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I came early today to the office
Found the office locked
Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO
With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times
There u go.office door opened with welcome message
just hacked the system
Genius me11 -
//Le me
*Wants to open IntelliJ Idea*
*Searches 'Int'*
*Hits Enter*
Internet Explorer to the rescue
Internet Explorer: Finally, somebody remembered me!
*Internet Explorer opens*
Internet Explorer: *opens a bajillion new windows*
Internet Explorer:
Make me your default browser plz..
Internet Explorer: *freezes*
Me: Shit1 -
New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.9 -
When you open a 13-year-old PC that has never been opened and there's so much dust that even the vacuum is like "plz no" 😑7
-
Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.10
-
It's disheartening to see a senior member of my team shitting on the code of less mature developers. Don't just say "this is unacceptable", elaborate, teach them. How are they going to action anything from that feedback?
Take the time to respond to their questions when they ask for clarification on what you're saying. Don't berate them.
Honestly some developers need to learn a thing or two about code etiquette.
There's no room for good cop / bad cop behaviour.10 -
My last wk93 story, the time we discovered school faculty was spying on students and we uncovered student's deepest secrets.
I call it, kiddiegate.
So if you've read my past rants you've noticed I did some pretty childish and reckless stuff with my highschool's systems when I was younger, but nothing compares to this thing.
After resetting the sysadmin account pwd on some machines it occurred to me I could write a keylogger to capture teachers Moodle accounts and so on, I decided to try it out on a regular lab computer first.
Imagine my surprise when I found a hidden keylogger already installed! I couldn't believe it but then I thought, what if other PC's have it? So I recruited my mates and teached them the process to check if a PC had been infected...ALL PCs were, over 30 computers we checked had been logging for over 3 months! That damn sysadmin! >:[
We were shocked and angry, but then I thought "hey. . . My work has been done for me, better take advantage"
So we did, we extracted each log and then removed it from the PCs along with the keyloggers. There were hundreds of records and then one day we started snooping into the fb accounts of some students (we shouldn't have) we uncovered so many nasty, shocking secrets...
One of the school's lady's man had a drunk one nighter with one of our gay friends, the most secluded and shy guy was sexting like crazy with 15 chicks at the same time, things like that...we promised to never say a word and deleted the logs.
After that we didn't do much and continued highschool as every teenage minor should, getting drunk and avoiding responsibilities, though we could never see many of our classmates the same way. The sysadmin was fired shortly after I graduated, no reason was stablished.
I want to clear out we were minors and laws in my country weren't clearly stablished at the time plus no harm was ever done. I don't condone hacking or any kind of illegal activity, just thought I'd share.
6 -
Code isn't just something that you can just learn in three months. Stop the clickbait articles plz.
6 -
I just got this message, until now I thought these pictures are fake.
Looks like I have to start this app, if i want to be ready in time 😄
Human stupidity is an infinite loop...
23 -
So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:
[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)
I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".12 -
Just happened at my internship:
Guy: hey could you come over here for a sec and look at this problem?
me: Sure! *walks to table*
guy: the FTP server isn't working. I added config files etc but nothing!!
me: *does some terminal stuff*
me: uhm.... the ftp server isn't installed......
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *plz don't tell anyone face*
guy: could you pls install? *desperate look*2 -
People ask me why I don't use Windows 10 anymore.
This.*
*(Yes I can opt out of all that but how many average users do a fresh install of Windows?)
13 -
@dfox
Fat avatar plz.
Not all programmers are steve jobs, some are Steve Woz.
Not proud to be fat, not claiming fat shaming.
I just want to be represented.
Not upset if this is not possible, just a suggestion.
Willing to do the art myself if you like.13 -
Surprise surprise, that unrealistic deadline you set even when the engineering team told you that it wasn't going to work has backfired! Maybe you wouldn't be so stressed if you learnt to listen? It's a pretty basic skill, or at least I thought so.
Oh and when you say "we have two options, stay late or work weekends" you have a critical bug in your conditional. Your missing option 3, go the fuck home. Time to enjoy my weekend with friends and family.4 -
Google chrome
Plz come on
Just take the whole c drive for ur cache and stuff...
Dont take my whole ram12 -
so I compiled and printed some mini stickers for my laptop and thought I'd share them with the community. Great if you want to be subtle or don't like big stickers clogging the looks of your precious babe. All images are high res so you can expand them if you'd want that.
(stickers use black background cuz my laptop is black and its easier to cut out but you can change that)
PDF:
https://drive.google.com/open/...
For editing:(plz don't judge for using odp/pptx I was restless and only had openoffice to edit)
ODP:
https://drive.google.com/open/...
pptx:
https://drive.google.com/open/...
1 -
Today the lead developer and I where loling and wtfing hard to the following code:
if ($looked_column == true)
{
$trunca = 1;
}
else
{
$trunca = 1;
}
Mind you, we had no clue why he named the variable $trunca, and even then it had been set at the top of the file as 1 to begin with....was never used up to this line and $looked_column had also a set to true.
This is why a lot of people give php a bad reputation. This right here is why people make fun of php......15 -
Coming back to the office after being down with sickness for 3 days. Apparently the two other People on the project doesn't talk together, only when im the middle man making sure they talk, and we got a big test on Monday.....
2 -
I think Gihub/intellij has spoiled me. Whenever I get discounts or free stuff as a student/employee and it's not either completely free or 99.99% off I feel cheated.
Product - Oh you are a student? Here's $990 of this $1000 software, enjoy.
Me - Not completely free!? I'll take my cheap ass elsewhere thank you.
*Disclaimer - work percs are awesome plz no fire Mr. Bossman if you see this*10 -
Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*
I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...7 -
I was just browsing for freelancing jobs, found a NodeJs one that didn't sound like crap.
> Plz download attached project description
Ok *download and open PDF*
>Comic sans all over the place with blue and purple font color
NOPE!
5 -
Had my first coding interview today, and to be honest I didn't really nail it. Its surprisingly difficult to think clearly and critically when you have two strangers staring at you while you code. This is the 4th step of the interview process, hopefully my overall performance through the process is enough to get me through. Wish me luck (pretty plz)!3
-
PhD application saga:
So, the recommenders showed up. And one by one, the letters are rolling in. I am a little hopeful.
And also anxious since there's a mere 4% acceptance rate.
But now, we shall wait...
🐀
*Goes into hiding to anxiously binge-eat*15 -
The code im writing is so ugly that i am tempted to pay for github pro, just so i can hide it from society :D
I never thought that not coding for six months could do this much damage9 -
THE NEXT FUCKIN TIME I SEE SOMEONE SAY "hay, how do loop python PLZ HELP" instead of asking a goddamn search engine IM GONNA FIND YOU AND SLIP YOUR FUCKIN THROAT WHILE I KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKIN RIBS WITH ALL MY POWER AND SLOWLY DRINK MY COFFEE AFTER THAT.4
-
> be me a 23 y.o intern
> two years on self learned MEAN stack
> first day of intern<
> boss: we need you to become an iOS intern
> me: *whut*
> me: *thinking swift syntax is similar to JavaScript*
> me: OK, in swift ?
> boss: No, in Obj-C
> me: *fuck*
> spend 2 days to familiarize with Obj-C
> boss: Here's a bug, solve it.
> me: OK
> me: *checking their code for the first time*
> me: *fuck, fucking huge*
> me: *open up bug related ViewConttoller*
> me: *fuck, 6k lines of code*
> me: *fucking MVC*
> spend 2 hours to fix the bug <
> boss: you did great ! awesome
> me: *heh*
> boss: *announce to everyone* from now on INTERN will take over the project.
> me: *whut*
> boss: here's our roadmap plz implement features
> after 3 months <
> me fixing bug <
> me do feature development <
> me write shitty code <
.
.
.
repeat, life as an intern6 -
I’m pretty terrible at soldiering and small electronics in general, but I’m kind of okay with how this turned out.
Back story:
That helmet is my sister-in-law’s, she drives a polaris slingshot. (It’s technically a motorcycle here in the US because it has three wheels.) and she hooked up some EL wire to her helmet and the larger black rectangle in the picture is what the battery pack looked like before. (It takes two AA batteries.) and doesn’t have anyway to recharge them natively.
I did some research and found a neat little charging board (TP4056) and got her a small single cell li-ion battery for it. Now it’s not only less than half the length of the original, but it has a rechargeable battery and a charging circuit built in. The battery is 500mAh and lasts about 65-70mins on a charge. Personally, I feel like that’s not a good enough battery life on a charge, but my sis-in-law says that her and her slingshot friends usually only run with the EL lights on for 30 minute stretches at time so they should be able to get two to three uses before needing a recharge. Which btw, only takes about 35-40 minutes from completely dead.
The box looks like shit cause I literally hacked away at the original casing with a pocket knife and then crammed all the pieces back in and hot-glued the casing together. But I took measurements of the final-ish design and will try to find a small electronics box that will be able to house everything internally. (L: 1-3/4” W: 1-1/4” H: 1-1/4”)
6 -
"The client has an important meeting next week! You have two days!"
If it's that important why are we just hearing about it...6 -
Pattern I'm noticing...
*email* Hey, can you help me with my code, I don't know why it's not working...*end email*
no comments. if you wrote the shit and don't know what the blazes it's doing, how am i supposed to know what you broke? I'm not a mind reader, I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote the code.
true, I could go through and read it and try to figure it out, but then i'll be cranky and much less likely to want to help you in the future because you're causing unnecessary work, and part of my job is to get you ready for work environments, and I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY FUCKING POWER TO MAKE YOU THE ONE PERSON THAT EVERYONE DOESN'T HATE, BUT I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ME THE HELL OFF.1 -
"Plz create these new users, thanks"
Plz suck my nuts and click on the fucking "new" button yourself5 -
See, static typing? that shit is for putos. You think you're so cool with your advanced intellisense being able to tell you "yo....dat shit ain't the type you think it is" or your compiler telling you "yo dumbass, you fucked this parameter up in here, you are doing <x> when in reality you should be doing #@$@#$@!<X at line !@#@#$#>"
pfffft static typing. Such a pansy ass thing to worry about.
Picture us, working outside of the safety net of static typing, as jungle explorers, walking slowly, with a machete in hand and our other hand clutched tightly at our hip pistol, not knowing what to shoot at, but eagerly prepared for when shit fucks up because whatever the fuck you did was not properly safeguarded by a compiler to tell you that you fucked up, even if the compiler message is unintelligible (looking at you C and C++)
We is men here, we is brave retarded adventurers.
As our sanity blips into oblivion and we look at our code that has no sort of type checking expecting our shitty intellisense extensions to protect us....
Edit: if you can't understand the sarcasm in here and the plea for sanity then you are obviously a retard and have no place in the world of development21 -
Someone I know lost a job opportunity to an indian "consulting firm" later to be approached by the developers of said firm to help with a joke of a compensation.
This is glorious and one of the primary reasons why I hate trying to freelance.
Just imagine having an email with a thousand "Sir, please give how to do .....sir please this sir please that"
Absolutely gorgeous.11 -
Installing kali linux and say you're a hacker is like buying a pencil and say you're an artist, it's like using beta versions and complaining that it's unstable IT'S DUMB COME ON DON'T INSTALL THE ALPHA VERSION AND EXPECT IT TO WORK 100% PLZ FIX IM A 1337 HAXOR1
-
There’s a special place in hell for fuckwits who create tickets and don’t include the fucking error message.8
-
Umm yes, this cyber you're talking about sounds interesting, where do i get a cyber? How much does a cyber cost? Can a cyber feed my family?
-.-
4 -
Typical interaction in any XDA development thread:
User: How do I put these ROMs on my phone? Plz halp!
Me: ROOT -> flash RECOVERY -> enter recovery -> flash ROM -> flash Gapps -> profit.
User: How to get the roots? Can halp me?
Me: You're in a Nexus forum. There are directions on how to root everywhere.
User: I can't find. Plz halp.
Me: Fastboot oem unlock, fastboot flash recovery.img, flash SuperSU, flash ROM...
User: Where I can get fastboot?
Me: *link to Google developer's page*
User: Can you just tell me?
Me: No, you need to figure it out, so you know what you're doing.
*2 hours later*
User: HALP! I use toolkit for to get roots, and now phone won't come on! How to fix?! Halp, halp, halp!
*5 minutes later*
User: bump
Me: Looooooool11 -
Okay, so I have a question...
Although unethical, I’m considering disabling a clients services without warning. They’re 6 months behind on paying me and I have complete access over their network infrastructure. Upon reading our contract, I’ve made the mistake of incorporating services will be discontinued due to lack of payment... But, I know if I disable things they’re not smart enough to figure out why they aren’t working and call me... That’s when I’ll tell them that I can’t preform work until past bills are paid in full.
I’m located somewhere in the US. Is this too unethical, too illegal? I just want my fucking money... Thanks!
EDIT: Yes I have invoiced then monthly. They’ve received them because I had deliver al invoices to avoid the “oh I never received it” claims.25 -
Add a course that teaches people how to write and formulate questions.
So that people don't write questions like, "my code no work, plz halp".3 -
Nightmare IRL:
Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.
You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.
Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.
Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.
PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"
FML6 -
I always use "less" to display log files, always hoping the server gets what I mean by typing
less error.log #plz2 -
Legit got excited because today...on friday...one of our servers went down.
Why excited?
Tell me, do you know how fun it is to call your admin if he was "able to get it up" just for him to reply that he is having some "performance issues"?
Lmao it's fucking hilarious.
On another nothe, plz halp5 -
A word of advice to framework authors:
If I am currently using v2.5.5 of a library, and I update to 2.8.6, I would expect to maybe have to update a few deprecated method calls here and there.
I do not expect the entire API to be completely different, with half the classes totally renamed and restructured. Breaking changes should go into a new major version plz4 -
"OMG PLZ HELP NOBODY CAN CALL ME!!!¡¡ THIZ STUPID PHONE IS SO SHITTY"
Did you press anything?
"NOTHING I SWEAR!"
Yeah, I see that you are messing with the settings. Is that nothing to you?
I can understand that you accidentally navigate to the settings, but if you blame everything on your phone and lie to me, expect me to do the same.1 -
Sooooo I am not a fanboy. I do have my reservations when it comes to technology and whatever, but I live and let live and normally don't shit on stuff as long as it does not affect me or has any reasonable opportunity to affect others.
But my lead developer does, highly opinionated dude for a lot of shit (he ain't really my lead dev anymore in the sense of him being over me, i actually got promoted to a different department but have to continue working with him) and as such we sometimes go on some huuuuge rants regarding tech. With me, shit is simple man, you tell me you like something and I'll dig it, even if i don't necessarily dig it....i am pretty chill like that...ya dig?
Well the other day he was talking about how tvs like mine were too small for him, mine is a 55 inch, i don't think its small, it doesn't inconvenience me in any way really. But to his royal blindness shit is small.
I mentioned that I watch most of my shit lying down on my ipad pro, to were he starts talking massive amounts of shit about apple.
Now, as a previously hired and annoyed mobile developer, ios has a special place in my heart in which my only complaint about the platform was how xcode would fuck up from time to time. The languages were glorious(Obj C and swift) the cocoa apis were amazing(between ios and mac desktop....oooh la la) and the care that the apple store takes in not letting every other add infested garbage app to play a part in their store, the gloriousness of having your data secured as well as havinf applications compiled into the actual fucking operating system REALLY TOUCHES HOME WITH ME. ITS COOL IF IT AIN'T YOU, I AM TALKING ABOUT ME.
Oh. And ipads are smooth as fuck. This was something that I had to mention when he said that anything that I could do with my 1000+ dllr ipad could be done with his samsung table. Normally, I would be like "cool man" but diz doode insisted on making an android vs ios argument.
He insisted on me trying on his tablet. Boy it was the jankiest, laggiest shit I had laid hands on.......just like any other underpowered Android device. Don't get me wrong, my s9 works fucking amazing, but why in the name of heavens would you make an argument against a tablet whilst simultaneously using a piece of shit that doesn't even work properly? Are people really that delusional in their arguments that they would really be that wrong while still insisting on being right?12 -
love-hate relationship with Python semi-rant
The year is 2020.
I have already grown accustomed to the idea that in order to do ML without worrying too much about having to completely jump through hoops with the tech stack I have chosen that I would have to settle with Python, which I like.....for small scripts that don't do much other than piping data around or doing simple admin tasks, that is generally our use of Python at work.
For anything bigger I would prefer something else. Not because I find anything inherently horrible in Python, I find it to be a nice language overall, that has made it possible for many to find a passion inside of the world of development and possibly an interesting in overall engineering and computer science principles. Much respect Python, good game Guido VR, what you did changed the world.
But it is that damn whitespace that gets me, the need to use it as a way to properly write blocks, I just can't make myself like syntactical whitespace no matter what I do. I can do without static typing, shit I did it for the longest time with JS way tf before Node and Typescript were a thing, and I have done it before PHP's attempt at having type hints, which still leave much to be desired. Ruby(imho) the most elegant language around doesn't have it and that is fine really, it does not bother me as much, if mypy gets powerful and widely adopted enough it will then be a non-issue.
But another thing that the 4 languages i mentioned before have is non-existent syntactical whitespace......I just can't stand it.
So, why am I saying all of this nonsense? Today I wanted to recreate a conda environment and landed on the use of YAML............which has syntactic whitespace and I lost my shit.
I seldom bitch about languages and technologies, shit, I used VBScript before, not only did I get paid handsomely for it, but I fucking enjoyed it(probably cuz I am a masochist).
But two things I cannot abide: VBA and syntactic whitespace.
Once I get enough knowledge for it I will push for the same level of tooling in Python to be ported to Scala.
Thank you for coming to my whiny post about something as small as bitching about syntactic whitespace.8 -
Yours truly is gonna get published again (probably, most likely) but has to get their shit together and write faster because deadlines.
Send good vibes plz. I've been lazy lately.4 -
Gosh ! I'm a genius !
- Working on a Sysadmin school project
- configuring the firewall
- looking myself out
- beg my teacher for reinstall
Fml right now ...4 -
would software product companies plz start describing what the product *actually* does on their homepages? if u say ur product/framework/tool will help me leverage this or collaborate that, it's an almost zero entropy statement, because everyone says so. Are u selling coffee or a .net gui library? because both can help me make my software better and leverage whatever it's supposed to leverage .. so, pleaaase, just say what ur product does, if that doesn't sell it, using hyped catch all phrases won't either ...
oh, and stop calling ur products somethingfy or somethingly .. just stop -
Wife called
Wife: hello love, I will send you item number from online store, plz buy it for me.Bye
Me: minimize IDE and bring up firefox
Me: ok, let do this....!!!
WTF
7 -
Ask yourself as you plan the meeting:
1. Is an email a better solution to this?
If the answer is yes, plz just send the fucking email. Else, try and find a way to make it an email instead. If all else fails then yeah go ahead and have your stupid meeting. -
Some fegit: "test you"
*fegit sends outbound Facebook link to some Paki website*
(why not a direct link you moron?)
Fegit: "go."
Me (thinking): *what the fuck does this idiot want from me*
Me: "What makes you think that we want to prove ourselves to you by us doing your dirty work? We are not your personal army, so please fuck right off."
Fegit: "look out ya window"
Ehm yeah sure.. as if there's anything there. You'll need more than that to threaten me.
Me: "Anything to see there?"
Fegit: …
Fucking piece of shit. Look out your window you say. Wanna give it a try? To someone who masters the art of wrangling the angry pixies? I don't need a gun to kill people, you know ^^
Oh well. At least it wasn't a "plz huk Phasebuk" question I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
My f*cking laptop died. Well, the HDD did. And now I'll be without a computer until I have replaced this f*cking piece of hardware. I kinda wanna die.6
-
Bitch plz, in Argentina arrays start at two.
There is no platform 0 neither platform 1 in any station
2 -
Coworker: I did not progress much but at least I managed to get rid of all compiler warnings.
Me: That's okay. What were they about?
Coworker: No idea.
Me: How did you get rid of them then??
Coworker: I removed the "Wall" option when I use gcc. -
They are paying me 6€/h, to develop in fucking FoxPro, as a freelancer, illegally.
I don't know how to tell them I'd make way more money as a dogsitter (and also enjoy it way more).
It all began as a favor for my old company, "we really need it plz plz" and then I became a slave.15 -
So I found some weird library included in this legacy code, didn't really get what it does and why it's there though.
Turns out there's nothing to be found on the internet about it. Absolutely nothing.
So after browsing through the directory structure a bit more I discover a README file. Hoping for answers I opened it, only to find this...
3 -
Just 2 days spend on debuging a function !
Definition:
int func (int x, int y) {
...
}
Call :
int c = func (y, x);
I checked 1000 line for debuging this :-\
Plz remember that check your function args while debuging1 -
So we were supposed to have another good build today.
Supposed to.
This one guy on our team gets weird sometimes, and refuses to commit his shit until the last minute. He says "Don't worry, I'll handle all the merging, it'll be fine!"
What he forgets is that much of our code relies on his! His latest commits reworked a couple entry points and a class definition. No backwards compatibility.
He made his commit, and nearly our whole stack shit the bed. Jesus jumping Christ. Weekend? Nope.2 -
Android, please fuck off. I cant install/update apps because i don't have enough space. So 1gb of free memory is not enough for a 10mb app?
This is my 3rd android phone, and I've had the same issues on all of them.
Probably getting a iPhone 7. Sad, i know :(19 -
Hello fellow coders can you help me here plz.
I'm really confused whether to buy MACBOOK PRO 13 INCH or SURFACE PRO 4. Both of i5/8gbRam/256ssd specs. Price almost same in India.
My main use is programming ( web apps/ open source) + portability.
Factors I like in macbook pro:
1) unix based
2) best service here in India ( heard from answers on Quora )
3) DURABILITY ( heard from answers on Quora ) ( will last for many years without any glitch).
Factors I like in Surface pro 4:
1) its ultraportability
2) pen & touch
3) better typing experience ( since I code/blog for long hours)
4) native bash support
5) sexier than MBP :P
I really like SP4 over MBP but I'm worried about its durability and service(in India).
What are your thoughts on this guyz?
38 -
Keras was throwing errors...
Since I thought it was a tensorflow issue, I went up and down and all the way around. Installing all tensorflow shit like a bijillion times.
... But it wasn't. It was the fucking ipykernel...
It took me a good 5-6 hours.
I pulled a 12 hours day today.
... Somebody hug me plz 😢2 -
I'm too broke rn, so can all my tech devices not act up and cooperate until I have some disposable income again?
I'd appreciate that lots.
Cheers.6 -
Clojure developers: why has our awesome language not taken the world by storm? how do we get new developers interested in Clojure and Lisp! its not as hard as people make it out to be!!
Also Clojure developers: Yeh so we know you are all probably not used to an editor like emacs *crowd looks in confusion*....BUT YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD EMACS, INSTALL ALL THESE PLUGINS, MAKE SURE THAT THIS SHIT CALLED CIDER WORKS AND LEARN ALL OF THSE CTRL+<Fuck-Mx-You> COMBINATIONS!!
As someone that has been in the community for so long...I can't with the mentality of some of these people, and it scares me because I fear for Clojure disappearing.17 -
I really dislike when people don't use braces { } on if/else statements.
If(almond.harvestStatus == undefined) almond.harvestMode=false
almond.dropdown = false.2 -
I feel this should go without saying: When you submit your curriculum vitae to a company in search of a job offer, or at least an interview then plz plz plz pretty please eith cherries on top make sure that you at l ast tailored the application towards the general direction of the industry for which you are trying to apply.
Some of the applications we got......booooooooooy these people.....6 -
Does anyone know about HTML alternative stylesheets?
(Users can pick different css files)
After 3 years of web dev I just found out about this. It's awesome!4 -
In my free time I like to compile android ROMs for my device, and I couldn't get my favourite ROM, CarbonROM to compile, it was wining about a c file in a directory and I used a different repo, no sound after compiling but hey, at least it worked right?
Turns out there was a new commit that had messed up the compiler, and this commit was live for about 10 minutes, and I just so happened to be repo syncing at that time.
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. -
Apple 2018: we integrated uikit with Mac apps so now it will be way much easier to program for mac
Me: OMG THIS IS AMAIZING
Apple: all of these apps are now running on Mac with uikit
Me: yes!
Apple: this will be available to you developers in 2019 : )
Me: BICH WHAT THE FUCK?! -
My productivity has gone fucking low.
I have hundreds of things ti do , Prepare for exams, write code for my internship project,write code for my game, learn new things about ML,etc.
But all I fuckin do is play games all day instead of making mine!
Plz help, give me some words of encouragement or tell me something that you do to boost your productivity and keep away from distractions !6 -
Working in a organization that hire people that don't know what they doing and can't ask a question correctly...
HELP WE'RE GETTING AN ERROR IN OUR CODE WHILE TRYING TO GET DATA FROM YOUR DB... PLZ FIX IT
WTF IS NOT WORKING, WHAT ARE YOU QUERYING, WHAT IS THE ERROR?
**Sends a SQL query but with ? for all the parameters**
WTF..... U PPL ARE IDIOTS.... CAN'T EVEN ASK A QUESTION CORRECTLY OR PROVIDE NECESSARY INFORMATION... CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WTF UR DOING..
EVEN GOD CAN'T HELP YOU... -
Being the only one in my friend group who is a developer, I keep getting asked ridiculous things like "can you install XYZ for me?" "can you get rid of this virus for me?" "Can you fix my microwave?" I wish I was kidding.2
-
all documentation points to an Invalid auth token being code 400 (ignore the fact that this is a code in the JSON response and not HTTP)
Me: here iz credential. Plz send datas
API: haha fock off and die mate, then credentials you got there aren’t workin’
API: code 998 invalid auth token
Me: *speechless* so that’s why it took me longer than it did to find that error, because YOUR CODE WAS MISSING ALL MY CHECKS FOR CODE 400.
Why can’t people design apis properly.2 -
As we currently see a lot of codeless software platform, in the next 10 years there is gonna be high demand for people to extend these shitty apps into something proper, just like it happened with wordpress. There is a key missunderstanding that writing code and developing an application are the same thing; they are not.
Once you can write code you sure ass aren't a developer, thats a grueling journey until then, and being able to create an application without code exaggerates the problem even further.2 -
I think I finally found my level of lazyness:
I rather go 2 minutes by feet and take a 15 minute bus ride instead of going 5 minutes by feet to take a 3-4 minute metro ride.2 -
HOLY SHIT
FINALLY
AN APP THAT LETS ME USE FIREFOX I STEAD OF SAFARI ON MY FUCKING IPHONE
ITS NOT THAT DAMN HARD APPLE. YOU DID IT FOR THE MAC...
also devrant, plz add browser selection for iOS (yes I already submitted a GH issue)5 -
Am I the only one that wishes that YouTube to either:
-becomes a separate company from google (because, god damn it. Its the only app thats keeping me from going gappless or use microg)
-gets replaced entirely with something not related to google and actually respects the creators1 -
I hate having no inspiration, no good ideas and just feeling unmotivated. I have not came up with anything good in 1 year now so i just sit around rehearsing the function s i already know. If anyone has a good tip for coming up with ideas. Please let me know :)
TLDR I never get good ideas. Plz help.5 -
Developers. !=. God's of tech
Do ppl really think we know every single big apps error codes?!?!
Isint tht Googles job, I Google errors and solutions every day for like 1015 times.
Speachles
8 -
I want to make an AI bot from scratch. Where do I start? Which languages should I know? What IDE should I use?10
-
Check out my new website!
https://cozyplanes.github.io/
Redirection is temporary. plz wait 5sec
any suggestions welcome!
Please test download lunks and see if it works or not2 -
So I finished a contract (developing some webapp for a ministry in a foreign country). Well that's done. And they have the code and the fully built package that they just need to upload to a webserver.
Then I still get mails 'we were not able to deploy, plz fix your stuff!' without more detail.
Sometimes I loose all my faith in my fellow developers over there. Wow.1 -
!rant just a question. Sorry in advance for the long post.
I've been working in IT in Windows infrastructure and networking side of things for my entire career (5years) and recently was hired for a role working with AWS.
We use Macs and we use *nix distros for days. I've only ever dabbled for 'funsies' before with Linux because every previous job I held was a Windows house and f*** all else.
I'm just wondering if anyone here might have some insights as to a great way to learn the Linux environment and to learn it the right way. I'm not the best Windows admin ever and will never claim to be, but I have seen stuff that other people have done that makes me want to swing a brick at someone's head. And I feel that with all of the setup wizards and the "We'll just do it for you." approach that Windows has used since forever it allowed enough wiggle room for people that didn't know what they were doing to f*** sh*t up royally. I'm not familiar enough with Linux to know if this is also a common problem. I know that having literal full-access to every file in your OS can cause a n00b like myself to mess up royal, thus the question about learning Linux the right way.
I vaguely understand the organization of the folders and file structure within Linux, and I know some very basic commands.
sudo rm -rf /*
Just kidding
But All of my co-workers at my new job are like mighty oaks of knowledge while I'm a tiny sapling. And at times I've been intimidated by how little I know, but equally motivated to try and play catch-up.
In addition to all of this, I really want to start learning how to program. I've tried learning multiple times from places like codecademy.com, YouTube tutorials, and codeschool.com but I feel like I'm missing the lesson that explains why to use a certain operation instead of another. Example: if/else in lieu of a switch.
I'm also failing to get the concept of syntax in certain languages I've tried before. Java comes to mind real fast.
The first language I tried teaching myself was C++ from YouTube. I ended up having a fever dream that night about coding and woke up in a cold sweat. Literally, like brain overload or something. I was watching tutorials for like 9 hours straight.
Does anyone know of a training resource that will explain, in terms a 5 year old would understand, what the code is doing and why? I really want to learn but I'm starting to lose steam cause I'm just not getting it.
Thank you in advance for any tips guys and gals. I really appreciate it. Sorry for the ridiculously long questions.5 -
I am so sick of a senior developer that has no idea how to be a manager. I've been a manager before and it is not that hard. I came into this job thinking that it was going to be a fresh start, but instead all the haunting projects from incompetent developers that worked before me followed me to this team as well... (we are in the same company, just different teams) My boss thinks I'm an "expert" in everything, and everyone else on the team has no idea what is going on. I have to spend all of my time babysitting every other developer, and I don't get any coding done myself, yet I'm still expected to make my deadlines.
I need a new gig so bad I'm sick. The stress level is getting pretty bad. I've already had cancer once. I don't want to go through it again... Plz hlp4 -
Made a comparison of a rather large codebase that I did for a client before in flask to perl dancer2 and ror. Obviously the rails codebase is larger. The flask version remains as minimal as it once did, even considering blueprints and the dancer version is small but really expandable and powerfull. It has some great things, it was inspired by sinatra so it has that magical approach to doing things but the code is solid and easy to understand imho. They really make it towards perl code is not the unreadable codebase as it once was and the syntax just clicks. Even for its api capabilities it works amazing with the front end (Vue.js) and I can honestly say that I really enjoy it.
-
As a mobile developer I get fucking pissed off when I get a ticket on Jira saying: Response code 500
The server fucked up why am I the one to be reached for? Especially that code is displayed when no response body is returned -
Everybody is complaining about Windows 10 updates, which makes me relish having turned off Windows Update ~7 years ago on my home pc. Everything has been working with minimal pain I the ass.
Yes, I'm perfectly fine with XP 😁7 -
When Xcode 9.3 is available, but Swift.org hasn’t updated to Swift 4.1 yet.
What the hell? 🤦🏻♂️
Update:: just kidding, it shows apparently. Ugh.2 -
Man im alt tabbing between
Php Laravel, Typescript ionic, Html design
for last 20hours ... No i havent slept
Neglecting the fact that i have autism from the equation,It Seems to me that im doing a lot of hardwork..
Can i call myself a full stack developer ???
Plz ... pretty plz....10 -
Ok, so, serious question.
How the frick do you time a music game properly?
IN C#?
...Ok, maybe in C# it's just impossible, isn't it? Because I've done a metronome, it kinda works, but it's... wobbly... Because the thread stops every time the music effect is being played.
And also how do you make the notes...? ...I should design an entire editor for charts/maps, I guess, but how do I make that in C#?
So maybe I should try in Unity?
What do you think? I want to make a music game so bad ;–;8 -
Good oop is hard to implenent and keep track off in my experience.
I have seen projects so hard which have such large hierarchies and reused components that even the most minimal change breaks an entire change. Dependency injection is a pretty cool tool to use, but I have seen more people fuck it up and make something that supposedly removes tightly coupled components be the extreme opposite.
Remember your basics people. Fuck
Ok everything is good now. Happy thoughts...nuthing but happy thoughts16 -
The moment when u write a sarcastic joke (comment/rant), but you do not actually post it, fearing --s from super serious people.8
-
Backend : *breaks feature in prod by changing api*
Me: Feature is broken in prod. Please fix. I was told that the API will not deprecate the old use case.
Backend: ... Fixing it in the backend will take time. Add support for it in the frontend.
Me: I'm not done with the new feature just yet. And it will take some time to have it reviewed and fully tested. Please fix the API.
Backend: .... Well, make a new PR and add support for it first. The new feature can come later.
Me. (-_-) Okay
Sometimes it feels like I'm a code janitor rather than a frontend intern2 -
Be nice, they said.
StackOverflow should be more welcoming, they said.
C00lHoker99 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct, they said.
Oh, for fucks sake...
Nobody is going to be nice to drunk hobo that shits in the middle of the library.
Duplicate, no MCVE, bluntly offtopic and "do my job plz asap" questions doesn't deserve any niceness from community.
If you feel like SO isn't welcoming, that's certainly your fault.
And what now? Instead of answering good questions and being **nice to nice fellows** we are swimming in Pacific Crapocean. Nnnnnniiiiiicccceeee2 -
Nothing shits me more than being interrupted every two hours for a "huddle". Shove your buzzword up your ass and fuck off so I can actually get some work done. What am I currently working on? The same fucking thing I was doing before you interrupted me again for a status update.1
-
Plz help...
I’m a student and developer, working every night my butt off for the last 2 years, not going to sleep till 2,3,4,5am, and taking tablets to keep my brain running and not fall asleep. Getting clients and about to sell my programming company in 2 months...
My programming teacher teaches the class such basic shit, she explains the topic very well, but for me she’s explaining how to do 2+2... last time I starred of to the window and almost started crying...
I’m very passionate about programming, Work sucks cause I need to make secure smart systems with math that take forever, I want to at least enjoy it In class, but it’s torture, fucking torture...
What should I do?6 -
I am trying to "invent" secure client-side authentication where all data are stored in browser encrypted and only accessible with the correct password. My question is, what is your opinion about my idea. If you think it is not secure or there is possible backdoor, let me know.
// INPUT:
- test string (hidden, random, random length)
- password
- password again
// THEN:
- hash test string with sha-512
- encrypt test string with password
- save hash of test string
// AUTH:
- decrypt test string
- hash decrypted string with sha-512
- compare hashes
- create password hash sha-512 (and delete password from memory, so you cannot get it somehow - possible hole here because hash is reversible with brute force)
// DATA PROCESSING
- encrypt/decrypt with password hash as secret (AES-256)
Thanks!
EDIT: Maybe some salt for test string would be nice8 -
I started using Keepass like 2 months ago, and recently i started going through all my email accounts to compile a list of all the services i've ever signed up to; delete the accounts you don't need and move everything else to keepass with a strong passwd, that was the plan.
I'm still going, but out of the 60 i have so far, 10 sites just had the password, *in plain text*, in the confirmation email!! I don't even konw anymore, just end me now plz 😢7 -
Hey devRant people !
How are you ?
I’ve a question, do you know a website like FrontendMaster, CloudAcademy or LinuxAcademy but ... for backend stuff ?
EdX, Udemy and all are very good but I would like to find a platform specialized in this topic.3 -
Interesting weather we're having... is it Winter, Spring or Summer?
BTW if anyone is in NYC today... http://www.japandaynyc.org
Was planning to go and have a fun day out but forecast keeps changing and said it gonna rain... With 90 wait... 80... 60... now 50% probability....
(I live in NJ, takes me 2hrs to get there, can't drive)
Someone plz figure out how to forecast weather more accurately........😩😢😭😟😞😖😧😦
7 -
TGIF & remember..
DO NO FUCKING PUSH TO PRODUCTION TODAY!
DO NOT FUCKING RELEASE A NEW VERSION OF THE CLIENT APP!
FUCK!!
have a nice weekend partners 🤗1 -
SWE in fintech in MNC, job involves "bigdata' . Get paid >> avg
I FUCKING HATE IT. THIS PLACE IS A REAL DREAM-KILLER.
Size of the big-data ??? <50 GB ! Entire place runs on gimmicks and show off.
PO is a dumb cock sucker with minimal tech idea. He is busy sucking up business users and dictating us to rearrange tiles on reports all day long.
Fed up with all this shit , I decided to give GRE and apply for masters in Computer Vision .
For good GRE verbal score , I need to learn 1100 words , 90% of which I have never heard in my entire life.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ????????
Will my dream of working as a vision scientist for autonomous cars never come to life ???????
😢😢😢 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Plz motivate me to get out of this shit-hole -
I fucking hate those cringy Indians commenting dogshit on almost every youtube video. Never have I even seen anyone more dumb than these retards. Almost every programming tutorial on youtube is infested with "plese sir pls teach me hw to hck i wnt to be a hckr" and "sir my phone no is xxxx and my email id is xxxx send me the cod plz". I mean even on css tutorial videos? seriously? No other third world country has such boneheads. I just hope each and every retard like this drops dead the moment they write stuff like this.14
-
Teammate turned my neat minimal service architecture into dog's breakfast.
Now I don't know which one I hate more. Him or ROS.4 -
I have friends married to girls from the Philipines. If there are some people from said country in here, would you mind telling me why their FB names, instagram names or whatever are things like:
"Cee La SomeShit still Trying <white dude surname>"
"Beauty Hope LoveThisSwag <whatever last name>"
"Leyla StillHaveDabooty <white surname>"
Like wtf, just put your fucking name, shit sounds SO fucking trashy4 -
You know, it's way past 2 AM and I'm insomniac (as usual) and ... I'm overthinking. Someone distract me plz until I fall asleep.
...on another note, if you can, show me a motivational video that has actually motivated you.18 -
On call with customer
Cstmr: What version is this?
Me: Can I see the build number plz?
Cstmr: Yeah
Me: *checks against internal doc*
Me: It's version X
Cstmr: Are you sure?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure
Cstmr: I'm gonna check
Cstmr: *mutes me and spends 10mins finding public version of the doc*
Cstmr: Ah, it's update X
Me: *................* yes2 -
>Raspberry Pi on 16GB SD card
>Plugs in 2 flash drives for space, one 8GB and one 32GB
>8GB is allocated entirely for swap
>32GB is separated into 3 partitions and /etc/fstab edited to mount them on /home, /opt and /usr
>Moves files to the proper partitions on stick
>Kernel panic on boot before keyboard is enabled, kernel panic data taller than screen
>No R/W FS for kernel to dump to
fuck my life4 -
The fact that I need to make this shit multimodal is gonna be a whole different level of shitshow. 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦
Somebody kill me plz.
Today I tried to concatenate a LSTM unit with a FC and was wondering why it was throwing weird shapes at me. 🤦
Yes, I was THE idiot.
Kill me.19 -
What do you do when you are hungry/peckish and it's late?
It's 🌃 time and I don't have anything to eat (except maybe some stupid cookies)
I wish I could do
'npm i snacks'
or
'sudo apt-get snacks'
And I would receive snacks from my computer or something..
npm might also give some extra snacks plus ingredients as dependencies 😅
Maybe I can make coffee..☕?2 -
Stop shoving Django admin down everyones throat as a client facing solution every time we need any admin functionality.
It’s great at first but then you have to dick around customising it when you could build the same thing with any modern frontend framework and REST API easily.
Not to mention Django admin couples the models to the view it provides you (inlining particular models given their relationships) -
I have a lot to say..
In my project theres a design department, since the beginning of the project they didn't want to be part of the scrum methodology..(they used to work waterfall..)
So.. they have a disorder on the user history needs, and they argue for every request that we need to finish the history..
They dont go to the plannings, dailys.. they dont know shiet!
And meanwhile telling u this rant im getting mad as fuck..
so at this point i cant even explain how FUCKING UPSET I AM & WHY THE FUCK people reject the change and decides to work by their own! fuck this!
anyways ill share 2 storys ( i have a lot..)
1. "Raise your hand if you dont know whats a button?"
So we created a standard button to be re used it in other forms..
The designer came late to the planning, and decided to change the button layout (again x4) & it's behavior, so he wanted "the button disabled, but not disabled", since he wasnt able to explain it as well, he got upset.. and said that we didn't know about how a button works & asked the public to raise up the hand who didnt know what is a button.. and we were like :
dude are u fucking serius?.. u cant even explain what the fuck u want, u came late, and know u act like if you teach about ux & design? fucking rockstars..
2. "why do you call me to the planning if you don't need anything from me?"
We ask and required the designer to be in the plannings to avoid the disorder and the delivery delays..
that day we didn't require anything from the designer, so he started complaining that we called him for no reason..
me : dude, d u even realize why is this meeting called planning? -
#include <advice>
using namespace plz;
So I have a soft cozy internship for a large retail corporation, the workplace is fantastic and the people are nice. We run into problems where this company outsources to India for almost all of its programming leaving their "software engineers" to answer emails and support 15 year old applications. This is obviously not the work I want to be doing. I want to create. This company also pays slightly less than average for an entry level programmer. I have one year of college left as well. At the end of this internship it is almost guaranteed that I get a full time offer but I only get 2 months to accept or decline. I feel like I'll say no.
So I guess what I'm asking is, should I turn down the safe first job and go for work that will make me excited in the morning or take the easy soft underpaid email answering job?
Thanks guys3 -
Really crossing my fingers at the idea of an Iphone SE2 :( i really want that to happen.
I don't really like retarded big phones and there aren't that many options in the Android area that I like.
And no, I ain't a fucking fan boy. It can be a windows phone and if i dig it i'll buy it.5 -
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!
I fucking forgot to commit changes before pull, fuck! How do I get my files back.......plz9 -
I NEED COFFEE HELP PLZ! :'(
I have a long time working on a project, since I started taking coffee in the mornings i realized that the coffee sucks..
So i looked for it and realized that old coffee was processed every day with the new coffee...
Anyways..
Im up to shitty project, shitty pc, shitty documentation, stress, pressure..w/e i don't care..
What I can't FUCKING stand is a disgusting coffee that tastes horrible! D:<
Is it too much to ask?? :'(6 -
Anyone have any good suggestions for Java IDEs/Editors? I'm using Eclipse right now, and since I'm a student I can get IntelliJ Ultimate free, except I can't figure out why the run/debug buttons are greyed out...
Also would be cool to suggest good dark themes for whichever program you guys mention. And which OS would be good to use? I'm thinking Ubuntu right now
Plz don't hate for these dumb questions, I'm only a first year xD8 -
Come on, WordPress! Why are you such an asshole? I just want to migrate and move on with my life.
Is it because I started with Joomla? Is it because I cheated you with Flask?
Can you please, please be nice to the same db you made? Am I asking to much for?1 -
I would love to finish a personal project that I've spent three summers making. Wrote 3500+ lines of code and never got around to finishing it. 😕3
-
tl;dr: "Hey everyone plz look at me! I'v rebranded 'Vanilla CSS', look at me plz!!!"
...How to create a buzzword, lesson 1 :
Make a blog post about your freshly-pooped buzzword and start that same post by some poorly crafted pseudo-meta-thinking about buzzwords, just enough to try hard enforcing the idea that we still don't have enough of these bullshits and so yours is needed even if it's totally useless.
https://webdesignerdepot.com/2018/...2 -
App Developer - Today, I have published an app for saving anyone's work routine.....plz download it from play store
Web Developer - Sure! I will and I also have a website for my business. You should visit it once
App Developer - What is your monthly income?
Web Developer - About $2100
App Developer - Uh! mine will be more than urs if it reaches more than 100K downloads
Web Developer - Sure!
(1 year later)
App Developer - Oh Shit! I forgot to add ads using admob......earned only $52 -
me looks at chromebook
chromebook plz dont add an os to me
one eternitey lator
me this is now a linux book3 -
When your coworker is a "yes...but". If your solution is either non-existent, or vague, and mine is actual code, PLZ STFU. Nobody wants your "constructive criticism".1
-
My name was Quiet Array -- I showed it, printed on my ID card, to some waitress. She asked for my hand in holy matrimony, and we got married by a soda dispenser. Immediately went our separate ways. I fiddled around with some runes on my galaxy-sized stash and invented a new way to sodomize demons, but the arcane secrets got lost in translation.
Then I woke up, and my first thought was: "shit, what a cheap-ass discount kiki dream".4 -
Folks,
I've copied a folder(size: 10.7GB) to external HD, and it's occupying 154GB on external disk.
yes, the folder has a lot of small files in it. but ..
Surprisingly, the same folder occupy 10.8GB on internal HD. and that drive is not compressed.
I defragmented external HD, problem still unresolved.
* allocation unit size is default(4096B) on both the disks. both are NTFS
Plz, help me, explain me... :-(
11 -
Anyone else get really bogged down in a project and just lose any direction? :-/
I know what I want to do and a rough idea to do it but, I just don't know where to go from this point, any tips on how to get out of it? -
Can someone plz tell me that are subjects like OOAD(object oriented analysis and design) or requirements engineering actually useful in real projects and jobs...?3
-
Noob alert !
Plz feed me some c# projects!!
Mayn i ve been only reading and learning from book(c# 7.0 in a nutshell) i feel like i need to implement the stuff i learned so paliz help me daddy !
Again i am noob simple uni projects would be fine!
Projects with oop datastructure and simple database would do the job!
But if you have better suggestions feed me !
Thanks :)26 -
I'm drunk and just scrolling through here looking for pictures coz I'm way too out of it to read.
Moar funnies plz?1 -
!rant && load('epilogue');
So I saw my little brother yesterday and... Hell, I don't know. The addiction thing is less a thing that I expected, it's just that he can't find anything else to do than going on minecraft multiplayer servers and play, play, play. Gotta be honest, his life outside high school is pretty boring.
I mean, if I were him with this the few responsibilities, I'd be even worst than him, so how can I blame him?
Still, I had a big discussion with him where I tried to make him see what could go wrong if he fails (in a soft way), and helped him with french and english homeworks (french is our native language but a pain in the ass to learn 😁).
I do believe that saying all this "plz don't ruin your life this early plz" stuff had made him react, I just can't tell how deep and for how long. My main goal was to make sure that he won't feel helpless if he ever struggles for whatever reason.
However, since kids don't get shipped with a README.md, I just hope I did the right thing at the right time, and that he'll actually remember this discussion. But fuuuuck, he's 11 years old 😓😓
Side notes, I asked him about being a developer but it's pretty obvious that it was too early to speak with him about this. Might try again next year or the year after.
Thoughts ? I'll try to answee to you all2 -
Ok, this question is related to mysql and php.,
Let me state the current situation
I have a db, say "gd".
That db has several tables all with same columns.(i.e same fields for different manufacturers such as product name, cost , stock etc.)
Now i want to know how many tables have the product 'a' in them and what's the cost of 'a' in each of those table.(tables are generated dynamically so I'll never now how many tables are there, well ofcourse i can refer information schema, but just wanted to highlight this fact). So is there a way to achieve this?.. excluding "dump the whole data and then search it" solution.
Plz help, .. sorry for my bad English, .9 -
Should i go for c# or java i am very confused with because ia want to develop some games using unity 3d but in my country there are not many jobs in this field , i am very confused with this plz help me 😢
What should i learn for my future shall i go for c # or java?6 -
PLZ tell me I'm not the only idiot who without a fkn exception has to rewrite environemnt, I mean enviroment, SHIT, sorry environment multiple times cause my brain doesn't compute the fkn spelling of it.
9/10 times I have to google it....3 -
You may find his funny, bt do answer it honestly, as a Unity dev,I have been using windows for past 3 years cause I have no option,now my question is
WHY SHOULD I USE UBUNTU ?
Plz state the benefits over windows.
Thanks :)13 -
Hello fellow Ranters,
I'm in need of some help, I want to try building a small website, like maybe 4 pages worth of work for my uncle. But I'd like to build it in such a way that a non-programmer (my uncle) could upload photos to a portfolio section through an administrative console page. I'm doing this mostly to learn how to build something like this and also as a side project to help out my uncle.
From what I've read, I'm thinking that Angular (maybe?) might be the right way to go about building dynamic pages, but I'm not really sure and was wondering what you guys would suggest? If possible can you please also recommend a place where I can find examples for something like this?
Thank you in advance for your help and recommendations, I really appreciate it!!!7 -
*Wakes up*
*Message from aunt*
Aunt: Hey sweety I can't find this movie anywhere on the internet plz use ur cyber superpowers and help me thx
Aunt: *Link to the movie's trailer on Youtube*
*Clicks link*
*Scrolls down*
Youtube comment: *Link to the movie*
*Copies and pastes to aunt*
Aunt: omg thxxx <3
*Goes back to sleep*
Because why even try when you can ask your nephew to do it for you?3 -
What baffles me is how despite being on version 3 of Swift, Apple still havent updated Xcodes refactoring tools to support it. All I want to do is rename a variable or function but oh no. "Xcode can only refactor C or Objective-C code". Yet they are plowing on with new features in other areas like the interface builder but completely ignoring the tools that make IDEs useful.
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A tale as old as time:
Customer: "This is wrong in all these X places!?!?!?"
-screenshots, panic, etc.-
Many emails and clarifications later we find out it is wrong ... in just ONE place ... and it wasn't even one of their initial examples.
Customer: "Why does this take so long to fix???"
Bro.... -
Can someone plz give me a title on my CV as an Xcode developer, just completed the first 30 pages of headfirst😂
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I need the +1000 to match my shoes. :/
@dfox can we have sweaters instead of shirts for the winter?
4 -
This is why i hate android ... look at this REVIEW i received today:
"PLZ WORK ON IT ITS JOR WORK ON FB MESSENGER BEFORE DAYS PLEASE DO SMTHNG" what am i supposed to understand xD, i tried it on my device and my friends one its working like a charm :(3 -
Would be amazing if devrant grouped the question answers, because when some famous question post is answered all that answers are thrown in my face in the same format than rants and bugs my mind.
Just group that shit, plz!!!3 -
Gitlab issues and their mile long conversations are driving my crazy.
I just wanted to find out if a fcking feature exists. Oh, there is a ticket ... ah cool opened 4 years ago ... still unresolved?!
Thats fine, maybe they are planing shit. But no, their discussion lasts for freaking years. And than it just gets lost or fcking closed. I mean what the hack?!
Sometimes even paying customers are getting freaking ignored or like ... ugh might be a cool feature, but plz fck off ...
That happened to me so many freaking times. Its driving me crazy!4 -
today started as a great sunny day. but really my nightmare began a couple of nights ago. i installed gnome on linux by accident, all i wanted to do was create a desktop link to a webapp in my files. Since then, I have been offered updates by ubuntu. well today i couldnt pass up the offer. and after the update my broadcom driver stopped working. has anyone dealt with the bullshit that is broadcom on linux?! i wanted to reset the connection so i click to stop using the driver. window comes up says its out of date. now the driver has completely disappeared! wtf!!! now i need a dark wizard and to sacrifize my first born to get internet on my baby back.... fuuuuuuuu
plz help if you know..
stuck at work so wont be able to try till tonight. anxiety is real6 -
Plz help ... what is the difference between software developer and software engineer? ( example of jobs for both )6
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I hate all the companies who dont accept me i wish them just a little bit of iq they are so so so so mean😢
Goddddd what r u doing exactly?
Pleaseeeeeee do something a good thing plz😌5 -
Don't suppose any mac user's out there feel like helping me test my application's demo?
Can only compile for mac bu can't test unfortunately :-/2 -
Anybody knows of any openings (remote /South Florida) for a competent junior full stack web/js dev? Im black AND international, so if you're looking for some 'diversity in the workplace', I'm your man
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If anyone has ANYTHING to say about the language C plz do i want to know what the dev community thinks?5
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Totally done with all the blockchain hype. Plz when I need a distributed secure ledger over time functionality I will be the first to consider bc. But until then just stfu1
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Why AwS and not Gcp ?
I find that firebase+gcp is so powerful !
Aws is so complicated ...
Give me your opinions plz. Especially if u moved from one to another8 -
How to set the up a stagging environment for a github branch in heroku.
Lets say i have a master branch and a dev branch. All the changes and updates first pushed to dev branch and after successful review and test in goes to master branch.
But the issue is as i'm following the gitflow of keeping the master branch always deployable.since my heroku app is linked to the master branch, when i try to test the dev branch in production environment of heroku,sometimes it breaks for some error.and at that time the sites goes down untill i redeploy the master branch as it's the stable version .So how do i test a branch in heroku production environment while also keeping the the site active with master branch. it that makes any sense 🤡 plz help3 -
I guess I'll soon have some fixing to do as my grandparents' PC just got ransomwared (is that even a verb? No? Well it is now) by the CryptXXX thingy (I think at least as they're files are encyrpted now, I haven't gotten a hands on yet)2
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ummmm an update without where..
mates, if you are reading this plz forgive me! i was not focused!!
One fucking mistake! not a big deal.. -
Halp meh, plz... I have run across a problem and I have absolutely no idea how to go about solving it...
So basically I need to decrypt a TDES encrypted Azure service bus message. Can be done in a straightforward manner in .NET Framework solution with just your regular old System.Security.Cryptography namespace methods. As per MSDN docs you'd expect it to work in a .NET Core solution as well... No, no it doesn't. Getting an exception "Padding is invalid and cannot be removed". Narrowed the cause down to just something weird and undocumented happening due to Framework <> Core....
And before someone says 'just use .NET Framework then', let me clarify that it's not a possibility. While in production it could be viable, I'm not developing on a Windows machine...
How do I go about solving this issue? Any tips and pointers?10 -
Does anyone of Europe know about studying abroad?
I want to study my master degree out of my country, and I'm currently searching for opportunities or whatsoever.
Any info it's well appreciated9 -
I hate nothing as much as I hate endings. I'll go to lengths to avoid putting an end to anything.
So I'm super anxious these days trying to put an end to a project I've been working on for a long-ish while. 😐
Literally I rather having nerve diseases and be in pain 24/7 than submitting it.
Kill me plz. 😫3 -
Anyone experiencing a sudden lag of their logitech unifying ?
When mouse pointer lag it get me on the nerves, and can"t find any solution yet.
Plz help, i switched for a wired mouse for now.
I saw that it may be to do with usb power management. Drivers ?
Any ideas ?4 -
For a while my social life was fuck all due to death marches and poorly managed projects. I’d be so exhausted by the time the weekend rolled around that I just didn’t want to do anything.
Sticking to a healthy work schedule and prioritising family and friends after an 8 hour workday did wonders.
On weekends I just tell me wife that I want to look at technology x for a couple of hours and we plan our day around that.
Also, finding social events I want to attend like DnD made a huge difference. -
Plz give a suggestion
I want a laptop to develop programs with swift and Xcode.
I am considering MacBook Pro 13" 2012 non retina 4gb ram,500gb internal memory7 -
Can anyone plz help me open my laravel project on my localhost server ubuntu ? ( I have cloned it from my gitlab repo) its not opening on my server.5
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I want to add Python programmers engineer , SQL Server engineer, machine learning engineer on my social media like Instagram , Snapchat , LinkedIn , WhatsApp etc . To know about better understanding of these languages and their concepts and explore more in engineering field . Plz comments your I'd and be my mentor .
Your friend ,
Degel(Rahul Vishwas)2 -
Plz help me to choose between two offers.
First one is a services provider firm where I would get to work alone on projects for clients. The con is their is no Senior Android Developer's in the firm
Second one is a startup where I will be working with a team on their product.
Points to be noted :
1) I am a fresher
2) both companies are offering me same position (Android Developer ) and salary.4
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