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Biggest scaling challenge?
The imaginary scaling issues from clients.
Client : How do you cope with data that's a billion times bigger than our current data set? Can you handle that? How much longer will it take to access some data then?
I could then give a speech about optimizing internal data structures and access algorithms that work with O(log n) complexity, but that wouldn't help, non-tech people will not understand that.
And telling someone, the system will be outdated and hopefully been replaced when that amount of data is reached, would be misinterpreted as "Our system can not handle it".
So the usual answer is: "No problem, our algorithms are optimized so they can handle any amount of data"6 -
Ever tried "CodeGolf" on StackExchange?
https://codegolf.stackexchange.com
I did it for a while and had some fun.
Until it became the usual dick-measuring contest that is StackExchange.
"Have you tried...?"
Bitch did I ask for your help?
The final straw for me was when it became obvious that people were checking to make sure I hadn't lied about my character count. Then someone downvoted my answer after I misinterpreted the question.
That was it for me, fuck y'all.
This C# Christmas Tree was my highest voted answer, approx 1 year ago. (Hope the gif works.)
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"Apple, it just works"
People, we might have misinterpreted the "just"!
"Apple, it only works [the way Apple meant for it to work]"9 -
What if Brian Kernighan was just trying to say "Hell O world" and we misinterpreted as hello world
(¬ω¬)1 -
Finding out you've done a project wrong because you completely misinterpreted the direction you got at the start and your brain took it in a totally different direction and having to start over again with it is lots of fun. I recommend it to everyone.1
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A new YouTube (AI) tool by google for battling misinformation failed in a highly public way on Monday, wrongly linking video of the flaming collapse of the spire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
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Rant against a new religion: the Agile Religion, started by the Agile Manifesto: https://agilemanifesto.org
This manifesto is as ambiguous and open to interpretation as any religious text. You might as well get advice from a psychic. If you succeed, you'll start believing in them more. If you don't, then they'll say you misinterpreted them. The whole manifesto just re-states the obvious with grandiloquent words.
For example: "Deliver working software frequently, from a couple of weeks to a couple of months, with a preference to the shorter timescale." What does this say REALLY? To me, it just says "deliver software, try to be fast." Great, thanks for re-writing my job description. Of course, some features take "a couple of weeks", while others "a couple of months". Again, thanks for re-stating the obvious.
"Value *working software* over _comprehensive documentation_"
Result => PHP
"Welcome changing requirements, even late in development."
I'm okay with this one as long as the managers also `welcome the devs changing deadlines, even the night before the release date`. We're not slaves; we're more like architects. If you change the plans for the building, we're gonna have to demolish part of what we've already built and re-construct. I'm not gonna spring just because you change your mind like a girl changes clothes.
"Business people and developers must work together daily throughout the project."
Daily? Fine. ONCE a day, sure. But this doesn't give you the right to breathe down my neck or break my concentration by calling me every couple of mintues.
"The most efficient and effective method of conveying information to and within a development team is face-to-face conversation."
- Not if you could've summed up that meeting in an email.
- Whereas that might be true for clarity, write that down.
"Working software is the primary measure of progress."
... is how you get a tech debt the size of the US's.
"The sponsors, developers, and users should be able to maintain a constant pace indefinitely."
Have you heard of vacations?
"Continuous attention to technical excellence and good design enhances agility."
So you're telling us "do good". Again, thank you for re-writing my job description.
It's just a bunch of fancy babble, more suitable in poetry than in the dev world. It doesn't provide any scientific evidence for any of its supposed suggestions, so I just won't use it3 -
What do you think about my sibling observation today (he/she is not in software):
- if you want make money in any company, deal with all the shit: incompetent co-workers, shitty management, unreasonable deadlines, misinterpreted Agile, no test coverage, etc.
- if you want to grow and develop yourself: join some easy startup or make your own app/project3 -
Holy fucking shit bois. This is gonna be a long one.
So, its my last studying year for me. I found a nice apprenticeship in a dev company for which i'll have to make apps and stuff, so, I'll work at the company and at school.
Now it's good innit? Well here's the catch. I have to sign a contract for this. And the CUNT who is filling this shit is retarded enough to fuck up.
This bitch, a 40 yo accountant, surely filled many goddamn contracts before mine, but nooo, this wanker fucked this, the contract was missing important infos and some of them were incorrect, in short, it's not valid, 0/10, will never sign this.
Now here's the fun part, this cunt asked me for my infos, i gave them to him so that he could fill the document : he misinterpreted them, filling the paper with junk.
Today, I heard that he is unhappy of my behaviour towards him, and that I shouldn't insult his work with these accusations, saying that if I gave them more info (for which they didn't ask), there would be no problems.
He then called me, while I was in class, he acted smugly, said I was unclear and that I should gather more info for them, in other terms, "lmao do this yourself cunt"
"Fuck you, you cumstain, if you would've asked me, I would've been able to give you these infos right away, but you didn't, it's your fault for this, you're breaking mah balls yadda yadda"
(Roughly what I said, especially the insults)
I'm now forced to fill the contract myself because this bitch isn't able to google shit for 5 minutes to find everything he needed.
I have had so many problems with people of his kind, that I can't stand them now. Are they like animals? Do they feel my hate for them?
Sorry for dat long post, but fuck this, if the contract isn't filled, signed, and validated before the end of the month, I'm fucked, since i won't be able to sign up for the school.
Does anyone have had any problems like this? Like, a very egocentric cunt that isn't able to do something good because he is too proud to ask, so he prefers doing things his own way?1 -
Put in 2 weeks of dev, it passes QA, guy that is presenting to customer checks it against the spec and after all of that half an hour before end of work day the day before guy is going to the client to present this he finds an error (I misinterpreted the spec)... Nope, not gonna code the changes all night so it's implemented properly for the presentation.
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I have previously posted something which is similar to this post; however, the amount of relevant information which is provided within this post will hopefully exceed the amount of relevant information which was provided in the mentioned post.
If my skill set, which is visible at http://gyazo.com/d27a11ec203579178c..., interests you, then I request that you contact me at varikvalefor@aol.com, for I am searching for a new correspondent.
Because some individuals have misinterpreted the previous text, I state that I shall continue to hold the position which I have held for the past sixteen-something years; I am merely searching for a personal contact.
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