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Manager: We have a new equity survey from HR that is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY. Anyone who doesn’t fill it out will be severely reprimanded for being against diversity in the workplace. We need this data in order to ensure we have the ABSOLUTELY EXACT ratio of EVERY minority so that we can show the people that we do not discriminate against ANYBODY for ANYTHING. One of the problems with hiring new people is that most people we want to hire turn out to be white and we are absolutely not allowed to hire any more white people because we are over the quota for white people. Now there’s a loophole to this, if that white person belongs to some sub-minority like they are muslim or gay or something like that it’s totally cool and we can show people we don’t discriminate on these things when making employment decisions!

Dev: That’s…not wh—

Mandatory Survey: Please select your sexual preferences and/or religion from the dropdown below.

Dev: jesus christ.

Comments
  • 9
    Tell these assholes you are native <whereever your from>. For me I would be native american. Anybody born anywhere in the americas is native american in my book. They cannot tell you that you are not. Create imaginary groups you belong to. Fucking companies that do this are shit and should die.
  • 19
    In Europe, that would be an immediate GDPR complaint to the relevant authorities, for asking about highly personal, but not work-related information.
  • 2
    The ancient wisdom still applies:

    https://youtube.com/watch/...
  • 3
    @Fast-Nop Sounds like good public policy. We don’t do that here :(
  • 4
    @boombodies Our HR wouldn't even dare to ask that shit because we had a mandatory basic GDPR training for the whole company, HR included. Also, that training had a mandatory exam at the end to make sure that people would actually listen. :)
  • 4
    @Fast-Nop Courses like that here are usually 8 hours of a person reading bullet points from a slide followed by a 10 question quiz where every answer is d. All/None of the above. After that people are considered “fully competent” and “certified”.
  • 3
    @boombodies My company's management is afraid of GDPR fines. Our business model is OK, but employee incompetence would be a risk factor. Just ticking boxes wouldn't save them from fines, only avoiding fuckups will, and that requires a training that ensures actual learning.
  • 3
    @Fast-Nop Smart. If only the rest of us operated like that. Where I work leadership would rather eat fines and scapegoat some uninvolved peon than conduct themselves responsibly. Large organizations can afford lots of waste. :(
  • 5
    @Fast-Nop In Germany it's not just a GDPR issue, but against the labour law. So any company asking this opens themselves not only to a data protection fine, but also employment related lawsuits (e.g. discriminatory hiring, wrongful termination).
  • 2
    @saucyatom Ah, for the days when Brits had the protection of EU laws. The fucking clown car we have in charge right now are intent on stoking a culture war too, I wouldn't be surprised if they start mandating a white quota, what with all the "can't even say you're white anymore or they put you in jail" crowd making so much fucking noise.
  • 1
    I'm glad to live in a country where this is super illegal
  • 2
    @MM83 Still illegal in the UK afaik. For now, anyway.
  • 0
    I cannot for the life of me understand policies like this. Isn't it discriminatory to make job decisions based on any factor other than the quality of the candidate? It shouldn't matter if they're a muslim black gay lesbian satanist, as long as they can write good code and don't force their views on anyone. Seems like diversity hires are just as bad as the problem they try to fix
  • 0
    @10Dev I agree.

    Except when it comes to purple people.

    Fuck purple people.
  • 0
    Dev: jesus christ
    manager: you are fired
  • 1
    @lazos Can’t fire me. Jesus christ is my sexual preference which makes my white ass a diversity hire.
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