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Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them

Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company

Comments
  • 31
    "Hi, we know you quit but we need your help and since you quit we won't pay you for it."

    "Ok, bye"
  • 8
    Feels like I should read it like it's a poem about a shitty company.
  • 6
    @boredtaco
    In poems, by lines,
    Rythm aligns
    Not here though
    A single rhyme
    Reused all the time
    Is serious crime
    And ugly.

    Also not a poem, but a low effort mimic of one.
  • 1
    @Lor-inc it was joke...🙄
  • 4
    Sounds like...

    Somebody hired their sibling!

    tadum-tssss

    ----

    with all seriousness - seen that happen. People would do jack shit, mess up with others and still get promoted....

    Tho, I saw one guy getting burned like that. He got to team manager level and his team pulled a prank on him (he was a bad member there). The prank included breaking some specific functionality that the "manager" wrote back in the days. Little did they know - manager actually hired an indian developer to do the job and actually has no clue how it works. So... To everyones surprise - when he was put at pc with CTO and CEO behing him - he quickly admitted that he always pretended and hired indian programmers.

    Since that day - company actually evaluates everyone periodically and equally. No more family members above all
  • 3
    Since we're already here with poems.

    Roses are red, violets are red, everything is red.
    Communism
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