I went to an interview today at a very small insurance company. Everything was going great until I spent some time with one of the account managers I was going to be working with. She made a comment about her daughter playing softball and went on to say “but she’s not a dyke or anything.” This completely turned me off to the company, as I myself am gay.

I believe the company will be sending me a written offer in the next day or so, and I don’t know what reason I should give for turning down their offer. I want to be honest, but I don’t want to burn a bridge, as my field is a very close-knit community. Do I just tell them for “personal reasons” I decline their offer?

Are you likely to have much contact with the account manager?

It's something to consider.

You could always note the amorphous and imo terrible phrase "culture fit".

Umm.. “medical reasons”?

Hmmm, that’s a tough one. I can see “shooting the shit” a bit in an interview, but using insulting language indicates that the interviewer felt comfortable using that term with a compete stranger while representing the company. Not a good look. If you need some wording to decline an offer, maybe something like this?: “I’ve decided to pursue other opportunities at this time”.

Tell them you don't think the company's culture is a good fit for you. That's perfectly reasonable, covers any number of reasons, and you don't have to elaborate if you don't want to.

I once interviewed at a place whose business model was essentially a payday lender for businesses, and I decided not to accept any offer and gave that reason. The actual reason was that I thought their entire business model was immoral, but I didn't want to elaborate and they never asked for more details.

@molaram Nothing, but neither should they feel obliged to confront bigots if they don't have the mental energy

@molaram I wouldn't call it a BS excuse. Maybe more diplomatic.

And don't forget, even in Western countries where there are legal protections against discrimination for LGBT people, there are plenty of communities where they're ostracized and disclosing their LGBT status may not be prudent.

@molaram Hard to argue with you there - mentioning the inappropriate language may actually be doing the employer a favor in outing this interviewer’s true personality.

Are you homophobicphobic?

I follow these 3 rules at workplace (If I’m part of a team, or “lead” on the team, doesn’t matter) :

• No political talks.
• No sexuality talks.
• No money talks (Except between employees to compare. That is healthy I think).

I think it has nothing to do in a workplace. Even, when in the meeting, some one starts “What tv shows did you watch recently”, it’s already invasion I feel. If I am asked these kinds of questions, I will just deflect with ‘Too many to talk about” or “A lot, ok so point on hand is …”.

I do not think socializing should be a mandatory part of work. People who become friends, even marry work colleagues: Yes, why not, but they probably talk in private. Not in a group 15+ chat.