Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

Me: may I have this dance?
Girl: no thank you.
Me: sudo may I have this dance?
Girl: o_O

When you've convinced a good number of your colleagues to try out Protonmail then you find out later that they're not using it anymore because it doesn't support the Gmail Android app 😬😬😬

Even if it's supported, WHAT THE FUCK is the point of using e2e encrypted email if you're accessing it using 3rd party apps?

Dev: "What if the user has more than 100 entries? How would that display?"
UX: "They won't ever have that many"
Dev: "But what if they do?"
UX: "They won't."

(spoiler: they do)

It's not a myth ! 😂

Why didn't I comment my code on Friday...

Meeting with an investor who brought two tech advisors.
Advisor A: you should consider using php.
Me: why?
Advisor B: node.js is older.
Me: :|

You can argue about advantages/disadvantages, but how the fuck can you argue with a fucking timeline?!

Microsoft Edge: "We support modern Web technologies."

!rant

Do you ever find yourself proudly staring at your beautiful code, forgetting everything else and suddenly noticing you've been at it for far too long?

Serbia. $600/month for

- full stack
- angular dev
- java spring boot backend dev
- jenkins
- ci/cd pipelines
- jira
- unit integration E2E tests
- kubernetes
- docker
- graphql
- postgres
- sql queries
- aws
- microservices
- deployments
- scala
- kafka
- maven/gradle
- bsc or msc cs degree
- in depth knowledge of
-- observables
-- design patterns
-- jwt and how it works
-- ssl certificates
-- solid principles

There is more but i forgot the rest

Trying to run a process on each CPU thread in our vps only to find that our vps has just one CPU and no multi threading. :/

We need an upgrade.

Warning: long rant

I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm the only person who cares about their privacy

I try, as much as I can, to avoid surveillance. I use firefox, protonmail, duckduckgo, e2e encrypted chat platforms, avoid social media like the plague, and do everything I can to block facebook and google trackers on websites I visit

And it's exhausting

Each search I make means I waste another 30 seconds because duckduckgo doesn't pull the answer directly from webpages like google does

I get weird looks when I give people a @protonmail email address, and I have to explain what it is to them every fucking time

People ask if I have social media, and I either give them nothing or my Github account

And for what? Nobody else cares, no matter how much I explain how toxic google and facebook are to society.

They just say 'I have nothing to hide' as they scroll Instagram, letting Zuckerberg build an intimately detailed profile on them.

They just say 'so what' as they google memes from their chrome browser, allowing google to share that information with god-knows-who

If everyone else has given up their privacy for convenience, why am I still fighting a losing battle?

It feels like I'm fighting a war against big tech by myself, and I'm tired and about to lay down my arms

Can I claim Spotify on expenses?

Am I a developer or a professional Googler?

This motherfucker cocksucker E2E tester first pings me on slack that we are good. And then mails my manager that we are not. I don't mind him pinging me at 2am in night. But atleast he should tell that directly to me first not making me look like a fool. Such an asshole. I might just leave my company because of him. Motherfucking son of bitch.

"The role: You will be designing and building responsive emails on a daily basis using HTML5/ CSS3/JavaScript"

Errrrrrrmmmm...

The "unit" in unit test does not mean your ENTIRE APPLICATION. Ever heard of scope!?

I am amazed how often people write overblown test setups, mock hundreds of unrelated services, just to test one tiny bit of logic.

That bit of logic could have been a pure function.

For that pure function you could write a dead simple unit test. Given that input, I expect that output. Nothing more, nothing less. (It helps even more if the pure functions only accepts primitives, like string and numbers, or very simple immutable value objects).

No I don't care that the service is used by another service, as your mocked interaction also doesn't test the service as a whole but you just assume the happy case most of the time anyway. You want to test the entire application? Let's not use unit tests for that but let's use a different kind of test for that (integration test, functional tests, e2e-tests).

If you write code in a way that easily allows for unit testing, your need to mock goes away.

Working on my personal projects really shows me how rushed the work is were I work, and it drives me crazy.

I know my code works 100% in my current project as it is unit and e2e tested, so I can edit it until the cows come home.. at work though, different story.

!rant
I have been lurking around here for about a month. Finally decided to write about how devRant motivates me. Whenever I read stuff I don't understand it makes me realize I've got so much more to learn. Happy new year :)

A Wild 500 Error Appeared :O

Least successful...

In a nutshell, an multi version http client for a elasticsearch.

It supported ES 1.7 up to v7.

With an reduced future set, but all in all it allowed doing everything ES offered - just not for one version, rather the whole monty.

For various reasons I wasn't allowed to opensource that...

Which brings me to the least successful part. The client is a beast and would be a blessing for a lot of people I'd guess, but it's sadly covered by more legalese than one could imagine.

Think of legalese as in "Angel - Wolfram and Heart" legalese. I wouldn't be surprised if some part of the contract was written in blood.

... And least successful as in: Nope. Never gonna do that again.

Abstractions necessary for supporting multiple versions are are really painful.

Having an E2E test suite consuming > 64 Gigabyte of RAM for testing against several ES docker instances in parallel isn't fun.

Nothing of that project was fun.

Still gives me nightmares.

(NDA expired short time ago)

Press X to JSON

So recently I saw a rant about a e2e encrypted social network and started to consider the idea, what do you guys / brother in code think about it

I started an e2e encrypted Dropbox clone, meaning file names and contents get encrypted client side prior to uploading. It also has a fairly advanced system for sharing links to files etc. But I got stuck at PDF previews which can't be generated on the server cause the file can't be decrypted there and I never finished it.

Stuck in writing some e2e tests for 15 hrs. Decided to say fuck it and go to bed only to wake up and solve the problem in 15 mins. Again sleep is the best debugger man 15 hrs is alot of hours staring at a damn screen.

So I wrote these E2E tests to test my credit card expiration notification emails. So I wrote my code, and tested it. Tests failed. I spent the next 6 hours (spanning 2 days) debugging my tests. Come to find out that the tests were fine all along. The issue was my code.

Apparently everything has dates starting at 1 (day starts at 1, year starts at 1). But MONTHS. Months start at 0

Real developers !🙈✔️

When someone tells you there app is 100% secure just because they use E2E encryption but using the Authorization header is too complex..

Goals for 2018
- Add E2E test or unit tests to my projects
- learn a new (programming language) perhaps Go, or Rust

Better have a few than too many

The time that I felt most like a Dev badass was when I had introduced an E2E test framework and added a bunch of helper classes to it so that our QA team could pick it up and write automated tests for the manual tests they had been doing for years.

Sure, the whole department got laid off after that because we had gotten a new CTO and all of my work was essentially for naught, but it made a lot of people enjoy showing up to work for the first time in a long time, and that was what mattered most to me

Coding the new functionality, 2 hours.
Writing and testing the unit test and e2e test, 2 weeks.

It has to be Keybase.

It is exactly what I need - A secure yet practical cloud storage, where only you own the crypto key, with the added bonus of maintaining a blockchain-based identity online, with proof system and all.
Also has a secure PKI-Based E2E chat when I want to talk to someone about something I don't want the general government to necessarily know.

Definitely recommend the service! Even with the odd decision to include an option of a Lumen crypto wallet or whatever, you can just ignore that feature if you're not into it and it doesn't slow you down.

i want to make a paid subscription service for products that can replace google's and are privacy-respecting. primarily email and messaging apps. all with optional e2e. cross platform, open source, all that good stuff.

after that, maybe add alternatives to google docs, or release a first party phone that runs a mobile os that runs lineage or something.

WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK CAN'T KENDO UI PRODUCE NORMAL FUCKING HTML AND PREDICTABLE GODDAMN BEHAVIOR I CAN EASILY WRITE GODDAMNED E2E TESTS FOR.

Shouldn't take me a fucking week to figure out how to get a fucking Kendo Integer Textbox to goddamned work in Cypress.

Fuck Kendo UI

I feel like most of the problems people are ranting about would never happen if they worked in a proper environment with lint checks, unit tests, e2e tests etc.

It's worth the effort to get it!

I'm an iOS developer and I cringe when I read job specs that require TDD or excessive unit testing. By excessive I mean demanding that unit tests need to written almost everywhere and using line coverage as a measure of success. I have many years of experience developing iOS apps in agencies and startups where I needed to be extremely time efficient while also keeping the code maintainable. And what I've learned is the importance of DRY, YAGNI and KISS over excessive unit testing. Sadly our industry has become obsessed with unit tests. I'm of the opinion that unit tests have their place, but integration and e2e tests have more value and should be prioritised, reserving unit tests for algorithmic code. Pushing for unit tests everywhere in my view is a ginormous waste of time that can't ever be repaid in quality, bug free code. Why? Because leads to making code testable through dependency injection and 'humble object' indirection layers, which increases the LoC and fragments code that would be easier to read over different classes. Add mocks, and together with the tests your LoC and complexity have tripled. 200% code size takes 200% the time to maintain. This time needs to be repaid - all this unit testing needs to save us 200% time in debugging or manual testing, which it doesn't unless you are an absolute rookie who writes the most terrible and buggy code imaginable, but if you're this terrible writing your production code, why should your tests be any better? It seems that especially big corporate shops love unit tests. Maybe they have enough money and resources to pay for all these hours wasted on unit tests. Maybe the developers can point their 10,000 unit tests when something goes wrong and say 'at least we tried'? Or maybe most developers don't know how to think and reason about their code before they type, and unit tests force them to do that?

Okay I'm probably going to get flak for this but...

WhatsApp chats are apparently e2e secure. Except when you back them up, right? Why not, when you create a backup (iCloud, google drive, whatever), have the app generate a password protected key pair and use that to encrypt/decrypt the backup?

When restoring the backup, use the password you set for the key et voila! While at rest, that backup is still encrypted.

Or have I missed something completely?

Damn you!! Yes, i am looking at you Protractor.

!rant

Finally managed to implement a proper E2E testing solution for our app with Protractor and Jasmine. Some basic tests (login and dashboard) are already working.

I'm just so happy to automate everything, going to cut down our manual testing time from 2h to about 20 to 30min if I'm estimating this correctly.

That's all. Just wanted to say I'm very happy with the results 😊

When devs have to test tickets end to end in stabilisation week that have passed in previous sprints because the company doesn't want to cough up more than 2 QAs...

I am not a tester. This is bullshit.

(Obviously I e2e test my tickets during the sprint before deploying and passing them on to QA to test and hopefully move on to 'Done')

I normally do front-end web development, but I am interested in learning some back-end. What are the best languages for back-end web development?

e2e test and unit-test passed at the first try. Something must be wrong.

I need some help here. I'm working on a my app, and one of the components is a chat. Now, for video and audio calls I am using WebRTC, but what about texts? Is there a way to use WebRTC there, preferably with E2E encryption?

Management wants me to write e2e tests instead of unit tests. The problem is there are e2e but not a single unit test... I plan on refusing.

PSA: Toilet paper goes in the toilet.