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"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"
"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."8 -
Me: "Hey, I see you've started your class name with a lowercase letter, It's common practice to start it with a capital letter"
Co-worker that started two weeks ago with almost no experience in c++: "Oh, right. You women and your rules, you must know it then"
Me: *Awkward laugh* *Thinking as long as he changes it i'll let that one slip* *Sends him coding standard guide just in case he doesn't believe me*
-- Two days later --
He still didn't fucking change it. It pains my eyes to look at it each time he asks me for help. Oh and stop calling me "miss", I have a name.46 -
This guy is the best coworker ever. He analyzes my algorithms, advises me when to eat or take breaks, and reminds me not to take life too seriously. He's pretty helpful with debugging too.
11 -
Another funny Linux encounter from my study that I suddenly remembered.
This guy said he didn't want to work with things/services that use Linux because he wanted to support software devs by buying software. I get the idea but yah...
Linux teacher: well then why don't you start with disconnecting from the WiFi. After that drop services like fb and WhatsApp which you use a lot. Also, good luck in the dev world as you're mooost probably going to encounter Linux and for being able to finish this study you'll need to succeed on Linux classes as well!
He just sat there like 'help'. A lot of fellow students were giggling as well.
Really though, my Linux teacher was an awesome young guy!11 -
You can take the girl out of C++, but you can't take the C++ out of the girl.
I got this as a feedback to the Matlab assignment I submitted.
6 -
Business: How long will it take to add that feature to the legacy system?
Programmer: When will the new system be implemented?
Business: 6 months
Programmer: The new feature will take 7 months3 -
Take my dollar. Take. My. Dollar.
TAKE MY DOLLAR. I WANT A DR PEPPER. THIS IS A GOOD DOLLAR. ACCEPT IT. YOU ARE MY MECHANICAL BITCH. I WISH TO EXCHANGE MONEY FOR GOODS. I WILL LITERAL-
Oh, okay. You took it. That's what I thought.4 -
Me: Hey can I take a byte
Friend: Sure, here
*Gives toast*
*bites 8 pieces*
Friend: Dude I said 1 not eight!
Me: You said I can take a byte :(
Based off my imagination6 -
***JUST BECAUSE SECURITY***
My father deleted the email with the credential for our ISP (pppoe: username and password), and I need it to connect a router.
Just called the tecnical service, after a couple of minutes they gave it to me.
They sent to me both username and password.
In clear.
Asking me where to send (which mail).
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW IS CALLED THE CREDENTIAL I NEED.
Obviously, I just had to say the accountholder of the bill.
Now I am super scared, i can virtually access any account.8 -
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Take whatever you want, you'll probably need it sometime.2 -
At work for a bank, I changed the target SQL Server in my SSIS project and arbitrarily, all my custom-coded scripts were erased!!
I didn't take backups and I spent a week coding them! Fuuuuuuuuuckkkkk 😠
Ended up rewriting them.
I learned my lesson... 😥2 -
!rant
Boss challenged me to get something done before a demo and he'd give me tomorrow off paid. I completed the task on the time and at the end of the day told him I was leaving for another position. He was totally calm, cool, professional and still gave me tomorrow off paid. I don't know how that happened. Life is good.4 -
Google chrome
Plz come on
Just take the whole c drive for ur cache and stuff...
Dont take my whole ram12 -
> System becomes Irresponsive
> Chrome is taking RAM
> Closes two windows with 60+ tabs
> Leaves 1 tab open
> Still taking RAM
> taskkill /f /t /im chrome.exe
> RAM is not being held as hostage by Chrome
15 -
My tip for staying productive: **Don't**
Take a break. Take a few. Have a nap. Take a stroll outside. Enjoy life.
Life's too short. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong.
Fuck productivity.3 -
Facebook: Take this video
Me: No, thank you, I'm good.
Facebook: come'n it won't even take you a minute
Me: I'm quite busy
Facebook: Please...
Me: okay I will take a look
Facebook: Video will continue after a short ad1 -
Things will always take longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law (which is that things will always take longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law).3
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You know it's time to solve a bug when you pause the music, take a final sip of coffe, sit up straight in your chair and take off all accessories7
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My college forces you to take chemistry, physics, mechanics, philosophy, and Environmental science before you even take your first coding course. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY......... I didn't apply for this XD7
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I live life on the edge.
I dont include any polyfills whenever I write JS.
You can take me outta the streets but you cant take the streets outta me.1 -
How to take off with a jet:
1. Have a 2013 MBP
2. Don't clean the coolers and exhausts for 5 years
3. Transpile an app and start a gradle build
4. Enjoy your machine taking off at around 100°C
FFS Apple, 100°C is not OK. Neither is having the fucking fans so loud I can hear them over my headphones. I should probably clean the laptop... Not sure I can open it up though. Company-issued machine.9 -
Dad: why are you doing IT after I put you through business school
Me: because you're the one that nagged me not to do it instead CS.... So now I'm stuck in IT... Because I can't seem to understand Big O and algorithms needed to pass a technical interview...6 -
I dropped my kid off at preschool and went my way home.
She's 2 so I transport her on a stroller.
While coming back, I came across an old lady sweeping the sidewalk of her house, and it got narrow to pass through because there was a tree next to her.
I carefully slowed down as to not collide with her, and while going through, we noticed each other.
I did a tiny smile as a way of saying "hi" like I usually do to people on the street.
To which she gave back the most innocent and sweet smile I've ever seen a stranger give on the street.
I could honestly feel my heart crack as it happened.
I guess the stroller must have caused her sympathy thus that reaction.
(which is why I like going around with the stroller, because people tend to treat you nicely which feels nice, like butterflies)
I know it might seem like an ordinary story without a punchline, but let me explain that I walk this city everyday.
And even though the people here is very nice compared to other cities I've lived in, it is very rare to get smiled at with such joy.
You might still think that is not a good story. But I can explain its relevance.
As some of you know, I post triggering content on this account, closeted parts of me that I normally hide,
Such as sexual stuff, some people think I'm a degenerate but I like to think I just have normal sexual thoughts that don't affect others in real life AT ALL.
And I'm also very argumentative, again, some people might see it as troll behaviour. On my side though, I just don't like bullshit and call it out when I see it.
But with this post, I'm not trying to be more likable or negate all the weird shit I said. This post is just another closeted part of me, being emotional.
And the reason I hide that is because it is not generally well accepted when a man is sensitive, at least where I'm from.
For example, if a female friend at work had a nice haircut, sometimes I feel the urge to be like "omg girl you look so prettyyyy!!!!".
But if I did that I know what will happen based on DIRECT experience: people will assume I'm gay or weak, and will make fun of that.
Or the actual friend will think I'm hitting on her.
No, fucking thank you, not having that shit.
But even if people accepted that, they just can't conceive I'm also very direct and honest, so when they do get to know me better, they get shocked.
So what do I do? I just hide that. That might change in the future, but I don't have the energy right now to deal with some people's simplemindedness.
I'm not making any sort of political statement, like "people should be treat me correctly or else get fired because of offending my gender".
But I'm not gonna lie, it would feel very nice if I was around more progressive people. I wished I had just just standard male behaviour and thoughts.
I guess some people in progressive cities are more accepting of the whole gender fluid thing, so I wished I lived in one (let me clarify though, I'm not a mindless gender fanatic).
I'm also not perfect and sometimes the line between "I love your haircut" and "I'm into you" blurs the fuck out, so that's on me... I don't know if it's something I can change though...
Hopefully all this shit I'm saying doesn't make me look like a lunatic. Veeeery hopefully.
Though, If you think for real I'm a lunatic or bad person, you can suck donkey dick.14 -
After talk to the professor I'm working for
Professor: well, take a break.
Me: take a break? I have to report to you next week during spring break and you just released an assignment.
Professor: well but you have three weeks for the assignment.
Me: inside: but you said start early on the assignment
Professor: take a break3 -
My mantra while browsing devRant:
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
I will downvote and walk away. I will not take the bait.
*exhales*2 -
Stolen’t.
A USB drive has 2 sides. So it’ll take a maximum of 2 tries to get it right.
Why does it take at least 5?1 -
So pleased I've got a week off work, I can just relax without even thinking about development. Ahh bliss.
*Opens Visual Studio ten minutes later*3 -
In case you didn't know. There is a fish with a binomial name of Boops Boops
BoopsBoops boopsboops = new BoopsBoops();3 -
Had to modify, but phone case is looking good.
(Took embarrassingly long time to figure out how to take photo of phone case, ala, just take phone out of case.)😅
4 -
Country roads ♪
Take me home ♪
To the place ♪
I belong ♪
StackOverflow ♪
Help me right now ♪
Take me home ♪
Country roads ♪7 -
Shiieet ... I lost my appetite to learn new things and technology 😐😔 this pendemic need to stop asap.5
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PM - Client wants to know if we can do this? Also, how long will it take?
[Spend 2 hours researching because you've never done this before]
Dev - Yes, it'll take 15 minutes.1 -
I'm about to quit my job this week to start my own software company... I have a meeting this friday with the first potential-client and I feel very anxious about it. I also feel scary because if this doesn't work probably I will stay unemployed with a 30K debt because of my Mac
Scary but anxious... Feel pretty excited, wish me luck guys!14 -
MFW when the upgrade that I estimated would take one hour to complete, is now looking to take 10-12 hours...6
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Just seeking approval for spending money. What do you guys think:
2x 1080p 24" 16:9 or
1x 1080p 34" 21:9 or
1x 1440p 34" 21:9?20 -
Such beautiful. Much wow.
I am sick of this shit.
Yet another tour bus company fails to serve a website for tourists to reserve a seat ffs.
Tried the mobile version first. The UI looked awesome, but I could not reserve a seat. I could only see free and already reserved seats.
"Fuck you" I tought. Let us try it by changing user agent to desktop.
Now the UI sucks camel pussy, but the functionality works. Well... not so well. I want to sit at the most right corner to avoid people who keep going to WC or have other ADS syndroms thus interrupting my fucking sleep once every 30 minutes.
1 -
I need a vacation. More importantly, I need money to take said vacation.
Side note, how the fuck do Europeans afford to take super long vacations.33 -
The time you take to code something is the time people take to quit vim. P.S. the meme below is not mine.
2 -
For me, I personally just over estimate the time and take my time working on it. Take breaks whenever I need, that could be going for a walk, watching a few videos, etc.1
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I'm supposed to migrate a WP site and modify it accordingly by tomorrow.....
Went on a shopping spree instead.4 -
When your mostly done code that you spent time on documenting and keeping clean gets handed over to the sloppiest dev on the team. Because that dev is out of tasks and you got other work that moved up in priority. I really hope he doesn't ruin everything :(3
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Dang it all to hestia. I was feeling lower and lower then I realized I wasn't exercising like at all. So I got to my walks again at work and went to gym after work. I feel like a million bucks!2
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Just came across a site with TERRIBLE CSS and some sort of event handling to block the user from accessing the dev tools.
So in my Chrome, no F12 and no Ctrl+Shift+I.
Well, guess what. The Tools menu in the title bar also contains a link to Developer Tools.
Me: 1 Them: 010 -
Continuation of the events ranted here: https://devrant.com/rants/9895220/...
In a turn of events and very emotional moments of human admissions, it turned out that the team leader in question is in fact suffering a lot on a personal level. Not to detail here but suffice to say that, if his story is true, is enough to make everyone have a very short fuse.
He - eventually - admitted his wrongdoings, asked/begged me to stay, promised on his life and soul to never communicate unprofessionally ever again, to take a long vacation to mourn and reflect and will consider relinquishing the position of team leader for my team and just focus on the other one he manages.
I considered this a win. I stood my ground, made very clear the terms on how I continue working in the organization, the project, and with him, and kept my client and money rolling.
That being said if it ever happens once more. I immediately resign and he will be left without any chance of recovery. -
ya know you should take this online [language/field] course on Udemy...ya know you should take this online [language/field] course on Udemy...ya know you should take this online [language/field] course on Udemy...ya know you should take this online [language/field] course on Udemy...ya know you should take this online [language/field] course on Udemy...ya know you should take this online [language/field] course on Udemy...
This is why adblock exists
Edit: they must be contractually obligated to include the phrase "ya know..." In every ad7 -
anytime someone has a request and tells you how long it should take... run far far away!
"can you do this? should only take like an hour"2 -
Apple added medicine logging feature.
Do you know how they tell you you should take your medicine? It’s “It’s time to log in your medications”. It’s not “take your meds now”. Otherwise, imagine those lawsuits, ooga booga iphone told me to take meds and I died.7 -
Take a look at my schools website. Take in mind this school is known to have the best programming course for the people starting in 10th grade. www.esenviseu.net9
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How the fuck am I supposed to go on learning embedded programming, when almost all chips/parts take at least 2 months to ship...
This will take ages 🙃6 -
Goddamn it! I'm trying my absolute best to get all the bugs you keep complaining about, but when you don't bother to explain exactly what you did to get to the bug you're making it really hard for me to help you. I know there's a goddamn deadline but you're killing me by making me take shots in the dark!!! FUCCCCCCCCCCCK!
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Things You Learn After A While #464:
Tasks take as long as they take.
Then one week, everything lines up, you're in a groove, make almost no mistakes, and get your shit written in half the time it normally takes.
Management now considers this the standard of timeliness and gets upset when tasks take a normal amount of time.
Moral: Always make sure you take at least as long as you said it would take to complete a task.1 -
“Is There Too Much CSS Now?”
Ok Kiki. Do your thing. Good take? Bad take?
https://css-tricks.com/is-there-too...6 -
Simple question, I'm writing a coding course that does some cloud stuff.
Which cloud providers actually allow you to limit spending without some stupid "setup a service to nuke everything" fuckery?
As far as I can tell, Azure and Oracle. It's stupid how often this is raised as a concern for beginners and how hard it is to actually limit.8 -
I wanted to automate the install of a toolchain which had just a manual install script. Piped `yes` into the installer and it worked just fine. Only downside, it always installs to 'y' 😅
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So today a file my PHP application made went through to a machine (50x50 meters) and out came the finished product exactly as it should have.
Sidenote; fuck you haters4 -
This is how my AntLang code looks like:
repeat[{echo',|{[+]<x*2>,(4le+)take(0eq(x\4)mod 6)take<(+\1)%3>}'x};{1};<1>]
:D -
Politely suggested the wife should take the car today to run errands and I'd take public transport to work today.
Hopefully the only regret I'll make today.2 -
rant.type = Rants.PrivacyAdvice;
Just for the ones using chrome and did not inspect their settings for a while: I just discovered, that there is a "Clean computer" point at the end of the settings where an option can be set where to send system settings, processes, malicious software, your life, you, your family, your house, everything to Google. Also why the fuck does Google start developing there own virus scanner now... Just WTF!!!8 -
Today I found this 😂😂
https://youtu.be/NATZy-ZqD7A
(I mean: YouTube found me after my previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2215801/...)1 -
I don't understand how having multiplatform tools to take screenshots still in 2019 continue to take disgusting photos with your cell phones2
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seems to be my luck not to be financially dependable on web dev. when it comes to javascript it supports me with the opportunity to develop some pieces of software to substantially simplify my job bypassing all the it restrictions in our company. i understand i am in the perfect position not having to fulfill customers needs and to make compromises only to myself and that this does not count for professionals. but i like to take up cudgels for javascript seeing some of the rants here 😁
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When the company you work for buy you a laptop, do you take it home or leave it at the office? If you take it home, do you use it as a personal laptop for side projects for example?11
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In case of error, During error solving and decrease the tension:
some take coffee
Some do smoke
Some consume alcohol
Some take beers
I take lot of water and start loud senseless music.
What do you do?5
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