My mom got audited for storing sensitive client information in her gmail account without using a vpn or any other real security.

I had been telling her this was an issue for literally the last three years and shes brushed me off every time.

I got yelled at for not telling her I was serious.

I've always made this joke, but it happened for real.

There was a existing bug in our machine for a very long time. So long that the validation engineer now treats it as a feature and they raised a issue when the bug was fixed :/

I broke up with my girlfriend today

She asked me a help of a some real time issue.
What she actually want to accomplished is to copy content through mouse from one laptop, unplugged the mouse, plugging in the mouse to other laptop and trying to paste content there.

To those who say game is not an art, we paint worlds with ones and zeros in real time that you can get lost in for hours. If this is not art, nothing is.

Wow, sockets are so powerful. I can watch my server crash in real time!

Back-end as a service for Real-time applications, based on a multi-layered micro-services stack

Time Travel is real

The past 2 years where I work:

Me: hey let's use git instead of ftp!
Boss: should we?
Some time later: he is loving it...

Me: hey let's use trello instead of excell!!??!
Boss: huumm.. Dunno... Should we?
After much convincing: whole departments are using and loving it....

Me: hey let's move from rackspace to DO!
Boss: huumm... Convince me...
Year latter: everything smooth and muuuch lower prices... Managing 6 servers instead of one...

Me: UNIT TESTS!!!
Boss: nah, this but a waste of time...

For real? Get a grip man, I only encourage solutions tested ( no pun intended, or is it ) by me for a long time...

This kind of bullshit advertising is the reason everybody thinks we can do that every new whimp of the client within a few minutes.

Fuck off! Making real custom websites/apps takes time, planning, design, coding and testing. Its not just pressing a few buttons.

Translation: Make a website? 30 minutes.

recently started game development... used trigonometry and algebra for the first time in real life..

devRant is really cool for us students because it gives us an insight into the real world of developers, something which a lot of schools simply don't give you. I would recommend anyone studying software or hardware (be it at school or in spare time) to get involved.

Thanks @dfox and @trogus

Wish me luck guys I think this is it. I'm going to be financially set for real this time woohoo! Big thanks to my man billy

its amazing how far technology has come. I can edit a hi-res image in real time with a computer smaller than my hand.

Client: That loading screen is going by too fast. The customer can‘t read the slightly too long text. Add 2 more seconds to the load time.

Is this real life?

Hey fellow selfish Millenials who want to be paid for their valuable work, how's the job hunting going?

I'm a few days into hunting for some interesting part time work and I'm already encountering some real gems... Pinnacle of irony with this one.

Anyone got some horrific tales to share? This is a safe space for your anguish to finally be released, I promise.

Well, that was fast! 1 week for international shipping (Canada). Thanks dfox and trogus for the awesome swag (and for making an awesome app). Didn't even have the time to finish my 3d printed ball before I got the real one :P

As a frontend dev, i love watching our backend devs sometimes go like "hey come on it's just css I can do it real quick, let me do it this time" and get super frustrated with failure. Buddy, one of the reasons frontend is not so easy is that it can be real fucking annoying. I'm keeping my distance and respect for your side so stay the fuck away from my dance floor.

I got my first job!

A real, full-time job that doesn't pay me shit!

I haven't even graduated Uni yet!

FUCK YEAH! 🍻

Just discovered that we are loading 200k for a custom font on one of our platforms...

200k FOR A FUCKING FONT?!? FOR REAL??? ITS NOT EVEN FUCKING DIFFERENT ON SIGHT!

So I sarcastically asked why the fuck are we using it and my coworker said its because the designer designed (duh) the layout this way...

Look... Usually I'm a quiet person and I don't rant in real life but this time I could not restrain myself.

I think this is the first time that my real name is available as my username 🙆‍♂️

I officially cut ties with all my family.

Shitty, cringy, egoist people to ever exist.

They treat me like shit. Just use me as their slave all the time and when anything goes wrong, blame me for everything.

I consider you all my family now. Though we are virtual friends but you guys are better than real family.

So our company's internet was down. Network admin was really pissed as there is suppose to be a notification from the ISP about down time. Network admin called the ISP customer services to inquire about the problem and they said "Sir, we wanted to email you but our network was down too."
Admin turned from being really angry to laughing out loud real quick...

What kind of braindead motherfucker at Google thought that it's a good idea to update the bus departures in real-time based on the current time and the departure of your first bus?! No Google, I didn't miss that first bus. I took it and now I have to transfer. Ever heard of that, certified motherfucker?! You don't have to reschedule the departures of my next busses to a later time for that!!

Mate: I think we should use firebase for our project.
Me: why?, I don't think our project require firebase
Mate: I think there should be some use of firebase in our project.
Me: *madly Explains complete project architecture why we don't need real-time database*
Mate: *not accepting* there should be use of firebase, I'll think and tell you
Me: *Flips table* 😡

Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"

Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.

Getting real fucking sick of shitty websites excessive security measures!

1. Username
2. Password
3. Captcha
4. Mandatory 2FA

We don't recognize your IP, please log into your email, click the link, get redirected and complete steps 1-4 again! Also the site will time out in 10 minutes if you aren't actively using it. Have a nice day!

Go fuck yourself.

i had this weird dream. i invented a programming language that was connected to the physical world. every time an object was instantiated during runtime, a 3D printer would print this object immediately in real time, into the void of a confined space without gravitation (like a physical stack, but not like a stack). if this object was passed objects as function parameters of its methods, these little objects were printed as well and temporarily moved into the orbit of this object, orbiting it like electrons or little moons.

My career is going well. I was really prepared for a small inconsequential raise. But my manager literally doubled what I was expecting (was expecting just inflation match). Awesome 😆 now time to rapidly build a real proper emergency fund and my savings faster than ever

So day 2 of my python automations.

I have spent 6 hours and a lot of stack overflow “research” to saved myself 45 minutes a day with file downloads (web & ftp and outlook emails), excel spreadsheets and data manipulation macros, all stored in a nice tidy zip file at the end.

Now to find a way to send to a web server for digestion 😎

And all of this in a poor 90 lines 😧

God damn why didn’t I look into this earlier?

!rant

A local television station on the other side of the country has been running my software for about two years now and today I finally went to see them. (and deploy a completely rehauled version)

It was so awesome to see these people in real life for the first time. They were nice and hospitable. I'm really glad my software is contributing to what they are doing :D

When Coronavirus become a household name, our Manager said:

"This is a good to time to build a real-time chat system like Zoom. If anyone is able to build something like it, it will help our company grow."

[Silence]

Manager: "There is a lot of demand."

[More silence]

Nvidia makes real time ray tracing and a ehole bunch of graphics stuff beyond our imagination but they can't make a linux driver that actually works well... For ducks sake

Someone asked me what a full stack dev is... I replied:

"A highly sought after programmer with the world of opportunities and no time to pursue them."

I think I nailed it.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

My goals for week 200:
1. Get engaged to my girlfriend
2. Finish my ems
3. Begin plans for launching my startup
4. Leave my deadend retail job, get a real job, and actually use the degree I spent 34k to get.
5. Keep learning cool new shit.

Unspoken rule @ my work: if anyone asks if there is any specification and/or documentation available, they owe beer to everyone in hearsight... So there was a time we got around 5 new hires in a period of 2 days and guess what?! After a day or two it was a real problem to stay sober for the rest of the week. // Yes, some of them did not learn the first time 😂😂😂

Pet peeve: When people use "Jira" to mean story / task / sprint / epic.

*Real* pet peeve: When people use it with more than one of the above meanings in the same sentence.

"Will we finish this Jira (story) by the time we close the Jira (sprint) on Monday?"

Dude, wtf. I actually have to decode your sentences to figure out what you're on about. Just learn the right terminology. It's not hard.

PM+UX: The boxes must stretch to fill the all the available width with no spaces in between, they must wrap to the next line, be 200px wide...sometimes.... and there should be no scroll bars all at the same time.

Me:so you want magic boxes that can just do whatever your thinking with no real logic defined...?

So... We have a "network admin" who manages our network and the servers (windows) and I manage the Linux servers... He is having a real hard time to understand that the servers have no password but use ssh-keys to login and keep asking me for the credential to have them somewhere in case "something happens" like I quit or die...

It is time. I have to admit it.

I don't understand Git.

I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.

I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.

today I experienced real-time bug fixing and deployment..

The phone was attached to the debugger, the client is using the app, me catching the logs.
Client: oh here is wrong behavior.
Me: *tapping on keyboard, then* ok try now please..

😅

Real-time physics calculation of +250000 blocks on AMD Athlon.

No worries boys, I had fire extinguisher.

About time! Barely had any real estate left! :) Took about a month and a half. Obligatory pic!
Btw (related), thanks everyone who helped me get Debian working on here. I love it.

The first time i made my own electron app, and saw it working and displaying live data the exact way i wanted it to be doing it.

At the same time, it was the first time i felt like been a real dev in all meanings.

I'm starting a side project. This time I'm totally gonna finish it. For real. 14th time's the charm, right?

Applies for Android Internship

Supervisor: Work with this Image Processing Library to "RECOGNIZE" objects from the phones camera.

Me: Wuuuuuh....?

Supervisor: Also it should be in real time and can't use internet.

Me: But that's impossible....

Supervisor: Align your goals with the company's goal. Nothing is impossible......(gets all motivational)

Me: 😩🔫

Every time a distro defaults my editor to nano, I lose a brain cell. Why, why this crappy abomination of an editor? Distro maintainers, default to proper vim for an editor like real men! Fucking hell!

First time web developing for real. Didn't realise I needed to clear chrome cache. So much wasted time!

Client : We need real time analysis.

Me : But we can't just scrape thousands of results and process them on user's click.

Client : Don't do that, Real-time analysis is scraping it once and processing it everytime the user demands.

Me : Okay

WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!

Last day working on a project, the first time I get the real requierments..

FML

Used hashmap instead of arraylist for 13000+ entries and fetched it from hashmap. Earlier used to take 1500ms to execute and now only 500ms.. First time, optimization of code for which i can see the difference in real world.. Its a good feeling.

Would be really nice if devrant had a built in plugin for our IDE's- kinda like a scroller menu on the side :P We could rant in the office without forgetting it later. I'd call it "real-time ranting".

That moment when you execute "apt-get update && apt-get upgrade -y" just because you need time to think about how to solve the real problem.

Sometimes in the middle of the night I have awesome design ideas (for logos, UI, etc.), so I wake up, turn on my PC, open Photoshop/Illustrator/XD, and try to reproduce the thought making it a real thing.

Every fucking time the result is garbage…

“You’ll be working in a fast-paced environment…” ALWAYS means “We’re incompetent, we don’t realize it, we don’t hire enough people to spread out the workload, we don’t have a real process, and we’ll blame you, the new guy, the first time something goes wrong.”

Sweet, chilling by the beach on vacation, for the first real time in years. 👌🎉😇

#noWork, #enjoyingLife, #noDucksGiven, #ignoringWorkLikeItDoesntExist

Don't scroll here.
Go and live a real life,
Don't make a computer screen as your world,
there is a beautiful world outside of your cave,
Talk with people's face to face,
go
go
go.

Ok enough philosophy, Time to add new shit in current shitty code.
(-_-)

The real question would be. How do you get time to learn new technologies?

Every University should make it a requirement that CS and Info technology juniors and seniors spend time on devRant. It is an education in real world coding and business challenges. No surprises. Easier transition to being a pro.

Wish it were available when I was starting.

So I started writing a real time digital signal processing library in C++. Caffeine ♥️

The real heroes of our time are devs who include an uninstall target in their makefile

"Our company encourages cryptocurrency big data agile machine learning, empowerment diversity, celebrate wellness and synergy, unpack creative cloud real-time front-end bleeding edge cross-platform modular success-driven development of digital signage, powered by an unparalleled REST API backend, driven by a neural network tail recursion AI on our cloud based big data linux servers which output real time data to our Wordpress template interactive dynamic website TypeScript applet, with deep learning tensor flow capabilities.

Don't get what the fuck I just said? Udemy offers countless courses on python based buzzwords. Be the first out of 13 people to sell your soul and private information, and you'll get the first three minutes of the course free!"

If you ever feel that you have a shitty job just remember that there is a programming language called Brainfuck and at least once in time it was someone's job to debug a real program written in Brainfuck. For context, this is a 'Hello World' program in Brainfuck:

++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.

And here is the same program in the Python programming language:

print('Hello World')

Finished my internship today, turns out I won't be getting hired because upper management is cutting back due to COVID.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck, compared to the horror stories I've read here, it was beautiful. The work experience was super worth it though, despite the intern pay. Time to start looking for a real job I guess.

So im making an app that tracks you real time and sends spooky pictures of your frequented locations (scp 1471, if anyone is familiar with scps), and totally forgot about that it self triggers daily, so when i wanted to check the time, i nearly shat myself. The google logo makes it infinitely more scary.

Android Nougat's easter egg is cool. Not because of the result but your real time involvement​.

A technology focussed recruitment consultant took great pride in recalling the first time he met a "real life developer". He was wearing a suit. Developer was wearing a Slipknot t-shirt. It was a defining moment for him.

Think he released a little man jelly in excitement.

Tips n' Tricks #1: how to distinguish real friends from fake ones

Answer: with a real one you don't end up talking about their last computer issues each time you interact with them

Finally after a couple of years, we finally finished our game for... Windows phone. When we started the only real choice was to develop in silverlight.

Now silverlight has been discontinued and microsoft released uwp, no real help to convert to uwp (I know mobilize bridge exists, but it is not very good) since many features does not exist yet in uwp :/

But hey that's expected right? But couldn't microsoft at least ensure performance of silverlight apps on win10 mobile??? We have used a lot of time optimizing that the game runs smoothly on crap phones on wp8.1, but highend phones on win10 lags....

Thanks microsoft for taking a change :/

Old PS2 controller + Windows 10 = Twin USB Controller, sensitivity working

Controller + DiRT 4/Project Cars 2 = still end up last against Easy AIs

Maybe I just suck at driving and playing real time games...

Well at least I don't spend $50 buying a controller...

I'm about to take my first real vacation in about a year. One of the things I'm most looking forward to? Time to work on personal projects.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

Time travel is real ...reading magazines of the future today ..thanks to JIO

This burnout shit is real. Time to take some vacation time.

not really a rant;
But I am a real fan of sci-fi stuff, and yesterday I tried star citizen for the first time (been backer since 2012).
I have not slept yet

Brought my mechanical keyboard to work for the first time, I think they're gonna get tired of the constant CLACKA-CLACKA-CLACKA real soon

Every time I tell someone my major they respond the same way: “I know your job prospects look good! I need my computer fixed right now...”

Yeah, let me write you a script real quick that will fix the screen you busted when yo sat on your laptop.

Definetly signing in and out of my companies time tracking system.
It only works in internet explorer 8 and is a real pain -.-

You know it is time you get a real life when you search for "Windows explorer dark theme"

First real break since I started programming in 2011. Best time ever.

Programming is awesome, but doing other things too, sometimes even more.

Dev ducks. I don't have one, but I'll get one.
I've always talked to the people around me when I was debugging but now it's time to talk to a "real" duck.

Fuck node. Learn to get some real fucking error messages. Ain't nobody got time for that shit

I've written two different real time audio resampling algos (called on source and called on target) using linear interpolation, both in typescript, both work on first try and both perform great. I feel like the omniscient god of web audio processing.

For productivity I get to work at 5:30 and code until 8:30 before I open my emails for the first time. That's when my real job starts as a Project Manager (in the throes of teaching himself to code at age 37)

CTO for the picture.

This is so real, people are having a bad time because of the covid-19, productivity could be affected by this, my colleagues are having a hard time since they cant realy separate work from work anymore, the situation is hard as it is, i hope we all get through this.

Please Give Loving Comments below so i can show this to my dev/non dev friends that are having a hard time.

There was a time when backend engineers used to make fun of frontenders and tell them 'you arent a real software engineer', nowadays frontend is getting so complex and cool that even backenders are now starting to learn frontend. I am so happy that because of new tech and frameworks frontend has gained such a massive respect.

That moment when the CEO teaches you how "real programmers" spend 20% time in coding, and other 80% in writing company wikis, updating documentations and attending meetings.

Java errors: if something is underlined in red in the IDE then it is a real error for sure

TypeScript errors: if something is underlined in red in the IDE then 50% of the time it is some 🤡 sh*t

!rant

how long do you guys code per day?

being a student i have now extreme difficulties in time management😐

need some advice...

I know most of you know this, but after having dealt with both recruiters and real companies I can safely say that recruiters are of no practical value.

I've wasted countless months of my life interacting with recruiters and getting nothing out of them. To me it seems they're only after fluffing their client base.
The only time I got a job was through the real companies themselves.

Now I have learned the lesson: stay away from recruiters.

I'm currently watching the "it was my idea, I should get half the revenue" conversation play out in real time... For someone else.

I had the sense to turn down this "fantastic business opportunity"

Random thought:
I rarely see emojis on devrant and most of the time I see them, they are used in a rather cringe-full way. There are some posts however, which use emojis in a way I like, for example to replace the client's name.

But my favorite emoji is still the shrug emoji, not the Unicode shrug emoji, but the *real* shrug emoji. ¯\_( ツ)_/¯

We got degrees celcius below 0, even a bit of snow laying around and the train is NOT half an hour late.
Can this be?
Is this the real world?
Normally they go "oh, could be snowing today, let's fuck that shit up"
I would say, today there is even a small chance that I get where I want to go SOMEWHAT IN TIME, yeah!😅

“You know what is not fungible, scarce and valuable to me? My time! So if you wish to persuade me NFT are a good thing, you should pay me a fair amount of real money to make me listen your bullshit”

From now on this will be my standard reply to NFT harassment.

Feel free to use, edit and share with others.

Can you make me just a simple site? Only a few pages..... It won't take you long, we're family too so how about I pay 10% of the real cost??

Weeks of personal free time lost, and a fully fledged eCommerce site 28 pages deep with CMS controlled everything later....

With the help of obs virtual camera, now I can join meeting like this

It’s real time not just a video, idk if gif works correctly on devrant now, but it’s me dancing

Edit: apparently gif still doesn’t work on devrant

Had my junior test at work yesterday, and...oh boy. I don't think I've ever been so stressed in my life.

>inb4 "welcome to the real world kid"

Yeah yeah I know but god damn, this was too much. I heard from seniors that you get used to everyday stress, it comes with the job, but junior test ( aka "stress test") is the breaking point for most "new" arrivals.

The test itself tho is not even that hard. Dealing with so much stress and time pressure for the first time is what gets you. Not knowing what happens if you don't pass certainly doesn't help.

I broke down at one point and even after finishing, going home (got no sleep) and coming back today, that feeling of hopelessness is still there.

No real point to this rant, I just needed to vent

Do you know guys why a programming bug is called so? It's because the very first time a software crashed it was because of a bug ( a real bug stuck in a bus on the machine!) That caused that 😂 imagine if something else was stuck instead! Like someone's​finger : hey I fixed that finger but still got 2 critical fingers and 4 small ones

Sometime we forget who we really are.

We aren't dumb guys with no future and it's time to remember this to yourself.

We're losing time in our lives, let's just use it as we think is better to.

I think reactjs is an actual cult. Not like one, not similar to one, but a real actual cult.

They have magical thinking, deny reality, blindly follow whatever new things there is, rationalize insane things, require immense time commitments, have an elitist attitude, it's an actual real life cult.

Forgive me devLords, for I have sinned.

Today, I took while() loop and made it true, it was a dirty ordeal, however it's not entirely my fault, you see the api I called doesn't have a webhook of any kind and doesn't return results in real time either, you have to poll for them..... so here I am writing while(true){} to poll for results that could take seconds or even hours to finish.

😟

Even though I've done this, I still get a real chuckle every time I see this.

Life sucks REAL-TIME...

!(isRant(thisPost));

Submitted my third pull request today in just a couple months as an intern, got told I'm doing a great job and already being considered to move to a more in depth dev team. Honestly a dream come true. Great company, great people, and I have a solid shot at a REAL full time dev position after college. I'm so happy man all that work finally paying off.

Just figured out that while I was on vacation they made a really well thought (not) decision to switch to Firebase despite having 4 fully managed VPS with low usage.

Wanna know what the big deal is?
The only one who looks like knows anything is the fucking intern.

I was trying to understand the thought process and everything revolved around "its real time" argument.

No one knows how the api really works, the benefits of "real time" , and we are using the free plan :)

Yeah... People really do overthink things here...

Had my first official coding interview for a "real" developer position! Really is a different experience. So much to do and so little time.

Overall I feel like it went well. Hope I get some good news soon 🤞

So an app I use for real-time train schedules broke last week and the official app is really slow, UI is bloated/bad devs.

I figured out the HTTP calls so started writing my own, spent 2 days and basic functionality works but...

Now the other app is working again...

Feels like wasted effort now :(

Some minutes ago our firewall in office overheated, no internet, no network, no real way to work some time for coffee and nerd talk - not bad at all

Most ridiculous reason you have been sacked...go!

Had a 1:1 about performance, said i was not performing well, showed them proof, they took the proof and sacked me anyway.

The real reason because the fuck headed lead dev stepped over the line for the last time and i laid into him pretty hard.

I honestly don't understand people who genuinely believe formal schooling will cover all the basics they need to know to do a real-life job, and still get barely passing grades on all relevant subjects.

I genuinely don't understand people who copy GitHub projects to pass classes, and graduate from a university with goddamn StackOverflow instead of a brain.

Whom I understand even less are people who don't do anything major-related on their spare time.

I mean, change your fucking major, do what you actually like, do things that actually light your nuts with passion.

Please don't waste my time pretending you are in it not just because it's potentially well-paid and "cool".

Please don't waste my time being my coworker.

Yes, I'm looking at you, trendy wanker with a CS degree and no personal projects.

P.S. Junior here. Yes, I'm full of hatred for all the "real programmers" in the industry out there. I hoped for a better experience.

P.S.S. I mean absolutely no offense to people using either GitHub or StackOverflow outside of the aforementioned context.

Fought with the Windows Disk Manager for way too long this morning trying to shrink a partition with plenty of space so that I could setup a native dual boot...

Screw that tool, I resized the partition to nothing by formatting it.

On the real, like if I’m being completely honest and serious…

And I’m not joking around here…

Not pulling your string tight…

Not yankin your yonker at all…

But being stoney bologna and watching fireworks has got to be the COOLEST and SICKEST fucking thing of all time…

Starting my first real dev position Monday. Scared about using a windows computer for dev for the first time but stoked.

My rant is against myself that I didn't switch jobs earlier.

It's a real nice feeling when you figure out the answer to your own stackoverflow question as you're typing it out.
Not gonna make myself look like an idiot this time! No-sir-ee.

The first time I saw "Real Feel" or "Feels Like" on the weather app, I thought that number was calculated by someone going out of their home every hour or so and reporting what it feels like outside. I thought this would be a perfect job for someone who spends a lot of time at home...

Most of my time coding in Javascript goes to handling null checks and fixing crashes caused due to missed null checks.
`"abc" is undefined` is an error which I must have seen more number of times than any other bug in console and even in real life.

I wrote a Rust script in 10 minutes or so that processes several GiB's big ISO files and it calculates its values so fast, that most time is spent waiting for the HDD! Look at the CPU usage and the disk read/write stats :D

(No, the picture is not fake, it's a real screenshot from my desktop edited with Gimp)

Just wish I could swap a portion of my dev super powers for something more f’king practical like being able to do DIY or mix cement and lay bricks properly.
Every damn time there’s some small job to be done it turns into a god damn nightmare.
Anyone else as single skilled as me or can you actually do real world skills too?

Apple acting like real time collab is new technology. Deary me

I have a coworker who talks the most during scrum and not saying anything of substance or actionable in that whole time. He answers questions with a sentence paraphrasing the questions putting himself in a third person, waived him of responsibilities, but acknowledging the issue in the asked questions without providing any real solutions, leaving us looking at each other wondering wtf just said. But all knows too well not to ask a follow up questions. Or you gonna be here a while.

Utter waste of my time.

Delivered a website to a client, pagespeed results 99 on both mobile and desktop (just 1 minus point for implementing Google analytics- since it has a too low caching time). Client insists on having a 100 pagespeed result even it doesn't change real pagespeed ... -.-

Emailed my PM a new project spec, the next morning he emails me back saying, to stop wasting time and get back to "real" work.

A few days later we had a Skype meeting with senior management and the PM who rejected the spec to go over that same spec document among other projects, everyone agrees it's a good idea including the PM :D

FML.

A music community! A Real world one with tech to organize it.

Actually working on it with finite time and money

90% of my time at work is spent debugging and fixing a horrible mess of years-old legacy spaghetti. The only "real" coding I do is my personal hobby projects at home.

When I was assigned to develop my first app with web sockets. Since I fall in love with reactive programming and real-time applications.

studied node.js (express) and socket.io today, then implemented a real time chat service in our site. I can say that this is the best and at the same time worst day of my life. I started 1:00 pm and ended 4:30 am.

Finally going to start publicizing my first real open source project. Nervous and excited at the same time.

Stop wasting time setting up continuous integration environment and get on with real work.

2 days later: why aren't we using continuous integration, the plan says we have to.

Getting real tired of people posting meetings only for you to join when they end. How hard is it to have you meeting at the time you set it for? Holy shit!

Alright wish me luck boys and girls, actually started development on my first 'proper' application, building an sms client using the push bullet API for elementary OS...

First time using Vala, first time building something that isn't game or web related in a real world environment...

The U in CRUD is a real downer. I reinvent it every time.

Always, always, with every estimate in time or resources you or your pm/manager/whatever thinks to need. Multiply that number by pi.

That's a more real-world estimate.

In the mood of doing nothing because I have so much shit going on. Anyone knows that feeling?

Also so many (cool) projects I would like to do but no motivation to start anything... I have no real reason to... I’m just waiting for motivation to come back one day - but it has been a long time.. :(

Had a 5 hour call today, where we wanted to set up a system from one of our subcontractors in our own environment. Struggled forever to get the backend up and running.
Turns out that some dependencies were hardcoded as local file URLs...
No, our linux machine does not have C:\Users\<username> 🙄

LIRR system rant 2 - there is a thing called a sensor. Can you please paste them on your trains so we know on a real-time map where the train is. If it's 8 miles away when supposedly 'on time' we don't have to freeze on the platform. It's 2016 not 2007.

So here I am trying to Code a Rick Astley video on my website so 2 people can watch it in real-time but the code KEEPS DOING THE PART THAT I SPECIFICALLY TOLD IT NOT TO DO UNTIL I GET THE TIME FROM THE GOD DAMN DATABASE!!!!

Spent like 5 hours today installing, configuring, and playing with phpstorm. first time I've used a real ide type program and wow, I replaced 5 programs with this I would use at the same time.

filezilla (ftp), rapidphp (code), mysql workbench, cmd prompt (node, gulp, sass), and source tree (git)

I wish there was an api that tracked how many farts are getting blasted into office chairs around the world in real time

They say nightmares are bad, but have you ever solved a bug that was bothering you for a long time in your dream, only to wake up and realize it wasn't real? Worst feeling ever. And this happened three nights in a row. For three different bugs. You would think that after the first two nights I would know better, but yet again I was fooled.

I went to a Java community conference for the first time and I honestly nearly teared up. It’s been a few years since I’ve actually seen actual hard core engineering with real considerations on memory etc. I felt like all I do all day is get blocked by red tape when I do my job.

God, it felt refreshing to see the reason I got into programming still exists.

"so what's the difference? there are groups and communities for devs, why devRant ?" It was my colleague's question and I was about to loose the debate between this and other social n/w.
I said "look man the greatest thing is you can build a DP that looks like a geek programmer, whatever you look like in real time doesn't even matter."
And he said "Let me see your profile."

Feeling bad, a woman on the street just asked me for money. I said I don't have cash. Then she said just a sandwich and I continued repeating no without any time to think if that was real. Maybe she was really hungry. I turned back but she disappeared.

Why the fuck does a windows server 2016 guest with ballooning service on proxmox take the full 10GB RAM from the host I assign to it?

I have installed all the virtio drivers and it does show in the guest summary itself the real usage of 1GB RAM, but if I check in htop or the datacenter summary, it shows the usage is 10/11GB all the time.

First time ran a simple app on real iOS device

At work I am "the" programmer and is the first time in which I actually enjoy showing different solutions to problems without having a fear of implementing large things without having any form of recognition.

Seeing someone get happy because of something you created is a great feeling and even tho most of us are misantrophic af we can still appreciate bringing happiness through code.

To me, software engineering is the closest thing to magic and I really believe that.

Two days ago I showed my manager a little utility to build small portions of the site we are building and make changes to it in real time without browser refreshes for whatever change she would like to do. She was super happy and excited and it made me feel real happy.

Such great feeling man. Nothing but good vibes brother!!

Definitely the first time I saw real time data from a backend on a webapp. Something so magical about it actually working and me maybe not being a total dumbass.

FAVOURITE real time face recognition library?

When you finish a project that abuses vanilla js and canvas for real-time updates on tables generated from drag actions in a graphic (no raphael, paperjs or konvas) and test it in IE 😄
Thank god it's going to be applied in a controlled environment... a real browser can be used 😇

is there a google docs for ides? like, real time editing where you can collab while you are?

i think that would be cool.

anyone else?

wk8 responses so far have been WEAK.
Most of them follow the format:

I did <some minor mistake> but fortunately I was able to <make a quick fix> within <short period of time> so everything turned out ok.

Come on guys, where are the REAL fuck ups? The ones that got you fired/permanently banned from the company?

TFW the mock class has way more code than the real one.
Testing big infrastructures can be a pain...
Or maybe my team is just not so good at it.

My time spent:
Adding new feature to the real class 15%
Extending the mock with the same feature 55%
Writing tests 30%

So... in the last few months i shared the office with a real estate company. I didnt pay rent and in exchange i would help them with different stuff.... on monday i will be moving into my own office again... damn it was a hard period of time and i want to thank devRant for helping me keep my sanity. THANK YOU!

Sooo TIL:
Running software that is still in development and it uses realtime jackd is a REALLY BAD IDEA. I could not even kill the damn thing! Thankfully shutdown -r now worked...

When you use Git for the first time and your project from 29 commit jump to 62 for continous error with Pull Request.

Of this new 33 commit, only 3 are REAL commit.

Four hour for reset and fix all The master branch.

But finally all is fixed and i've learned more on Git... (?)

- VueJS
- Develop a cross platform app
- Try get job overseas, pref in Switzerland
- be self employed using my dev powers
- make my bike connected to internet. Dev a real-time dashboard. Try to add consciousness to bike.

A certain custom template engine made by some bored developer who had too much free time and thought he could create something better than other widely used template engines. He somehow convinced the lead dev of the company at that time to use his wonderful creation and it is still there after many years.

Spoilers: it is not better than the template engines he copied the features from, and it somehow fucks up certain parts of the css and javascript which makes it a real pain in the ass to work with.

Fuck, now I'm actually somewhat mad how much time those figma plugins could've saved me lol.

Especially things like generating a quick color palette, that immediately pastes them next to the element are so damn useful.

Generating real-life data into text elements, avatars pulled right from an API, auto fetched graphs for example data, all the goodies that make life easier.

Imagine if socket.io's website is ugly. Having a beautiful image helps a lot, too. When I hear socket.io, I would immediately think of that clean and aesthetically pleasing site.

Had far too sparetime and found out that Wix wasn't making real websites. Found out that a pretty cool tool named "inspector" existed and then I was in. I used all the time I could afford by taking courses, study and get a small job last summer. Then I became a member of devRant aaaaand then my productivity decreased dramatically 😁

As if it wasn't bad enough, that jase is killing his account - each time his weatherstation detects rain, now theres atleast 6 jase, because I think he missed out creating an account and somebody was faster than him, so which jase, is the real jase, itsjase,vstjase,jase,...?

Im curious to know how people organise their workspace on windows.

I learned coding with linux.

I scored my first real job and they use mac. All good.

But at home i game and sometimes i feel like coding/gaming at the same time. But fark i hate the terminal.

How do you make it more ho my zsh/ linux terminal comfortable?

I am trying to install eclipse for college

Windows defender blocked it because it found malware virus in it

Disabled windows defender

Waste my time to download again

Kaspersky blocked it because it found multiple trojans

Kaspersky saved my computer over 30 times from real damaging viruses

Disable kaspersky too

Waste my time squared download eclipse again

Open eclipse

Import tomcat v8

Eclipse crashes

Getting real tired of your shit, JavaScript. I sincerely love and hate the language, its so flexible at the same time that flexibility will give you nightmares, I swear to god I'll never recommend Node.js for any big projects, right now the same flexibility is killing our project.

Oh lord, have mercy.

My whitewashed LinkedIn profile keeps getting harassed by recruiters when no one looks at my real LinkedIn profile under my Chinese name.

To save everyone's time typing fuck you because I am using LinkedIn. I will type it for you: fuck me.

Job advertisement : C++, C#, mysql... / Interview : C#, mysql...

Real life : working one year (part time) on a prototype which had been used (I hope it still not the case) on prod. And by the way it was in VBA :D At the end the file did several Go, empty :D

First real job in a business, that's good memories :p

not sure if stack overflow mods are real developers/technicians or Garmmar Naz*s...
impatiently one usually waits for an answer after posting, once you get a notification for an activity on your post you later find out someone took their time only to fix your English.

" Under the hood... the program is using a mix of condition-based learning, procedural generation of sentences/questions, and relational queries based on weighted 'topic' identifiers. It can create its own original statements and questions. It is real-time, and it really does 'think' (an internal dialogue feedback loop)." = If Statement

I saw this in the description for an app aclled "Real AI"

Hello guys!

Some context: our subject thesis is: "Benchmarking of IoT OS". We decided to narrow down the subject to a benchmarking of real-time OS. Examples of RTOS: Contiki, RIOT, ...

As there are no such papers on the subject out there, we are looking for some people/communities that could help us answer our questions.

Thank you for your time!

My department never has real pressure like real outside deadlines. Except for this project.
Now guess what happened during the final hours of the project:
Fuckin circleCI goes into "degraded performance" (last time it was "partial outage").
I feel like calling my friends Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels over for some late night work. :P

Video game. Nothing but a final boss fight right from the start. Boss has infinite health. There is no time limit. If you die in the game, you die in real life.

That's what it's like to live with bipolar disorder.

For the love of god PLEASE keep yourself away from emotional stress and trauma.

Fuck you WooCommerce and fuck you shopify, also a big fuck you to every developer who thinks it's a good idea to notify other customers about what another customer just bought in real time.

Guess fucking what. I don't fucking care what uncle deadinthehead just bought. Get fucking raped in a columbian prison and die to aids infested rain..

Today, I used a curry function for the first time outside the context of a classroom/assignment, to solve a real-world problem. boy do I love functional programming.

Data scientists unite!
I am working on a face recognition solution to identify and tag different faces in real time and currently using chinese whispers algorithm for clustring. The more I think about it the more inadequate it sounds (number of faces encoded increase over time thus the complexity). I've heard about YOLO but cant really decide. Please enlighten me!

First rant!!
I've got into an impasse.
I'm working as a mobile developer for one of the well known multinational corporations. I am working here for 1.5 years, it's my first job and I'm already a team leader. It doesn't mean that this is my programming experience. The problem is that I'm feeling that this job stops me from growing on personal plan. I have no more time to work on my personal projects, i have no real portfolio, projects made for the company cannot be included in my portfolio and so on. And also the payment isn't real good so i can't quit and allocate my full time to my own projects. And without a good portfolio i can't get my own customers.

What do you guys would do in my situation.

"Courier tracking websites - the thrill of refreshing for 'real-time' updates, deciphering error messages, and navigating through a UI designed by a caffeine-fueled coder on a psychedelic trip. It's like playing hide-and-seek with my package! Can we please simplify and speed up this tracking game, dear coding wizards?"

!rant

Golang Backend + Supabase = ❤️

I feel like a freaking 🧙‍♂️ built a real-time chart in an hour!

I first time listened to medium story reader. The voice was so real. I don't believe it's not a human voice.

I finally did it. I installed Arch linux + Unity 3D + VSCode + budgie + vertex + sddm-deepin in virtualbox....

What a fucking journey and a half that was.
Now to install on an ssd for real...

My thoughts on the process:

1.) This is not for the faint of heart.
2.) Be preapred to devote some time getting it all right.
3. This was actually quite a rewarding process.

I can't find a website I used years ago... maybe someone here remembers its name.

It was a place with daily code challenges, real time code battles, you had to fix bugs, syntax errors, you could choose different programming languages, and receive points based on the number of chars used to fix the issue, etc.

I hope it still exsits, it was really fun.

Thanks in advance!

This is what happens when you don't use compression on messages in a real time backend (with RabbitMQ)

Life would be so much better with real-time testing

120fps and 240fps filming isn't just for slow motion playback, but recent smartphones have 120 Hz screens so those videos can finally be watched as ultra-smooth motion with audio.

If only all smartphones encoded high-framerate videos in real-time with the same framerate recorded from the image sensor instead of stupidly slowing down when encoding.

Granted, this is a thing Apple has always done right: they encoded their "slow motion" videos in real-time and let the user select the slowed-down portions during playback!

Let the user set their preferred playback speed in the video editor, don't dictate that 1× playback speed is 1/4 of real-life speed. 1× playback speed must be 1× real-life speed to clear up all confusion.

Besides, laptops with 120 Hz screens existed as early as 2011 (Samsung 700G7A)!.

PSA: surpise-sending play-by-play instructions via chat on how to answer questions in a phone interview happening IN REAL TIME is not helpful and makes me look like a blubbering idiot

thanks but no thanks

I fuck get angry when I try to teach my real close mates like my family about computers or some basic things, but I am fuck relaxed and more human and take time to teach the same shit to total strangers. Am I dumb sick or what. Fuck me.

I'm currently working on a project in my spare time for which I haven't yet written much “real” code; it primarily consists of nothing other than extremely bare-bones pseudocode (hell, one of the lines literally reads “DO SOMETHING WITH THE API”), and it's already at a length of over 6KB. This is going to be a long-ass project.

Spent almost a month writing real time sync between two platforms for client. Changed it n times to fit their custom conditions. They tested it for real time sync.
Now suddenly their requirement is to have scheduled sync and it is "As we discussed in the beginning".

Real time calculations don't work because the values come in too late... I love this project

Applications are now made vertical scrolling and everytime you refresh, it stimulate to be a slot machine . So it's basically a feeling of gambling that keeps you up and motivated all the time.
Phone applications are now turning into infinity novelty machine - machine that promises you some reward that never comes but it always could come , but in real never will .

Must've been when I coded something of the core module of a game... into and with the test interface.
I was reminded that by my colleague who initially made this and spent a huge ton of time more than anyone else on the project. I felt a bit powerless while trying to assist in that, but I also felt bad about that error of mine.

...

That or that time when I set my whole system to protected and read-only during a system programming exercise because it ran out of memory real fast.