution scaling... Fucking hell, the display is 2880 x 1800 but all you let me to use is 1440x900 without scaling? Am I blind to you? Scaling the resolution means that you are fucked if some applications don't support scaling very well. Looking at you Jetbrains - your IDES suck at scaling and slows down the pc to a potato....
Now the pros - keyboard is way better than the new ones, trackpad is GREAT - no need for mouse (using it on external 4k displays only), the battery life is great - getting around 6h of continues development time, 8 if using sublime instead of phpStorm and well, that's about it...
To clarify:
I've bought this device due to the fact that at that time mac and windows pc's with similiar specs costed the same while windows pc sucked with their quality of the device and trackpad... Now the situation is better and when time comes for a next upgrade - it's going to be one of these:
Razer Blade 15, Dell XPS 15, Lenovo Carbon X1 series.
And of course - LINUX. I've had enough issues with windows, and had enough of retardness of apple ecosystem, so switching it is a must for me.
Disclaimer: I might be an unhappy customer, a bit picky but I'd like my device to be setted up as I like and continue to have that until I don't like, not until the company decides to break it. Not to mention that paying almost a yearly salary in my country for one device - I'd expect it to be at least reliable and work without issues....
Rant over.
ps. You can disagree with me, this is my personal experience with MBP over the last 3 years :)8 -
Visual Studio - How da fuck can a IDE take so long to load? Like shit man, the time VS loads I have a days work on Xcode already.7
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Sooooo I am not a fanboy. I do have my reservations when it comes to technology and whatever, but I live and let live and normally don't shit on stuff as long as it does not affect me or has any reasonable opportunity to affect others.
But my lead developer does, highly opinionated dude for a lot of shit (he ain't really my lead dev anymore in the sense of him being over me, i actually got promoted to a different department but have to continue working with him) and as such we sometimes go on some huuuuge rants regarding tech. With me, shit is simple man, you tell me you like something and I'll dig it, even if i don't necessarily dig it....i am pretty chill like that...ya dig?
Well the other day he was talking about how tvs like mine were too small for him, mine is a 55 inch, i don't think its small, it doesn't inconvenience me in any way really. But to his royal blindness shit is small.
I mentioned that I watch most of my shit lying down on my ipad pro, to were he starts talking massive amounts of shit about apple.
Now, as a previously hired and annoyed mobile developer, ios has a special place in my heart in which my only complaint about the platform was how xcode would fuck up from time to time. The languages were glorious(Obj C and swift) the cocoa apis were amazing(between ios and mac desktop....oooh la la) and the care that the apple store takes in not letting every other add infested garbage app to play a part in their store, the gloriousness of having your data secured as well as havinf applications compiled into the actual fucking operating system REALLY TOUCHES HOME WITH ME. ITS COOL IF IT AIN'T YOU, I AM TALKING ABOUT ME.
Oh. And ipads are smooth as fuck. This was something that I had to mention when he said that anything that I could do with my 1000+ dllr ipad could be done with his samsung table. Normally, I would be like "cool man" but diz doode insisted on making an android vs ios argument.
He insisted on me trying on his tablet. Boy it was the jankiest, laggiest shit I had laid hands on.......just like any other underpowered Android device. Don't get me wrong, my s9 works fucking amazing, but why in the name of heavens would you make an argument against a tablet whilst simultaneously using a piece of shit that doesn't even work properly? Are people really that delusional in their arguments that they would really be that wrong while still insisting on being right?12 -
People ranting about xcode, how about stop using Mac and apple products there all dog shit. Or just use another IDE or editor problem solved.8
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one gotta love Cordova piece of shit -.-
Tested app on browser all is good, deployed on phone and that shit wasn't able to access internet, turned out I needed another cordova plugin for this shit to work.
XCode, I'm sorry bro you are much less pain than cordova :(18 -
Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done
Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT
Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...
So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬6 -
Dear Apple: FIX YOUR FUCKED UP IDE!
Generating IPA file takes ages, freezes the shit out of the mac and to make it even worse a full clean -> build -> Generate Signed APK on slow ass gradle takes barely 5 minutes while XCode takes ages9 -
Me at 2:00 AM be like:
“WHY THE **FOOK** IS THIS CONSTRAINT BREAKING???”
“WHY IS XCODE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT?”
“BROKE THE PROJECT FILES... HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN.”
“MEMORY ERRORS? H O W”23 -
Seriously, fuck Xcode up the ass with a hot poker. What a piece of shit. It can’t even handle graphics as well as MacDraw circa 19895
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I wish I could just destroy Apple, and its fucked up IDE!
About the image:
I'm using an array of object ("SearchFilterse") called: searchFilters IT IS A FUCKING ARRAY!
What is XCode complaining about:
completion function requires an array of "SearchFilters" and the variable "searchFilters" is not an array
if xcode could only understand the line just above "completion(result, searchFilters) it will fucking understand that I'm using a goddamn array!
and if I apply its proposed solution it tells me: Cannot use [[SearchFilters]] required is [SearchFilters]
I hate my life :)
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Xcode 11 only 7.6GB
Earlier it was 4.7GB
New innovative bugs added or a finally good enough IDEfrom Apple?
9 -
Turned on my MacBook, opened up Xcode, within typing one line of code my computer starts heating up and the fans are loud as fuck4
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Part two of: a day off an iOS developer life:
1. App crashed and stack trace gives no info in which file it happened, I have a generic table view cell that is used in so many places and Xcode just wrote: xcell does not support key value.
2. Mac freezing when Xcode is creating IPA file thanks to a new feature in Xcode 9 (Mac freezing is the new feature, even mouse pointer doesn't move -.-)
3. Let's check the value of this class property, Xcode: fuck off and either print it in console (after hitting a break point) or expand that shitty tree at the bottom to reach your class property!
An advice: never click jump to definition when Xcode is indexing, it will either freezing Xcode or crash it.
Part 1 link: https://devrant.com/rants/1137208/...1 -
I honestly maintain a positive opinion that almost (again read almost) all devs are not inherently evil. Those who are made do those autoplay vids were probably asked by management, the game devs at EA are forced to use Frostbite which isn’t suitable for everything, like RPGs, and Apple devs aren’t trying to maximise profits by limiting so much to the consumer world (e.g the bloody XCode license), but are forced in by this corporate model.
A lot of shit is given to devs and sometimes I think it’s undeserved. In their shoes most people would too go against their moral compass if it meant that they won’t lose their jobs. I’m sure when battlefront was in the works it wasn’t the devs that came up with that whole shitstorm model.2 -
What the fuck this fucking shit of an app supposedly went through five rounds of QA and I broke it in 5 minutes? Holy fucking shit How this is the main point of your job. You shitty shits take forever getting this PR to me and now it’s buggier than a haunted house on Halloween?
After this is after wanting to cuss Apple for making me update the os then then xcode then iTunes just to recognize the goddamn development phone. It’s an app built off Cordova it works for like 14 versions of iOS just run the bugger you over priced aluminum chassis dildo riding fruit Fuckers.
Now back to the goddamn cluster fuck I just got delivered. What the goddamn fuck. This level of bullshittery I have not seen before. And apparently Cordova is only partly de-sandboxed? I don’t know for sure because I don’t have time to test it because I’m running the entire technological stack of this company on a junior dev salary!
When you tell me it goes though all this QA and you spend 2 weeks on just QA tickets for fucks sake the first operation I do, the most common fucking operation on the app, the shit we have been building around all this fucking time, should not fucking error out. For fucks sake at least try to get the main fucking thing working. I recognize you did a lot of work and implemented a number of features but what the fuck good are they if I can’t even run them for one fucking time. -
There are a lot of things I don't understand in life, but the fact that I need to press tab three times in xcode to select the item in the popup tooltip is just ... I don't know fucked up?
I have a var called: isItemSelected, I need to press tab three times for it to use this option while in all other IDEs I used if it is highlighted then one FUCKING PRESS ON TAB BUTTON SELECTS THE HIGHLIGHTED SHIT !!
Fucking Apple shit -.-1 -
If you wanna think that I'm a bad programmer, that's ok, but I can't put up anymore with Xcode.
Jesus Christ. An entire afternoon spent trying to make an array with two dimensions. I tried every fucking way I found in SO, in the apple site and in every another site that I found in my way.
First: For every example for Swift 3 there's another 10 for Swift <3.
Second: Mutable arrays, as I'm noticing, aren't a thing anymore, so, to declaring array size we go! Except it's impossible to. Tried 3 different ways. Not a single one worked.
Third: Actually, one of the 3 tries worked, for int arrays, and for some obscure reason it won't work for strings, as declaring the array as [String] is too general for swift, I mean, I completely agree with it, a [String] array could contain anything right???? FUCK NO. IT CONTAINS STRINGS YOU FUCKER!!!!
I swear, if the equipment was mine and not from the office, I would have thrown that piece of shit which disconnects from the fucking computer every 30 seconds that apple calls keyboard out of the window already.
Why the fuck do I need to develop for iOS in swift/xcode?? There's so many cross platform alternatives out there, good ones in fact, but no, we must build the applications natively or else the phone will catch on fire according to my boss.
I kinda liked Apple until now.
From now on? Fuck Apple.10 -
Consecutive day number 3 of "What random dumb shit is Xcode going to pull on me today?"
today it doesn't like the ".storyboard" extension name that it created itself automatically. So that's my fault again I suppose?5 -
Finally no more xcode at work :D
But now I have to work with React Native, still a better thing to work with than Ionic 1 + Angular .-.6 -
Developing and deploying in Xcode is some Requiem for a Dream level bullshit.
I literally just de selected everything for managing automatic signing, and re-selected the EXACT SAME GODDAMN THING. And it worked. It’s literally some fucking shit you do when you are first learning how to code or learning a language and you keep flipping something but you don’t get exactly how it works.
But this is YOUR FUCKING FLAGSHIP development product. I shouldn’t have to check my goddamn inception totem to see if I’m dreaming or not because this kind of bullshit can’t be real life.
That being fucking said your bullshit forced shutdown also FUCKED MY ANDROID STUDIO INSTALLATION AND FUCKED MY $PATH. Thanks. Now NOTHING WORKS. Fuck you Apple. Between slowing my phone and the cluster or problems your shit is causing that are just random as hell and are plenty common because thank god people smarter than me have fixed them in SO by now, I am SO READY TO LEAVE THE APPLE ECO SYSTEM. If I didn’t have to use one of the boxes to push iPhone app updates I doubt I would touch one again.
Apple stuff looks good but at this point that’s about it. -
I've been using visual studio for years and always found debugging pretty fun. At my new job I have to use xcode and FUCK DEBUGGING IN THAT ILLEIGBLE SHIT TIER DEBUGGER. and fuck objective-c, at least you can ignore the objective part and just code c..
I never thought I would say this, but damn, I miss Microsoft.9 -
XCode you fucking piece of shit...
So I just wanted to process my ios app to the app store and start the archive process. All of the sudden:
Command CodeSign failed with a nonzero exit code
What? So there is an error and you cannot tell me the error code? All information you give me that it isn't zero!? Wow... Amazing... What a great user experience. Maybe it cannot resolve the error? Maybe it is some external tool Apple has no access to and that is the only valid error they can throw at us?
Oh hell no! It has something to do with the keychain access! But why tell the user? That wouldn't be as much fun as just tell it is a nonzero error, isn't it apple?!
In the end locking and unlocking my key chain solved the problem... Thanks for nothing XCode!2 -
After 24 hours waiting for Xcode 9 to finish download, I run it on an existing project and got greeted with this:
Indexing Text
For fucknsake you piece of shit! Because indexing project isn't enough now Xcode index text! What the fuck are Apple employees smoking 😔4 -
If there was an IDE which combines Xcodes debugging with Android Studios code completion, that would be an almost perfect IDE!
In Xcode you don‘t have to start the debugging process explicitly, you just set breakpoints while the app is running. Thats so much better than in Android Studio where you have to switch from normal running to debug mode.
In Android Studio you can use a function which is not declared yet and if you declare it afterwards, it is recogniced and can be completed by the code completion. Xcode does not know shit about undeclared funtions...5 -
All I am asking for is a debugger in Xcode that works as well as Macintosh Programmer's Workshop ( MPW) circa 80's/90's. Maybe I am being unreasonable?
I stepped a line in the debugger and all the variables disappear... and all I get is the spinny "fuck you" indicator and the variables all disappear.
But here is the worst part... Apple isn't holding any of those fucktards on the Xcode team accountable for producing a shit product.
I'm really glad I don't have to do this as a full time job anymore. Then why do I continue to pound nails with my forehead (use Xcode)?
Whip me, beat me, make me use Xcode...
5 -
FCUKING SHIT X-FUNCING-CODE! Collapsed code by mistakenly typing the shortcut now I cannot fucking EXPAND IT AGAIN T_T T_T T_T3
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WOW Xcode is such a trash fucking application, I am so pissed at how much I have to fight this damn piece of shit program to get my work done
The time it takes to index my code is disgustingly long, I sit and sit and wait for it to FINALLY recognize I've added a new variable to the header file before it can begin to suggest autocompletions, but wait??? Why is it telling me there's errors about another variable? On a line of code that doesn't even fucking mention that variable??? BETTER WAIT IT OUT FOR IT TO INDEX SOME MORE, NO XCODE MY CODE ISN'T ERRONEOUS, YOU ARE YOU CRAP SHOOT!!
AND WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SPLIT VIEW YOU WITH ANOTHER APP??2 -
Being a full stack developer has been an amazing journey. Looking at a project and understanding how the entire stack work starting from the mobile apps, APIs and DB is a total bless.
Nevertheless, lately switching context between modern languages has been extremely frustrating.
Swift looks like kotlin, elixir looks like ruby. Hell even swift and ruby are very similar.
Writing ruby in Xcode and wondering why the fuck Xcode complaining. Well no shit, swift is not ruby. Took me 5 mins of head scratching to notice it 😢
Hell I am now writing down the latest language I am working with on my hand to keep track 😂
5 -
You see this? that's Apple fucking up! Uploaded a release and their server could not do its job correctly... Now I need to do another build just to be able to upload the app again
It's been processing for two hours, and there is another build that is processing for a week!
Not only their XCode is shit but also their iTunesConnect is shit, can they just rename the company to Shit, cuz that's what they seem to be best at doing...
2 -
var rant: QuantumBool = PartlyTrue
So now I think I've got everything in my app right.... But I can't test it because ***** xcode doesn't create a **** certificate so I can deploy it to my phone (it uses motion sensors)
I deleted all the certificates of developer from the keychain because of a bug and now I **** can't deploy my apps for testing....
Please, does anyone know how to reset the icloud keychain to absolute nothing?7 -
Will a brand new MacBook Pro make your day the worst?
Yes! It will if you are an iOS developer who fucks with xCode everyday.
Let me tell you the story of my day with the brand new MacBook Pro.
I wanted to build my application for iOS 13. For that I should have the latest xCode latest version. For the latest xCode version to work I should have the latest OS.
It took a long fucking time for downloading the latest OS dmg file. And for the fuck sake I was not able to install the same as the file vault was being encrypted.
That fucking encryption thing took half a day. And then I installed the OS. Then, I waited for a long time while the pile of shit(xCode) was downloading.
Then I installed xCode too. And now you know what the day ends and it's time to fucking sleep.17 -
In the “Qualities of Great Design” session at #WWDC2018. Really wish the Xcode team could be sitting in the front row so they couldn’t sleep thru the session...
oh i guess being the optimist I was thinking they would even be here. Silly me.
All the bugs that drive me effen crazy are clear and present in Xcode 10 beta. Stupid shit still rules at Xcode Central.
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Fuck Apple and their shitty macbooks
the MacBook air I bought a year ago as that was the only I could afford at that point is slowly giving up as this piece of shit lacks any sort of cooling. As soon as Xcode starts , temperatures reach 80-90C and don't even get me started on what happens when I provide builds.
Seriously, how do they get away with providing subpar hardware at such high prices. Their after sale services will literally cost me another MacBook. This "ecosystem" is just not worth it.12 -
Xcode is pissing me off:
- Suddenly it starts force quitting every 2 minutes
- Every second time it doesn't know everything and only can autocomplete words that were already in the document
- Playground pages: Good idea, works horribly.
- when I use modules from CocoaPods the first time, I need to restart Xcode and the computer 5 times till I don't run into build errors
- it likes to just throw random errors everywhere and leaving you unable to build anything
- it only copies new files every second or third time into the project folder.
I'm really pissed. I just wanted to code... -
I absolutely fucking hate Xcode, the pile of shit ide. Even when I set the default ide for Java files it STILL FUCKING OPENS XCODE FFS.
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apple you piece of shit just let me have xcode i dont want to make a stupid fucking account, so can you fuck off?
and why do you HAVE to have billing address information to create a fuckign account or am i a retard who cant figure out how to make a fuckign account without providing it because your UI is not retard proof enough
fuck u3 -
Watching a video on YouTube that shows: Refactoring and Extract Method features in xcode 9 beta brings a tear to my eye, never thought we will get that basic functionality 😢
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FFS Xcode can’t talk to an iPhone and and Android studio can’t pick an Android SDK. The help page doesn’t even mention “Android SDK”
Race to the bottom to be the shittiest SDK I’m telling ya! -
So, I am currently on Spring Break, and what do I do when I am on Spring Break: I take a moment to experiment with different languages. This time, I decided to check out Objective C since it mixes up two languages that I love dearly (but that I do not use outside of academic endeavors) which are C and Smalltalk.
Going around the net I found this https://github.com/Flying-Toast/...
Notice: I have nothing against Swift, I stopped developing apps for IOS back when Swift was in its infancy, so I was forced to use Objective C and tbh I never had an issue with it, I had learned it before through GNUStep, the language was obviously strange when I started learning it, but I did not hate it, I tried following Swift to see if I could use it at least in some portions, but at the time of its release it was still pretty much beta for me, so I passed. I feel it is much better now, but the issues with the language at this point in time I feel are more from the side of XCode which can either be just ok, good or an absolute piece of shit depending on the release. Either way, I found the link to be funny.2 -
Xcode Lockup #35: Changing Variable Names
You right click on a variable and get the opportunity to change the name throughout the project. Yea!
It does this funky visual collapse thing which is rather nice, showing you everywhere it is used. Fancy. And the world needs more fancy, doesn't it.
For some reason instead of letting me change the variable, I get the Beach Ball Of Death and Xcode unceremoniously quits. BUT NOT BEFORE THE FUCKER SAVED THE PROJCT FILE STATE. What?
Now I re-open the project and yep, we are back into the variable name change fancy interface and Beach Ball Of Death. Looks like the project file is now fucked.
But it was oh so important to give me the fancy folding interface... we (Xcode dorks) will fix the defects later.
Time to do some research and find an Xcode manager mailing address... cuz I'm really tired of this shit...
https://www.ipoopyou.com/orders/new3 -
Ffs. I thought I never had to touch development for ios devices anymore but I was wrong.
The god damn piece of shit hybrid app build in apache cordova works perfectly fine on android but guess what, after signing that pile of crap with xcode it won't work on ios because somehow that retarded os forgets to listen for click events on a simple fucking button which is used to activate the app.
Had to create a virtual machine with osx and wait for xcode to instal, sign that app only to figure out it won't work..
Even after seaching google for 3 FUCKING HOURS there are still no FUCKING RESULTS.
I'm done with the entirety of apple and all their products. -
Google made sure that devs understand Layout Editor has lots of bug fixes in AS 3.4,
I'm now at 3.4.1 and that thing still crashes (stops responding to changes unless I do them in XML) when I just add a damn new control in an empty window!
I hope they get it right anytime soon.
So my situation right now:
XCode shit when writing code but has some robust Layout Editor
Android Studio: Amazing when writing code but shit when using Layout Editor
Guess one can't get the best in at least one of them :\3 -
Worked all my life in C++/Java and for the first time in Android, finished the android app (ffs that's one messy framework)... now they give me an old macbook and send me into swift/xcode, I have been trying to connect two text fields and a button for 90 minutes, getting furious knowing I have to finish this app all over again for ios, please tell me how fucked am I? Is it better or worse than Android when it comes to a learning curve? I've googled this and usually it's fanboys fanboying, has anyone done both and has any advice?
P.S. I'm young and still tend to learn fast, but man this is really giving me shit, especially the IDE and interface builder which I despise as a concept, rather just write code instead of dragging and dropping...3 -
LOL XCode....I think they meant "X"tra useless, resembling such as a bag of dicks without handles!!!!
Also, being fucking buried because there's aren't any devs anywhere to be found near me makes me extra cranky!
Ive been hammering away at this Flutter, Java, Swift, Python, and Google maps for just about 36 hours on 3.5 hrs sleep. I just can't stop, I fuckin love this shit!!!
Considering the fact that I'm self taught and just started writing code for real about 7 months ago, I'd say I'm handling this alright for now. Every bit of tech is getting shot out of a cannon at this one- maps, real time tracking, state level auth/Id verification, custom components like ID scans/native desktop applications on custom linux machines, body cams, SIP trunking... all in 3 apps which are 100% multi-platform and scaled up to high end enterprise levels and being groomed for national release. I'm writing the code and doing the tech for ALL of it- even down to custom painted barcode scanners, a wallet system built from scratch, GPS integration, location/geofence based document querying... holy fuck guys I'm gonna fuckin die haha!!!
I went from barely getting websites made in late summer to this very moment, where I am pumping shit out in Flutter, Dart, Python, CPP, Js, Swift, Java, Kotlin, Obj-C, SQL/noSQL, and who knows what else.
I don't even know what the hell I just said haha I hope everyone has a great day! -
During my small tenure as the lead mobile developer for a logistics company I had to manage my stacks between native Android applications in Java and native apps in IOS.
Back then, swift was barely coming into version 3 and as such the transition was not trustworthy enough for me to discard Obj C. So I went with Obj C and kept my knowledge of Swift in the back. It was not difficult since I had always liked Obj C for some reason. The language was what made me click with pointers and understand them well enough to feel more comfortable with C as it was a strict superset from said language. It was enjoyable really and making apps for IOS made me appreciate the ecosystem that much better and realize the level of dedication that the engineering team at Apple used for their compilation protocols. It was my first exposure to ARC(Automatic Reference Counting) as a "form" of garbage collection per se. The tooling in particular was nice, normally with xcode you have a 50/50 chance of it being great or shit. For me it was a mixture of both really, but the number of crashes or unexpected behavior was FAR lesser than what I had in Android back when we still used eclipse and even when we started to use Android Studio.
Developing IOS apps was also what made me see why IOS apps have that distinctive shine and why their phones required less memory(RAM). It was a pleasant experience.
The whole ordeal also left me with a bad taste for Android development. Don't get me wrong, I love my Android phones. But I firmly believe that unless you pay top dollar for an android manufacturer such as Samsung, motorla or lg then you will have lag galore. And man.....everyone that would try to prove me wrong always had to make excuses later on(no, your $200_$300 dllr android device just didn't cut it my dude)
It really sucks sometimes for Android development. I want to know what Google got so wrong that they made the decisions they made in order to make people design other tools such as React Native, Cordova, Ionic, phonegapp, titanium, xamarin(which is shit imo) codename one and many others. With IOS i never considered going for something different than Native since the API just seemed so well designed and far superior to me from an architectural point of view.
Fast forward to 2018(almost 2019) adn Google had talks about flutter for a while and how they make it seem that they are fixing how they want people to design apps.
You see. I firmly believe that tech stacks work in 2 ways:
1 people love a stack so much they start to develop cool ADDITIONS to it(see the awesomeios repo) to expand on the standard libraries
2 people start to FIX a stack because the implementation is broken, lacking in functionality, hard to use by itself: see okhttp, legit all the Square libs, butterknife etc etc etc and etc
From this I can conclude 2 things: people love developing for IOS because the ecosystem is nice and dev friendly, and people like to develop for Android in spite of how Google manages their API. Seriously Android is a great OS and having apps that work awesomely in spite of how hard it is to create applications for said platform just shows a level of love and dedication that is unmatched.
This is why I find it hard, and even mean to call out on one product over the other. Despite the morals behind the 2 leading companies inferred from my post, the develpers are what makes the situation better or worse.
So just fuck it and develop and use for what you want.
Honorific mention to PHP and the php developer community which is a mixture of fixing and adding in spite of the ammount of hatred that such coolness gets from a lot of peeps :P
Oh and I got a couple of mobile contracts in the way, this is why I made this post.
And I still hate developing for Android even though I love Java.3 -
Apple should have a developer version of their stupid computers. It would have Xcode already installed, and 50 Gb of extra storage space lord know how big they are gonna make that app.
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XCode is so terrible. I have to force quit it several times a day in so many use cases. I wonder why Apple cares so little about us developers. I dream with the day they’ll make XCode a good IDE. Everytime I run maps on the simulator my CPU goes to 700% and every time I checkout a branch, the thing hangs there so I have to forcf quit it 😠😫
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Fuck XCode. Worst IDE ever. Forgot to declare namespace for function in cpp file and it can't even underline it. And in addition to that, the slowest IDE!!!1
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All the iOS devs in the house, is it just me or has the latest Xcode beta taken lots of steps back in terms of stability?1
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iOS Storyboards in Xcode feels like Dreamveawer. This Autolayout and Safe Area shit doesn't make any sense. As for Xcode itself it's a monstrosity, looking forward to purging that and reclaim my disk space.
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