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The programmer and the interns part 3.
Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.
I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.
Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.
Without further delay,
Case 0:
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.
Case 1:
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Does nothing.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.
Case 2:
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.
Case 3:
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.
Case 4:
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.
Case 5:
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.
Case 6:
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.23 -
When Elden Ring come out I ignored it, I was jobless, no money, game was expensive and I got into hate relationship with it.
Some time ago I launched twitch and saw that DLC come out. Struggled between buying or not because it reminded me my struggle with money.
Found that shop in my city sells box version of Elden Ring with DLC for PS5 and they have last one in their store.
I reserved it online without payment and it wasn’t immediate, I started thinking that someone bought it and I won’t play it. Felt happy I won’t spend money on game I hate.
Two hours later I got email that product is ready for picking up and it meant it will be rush hours when I go get it and didn’t liked it.
I work remotely and I’m not used to seeing many people, but well I wanted to play the game if it’s waiting for me.
After I arrived to the shop and went in I met the most honest guy who is selling games.
He asked me if I am souls fan. I said I never played souls game.
He asked three times if I really want to buy this game because it’s hard.
Told me he approached it 3 times already and didn’t stand a chance.
After chitchat I bought the game, paid cash because I love box games and cash anonymity.
Woman cough on me when I was on my way back, I said to myself fucking hell I’m going to be sick and I am starting my vacation next week.
I got really sick with a flu, played straight 2 weeks, I don’t have playstation plus so I can’t read any clues or play online but I don’t care.
It’s even better because you can enjoy more of the world not reading messages like you’re on gaming forum instead of playing game.
Dying from sickness helped me to don’t care about dying in game.
Two weeks later here I am, just killed Mohg and unlocked DLC on my ps5.
In achievements it says that only 38.5% of people killed Mohg.
Now I sit and wonder how many people bought DLC and will never play it because they can’t kill Mohg.
I love Elden Ring now. One of best games I played to this day.
The timing for it was perfect, the sickness, the game, one of the best vacations and one of the best journey in my life.
To whomever organized that adventure in my life.
Thanks, now it’s time to kill some more bosses.8 -
!rant
is pre-debugging a good thing?
I have a habit of implementing a project(for e.g. a mobile app) like this: See the project, break the tasks to be done into small parts(Like UI layouts- setting, listeners to implement , graphics involved, background threads required, databases necessary, etc.)and then code each of them step by step , while simultaneously testing their working (For all possible test cases I could think of ) side - by side. this results in my project getting developed in far more time than other people, but I always have something good and working all times to show to my bosses.But I really feel stupid when I spend 2 hours handling the animations and ui while I have yet to look into databases and other more important stuff
I guess that's a habit from my good old python days(its IDLE was a playstation for me) but I wish to know better approaches,if any?4 -
Ones I come up with but don't have the skill to do, and by then someone else has already done it.
Case in point:
https://engadget.com/playstation-2-...5 -
So apparently Sony has the big gay.
https://youtu.be/y2weNM4JtME
(from official PS2 HDD documentation)
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