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Well here's how I see things going:
Intel and AMD ditch their assembly architectures for Scratch, because drag and drop is very popular lately.
The Boolean is renamed to the biggot by SJW leaders for only supporting binary views.
You must first ask consent to add an item to a linked list, because forcing two items together promotes rape culture.
Apple removes the "h" and "7" keys on all laptop models and gives no reason for their actions.
Linus Torvalds grows an extra middle finger, and it still isn't enough.
Nintendo makes Mario gay and Luigi black to be more inclusive.
LG makes a curved monitor that curves away from you rather than towards you. People buy it in confusion.
Everyone makes the same ad revenue on YouTube, and it is rebranded to OurTube. Luckily, they were able to keep the color scheme.
People finally realize that machine learning is just math, and stop using it everywhere. (Just kidding lol)
AMD and Gucci merge. Nobody understands why.22 -
Client: We want a mobile shooting game with multiplayer, In-app purchases, leaderboard and stuff and you should also help us in publishing it.
Me: Cool what’s you budget?
Client: max $100.
I never replied again.16 -
I don't get 50 shades of grey.
They should have called it: "256 shades of gray unless you're on 10bit HDR, then its 1024 shades of grey"
That would have made much more sense9 -
Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)
Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.
(2 hours later)
N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.
This guy is collector.3 -
Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them
Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company6 -
This annoying fuck is the single most hated guy on youtube PERIOD.
Every time I try to watch a tutorial or some gameplay demo this fucking cunt comes up with his piece of shit game dev course.
28 -
Why the hell do people call smartphones by Apple "iPhones"?! Whenever people call their phones iPhones I start calling my phone by the model number.
Idiots: Oh no! I've lot my iPhone 7s!
Me: Oh no! I've lost my Oppo A37f pink edition!
See, sounds stupid right? Imagine it in everyday life!
-We're packing for camp! You! Take your North Face N638 grey
-Done!
-You, other guy! You will ride your BMX X Black!
See? It does sound stupid!
TL;DR
If you're saying iPhone, you're a fucking idiot. (it's like saying Googling instead of searching the internet)39 -
My own language, hence my own parser.
Reinvented the regular expression before realizing it already existed (Google didn't exist at the time).
I'm a living reference for regular expressions since then.7 -
If a teamviewer sessions counts as "screenshare", I've got a good one.
The company I'm working for also got an internal video player in the webfrontend of it's product. A customer called in, because the player "stays black", instead of playing his videos. It's a player for a media library of the customer, so it can be any content. A collegue did some trouble shooting, but since the customer was not very experienced in IT they arranged a teamviewer session. At the appointed time, my collegue called the customer and asked him to reproduce the issue, while watching via teamviewer.
When opening the media player, it stayed black indeed, so my collegue asked the customer to try another video. From my desk I heard my collegue say "Oh god, no" (phone muted) pretty loudy and he asked us to come to his place quickly. The customer decided, it would be a good idea to try the video player with gay porn. So we stood there around my collegues desk, watching a hairy man, getting his asshole licked by another an even hairier man for a few secs.
The customer stopped the playback, said "ok, maybe the other file was just broken.", thanked my collegue and the call was over.
We had a few similar cases.5 -
@dfox I just want to say thank you !
Most of my friends are not devs at all. Thanks to you, I can share my adventures to people that actually understand what I'm talking about.
This is priceless.9 -
!rant, a success story.
I made a tool for a live streamer I like, for free. Something to find highlights in a VOD based on the chatlog.
It took me around 15h to make. It is a very simple electron app, the "valuable" code is ~70 lines.
I wasn't sure he would even bother to try it.
Anyways, I send it to him. 10 minutes later, the guy tells me that "this is amazing! You just saved me hours of derushing my streams ❤️"
That's great already, but it does not end there. A few minutes later he asks me "I know other streamers that would love it, can I share? And can I add you in our private discord?"
I have now a direct access to some of the best youtubers/streamers in my country 🤩.4 -
FUCK GOOGLE.
FUCK THE GOOGLE PLAY REVIEW TEAM.
FUCK THEIR BOT GENERATED EMAILS.
FUCK THEIR DEVELOPER SUPPORT.
I am trying to launch a fucking action game. There will be fucking guns and muzzle flashes shown in the screenshots. Stop fucking rejecting the app. There is no blood in the icon or screenshots. Stop sending me bot generated emails and tell me what content is being flagged.
A little information on the whole scenario: My game was rejected so immediately I contacted the support as to what was the issue. The guy told me 2 screenshots were flagged because they had the muzzle flashes and damage indicator (call of duty type which tells the direction from where the bullets are coming from). So I removed the screenshots and still the game was rejected. FUCK THESE ASSHOLES. SAME GOES FOR APPLE.9 -
My first unintentional "hack" was in middle school, I had been programming for a couple years already and I was really bored.
My school had blocked facebook, twitter and so on because most students are lazy and think everything revolves around their "descrete" cleavage picture's likes. Any way, I thought most would be naive and desperate enough to fall into a "Facebook unblocked" app at the desktop, the program was fairly simple just a mimicking FB page done on C# ASP that saved user and passwords in an encrypted file.
I distributed it in around 5 computers and by the end of the month I had over 60 accounts, and what did I do? I used it to post a gay relationship between two of my friends on fb (one had a gf), it was dumb but boy did I laughed, after that I erased everything as it didn't seem so important.
3 -
Everyone's ranting about Intel being gay with design so I'll just drop a scratchpad I made during Computer programming class
4 -
I applied for a job in a small gaming company. They rejected me by saying they can’t hire students.
I was cool with it because they didn’t waste my time and told me their decision right away. I started my own gaming company.
Fast forward 6 months later I went back with a business proposition. They accepted it. Its been 8 months now. Everything is going smooth.13 -
Sadly to say, but devrant is slowly moving away from dev part of its name, even rant part.
More I see posts about this tech sucks vs that tech sucks. That being annoying, would be fine, not for me, but fine.
The worse part are the memes. Repost memes, not funny, though, maybe funny to some, still no effort reposts.
Even worse are posts that have nothing to do with dev. Like recent post about soldiers and gay people (maybe you saw it). Why the hell post it here?
Going down are the ++ beggers, sadly I see even more of them.
Yes I understand I can just leave this platform.
I just wanted to express these mixed feelings I have been getting for my once favorite place to read about other devs experience.16 -
Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.
Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.
Or i could polish up some of my older sites.
....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.4 -
Ah yes, Brave, the browser that "respects your privacy" has started putting ads directly *in* the browser.
When they introduced Brave Rewards and people were confused why I was upset, it's because I knew it was a slippery slope to toward this sort of thing.
EDIT: Turns out, the ad is targeted towards LGBT people. As an LGBT person who just wants to live life in peace, this shit aggravates me even more. First, corporations are not your friends. They do not care about you. It's virtue signalling. Second, it's a bit ironic seeing as how Brenden Eich made Brave. If you don't already know, Brenden Eich (also creator of javascript) is pretty anti-gay.
So many things wrong with this. Can't wait to stop leasing away my devices' resources to advertisers.
27 -
The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...
R - retard
M - me
R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...
I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.14 -
That moment when your manager tells you that he's okay with ultra-flexible schedules, because "I trusts you 100%. You proved your value, please come late if you prefer"
I love my job11 -
Just watched The imitation game, the movie about Alan Turing. Really doesn’t help me to keep faith in humanity when you see that the guy who helped win WWII, saved about 14 million lifes AND is at the origin of all computers has been pushed to suicide because he was gay.
On those sad words, if you’ll excuse me, I now have to code an enigma machine, a Turing machine and then try to code something to break the enigma.7 -
Wanna attend the developer conference?
White and male? Pay half a grand.
Female? Black? LGBTQIA? You get a free ticket!
Seriously, how would they verify if you are gay?
It appears to me that it's easily exploitable.51 -
My wife wouldn't stop asking me to help her with FB. As a joke I told her if she didn't quit, I'd delete it (Tech stuff goes over her head like a 747). Well, she kept on so I opened up the Dev tools. I started by adding just some non sense to one of the divs. She saw it pop up on screen and was like "Wait...you can really do that?" then I highlighted the body tag and hit backspace. The whole thing disappeared, it was great. She legit freaked out for a minute and begged me to fix it. I popped up the console and started typing random things. Created an array with some mumbo-jumbo, a couple of quick, meaningless functions and snuck hitting Ctrl+R in there, refreshing the page. She was so happy that Facebook worked again, that she stopped asking me how to do whatever it was7
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So due to contracted work I am in a team internal chat, yesterday morning I woke up to a notification with a full group tag with "we need to remove all fags, they don't work out the way we planned" - he meant to type tags - there's two members that are gay and got hired just recently lol9
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When the impostor syndrome hits me, I try to remember my achievements :
- I won a national coding contest when I was 18,
- I made and still maintain a complex app for 15 years, still actively used,
- I cannot count the number of languages I know; too many of them...
Not bragging here, btw. It's just important to actually enumerate your achievements.
If you get hit by the IS, just remember what you did 😉.12 -
Making ciri from the witcher upcoming tv series a black asian minority ( although she has has elf blood . Elfs are white not black ).
Master/slave controversy.
Introducing random gay movie scenes just for the sake of diversity.
What's next ? Making a documentary about linus torvalds with him being a black asian gay feminist ?8 -
Manager: We have a new equity survey from HR that is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY. Anyone who doesn’t fill it out will be severely reprimanded for being against diversity in the workplace. We need this data in order to ensure we have the ABSOLUTELY EXACT ratio of EVERY minority so that we can show the people that we do not discriminate against ANYBODY for ANYTHING. One of the problems with hiring new people is that most people we want to hire turn out to be white and we are absolutely not allowed to hire any more white people because we are over the quota for white people. Now there’s a loophole to this, if that white person belongs to some sub-minority like they are muslim or gay or something like that it’s totally cool and we can show people we don’t discriminate on these things when making employment decisions!
Dev: That’s…not wh—
Mandatory Survey: Please select your sexual preferences and/or religion from the dropdown below.
Dev: jesus christ.16 -
Thanks to @bigus-dickus and @duckWit I remembered how a client during an interview once asked me to change all globes on his webpage (imagine something like attached, just with globes all over the place) to a green palette, because according to him "blue" means being gay in russian and that was the cause for people not hitting the landing page and not signing up anymore.
5 -
!rant
Many dev ranting that apple is reached $1T by selling stupid connector's...... and other shit.
I am not apple product owner.
But Today I want to salute steve jobs.
A person without college degree,drug addiction,guilt of adopted son,financial issue's without any god father........................
Created one company.
Kicked out from own company.
Joinned again.
developed such policy in company that every one should follow.
took retirement due to cancer and all right's transfer to A Gay CEO.
and
now that company reached $1T.
Really fucking motivational thing.
Nothing is impossible.26 -
!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!1 -
Backend colleague : the API is online. It's tested and working, you can start the dev.
Me trying to manually call the API with all the fields pre validated : "error : invalid fields"
EVERY. FUCKING. TIME !
To all the backend developers : we are NOT your personal testers, and we are NOT supposed to clean your mess because you're too lazy to FUCKING TEST THE HAPPY PATH!!!
Thank you for your consideration.5 -
Dates are f***ing annoying, we humans deal with them in such a weird way. It's almost impossible to define a algorithm dealing with them consistently.8
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I hate setting up case statements cause it's hard to cover every case. What if a virus puts a gun to my programs head? What if my program is at a cache party and chrome offers it weed? What if my program isn't gay, but $20 is $20?2
-
Me: okay brain! We had our morning coffee. We're ready to work. Lots of things to do today.
Brain: yay! I feel unstoppable! Can't wait for logic problems and amazing things we're going to build! What's the plan?
Me: great! Today we're going to work on the ios implementation of our app. Where should we start?
Brain: ...
Me: brain?1 -
TL;DR : do we need a read-only git proxy
Guys, I just thought about something and this potential gitpocalypse.
There is no doubt anymore that regardless of Microsoft's decisions about Github, some projects will or already have migrated to the competition.
I'm thinking : some projects use the git link to fetch the code. If a dependency gets migrated, it won't be updated anymore, or worse, if the previous repo gets deleted, it can break the project.
Hence my idea : create some repository facade to any public git repository (regardless of their actual location).
Instead of using github.com/any/thing.git, we could use opensourcegit.com/any/thing.git. (fake url for the sake of the example).
It would redirect to the right repository (for public read only), and the owner could change the location of the actual repository in case of a migration.
What do you think ? If I get enough ++'s, I'll create a git repo about this.6 -
It was a girl who made the interview...
Girl:bla bla bla work stuff
Me: just staring and answering dumb questions..
Girl : do you find me attractive..?
Me: wtf like aaa what I'm gay sorry.
Girl :so you became gay because of me...?
Me: these questions aren't related to work... Will you continue or what?
Girl : looked me bad....
and went to the next room and a guy came. Fast forward...
im working with her for 4 years now...
(hope you don't hate me for this)15 -
Just had an old coworker from a previous job send me some stuff for a php script he was having issues with.
There was too much glory in what he was trying to do: mixing php inside of jquery code, not using strict types would have prevented like 10 issues he was having on his script on another portion, mixing headers, weirdly named variables, poorly constructed, reused db connections, 0 oop or proper dependency management in his code, horrible use of sessions and cookies, O (n²) logic all over the place.
But the cake.....are y'all ready for it? It was code screenshots, not even of just the section, no, the full page, from a windows machine (to make it better he is hosting the application on an IIS server and his configuration was not properly set) but I digress, back to the cake:
He was writing his code inside of wordpad :P
FUCKING WORDPAD
I just politely told him that I was busy at the moment and happily ignored him. Dude is not a good person to begin with imo, for example, he brought the subject of homosexuality during one of our talks after he saw me talking to my bf, who just so happens to be gay, his statement was "I do not understand how there can be gay people when there are women that are so hot"
My comeback was "I do not understand how we can be heterosexual when there are some really attractive dudes out there, see how stupid your logic sounds? attractiveness is not the basis for homosexuality ye dipstick" he let it go after that, but close minded people like that are not really my cup of tea.14 -
In one of my first jobs i developed an (ugly and heavly under-payed) e-commerce/media platform for a customer.
That customer was constantly making fun of his bald partner telling how he was gay, liked dicks, etc., drawing dicks and bananas as sample website logos or uploading dildo/penis images as images, he was always like this.
Once the website was ready for production i removed all the "testing" posts and images and told the client to insert some real content and alert me when it was ready for release.
Well some time after the release i got a call from that client, for the first time he was serious:
C: Hi, why there are dildo images on the server? (the website in production was full of dildo/penis images instead of actual product images, he even photoshopped the head of his partner on a penis and uploaded it!!!)
R: ehm... i told you it was on production and to stop uploading bad content....
C: Ummm ok, please fix it immediatly, thanks!3 -
36.63% of the respondents said they’re not planning to use any new programming languages in the coming 12 months.
But, 18.15% of them said they’re planning to use Python, while 16.83% said they’re planning to use Go, followed by JavaScript with 16.17%.
What about the tools?
Honestly, this was the hardest part of the report since it required very thorough data cleaning, and it turns out developer teams use a wide variety of tools, especially when it comes to testing and project management.
24 -
!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.
Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base
New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!
No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!
Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place. -
Retarded person I met today : "JS is gay cos you require strict mode for blah blah blah"
Me (and my webdev friend): pfft...
[Shows our ESLint Styling rules]
him: "o-oh... How the f-"6 -
I wanted to be able to physically start a home computer remotely.
- raspberry pi
- power relay to simulate the button
- a messenger chatbot linked to my account only
Now my local server is startable from anywhere7 -
I swear to God if “Microsoft testicle supprt” calls me one more time I’m going to flip. I think it may be time to set up a sandbox and get the fucks to “fix my computer.”
It would be a shame if instead of payment for their “support” their computers became infected with ransomeware...
I know what I’m doing today.10 -
**My Resume** : Worked with JavaScript and .NET for the last 3 years ... have an Associates degree...more things
**Recruiter**
You look like you'd be a great fit for this position. We require a Bachelors degree, but we're willing to take 4 years progressive experience in lieu of each year of schooling.
**First**
4 YEARS of experience for EACH YEAR of school?
**Me**
I guess basic reading and math aren't required to be a job recruiter? Man...Only 5 more years and I'll be able to see how my skills as a developer with 8 years of professional experience will go over as an Entry level developer!1 -
!activism
Guys, what should we do about Article 13 ?
The bill passed, well, that's unfortunate. We can still scream as loud as we can that it's a very bad idea, but let's face it, it won't probably work...
Personally, I'm sick of this shit. Every year they try to "regulate" the web with a new fucked-up legislation that they actually don't understand. I don't blame them for not knowing any better, but I blame them not to surround themselves with actually competent people (and no, lobbies are NOT competent, only interested).
So there it is : I want to act on this one. With traditional, ineffective methods (petitions, mails...), but I want to get further this time.
Here are some ideas :
- create/promote a platform explicitly made for "copyrighted" stuff (basically memes). Located outside of EU. But is it enough for being outside of the law ?
- Put some physical-paper memes near the EU parliament (I live in Brussels), just to mess with them ^_^
- Make the filtering algorithms crazy by spamming them with copyrighted content. I doubt this one will have any effect though...
Any ideas ? Let's go crazy there, they deserve it.8 -
University, first year. I went to my Java/OOP teacher's office to about the course (I had started programming C++ ~5 years ago).
I wanted to discuss the fact that some parts of the course seemed too theoretical for beginners in my opinion. Rookie mistake : do not criticize the cursus of an academic if you are in your first year, even when you are right. I learned it the hard way...
The teacher started to tell me that I was just a first-year student, I had no experience yada yada...
To that I replied "I'm doing C++ for 5 years. This is OOP so yeah I do know a little more than you think".
I will never forget his reply "LOL C++ is not Object-Oriented !"
I never went to his course after that. I learned a few years later that the teacher was a well-known a**hole along his peers and got fired by the University...40 -
FIRST RANT: When someone tries to scam a CS major...
Ok, so today I received a msg from a super hot guy on Grindr (that's right, I went there >_<). We chatted for a bit, traded some photos, his full frontal matched his profile pic so I was impressed. Then suddendly he asked me if I could "check out his fanpage" through a link that he will send to me..
"Mmmmmmmm that sounds like a scam bruh."
The mofo didn't give up and even had the nerve to try and assure me that "scammers will ask for money upfront and they're usually from another country (WTF??)"
"DUDE, I'm a Computer Science student! Not particularly fond of links!"
And then he blocked me. HAHAHA #DODGEDIT4 -
Yay, my sister is going to Mongolia next week from Infosys as a project lead in Finacle. (a banking product)7
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What's this erogant world?
Someone asked a question in Stack Exchange, he put his design of a school management database and asked for suggestions.
Well, there are many things to improve, relations and data types etc..
BUT, he got 10 very long answers about why every student has exactly a father and a mother, why not 2 mothers and 3 fathers and all some off topic talks that could be said in 1 line..
Like what the... ok we know you're gay but answer the question without being an attention greedy12 -
What the fuck is up with this fucking tour bus company called Akdeniz?
These fucking retards want me to login to instagram etc. to get wifi access. Like wtf. Is not my 30 TL not enough?
Are you really going to save my login data for a few TL? Why would you dipshit people want me to login with my social media account (besides of that I do not even have an Instagram account. Miss me with that gay shit.)
I do not have a fucking fuckbook and a twittermyass.
I hope y'all fucking die by sucking my long ass dick, incompetent braindeads!
8 -
!HALP!
I was just messing around to find a good username. Finally I got frustrated and tried “gary”. Now I am stuck with it for at least next 6 months! HALP @dfox12 -
Some days ago a friend told me about this good site to by the new .app domains, bigdaddy.com.
So I wanted to look for a domain and ooops, thats gay porn 😮
I confused names with godaddy.com. Maybe a lecture at uni is not the best place to open this site 😅 -
The struggle of being a gay CS major is that all of my classes are 95% guys but all of them are painfully straight. Send help7
-
Create this fucking account just to say: FUCK XAMARIN!
Mono is great on Linux, but Xamarin.Android is a GAY RETARD!
Fucking Xamarin.Android apps are retarded, wait for them 3 fucking seconds and a simple Hello World app doesn't start.
Retarded Xamarin.Forms make the whole pile of shit a lot worse using fucking abstractions and stuff. And the geniuses at Uno Platform does not make this shit any better.
Why don't those nerds at Xamarin make a way to compile all C# code to native JVM bytecode and provide all C# core libraries AS NATIVE JAVA LIBRARIES, RATHER THAN LOADING A NEW USELESS RETARDED VIRTUAL MACHINE ON THE JVM?
So that's it. Guess there's no way to write good Android apps using C#.10 -
So, I'm a veteran. I served in the Army as an information system operator/analyst. Glorified help desk, set up some equipment in the field, a few other small things. But I can make fun of vets, other branches, and those serving. I've paid my dues, and they're OK with it. Hell, they all do it too. But you have to be a vet or currently serving.
I feel like that with tech too. My buddies and I call each other geeks/nerds all the time. I get annoyed (read as pissed off) when someone from the outside does it.
I got an email from a recruiter that said something along the lines of "..basically a bunch of really smart nerds building software..." What the actual fuck? Go eat an entire bag of dicks, and choke on every single one.12 -
Today's rant will be brought to you by the letters A, W, and S.
I stayed up all night, ALL NIGHT, and finished this cool new feature, which is an integration between two technologies that tmk has not been done before. In short, I invented a thing last night.
Then at 5 fucking 30 this morning my EC2 fucking died. No SSH, no HTTPS... nothing... can't get into it to see what's up.
Put in a support request to AWS and finally went to bed. Wake up this morning to still nothing.
Can't wait for AWS support, try stopping and starting my instance... nevermind I'll have to re-setup SSH, and VS Code, and Workbench.. (which why the fuck can't I keep an IP through a reboot in the first fucking place!)
But nevermind that I was willing to do all that... this piece of shit won't start up any fucking way.
Fuck.
Now I have to rebuild this fucking EC2... and I could try to snapshot it... but that would probably fuck up too, so I'm just going to do it by fucking hand like I do everything else.
Fuck AWS.4 -
Guys, I just received a *constructive* comment about a code of mine on StackOverflow.
WTF is going on?7 -
I always wondered how it would be to have English as mother tongue.
Because :
- Insects are causing problems in computers,
- you're using a glass door or a fruit for OS (well, some of us),
- the internet is made of people bringing your glass in the restaurant,
- you navigate on the spider's fiber,
- ...
That must feel weird considering it's the same words that you use for other parts of your life7 -
Took my PC to a good repair shop because there was an issue with the motherboard. They complete ruined my cable management while installing the new motherboard I have a glass side panel. Fml.6
-
About a year ago, the organization I work for decided we don't really need team leads. We would be more self organizing if we didn't have technical leads. Now, one of those former leads who feels out of place can't get over it. She is constantly trying to add her two cents -- which is totally cool -- but in such a way as to make it sound/seem like we need to do what she says. Also, based on everything I've seen from her coding ability, I'm not sure how she ever became a tech lead. That's coming from me, and let me tell you, I feel SUPER junior sometimes. Like how the hell did they ever offer me a job junior. Well anyway, another dude was working with her the other day (we do pair programming) and snapped. He flipped out for like a solid 3 minutes on her. It was the most awkward thing I think I've ever experienced.3
-
I would build something to go in space. Probably in the energy or propulsion field.
I have zero Knowledge in those, but hey, unlimited time.2 -
Fresh internship story (Part 3)
Turns out my coworker with a mental disorder(adhs and idk what you call it. He is 24 years old, but is mentally between 16 and 18) is gay.
ATTENTION: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER SINCE THIS IS GOING TO GET DISGUSTING!
My cheap coworker's name is Justin btw. I felt a weird atmosphere when I joined the team. Justin seemed to be a hetero guy. (I am generally assuming that every guy and girl I met is hetero). But he had his slightly "gay moves".
Yesterday, I was curious about it and asked him about why he was afraid about the police to identify him on a video to start the conversation. He told me that his ex did cheat on him. Since I assumed that he was hetero I asked if the girl was cheating on him. He got embarrassed.
him:"I uhmm... am... not hetero. I am...*stops talking*"
me:"What? Are you bi? Are you gay? What are you?"
him:"I am gay."
me:"Oh... *tries to hide the shock* I see.*silence for a minute*"
me:"What is the name of your ex?"
Justin:"Fabian. Fabian had a video and pictures of me and he put them online and did spread them with everyone. After that I got punched by some dudes. Now I want to take my revenge."
me:"... well... now that makes sense.*silence*"
I felt sorry for him and decided to keep listening. I made a wrong decision there.
2 hours later he told me how he got gay, because I wanted to know if he was born gay or if he became gay.
He told me his whole life was full of sex.
He found a sextape of his parents and jerked off to it without cuming since he did not even hit puberty yet. Then he had sex with a 6 year old girl and then with a 12 year old girl when he was 8 or something in both cases.
Later he got into a place full of guys.
He first started jerking off to hetero porn among the dudes. I wonder how he got no shame while doing it. Anyways, after that he began to feel something for boys and less for girls since boys were able to understand him more than girls. Then he became gay and his sex life with boys started.
It was very disgusting, but I wanted to know it.
next morning:
*he keeps talking about how Fabian fucked him outside in the bushes and I keep ignoring him*8 -
Bruh.
Who are you gonna “fuck”? Who do you “hate”? Who are you calling “motherfuckers” on the internet where your targets can’t see what you posting?
You look like you close the refrigerator door with your hip. I suck dicks literally and there is nothing to be ashamed of but you suck dicks metaphorically when you accept everything they require. That’s the difference between a gay and a faggot. I’m gay but I can say “no” to anything my client or my employer says without losing my job because I have the authority and I have the expertise.
You, on the other hand, have nothing. You only brave when no one can hear you and there is no repercussions.
That’s why you only act tough with delivery guys and cashiers.9 -
Habit I'm trying to fix?
Doing it all myself. I've been timeboxing my problems and forcing myself to ask instead of forcing myself to just figure it out myself. Communication isn't my strong point.2 -
I was working on a bug on git and had the site policies or repo policies sent me
Included descriptions of “inclusive”‘language which is just as gay as people first language
This poster about sums up my frustration
20 -
!rant
Me and one of my best friends joke way too much about being in a relationship that when he said that we should get married I legit spaced out and started to think how would that even work because he lives in Mexico and I live in the U.S. then i wondered how our work schedule would be and who would hog his gaming pc the most
We are both dudes and we are not gay. But you know man...if you are nor gay for your best friend...are you even best friends?6 -
I was hired as a junior game developer and I had a senior who was working alongside me on a client’s project.
Within one month they moved my senior to another project and made me the project manager of the project that I was working on.
Worst fucking experience ever. Client’s were unresponsive for a week sometimes and pretty strict when it came to deadlines. Needless to say my employer lost the client and I was made the junior developer again.3 -
Took a job at a bank for the money. The job is super boring. So much bureaucracy. I don't know what I am doing here...9
-
In a gay bar. Pretty drunk.
It's funny how "I'm drunk and cannot be held responsible" doesn't seem to be terrifying2 -
PM: OK team. There seems to have been some confusion over card AAA-111. So from now on we need to be specific in the cards and make sure we have AC and a description of the issue
Devs: Thanks, we appreciate that
PM: makes card
Card: Why is it slow (yes, that's the actual card title)
Card: ... nothing else, completely blank
Devs: Wtf?
PM: these are supposed to be conversation starters guys!
Devs: JUST TELL US THE PROBLEM! WE'LL ASK WHEN WE NEED TO8 -
"No signature of method: build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1.android() is applicable for argument types: (build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1$_run_closure2) values: [build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1$_run_closure2@5edbe9fa]"
Thank You gradle. This is very useful.... FML2 -
Does anyone remember the #itgetsbetter gay pride campaign from a couple of years ago? Whenever I read a new dev being overly happy I want to comment #itgetsworse
-
Is it gay to like Ed Sheerans music?
He’s one of the few new people with actual talent in my opinion.
Many people say men listening to Lana del Rey are gay so I don’t give a shit anyway.
But I’m still wondering.
How many of the guys without a life (like me) here listen to and actually enjoy listening to Ed Sheraan?
Gaaaaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananannaa gaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananananananananna
That shits is stuck in my head now..22 -
One of the colleagues I am close with is changing teams. They will still be around the company, in fact the office of the team they are going to is right by mine. It just sucks to lose a good developer and friend from the team.
-
My brother (not a dev) asked me for help for his A* algorithm he's trying to optimize.
I'm so proud5 -
I f&#king hate it here. I am just eyeing to exit as soon as 1 year of my contractual obligation is over. My employer is a good employer. Provides good benefits but I just can't take the bureaucrazy in here. Just yesterday, had to ask another team to deploy objects on our behalf as they are the schema owner. They did it and asked us to review it today. But how? We don't even have manual access to the schema, because we are not the content owner and security! But that's fine, I can always query the catalog views and check the metadata and should be able to conclude the deployment. Right? NOOOO. Because security! Of what? Column names?
Prev rant: https://devrant.com/rants/5145722/...2 -
Going to release the biggest feature I have implemented for Product I work on. Change in more than 150 files and it is very very critical.
Wish me luck..3 -
Soooo this Canadian mother fuck, own the domain I want, and isn’t using it, and doesn’t wanna sell it.. tells me he is using it for his business.. after a bit of research the domain went inactive after 2007. Hours after sending an email.. a wix site pops up. And then then tells me his buisness has been using it for 25 years.. really??! Per public record your buisness went defunct years ago.
Won’t sell me the domain... fine, I’ll buy all the domains with your name in it variants of your buisness name, and point them to gay porn.. FUCK YOU.. fire with fire BITCH!23 -
A new YouTube (AI) tool by google for battling misinformation failed in a highly public way on Monday, wrongly linking video of the flaming collapse of the spire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
-
A new system developed at CSAIL was shown to have stronger security guarantees than Intel's existing approach for preventing so-called "timing attacks" like Meltdown and Spectre, made possible by hardware vulnerabilities.
Image courtesy of Graz University of Technology
7 -
If you could choose one, what should happen in 2020 :
1. Apple let developer build iOS apps on non Apple machines
2. NPM/Maven/... run 10x faster
3. Javascript dies and gets replaced by a better language
4. Governments stop trying to ruin encryption
5. Facebook splits
6. Quantum computers are being sold for consumer use
7. We have our first high - level generic AI working17 -
Piddling, and trying to learn some game stuff. Very simple game stuff.
Example code:
if (level % 10 === 0...) {
speed += 0.3;
...
} else if (level % 5 === 0...) {
speed += 0.1;
...
}
But because Javascript, console log reads:
speed: 0.5 <-- this is the initial console log
speed: 0.6
speed: 0.8999999999999999
speed: 0.9999999999999999
Well done Javascript, well done.25 -
Guys, serious question.
I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.
Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?11 -
The team leader call us for a serious meeting, and he wants it to be productive,
Leader: "we shall not procrastinate anymore. We don't have time left. We should not just talk random bullshit like we did the last few times. Aight?"
We all agree to be productive.
We also set a few main subjects and decision to be discussed. Then, we all get into the meeting room seriously. In a meeting, we try the idea of the upcoming project. But we suddenly went off topic. Then, My friend talk about L4D2. Then we start playing. And, I say, why not try some GTA5? I proudly reboot my expensive laptop from Ubuntu to Windows and playing GTA. Then, we start spotify and talk about song.
We laid in the sofa and talk sexually. My friend introduce me his favorite AV and we compare our manhood's size.
It was 4am already. One by one the attendee fall asleep.
It is lIke... the survival gamr of sleepiness? xD
Only my best boy friend and I were left awake, talking about ourselves, watching the beautiful midnight city.
Then, 2 of us ourselves start to talk about project idea. It is something cool and crazy to think about, like a friend making app. The 3 hours of brainstorming is gay and romantic.
"Okay, so we have the outline. let's sleep, baby" So we sleep till the noon. We wake up. Some left. Some were still sleeping. The birds twitter in the bequtiful skyline.
I did not forget to upload my idea to discord after going home in the morning. End of the meeting. Barely any goal was met in the meeting.
Those days, we make attempt of productive meeting again and again but end up procrastinating everyday. We had meeting in a small bedroom and it was our meeting room. We played different songs, tasted different wines.
And, finally one day, my friend say "I feel that it is much productive to work alone in a separate room. So we won't get distracted by each other."
Another friend: "yea..I know it is harsh... but yea... true... let's work alone"
I almost eant to cry. But we cannot indulge ourselves in the moments of dreamy romance.
We should start real work and don't be gay.1 -
Google has flagged a document in my drive, saying that it is violating its terms of service.
The document is just a digital logic and computer design book.
I don't know how a book is violating its TOS?17 -
Why most of the Universities still uses Turbo C++ ? Instead we have many alternatives to that, want to know the reason behind it.12
-
I wasn't with this company pre-pandemic. The people that were with the company had no idea that they wouldn't be with the company when the pandemic hit, so everything was sort of in a half state when my team was formed and picked it up 2 years later. Not their fault, I get it.
Well...mostly not their fault. Never in the history of good ideas, did anyone ever say "Hey, we should have these 15 variables named Object{number}!" Yes, 15 of them. And they are set `Object3 = object3Variable`. I wish I could make this up, but I can't, and it makes me sad.2 -
!Rant
I was just wondering if there were gay developers around here ?
I'm not desperately looking for a man (already found mine) but It's just I don't seem to often get to meet gay peers. And well, if it can make get people to talk :)
If you're shy, just +1 or whatever, I didn't sudo the question.8 -
Getting ready to start working a little something something on the side. Client (read as uncle-in-law) wants it in Wordpress because he
1) has heard of it
2) can buy themes. I told him I can make it look any way he wants and use something else, something that I'm actually familiar with. He wants Wordpress. At least it looks like writing my own plugins to do stuff will be really easy.5 -
I'll say one thing for June job searching...just by looking at logos it's really easy to shop around for a job that won't be at a woke company. Now I just need a job search filter that lets me sort out the temporary rainbow logos from the normal ones. (Honestly, how does anyone, gay or straight, work at any company that so blatantly shills for dollars through performative pandering? Just June. After that, "Gays? What gays?" Either commit to the WHOLE narrative all year long forever and change your logo permanently or GTFOH.)15
-
Not leaving my last job earlier.
History: Supervisor / Lead Developer was a complete moron who watched videos on facebook and youtube, engaged in heated discussions on facebook, wasted my time by showing the work of other companies and vines, smoked in the office and towards the end gave me shit for not meeting deadlines of the work that he was supposed to deliver. Project that I was working on had very lazy clients so I was free for even 2 days sometimes and that’s why I decided to help my supervisor on the project assigned to him but in reality I was handling two projects all alone.
Aftermath: My indie games started gaining traction on google play and I found a client and I made 5x my salary at my last job.1 -
Just spent the whole week trying to build an Ionic app for iOS. Of course, I don't have a Mac.
I should charge Apple for the enormous amount of time I lost because of their f***ing policy. Seriously guys ? We're in 2018. -
So we have this team that deploys some code. We had a change in that code that "we" forgot about. Turns out, a dev on our team decided it would be cool to rename an endpoint. Why? Great question. Because. So this code gets deployed, but the call to that endpoint didn't get deployed. System 2 tries to call the endpoint, 404. We roll back, we're searching, after like an hour, we find it. We go to TFS to see who did it. The dev grabs my keyboard and starts checking diffs, somehow managing to skip their commit (from 5 months earlier). I take back my keyboard and *surprise* it was the commit that was skipped. WTF? Why did you rename that endpoint? What do you mean you didn't do it? It has your name right there!3
-
Fuck UPS and their API Documentation. Has anyone here ever integrated their API ?
Their API documentation doesn't mention any sandbox or testing accounts.
If I click on their create access key button, it takes me to a form which requires a real payment method and address which seems like it's meant for real stuff not testing.4 -
My upwork account is banned for sending too many proposals without getting too many jobs.
Got 2 jobs out of 35-40 proposals sent.4 -
Not really a recruitment experience, but when I was a uni student, my IT teacher told me face to face that "C++ is not object oriented"7
-
Can anyone explain to me how is it possible that some devs like to work on macos?
This feels like a punishment to me. Every time.26 -
It’s almost 4am and I have a paper at 8:30am for which I haven’t prepared but here I am thinking:
What if Windows 10 was made by North Korean developers. I mean all of them would have been executed by now. Interesting...1 -
I made a game dev friend from a forum. Later we went in business together and now we have a really strong friendship. And our business is doing great.2
-
Day 1 with Chromium OS: Inclusion of packages and stuff
Day 2 with Chromium OS: Setting up CI, and realize Azure is fucking gay because their own agents disconnects after 4 hours.
Just why.
Day 3 with Chromium OS: resolve their shitty problem, now their own agents have no disk space. I blame Google.
Day 4 with Chromium OS: Fix CI in at 10 commits, give up and cry.
Day 5 with Chromium OS: Realized Travis might stood a chance, build time limit reached, now I'm shook.
Day 6 with Chromium OS: Buried myself with endless tabs of Gentoo documentation. Lost count on when's the last time I came out of my room.
Today with Chromium OS: I blame Google for making my life suffer more than the last time I had depression.
Conclusion: Chromium OS is Gentoo with extra steps and I hate it5 -
Cursee's Bizarre Nightmare Series
Dream 3
I was a gay in the dream.
---
What in the fuck is happening in my brain?4 -
In 2020, the Earth slightly accelerated its spin.
For the first time in history, we need to add a *negative* leap second in our datetime systems.
...
Which means all the datetime libs need an update. I hope they anticipated this.20 -
I'm getting tired of coding. Not really the coding part, the dealing with people who tell me what to code and why part. Sort of considering making a move into a scrum master or PM role just so I can get fired when I say "No, we're not changing everything they've been working on in the middle of the sprint" or maybe "Yeah, no we're not going to put in a bunch of tickets to change the UI/UX without first talking to the designers, because that's what they do. Yes, I realize we aren't Facebook, but do you realize we "compete" with them because a huge number of people will compare our usability to theirs? (even if just subconsciously)"2
-
Started a side project.
Learnt flutter and firebase.
Started coding app.
Four months pass by.
App is mostly ready.
Wakes up on Saturday morning.
Updates Android Studio and SDK because, why not?
Build failed!
Dependency depreciation warnings!
Java errors!
Firebase errors!
Emulator stopped running!
Wify is angry with me as we planned shopping but now this. Fortunately, she's also in IT, so she understands..
FML! Spent the entire day stackoverflowing and fixing errors!
8PM evening, I am back to Friday's status. My shoulder and neck hurts but my mind is chilled.6 -
I have some free period of 20 to 25 days, so what should i learn in this gap so that it can be fruitful in future?
(Currently 2nd year CSE)
-any language
-framework
-something else...
-.....?4 -
I received devRant stickers a couple of months ago, but I forgot to post a picture. Would you guys believe me or I have to prove.4
-
I interviewed a graphic designer/artist for a small job and that guy straight up asked me how much usd would I pay him? I said I can only pay you 150 exposure max.
Balls on these guys. smh.3 -
Learning to tech to speed up learning.
Using a new cooperative learning technique, AI Lab researchers cut by half the time it took a pair of robot agents to learn to maneuver to opposite sides of a virtual room.
A combination of deep learning and reinforcement learning algorithms are responsible for computers achieving dominance at challenging board games like chess and Go, a growing number of video games, including Ms. Pac-Man, and some card games, including poker. But for all the progress, computers still get stuck the closer a game resembles real life, with hidden information, multiple players, continuous play, and a mix of short and long-term rewards that make computing the optimal move hopelessly complex.
Image: Dong-ki Kim
1 -
The whole class is approaching me to solve the assignment coding problems, in addition to it our professor is changing the way we code as i insisted him. I don't know if this is the result of my past sleepless nights.
-
Thank you for deleting our very first sprint.
The development was horrible and the management was a bizarre.
Thank you JIRA, and that one gay who accidentally deleted all 120+ stories and task.
PS. Calling gay is not an offensive word. He likes being called gay2 -
A really sad story of my cousin's carrier,
My cousin was a smarter guy in math during school grades but there comes his devil aunt and uncle during his high grades forcing him and his family members to go for biology in high school. They just want to use my cousin for their benefit, as they own many medical stores in the town they can use my cousin in future in their field. The uncle reached the school's principal and confirmed his admission in biology giving bribe.
Here where my cousin's carrier starts to demolish, as he was interested in math but he was forcefully admitted in biology class.
It was all ok till high school but further the uncle fought with family members misguiding them and took cousin's admission in pharmacy discipline in a university offering bribe. Here the min problems starts, As he is not interested in pharmacy he is failing in the exams and now he is under a great depression.
PS : The uncle ruined whole carrier of my cousin just for his future monetary benefits.12 -
Insufficient for Dynamic Pages, Unpredictable Behavior Across Browsers
If you attempt to view the same website using three different browsers, you may be surprised to find that pages are sometimes displayed differently depending on whether you use Internet Explorer, Google Chrome or Firefox.1 -
I went to an interview today at a very small insurance company. Everything was going great until I spent some time with one of the account managers I was going to be working with. She made a comment about her daughter playing softball and went on to say “but she’s not a dyke or anything.” This completely turned me off to the company, as I myself am gay.
I believe the company will be sending me a written offer in the next day or so, and I don’t know what reason I should give for turning down their offer. I want to be honest, but I don’t want to burn a bridge, as my field is a very close-knit community. Do I just tell them for “personal reasons” I decline their offer?9 -
A telecom engineering friend of mine asked me if I wanted Backnowýk — a strange brew made of cherries and strawberries that, if you brew it just right, is both lemonade and yogurt, depending on how you hold a glass of it. Straight angle relative to the floor makes it yogurt, but change that angle, and it fades into being lemonade. But if you don't drink it fast enough, it turns into blood.
So, I drank it and gained an ability to slam dunk leather balls, and since then, for every football game I'm in (I don't know how to play soccer though), there is a basketball hoop just for me, and when I dunk, my team scores.
Went for a walk. Met the lead singer of Death Grips — MC Ride. He wrote me a gay ballad:
🎵 Please take me to recording studio Portland🎵
🎵 Please take me to the recording place digital🎵
🎵 Aniverse🎵
🎵 Aniverse🎵
🎵 [DREAM FRAGMENT LOST]-verse🎵 -
How my friends work day goes, I worked at the same firm and on the same project, I dont pity him.
70% debugging
25% refactoring - after his pull request was denied a few times, and had to rewrite that code in question a few time. I think most people go mad
3% test writing
2% code writing -
I have a unique opportunity to go to the websummit for peanuts.
As the staff requires us to install the websummit app before the event, I did yesterday....
Now I'm being literally spammed by every sales person on the app chat. Some even posted *before I registered* !
My god, they're everywhere !1 -
Unable to post images since morning and now seeing 3 post thrice.
devRant acting super gay today.
https://devrant.com/rants/4535437/...27 -
Well, the James Webb Telescope runs on Javascript (partly)
JS haters, any comment? 🙃
https://theverge.com/2022/8/...12 -
Windows 10 User here.
I am really going through my system settings quite often to find potential trojan horses, spyware and what-not that installed itself over time (most security threats come through windows updates IMO).
I was baffled to once again find a bunch of "auto-allowed"-settings that are a potential threat to the security of my system, accompanied by their mysterious services and processes that now appeared (dont know when exactly, but last time I looked, probs a month ago, they pretty surely didnt exist!)
Have a look for yourself.
I of course am in the middle of migrating to linux due to the increasing severity with which Microsoft threatens PC-Security (and mine along with it).
F*CK MICROSHIT!!! >:((
-
I've been coding professionally for about 6 years now. I'm changing jobs, and I have this fear that I'm going to get there, they're going to decide I have no idea what I'm doing, and fire me. I'm the sole income for my family, and this shitty thought scares the crap out of me. Does anyone else go through this?11
-
> looking for a ZX81 emulator
> the most accurate one is SDL for Mac
> snap for Linux
> alright fine i'll use stupid fucking gay-ass snap
> after fixing snap's fuckups twice it's finally running
> all my ROMs and BIOSes are on my 4TB HDD mounted at /big and symlinked at ~/big
> SDL CAN'T FUCKING SEE EITHER
> "well it supports drag and drop we'll use that" segfault
> "fine i'll put the bios or w/e it wants in ~" not valid, apparently
fucking goddAMMIT8 -
To be honest, I've never been drunk. Really, teenagers couldn't be drunk, yeah? Only thing I drink is a lot of coffee, yerba, and tea. Never drink yerba before you're going to sleep. That could end with another sleepless night in front of your laptop. Also, never drink yerba in public, some may call you hipster, some may call you gay. But I still don't know what homosexual thing is in yerba.4
-
Devrant Drunk Quiz - 3 - 5 points
What do aviophile and Alexander and b2plane and SidTheItGuy have in common?
Is it…
A) They are holocaust deniers
A) They sleep and kiss on anime pillows
A) They are active members of the Westboro Baptist Church
Or…
A) They suck each other off in the bar stall but condom on so not gay27 -
That feeling when you know your project manager is going to ask for something that they said wouldn't be a thing...2
-
New to working with git in a large scale application. I've used it in personal things, but not at an enterprise scale.
"genius" me: git pull origin {{dev branch name}}
"genius" me: why won't any of these tests work?
"genius" me: spends 2 hours working on fixing some tests
actual genius that I work with: Dude, revert that shit and pull from master, the tests will work. Don't pull from {{dev branch name}} because you have no idead what might be there.
This makes sense. Things are started and abandoned in favor of new priorities all the time. At least my PM is pretty cool and didn't freak out that I wasted that couple of hours like at a previous position.
Also, git is far superior to mstfs. Very smooth and easy to use once you get the hang of it.4 -
What if a guy who is actually a gay wants to learn R and actually succeeds?
Well, he becomes gRay.1 -
Anyone else remember at googles summer of code in 2006-ish google catching heat for hiring strippers to give the male devs lap dances ?
those were they days ! I wanted to work for google so much after that.
we need to bring the debauchery into development lol
notably, google has erased all evidence of that new story now that they have become staffed baby raping, tree hugging, snarky fucking homosexual clowns.
and btw i am an environmentalist and I don';t care if someone is actually gay. I'm also practical and like boobs. unfortunately i don't think thats whats working at google.31 -
So, we're preforming a re-write an application. It's on an application (actual mortgage application, not 'app') that has 4 different entry points. We have the most common entry point converted to our re-written application with plans to have the next couple done over the next several weeks. Yesterday, the old version broke. It was under the impression that it could grab any row that matched the borrower and then check against a hash of that data to see if it could proceed. It can't. You can't hash data set 1 and expect it to be the same as the hash for data set 2. Not a thing. When asked, the only answer we could give right away was "We'll fix it, give us a couple of minutes" and "Sorry, bad {{appName}} is bad. We don't know root cause yet. We'll let you know when we do." Was pulled aside by my manager and told my answer was unsatisfactory and I shouldn't give answers like that. I get it, "Bad {{appName}} is bad" isn't great, but it's not like we were going to give that and leave it! We needed some time!2
-
My sister works in infosys on their banking product finacle, she wants to leave that job and pursue for ph.D is it worthy?2
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So I've been working with this company for a few years. Great company, really is, very few problems. Recently, the intern on my team was offered a full time position that he will be starting January 2020. More recently, I found out that his starting salary is going to be about $500 more than my current salary. I just got a raise about a month ago. How do I go about addressing this? I don't really wanna leave this company, but on the other hand, I would kind of like having four years at this company respected a bit. I've done good work, I've been loyal. Hell, that raise about a month ago was my second this year. Don't know what's next.1
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Change the main backbone of an application (2 - 3 weeks) in order to facilitate the upgrade of the application from AngularJS to Angular (which they tell us is going to happen...eventually) or, rewrite the application (~4 months) in Angular. What arguments should we be using to get the rewrite? Our pleas are falling upon def ears.3
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The CI on Mac is broken. Again.
Next time I have a client that wants me to work with Apple, I'll double my rate. -
This person is forcing me to pursue in asset based income, what should i do? Truly speaking i dont know what asset based income is.
5 -
"Re-org" is the legal method used by companies to merge entities in order to increase workload and fuck you in the butt!3
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Heart in pain.....
Now my eyes are dry with no tears to cry.
Brain is flashing the same thing again and again and again........5 -
i've been banned from SO again because too many people hit downvote on my shit without telling me why, so i'll ask in short here:
How the fuck are u64* and u64 different, why can't I cast between them or between them and a double and why the fuck is C gay?
Now, again but longer:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...32 -
Like many of you, I'm currently working from home. This is great, and I hope I can stay remote when this is all said and done. That said, there are a few things I don't like. First and foremost, I need to connect to the VPN in order to do a large number of my tasks. This sucks for multiple reasons, the current worst being that I can't use Fiddler while connected to the VPN. This really handcuffs me in certain situations. Anyone currently using a proxy that works while on VPN? I tried a couple of others, including Burp Suite. But they didn't install on my MacBook. Apple didn't like not being able to peer into the depths of their soul, or some such nonsense2
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How to realize that experience matters : make a demo where all your code works, but everything fails because the other dev has done a shitty job 😅1
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I don't understand why some people take computer science as their stream, while they don't know anything in it. Those majority people in most of the universities take computer science seeing other people's rush. In my University 70 % of the people even dont know the ABC of programming. These mad annoying people just ruin the merit list. 😠😠8
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So apparently Sony has the big gay.
https://youtu.be/y2weNM4JtME
(from official PS2 HDD documentation)
2 -
I needed to install an extra Ethernet card on my machine at work. The process of getting it from the IT department was fairly easy, but the damn things didn't have the small screws you need, in order for the card to not hang on the PCI-E port...
Turns out finding that kind of screws is way more annoying than the card itself. :/ I don't get why they were not included, if they are essential for the operation of the card...4 -
Le Angular programmer
Me: I need to add all these fields across this 30 page (seriously) questionnaire to the dataLayer for Google Analytics...I'll see if I can loop over all the controls and get the native element so that I can do things with it.
Also me: WTF do you mean I don't have access to the native element? Damn it! What does Google say?
**terrible french accent**
A few moments later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: I don't want to have to create a directive to put on every single one of these fields. That's dumb. Not gonna do it...bad vanilla JavaScript?
**terrible french accent**
Several minutes later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: Wait...if we use this directive then the directive can handle all the things AND we can use it outside of this questionnaire. The rest of the app can send this data so that Google Analytics can know all the things
Man Google..You sure do know what I want before I know what I want...Are you spying on me too?1 -
So you know those movies where the girl fells in love with the bad gay(kidnapper, thief...) and she doesn’t want to be saved.
Same relationship with me and JavaFX.1 -
I am a 1st Year CS student, should i complete atleast one intern this year? Or any CS topic or subject to pay more attention to?3
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In the USA, the country where same-sex marriages are legal, 65% of people do believe in a religion that explicitly states that gay people should be beaten to death with rocks.
Make up your mind. You're either pro-equality or you're a christian. You can't be both.8 -
Oh boy oh boy I’m rushing headlong to some forgotten conclusion around a hole coach from hell full of gay clowns yay !
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I logged into BitBucket, opened my repo, and clicked on my Trello board. Why did I have to log into my Trello board? Trello is now connected to your Atlassian account, I got an email about it. It's the same username/password. It exists. They know it does, because they're the ones that told me. Create a token and pass it to Trello for me so that I don't have to log in. It isn't all that difficult. I can hear you now: "What if they have a different Trello account they want to log into because...{reasons}?" Then you can have a handy little "Switch Account" button or something that will log them out, log them into their new account, and display that data. One button push for them, no buttons for the rest of us.2
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Ahhhhh.... Now i want to really know how developers make softwares, ROMs, chatbots using ML and all these type of stuff.
- When i go through the guide for making ROM for a smartphone or a chatbot the writer asks the reader to take the code from github, everybody just give github link and move on. None tells how the developer wrote that bunch of code. I really want to learn core concepts behind all this. I know how to code but i can't apply it in real life applications. For me there is no bridge which connects coding to end products. I don't know what to do next?4 -
The developer economics survey is back, if you didn't know already.
https://developereconomics.net//...2 -
I want to buy a new laptop please suggest me the best one under 75k INR.
Do Ghz clockspeed in laptop really matters for developing purposes?12 -
I love docker, but when it's not working and you're having WSL permission issues on Windows, it is a pain in the ass!
I have no clue exactly why, but I tried debugging and circumventing the same problem for hours, if not days:
Docker keeps crashing due to "unexpected WSL error".
The only thing that seemed to help (sometimes, at least) was to Uninstall Docker, Reboot, Disable all Windows Feature flags that docker needs, rebooting again, enabling them flags again, rebooting, and then installing docker again.. aaaand voilá here it is again, while I almost lost all my nerves >:d
This only happens on my work-computer, which seems to not properly be connected to the ActiveDirectory Domain or something like that, which renders the whole computer basically useless and I can't do anything about it (for example, install a proper os called linux) since IT blocked BIOS access *silent cries of pain*
5 -
I am taking too long to think for final year cs project.
Thinking of autonomous mapping and exploration using UAVs
Any suggestions?2 -
You keeping your devRant profile background yellow color is basically, you screaming "I'm gay" at the top of your lungs here.23
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I have troubles running docker and daemon on ubuntu linux cli installed on windows 10, tried to solve all possible mistakes but no result. Windows is a bullshit, Ubuntu linux cli for windows is not fully fledged.8
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Do you need the Konami code in your life? A simple (read as: doesn't have to be entered in perfectly), un-refactored (very messy, first pass by pretty tired dev. probably full of extra, slow crap that is misspelled), IIFY to add the Konami code to your next personal site (don't do this at work, might not go over well...). could be fun?
```(() => { const konami = ['ArrowUp','ArrowUp','ArrowDown','ArrowDown','ArrowLeft','ArrowRight','ArrowLeft','ArrowRight','b','a']; let keysPressed = []; document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0].addEventListener('keyup',(e) => {const findAllIndicies = target => {const allIndicies = []; keysPressed.forEach((key, idx) => {if (key===target) {allIndicies.push(idx)}}); return allIndicies;}keysPressed.push(e.key);if(keysPressed.length >= 10) {const startingPoints = findAllIndicies('ArrowUp'); startingPoints.forEach(point => {const working = keysPressed.slice(point); if (working.length >= 10) { const miniSlice = working.slice(0,10); const check = konami.filter(k => !miniSlice.included(k)); if (check.length === 0) { keysPressed = []; ADD_SOMETHING_COOL_HERE_FOR_YOUR_WEBSITE}}})}})})()```7 -
Having a code-gasam over here because reuse in Angular > reuse in AngularJS(AJS). Throw in reactive forms instead of template driven forms in AJS and I'm done.
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Amazon just launched DocumentDB, a clone of MongoDB.
I personally waited for this for a long time. How about you?4 -
I got called for a 1 on 1 with my manager. Nothing out of the ordinary, I thought. We have those from time to time. This time it was because I've been losing the trust of my team. I haven't been communicating with them very effectively and it's taken a toll on our working relationship.
We talk on slack when we run into issues, and we give a daily update at the end of the day and during stand up in the morning.
Anyone have any suggestions on ways I can increase the communication to help earn my teams trust back?9 -
What do you mean " 'StyleProvider' cannot be used as a JSX component"? That was added 8 months ago. Did something change in React 16 (yup 16) in the last few days since I ran an npm i? Dammit? Now I have to go dig through commits and see what changed5
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Oh he will do the same thing heh
I miss the 20th century
Mainly just because the redo of everything sucks so hard and seems to be missing substance
"We" need to suck more and stop saturating everything with their gay ass shit and meanwhile the others need to learn to see something as sacred or it will be another terrible cyclic years
Told them so15
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